Headcanon that the two lost primarchs were also femboys and Malcador was not having any of the emperor's s***

@averagedemocrat9546

Жыл бұрын

I said one femboy!

@primarchoftheunnamed3237

Жыл бұрын

Interesting theory. Very interesting

@arya31ful

Жыл бұрын

​@@averagedemocrat9546"JUST. ONE. These two never happened and we'll never talk about this. Ever" *Sends both to Retconia*

@averagedemocrat9546

Жыл бұрын

@@arya31ful We know why Horus was so upset with the lost primarch's having their statues removed, he couldn't handle the loss of his two discord kittens.

@the_apotecary_from_tf2

11 ай бұрын

Couldn't he leave ONE cool femboy? Instead we got fulgrim

Still gave Horus "male pattern baldness".

@BIGBOSS-bu1jt

11 ай бұрын

and mortarian and alphtaius and omegon and lorgar and perturabo and vulcan

@purevert

11 ай бұрын

Since they have Big E's DNA even he isn't immune form male pattern baldness.

@Gm-ce5kg

11 ай бұрын

@@purevert the maintaining of his hair is a significant part of its permanent psychic energy use

@malakimphoros2164

11 ай бұрын

Astartes pattern bahldness

@griffionwyvrus9063

11 ай бұрын

​@@BIGBOSS-bu1jtMortarian actually have a long black hair it is just receding to the back behind his cowl

Malcador canonically suggested he wanted some of them to be girls, so they would "get along" as his excuse.

@RainbowGod666

11 ай бұрын

Remember the meme: the emperor didnt make girls because he KNEW how would we behave around 12+ ft tall demigoddesses with daddy issues

@Halo2nothing11111

11 ай бұрын

The funny part is that he thinks women get along. Immediately upon hearing that Horus betrayed the Emperor both would try to find out which side the other was on so they could join the apposing one.

@Wertsir

11 ай бұрын

@@RainbowGod666Submissively?

@RainbowGod666

11 ай бұрын

@@Wertsir either that or somebody would try to rizz em up But yeah its a coin flip on that one

@lorenzorodriguez9481

11 ай бұрын

Yikes Malcador has never interacted with women if he thinks like that.

“No part werewolves” *Emperor sneaks in Leeman Russ towards the end*

@sovietunion7643

Жыл бұрын

i love the idea that leman russ wasn't even created yet, but he was still somehow around and big E shoved him in a test tube and russ came out stronger, as if leman was just a force of nature that happened to be nearby and was shoved into the primarch project JUST because the emperor really thought a werewolf primarch would be sick

@Become-Eggplant

Жыл бұрын

He also created Lion E'l Johnson, because Malcador only said "No vampires or Werewolves". Didn't say anything about LIONS!

@NameName2.0

11 ай бұрын

@@Become-Eggplant We not talkin bout Sanguinius and his Gene's defect?

@gamechanger8908

11 ай бұрын

@@Become-Eggplant but Lions are social creatures?? Lion is more like a Tiger than most.

@stevenmcdonough2356

7 ай бұрын

@@NameName2.0 Fabulous hawk boys are always permitted!

Femboy: Fulgrim Vampire: Sanguinius Warewolf: Leman Russ

@Mondays_Coffee

5 ай бұрын

the lemon man

@KingLich451

5 ай бұрын

Femboy: Sanguinius Vampire: Corax Werewolf: Lion

@user-vu5wt7xv5i

5 ай бұрын

Vampire: Cerz

@Joshuaninja

5 ай бұрын

You forgot men child

@changer_of_ways_999

5 ай бұрын

I thought Corvus was the Femboy... or was it Perterabo... or Girlyman. They're all whiney little...

“You brothers - such a neat of rivalries. I warned him to make you sisters, that it would make things more civilized. He thought I was joking. I wasn’t.” - Malcador the Sigilite, a.k.a Malcador the Hero

@gachilord8814

Жыл бұрын

I mean he just wanted some 3+ meters genetically perfect buff dommy mommies with daddy issues. Can't blame Mal tho

@omidm.935

Жыл бұрын

Malcador clearly didn't have sisters

@michasalamon8315

Жыл бұрын

@@omidm.935he was immortal. Even if he had any he lived for so long he forgot all about them. That’s pretty much what must have happened. 200 years under himalayas will make a Man forget the bad stuff about women.

