What Happens When a Narcissist Can't Control Someone?

Narcissistic people often seek to control and manipulate others to satisfy their own needs for admiration, validation, and power. But when they encounter resistance or are unable to control someone, their fragile sense of self and sense of entitlement is challenged.
This video looks at some situations in which a narcissist might experience a lack of control and outlines some of their common reactions.
#mentalhealth #narcissism #narcissisticabuseawareness

Пікірлер: 280

  • @bigcheech1937
    @bigcheech19376 ай бұрын

    I defeat every narcissist in my life with one simple move. Walk away and never look back 🙏🏾

  • @jvb6547

    @jvb6547

    3 ай бұрын

    Sadly, it’s not a defeat by any means. There are plenty of other victims.

  • @SanityIsland

    @SanityIsland

    2 ай бұрын

    Also sadly, some are in powerful positions that create victims of ordinary people.

  • @ishitabhardwaj1797

    @ishitabhardwaj1797

    Ай бұрын

    Sadly not in family we can do this

  • @victoriaclarke961
    @victoriaclarke9617 ай бұрын

    Narcissism is just so tragic on so many levels. Don't get me wrong the behaviour is next level awful but the whole NPD picture is tragic to all involved. It's pointless behaviour that never changes.

  • @jeffreyjackson5229

    @jeffreyjackson5229

    7 ай бұрын

    Never changes is right. While my father is now deceased, both of my parents were still the same despite my being gone for almost 30 years and 14 consecutive years before seeing either one of them. It's just too deeply engrained.

  • @victoriaclarke961

    @victoriaclarke961

    7 ай бұрын

    @@jeffreyjackson5229 it's amazing the damage it can do to a family. So much division and lost opportunity.

  • @nateo200

    @nateo200

    7 ай бұрын

    Right? Most of the worst narcissists I've met were always smart, charismatic, and capable but nothing was ever enough. They destroy the very people who want to help them. The damage they do is always so senseless of course they are experts at reframing their behavior as a necessary response to something you absolutely didnt do so people are never wise enough to see it at least not right away. And when you catch them in a lie it splinters into blame shifting, changing the subject and chaos.

  • @rockstarofredondo

    @rockstarofredondo

    7 ай бұрын

    I agree. It’s even a disability. But we still have to get away from them.

  • @robbrewer2036

    @robbrewer2036

    7 ай бұрын

    Victims don't need to be victims,narcs are realy petulant 6yr olds with no currage stand up to them and they run away.

  • @EE12CSVT
    @EE12CSVT7 ай бұрын

    It's hilarious to watch them crumble when they realise they can't manipulate you. They're open mouthed that someone is impervious to their 'charms'.

  • @lizericsonn9367

    @lizericsonn9367

    Ай бұрын

    no, not always, when they have trapped you somewhere and you let them know you are onto them you may not get out in one peice.

  • @EE12CSVT

    @EE12CSVT

    Ай бұрын

    @@lizericsonn9367 Um, every woman I've met since 2008 has tried to do that, and failed. I'm hoping that at least one of the two women now coming on to me aren't going to be like that.

  • @jeffreyjackson5229

    @jeffreyjackson5229

    Ай бұрын

    ​@@lizericsonn9367sounds like you have experience?

  • @lizericsonn9367

    @lizericsonn9367

    Ай бұрын

    @@jeffreyjackson5229 yes

  • @828findadventure
    @828findadventure7 ай бұрын

    The sad thing is that no matter what you do or say, a narcissist will never connect the dots. They will just tell everyone something is wrong with you, doing whatever they can to get “supply” from those that will listen now that you have gone silent. Believe me, silence is golden and the best revenge.

  • @mj3845

    @mj3845

    4 ай бұрын

    You've truly identified what's been happening to my husband and I. My husband's 51 year old daughter has for 37 years never accepted our marriage. Her mother died in 1985 and we got married in 1987. She has tried to tear our marriage apart and destroy me personally. I'm just now rebuilding my self esteem. Nothing will ever ruin our marriage. God put us together after his wife died. His daughter is 51 and still lives her mother's death every day. Gosh, my husband and I are able to think of all the wonderful things about his former wife. That's how his daughter should have evolved after all these years. Remember all the good things. Stop making up lies and tearing us down to everyone you know. Sorry to wax on.

  • @Kathy-kr1sv

    @Kathy-kr1sv

    5 күн бұрын

    ​@@mj3845Interesting age... My 55yr old son has attacked me savagely... Yet I now realize the emotional *stabs* have been longterm. His dad & I married 57yrs now NO contact with him... Sadly I didn't know that this narcissistic behavior was a thing until I searched his behaviour. Now know my mil & film both narcs that I knocked myself out trying to jump higher believing if I tried harder they'd accept me Hilarious Take care of yourself honey 💜🌹

  • @POS3278

    @POS3278

    Күн бұрын

    I have found this to be so true. Whenever I'm tempted to set something straight or offer reality checks or some common sense to whatever situation, I tell my self, whatever you offer will be an offering to the temple of chaos.....so it's not worth it.

  • @petervandolah5322

    @petervandolah5322

    6 сағат бұрын

    Exactly right ...

  • @Kloops
    @Kloops7 ай бұрын

    My covert ex husband is an expert at lying and gas lighting and controlling. And boy does he ever have a vindictive side. But I’ve fought like hell to get myself back. And I’m starting to finally like myself again.

