New site is now at realcoachken.com if I can be of any help

@user-oj6ev5el8r

3 ай бұрын

He must have laughing at me

@user-oj6ev5el8r

3 ай бұрын

I want me back now

@user-oj6ev5el8r

3 ай бұрын

Not him

@user-oj6ev5el8r

3 ай бұрын

He watched me died

@user-oj6ev5el8r

3 ай бұрын

Until Jehovah God brought me to my senses

I am in no contact. Not because I want her back. But because I want me back. I know she doesnt want me back. These videos helps me cope with the pain. Thank you

@mikeypiezzo

Жыл бұрын

Hang in there bro

@Crave88evarC

Жыл бұрын

@@mikeypiezzoI will see this through. Thank you brother. 🤝

@Fridayhunter.

Жыл бұрын

Your legend and trust me you will never be same again 🎉

@Mileys_choice

Жыл бұрын

Very well said. I wish you the best. However, the idea is that no contact might make your ex want to come back, so that's something to think about, if you want it. Good luck. Sincerely.

@Crave88evarC

Жыл бұрын

@@Mileys_choice ❤️

I think this is sad that there are so many of us hurting. Need a group chat lol You are not alone.....

@DMuvvy

28 күн бұрын

I think it’s so sad too. I’m grateful for these videos and for everyone’s comments🩷🩷

@rachelford8852

16 күн бұрын

It is a rollercoaster through hells depths

Listen to this guy over and over again if your going over a break up. Best advice out their so far.

Honestly, there's a lot of rubbish online today when it comes to relationships, but man, Coach Ken, you're beacon of realism, kindness and sensitivity - bundled in really thoughtful package. Thank you for all you do!

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for the kind words Declan!

@wtcmedic911

Жыл бұрын

I agree. Some actually quite creepy and I don’t know why that helps with the business plan. After listening to this one a few times I went thru my list and deleted 3-5. I love the facts here and not just saying “she will Hoover”. You explained why.

@clintonsthilaire

Жыл бұрын

Do a long distance relationship NC video.

@dampergoldenrod4156

Жыл бұрын

it was worst 35 years ago in 1988 the hurting man was treated like a predator or was told to make it work at all costs which often brought destruction to the man. they also used religion to tell men the bible tells them to do this or do that. things were way worse before the information age.

@alaalfa8839

9 ай бұрын

The worship isn't a bad thing, unless it's true, that the person has values empathy and is like a source of inspiration for the partner, or family members. For example may have the talent to say interesting things in a poetic way as musicians do or authors, and poets do. which boosts the imagination of people in a positive way, like seeing good stuff about life or about art etc. But maybe the best way is to show empathy as well and good energy and gratitude in modest way.

I was on day 32, but I just broke no contact. I found out that the woman I love’s mom just died. I reached out with a message of sympathy. I get what C. Lee and Ken are saying about NC, but I had to express myself and acknowledge her pain and sorrow over losing her mom. It’s not about me at all in that moment, at least that’s how i see it. 😢

@pmdal

Жыл бұрын

Great! You are right! Nice hearth!

@zandercook1494

Жыл бұрын

Good for you. It’s okay to break no-contact when it comes to those sort of things.

@edt8535

11 ай бұрын

@@zandercook1494 …thank you, friend!

@johnwick2338

9 ай бұрын

Any new updates?

@sunnyvasic

6 ай бұрын

If she doesn't take you back after that gesture, than she doesn't deserve you

She called after more than 9 months of no contact! To ask some lame question about a vitamin supplement! Lol I was courteous and friendly although I don’t feel the same as when the breakup first happened! When you stay present in your world working on yourself, it can travel and be perceived as strength, they can sense it!

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Amen - it's a real thing!

It’s been months of no contact after he kicked me out. But now looking into applying for mortgages which I’ve gotten approved for and just waiting on God to open doors.

This is exactly what I’m going through right now and the pain is unbearable. I can’t move and my heart literally hurts so bad I thought I was dying. I can’t stop thinking about her and I found out she moved on so fast I’m not even an afterthought.. i pray to god every day to help me through this and I don’t wish this on anyone. I was so happy and healthy before I met her and I just want myself back but I’m so broken.

