The talk was fantastic Anna, it spoke to me greatly!! I feel validated and motivated, gently. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. ❤

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Ай бұрын

Thank you for watching! We're so glad to hear Anna's videos are helpful for you! Good luck on your healing journey! Nika@TeamFairy

This makes sense to me because if your self esteem is low you feel as if you don't deserve healthy relationships...

Healing trauma takes a tremendous amount of self energy and courage. Awareness is key to the understanding of the disfunctional patterns that exists. I honour you all on this healing journey. ❤

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Ай бұрын

Thank you for watching and sharing your thoughts with us. Glad you are here! Nika@TeamFairy

Best part about healing from cPTSD thus far is being able to identify individuals whose mood/behavior is always driven by external factors. Once I see that I immediately set up boundaries on the time they can be in my life and I stop internalizing their crap. Can’t wait to see what I else I learn!!

@ingridd1111

12 күн бұрын

Absolutely! A treasure, a super power! ❤❤❤

Look at this upgrade, love the new format Anna! Thank you for changing my life, and so many others.

@lanefaurot

Ай бұрын

Including me!

@jude4247

Ай бұрын

What I have been feeling since childhood finally has a name. And a community of others seeking a better life thru healing. Bless you all on your journey. It can be really rough but we have a great leader in Anna! So happy we found her!

@SufiKitty

Ай бұрын

I still like the long format. I don't care for any music (in case I happen to drift off, it wakes me up).

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Ай бұрын

Thank you for being a part of our community here! Nika@TeamFairy

Completely nailed it when you said the part about bonding through sex and then spending years trying to make the person be the person you hoped they would be. I think that’s how you said it. That’s my pattern. And! “Closure is no contact.” Boom! Facts!

Self sabotage... Sadly many "normal" people do not care or have the patience or care about your traumas/healing and always recommend therapy which isn't for everybody some therapist(s) literally are doing their jobs and don't care when your talk time is over.

@edie4321

Ай бұрын

That's why we need to come together in support groups. We deserve the care and understanding that only another experiencer can share. 12 step groups are still the only right solution for addiction and alcoholism.

@kadd4415

Ай бұрын

@@edie4321 Love that comment -because a healthy community can give us the support and accountability that we need. I'm not an addict so I don't know about the 'only right solution" thru 12-step groups but I've known people who have life-changing experiences thru them. They say: - You work the program and it'll work for you. God bless us all.

@boxelder9167

Ай бұрын

Talk therapy is using the cognitive brain while the trauma lives in the low brain. Normal people don’t know what it’s like to live with trauma and they don’t understand it nor do they want to know it in many cases. I wanted them to understand it and love me enough to heal me from the love deficit that I had. Lots of people don’t want to or don’t have the capacity for that so I had to accept that fact and move forward to get better without them. I think that cognitive processing therapy helped me the most to realize how my beliefs were shaped by the trauma and how they were building roadblocks to relationships. I felt like I was too broken to be worthy of being loved. It helped me to discover how that was actually not true. It also helped me realize that I needed people who were truly trustworthy more than I needed someone who wanted sex.

@drumdad54sdl47

Ай бұрын

I briefly saw a therapist who had never heard the term "trauma bond." I knew right then that was a dead end. Therapy isn't always the answer.

I wasted my whole life on alllll the wrong men!!! Now at 70 just want to be by myself and at Peace!! In the 80's and 90's it was a free-for-all---and sometimes its just luck that someone comes along who is right?? Wish I had your advice back then!!!😏😏😔😔

I agree with a lot, for me I see though that there absolutely is such thing as toxic people. I was toxic before going into 12 step and confronting my codependency. It is a dance and a dynamic like Anna said, and there are also toxic people

I highly recommend neurofeedback therapy, it's helped me immensely. I'm much more regulated and calm. I spent many years of dysregulation and constant overwhelm. I have C-PTSD from a crappy childhood.

@peacefulwaters222

Ай бұрын

Hi! Do you mind saying a bit more about neurofeedback therapy, like the process / what to expect?

@EmberCrow

Ай бұрын

I’m going to look this up.

@Karla-mu6hn

Ай бұрын

That's wonderful that it worked for you. I've tried it and it never stuck for me. I would feel the effects and revert back. What kind did you do?

@HermeticWorlds

Ай бұрын

@@peacefulwaters222 Yes I'm happy to share my experience. I recommend reading 'The Body Keeps the Score' by Bessel Van Der Kolk, which is where I first heard about neurofeedback. I also recommend speaking to a local neurofeedback practitioner, who can explain the process better than I can. During each neurofeedback session, the practitioner places several nodes onto my head. The nodes are connected to the machine, which is connected to the laptop. The nodes/machine only monitor what frequency my brain is currently at, they do not change anything, they merely record. All the changes come from my brain itself, when it automatically changes it's own frequencies to match what is programmed into the machine - it seems like magic but honestly, after 20 sessions already, I'm seeing positive results. The practitioner programs in a frequency that she would like my brain to copy. During each session, I play a computer game that is connected to the laptop, the game only works if my brain is running on the programmed frequency. The amazing part is that my brain learns what frequency it must copy to make the game work. If my brain is at the wrong frequency, the game will not work. It usually takes a few seconds for my brain to learn what frequency the game works at. So the brain automatically learns and adjusts itself during the process. After repeated sessions, my brain runs on more optimal frequencies (my brain is learning what frequencies to run at, it's like brain training), with the result that I’m calmer and more regulated. It’s honestly amazing!

