My siblings and my father were my biggest bullies growing up. 30 years later without thinking I can tell you I'm better off mentally then they are. I quit alcohol 6 years ago and they can't function without it.

@TheKrispyfort

Жыл бұрын

Congrats, and may you thrive in the next six.

@charlesdeblanc3386

Жыл бұрын

Most bullies are such because of internal strife. Glad you were able to overcome it yourself.

@timesthree5757

Жыл бұрын

And no alcohol is better?

@TheKrispyfort

Жыл бұрын

@@charlesdeblanc3386 and some just get off on it

@greed94

Жыл бұрын

@@timesthree5757 No alcohol ADDICTION is better, yes.

"It's okay for life to be hard." No truer words.

@robertgold7652

Жыл бұрын

The right way is usually harder than the wrong way. The wrong way is usually easy

@OffGridInvestor

Жыл бұрын

In many ways it's usually INEVITABLE

@MonkeyJedi99

Жыл бұрын

@@robertgold7652 Very Yoda.

@robertgold7652

Жыл бұрын

@@MonkeyJedi99 the bad grammar or the wisdom? Lol

@MonkeyJedi99

Жыл бұрын

@@robertgold7652 Mostly the wisdom. The grammar is too... normal... to be full Yoda Better next time you may try! Hahaha!

I actually confronted my childhood bully as an adult. He didn't even recognize me, it was 20 years later. Told him that I remembered him and that I'm the one he used to beat up in elementary school. He began to apologize profusely. I said it was OK. Shook his hand and we talked a bit. Found out years later that he died of a massive drug overdose shortly after we talked. Still pulls at my heart when I think about it. He was a good person inside.

@VMM34

Жыл бұрын

No he wasn't a good person, he just put on a good act for an hour while you chatted

@romainsavioz5466

Жыл бұрын

​@@VMM34🤦🏻‍♂️

@SpaceShipDeathstar

9 ай бұрын

I would get so many kicks out of that knowledge.

@jackkraken3888

9 ай бұрын

I'm not sure he was a good person inside but at least he felt some pain caused by his bullying.

@Kharnellius

6 ай бұрын

@VMM34 I’m so glad you were there to probably assess the situation. I believe you more than the OP.

I was bullied for 10 years, almost daily. I was, and still am, the fat dorky kid at 43. It took 8 of those years of me fighting back and physically engaging with them for my father to come to me after it got so bad that I was almost suspended, to give me the best advice ever, ignore them, do not give in to their taunts. Be stronger then they are. When they realize that they cannot get to you it will no longer be fun. It took two years for that to finally settle down, but it did. You are right it made me stronger. However for me it might have back fired too. Years later by just ignoring it and not dealing with it and releasing the built up frustration and not developing the tools to handle it, I became depressed and angry. I took it out on my then girlfriends and future wife. I was jailed for abuse multiple times, until I finally got the help needed and dug myself out. What you said about bullying making you stronger is true. The bigger thing is though to help those kids that you see being bullied and making sure they have the tools to deal with the frustration, the anger, the sadness, etc., that comes with it. Without that support it will backfire. We need the people out there to be observant, and step in stop the bullying, but not just stop there, make sure the person being bullied is also ok, and check in with them regularly. Help them with tools to deal with it. This is the only way to stop the cycle. Great story James. Thank you for the discussion.

@matthewcronin8356

Жыл бұрын

Sorry to say if that is what happened you didn't deal with it you just turned into something else. You held in abuse and put it on someone else. Dealing with it would be getting stronger mentally and physically.

@dasboots3272

Жыл бұрын

It sounds like it took you way too long to learn. Don't give in to taunts. Don't met words bother you. But when they start with physical violence then you return with that. And you don't bottle the anger and turn it others. You convert the anger into another form. A drive to succeed. The easiest outlet is physical like the gym or sports. Feel your emotions but control them. I hope you are finally able to do this.

@phillipgrendzinski6513

Жыл бұрын

@@matthewcronin8356 you are right I didn't deal with the bullying, I didn't learn how to properly deal with the emotions that stemmed from it. As a result it backfired, and only then did I get the help needed.

@phillipgrendzinski6513

Жыл бұрын

@Dasboots32 I will never condone violence. I did first fight back physically, but for me that egged them on, they wanted to get that rise out of me. They thought it was fun. As stated, yes I know I didn't deal with it originally, I bottled it up, I didn't have the tools to work through the feelings I had. What you suggested would have helped, maybe. Working out or sports could help some people, and if it helps them great. It didnt for me, i needed other help, other tools. No one person is the same, there are so many things out there to help people deal with, understand, and work through their feelings. IMO, again, violence is not the answer. Violence only begets more violence.

