Unscripted E35: Reflecting On How We Handle Conflict In Our Marriage

In this heartfelt episode, we discuss our journey of navigating the complexities of our relationship from engagement to marriage. We share personal anecdotes and challenges, highlighting the importance of communication, patience, and understanding. Through reflective storytelling, we reveal how we manage conflicts, the role of mentors, and the significance of creating a safe emotional space within a marriage. Tune in to learn valuable lessons on maintaining a healthy relationship and growing together through life's ups and downs.
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Our first big incident before marriage
06:45 How I justified my inability to deal with uncomfortable situations - RK
08:45 I had seen the pattern - a red flag in how my wife handled disagreements - FK
11:56 My conviction for our marriage made me stay when I could have walked away - FK
14:50 I went into marriage more conscious of the cross than the joys of it. - FK
19:43 The way we handle conflict makes us drift apart.
23:40 Why I stayed when I could have reconsidered marriage - FK
26:17 Our conflicts in marriage brought me to the consciousness of men & women - FK
33:07 Our fights led me to prayer for God to help me change - RK
32:25 I learnt not to comment about everything that was going wrong - FK
37:32 Separate your partner from their weakness
40:51 Learn to let go and extend grace
46:41 Pay attention to what the devil or the spirit whispers to you in the moment of offence
49:48 It helps to separate your partner from the incidents that cause conflicts
1:01:17 Understanding women's emotions
1:03:36 The two dimensions of emotions
1:10:02 How differences cause conflict
PODCAST LINKS:
Apple: podcasts.apple.com/be/podcast...
Google: bit.ly/3WqVuOO
Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/5uzP82h...
CONNECT WITH US:
X (Formerly Twitter):
Felix Kitaka- / themutambuze
Rukh-Shana Kitaka - / rukhshana
Instagram:
/ themutambuze
/ rukhshana01
ABOUT US:
Rukh-Shana Kitaka has excelled in two careers: as a corporate communications specialist and a celebrated media personality. She received numerous awards as a prime-time news anchor, including the "Best Female TV News Anchor Award."
Felix Kitaka is a self-taught software engineer who dropped out of university in 2009 at nineteen, determined to show the world that one could succeed without a university degree. In 2021, he was hired as a Senior Software Engineer for a San Francisco-based tech company, proving that there are alternative paths to success.
Married in 2021, we now share insights on our podcast 'The Kitakas' and in our book 'The Woman’s Bait.' Based on Christian values, our content seeks to inspire hope in healthy, thriving, purpose-driven marriages.

Пікірлер: 81

  • @mirembehellen5387
    @mirembehellen5387Ай бұрын

    Banange those preparing for marriage you need not miss this segment. Mrs & Mrs Kitaka thanks for putting things into perspective. Much appreciated 🙏🙏

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    Ай бұрын

    Thanks for watching 🙏. We are always blessed to share from our experience and journey. -RK

  • @MsLakeri
    @MsLakeriАй бұрын

    Honesty on both ends is extremely commendable. Also praiseworthy is the fact that Mr. Kitaka fears the Lord so much so that he always enquires from Him of every situation he encounters. One thing I have come to learn is that life is spiritual and ought to be dealt with that way. Your podcast is such a blessing and even though I am not married yet, I know the Lord impressed on me such a strong conviction to listen in to all your episodes. Truly, my pride and culturally celebrated norms of a feminist woman are being destroyed. Am I ever so thankful that you decided to share these insights! Thank you the Kitakas😊

  • @bazimbyeevans7420
    @bazimbyeevans742024 күн бұрын

    Conflict resolution in marriage is very fundamental. Many have failed because of issues that would rather have been resolved if handled well or appropriately... Extending Grace and Kindness come along way to making lasting relationships and marriage. Thank you The Kitakas...

  • @KansiimeChristine-Aassdd
    @KansiimeChristine-AassddАй бұрын

    My father always say be patient with people when they are on their journey

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    Ай бұрын

    Your father is a wise man! It takes a lot to be patient and gracious with others. -RK

  • @imacayebazibwe6412
    @imacayebazibwe6412Ай бұрын

    The podcast ended while I was still enjoying. You didn't prepare my mind for the ending. Anyways, thanks for sharing your struggles. Ministry is not a church, God has called you to help marriages. Actually, I now believe that you are not married for your own sake, but for the Kingdom of God. From today, I'll call your marriage kingdom marriage

  • @nabawanukagorreth2981
    @nabawanukagorreth298127 күн бұрын

    I love how real this talk is....

  • @ronlillie
    @ronlillieАй бұрын

    Cant wait to dive into the word❤

  • @daphinewalusa4084
    @daphinewalusa408411 күн бұрын

    I really needed this....😢

  • @babrahtugume2827
    @babrahtugume2827Ай бұрын

    Thank you for sharing. The authenticity in this conversation is top notch.