@HermeticWorlds

Ай бұрын

@@Karla-mu6hn I'm sorry to hear it didn't work for you, how long did you continue the sessions for? My practitioner tells me that most people need around 40 sessions (each 1 hour long) for the results to stick. There is only one type of neurofeedback therapy that I'm aware of.

I‘m always convinced I get cheated on or lied to and then I test the man I love, accuse etc.. when he has enough I take it as proof that I am right. It’s horrible.

@bejaypurrs

Ай бұрын

Me too

@cosimavonliebenau8317

Ай бұрын

Me too. BPD - so painful.

@piggyacres

Ай бұрын

I've learned that is a collossal waste of emotions and time. Think about your needs to be stable and happy.

@biancamanzini8246

Ай бұрын

For them too

@1HorseOpenSlay

Ай бұрын

It's probably better that way, because 99% of guys do cheat. It's a fact

Love the new background Anna. So cozy!

I always appreciate the unique way that you have of saying things, you´re so right :) Great video!

Another wonderful video. Thanks Anna. I often wonder if our endorphins get a bit messed up and aren't really the "pleasure" hormones they're meant to be. In other words, childhood trauma may, just may, screw up your hormonal chemistry just enough, preventing them from attaching to receptors. No dopamine, no happy. No serotonin, no happy. Perhaps, CPTSD actually changes our internal chemistry so "happiness" becomes this thing where the goal-posts keep changing and you keep running after them, but they keep moving.

@christinelamb1167

Ай бұрын

I believe this is probably true. I have heard that childhood trauma, especially often over a long period of time, actually injures the brain. This could likely include the way hormones and neurotransmitters function.

@freefree1664

Ай бұрын

yes, there is a link between auto-immune & nervous system conditions and cptsd

@boxelder9167

Ай бұрын

We can get addicted to the emotional highs and lows in order to feel something because we learn to numb ourselves out. Then we can mistake that feeling for love because that’s all that was offered to us. I have had to find happiness in “average” and stable rather then burning bright and then burning out.

I am in a total fantasy in denial with the man i am with out of loneliness. Living in my mothers basement broke with no car, i dont know what im going to do, it feels hopeless.

@Freedomexpresstrain

Ай бұрын

A lifetime of abuse and choosing and trusting wrong people. I'm screwed.

@louarmstrong6128

Ай бұрын

Maybe go live in a shelter and work your way out of all the crap....I did , just take it one step at a time and you will end up somewhere better

@turnthepage867

Ай бұрын

Get treatment for depression...or you'll just go around in circles.

@Freedomexpresstrain

Ай бұрын

I am.gping to try like heck to pick myself up and carry on. I appreciate your well-meaning guidance.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Ай бұрын

Trauma-driven thinking can be discouraging. But never forget: Healing is possible! If you haven't already, you may want to try Anna's free course ‘The Daily Practice’. It is the technique that led to Anna’s own healing, and she uses it to this day. Here’s a link if you’re interested: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

I ❤ your videos…I have felt so hopeless this year my 49th…I was derailed by family estrangement and hurtful unloving relationships and thank god I found your videos thank you KZread! As well ❤

I spent most of my life (decades) literally hearing my mother's voice in my head

Healing begins when you make the decision to question your trauma-driven beliefs. ❤️ Yes, yes and yes.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

26 күн бұрын

Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

Anna- what does a healthy relationship even look like? I have been enmeshed it’s not that, but the latter… it is so hard to discern when you have never even had one? X

To be loved you need to make yourself loveable, work on yourself….

Anna I truly appreciate your work. I've always felt so misunderstood. Since I've embarked on my deep healing journey to become better for myself and those I love, it seems especially harder/scary feeling like I am exposing my vulnerabilities whilst trying to establish and build trust in relationships. Your videos give me hope when I often feel hopeless and for that I am grateful.

Thank you for the list, ugh spot on. I’ve signed up for your class, years ago. Fear won out.

I just realized I have had more than one domestic partner who’ve said- as a reply to an appeal from me asking them to either 1. Pitch in with daily domestic chores more regularly (than once or twice a month)… or 2. Something regarding a different way I would like to be treated more respectfully or with consideration for my own feelings/needs/wishes… They’ve responded with threatening to “I can move out….” Otherwise they’ve said that I could move out… otherwise they’ve responded with, “If you think you can find someone better than me good luck with that go ahead and try because you’ll never find better.. only way worse….”

I love your new set!