  • @HELLo_tHERE_plAyLists

    @HELLo_tHERE_plAyLists

    5 күн бұрын

    That people may have no idea the magnitude of what you just said…I wonder if I did the right thing and I tell others, if you suspect, shut up and run. But I did and so do you, but those who celebrate early will end up realizing, it’s their party and you’ll cry if they want you too. Congrats for overcoming the animosity, depravity, gaslighting, and borderline criminal behavior of the narcissist who is discarded. Luckily, if life is the Game of Thrones, they’d be an uneventful character gone after season 2. You made the finale.

  • @teresaalvarado3018
    @teresaalvarado30186 ай бұрын

    The final curtain for a narcissist is when they can't go back. Nothing they can do to change the past.

  • @lordfreerealestate8302
    @lordfreerealestate83025 ай бұрын

    It's like those estranged parents who are shocked their kids won't talk to them anymore. Or shocked their partner left them after all the abuse. They act like victims when the real victim decide they won't take it anymore.

  • @robinantonio8870

    @robinantonio8870

    4 ай бұрын

    My mother constantly my entire life told me everything I wanted to do would fail miserably, despite me telling her every time it made me feel like killing myself. Finally I stopped telling her anything. Now she complains I'm " secretive" because I never tell her anything. FGS, connect the dots ,woman.

  • @bereal6590

    @bereal6590

    19 күн бұрын

    My mother is a master at pretending she wants to 'help', so she can sit in her rescuer martyrdom and then everyone else is ungrateful. When that doesn't work she is passive aggressive and word salad peppered with nasty. I always complied and agreed. Now I'm not doing so, the grudges and venom are seeping out. I'm very ill but in her head im some kind of malingerer

  • @wayneelliott1180
    @wayneelliott11807 ай бұрын

    Mine didn't walk away despite my indifference. She stalked me relentlessly. Then launched a vicious smear campaign. It continues 5 years later. I haven't acknowledged her at all for four years. Her rage and hate is immeasurable.

  • @dlewis895

    @dlewis895

    5 ай бұрын

    FINDING A THERAPIST AND TYPE OF 12 STEP PROGRAM CAN HELP US GROW LEARN DEVELOP OURSELVES AND SHARE SUPPORT KINDNESS CARING ACCEPTANCE...

  • @wayneelliott1180

    @wayneelliott1180

    5 ай бұрын

    @@dlewis895 I don’t need a therapist. The predator does.

  • @karadiberlino

    @karadiberlino

    3 ай бұрын

    @@wayneelliott1180Well said! I say the same… 💯😁👌🏼

  • @patriciafry8634

    @patriciafry8634

    3 ай бұрын

    Try a woman my husband dated and moved on from, having discovered “a dark side”, 50 years ago! She, two husbands and a somewhat failed career later, is still after me.

  • @L-yl9kx

    @L-yl9kx

    Ай бұрын

    @@wayneelliott1180maybe for emotional support and possible evidence if you need to take it to court, but you are right about the other person needing ti.

  • @marilyntoews9331
    @marilyntoews93313 ай бұрын

    I’ve realized now that I’ve had narcissists in my life for 60 years and didn’t realize what was going on. I wish I would have learned all this sooner. It may have saved me mountains of grief frustration and anger. One has literally destroyed my family and one has destroyed my in-law family. I’ve seen relationships completely severed because of them. One sister in law had to sever her own relationship with her parents because the the narcissist sister had so convinced their parents of her own delusions. It’s so beyond sad.

  • @Jay-ql4gp
    @Jay-ql4gp4 күн бұрын

    My mom is a narcissist. I was the scapegoat. I've since gone no contact. And the people who tell me, "But that's your mom!" are legion. One time at a family gathering she was complaining once again about how bad "I" was and how "I" was always doing something. Her cousin asked why, and then began to ask more and more pertinent questions. And she became more and more uncomfortable because her cousin was getting closer and closer to the truth. It caught her completely off guard. Because she wasn't wanting solutions, she was wanting sympathy.

  • @paraaapara

    @paraaapara

    Күн бұрын

    This is sad. Wish it were better

  • @suzannebunbury2961
    @suzannebunbury29617 ай бұрын

    Yes!!!!! More authenticity and narc repellent training, please ❤️ You’re a treasure

  • @Pookabee

    @Pookabee

    7 ай бұрын

    But he just said that narcissists think their special and deserve to be seen as special. So now I'm confused.

  • @-.-E-.-

    @-.-E-.-

    7 ай бұрын

    I second this!!

  • @suzannebunbury2961

    @suzannebunbury2961

    7 ай бұрын

    @@Pookabee they *think* they should be treated as special, uniquely special and amazing, superior to everyone else - that’s where their prideful attitude and entitled attitudes come from 🦋

  • @jeffreyjackson5229
    @jeffreyjackson5229Ай бұрын

    "Looking for vulnerabilities"- I saw it immediately when she tried it. I put on my best pokerface and kept it moving.

  • @walkietalkie6679

    @walkietalkie6679

    26 күн бұрын

    After I broke the trauma bond I saw it clearly and the mirroring... so creepy

  • @sandycares2995
    @sandycares29957 ай бұрын

    My experience in a nursing home of a female narcissist was hiding cups, little plates and cutlery. Roughly 20 of each hidden in the back of drawers and a cubby hole. I believe she was frustrated on trying to make certain staff members her source. Upon discovering this I piled everything in her lap in her wheelchair and wheeled her to the kitchen. They were shocked and said they had been missing these articles. She never changed expression, batted an eye or apologized. Her only reaction initially was an expression that said " shoot I got caught". She was my mother.

  • @randy_cbc8811

    @randy_cbc8811

    6 ай бұрын

    That's sad, Sandy. 😥

  • @patriciafry8634

    @patriciafry8634

    3 ай бұрын

    I was once in charge of a school scholarship auction. One mother told others and school officials that I was not letting her participate. I had to explain that I had caught her hiding donation slips and donations, but it was a painful experience because I suffered a lot of disapproval.