@kagamitaiga9167

6 ай бұрын

How did you know she is with someone else?😢

@sidsepulveda4827

5 ай бұрын

Feeling the same here bro keep praying and I pray for you to heal.

@johnbrooke9948

4 ай бұрын

Meet some new people and hopefully they will divert your attention.

@abbysworldtravel

3 ай бұрын

I know exactly what you going through. It’s the toughest time ever, but you will get through. Time will heal your heart.

@greggparry5673

3 ай бұрын

I totally understand the place you were in and I’m I’m there now and been in no contact for 10 weeks and it’s honestly killing me and I’m in a permenant state of despair😢 Although I still want her back she also destroyed me quietly and affected my mental health. I hope you are in a better place now though and have found a happier place

Not here to win my ex back. He wants me back and I know I could easily get him back but I don't want the relationship anymore. I'm actually here to not give in to that grief and withdrawal. I don't want an addiction to this person to cause me to settle for a relationship I don't want. Your channel is very helpful. Thank you

@CoachKen

5 ай бұрын

Thanks Slim! Much appreciated

5 weeks today. I miss her terribly. But I can make it

After 5 months into the relationship,she left me cuz she holds grudges and she said that we’re incompatible which doesn’t make sense, it’s about respecting each other’s differences. Right now I’m going no contact to heal wish me luck people

@russ123321bunya

Жыл бұрын

I'm in the same situation man. Been 7 days now. It's getting easier. How are you holding up mate

@tanguerogo

10 ай бұрын

Wow, exactly the same with me since end of July. Suddenly incompatible, she just wants to be good friends some time. I'm strong in NC. Good luck 2u2!

@DarkWolfWRX

3 ай бұрын

I just got broken up with after 5 months too. We knew about eachothers pasts and I did so much to respect her past and her issues. I have some issues as well and sometimes like to check in to make sure nothing is wrong when I tend to over think. Well I asked if anything was wrong and it blew up. She ended it then and there. She said we were not a match. Which made no sense. Any time we were physically together, even multiple days in a row, there was NO ISSUES. Nothing, not even a tiny disagreement. We got along so damn well and felt so happy. Then poof. It was like I was less than nothing. She went NC with me last week. I am sure I have lost any chance of getting her to come around. But I am just going to have to force myself to stay NC as well. This is rough.

Its crazy how i am reading all these comments from you guys who are hurting right now. I was the same! I went though a long 2 years of constant pain! A messy and very prolonged detachment process. I can tell you all right now, you will get over it, in time! And if your ex did you wrong! I promise, they always end up worse off. I dont say that to wish any harm on your person, it happemd to my ex and now i just hope shes ok. As it stands, i have zero attraction for her now, and thats crazy because she ruled my mind for so long. Stay up! You have to go through this pain right now. Its necessary.

@sweetlovelady3404

3 ай бұрын

Wow it’s amazing how you say they’re not better off , my son father left me when my son was 1 years old and I was so hurt he got married right after the worse pain ever for years I was hurting until I hurt no more. Now his wife send him a divorce papers and now he wants to come back to me HELL NO!!!! I have zero feelings now and I can’t even believe it now am just praying for him that’s it nothing more nothing less Karma is real karma knows everybody addresses once your heart is pure

Have made the, "put on a pedestal/worship" mistake twice in my adult life; never even got to relationship stage and still ended up heart broken. Am disabled, so I think that's what set me up for this mistake. Dark limerence is a real thing. Truly, NO ONE is perfect!