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    Ай бұрын

    🙏 thank you too for joining us! -RK

  • @SweettoothMarie77
    @SweettoothMarie7719 күн бұрын

    So deep! So raw!!! Damn, I love this conversation!!!❤

  • @edlynemercy802
    @edlynemercy802Ай бұрын

    Thank you. I needed to be reminded of so many things

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    Ай бұрын

    You are so welcome 🙏. -RK

  • @phillipawavah
    @phillipawavah27 күн бұрын

    Deep and authentic conversation. May God continue to use you to minister to many.

  • @phillipmoggie2035
    @phillipmoggie2035Ай бұрын

    Thanks for opening up your life fails and achievements to us all the time, continue staying strong, compassionate ,respectful and loving all the time. God above all. The blessed @The Kitakaz.

  • @estherphiri764
    @estherphiri764Ай бұрын

    This is Deep, Thank you 🙏.

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    Ай бұрын

    Thanks for plugging in. -RK

  • @judithakite3164
    @judithakite3164Ай бұрын

    It's always exciting to camp here. So much wisdom and knowledge of the Word of God. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. God Bless you 🙏

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    Ай бұрын

    Thanks for watching!-RK

  • @caresc307
    @caresc30712 күн бұрын

    Thank you for the podcast

  • @nisiimababra7732
    @nisiimababra7732Ай бұрын

    God am glad to be here again.

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    Ай бұрын

    Bless you. You are consistent! -RK

  • @engineerjohnpaul833
    @engineerjohnpaul833Ай бұрын

    Thank you so much for sharing with us

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    Ай бұрын

    You are welcome🙏. -RK

  • @janerukundo8840
    @janerukundo884028 күн бұрын

    It's Shan's deep breath for me😁. But thank you Mr&Mrs Kitaka for always opening up. I'm learning. I've been like Shan before in my relationship but God has worked on me

  • @charlesisabirye9128
    @charlesisabirye9128Ай бұрын

    Thanks for sharing...am learning alot...Your marriage is a big blessing

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    Ай бұрын

    Glad to hear that and glory to God! -RK

  • @ahimbisibwealexander4129
    @ahimbisibwealexander4129Ай бұрын

    48:10 What a podcast worth watching!!

  • @lonahsabiiti8468
    @lonahsabiiti8468Ай бұрын

    So impactfull

  • @joanitanabulya9162
    @joanitanabulya916218 күн бұрын

    Wow very inspiring very encouraging

  • @victoriabyoona4445
    @victoriabyoona4445Ай бұрын

    Indeed you were destined to be together.God ,bless your chn in their marriage journey. Lots of lessons. .

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    Ай бұрын

    Amen 🙏! -RK

  • @apostleelishawako
    @apostleelishawako26 күн бұрын

    These episodes are transforming lives . . . keep on walking #TheKitakas #Mutambuze

  • @ollieTrades111

    @ollieTrades111

    25 күн бұрын

    True, they are preparing me for marriage 🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • @PrimaAinembabazi-ll4my
    @PrimaAinembabazi-ll4myАй бұрын

    Thanks to God that He created us differently. I imagine if we were all the same. I love the reality in what you say. May God continue to use you.

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    Ай бұрын

    🙏 Amen! -RK

  • @Debaye494
    @Debaye49426 күн бұрын

    Thanks for sharing🙌

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    25 күн бұрын

    It’s always a pleasure and thank you for the giving of your time to watch. We hope you are as blessed as we are! -RK

  • @ninsiimajosephine5881
    @ninsiimajosephine5881Ай бұрын

    Separating the person from the conflict or their weakness is really difficult. I pray for more grace in this area. Regards

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    Ай бұрын

    His Grace is sufficient for you! It starts with yourself. Are you able to separate/ see yourself separate from your weakness or do you think it’s one with you? -RK

  • @ninsiimajosephine5881

    @ninsiimajosephine5881

    Ай бұрын

    @thekitakas I actually see them as one with me. This is definitely a good start.

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    Ай бұрын

    How do you reconcile seeing your weakness as one with you in light of who God says you are 🤔? -RK

  • @ninsiimajosephine5881

    @ninsiimajosephine5881

    Ай бұрын

    @thekitakas I would call it a journey to deliverance. Like all other things we struggle with when the Holy spirit reveals them, eventually the time of deliverance comes. Awareness is the first step to victory.

  • @mukamarihoamon1377
    @mukamarihoamon137710 күн бұрын

    Seeing Ruk Shana the celebrity speaking from the point of her weakness Damn,it's so authentic and real. Am sure it touches many souls. Hope u had stayed anchoring the news on weekend. The ka English 😅😅

  • @sumayamya357
    @sumayamya35716 күн бұрын

    Naye mwaami Kitaka is soo wise....