  • @L-yl9kx

    @L-yl9kx

    Ай бұрын

    Jesus christ 😂

  • @TheBigdog868
    @TheBigdog8687 ай бұрын

    They're so weak. I truly feel sorry for them. From a safe distance, that is.

  • @jackilynpyzocha662

    @jackilynpyzocha662

    Ай бұрын

    I don't like, love, respect or obey my narc dad, he acts entitled to it. (fawning over him, that won't happen!)

  • @AnimosityIncarnate

    @AnimosityIncarnate

    3 күн бұрын

    Projecting??

  • @hazelmarieb9934
    @hazelmarieb99347 ай бұрын

    Not my most recent discard but definitely the most usual reason I was devalued and discarded: I was respecting her boundaries too much. Yes. That. The cognitive dissonance is strong with narcissists. They WILL find a reason.

  • @poison_plays

    @poison_plays

    7 ай бұрын

    Wow, that is some backward thinking. How dare you treat her with respect, apparently? 🤦‍♀️ I’m guessing she didn’t respect your boundaries the same way? That’s been my experience with narcissists who think they understand boundaries-they don’t, especially anyone’s but their own.

  • @fookthenarcopath

    @fookthenarcopath

    3 ай бұрын

    😂😂😂 my recent discard was because "I am a great partner, but I didn't make him breakfast after he complained about work related stress"

  • @jeffreyjackson5229
    @jeffreyjackson52297 ай бұрын

    She, my new work colleague, definitely has tried different tactics, and my verbal and nonverbal communication has remained the same: "It's not going to happen."

  • @rockstarofredondo

    @rockstarofredondo

    7 ай бұрын

    Same thing was happening at my most recent job. I just walked leaving her high and dry. Not going to be around that.

  • @tanisharichardson4049
    @tanisharichardson40494 ай бұрын

    When they can't control you they try to control how others view you

  • @genevawhite3178

    @genevawhite3178

    5 сағат бұрын

    We are currently having a trial in the US where Trump is shown by his actions to be a narcissist.

  • @bereal6590
    @bereal659019 күн бұрын

    That's it EXACTLY, they don't really care, they just care that they can't control anymore. They conveniently forget every nasty thing they've said to you and become the consummate victim!

  • @Z1nny
    @Z1nny7 ай бұрын

    Yes please, I'm interested in authenticity as a narc-repellant 🙋‍♀️

  • @lauradelregno99

    @lauradelregno99

    7 ай бұрын

    😂 narc repellent 😅😅

  • @moirosalina

    @moirosalina

    7 ай бұрын

    Thanks for that, I would've spelled it the same way, now I have learned something.

  • @GuitarMatt

    @GuitarMatt

    Ай бұрын

    Good luck with that MISCONCEPTION because they love to target the AUTHENTIC especially until it's almost too late. (That's when the mask comes off)

  • @mrsqueakthecat.8061
    @mrsqueakthecat.80616 ай бұрын

    I went though all of this when I stood up to the narc family members in my life. Once it became obvious that their lying, gaslighting, projectionism, deflection and general shityness were going to get them called out and even teased by me to their faces, they just gave up. Things went from them coming over and threatening and harassing me to my face to now they will crawl over broken glass to avoid interacting with me anywhere. I'm fine with that. It was their decision, not mine.

  • @bradyryan5105

    @bradyryan5105

    4 ай бұрын

    Your family is better than mine; mine resorts to physical hostility

  • @mrsqueakthecat.8061

    @mrsqueakthecat.8061

    4 ай бұрын

    @@bradyryan5105 I think mine would have gone there too, but being I am younger and in far better shape I think they knew it would've brought about a life-long deserved beat down they wouldn't have walked away from.

  • @jackilynpyzocha662

    @jackilynpyzocha662

    Ай бұрын

    My dad needs a lecture from me! I won't waste my time on him. My win!

  • @supereight9221

    @supereight9221

    4 күн бұрын

    My father gave me brain damage from slapping me as hard as he could for defending myself because my brother strangled me because he didn't like the answer I gave while he was harassing me while I was eating dinner alone.

  • @KeepQuestioning243
    @KeepQuestioning2437 ай бұрын

    This is a good one. I see some signs that the narcissist person is realizing that she doesn't control me - actually hasn't for way longer than she understood. Will be interesting how this video matches up with what I am observing!

  • @stephenatkinson2333
    @stephenatkinson23337 ай бұрын

    In other words, narcissistic people are insane, disillusioned, sadly twisted, lost souls. A seriously mentally injured being. 😢

  • @jeanettecook1088

    @jeanettecook1088

    23 күн бұрын

    That all may be, but they're still responsible for their behavior, and the harm they do to others.

  • @stephenatkinson2333

    @stephenatkinson2333

    23 күн бұрын

    @@jeanettecook1088 no. They're not. Are you the judge... no.

  • @stephenatkinson2333

    @stephenatkinson2333

    23 күн бұрын

    @jeanettecook1088 no, they're not. They are forgiven. Like everyone else.

  • @future469

    @future469

    12 күн бұрын

    No they are NOT forgiven, unless they have excepted Jesus into their lives, and confess their sin! They must except the gift of salvation…..

  • @future469

    @future469

    12 күн бұрын

    They must repent ❤

  • @lindalarson5468
    @lindalarson54682 ай бұрын

    ..."It's often worth discerning, the change in the person and the change in their tactics." 4:46 That is so profound.