@CoachKen

11 ай бұрын

Amen! Funny thing is one powerful aspect of attraction is KNOWING you have a purpose and meaning beyond that other person. We're built for relationships, so it is normal to feel a sense of something missing when we aren't with someone sharing our lives (unless pain, fear or narcissism makes us WANT to be alone) - but being wired for relationship doesn't mean that ONE person can or should be our foundational source of purpose. Something more worthy of our lives has to be there. A Passion or Purpose or a Calling that's even greater than who we are is the best foundation. I love my wife very very much. I love my kids and my parents and my sister and my brother with all my heart - BUT none of them are the PURPOSE of my life - I believe in God and from long personal and even painful experience I've learned if I put me or anything above Him it always breaks in the end. No human being is capable of being the purpose of another human beings life - that's worship, and as flattering as it might sound, being worshipped isn't an attraction builder as much as its an ego stroke to the person who will then devalue you for placing them so high above you. (Sorry if I rambled a bit here)

@heather-jk1sj

11 ай бұрын

@@CoachKen no need to apologize for rambling, needed to be reminded of all of this. Hard to zero in on what your purpose is when you have significant mobility issues, but obviously, I know I have a purpose (maybe more than one:) So easy to forget what your spiritual foundation is when you get caught up in your emotions. I think I might be one of those people you mentioned who are above average in intelligence (intellectually), but lack emotional intelligence. I tend to think in extremes in EI, if that makes sense. Not everything is EITHER/OR. There can be a lot of GRAY areas when it comes to sorting out feelings. Thanks again for your wisdom!

@Ahicksaf

3 ай бұрын

Yes I have put her on a pedestal, and actually she broke up with me for reasons I have never heard her communicate during the relationship, just random things like "you are not a leader to me". I think she has BPD , but still I loved her so deeply anyway, I swear everytime I see her there's an artery in my heart that shakes. I have put her on a pedestal for too long, and All i got from her is disrespect and a total negligence of my feelings. Imagine that she found someone else so quickly, I wanted closure so I told her to come visit me in my house, and I was thinking maybe I can change her mind, but she informs me that she's with someone else and it was 2 days after my breakup. She ended things with me said she's sorry but doesn't see a future. After our breakup conversation, she slept in the room next to me and called her new boyfriend in my own house. The next day, I kicked her out of my house, and I told her that she shouldn't have come if she's with someone else that quickly. I was shocked and hurt, her total disregard for what I felt for her was shocking

Dude I'm glad I found this video. My ex and I broke up over her shit testing me and I got fed up, so she ended it 3 months ago. I chased her until I invited her to a concert and she told me that she was gonna be out of town. The very next day, she was at work . I felt like a damn fool and went NC and made this list of things that she did to annoy me. I'm feeling a lot better about myself and stopped beating myself up. Walking away is the best start to healing.

I was with her for 5 years. She left over a year ago and while ive been on self improvement and made significant progress financially and physically...im still in this dark stage.....over a year ago.

@nabman7425

Жыл бұрын

You are a human being

@user-hk3el6wq9r

Жыл бұрын

Hang in there brother. Work on you!

@jamesdeek7039

Жыл бұрын

@@user-hk3el6wq9r some days are easier than others, I've been grinding like hell, Thanks my guy.

@ThugLife-pn1sh

5 ай бұрын

Update

Thank you for acknowledging the pain. And for acknowledging the lack of understanding of it in others. That in itself helps a lot.

I really believe that me and my wife are in a spiritual purification and when you said worship…my mouth dropped. God wants me to worship him and love her. Made so much sense to me thank you

@CoachKen

8 ай бұрын

Thanks Big Dog - Happy for you and your wife. Praying for you both! Been there - it does get better!

From a man who's been through a massive painful divorce and a couple of break ups this video is bang on the money , and I actually feel like I am normal and they weren't special. My pain is on me and for me to deal with. NC protect yourselves at all times.

He ended our relationship 6 weeks ago. I've been in NC. Dated 14 months. Had a great relationship. Things did become routine. Looking back now, I see he pocketed me. The only people on his side that knew about me was his mother. We did not have any arguments or bad blood between us. I'm angry because I was giving so much to the relationship and I see he was not. I was never needy or clingy. He had his life and I had mine. He knew how hurt I was about how a precious ex ended our relationship and ended our the same way and makes me so angry. Some days it take everything to keep from calling him and telling him off. If anyone should have lost attraction, it should have been me. Somehow, I still miss him. Either way, I know to stay in NC. I know going off on him will only be temporary relief.