@JohnPaul-ol5zl

Жыл бұрын

@phillipgrendzinski6513 you are correct my fellow man. When one is helping another through whatever issues, it is important to be observant on if the method/tool is working properly. Sometimes you have to modify it or supplement it with something else. I Pray that you continue to improve in your life each day. We all have that need of self improvement, as it helps us as individuals but also the family and friends around us. My job/employer has caused me so much damage that I have passed it onto those I am supposed to love....my family. I'm not excusing myself but most employers do not give a damn about you nor your family. I am some what better the past couple of years, but the abuse from my employer for well over a decade is a stain I cannot wash off.

As someone who was the scape goat for all the families problems and bullied daily for 20 years, I approve this video.

@OffGridInvestor

Жыл бұрын

I know where you're coming from partially. My parents are insistent that I love life how they would have, complete with DECADES of nagging from a scarcity mentality.

@jend8759

Жыл бұрын

Same. I was my mom’s scapegoat and have PTSD from it. I have forgiven her, though.

I was bullied and agree 100% with you. When I became a parent, my kids were bullied and made better people because of it. I had a high school counselor ask me how I raised two such strong minded, independent and confident children. I simply said, I always let them face their own adversities in life. I'd only step in if things went too far, I didn't baby them at the slightest hint of a conflict. I'm not always going to be there to fight their battles, I needed to teach them to take care of their own....and they do. They went to school where the "helicopter parent" was really prevalent...parents where there all the time. I rarely had to go...but if I did....they found I was just as strong minded as my children and no weenie administrator was going to fluff talk me about anything.

Absolutely agree. I was mercilessly bullied to an extreme growing up but once I learned to not have a victim mentality. I grew tremendously. I learned to be strong. I learned my bullies were the weak ones, and that gave me all the power I needed.

Glad to see someone with a realistic approach to this problem. It's so often I hear people with opinions about bullying that have no feasibility in the real world.

Personally I blame squirrels

@knuttsackjones3094

Жыл бұрын

They really are natures asshole

@slantedshark3853

Жыл бұрын

I agree

@workingstiff0586

Жыл бұрын

Oh my God, why did you mess with the squirrels

@rockneysloan9209

Жыл бұрын

They should all be registered!

@Dragonalynn

Жыл бұрын

I feed the squirrels.

There's a deeper dimension when the parents are the main bullies.

@joywebster2678

10 ай бұрын

Mine were, but I used that as a kid to protect all the girls in my elementary school class against the boys who were bullies. I hated my parents bullying of me so much, I protected others. Yep took some ounces as a girl that hurt, but mainly the other boys would join in to help, while another girl should go get a teacher. Yes decades later I'm still scarred by the parental abuse, but I chose Nursingvas a career and spent my life trying to help make it better for others.

Absolutely agree with your assessment of the unexpected benefits of childhood difficulties. Growing up with two alcoholic parents was awful, but it also gave me a backbone of steel and made me resilient, funny, and very, very resourceful. I got the heck out of there once I could, and have thrived and succeeded as an adult. Not a victim. But believe me, good counseling was essential. Life is good.

That’s what I say about my years of drug addiction. Beating that monster showed me a strength and perseverance I never imagined I could accomplish. Now, hard times and mental pain are not as overwhelming. I’m also much more thankful for the little blessings. Yep, you nailed this. It also gives us a glimpse of why you’re so successful and well liked. 🤗

@July1st1867

Жыл бұрын

congrats on your sobriety!

@megbertch138

Жыл бұрын

@@July1st1867 thank you so much! It’s been 8 years, but that is not a terror easily forgotten.

@reneeroberts3121

Жыл бұрын

🎉

Exceedingly wise words from a fellow who has walked the walk. Thank you for your thoughts and perspective, 100% on target.

@Donnaeckerson8

Жыл бұрын

James, you are one hell of a smart man. I never thought of bullying from that point of view! You are absolutely 💯 % correct! Building character in a child is letting them live life and dealing with the good AND the bad! Thank you for your great way of thinking!

@julespeace684

Жыл бұрын

@@Donnaeckerson8, I agree with you 1000%! What a humble & kind man he is!🤙🏽

Know your enemy and keep them close..

Two thumbs up. Who I am today, they made me. One other thing they helped me learn, in a world filled with A**holes, I don't need to be one of them.