  • @privateprivate8366
    @privateprivate83667 ай бұрын

    This video is my recently-deceased neighbor’s eulogy. It was further validated, when another neighbor was told, by the woman cleaning out her apartment, that family hadn’t wanted to be bothered with her, because she was too demanding. Something I’d learned, when she couldn’t make me be her free caregiver, with tactics I was impervious to, including a sudden pattern of package theft. I guess she was surprised to see the police at her door.

  • @carpathianken

    @carpathianken

    7 ай бұрын

    That petty little manipulative thieving cow. I can just imagine her victim feigning "I'm the worlds best neighbour that would never steal from anyone" excuses to the Police when they arrived to question her.

  • @privateprivate8366

    @privateprivate8366

    7 ай бұрын

    @@carpathianken I still consider her a human being, in expediently-declining health. That, in part, her behavior was a cry for help. Still, her approach to me, was textbook narcissistic and I saw a few things I didn’t want to be bothered with, on the heels of going no contact with my narcissistic mother. I feel sorry. Not for behavior I knew to protect myself from. But because, what I garnered from what she told me, when we spoke for a brief period of time, was a life that, in both nature and nurture, of lack thereof, led to a miserable existence and early death. She was 63 when she died. About 6 years older than myself. But looked 10 years older. I’m not at all bind with empathy though. Pretty sure she had full intentions of absolutely turning me into a slave. That during the 3 years before she told me, “I took care of my mother and you can take care of me,” she sat, watched, made decisions for me in her mind, decided that because I was single, no kids, had enough empathy to even walk my cat and maybe race might’ve been a factor, that I had no choice, but to be an appliance. I can only say that she was fortunate, in the fact that I said no. My own mother found out, the hard way, that I do not take abuse. I will walk out on you, like you’re a piece of furniture first.

  • @carpathianken

    @carpathianken

    7 ай бұрын

    @@privateprivate8366 I respect your insight into understanding why your neighbour stooped to such lousy behaviour & your willingness to still have a caring view towards her , but I can't help but feel that considering that your neighbour had the ability to alienate her entire family that she must have been a genuinely toxic individual, even in the past. In my experience families generally stick together even through extremely troubling times & will only wash their hands of someone when they perpetually feel used & abused in a parasitic way by them. Sorry to hear that you had to sever all ties with your Mother, of all people we should be able to trust & rely on our own mother to nurture & support us when we're vulnerable & be a decent role model .

  • @privateprivate8366

    @privateprivate8366

    7 ай бұрын

    @@carpathianken narcissism can be a set of complex perspectives. Much the same as it’s said that one person’s hero, is another person’s terrorist, many see me as the abusive narcissist or at least, an indifferent, disinterested daughter, to a mother who “undoubtedly” loved me. That I both have and deserve the same fate, as my neighbor, which is isolation, because we must be one and the same. Especially as I “appeared” indifferent to her plight. Self preservation and protection can look exactly like that. Difference is, I’m not going after anyone, with nefarious intent. Life is precious, for everyone, even when they don’t feel so, whether for themselves or others. It is painful to have to protect yourself, from a person who, to a point, you can see in 3D and even what life may have been for them, as a child. More so, with your actual parent, who you thought you had a symbiotic relationship with and hoped to be with, through the winter of their life. So, some might say, “Well, your family got rid of you, like your neighbor’s family got rid of her. No, I went no contact from my family, to protect myself and them.

  • @carpathianken

    @carpathianken

    7 ай бұрын

    @@privateprivate8366 Could it be that that's what makes a narcissist's impact on us so doubly damaging because the narcissist can create an image to the outside world that they are our & everybody else's hero but in reality they are seemingly evil incarnate because we know their true character & what they're capable of? My psychologist told me that my mother is so toxic that I'm going to have to sever all ties with her. I NEVER considered doing that because the abuse she inflicted on me was lifelong neglect, physical, verbal & then financial abuse & I never knew any different & I stupidly figured families always stick together.(Of which I have no doubt the narcissist knows & they then take full advantage of) When I started earning money she badgered me to pay off her mortgage, which I did (because all her family with equally low standards as hers compelled me to) when I should have been investing in my own future & starting some positive momentum in my own property rather than being her cash cow. I'm like you, I don't have any malicious intent for my mother either but I can't continue to feel like a glutton for punishment so as a protective measure I've removed her from my life.

  • @JESUS.IS.GOD.777
    @JESUS.IS.GOD.77712 сағат бұрын

    My only parent is an extreme narc. Ive never been able to express my feelings. Bc they will have a complete mental breakdown as soon as i say "im not being treated poorly anymore". All they hear is "im not living under your control anymore" and THAT is all they care about. Not your feelings or situation. Not your health. Mental and physical. It ALL revolves around Them and what They want. What you want doesnt matter At All.

  • @fastrivers812
    @fastrivers8125 ай бұрын

    In my case, with a therapist's help, I stopped getting angry and yelling at my wife when she would mischaracterize me when we would argue. She was trying to control me through my anger and when that stopped she went behind my back telling lies to people at church about me. She claimed I was abusive and these flying monkeys believed it despite the fact that I could prove in most cases that she was lying. They STILL believed her. When I told the elders of the church that I was leaving, then she couldn't control me through them and the shit hit the fan. She tried claiming I abused her and I am now facing charges. I should've taken people's advice a few months ago to get out but I didn't want to disrupt the kids. Now she's trying to punish me by using them. It's sick.

  • @supereight9221

    @supereight9221

    4 күн бұрын

    Are the elders all fools there?