@gachilord8814

Жыл бұрын

@@omidm.935 he just thought they would solve their problems by having hot steamy sex instead of arguing and fighting. I mean being males they also could, but it just hits different

@Ragnarra

11 ай бұрын

He should have listened while not all females are empathic they do have a tendancy to PMSing after all but a female primarch would have been pretty cool. Can you imagine the scene? Girlboss in ceremite armor who would probably be the only one who would keep the rest in line, it would be hilarious to see some of the other space marines try to 'flirt' with the primarch despite having no sex drive at all due to the argumentations. It likely would end weith many injuries and several deaths, and woe to any guardsman who DARED even think of her that way.

"Why do you want a femboy?" "It is critical to this plan that we hit every fetish we can think if between these 20 beautiful, powerful, buff men." "...Who are your sons." "Yes." "...Sure. why not. My life cant get any weirder at this point. We might as well do this."

@Zarcasi

5 ай бұрын

Horus: Are you sure about that?

@Flesh_Wizard

5 ай бұрын

"i have lived for tens of thousands of years, do you think i could possibly feel anything anymore?"

The irony is that the half-vampire and the half-werewolf turned out to be some of the best of his sons

@changer_of_ways_999

5 ай бұрын

One died like a b!tch and the other IS one. I'd hardly call those the best ones.

@magnusthered4973

4 ай бұрын

Hell no on the corgi

@cesardulanto7900

2 ай бұрын

I think he meant Kunrad Kurze…

@crack2264

10 күн бұрын

He mean sanguinius

I'm surprised by Big E being the voice of reason in this conversation.

@wolfbane7497

Жыл бұрын

He's lieing

@daddybondrewd7271

Жыл бұрын

​@@wolfbane7497is that you horus?

@wolfbane7497

Жыл бұрын

@@daddybondrewd7271 no..... I am alpharuis this is a lie

@silent0089

Жыл бұрын

​@@wolfbane7497 I'm Alpharius

@apocalypticash1242

11 ай бұрын

​@@silent0089 Sounds like Omeagon to me....

Let me guess… the fem boy is Fulgrim isn’t it?

@IdioticSynergy

Жыл бұрын

Yep ^^

@Zachriel_Productions

Жыл бұрын

@@IdioticSynergy “claps hand together” NAILED IT!

@antoinegoncalves567

Жыл бұрын

no is ferrus manus

@Zachriel_Productions

Жыл бұрын

@@antoinegoncalves567 that could be a twist

@IdioticSynergy

Жыл бұрын

@@antoinegoncalves567 He's certain a cut above the rest

Malcador had a Freudian slip right there.

Malcador was going to let Emps hit it if he could bear children lmao. A true friend indeed

@changer_of_ways_999

5 ай бұрын

If Big E was played by Henry Cavill, I'd consider it too. My only exception to my heterodoxy... I mean heterosexuality.

Ive always imagined Malcador as the man who builds up The Emperors plans. Like the way a zoo handler treats a hyper intelligent elephant. Hes just helps guide him, helps him out agaisnt threats while gazing upon his plans.

@andrewpandrew7786

11 ай бұрын

“Hey Malcador look at this neat genetic blueprint I made for a femboy Custodes! Isn’t it great?” “Yes my lord it’s wonderful. We’re gonna put it right up here on the fridge next to the blue print of tom boy Astartes for everyone to admire.”

I like how Malcador doubts the results but not the method

I think my favorite part if this was "Listen Malcador, we're going to use my DNA to make super soldiers." "...okay..." "And they're going to be the *biggest* men alive." "Excuse me?"

"Why do you want a femboy?" "Variety's sake! You try to remember the names and faces of 20 children! You need to make each one distinct and marketable!"

Meanwhile the Angel of Death screaming in the timeout box...

