Narcissists update relationships in real time at their own convenience.

@kevingillard5474

2 ай бұрын

The goalposts move constantly. The more they move, the more you give(up) to them and the less you get in return. Death of relationship reciprocity and accountability for them by a thousand cuts.

@AA-cb7dz

2 ай бұрын

Their selfish metrics updates give us the right to fight back. The person we should be negotiating with is the game producer.

@rubberbiscuit99

2 ай бұрын

Precisely!

Double standards definitely

Now I understand why my mother harsh with me and more lenient with my brother and sister, even though the two of them caused her far more and severe difficulty when we're growing up. Both of them became more and more dysfunctional to the point that they became substance abusers, high school dropouts, felons, and teen parents. I graduated from highschool, college graduate, no legal issues, no children, military veteran, and professional job now. Better put: She drove them to dysfunction and she drove me away.

@randy_cbc8811

2 ай бұрын

Good for you, jeffrey, GOD BLESS YOU, brother. 🙂

@user-hl9yt9vi3i

2 ай бұрын

you are safer away from your mum

@MI6-W

2 ай бұрын

similar experience. They want everyone around them to be similarly miserable

Lots of highlights the big bell rang for me with 'finding out about rules that you never knew existed'. That was after seven years in the job!

@kimhumiston2686

2 ай бұрын

Yep for sure. I worked at a job where 1 office bully wall allowed to play games on her computer. Another girl could look online for 2 days for a new vehicle. One day I was discarding very old emails, and N office manager said if I had time do that, I should ask her if there was anything she needed me to do. Out of there now. Best move I ever made!

@MT-bc1we

2 ай бұрын

That's not true. You must be crazy. I'm the victim, not you. (DARVO) my attempt at humor :)

I know someone that fits that description. Impossiblle to deal with him. Very toxic.

Creates division. Yes, sir! It certainly did. I have gone no contact, live in another state, haven't seen any family between 5 and 8 years depending on the individual, and feel no guilt or shame about it. Life is better that way. I don't want them in my system.

@everett8610

Ай бұрын

Good for you 👍

It's a daily torture to have a classic narcissist in charge... head of a university department. You are forced to take sides, you are either a slave or an enemy.

So informative, thank you. "My" narcissist is so charismatic with her words that she convinces my colleagues, that are in their 50's, that i am something that im not😂 (in her smear campaign against me) They are flying monkeys and don't even know it.

@smartfone231

2 ай бұрын

Darren I'd like to know your take on... It seems that sometimes flying monkeys are not aware of their behaviour/ involvement. I'd love to hear what you think about that. Thanks for what you do

@DarrenFMagee

2 ай бұрын

@smartfone231 I’d made a video on the different kinds of flying monkeys if you’d find those helpful?

Spot on. This is exactly what the narcissists do. Monstrous behaviour.

When a narcissist accuses someone of something it's very likely that he/she is projecting their own bad behavior onto the other person. The classic example of this is when a person who is cheating accuses their partner of having an affair. Knowing this can be quite useful for helping the victim reclaim some of their power. Don't become angry or upset, just cal.mly mention that people (don't say narcissist, keep the extent of your knowledge to yourself as much as possible) who make accusations are showing their own faults. This drove my covert narc father crazy or should I say crazier. Your videos have been very helpful to me; I hope my experiences will help people as well.

You confirmed my conclusion regarding why my mother was so argumentative about my returning back home 2006. It was under the disguise of concern but ultimately about re-establishing control. I didn't comply. I was told to suit myself and my reply was, "That's what adults do and should do. Only young children suit their parents."

I seem to have had more than my fair share of dealings with narcissists, given your description. Or perhaps it is a lot because I am a typical personality of their preferred target.

Here’s a funny for ya. As my narc husband quietly and slowly crept up into my bedroom doorway I had just clicked on your video and I could just feel him there so I read the title of the video excitedly out loud. I said THE RULEBOOK OF NARCISSISM??? And without any hesitation and without even turning to look at him I said I got your guys RULEBOOK now. Hahahaha. Then I turned and looked at him standing there very angered. 😂😂😂😂. One of his many cry and attempts of arguing with me is how I watch these kinds of videos but this was expected anyhow. I watch these videos for my mental health not his so I don’t actually care what his thoughts about this. 😊

@chrissemenko628

Ай бұрын

Why would you egg him on like that? To what end? To start shit? To "show" him?! I'm genuinely curious WHY you found it necessary to piss him off (or whatever your intention was) Because EVERYTHING we do is done with intention. And this made you gleeful seeing his anger? Hmmmm..ok.

@Angela-ul9si

Ай бұрын

@@chrissemenko628 no I’m tired of being sneaky trying to finally better myself walking on eggshells for decades now and hiding in my bedroom on my bed. I’m old and I’m done. Everything I do or don’t do for him angers him so this is me now saying F U I’m not everything that you said I am and everything is not wrong with me and in my head. He now sees that I am attempting to help myself and I’m not hiding anything that is for my own good from him to prevent his tantrums and belittling of me or what I’m trying to do. This was actually a very scary moment for me inside when this occurred and I could feel myself shaking but for me it was my stand up moment. I realize that many people like to slam into others for something that they don’t agree with but frankly unless they have lived in their experiences they have no clue what’s best or not best for them. This was my stand up moment from decades of what I now know is narcissistic abuse and to be quite honest no I’m not sorry for my actions in this situation with my husband. I’ve said sorry my entire lifetime to things that I now know I shouldn’t have just to keep the peace. I am starting my healing journey for myself and this was the starting stand up to him moment for me.