  • @user-qv9nw1dq2f
    @user-qv9nw1dq2f3 ай бұрын

    Authenticity and honesty are great tools to overcome narcissistic abuse. Thank you Darren 😊

  • @sburns2421
    @sburns24217 ай бұрын

    @4:30. Experienced Narcs will find a way to make their targets choose after love bombing: either them or everyone else (and thus be deprived of their affection). When my mother died, my emotionally devastated father immediately entered into a relationship with an obvious Narcissistic woman (she split the families of her two previous marriages into her few fans and many enemies). When she knew I wasn't buying one second of her BS she immediately manipulated him and we are effectively estranged for the past four years. My brother is willing to tolerate her just pick up whatever scraps of a relationship with our father she is willing to let him have. I warned him a few months after my mother's passing that his choices were going to create a prison for him. She is apparently the warden, and doesn't want visiting hours. Hate is a strong word, but perhaps appropriate in my feelings for her. But also for him on some level. It has been heart-breaking to experience and makes me question everything I have ever thought about him.

  • @anniemac7545
    @anniemac75456 ай бұрын

    Authentic people are prey for the narcissist......to be their scapegoat

  • @rosalynmoyle3766
    @rosalynmoyle37667 ай бұрын

    Well said. Resisting isn't easy. I like the being authentic. What I may also interpret as being true to oneself.

  • @Marshadow69
    @Marshadow697 ай бұрын

    Calm, assertive, concise and focused - you capture it so well. I have listened to you saying that phrase several times. You deliver this message with such lovely mellifluous tones. Hard not to be inspired. Number 7 would be paradise on earth, even if short lived.

  • @imnoel8214
    @imnoel82147 ай бұрын

    Yes, I would also love to learn more about authenticity and how it repels narcissists!

  • @dlewis895

    @dlewis895

    5 ай бұрын

    SELF CARE. SELF PARENTING IS HEALING AND PEACEFUL 12 STEP PROGRAMS ARE GREAT HELP FOR GROWING UP AND HEALING ACCEPTANCE

  • @jackilynpyzocha662

    @jackilynpyzocha662

    Ай бұрын

    I'm going to use an analogy of a tortilla chips, salsa and queso; I am authentic. He (Dad, the narcissist) fake!

  • @KeepQuestioning243
    @KeepQuestioning2437 ай бұрын

    Great video, Darren. Yes, I'd love to hear about authenticity. I struggle with emotional dysregulation, am fairly often not the calm person you talked about - at least not yet. But I highly value honesty and more and more doing the right thing over the easy thing and also being authentic. I suspect these are pretty common values of people recovering after being brought up by a narcissistic parent.

  • @user1.8.2.

    @user1.8.2.

    7 ай бұрын

    Yup at least for me.

  • @Alex-vj6wr

    @Alex-vj6wr

    6 ай бұрын

    Very common after being abused

  • @mrsongman
    @mrsongman7 ай бұрын

    "I always thought you would be really fair if we broke up...I never really knew you." aka "I always thought that you would do, think and say exactly what I want and expect you to. Anything that falls below this gold standard is unacceptable."

  • @ForestTiefling

    @ForestTiefling

    7 ай бұрын

    and then YOU're the bitter one for not wanting to "stay friends" or going no contact. Boio, I'd rather get a restraining order than continue being harassed psychologically that way! This situationship was perhaps worse than the "cult" he assumedly had "saved" me from, but apparently I had to learn the lesson (about narcs and lovebombing/hoovering) either way. And am grateful for it, oh yes. Like honestly: Don't "teach" someone fallacies and critical thinking if you can't deal with them being applied to yourself as well? Lmao!

  • @cassiebennet4262

    @cassiebennet4262

    7 ай бұрын

    My sister's husband is divorcing her and this is exactly what I imagine he actually thinks. She is refusing to be absolute doormat without her own thoughts and feelings and he won't tolerate it. Well I hope he's "happy" with his next supply until he isn't. 😡

  • @mrsongman

    @mrsongman

    7 ай бұрын

    Hopefully the look back and laugh stage isn't too far off. It's usually closer than it seems. @@cassiebennet4262

  • @Ringworld2
    @Ringworld24 ай бұрын

    My first childhood best friend was a pathological liar and narcissist / manipulator. He screwed me up for sure to some degree but im grateful that i was exposed to this toxic behavior at a young age because its allowed me to counter them as adults. Like another commenter said, its hilarious as an adult to see the look on a narcissist's face when they realize they are face to face with someone that knows exactly what they are and every trick in the book they are about to try to use. My sister also unfortunately started showing narcissistic traits in her late teen years and i was already well educated on how to deal with them at that point. She is in her mid 30's now and has very few people left under her control that believe her victim stories.

  • @RobShuttleworth
    @RobShuttleworth7 ай бұрын

    Had 2 different workshop landlords, (7+ yrs each, as a tenant) they both did the same things... targeted my resources, wasted my time with nonsense, locked me out for imaginary debts, denied me access to my vehicle and equipment and made my possessions vanish.

  • @Ellelilly8666
    @Ellelilly86666 ай бұрын

    A whole family of them run by a ringleader next door to me. Extreme bullies.95% of time i completely ignore and trying to work on the other 5%. It annoys them when they dont get a reaction from me but the no reaction brings me peace inside. 🕊️ Thanks for what you do Darren Magee 💜

  • @clairemcmahon9392
    @clairemcmahon93927 ай бұрын

    This video is excellent, full of great info and straight to the point. I walked away fro. My Ex Eddie on July after 7 years together I went no contact. I was so sick of his psychological abuse. I never knew why Narcissism was until a few months back but I do now! He is an abuser of women and a predator. It frightens me to think and know as I’ve expressed it, that there are people walking around this Earth with a mask on to manipulate hurt lie cheat and destroy another Human being they profess to Love and care about. They are empty shells void of any kind of healthy emotions. They are vile.