@gadrielvanorion9872

Жыл бұрын

Ppl keep forgetting about him I kinda wish we get to see it again But this time the emperor kinda just actually uses him Imagine the lion gets his even older brother to go and fuck chaos It would be a dark angel thing to do, using one of the emperor's most intense weapons

@Bananakingchad

Жыл бұрын

The Retard corner lol

@johnanderson3559

11 ай бұрын

@@gadrielvanorion9872remember, his main goal is “KILL CHAOS” and the main way to kill chaos was to slaughter anything that could be corrupted, primarchs included. Though he does have a priority list of 1- KILL CHAOS 2- KILL ANYTHING CORRUPTIBLE BY CHAOS So he would be the best first last resort against the unending steroid addicts of khorne, sheer unwashed masses of sheer unwashed masses of nurgle, whatever the fuck tzeentch comes up, and the bdsm lovers who forgot the safeword of slaneesh

@silverbladeofnorth7345

11 ай бұрын

​@@gadrielvanorion9872Lion will end up dead if this happen. Angel is merciless abomination

@lordgod9958

11 ай бұрын

I believe it got sent to retconia recently or so I heard Another 40k KZreadr mentioned something about the short story the angel was from being considered no longer canon

He made two vampires in the end, I'd argue 2 pretty close to were wolves with Luprical and Russ.

@secondarytrollaccount

Жыл бұрын

Also a crow, an irs agent, a Mongol raider, a catholic priest, a forest cat, and the list goes on

@somethingsomething2685

Жыл бұрын

@@secondarytrollaccount Also a discord mod and an optimus prime

@secondarytrollaccount

Жыл бұрын

@@somethingsomething2685 and soygrim.

@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus

Жыл бұрын

@@secondarytrollaccount that’s the femboy, not sure what the two heads of the hydra can be slandered as though

@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus

Жыл бұрын

About the two vampires? Who else besides the angel needed blood like that? The prototype?

AND TWO OF THEM ARE GOTHS! MALCADOR, MAKE ONE EDGY AND THE OTHER MOODY!

@catnium

5 ай бұрын

so a goth and an emo than

@thomasnolastname8734

4 ай бұрын

AND GIVE ONE OF THEM A TINY SPAM JAVELIN, BUT DON'T LET ANYONE KNOW WHO IT IS

@franciscol3510

3 ай бұрын

This is like saying the difference betwen Gork and Mork is that one is cunning but brutal and the other is brutal but cunning

That „Yus“ at the end there is the most relatable thing to ever be spoken by the Big E.

@nooneinparticular5256

11 ай бұрын

Gave me tts flashbacks

That YUS was pure TTS energy

Hearing the Emperor say "ONE FEMBOY!" Almost like a command because if I was in front of the empire of humanity I'm listening to him till the ends of the earth

@tylermcneeley3136

11 ай бұрын

This is why people follow him

@Flesh_Wizard

5 ай бұрын

One femboy to rule them all

Malcador: "why do you want a femboy?" The Emperor: "counterpoint, why DON'T you want a femboy?" 😂😂😂😂

@tylermcneeley3136

11 ай бұрын

He's got a good point, why WOULDN'T anyone want a Femboy?

@astral3997

11 ай бұрын

​@@tylermcneeley3136people who aren't gay or bisexual, demisexual so femboys are fine with me but I can understand why

@tylermcneeley3136

5 ай бұрын

Girls can be attracted to femboys too.

By the emperor this video is so hilarious😂😂0:22 especially this part, I was laughing so hard that I had a stomach ache(must be the emperor punching me in the stomach with his psychic power)(lol)

@IdioticSynergy

Жыл бұрын

I'm glad you enjoyed the video mate

Emperor: I want 20 beautiful buff men. Malcador: Maybe we should throw some women in the grou- Emperor: BEAUTIFUL MEN, MALCADOR!

Big E: Okay, heres what we got: One can be a quiet gigachad! One can be [REDACTED] One can be a femboy! One can be a salty robot nerd! One can be a speedy boi! One can be a furry! One can be a stubborn tank! One can be a crazy batman! One can be a pretty, vampire angel! One can be a cyborg blacksmith! One can be [REDACTED] One can be a sadboy bodybuilder! One can be a RTS obsessed nerd! One can be a stinky grim reaper! One can be a red, nipple-fetish mage! One can be a used car salesman! One can be a little, bald me! One can be a perpetual cinnamon roll! One can be a super edgy crow man! One can be a pair of agent twins! Malcador: ......Erda, back me up here, this is getting out of hand. Erda: Nope, this is a terrible idea and I love it. Neoth, make the furry a werewolf and I'll help.