"You need to get some compassion but into your heart!" This was my then narcissistic romantic interest's response to me when I maintained my boundary and refused to allow her into my life again after cheating. If I hadn't had life experiences and then have them explained by your videos, it would be difficult for me to believe that such people actually exist in this world; because I just can't see my treating people the way that some family and so called friends have treated me.

Your closing reminds me so much of my now deceased narcissistic father. What he did to all of my siblings, especially his sons, he was unable to do to me, even though he tried tenaciously. At his last attempt, I looked at him, turned around, and walked away from him. The next and last time that I saw him was after he had multiple mini-strokes. He didn't know we were there even though he was conscious. I eventually left and never went back. Eventually, I relocated back to Tennessee. A little more than a year later, I learned that he had passed away. I didn't return for the funeral. Why? I hadn't lost anything worth having.

How very many times Pop said "Do as I say, not as I do." His was overt narcissism. Much worse were Mom's covert malicious narcissism. Scary how many of your points they met.

You said it all.

Thank you Darren for speaking about this. They have different rules for different people.

Right on ...

This channel is brilliant! Right up there with Dr Ramani, Sam Vaknin, and Richard Grannon.

Thank you Darren for paintinga a clear picture of what is going on

Very important video! They use both the truth (reality, rules), half truths, and lies, to control other ppl.

Thank you. A very good video again. I understood it very well. Sometimes I wish I didn't understand because I only understand it so well because of what I've been through. It is somehow always helpful to just hear it put into words like this to organize it and make sense of it. The load is so immense and traumatic really that videos like this smooth out a piece of it at a time.

I’ve made this comment before in your videos, but I will say it again. You must have met my mother! She is everything you said here. The favouritism and different sets of rules for her children which created division. Yep!

This is spot on!!!

If she had her way, I would not gone to the military and, afterwards, so far away to college. I could tell this by her verbal and nonverbal communication during those time periods. She would actually prefer that I remained in that dead end town with little to no opportunity for a better life to maintain control, even though I was the only one of three who had promise and did succeed. And this is my mother? But I understand: She grew up in dysfunction herself. Among other things, with an alcoholic father and witnessing his rampages.

Wow… spot on. Great series

I concluded that's why a narcissistic female colleague sent other colleagues an email regarding my boundary setting. You know what came of it? Zilch.

Very good video

Also see Kai Winn in the series 'deep space nine', who was played by the same actress who played nurse Ratched!

Living through this has made me mentally ill. I dont go out i cant function outside of my home now

I cant help but notice the parallels between narcissists and those on the political left.

@DebbieLee-dr3hr

2 ай бұрын

Huh?

Oh, the government.😮

Narcissists make great lawyer, car dealers and politicians.

@wendysimpson6395

2 ай бұрын

Putin, Trump, Orban, Erdoğan, Johnson, Trust, Sunak are all Narcs. Would never ever describe them as good!

@keithbarbaro7590

2 ай бұрын

Also police officers and priests. Here in my middle class Queens neighborhood those two occupations were highly narcissistic.

@AA-cb7dz

2 ай бұрын

interface business

@ellenkelley5353

2 ай бұрын

A lot of them seem to have chosen jobs in healthcare. I've had a few doctors that were most interested in being right, not actually helping me. One got angry when I refused to take medication that had bad side effects. I got a second opinion from a different doctor and he was appalled by that. There are also a few narc teachers out there. Once you can recognize,, you can neutralize.

@AA-cb7dz

2 ай бұрын

They like people who follow them and hate people who don't. That's how they decide and use their fake emotions.

Thoughts on Narcissistic Landlords?

Very helpful, you've just explained the pharmaceutical industry and governments behaviour during the recent pandemic. Seems to be the narcissistic pattern of entitlement is repeating and gaining momentum in households and relationships globally. Humanity not learning their history lessons. But the source of the problem I'd like to speculate is the patriarchal culture of misogyny and sexual dominance. That's where the problem lies with humanity. Sexism and dominance leads to all other conquests of power over others. It's a big scam, to believe in the lies of those who seek to dominate.

What is described, here, are the rules by which the WHO, WEF, and the UN operate.

@Joelswinger34

2 ай бұрын

Back up your statement with examples and reasoning.

@luclelievre9330

2 ай бұрын

@@Joelswinger34 It explains itself, doesn't it?

@kat-75

2 ай бұрын

​@Joelswinger34 friendship with the world is enmity with God

@luclelievre9330

2 ай бұрын

@@kat-75 I don't get it? I don't pick up on what you mean?

@HomeFromFarAway

2 ай бұрын

​@@kat-75that's pretty pathological thinking right there

US politics under DT.

@TheListOf

2 ай бұрын

You poor thing...😂😂😂😂

@shsummers

2 ай бұрын

@@TheListOf Right? Pure partisanship without an ounce of critical thought. As if it doesn't apply to every administration in recent memory.

@TheListOf

2 ай бұрын

@@shsummers It's more a case of Trump Derangement Syndrome...

@susanparker9877

2 ай бұрын

@@TheListOf Watching from another country, but very concerned for our neighbours and friends in the USA. Concerned for the whole world.

@TheListOf

2 ай бұрын

@@susanparker9877 No, you're not. You just hate Trump.

Every authoritarian right winger/hard leftist politician ever. Trump, Stalin, Mao, Putin, Mugabe. can we have mandatory personality checks for politicians please?

@everett8610

Ай бұрын

Don’t forget Obama.

Narcissist term is been overused these days…People called me an narcissist before, because I am cold, uncaring, callous towards people feelings. Because they love to put label on people because it doesn’t benefit them because i don’t care about them. Narcissist lost his meaning these days…..People are hypocrites these days. I don’t empathize with people at all, i don’t feel it, done. No narcissist, no toxic, no drama. I avoid people as plague because they working on my f nerves….