  • @aleciawimer8506

    @aleciawimer8506

    27 күн бұрын

    Don’t ignore red flags. Have iron clad boundaries.

  • @LilacSnowBun
    @LilacSnowBun7 ай бұрын

    I’d love to hear more about authenticity and narcs. Fantastic video, thank you!!!

  • @user-fk8rb8ue5h
    @user-fk8rb8ue5h7 ай бұрын

    Narcissist that I went out with, once I really challenged her, she slung her hook and found someone else.

  • @rockstarofredondo

    @rockstarofredondo

    7 ай бұрын

    You dodged a bullet. Congratulations.

  • @elizabethkeller6040
    @elizabethkeller60407 ай бұрын

    In 1992-1994, as a 30yr old single female, working #2 jobs, living in the country, joined the State Rodeo , my bucket was full. Forced to take in sister, her two boys #4×'s in those 2 yrs, I expressed , 'why am I the only one taking this on'? (I was never asked. Just came home to them all moved in). Was told by another sister,''Stop being so selfish. We all have kids and jobs , you have no one to take care of but yourself'. Forward to 1998, I became pregnant with my son, at 35yrs old, this same sister said to me , ' I hope you are not going to burden us with this baby, we've all raised our kids and onto a new stage in our lives'. I am #7 of #8 kids. Baby of #5 girls. Was shocking to the system then. Now. THANK GOD that all happened, kept my son and I away from them. Ya. Not tight with any of them.

  • @spaideman7850
    @spaideman7850Ай бұрын

    my malignant narc mom threw anybody she could recruit against me, didn't work. if she knew i had communicated with any of my relative, she will visit that relative and start smear campaign on me. Omg, what have i done in my previous life to deserve this? absolutely horrible.

  • @philosophy_schilling
    @philosophy_schilling6 ай бұрын

    This is a helpful articulation: Be a person that others can't control or manipulated. I love that. Thank you so much. I would love to know more about authenticity from your perspective. Thank you.

  • @DarrenFMagee

    @DarrenFMagee

    6 ай бұрын

    I covered it in a live stream recently if you’d find that interesting?

  • @philosophy_schilling

    @philosophy_schilling

    6 ай бұрын

    @@DarrenFMagee Thank you so much! I will look for it. Be well.

  • @sararobertson1872
    @sararobertson187222 сағат бұрын

    I think maybe one way to identify a narcissist is if they shower you with unwanted attention and compliments. They are probably giving you what they think you want because it's what they want.

  • @SimoneJassmann-jr5bl
    @SimoneJassmann-jr5bl7 ай бұрын

    In narcissistic family’s they use a will as leverage although they have no intention of you being in it just away to own you and take it away if you don’t do everything they want including selling out to evil

  • @mvbigmagic4048

    @mvbigmagic4048

    Ай бұрын

    Yup. When my mother realized I didn't want anything in the house or her money, she started restricting phone calls to my dying dad. They will do ANYTHING to control someone. Since my dad's death January 27, 2024, we are BOTH no longer co-dependent. I am no-contact with my mother.

  • @jeffreyjackson5229
    @jeffreyjackson52297 ай бұрын

    "Responsible for their own undoing"- Correct. But still think that's "it's" not that bad. In other words, their mentality is, "Yes, but..." or "I know, but..."

  • @jackilynpyzocha662
    @jackilynpyzocha662Ай бұрын

    Dad tells me that he's with others. A private thing(funeral), that only certain people will be there, I am excluded. What a jerk!

  • @apfelstrudel714
    @apfelstrudel7147 ай бұрын

    Yep, it all lines up with my MIL’s behavior, and I am outside of her control, now that I have gone no-contact. I learn so much from this channel that I use to manage effectively my interactions with her. Thank you!

  • @VioletMcBrideRN
    @VioletMcBrideRN6 ай бұрын

    Great video, thank you!.. I have a DIL that has gone a campaign to target me because I had a great relationship with my son. First she isolated him from his very good childhood friends, then she moved on to me and the rest of my son's side of the family. Her weapons of choice are silent treatment, bullying, withholding of affection, triangulation and social media smear campaigns. Stay Healthy and Authentic everyone!

  • @izawaniek2568
    @izawaniek25687 ай бұрын

    Thank you Darren. Your description is Spot on! 😊

  • @beverlystover3987
    @beverlystover39877 ай бұрын

    I would like to learn more about authenticity! I think I gave mine away to many narcissistic folks in my life’s journey.

  • @dashathehorsegirl7943
    @dashathehorsegirl79437 ай бұрын

    Thank you. Like always, absolutely great video.

  • @yumnom69420
    @yumnom694205 ай бұрын

    More of these scenario explanations would be awesome! I love this

  • @janebond4175
    @janebond41754 ай бұрын

    Yes would love to hear more about overcoming a narcissist through authenticity!

  • @TheeyeOftruth-yx2np
    @TheeyeOftruth-yx2np5 ай бұрын

    Thank you so much for this Darren, An eye opener, Absolutely tremendous, Peace, love, Respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe 🌝😘🕊🦄🐉👽🌷🌹☘😍🌚🌟😇🎨🖼👁😆⭐🌈🌌💚❤💛💙💜😃

  • @user-er1nn9kn8b
    @user-er1nn9kn8b7 ай бұрын

    Such a helpful video - thank you 🙏🏻. You describe my husband’s behaviours so accurately

  • @waqarsaleem1412ah
    @waqarsaleem1412ah7 ай бұрын

    Hey, thanks Darren, for this video and the other videos on your channel sir.