@kristenk708

Ай бұрын

Do you know why he broke up? Definitely stay NC and live your best life!

I’ll always care about her and I actually wish her the very best in life but I wish me the very best in life also. I’m grateful for the lessons and the time I’ve had alone to self reflect. I’m better today than I was yesterday.

This man is amazing with these videos. He knows the mind so well during a breakup

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Thank you Envy! Very kind of you to say

I lost my Erin...6 months ago. The breakup happened 8 weeks ago...she was into a rebound relationship the day she dumped me. Need to tell you...she made the decision but didn't tell me straight away. I found her and him in my bed... I have been idolising her...this video has made me realise that...I still have a lot of challenges ahead...but thank you for what's left of my dignity

@chaiti27

Жыл бұрын

Keep up the good fightback !

@tb87670

Жыл бұрын

Any update?

@bigtreecombatacademy2927

Жыл бұрын

Should have gone nuts there bro

@santabala6314

9 ай бұрын

Ho noo!!

My ex with a very bad mental health reached out to me via email finally opening up to me about everything. I gave her a proper apology for what I believed I did wrong. She responded with anger to many of my apologies but I am not feeding into it anymore. I also had a different ex contact me. She has been going to therapy for 2 years. She apologized to me for being unwilling to admit she is wrong. She apologized for not caring about my perspective and for being anxious and assuming the worst. I also apologized to her for what i did wrong. Many of my actions brought out her anxious style of attachment. Not going to lie.... I thought women were not capable of apologizing properly but all it takes is 2 years of no contact/therapy. 😂 Shes going to come over within the week. I'm very happy.

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Congratulations! Try to stay in the moment - One day at a time!

@sukiarts

Жыл бұрын

That's awesome! Any updates?

Thank you! This is something new that I needed to hear. It's as if I am being read out of the book. Hopefully, it will help me as an encouragement with some time passing by. This was probably that describes me from what I can't make out of for the way I feel things, and what my mind is trying to process.

I needed to hear this today. Damn man. Thank you so much. I’m over here dying. Not anymore. The list will be my journal entry for the day

I been married to my ex wife for 20 years. We raised 5 kids together. We had non together. She sent me a text 4 days ago telling me we need time apart for awhile. She said she loves me but not in love with me but she cares but enough i guess. I cant imagine starting a new life with someone at 50. I cry every day for her everday. She is a narcissistic i think after watching some of these videos.

This is a very good video. My relationship ended 3,5 months ago. It had only lasted 5 months and was pure limerence. One evening I asked her if everything was okay and she said that she had been feeling less in love with me as of late. So I calmly but immediately packed my stuff and left her, without a sad and pointless breakup conversation (keeping my pride and hoping she would miss me). I went into no contact pretty soon after that. I never begged, but I did measure the temperature a few times in the first week after the breakup. Since then, I stuck wth no contact, even though I've been missing her like hell for the last three months. It's insane how much I think of her even though I'm trying not to. I've lost all hope by now, which is a good thing, and now I'm starting to understand that even if we would get back together, I would probably be paranoid and expecting her to lose her feelings for me again. And I would never want to feel like that in a relationship, not for myself and not for her. So that's a thought that's sort of sobering me up these days. But yeah, I've definetly been going through 'dark limerence' for quite a while now. And it sucks!!! I wish I just had some more shallow feelings, that would make life a lot easier.

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Pain can make you envy the more shallow and blissful people in the world!

@kathyglass2922

Жыл бұрын

Oh wouldn't it be nice to be shallow???? It's little comfort right now, but we are better, kinder people for not being shallow. But it's nice to fantasize about waking one morning and not having any feelings for the lost love....

@kathyglass2922

Жыл бұрын

@@CoachKen could you explain that further, please?