@priscillawagner6205

Жыл бұрын

1000%

I was bullied all throughout elementary and middle school. I was a very short kid, scrawny, and I read a LOT of books. I was the stereotypical nerd. It got so bad that it gave me serious anxiety and paranoia that I still have traces of today. Then when I got to high school I realized that everybody has insecurities, everybody has their own doubts, and worries if they're doing things right. There are so many types of bullies, but many of them do it because of their insecurities and want to seem stronger. After that realization I became less interested in what my bullies thought, and started working on doing what I can to make my life better. I still have flaws. I still have anxiety and paranoia from my childhood days. But I've also removed flaws. I worked incredibly hard to be someone that I could be proud of. Bullies suck. But they can help you grow stronger, and become who helps those in the same situation.

Standing up to bullies isn't always safe... My wife's ex-boyfriend's niece finally had enough and stood up to her bully. It ended with the niece being stabbed to death, watched by a crowd, including her little sister.

@sadjaxx

Жыл бұрын

So terrible.

@nancyfunk615

Жыл бұрын

I am so sorry

@johndekkers7845

Жыл бұрын

It's like, o crap this isn't the '80s anymore......

@donnlowe9129

Жыл бұрын

That is a shame a crowd of cowards standing by letting the bully murder A young woman.

@OffGridInvestor

Жыл бұрын

@@donnlowe9129 nobody wants to get involved and save anyone these days. Self preservation and all that. I heard of a welfare bum girl who owed another one equivalent of about US$28 for about 18 months and was killed FOR THAT.

Seeing this after getting bullied by co workers all day is a great encouragement, but I can also feel that there is no hope of "graduating", they'll still be there four years from now. The problem will be there until I move on which is kind of dissapointting at the same time, but otherwise still a great encouragement

@priscillawagner6205

Жыл бұрын

Start the job search!!! I waited too long and it made me physically ill. I collapsed at work and was diagnosed with a heart condition. Leave now!!!

@VMM34

Жыл бұрын

I agree with the other commenter, take steps to leave asap. Why do you even want to be in that atmosphere? I'd tell them to f.o. as soon I could

As the person who generally gets mad at KZread’s algorithms, cause they promote the weird tangents from my searches, this was a good one. I agree with this - it’s tough, and for a moment there, I was questioning if it was just more toxic positivity, but I think your ‘ownership of outcome’ wins for me. 😊

I like this take on Bullying. I had been bullied in elementary school, middle school & high school and learned how to deal with them much like the way you did. This is indeed character building moments.

@Oysters176

5 ай бұрын

My whole family were bad people, narcs that desired to destroy me, granted my mother didn't want to destroy me, but she also did not want well for me, it was all relative of course, school and society was also often ableist, so while I made 'friends' for appearances sake, I knew my real friends would come in the form of bullies or people who played Yugioh or did other things, that is how I'd make my actual friends, I'll help out whom I need to, adopt what I need to adopt, negotiate and use people, keep distance, and know how to walk around people, protect people, understand what I cannot allow to be negotiated away, understand my own psychology, and my families, I got to understand nurture/nature of course.. As I said, family are evil, so it is extremely relevant, became abit evil myself.. negotiated the sort of man I became with my girlfriend, and her friends parents, and negotiated what she'd be. Tested out the theories I could scientifically, used metaphors.. Used my wit..

I agree. Grew up hard, fast, and the community bullied me based on my lineage. By the time I joined the Army the beatings and roughness of basic /deployments was absolutely nothing. Knew who I was when I was 12.

For a person to become better they must overcome challenges. Bullies create social challenges. This is not always a bad thing. Support the one being attacked. Well said.

We have spent so much time telling people bullies are bad and almost zero time telling people how to deal with bullies.

I've always been happy I was bullied when I was in School, it made me a stronger person and taught me real quick who my friends were and what people to avoid. It also taught me that if you don't experience that type of hardship when you're young and you're coddled and kept safe all your life when life decides to give you the ol' backhand and take a dump on your front porch you're more able and capable to deal with it.

The problem we have today isn't that bullying is more prevalent than it's been in the past, it's that social media has made it much more emotionally scaring. When I was growing up (I'm slightly older than James), bullying was an in-person affair. I only had to be concerned about my interactions with bullies when they happened upon me. Today bullying can occur 24-7 and it happens in the public square of social media, you get no respite from it. Bullies are ultimately cowards, they only attack those who appear weaker than they are. Social media has allowed more people to become bullies since they can attack without needing to be physically intimidating. I don't know the solution to this. One possibility could be to limit the amount of time teens can spend on social media, giving kids a respite similar to what I had growing up when I left school for the day. Unfortunately, since the profits of social media companies are directly linked to how long you spend on their platforms, we're unlikely to get any meaningful restrictions put on the accounts of teens.