  • @user-ty7yu1bj9l
    @user-ty7yu1bj9l7 ай бұрын

    I really love and appreciate your videos. Thank you.

  • @jvb6547
    @jvb65473 ай бұрын

    Thanks for so much great info. Yes, I would love to have more information on how authenticity can be effective against their manipulation.

  • @psalm1197
    @psalm11977 ай бұрын

    This was one of my questions. thank you😀

  • @harmonizedigital.
    @harmonizedigital.3 ай бұрын

    I feel bad for narcissistic people. They are truly trapped.

  • @SaarLeestMee
    @SaarLeestMee7 ай бұрын

    Thank you ❤

  • @gobears6487
    @gobears64877 ай бұрын

    Darren, you clearly know my father! 👍 p.s. yes to more on authentic behaviour

  • @michellehill718
    @michellehill7187 ай бұрын

    Excellent teaching video! Thank you very much!

  • @MarylnBowan-vg7te
    @MarylnBowan-vg7te4 ай бұрын

    (FACTS OVA FEELINGS). Narcissism and Codependency r not Personality Disorders they r Adaptive Relationship Strategies

  • @SimoneJassmann-jr5bl
    @SimoneJassmann-jr5bl7 ай бұрын

    Thank you again for awesome video

  • @christinemanzella
    @christinemanzella3 ай бұрын

    Hi Darren😊 man did you just help empower me...life changing information for me

  • @shannsss4923
    @shannsss49235 ай бұрын

    They need others more than other need them! Bang on!

  • @dennisryan6370
    @dennisryan63707 ай бұрын

    Truth equals Authentic False equals Narcissist Jesus IS Truth Satan is The Head Narcissist! TRUTH ALWAYS WINS😇

  • @mj3845
    @mj38454 ай бұрын

    Really interesting information that I can identify in a family member. Thank you.

  • @SuperPassionflower
    @SuperPassionflower7 ай бұрын

    thank you!!!!

  • @vantom9836
    @vantom98364 ай бұрын

    100% agree with authenticity part. Being authentic seems to trigger them and they hate it. They live fake lives based around false masks and selves so they have to try and undermine and disrupt those who have a more authentic sense of self. Easier said than done though. Sometimes introspecting is hard for anyone and takes commitment. I feel we all have parts of ourselves we do not like at times. But the more accepting we become of ourselves the less control they'll have over us and their sabotaging will eventually fail and they'll back off.

  • @suzannebunbury2961
    @suzannebunbury29617 ай бұрын

    Thank you! ❤️👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @LC-qi5ff
    @LC-qi5ff7 ай бұрын

    Have you ever heard of a (covert?) narcissist going into isolation and/or attempting suicide because they cant stand that they are narcissistic?

  • @CoddelSobers

    @CoddelSobers

    7 ай бұрын

    They are the worst kind. Every story they tell is of them being a victim or a savior.

  • @MJ-qb5ph

    @MJ-qb5ph

    7 ай бұрын

    Their victims may well contemplate suicide!

  • @johnmills34YT

    @johnmills34YT

    7 ай бұрын

    yes its for attention

  • @ralph4370

    @ralph4370

    7 ай бұрын

    my ex was a covert type. She did a reverse discard on me. But I reversed the card and made her breakup with me at the last minute. Months later I get a voicemail from the local County Mental Health Services. Seems my ex was reaching out at her rock bottom moment. When I met her she lost her job and stuck it out with her. When I lost my job she walked out on me. So I only assume as to the why she got there but hey .....karma?

  • @joannageorge7305

    @joannageorge7305

    7 ай бұрын

    I doubt it. Though they will use prolonged silent treatment as manipulation, and equally threaten self-harm, even suicide to coerce people into compliance. They're too full of themselves to actually do it.

  • @camdelg1
    @camdelg17 ай бұрын

    As Narc survivor, I'd love to know more about how authenticity helps to get rid of them.

  • @dlewis895

    @dlewis895

    5 ай бұрын

    SELF CARE

  • @tcancella7286
    @tcancella7286Ай бұрын

    Would love the hear more about authenticity vs narcissism

  • @Poppy-yx8js
    @Poppy-yx8js8 сағат бұрын

    The cyber bullying hackers who continue to put content into my account about jealousy & envy are are actually telling on themselves. Normal people who don’t experience these feelings don’t harp on a perceived slight or insult. They would just laugh and go about their business. Someone that engages in 6 years of sadistic abuse and mockery is so fragile they would actually consider k*lling the person who pointed out their insecurities.

  • @jeffreyjackson5229
    @jeffreyjackson5229Ай бұрын

    "Their sense of self is at stake"- I detected that immediately with her actions after I established my boundaries.

  • @artimasartimas4515
    @artimasartimas45157 ай бұрын

    Narcissists are like roaches, they never chill alone .

  • @sadiestoltzfus9798
    @sadiestoltzfus97982 ай бұрын

    My narcissistic brother can't stand me because he knows he cannot control which makes him angry. Then he manipulates my family into believing it's me not him who is the problem. Sometimes you just have to walk away from the abuse. And the people who accept and make excuses for their behavior.

  • @sunshineproductions4122
    @sunshineproductions41227 ай бұрын

    If the catalyst is shame: grew up poor for example - saying the "right thing" get him/her to understand reality. "Of course it must have been so difficult growing up with a single mother who had to work two jobs. You were lonely and you wanted to have your mom there to see all your achievements, so I'm sure you understand that I'm not your mom and punishing me by isolating our child doesn't heal your lifetime of pain & disappointment. "

  • @ForestTiefling

    @ForestTiefling

    7 ай бұрын

    the thing is, there is no understanding! Please be safe, also for the sake of your child, if you go too deep into shame+pain country, you might trigger physicality...