OMG... First video of yours I've watched... I've NEVER heard of dark limerance before... I have BPD (13 years of intense therapy and medications...so far so good) and you've just nailed it. Wow. Thank you for helping me understand this! I'm quite aware of myself 90% of the time these days, but OMG I really relate to this 🙏

This is exactly what I started doing subconsciously, now I gotta write them down ! This is wonderful.

Trust and total honesty is essential for a safe relationship

You did good by becoming a coach . You are balm for the soul . You really make me understand and come to my senses and be strong, patient , even feel really good and free. Thank you❤

Appreciate for this content. Everything you told describes my fillings precisely. I need to restore myself at the first place

Perfectly explained the situation. I feel things intensely and even though he sabotaged the connection, I looked back and blamed myself. Trying to stay away as much as I can and iterating the imperfections to gain myself back…

Best video I’ve heard about how to handle a breakup!

Excellent advice. It’s helping me feel less heartbroken in the moment. The pedestal I’ve put him on has crumbled and I’m going to get back my power

You 100% described me. I have high anxiety and possible adhd I have the worst case of dark limerance. I fall into baddddd anxiety 😢. It takes me a long time to fall out of this.

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Yes - def does

@KenRFoxNashvilleSEO

Жыл бұрын

I understand - wired the same way. It can feel unbearable - even overwhelming. Don't trust that feeling

@alisachaise3

Жыл бұрын

Admit the truth about that person to yourself. It will set you free if you keep admitting the truth about the person & if you really think of it, you probably didn’t like many IMPORTANT, things about the person… pros and cons list, admit the truth to yourself & remember, it’s not you. You are worthy to a prism who is worthy of you.

@corydavis5636

Жыл бұрын

Bro just get a new chick

@higherpowertarot

Жыл бұрын

@@corydavis5636 ????

THIS!!!!!!! It was a lightbulb moment of someone perfectly describing my thoughts. I have literally spent a month self flagellating and taking all of his bullets of how much i neglected him (whilst he bad mouths me to his emotional AP) and yet he's been emotionally neglectful of me for years!!!!!

This is fantastic Ken, puts a lot in perspective and it’s all so true. Sometimes when you’re knee deep in the situation, you can see the forest for the trees.

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Thanks Kristian! Much appreciated big man!

@KristianMagnuson

Жыл бұрын

@@CoachKen Good stuff Ken, I'll schedule a call soon so we can catch up! Hope all is well with you!

I am so happy that I am focusing on my novel again. I am more focused my friends and work. This is such a good feeling.

This was fabulous advice. After watching a ton of videos, this one has helped the most.

This is the best thing I have heard in so long!!! Thank you!!!

This video was so helpful to me. More than any other advice have gotten about this excruciating break up. Not completely out of pain and torment completely but getting there. Especially appreciated the explanation of the flip side of blissful vs dark limerance. Most enlightening and helpful. Thank you for this.

Ken you are speaking from my heart, from my mind. Thank you! 5,5 months in No Contact, and I totally agree and lived through everything you say.

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Gabor! mental hug my friend! Thank you for the comments

@NHPhamousPolo

Жыл бұрын

@@CoachKenp

So so true. Right on I especially resonated when he said that you know if you really move on you will never take him back. But you aren’t ready for that, so you hold on. For a while. That’s where I’m at right now. But the more I look at what really happened between us, the more I realize I really don’t want more of that

@marquettamiller608

Жыл бұрын

It's really hard to want someone back when they spend a lot of their time pissing on your boots trying to make you think it's raining.

@dampergoldenrod4156

Жыл бұрын

when you "move on" you reached the point where you know this person is dragging you down and demoralizing you and has no concern for you. at that point you know this person needs to be out of your life completely. i disagree with the idea once you move on you can make a choice to bring this person back into your life or not as they have already proven to not be good for you.

So grateful to have found this channel. Loved every bit of advice !! Thank u 🙏🏼

@CoachKen

11 ай бұрын

Thank you Super!

You are so good. Speak truth in a very sweet way. I am so grateful.