I agree bullied my whole life and abused at home but it made me a person who could serve the military, and defend are freedoms and a person who is so tough willed that I have a blood disorder that is slowly killing me. I have had since I was 25 going to be 43, but because of being bullied I can mentally handle, and physically, and emotionally handle what this is doing to me. Great video, love the content James

Right on! I was bullied thoughout my school period just like you. I'm currently about to turn 30 and have heard several comments on my personality throughout my life that they have never seen such an emotionly strong and mature character in a person before. I then tell a story similar to yours and they also usually don't know how to interpret it. 😅 "What doesn't end you, makes you stronger". 😉

I too was bullied in middle school, to the point of repeated injury. What it taught me was I couldn't trust adults to protest children/myself, including my parents. It taught me I was on my own and had to take care of myself in every way. It made me selfish (not always a good thing in my life) and it made me not care about what anyone thinks. Long term I celebrated that the bully is long dead, his path having taken him to an early demise. Best of all I hadn't thought of any of this in decades.

my grandfather told me something 45 years back. that that does not kill you will make you stronger. yes i was bullied my self in school till i got bigger. love the video.

@jetthelooter

Жыл бұрын

the corollary is "that which does not kill you, makes you wish it had..."

@lyfandeth

Жыл бұрын

That's a quote attributed to Nietsche, if I recall. It only makes you stronger if it does not break you, and we ALL have breaking points.

Truth. ❤

I so get this!!! Plus, he is right too much time, and effort is used to stop bullies. Thanks, James!!

Fully agree. Life has been full of "hard times" but, like you I am who I am because of facing all those challenges and wouldn't wish any of it away. Love and peace.

@VMM34

Жыл бұрын

Yes being lower class and lacking options is the way to go

@gailratliff7592

Жыл бұрын

I call it common sense, real people who have more class than all the elitist. We are all Human Beings and I am only an American who thinks for themselves and puts God, Family, and Honor above all else.

I agree. We moved around a lot as a kid. The new kid is always a target. I may not win, but you'll know I was there and probably not want a second dose. I came out of it pushing people to do their best and helped them as best I could. Great video James!

Great advice James! This vid is loaded with SOLID content 👊👊👊. I genuinely wish people could grasp these concepts. But the reality is, those who will benefit and come out better people will. The rest will just remain mediocre people... Carry on and keep growing!

It's far more important to be able to perceive, fight and win against disguised mental bullying.

I was horribly bullied until I hit 6 feet tall going into high school and found the weight room. Then I became known as don't bully him or anyone near him because my hands gained an e for everyone rating. I was a terror to the bullies in my school. Best part was all the teachers knew what I was about so they'd generally develop blindness and deafness. This was around the turn of the millennium.

Damn excellent observation. Long before I was bullied in school and more noticeable later in life, I was an only child with parents that couldn't be bothered to actually give a shit. I have been the guy that provides for his family, gives his word and keeps it, solves problems and gets stuff done. BUT I never did reconcile that picked on and bullied part of my life except for my retaliation I took in future events, I earned a reputation for overkill in that something occurred and I responded at the 4th level. I thought about what would be appropriate after it went back and forth four times...and did that. However still hated the bullied part until now, it is true, I'm stronger wiser and play the long game now. My bullies taught me well.

Amen brother! Thats exactly how I feel about dealing with bullies. Let their actions be the fuel to drive you to being the best you can be.

Totally agree. Ive experienced bullies growing up, my character grew stronger and they learned that not all smaller kids will tolerate being harassed.

If a person survives and thrives, it's on the person, not their bullies. I love this story because it illustrates, alls well that ends well.🎉🎉🎉

I completely agree with your position. I’m a professor at a college (in mathematics) and see a lot of the effects of being soft and coddling children.

@solutionsforabrightfuture3579

Жыл бұрын

Well why don't you go against Mike Tyson every week for a year and tell me how much stronger you are? Kids should never fear for their safety. Oh and the ring no referee or rules just like in school when their are no adults around.

❤ I love your perspective!!! The world NEEDS more men like you!!

100% agree. Growing up I didn't have the best home life. That resulted in me going to 20+ different schools while growing up so I was eternally the new kid. Bullies love the new kid. Yes school was not fun for me. But today my skin is so thick nothing can penetrate it. I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for getting beat up and always being in fights through my younger years.

as a female, who was bullied by males there was no fighting back. I learned the hard way if I fought back I got it twice as bad. my father taught me that, so did my second husband. no one stood up for me and now i choose to live alone. no one beats me up anymore.