  • @takanjane7527
    @takanjane7527Ай бұрын

    every husband needs the patience and calmness of Mr kitaka to be able to handle and manage the changing and unpredictable needs of a woman, wow Mrs Rukhshana u are blessed, don't take it for granted.

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    29 күн бұрын

    True story! -RK

  • @karamagiaugustine8593

    @karamagiaugustine8593

    23 күн бұрын

    I would like to say also that Mr.Kitaka is equally blessed to have woman like Mrs.Rukhshana

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    18 күн бұрын

    Mwami Kitaka and I both agree 😃.

  • @joankyalisiima8242
    @joankyalisiima8242Ай бұрын

    maizing podcast

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    29 күн бұрын

    Thank you 🙏! -RK

  • @nakittohellen3934
    @nakittohellen3934Ай бұрын

    Thank you sharing this blessed me may God perfect that which concerns you Psalms 138:8

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    Ай бұрын

    🙏 Amen & You are so welcome! -RK

  • @kigg_welds
    @kigg_weldsАй бұрын

    Naye mwe these people are deep.

  • @ndooliallen7735

    @ndooliallen7735

    Ай бұрын

    Okitegela????I am not even married but the things they have taught me🫡We are lucky ya'll got married❤❤

  • @nayetegyerezajonan2066
    @nayetegyerezajonan206628 күн бұрын

    My first podcast to watch but I feel like "calmness" also rubs on others. Not sure whether Ruhk has always sounded this calm.

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    19 күн бұрын

    Nope, I did not always sound like this. -RK

  • @sandran1291
    @sandran1291Ай бұрын

    There's safety in the way of God. "Because u dnt want them to feel unloved" woow, now this is true love. Thanks Rk thanks Fk for all ministering to our souls mukama akibabaliremu okuba omukisa gyemuli🙏

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    29 күн бұрын

    Amiina! -RK

  • @jollynansubuga7796
    @jollynansubuga7796Ай бұрын

    For sure lack of self control can break up marriage, holy spirit help us

  • @worshiplyrics344
    @worshiplyrics344Ай бұрын

    I always look forward to listening to your episodes, as a single lady I am learning a lot. Thank you for this.

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    Ай бұрын

    So glad to be a part of your journey of learning. -RK

  • @migaddecharles1194
    @migaddecharles1194Ай бұрын

    Woooo....

  • @margaretnamulondo7053
    @margaretnamulondo7053Ай бұрын

    This is amazing. need more of these. Mrs Kitaka. How do i reach you for a mentorship session

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    Ай бұрын

    Hi Margaret, please DM me through X @rukhshana and we can take it on from there.

  • @lutaayam
    @lutaayam11 күн бұрын

    Bambi sounds like Mr Kitaka endured quite a bit

  • @nisiimababra7732
    @nisiimababra7732Ай бұрын

    Thank you for sharing your experiences with us i feel this was timely for me. I will forever be grateful to God for Kitakas.

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    Ай бұрын

    We bless the Lord for He is always just on/in time. -RK

  • @kyasiimirewinfred2566
    @kyasiimirewinfred256624 күн бұрын

    This story it's same to mine ehhhh God have mercy on me

  • @esthernalweyiso9805
    @esthernalweyiso98055 күн бұрын

    I completely understand were Rukh-shana is coming from as alpha female it takes a great guy with character to let your guard down and walk in your feminity. The kind who is consistent with their love inspite of , is my prayer. Shana we need more practical things you have done to change into your now but love changes us ladies truely

  • @user-jm2li1hz6p
    @user-jm2li1hz6pАй бұрын

    People let us subscribe to these people ❤

  • @DaphineNakyanja
    @DaphineNakyanja15 күн бұрын

  • @AnnetteInspirations
    @AnnetteInspirationsАй бұрын

    Ohhhhh wowest. 1. Self-control self-control self-control. Let's train our children to be self-controlled from an early age. Otherwise emotional stagnation/ immaturity follows us into our adult lives & it can be very costly. 2. Reaction vs response, so help me God.

  • @paulinemutumba9157
    @paulinemutumba9157Ай бұрын

    There is safety in the way of God

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    Ай бұрын

    Indeed we can surely do all things through Christ Who gives us strength. -RK

  • @karibunisafari9827
    @karibunisafari982722 күн бұрын

    💗💞💕💓

  • @karibunisafari9827
    @karibunisafari982722 күн бұрын

    💜❤️💚🤎💛💙

  • @nakittohellen3934
    @nakittohellen3934Ай бұрын

    Thank you sharing this blessed me may God perfect that which concerns you Psalms 138:8

  • @thekitakas

    @thekitakas

    Ай бұрын

    Amen and thank you! -RK

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