I actually did that method of writing the things I didn’t like about him about 2 months ago and it really does help with detaching. I’m still working on it though but it has helped be to get back to reality when I tend to get in my feels again. You will soon realize that the perfect person who you though he/she is, was just an imagination that you created in your head because you wanted it to work. You just have to let your feelings feel through and focus on why you’re feeling a certain about their being as a whole.

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Def a process - part of your mind and heart is fighting to hold on to the perfect image of them that torments you

Coach Ken you've given me hope and a rational approach to a relationship on the rocks!! Thanks Brother

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Rock on! Thanks Marc!

Wow best advice ever, I never heard of dark limerence, it makes so much sense. I've had 2 months of this pain and its really ruining my life because I'm so sensitive, so from today I'm writing my list. Thank you so much Coach Ken and coach Lee. You guys are brilliant.

@karenhill2174

11 ай бұрын

Nam Myoho Renge Kyo to you and everyone suffering!

Literally the first time I've heard my feelings perfectly described!! And finally a different perspective and advice!! Let me go write my list. I had a list of things he did and I thought it made me more sad and I threw it away but looking back to that time, I actually was better than I am now with my heartbreak. Thanks so much. Yes I want him back, yes I've worked on myself so much but yes, I want to stop feeling this emotional pain I feel I'm causing myself. ❤️ Thank you for this!!!!

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Thanks SwiftDawg! Mental hug!

@tubesurf17

Жыл бұрын

feel better soon. im a male...it hurts. i know what u mean

@user-il1if6fn4m

Жыл бұрын

Wish I had known about this BEFORE I wrote the letter. Now I don't know if I have a chance. It is very complicated because he already posted " in a relationship" and is my neighbor with cattle on my farm. We have known each other for over 40yrs together for 7. He broke up with me 2 x previously very early when we dating came back the first time and I had a "talk" with him the second time and now is 7yrs later Help

Coach Ken you are realistic and sensitiv you offer more than anybody ever did.Thank you

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Thank you Julijana!

Great and informative video like always, Coach. Love the new viewing angle you setup as well. Going to try your advice and see if it lessens the pain I’m in.

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Thanks Steve! Let me know how it works for you

This might be the best concise explanation. One hundred percent truth.

You are speaking truth you definitely have to know who you were with and who you are with we all mistakes. Everyone needs to have boundaries if you don’t things will not work out because the issue will cycle back again. I’m going through the situation right now and I learned a lot by watching her instead of calling her out I’ve allowed for her to form a defense mechanism when she is wrong she know what it is and she tend to get back in her she’ll because she don’t believe in accountability but at the same time she feels bad that’s on her that’s the main reason I don’t contact her because even though I have issues that need to be worked on I still believe she was petty by ending it. I then have told her why all her expectations wasn’t met she had high expectations of me and saw me as a high valued man which we all are if we remember who we are. That’s the reason why I haven’t given up on her because she don’t know I am working on my financial crisis something I don’t want to burden her with. Our last conversation helped us realize we have to work on ourselves she want me to get right and I want her to see that I’ve been protecting her from her clients and family because she do run a business helping out the elderly and them retired old men with money and status love her. I had to deal with one that was consistently inviting my girl to watch a concert in a yacht I’m thinking to myself I’m a rehabilitated thug which never made it prison I only made it to booking. What can I offer my wife even though I’m not married to her I considered her my wife the moment I met her. Now with her obsessed strange cousin being miserable and wanting all the attention from the women in the family in other words the one that encourages the women in the family to leave their husbands so they could have their hot girl summer I’m not dumb. We all have examples in our lives from the moment we are born i so happen to grow up with aunts cousins and sisters that played the same position being knowledgeable will not allow me to go through what I seen and even though the outcome might be different what are the chances of me not being a victim as far as being cheated on. Now I’m going through our first month of being broken up after three weeks of being ghosted what messes me up she said I’m a good man but not for her but that text wasn’t written by her and I know this because I know how she text her grammar isn’t correct even with auto correct she don’t use commas nor periods as me right now because I’m typing. I normally proof read everything I send out and she always using harsh words like mother you na mean. This text had mixed emotions written all over it. Lewis I thought I was being negative by thinking of all her cons and even though her pros are greater the cons are heavy but we are not perfect. Thanks for confirming I’m on the right path. Now I have more time to work on myself nor have to feel like I’m second or last and once her and I link up the boundaries we had when we first met will have some realistic once. At first I didn’t care about her and her circle until I noticed her circle was benefiting from her I’m putting that to a stop she is not a bank her cousin definitely going to hold a lost as well I’m waiting for her to screw up which she already is. Her passive aggressive narcissistic ways has been spotted and it’s only a matter of time before she reveals her true intentions.