@kimberlylholt

Жыл бұрын

I am so sorry.

@poppy7380

8 ай бұрын

Congratulations on the growth and strength and the happier you!

I was bullied by several classmates in my early school years. By highschool they were all hoping I didn't hold a grudge. But the best part was that I had largely forgotten about it until a friend told me two of them (they were twin brothers) were transferring to my school and we're worried I'd be looking for payback. It was enough knowing they were worried.😊

Absolutely! Didn't like getting beaten up nor maced or even stabbed in my high-school years. But taught me perseverance and learned to do my best and if others don't like it, that will be their problem. Toughened me up for life.

I feel the same way, I couldn't care less how others think of me. I was bullied at home by the ent kik re household as a kid. I got bullied during the first half of my schooling as a kid. But I can attribute my emotional strength almost solely to that. Thanks to those tough times, I learned to stand up for myself and stop caring what others think and say. It also taught me how to determine who is truly family or friends and who isnt. Bullying either damages you or you learn from it and become tougher. It sucks, but it's a fact of life that nobody can stop all the bullies in the world. There will always be someone mad or jealous of your success. Always be people trying to do you wrong physically or emotionally or mentally or some other way. Always people who will talk trash about you. The only difference is when you stop letting it affect you, you become stronger and wiser. Nobody can save everyone. Not even fictional people like superman batman or other heroes/superheroes are able to save everyone. And ordinary people dont have that kind of power or wealth. Yes you can stop some, and absolutely do. But also dont let it bother you knowing you cant save everyone.

Good video. The volume is a little low though.

I totally agree, but only if the one being bullied isn't vulnerable or disadvantaged in some way that they can't control, i e., disabilities, ethnicities, or socioeconomic status as a kid. Your message rings so true with us adults, and parents need to instill this in their kids, else they all melt away under the heat with the rest of the snowflakes.

@30dcanon

Жыл бұрын

You posted exactly what I was going to say. 👏👏

@SaxaphoneMan42

Жыл бұрын

how does ones ethnicity make them vulnerable or disadvantaged?

@dasboots3272

Жыл бұрын

​@@SaxaphoneMan42it doesn't. People just don't want to live in reality. And even then it doesn't matter. Your ethnicity is part of who you and you'll never be able to change any advantages or disadvantages that come with it. You can only make the most of it.

@SaxaphoneMan42

Жыл бұрын

@@dasboots3272 I agree, I'm just very confused as to why OP felt the need to throw ethnicity in there, disabilities I understand, low socioeconomic status I understand all too well (even though OP just said 'socioeconomic status'). Ethnicity being thrown in sounds like a virtue signal more than anything.

This is the best advice i've heard in a long time. I had a similar experience. And there's no greater feeling than sharing beers with a guy. Who's bullied you for your whole life and he has a broken nose.

LOVE that saying - "Make bullies irrelevant."

Ely, bullying makes people stronger. Except, when it doesn't. A good 49% of people who are bullied will be less able to handle that bullying than average. I feel for the kids who don't have the support and confidence to come out stronger on the other side.

@blueovalfan23

Жыл бұрын

It's different generation. The kids now are different. The couple I work with, in their early 20's are soft. Low expectations and held to lower standards than I was. I promise the pressure that I carried before the changes would have broken them. I blame many things but it's very clear they grew up differently, easier.. hardship makes us stronger. If they don't have the mentality to standup for themselves or go out swinging, we've got problems down the road.

@rmoore850

9 ай бұрын

Where’d you pull that percentage out from. Because it has a certain smell to it.

@7sedumct

9 ай бұрын

​@@rmoore850it's the definition of "average".

@ James Butler. DUDE, GET A BETTER MIC...COULD NOT HEAR THIS

@Dragonalynn

Жыл бұрын

Yes! I had to check if everything was turned up all the way, and it was.

@DaveCompton5150

Жыл бұрын

I didn't have any issues hearing him. Maybe you should get a hearing aid? 🤣🤣

@margueritemitchell1829

Жыл бұрын

Me too

@Dragonalynn

Жыл бұрын

@@DaveCompton5150 You had your earbuds in? I work from a laptop and have excellent hearing for my age. I could only hear him when I finally put it on my lap instead of the three feet away from that I normal have it.

