On my channel I discuss topics related to mental health awareness, relationships, personality and human behaviour.
I am a practicing counsellor/psychotherapist and clinical supervisor. I have experience working with a wide range of issues such as anxiety, bereavement, addiction, trauma, relationship difficulties and various diagnosed disorders . In recent years I have been supporting more people who have experienced many different types of abuse and neglect stemming from childhood, the workplace and in their relationships, and helping them move towards recovery.
Most of the topics I cover come from suggestions from viewers. Please keep the questions general though as I can't give advice or answer questions about real people and specific situations.
This channel is intended solely for educational and information purposes and is not intended as a substitute for support from a mental health professional.
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It's been over 3 years and I'm still fighting for my truth. Judge ignored 300 pages of evidence (call logs, counseling app data, a video of her striking herself 4 days after she claimed our "relationship" ended. Etc.... I WILL SUCCEED IN HOLDING HER AND THIS JUDGE ACCOUNTABLE!
After a 6 years of legal battle the day of judgement is nigh. My ex had started a divorce in 2018 with an unscrupulous lawyer behind my back to fleece me from my savings through an extreme divorce allowance and our child. The request was filed surreptitiously whilst she pretended nothing was going on and played along with the game . She subsequent hid the recommended court letters went to court where a verdict was rendered without my knowledge presence or influence in less than 18 minutes. She hid the court ruling until the 10 days window for appeal had passed and from one day to the next I had lost my children house sanity everything. Then the 6 years battle of my life started where I was 25 goals down before the match had started. She was awarded a € 8600 monthly allowance claiming to earn a miserable salary of 40% below the minimum wage. When I finally had a team of lawyers in place I fought back claiming perjury as in fact she was the CEO of a family business earning 300'k annually and driving a Ferrari Portofino. (The prosecutor would later find a string of off shore bank accounts with bonus payments ) The day before she had to appear in court she accused me of sexual abuse on our 3 yrs old daughter and an avalanche of accusations followed : drug abuse permanent alcoholic physical violence attempt of kidnapping etc. etc. My children were taken away from me and it took 18 months to clear my name. Once declared innocent the death threads came through as my then 4 yrs old daughter told me she had heard her mother and grandmother tell her that I would be beaten up and soon dead. The police filed a complaint whilst the court and child protection did nothing. The accusations of molestation and abuse would be repeated to a.o. the school master and others despite a clear strong ruling in my favour. Over the following years ultimately 248 accusations of the most horrific kind were rendered ( 3 x of sexual abuse) and in April the prosecutor has demanded 6 and 12 months jail for some 24 criminal offences against my ex. Now she wants to negotiate and for me to pull the criminal pursuit... The press has picked up on this story and soon an article will appear in the most read national newspaper. My question do others have similar experiences like mine and how will she and her family ( all involved from the start esp her mother) react once this exceptional story hits the papers .. She has recently given birth to a 3rd child. (all 3 children are from different fathers and I am sure her latest partner is completely left in the dark..
Go for what you love. Dont give up ❤❤❤
My narc mom relentlessly uses point 5 on me. Lol. Sad but true. Mabbe its my karma from previous life
from what I saw, the adult golden child can't move out of the house, allows his relationships to all be sabotage by his narcist mother. and has no will of their own. Even asked permission to put his pajamas on.
I’d have to watch again, to better understand. But, it’s interesting watching my sister lie. I’ve never known her well and we’re in probate. I feel she’s a malignant narcissist. I see her lie like running water. It difficult to understand whether she just feels she’s just an excellent liar or that the judge and court are stupid, that telling the truth in court and then lying about the truth she told means history faking, etc. It’s as if she also doesn’t realize that, she might be able to get over with a lie here or there, but also feels that if she establishes a pattern of lying, she’ll still get over. Let’s not forget lying, when there is email and video evidence. Of course, there’s also that narcissistic lying, I started recognizing in my mother. What I mean is, “You and I both know I’m lying, but I love to watch you struggle, within the context of my lying, knowing an onlooker doesn’t know.” I think, for my mother, it was an issue of status. The well-respected mother’s word will always be taken over her daughter’s. But, this is why, when you find that you’re dealing with someone, who lies profusely, it’s important to keep evidence. I have emails, video from my property, body worn recording devices. Because this goes beyond one-to-one gaslighting. It becomes a direct plan to destroy, because that lying becomes weaponized against you, with the inclusion of others. One of your biggest problems, with people who lie, are outsiders, just like dealing with anything else narcissistic. When people instinctively suspect a person is dangerous or stronger, even through lying, you’d be surprised at how quickly they’ll run for cover, under the liar’s feigned good graces and dump the most apparent victim of their lies. Just like many narcissists and enablers, it may depend upon who they like, rather than evidence. Still, you may do yourself some good, by maintaining evidence. Especially in a legal setting.