I teach people how to treat me by what I will allow

I’ve watched hundreds of videos on the relationship/no contact subject, and I can tell you with all certainty, coach Ken is one of the best, if not the best. He delivers precise information with deep knowledge. I’m grateful for your work coach. Saving lives I can tell you. Thanks

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Wow - thank you for the very kind words and encouragement! Sincerely means a lot!

@user-oj6ev5el8r

3 ай бұрын

I don't want this person who caused me so pain

Your videos are excellent Ken. I love the delivery. I believe you care. I’ve been trying to understand my relationship with my wife. I believe BPD is a major factor in her. It’s helped me understand how her operating system is so much different than someone with secure attachment style. The normal advice on dealing with marriage issues (showing love, patience, kindness, gentleness) even in a “masculine” manner did not work. It would only seem to make things worse. It was only when I told her I was ready to end the marriage that my marriage made a sudden turn for the better that had not happened in over twelve years of marriage. BPD is definitely is a factor in the women in her family. Your videos have been GOLD man.

@muzamilswaib7902

Жыл бұрын

Am in no contact now 1 month but am scare she wont answer my calls cos she told mi not to call her again

You described me to the tee in this video. Thank you for your content and God bless.

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Thanks Raandell!

Thank you so much for your knowledge.. My thoughts have driven me crazy. You make so much sense.. I understand now why I feel the way I do. I can't thank you enough.

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing that with me Rebecca! That means a lot to read a message like that

Coach Ken! So much realism in your videos. I love the start of this video… write down what bothered you about your person!!! This is great advice, I’ve done this too myself! When you use reality on what it is that’s keeping you stuck in your person, it’s eye opening and real because sometimes it’s just the fact we were rejected, emotionally sabotaged (as you once pointed out to me, as he wasn’t communicating with me, & didn’t see it coming) and as a woman who has abandonment issues, I can see why I’m stuck on my person being I was future faked & loved bombed, then discarded. Like you once told me, “whether it’s a good man or a bad man, a bad man wouldn’t leave me or things- the way he did!” So, it’s working on understanding myself. So, whether I ever hear from him again or even want to hear from him down the road, staying no contact either way no matter the type of person WORKS FOR EVERYONE ❤I always remind myself no contact is MOST ATTRACTIVE & that’s what makes no contact EASY, (yes) easy for me😊TY for what you do for us 🙏❤

@alisachaise3

Жыл бұрын

6 months 💪

@alisachaise3

Жыл бұрын

Also! Never heard anyone refer to after shock as, “Dark Limerence!!!” We heard it hear first folks 😊 Coach Ken coined it ☝️ first!!!😮and that’s exactly what it feels like 👍 Dark Limerence 😑

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Thanks Alisa - Let's see if it takes off :) (def what it feels like)

this is really great, helped me feel better right away

Love you bro! You're so freakin' awesome! Best on the net!

I Loved your comment sir!!! You're the best!! I will pray for strength and will listen this over and over again.Thank you.

WOW, I can relate to this so much. Thank you for the fantastic video.

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Thank you Galestian! Appreciate the kind words very much!

Coach Ken knows exactly what to say and how we feel. Thank you!

Ken you woke my inner peace and self respect thanks a million ❤

@CoachKen

11 ай бұрын

It's an honor to play any role in that!

Thank you man! Very much! You’re helping me so much make me realize i put her on a pedestal… I’m gonna try from now on to get her off this high place…

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

It works but it takes time - be patient with yourself and the emotion.