It's the support you have that , that often defines how you react when bullied. So that missing support is worse for you than the bulling/problems

Spoken perfectly! Excellent words of wisdom a person can pass down to his/her kids Thank you!

Thank you for this message. I appreciate the way you shared it very much. I was bullied all through my school years, and even into early adulthood. I was always made fun of because of my size. I then started to make fun of myself in high school. This made the bullies laugh and they backed off of the bulling for the most part. Recently a friend of mine asked me why I make fun of myself so much. She told me that it makes her sad to hear me do that. I explained to her that no bully can say anything worse to me than what I can say about myself. She didn't really have a comeback for that. In more recent years being bullied helped be to stand up for myself and refuse to be bullied any longer. Bullies don't like to be stood up to AT ANY AGE in fact when you have a bully that is older and farther along in life standing up to them really rocks their world. It's okay to stand up for yourself, it's not easy and you learn more from it being hard. The feeling you get from standing up for yourself is definitely worth it.

Well spoken - well thought out - a good take on life and it’s struggles - a man I would be proud to stand beside.

As a person who was bullied because of atusim. Bullying was a major part of what prepared me for the real world and I'm great full for it.

My wife was bullied, but was told "ignore them, and they'll go a way." She couldn't ignore them, and they didn't go away. Now she has severe social anxiety, which has kept her from doing a lot. My sister and I were bullied, but we were told not to take shit from people, never start a fight, but finish it if it happens. Neither one of care what people think of us, we don't take shit, and we're both successful. She was quick to take the gloves off in school, where I got a reputation of someone who would stand there daring them to hit me, then show them to be the fool they were. Eventually, I had friends that were bullies, jocks, nerds, girls, the little guys, and slow kids. The bullies and jocks respected me because I helped them academically. Nerds were my peers. The slow kids liked how I treated them with respect. And the girls and little guys hung around me for protection. I keep it light and fun, and everything runs smoothly. In fact, the only altercation that happened when I was around was between the superintendent's son and me. He got away with a lot of crap because of who his father was. And, he didn't like me because I was liked more than he was. After gym one day, he decided in the locker room corridor, where the teacher couldn't see, he was going to take me on. He said, "get away from me, you fat f'ck!" And shoved me. Being the idiot he was, he didn't realize that when you try to move someone a foot taller and at least twice your weight, you're not getting too far. I glared down at him as I let my book bag fall off my left shoulder and put my right hand across his chest, taking a half step, I slammed him against the wall, got right in his face and yelled, "you don't f'ck with me!" His buddies, who were the other bullies, instead of shielding him or ganging up on me, pulled me back begging me not to kill him. Just then the gym teacher, hearing the commotion, came around the corner and yelled, "is there a problem?" This whole time the kid is staring at me, eyes big as saucers from shock and terror, I look back at the teacher and calming answer, "I don't have a problem..." looking back at the kid, "...do you?" He quickly shook his head, still looking at me, and quietly replied, "n-no, no problem." He knew i could have easily beaten him to a pulp. From that point on, he was my lap dog, and never screwed with anyone again. He learned an important lesson that day. Some people really don't care who you think you are.

Dude that was Absolutely 100% spot on went through the same s*** all through school and when you get out into the real world and you realize that nobody really cares it definitely becomes a good Arsenal to have at your disposal in your everyday life That know that everyone else is no better than you are and you can walk into a room and not care what no one thanks and lots of sense some people that are judging are a lot worse off than you and they're just trying to cover it up and be someone but they're not just be you man and straight tell it like it is

I think the point of who to support strikes gold. Many seem to have experiences where the bullying becomes the hot potato of their youth that drains all the support structures from forming. Without the support things can turn really ugly when the bullying turns into social exclusion and decades of dissasociation. Imo we need more mentors, hobbies and trust for young people.

I Totally agree, it’s also how I learned to never give up on myself! And I am now 54 & I am grateful for those hard lessons learned.

Life is hard which makes us HARDER! Thank you for this video! I was bullied as a child but I never broke, and in high school most times it only took a certain look and the wannabe bully moved on! Those of us who survived bullying learned to bend but not break!

I absolutely agree bullying is probably one of the best teachers. What it taught me was that I had an amazing support network and that I was (mostly) in charge of the situations I got myself into. I don’t think the answer is “let kids terrorise other kids without consequences” but more “teach the kids getting bullied how to handle it. Because this bully is one of thousands you’ll meet over the course of your life” handle it by relying on the reliable people in your life. Handle it by not seeking out bullies and their kind.

You just described my life and how i turned out the way i am. Wouldn't change a thing. Being able to walk into a room and give exactly zero fucks what people think of me is the most powerful feeling ive ever had.