I was guilty of believing future faking lies lol 😂
Human trafficking kidnapping rights violating triangulating stalking taunting fraud coward fajetivists amateurs
Where does lying/inventing stories/re-writing history on social media sit?
its good to understand narcissist, now i could predict the narc's next move, and their 'moves' doesn't hurt me as much anymore because I understand them.
My stalker tried to reverse victim blame and call ME the crazy one. Its scary tbh. Ive never even once been diagnosed as clinically insane. Clinically insane is when you LIVE in a fantasy world and YOU are disconnected from reality and you cant get out of that mindset. SO NO. Im not insane. HE IS.
I personally feel that I have been surrounded by narcissists all my life because everyone I have known has been like this! I always thought it was just the norm and I was the odd one out. Honestly, where does anyone find non-narcissistic people?
After leaving a 30 year narcissistic relationship earlier in the year, I really appreciate this discussion as I think being your true self and growing and healing towards that is something I am looking forward to, feeling hopeful for the future and determined to thrive. Thanks Darren 💪
Spot on from what I've heard about the narcist i had to spend a few years deal with. Mother knows best or else is the way she operated. The world evolves her and the only boyfriends she liked are the ones who dont hesitate to serve her. If the daughter hadnt gone to therapy and had was alerted how toxic this relationship this was, she would have stayed submissive and wouldnt have gotten married. Like the golden child who is far too close to his mother, wont even put his pajamas on without permission.
Are narcissists mentally ill ?
Growing upwith a nasc mother is like having been in a battlefield for 20 years of your life
Thank you! Greetings from Vienna!
I think I could make a whole KZread channel around giving examples that illustrate the points in this video. Very well done, sir. Peace to anyone who has endured such evil.
My neighbour is a narcissist and I think she is a sociopath too. She is my upstairs neighbour who is using some device to eavesdrop on our floor. Everyday and night she disturbs me in my sleep by making some or the other kind of noise on the floor. She also reacts by making noise when I say something. Nobody else gets disturbed bcoz she doesn’t make much noise but her target is me. So she makes just enough sound to disturb me. So nobody in my family believes what I am saying. I. I need help. I don’t know how to deal with this kind of situation . Pls help
Anyone here does a past lives regression and got some insights as to why they sign up for this scapegoat role? Please reply on my comment. Thanks a lot
Im still grieving. That person manipulated me to waste my entire life savings on her. Took everything from me, my money, my life, my family and left me in the end when i was financially bankrupt. Always made me feel like im responsible if their life sucks or unable to secure a loan to fund their life. Promised me good future and that we would earn together and become rich. Even when she's gone, She's playing games by trying to suck every bit out of me by forcing me to give her more money.
Your video is spot on! Helps me to feel better about going no contact with my sister.
I have been married to a Narcissist for over 60 years. I only found out in 2021, I decided to stay because of my financial and personal arrangements. I can relate to all the traits you mentioned in the video. Alan Dyall
I hope I can surpass this trauma. After hearing all the symptoms you mentioned, I know it’s a long road yet for me to endure. This video validated so much of me. Hugs to all who are recovering with me. Sad to be reading comments of struggles but we will endure til we surpass this cruel world. Take heart! 🤍🍃
It took a long time to realize that creating negative reactions in others, even to the point of being enraged, are just as yummy as positive reactions. It's just food. Manipulating someone until they lash out is prime rib and baked potatoes. Then they hold on to that play wound and will use it for the rest of their life. It's the gift that keeps on giving. The only feeling might be a Narc wound. Not hurt by the actual criticism, they're perfect after all, hurt that someone tried to be out of their control. And what I used to see as him being vulnerable, was play acting, an attempt to bring the target back into better control. It was a yummy nugget used to manipulate. Manipulate the person and manipulate others against that person. I often saw a split second gleam of "Gotcha!" in the eyes, right before the head hanging pain. Reality, it gave satisfaction. I had to learn to never react in front of them. Deeply wounded is not the same as harboring a deep resentment. I saw that being wounded crap as a way to get sympathy. Extra points if it was from professionals. CN I was thinking of would cry and "I can't take it anymore" then laugh on the way home, "I've got her wrapped around my finger. " One time he did the look vulnerable, down to the floor, sharing a deep seated secret he was suicidal to a social worker. She made us take him to ER. He was eating up the compassion there. They're admitting him. I go to get the boys. Come back. He's been discharged. He told me, "It wasn't fun any more."
The constant invalidation, getting blamed and guilt tripped for trying to be my own person and do normal things that people in their 20s do, having to tend to her needs but having mine neglected my whole life, always feeling forced to agree either way her, her being so overbearing. My dad wasn’t even allowed to speak up. I felt more protected and understood by my dad than I ever did by her and she hates that.
I rarely feel regret for "not going".
If you starve the ring master they will then shut down the circus.