@paulusillyriusiudathaddaio2530

5 ай бұрын

Not an Erda fan but making her part of this makes it even funnier But hell that Neoth makes me wanna vomit

@WhyisAlpharius69

3 ай бұрын

Leetu: …Daddy? Where is daddy?

It should have included Malcador's suggestion about daughters.

So the primarchs are basically the power puff girls and the warp was their chemical X?

Big E:"I want 20 sons." Malcador:"But i don't have a womb." Big E:"well, make one!" Malcador: [Insert Tony Stark Forging Scene]

@freekill1018

6 ай бұрын

I love how malcador is just fed up with all of big E's crap having to constantly appease his childlike whims like a father with his oversized kid.

@Flesh_Wizard

5 ай бұрын

"he made this in a cave"

@Jera_thuraiz

4 ай бұрын

​@@Flesh_Wizard"With a box of scraps!"

@orion3253

4 ай бұрын

I mean, given how the Thunder Warrior project ended up you might be onto something.@@Jera_thuraiz

If there only 1 femboy was planned, why Sanguinius and Fulgrim fit so well in that descripcion?

@semorebutts2584

Жыл бұрын

Neither of them are the Femboy. The Femboy is subject 11 and he's locked in the depths of the imperial palace.

@silverbladeofnorth7345

11 ай бұрын

Sanguinius is literal gigachad, long haires doesnt make you femine

@danang5

11 ай бұрын

they're not femboy,they're femman

@semorebutts2584

11 ай бұрын

@@danang5 no

@silverbladeofnorth7345

11 ай бұрын

@@danang5 there is nothing "femine" on them they have long haires and face that is cared off. Yet their skull and face shape is manly, their proportions are manly.Being handsome wint making anyone femboy

It took Malcador 30 seconds to realize Big E wasn't suggesting they should have sex in the lab. At least not this time

I mean I can see the Emperor's logic, most of them were instructed to use every possible form of diplomacy in the great crusade, and Charm would be a large factor in how well that would've gone

@thejuiceking2219

8 ай бұрын

in that case it would make even more sense to make them women "you will submit to the imperium!" "ʸᵉˢ ᵐᵒᵐᵐʸ"

@theenderdestruction2362

7 ай бұрын

​@@thejuiceking2219.... That time of the month

Emperor to Guilliman and Johnson: and that's how I made you guys

Malcador: Yo, Big-E, i can't handle 20 children, man. Big-E: That's not what i MEAN! Me: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.

Later Malcador: Why do i count 21?

I love how the Big E sounds when he says "YUS". It's so pure and innocent, I could not have expected that out of him.

Big E: "ONE FEMBOY!" and thus Fulgrim became a thing.

Malcador was vaguely disappointed big E didnt intend to smash. Can't blame him tbh

Emperor: i almost forgot, and a big black men with glowing red eyes. Malcador: o god why i have to do this?

*Malcador sees Fulgrim and Sanguinius* I SAID "ONE"!

@nikolthomas2544

2 ай бұрын

Big E made two, "just in case"

"Why DON'T you want a femboy?" Best counterpoint ever. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

"I want 20 buff men" he like me fr

Ultra Intelligence. Super strength. And hyper charisma. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect warrior. But the Emperor accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction: the Warp. Thus, the Primarchs were born! Using their ultra, super skills, Lion'El Jonson, [Redacted], Fulgrim, Perturabo, Jaghatai Khan, Leman Russ, Rogal Dorn, Konrad Curze, Sanguinius, Ferrus Manus, [Redacted], Angron, Roboute Guilliman, Mortarion, Magnus the Red, Horus Lupercal, Lorgar Aurelian, Vulkan, Corvus Corax, and Alpharius have dedicated their lives to fighting Xenos and anti-Imperium forces!"