  • @moirosalina

    @moirosalina

    7 ай бұрын

    My guess is it won't help, because for that the person would have to accept that at one point in their life they were vulnarable and helpless. Those feelings, I believe, is what they are running from.

  • @dlewis895

    @dlewis895

    5 ай бұрын

    TALK FOREVER NEVER GETS ANYWHERE NEVER HOPE YOU HEAR THIS AN ESCAPE .ITS ONE WAY THEIR WAY WITH ENDLESS HELL ENDLESS

  • @mamitasilva
    @mamitasilva2 ай бұрын

    Thanks❤

  • @dinahnicest6525
    @dinahnicest65253 ай бұрын

    The sheep dipping was completely ineffective because she refused to enter or even visit my world. All her flying monkeys flew around in her own flock. She controlled my access to her friends, and I never found any of them to be worth fighting her for. I just went back to my own friends who barely even knew of her existence.

  • @larasudomlak7128
    @larasudomlak71287 ай бұрын

    Yes Darren, tactical withdrawal. 🎯

  • @SaritWorld
    @SaritWorld7 ай бұрын

    Are you sure you are not talking about my narcissist government? Spot on! Welcome to Israel.

  • @brendawarner5415

    @brendawarner5415

    2 ай бұрын

    Thanks for expressing that . I am angry that the Israeli government is punishing all Palestinians for what Hamas did. I am glad that all Israeli people do not support that.

  • @MT-tx7bu
    @MT-tx7bu7 ай бұрын

    They remind me of a huge net. They try and catch as many admirers as possible, suppliers, really They will negatively talk about others. They will make you think they are the kindest, most helpful, most intelligent, most humorous, most victimized, most interesting person and IF you should not agree with it, you are boring and cast out. I say, get cast out. It's peaceful waters.

  • @beautypablotamarini7315
    @beautypablotamarini731525 күн бұрын

    And after all, sadistic rage turn into beating in head.

  • @elainesnoek4852
    @elainesnoek48526 ай бұрын

    Please talk about a Narcissist towards there children. Thank you so much for your insight...

  • @DarrenFMagee

    @DarrenFMagee

    6 ай бұрын

    I have a playlist on narcissistic families if there’s anything there you’d find interesting?

  • @POS3278
    @POS3278Күн бұрын

    They will try to find out what is important to you. Then they will attack in this area. So don't ever reveal what's important to you if you know they have narcissistic tendencies. I revealed that my son's interactions with the narc is concerning (important) to me by asking the narc to involve me in decisions and advice to our sons. Guess what he does now? I need not answer for those of you who are tracking with me. He does the opposite ON PURPOSE when he knows I won't be able to overhear. How do I know this? I ask my sons later. Why does he do this? Because he knows I know about him and won't give him supply anymore other than polite superficial interactions. At least the smear campaign hasn't happened yet with him and my sons. I know I need to be prepared for this. I need to trust and depend on Jesus and focus on having a good relationship with my sons.

  • @SigmaEmpataLevante
    @SigmaEmpataLevante7 ай бұрын

    Magical thinking drives them. All narcissists have a belief system.

  • @deborahalden5312
    @deborahalden53127 ай бұрын

    So true.

  • @thaghrahmedia4468
    @thaghrahmedia44687 ай бұрын

    soooooo trueeee!

  • @Notbothered1
    @Notbothered1Ай бұрын

    They run away.

  • @cynthiachristiansen8803
    @cynthiachristiansen88034 ай бұрын

    Wow, exactly how I'm treated. I have no friends, and are considered the narcissist. He pushes me to expressing rage to prove how horrible I am to him. My children agree with hiss assessment of me. 😢

  • @shihtzuluvrtwo6386
    @shihtzuluvrtwo63864 ай бұрын

    You just described my mother in law.

  • @joanb8489
    @joanb84893 ай бұрын

    Authenticity explains why my narcissist insisted on trying to control me.

  • @kathy2693
    @kathy2693Күн бұрын

    I’m an empath married 50years to a covert narcissist. Question, is there anyone else between these two? I’ve given up on my marriage and he is acting like everything is ok in front of family but he’s so miserable and I can’t help it but I just don’t care anymore.

  • @stephenatkinson2333
    @stephenatkinson23337 ай бұрын

    They bow down to them. Then they mirror them. Whilst desperately trying to figure out a different approach to regain their control. Poor weak idiots.

  • @bumblebee8416
    @bumblebee84167 ай бұрын

    I would certainly be interested in hearing what you say about authenticity ... and perhaps include your views on the much bandied around, 'my truth' and 'your truth' and 'The Truth'. ‘My/your truth’ seems to me, to be what a person chooses to believe about something they experience, and it is their perception of that experience that becomes ‘my truth’. It is a choice. Belief, perception and choice can be changed. And maybe ‘my/your truth’ can also be a person choosing a certain perception conjured up from fantasy, as a narcissist might do, and none of it has anything to do with truth at all?? A narcissist might believe that they can lie, confuse and manipulate others. So, lies can be a person’s truth too?? Ambiguity! And it’s also a choice, a belief and perception which can be changed. Perhaps THE Truth doesn’t have experience, perception, belief, nor any choice connected with it, and it cannot be changed ... it just IS. Darren F Magee - you always make me think! And muse. And ponder. And contemplate. And search for understanding. Thank you.

  • @writeousone8749

    @writeousone8749

    7 ай бұрын

    Excellent analogy bumblebee! Best wishes on your road to recovery as on head on mine

  • @amyj.4992
    @amyj.49924 ай бұрын

    They are accusing me of narcissism now while smearing my name 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