I have only recently started watching your videos and learning from you. I am so thankful I discovered you! I have learned so much about myself I listening to you and I appreciate all you have shared. CPTSD is a challenge to many people and you’re very generous in sharing your knowledge

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Ай бұрын

I'm so glad you found the channel! Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy

It’s amazing how these rationalizations hit so different once you start to heal. “He’s just damaged from childhood.” Yes. I was damaged too and that’s why I can’t tolerate harmful people in my life. Like - you realize that those reasons are very real and why you should walk away from them not stay with them.

Just what i needed!!!

Fantastic video. Thanks Aunty Anna 💟

Good discussion im listening. Thanks

Thank you for this Anna

You always post the right video at the very time that i need to hear it😊

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Ай бұрын

Great! Hope they are helpful tools on your healing journey! Nika@TeamFairy

love the new background!!!!!

You look so pretty Anna ❤ thank you for your content Ms.Fairy.

I've been able to heal quite a bit despite not having friends. I've found groups of other older gay men where I can talk and hear about other gay men's lives. Don't let the lack of friends or family stop you from being honest with yourself.

Excellent! Thank you

Thank you so much! ☺️ ❤

Yes! I like the living room video!!!

Interesting new background! First time I've seen it. 😊

Wow -great camera, Anna (audio is superb too)! I believe these enhance your message, just a tiny bit?

"I attract mosquitos but I don't sleep with them" 💀

You are such a lovely person

Thank you!

Self-sabotage. The story of my life. 🙄

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Ай бұрын

Glad you are here now! Nika@TeamFairy

@Knight1118-gk7ok

Ай бұрын

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you. I lost the greatest thing that ever happened to me, my wife, to cancer last year, then my best friend since elementary school died from the same 2 months later, and I put down the last of our 4 dogs at the beginning of this month due to kidney failure. Also found out after New Year's that my mother is now stage 6 of Alzheimer's, but I never was close with family due to many of things you describe in your presentations. When it rains it pours. It's been a trying a time.

All I can say. Is. Wow. Luv u girl. U totally rock ❤❤❤❤❤

Boundaries, firm boundaries, are challenging for me. And, how do I say no and what if they like me?? Working on these challenges

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Ай бұрын

Here are more of Anna's videos you might find interesting and helpful: www.youtube.com/@CrappyChildhoodFairy/search?query=boundaries Good luck on your healing journey! Nika@TeamFairy

Here are the 10 beliefs: 1 I attract unavailable people. 6:00 2 S*x is how you find out if you're compatible. 6:55 3 I'm always exactly where I'm supposed to be. 7:58 4 Maybe it's okay because they were hurt before. 9:02 5 They had a lot of childhood trauma so they self-medicate. 9:42 6 I realized my ex is an abusive narcissist. 10:18 7 We're just friends. 10:58 8 I need closure. 11:47 9 She is toxic. 12:00 10 There are no good men/women. 13:02

I don't believe this at all. I spent my whole life believing in the good of people and still don't have any friends or family or positive connections or cannot get my life to work. I lived all the positivity and longevity of a fresh childlike, playful optimistic person and still shit has constantly happened and only in the last few years I have given up and feel so deprived, angry at life and feel like nothing I have ever tried has worked, not meditation, not positivity, not growth mindset, not manifestation, not constantly taking care of myself, and positive actions daily and now I am truly over it all!!!

no shit, i have known that for years, learning how to deal with those negatives and become human again...thats what I want to learn. and every damn shrink, preacher or chaplain has failed to reconize that fact. Its only recently after taking physcology classes at the college that I finally learned about childhood ptsd and ericksons life phases.

This seems mostly beliefs concerning romantic trauma driven beliefs could you do some that would apply to childhood trauma drive beliefs? Like " You are a problem." "You don't deserve to exist." Your not worth knowing." "You have no right to be loved or no right to want to be loved."

This lady just read me to filth

IFS helps with a therapist.

❤

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Mother: caught cheating 1st GF: cheated 2nd GF: cheated 3rd GF: I already lost interest, regardless of who she is.

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Watching my thoughts & how the enemy tells me lies , my Lord rebukes you Satan

Jesus has already saved you. And he asks us to receive the Holy Spirit for our entire all day every day. No human, including ourselves can fix anything.

@halcyondays8945

28 күн бұрын

That’s not true. I’ve healed a lot of things. Jesus is proud of me.

@davidverlaney7764

28 күн бұрын

@@halcyondays8945 you? Or the anointing given to you and used through you? In your name? Or in Jesus name? Jesus is already sitting at the right hand throne of God. Stay humble, my friend. If you are helping people in Jesus name, the enemy will do everything they can to get you to stumble. Pride is a go to for them. But I hear what you're saying. But that's what Jesus said. Love your neighbor as yourself. But love God, First.

@halcyondays8945

28 күн бұрын

@@davidverlaney7764 nope, proud of me in particular. I worked very hard to heal. I treated it like a job and showed up everyday for myself for years. I’ve come a long way and it was through hard intentional and often painful effort and I’ve seen how far I’ve come. I feel a healthy sense of self confidence because I’ve proven to myself that I can do hard things. But it’s the furthest thing from arrogance. In fact the more I heal the more I recognize how far I am from complete integrity and how much work on myself still yet to do. Believe me, that keeps me plenty humble.