@KingLich451

5 ай бұрын

a c c i d e n t a l l y

I'm pretty sure they made two femboys He's called Girly-Man for a reason

@wolfbane7497

Жыл бұрын

roboute guilliman is not the fem-boy if anyone the fem-boy it's magnus

@randomarcgunner4543

Жыл бұрын

@@wolfbane7497 So there are three then Oh wait, I just remembered Sanguinius exists so it's four

@wolfbane7497

Жыл бұрын

@@randomarcgunner4543 noooo just sanguinius and fulgrim

@commanderdenta

Жыл бұрын

as a blood angel player the fuck is going on here

@AdeptKing

Жыл бұрын

Uhh are you sure you don’t mean Sanguinius? Guilliman is literally Dorn that smiles slightly more.

Malcador need it's own book... the stories on that book would be WILD.

@Ranulfdatank

5 ай бұрын

it`d have more redactions than the SCP database >.

I have feeling that this is more or less the same kind of conversation that a DM has with an obstinate player and his character with a cringe-inducing background.

With that kind of orders, i can kinda understand why malcador ask "any woman?"

@tandava-089

4 ай бұрын

Can't worry about dudes porkin or mistreating your daughters if you don't have any daughters 🧠

Malcador: Dude, are you drunk?? E: Yeehhh.... very, very drunk.... But that's beside the point! This would be the opuss magnum of my creations. My 20 buff beautiful males will help me to get the galaxy in order. Malcador: Maybe we should talk to Constantine about this E: He'll be ok with this. I promise. Malcador: ... Ok, but can I sujest make some of them girls, just so we can sell some goodies? E: I already sujested a Femboy, take it or leave it Malcador: Ok! Ok

"and that is how you children are born" the emperor end his bedtime story .."in the end I made vampires and werewolf" look at fulgrim "and the femboy"

Inaccurate emps called them son's

“And one that straight up looks like a demon with grey skin and glowing orange eyes who is massive but only hugs people.”

The idea of the Big E and Malcador being essentially oddball old homosexuals with a platonic but almost married-like relationship with Malcador being the dour pervert with slightly more forethought being moreso the father of the imperium than it's regent is fucking hilarious to me lol

big E got one of each, Vampire, werewolf, and femboy

*in a godly booming voice* ONE FEMBOY idk why this gets me so well

"Why don't you want a femboy?" that's a pretty good argument to be honest

I think we all know the femboy is Lorgar. Fulgrim might be a sword swallower but god dammit he picked that bolter and threw it at the enemy. Lorgar was the one crying about "Oh let's all be friends and worship daddy" "Could we not fight boho" fing femboys

@adaeptzulander2928

11 ай бұрын

Either Lorgar or one of the missing Primarchs. Yes, Fulgrim was absolutely bishonen, but Lorgar was absolutely the worst cowardly fighter: think screaming little emo girl while big monsters growl at him. I like the scene at Istvan V where Curze had to save him from Corax. Curze was disgusted, and told Fulgrim to go back to killing Astartes with his "pretty little hammer."

@tylermcneeley3136

11 ай бұрын

You sir have no faith in Femboys to be badass. Report to your local Commissar for Summary Execution.

Why is Fulgrim always considered a femboy but Sanguinius isnt, the disrespect man ;-;

@ajente2o254

Жыл бұрын

I feel like Sangui can be considered a Twink But not a femboy

@r30413

Жыл бұрын

This gey logic is beyond me...

@boredbrewer1998

Жыл бұрын

​@@r30413I am starting to see why homophobia is increasing among the younger generations. This and the old man twerking in front of a group of kids.

@gachilord8814

Жыл бұрын

Because Sanguinius is a chad

@ajente2o254

Жыл бұрын

@@boredbrewer1998 that people doesn't represnt us in the same way than extremist religious doen't represent religious people (Sorry for my bad english)

Technically all primarchs are good looking. But you spend time with them preferably at a distance or not giving a shit as you watch your lord tortures a criminal

Femboys are needed for diversity at the least and flavor for the fans

@blackwing3629

Жыл бұрын

Also which one's the femboy konrad? Corvus? Magnus? Or fulgrim?