Thanks for this video, I needed this. Still wish I wasn't in this situation & that everything will get better in my life

WOW...this is the first time I heard of this...write down their negatives! I listened to so many that haven't ever said this.

Good words I needed to hear. I thought not thinking about him would heal me sooner. Not necessarily true. You need to process everything and that takes as long as it takes.

This is the best advice. Remind yourself of how human they are. Make a list of the red flags. Write down their flaws and cruelties. A healthy and reasonable view of them. Thanks. I’m doing this tonight. 3 weeks after the breakup. Still hurting but in no contact.

You explained this so well. Now I know.

Again, I will thank you once more! This was a fantastic video.

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Thanks Galestian! Much appreciated!

I broke nc after 11 days now back on day 10 and feeling great! Yes I miss them. But I’ve apologized for over stepping boundaries & now i have been focusing on me and actually doing great at it. Even entertaining other people!

@joyromasantavillarete9798

Жыл бұрын

I did the same, broke the nc on the 7th day, didnt get a response and he didn't even bother to read it,so I'm now back on 8th day. I still miss them, but it's not too painful now.

Solid exercise! Thanks coache, seems so simple.

Thank you Coach Ken

Needed this. Balanced me out. ❤

You are so real.... Your content is amazing!!!... You can tell you know your stuff. Wow!!!!! 👌

This is so practical, Coach Ken

She's been gone for three years and I'm still having problems letting go. I have seen countles videos on the subject. This was the most practical and helpful . Having is not so great a thing as wanting. Mr. Spock said that in the episode "Amok Time" The reality is that we weren't good for each other. Thanks for your logic

@09daniscool

7 ай бұрын

The opening of episode 1 of DS9 is a great deep dive into being held in the past by grief. "it's not linear...".

@cherrylane79

4 ай бұрын

TNG has got some great wisdom also.

Probably my favorite video as of yet!

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Thank you Tim - grateful for the encouragement

I love what you had to say … very helpful

This makes 100% sense

This was exactly what I needed to hear .Thank you .New subscriber 😊

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for subbing!

I started writing the list and my god does that work, thank you ken. Ill be referring to and adding to it as needed

@CoachKen

4 ай бұрын

Thank you Landon! Write another list about the things about you that you like and admire as well

Thanks a lot, I need IT to hear this

"People don't want to risk feeling less hurt because they think all that hurt is keeping me connected." That is deep. And pretty much describes most breakups. I'm on here for my daughter who is going through stuff. She's much stronger than I ever was. She's doing no contact with a long-distance ex that went right into a relationship with someone who is not on her level.

Immediately made a list after listening to this video and it really helps a lot. Thanks.

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Excellent! Happy it helped!

Great advice beautifully put. Thank you.

Great video Ken! 💯🙏

The list just helped bring me out of a bad dream i was living.... 30 mins ago she was up there and it helped me come back to reality that shes not perfect. Actually she pissed me off a lot, still love her its only been like 10 days but god damn the wave of warm relief washing over you when you snap out of it is relieving

This video got me to the idea, to put my floor onto a wall. Looks amazing bro!

Thank you, thank you soooo much for your help...

This was great, thankyou 🙏

Thanks for the video which is so right and supportive. After 40 years I am moving on and starting to live and breathe again.

Thank you. It’s good to not lose hope because the pain is immeasurably devastating.

@tikioluu2321

Жыл бұрын

Yes, the pain is emense, and allow yourself to feel all the feelings of grief. After that, believe me, you will be stronger. It takes a brave person to allow those feelings to flow. Do not suppress them. I promise you will come out stronger! Check in to therapy. Listen to love & healing affirmations when you start feeling down.

@johncieclark3897

Жыл бұрын

@tikioluu2321 on month 2 and I feel awful still. Constantly think about him.

@kagamitaiga9167

6 ай бұрын

​@@johncieclark3897update?

Turn those thoughts of perfection towards the better you to strive for!

I needed this! Ty so much.

@CoachKen

Жыл бұрын

Thanks Tom!

Thanks coach . You’re the best !! ❤