You are absolutely without a shadow of a doubt 100% correct when everything that you said. You can't stop the bullying All you can do is strengthen the person being bullied.

Not only do I agree, but I would actually expand a little bit. I am also tougher, more resilient, and desensitized because of being bullied. But even moreso because of being SA for 6 years by 4 different guys. That built my character even more than the bullies did. It tore me down first, but eventually it made me so much more resilient and I would say is probably what helped me finally end the bullying from the biggest, most consistent bully I had. I had enough one day. This occurred about 2 years into my 6 years of being SA. After about 3 years of him pushing me into lockers and calling me a bunch of hurtful names and me never fighting back, it caught us both by surprise when in 9th grade, first year of HS, he pushed me into a locker in a much more crowded, bigger hallway than we were used to and just kept walking and I dropped my backpack, caught up to him, grabbed his shoulder, turned him around and slammed him into a locker much harder than he ever did to me. I told him we're in HS, grow the f*** up, then let go and walked back to grab my backpack. He was stunned for a moment, though not injured, and later he apologized to me. We were never friends after that, but we did greet each other with a wave and maybe a hello when we passed in the hallways. 💪💪💪

I absolutely agree and have made this exact argument many times. Well said sir!

Bro, I stand with you 110%. I was bullied in the same manner. My bullies have dead-end jobs or were deceased by 30. I own a business, and I have grown it since I was 16. I'm not rich, but I have kept it slowly growing. 21 years later still going strong in a scarce market. While I may be average in income, I'm wealthy in community respect, and I can only grow larger.

Once again, James, you are spot on! We need the difficulties of life to help/make use grow! Keep up the good work.

I concur. The essential part is the supportive guidance. Childhood is about learning to appreciate good, learning to cope with bad, and learning to develop one's better self through all. Wise coaching, encouragement, and commiseration will create a more resilient person. Coddling is a mistake. Comforting is not coddling, but simply an understanding, as a contrast, acknowledging that there will still be problems in the world. Coddling seeks to teach a child that there is no need to face problems, that coping is not necessary, which is a dangerous fallacy. Compare it to walking. A baby slithers, then crawls, then toddles. Even after a fall, the child gets back up, and even goes so far as to run everywhere. Skinned knees get bandaged, and the joy of play outweighs the memory of the scuff. This is how we must treat bullying. Do you notice how many sickly people there are today, and how lost diseases are making a comeback, and how many diseases became resistant to ever stronger new antibiotics? It is because too many parents would wash their children's hands too much, would not let them play in dirt, would insist on antibiotics for the least illness. A generation or two of people grew with under effective immune systems, so pathogens could mutate, unchecked, and be more dangerous when transmitted. It put everyone in danger, not just the carrier. Individual survival influences communal survival, and that is best served, not by coddling, but by coping, and getting adaptable and stronger. Your message is true. What does not destroy us makes us stronger. Teach the child the lesson of the spring ( being careful of eyes, of course): Compress it and watch what energy it can release on the rebound. Compare that to a marshmallow. Squeeze it and ruin it. The child will gladly be a spring.

Thank you!!! The world needs to hear this.

You just shared my experience and my resolve. I just became stronger with every struggle and I am grateful for that

I rid myself of bullies with violence. I'm glad it worked out for you.

The spoken word cuts deeper than any thing ever will. You can use words to hurt bullies easier than you can be fighting.

I’ve watched a huge percentage of your videos with my 2 children who are 10 and 12 years old an they love your videos as much as any other KZreadr. With that said this is by far our favorite of all of them. Thank you for making this one.

👍🏻 good thoughts - I’m proud of my independence, strength, courage and resilience - and you’re right I have my bullies to thank.

I have to say I agree. Not just with this video, as I was also bullied, thought I was actually going to die at one point..... Children that don't ever lose are not ready for the real world. It's extremely difficult to watch one of my kids cry because they worked as hard as possible and still loss. But it is necessary. I just try to be encouraging and love them unconditionally. I am always so impressed with how you handle yourself. Your intelligence and perseverance are inspiring. Can't wait for your next video. Love ya!!

From a blue-collar worker, you hit the nail right on the head. That is great, wording for how the world really is. I was bullied as a kid and I turned it around. Love your videos keep it up

The two worst bullies that I've survived I've bumped into many years after school, and were the saddest people folks I've ever met.

You are truly one smart man with book smart and amazing common sense!!!! your daily posts like this is truly something i look forward to!!! i agree with you and u truly teach me so much. so thank you so these videos

You are right, bullies are a trial that you can learn self reliance from.