I believe my narcissistic mother experienced narcissistic mortification as she aged, which ultimately led to narcissistic collapse and her death. As she aged, her health declined. She lost most of her money to a scam. Combine that with her social isolation during the COVID lockdown and the realization that her children each maintained to greater or lesser degree a Gray Rock strategy of interacting with her and her grandchildren outgrew their relationships with her and were little inclined to take kindly to her criticisms of their life choices. I know she hated it that not only was she mostly disabled and dependent, she felt irrelevant to the people who used to fear her. Whenever I started to feel sorry for her, she would say the nastiest things, deliberately to be hurtful.
I just love your content, Darren!! Thank you!! 🥰
Trigger warning: I realized that my now ex boyfriend would have sexual intercourse with me while I was completely asleep. I take melatonin & a muscle relaxer for TMD so I’m totally out. I woke up to him on top of me (don’t think I need to explain the rest) I was frozen. Couldn’t speak or move. I’m so ashamed & embarrassed for allowing this loser to do all the things he did. Things that were hard to prove. Locking me in the car only to scream & berate me. Push me into the hallway walls, tripping me, pinching me, jolting me out of my sleep & screaming in my face. There is so much more I’m trying to process. My heart & spirit are broken.
@katepavelle9465 0 seconds ago I was taught my therapist to name the behavior, and disengage. As in, “I am not going to be yelled at,” and leave the room. It worked in my situation. Once I moved to my daugher’s for 3 days. We had a detente after that for a while. There is a way of being assertive and respectful of yourself without actually inflaming the situation, but I can see how it may not work for everyone or every time. It’s still not a bad idea to have a go-bag stashed away with enough clothing, meds, and cash for a few days. YMMV.
Don’t forget the mother law who husband has died early in her kids life. Now there is not a man to put here in her place for intruding in her daughter marriage problems.I always wonder why these women never date or remarry after their husband death. They believe grand kids are their kids and intrude by purchasing trips and buying large purchase items with out consulting father
Please upload these kind of videos more. Thanks 🙏
Walked out of my covert narc dad's life right into a intimate friendship with a covert narc girl lol. Lucky for me I was already healing my relationship to myself and changing my behavior for the better. Just enough to be courageous enough to be authentic in my own conduct and savvy enough to keep her at least at "just friends" distance. We got just past the lovsbombing stage when things started to unravel. She got spooked when I realized I was gonna hold her accountable for advocating for herself, even if it'd make her look bad. Once I started setting my own boundaries to compensate, she started recruiting flunkies to shame me into submission second hand. What she didn't realize is that I set myself up with a strong and diverse support network, have a fierce commitment to respecting the dignity of everyone equally, and I find unbalancing aggressors by refusing to participate in hostile discourse incredibly funny. The flunky she recruited was extremely easy to bait, so once my mom picked up on the drama triangle dynamics, they lost basically all influence on me. It did take me some time to really see the writing on the wall, thanks to some pretty aggressive stonewalling and an abortive attempt to defuse the smear campaign on my end. After one interaction with her after of six months of no contact, though, all I could feel is pure ick 🤢 I couldn't be happier to be out. Good game, schmitty, you nearly got me 😜
Transcript available on Substack open.substack.com/pub/darrenfmagee/p/fear-of-missing-out-fomo?r=3e75m3&
Just now I came back to my father's office ,had a lunch. Before having food I told my mother 👩 👩🍼 👇👇👇 In workplace ,we call Business English, Accounting language or workplace etiquette or simply business etiquette & protocols. Now today I made a mistake in talking with my father's labour workers. I told my father I am sorry, this is what my need is 👉👉👉 *How to , what is a proper language, words to be used in communication inorder to get things done by others?* That's why I always pray for ADULT GUARDIANSHIP 🙏. *If I don't know anything about life, world, people at least he a person who knows how to be like an adult or function like full fledged adult person. He works & function independently. Also he makes me a person who can be by himself & can handle things properly. Knows when to & when not to talk, having boundaries.*
Is narcissistic collapse how u cure narcissism then? Ive gone through an identity crisis, that mean i was narcissist? How does decompensation and narc collapse look different?
Maybe it's who the Bible calls "reprobates."
So glad you made this, it is one hurtful part of being someone who is a healer and helping people on the planet that behind the scenes others dont realize is often experienced. Know that all influencers have this issue and it’s like those same bullies back in the school days 😞
It feels great to get passionate about your own life.
A great short. I really value you Darren. I'd never leave pathetic messages. Thanks for your support
Dealing with a narcissist with dementia . It’s hell.
I used to feel like that when I was in my teens. My parents didn't allow me to have a social life. Now I don't feel I'm missing anything only that I waisted too much time and efforts to get along with a toxic family.
🤣🤣🤣
I think in the majority of families the parents are narcissistic
The nail hit well and truly on the head. Thank you.
Do you have any videos about sibling adult relationships when they were raised in a narcissistic or dysfunctional family? I’m particularly interested in what adult “golden child” and “lost child” sibling relationships look like as adults.
This is exactly how my mother in law behaves with my boyfriend
I was considering subscribing. Then I saw all the Star Trek, Star Wars crap in the background. 👎
boy they get mad at nothing ennit?🧐🙁