@riven5677

Жыл бұрын

Have you seen konrad when he didn’t take care of himself

@user-ex1bx3hd8l

Жыл бұрын

​@@blackwing3629fulgrim have you read the books that describe him

@OK-yy6qz

5 ай бұрын

​@@blackwing3629 Vulcan

big E is truly a man of culture.

Malcador should have just said "we should just clone Ryan Reynolds 19 times"

Idk why but i love the YUS! - reminds me of TTS for some reason

Daddy-E...

This is simple but genuinely clever

Lately I've been getting the feeling that the shaman souls reincarnating into one body didn't quite manage to all fit into one body, and so two conglomerate embodied souls were created - the Emperor and Malcador. Also, I've started wondering about whether there are other kinds of relationships between Malcador and E - like Malcador being a bit wiser, more patient, and more practical, and being the true power of the Imperium, and E being the brasher, more extrovert and warlike figurehead on the throne...

Bro really almost prevented fulgrims exsistence.

That "yus" got me😂

“make two of them really like forts but make only one likable” “okay so you wanted two goths and now this?” “nothing sexier then a construction workers working on a fort” “OH so the werewolf one and the vampire one are like a twilight thing?” “….the fuck is a twilight”

Malcador's Freudian Slip tho... My guy- D U D E

Technically, Vulcan is a furry. (Or rather a scalie.) Corvus is a goth, and Perdurabo is a medieval LARPer.

The Coffin of Roboute and his 20 sisters brought me here!

Thank the emperor Malkador agreed to the compromise. Otherwise, we might not have had Angron.

This is lore accurate.

Erda getting away with the Scattering is still one of my favorite bits of lore.

Emperor: can we make uh.... Malcador: what? Emperor: a televangelist too? Lorgar: ohaaa.. ohaaaa..

Big E is for Rapresentation One kid for every kind

"They must be hot and that is all that matters malcador, hot and buff and diverse. Like a hot guy party and I'm everyone's daddy! Not like that you old pervert". At this point i barely remember canon. Its just too damn true funny.

i think the inquisition would call this heresy. but personlly i just think its funny that the big E is this weird.

"Why don't YOU want a femboy?" Asking the most important of questions just then and there

This is probably pretty close to canon ngl

Malcador sounds exactly like the man with the unimpressive beard from Disco elysium.

Poor Femboy Lorgar....

I assume that one femboy led to the birth of the Maid Marines?

The YUS of compromised victory

0:20 malcador being such a bro, he was, if possible, willing to at least attempt to get pregnant by the emperor to give birth to the primarchs. I'd like to imagine an alternate future where erda backs out early and the emperor turns to malcador like "sorry malcador, plan b, use your pysker power to make yourself a woman for a little bit" lol

now that I think about it every primarch fits the romantic lover archetype very well Alpharius Omegon: twins Angron: jock Corvus corax: emo Ferrus: anger issues Fulgrim: femboy Horus: toxic daddy issues Jaghatai: biker Konrad Curze: goth Leman Russ: hot werewolf Lion-El: white horsed prince Lorgar: religious Magnus: geek Mortarion: emotionally codependent Perturabo: nerd Roboute Gulliman: businessman Rogal Dorn: house husband Sangunius: hot vampire Vulcan: * * *

@KingLich451

5 ай бұрын

id switch corax and kurze.

my ears it bleed XD both in pain and funny hahaahah well played you crazy va

I neve thought the phrase "one femboy" could ever sound cool. But the Emperor is above such trivialities.

The "yus" at the end got me.

I think he's talking about angron on being the femboy

No vampires or werewolves ay? *Hides Leman Russ and Sanguinius in a cubby"

Malcador the based af.

And this is why half his sons hated him.

turns out there was a second femboy, that being roga-sanguinius

It's better to say it to your friend's face: I've known you long enough to know you're not going to be a good father figure!

Fulgrim in an anime skirt is something I could never imagine.

My god. I love this. The dynamic between these two are like father and son. But those father and son are ok going at it for some reason

Better then the actual lore.

Fun fact: just like Astolfo (in canon, not memes), Fulgrim had plenty of women.

@markmonoton6224

5 ай бұрын

Doesnt mean he didnt have plenty of men too

The perfect response "Why don't you want femboys?" LOL