"No matter what you do in life, to get better you have to have perseverance". Nicely put.

Wonderful points! I absolutely agree. They just toughen you up and increase your resolve to be you! 😊

Right on fantastic message. I wish more people thought this way.

Amen, James! I got my ass handed to me a lot as a kid and handed a lot back. It eventually flipped to the point that I was popular my senior year and could discourage bullying from others who's respect I'd earned. It sucked for a few years but made me a stronger person physically and mentally to just ignore abuse.

Largely, I think you're correct. Bullying is a terrible thing that nobody should have to endure, and some people do come out better *DESPITE* it. But not everyone has the endurance or support to come out of it the way you did. I broke. My parents didn't have my back ("I'll give you something to cry about" certainly doesn't work when I came home an emotional wreck, and "ignore them" don't help, especially when ignoring them just makes them redouble their efforts, like you said) and the authority figures around me did jack squat to help, and only punished *me* when I fought back. I couldn't win. So I broke. I still can't deal with that shit. Oh, I try. But I seriously can't handle that strain anymore.

Love your content brother! The world needs more men like you. I was bullied a lot until high school. And bullied some people too. I feel horrible about it, still. Learning how to fight, once I got into high school, ended billing.

Every time I watch one of these vids it completely turns my day around, thanks James..

So true. Bullies and jerks are everywhere and they are here to stay. It is best to learn to deal with them at an early age when the stakes are usually low and not run away from them. This way when you are older and they can actually significantly affect your life, you will be able to handle them. I thank god for every bully, idiot, jerk and moron I’ve ever had to deal with, they have honestly been some of the best teachers(they don’t mean to be) that I’ve ever had in life.

Yes sir. As a former survivor of bullying in the 60s and 70s , I got tougher and more educated in the art of mental intimidating my bullies , it did not always work. Alot of fist were thrown ,some I won , some I lost . Now as a former military gentleman and businesses, I was molded in my you to perseverance and commitment.. so I agree . To many moms get involved to quickly when they stop the learning and strength the kid can gain. Yes mom's stop trying to protect your kid from all pain . Skinned knees , bruises in a kids scuffle and a occasionally a little shinner will make them boys better .

I agree. Being bullied helped me grow as a reasonable and diplomatic person instead of responding with rage. But it also taught me how to defeat most people who are complete a**holes. Take care.

James your so right I think most of us had to deal with bullies in one way or another and it does make you stronger. I enjoy watching your content and many times I am laughing along side you and maybe some of your guys but this one is a serious video but you did a great job with it.

I have to say I agree.. sure it suck's being bullied, but it tends to build great character in the long run and will fortify the mental capacity to think on your feet in almost any situation afterwards and will create a stronger person for having gone thru those trials and tribulations in the early years of life to build a good solid base on and grow from there.. you have some of the best common sense that many completely seem to lack online and definitely lacking in real life.. love your way of seeing humor in some things that would otherwise seem pretty serious to others but make it a solid teaching moment for others in the company or even a teaching moment for those watching your channel like say for instance having an employee be a man of his word after a pretty serious and possibly life threatening learning moment when it came time to pick up that sledge hammer.. him having been a man of his word also makes him a pretty decent employee in my eyes , that you can trust even more for having done so. I bet he learned his lesson and so should others if they choose to see this and say "well I'm not gonna do that anymore, that guy almost accidentally killed himself and possibly a helper if he had one along for the ride had it been any worse than it actually was.. you explained why it makes sense to keep him around so that you're not out even more money and time to train another guy that may not even be worth half as much as the current employee in the long run. Alot of folks learn when its out in the open like this for everyone to see and take something from it to use in their own lives for the better.. keep being the internet 's dad that gives out that pain-free common sense and perspectives for those to learn even more from. Wish I lived closer, I'd love to work for a great boss like you even if it was as a helper on a different truck. Not many bosses I know that I can even say that about in my own experiences in my life.. ❤❤

I was never like that .I always took up for kids that was scared.Bulling messes with some mentally, physically and emotionally.Im short so I've been there.Stay strong

Bro, I love your perspective and your content. Thank you. Great video.

I agree 100% part of life is dealing with difficult people and the bullying I went through as a kid gave me that ability

I say the same thing James! If I had not been bullied I would not be who and what I am today!

Thank you for the reminder James

Amen to the last part, build up strong people dont fret the bullies and worry about that concern yourself with loved ones and those you care for to take better care of them.