I have noticed that the nicer you are to a narcissist the nastier they become? Has anyone else experienced this?

@puremaledark8305

Жыл бұрын

Yep 100 %. I could never understand why i was getting treated worse for doing something nice. I think they get jealous that you can do something they can’t.

@mw00295

Жыл бұрын

No, but I noticed something similar about vulnerable narcissists, the self-deprecating kind, the one to cry about life all the time, and who try to drag others down with them (crabs in the bucket kind of mentality). When they are self-deprecating it's okay, but when YOU give them constructive criticism for any aspect of their life, with a suggestion on how to fix their problem (because they keep complaining about it on a forum) they suddenly turn into bullies. It's as if they want you to become a sad loser like them as well, and if you hold your own and even try to help them, they get irrational and angry, because you just shattered their worldview. And their worldview is that they are in a hole that they climb out of, so everyone needs to be dragged down into this hole as well. Of course this hole has a way out, it's just that for the vulnerable narcissist it makes more sense (due to maladaptive behavior) to simply drag people around him to his level. I've met people like this, and it's hilarious that when they finally achieve success in life, they VERY suddenly turn into this grandiose (but not fully grandiose) narcissists. In fact I think that if you are nice to vulnerable narcissists it's what they want. They want to be losers and be able to cry about their problems to you, and still be treated nice and told how much of a victims they are. Productive criticism and discussion is a no-no to them. They will just use the fact that you tried to help them against you later. It's simply best to just get rid of crabs in the bucket kind of people out of your life.

@Laura-nl8df

Жыл бұрын

@@mw00295 💯

@AndrewFosterSheff69

Жыл бұрын

Yep. They see you as weak. Best to go "grey rock" instead of "nice".

@mariahconklin4150

Жыл бұрын

Yep. Like when I get "too emotional" it's "Are you going to get emotional again?" It's exhausting.

The female narcissist is just as common, if not more, than the male narcissist. Less obvious, and possibly more lethal.

@_7.8.6

Жыл бұрын

With the advent of social media, it’s so obvious to me at least

@TheTruthlady

Жыл бұрын

I agree

@olnasty

Жыл бұрын

More common, because it is socially acceptable.

@sonderman8079

Жыл бұрын

With the family courts and the system squarely behind women, a female narcissist is much more lethal. Just look at the number of men's suicide as a result of divorce.

@ldn1929

Жыл бұрын

Ofcourse is more common. Females are on the spectrum by default. But society excuses female toxic behaviour. Woman teacher sleeps with under age student media say " the were in love, they had romance. Man does the same he is predator . Man cheats on wife,he is piece of shit , monster. Woman cheat in husband - he deserves it,she knows what she wants she is independent and brave. U get the picture

If the devil can't get to you, he'll send a narcissist.

@mohd.zakariya776

Жыл бұрын

Hell ya... Army of Satan

@Fabian6980

11 ай бұрын

Narcassist psycho same thing

@BenWilliams7

6 ай бұрын

Reminds me of what Paul said about having a "thorn in the flesh", the messenger of Satan to buffet him. Yup, we best repent ourselves and cling so close to Christ and stay extremely humble, remembering always He died for our sins, and He will judge this present evil world someday. “And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.” 2 Corinthians 12:7 “For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.” 2 Corinthians 12:8 “And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 “Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10

@privateperson2

6 ай бұрын

​@@BenWilliams7thank you so much for taking the time to share these excerpts 🙏

@simionenaclably9280

5 ай бұрын

on my top list in the first entry 8 minutes in is proof there was never a jesus

It’s so gross how they won’t and can’t ever accept accountability for anything.

@Ricardo-ur5os

4 ай бұрын

Honestly. You can go to them in a nice open hearted manner and say, oh this is how I felt about this thing you did - you’re just looking for a bit of reassurance and you’re happy to be proved wrong. And they make you feel terrible and guilty about even bringing it up, like you have no right to feel that way

@Ryan_the_dawg

4 ай бұрын

Yeah isn't that the truth, they are so convinced of their righteousness too and will twist everything you say until they do your head in and you just don't want to argue around in rediculous immature circles any longer, they are sick and just plain toxic and are very good at showing a wonderful picture of themselves until they have you hook line a sinker and then they start treating you like dogshit amd never let up ever not once in a decade has my "wife" ever backed down or admitted wrongdoing or anything of the sort, if i don't back down and defuse the situation it will 100% turn into ww3, she won't even for one second entertain the idea that she may be wrong or anything of the sort, and they are so confident and stupid that they think a good man (in my situation) won't be gone the very second my little girls are old enough to not be horribly effected by it, otherwise I would already be long gone, but sadly they are schemers and they pre plan all this shit against people that aren't even aware that such sick fcks are out there and they take advantage of people's kindness and then punish them for it, sorry for the rant this is just a topic that is very close to home for me and causes me pain every day like a thorn in my side everyday that I'm powerless to pull out, anyway hopefully things will be ok someday

@ezdoesit6286

3 ай бұрын

Yup

@Ryan_the_dawg

3 ай бұрын

@Ricardo-ur5os yep it's called gaslighting and only a disgusting narc would feel fully justified behaving in such a manner, they are fcking parasites

@TheBillaro

2 ай бұрын

exactly. took me hours and hours to get her to admit it. then she was angry about that anyway.

Until my ex, I didn’t know women like that even existed. She wasted so much time and energy, it’s sad. It was demonic on so many levels.

@davidbudzynski4847

Жыл бұрын

Because western men are not really allowed to notice anything bad about them, lest they run the risk of being called a misogynist, that's why you "didn't know they exist", because you've been trained not to know.

@desouzarm

Жыл бұрын

Only those who lived with them know. Nobody will believe a word you say because they are demonic

@carljones7992

Жыл бұрын

Same 9 years living with one. I rumbled her for being a prostitute behind my back. Heavy

@SeeTheTravisty

Жыл бұрын

Same bro…same

@fernfunk

Жыл бұрын

now imagine your mom being like that.

I had an 18 month relationship with a narcissist. I totally lost my way and who I was (a reasonably intelligent, outgoing individual) during the relationship, I almost felt addicted to her awful behaviour, constantly thinking I could change her behaviour with my love and empathy but actually she changed me into half the man I was. I managed to get out, it took me a good few years to heal after the relationship (constantly felt angry with myself for getting myself into the situation in the first place). I now have an incredible partner who is beautiful, loving and kind. So for all those facing the beginning of this hard journey, stay strong, heal, find yourself again and you will find something and someone worthwhile.❤

@bakerbakerbaker305

25 күн бұрын

you try to be there in her way and simply you lose your sense of self, you even have to relearn what you are after its a damn shame

This part: "she doesn't want to HEAR about how you feel/think..." but "she wants to TELL you how you feel/think" On. The. Dot.

@Bacchanalsteel

6 күн бұрын

That hit me hard

@sabalipeaceandpatience9264

3 күн бұрын

Same.

They are jezebel spirits. I’m recovering one year into walking away from a narcissistic friend after ten years of knowing her. She’s a miserable soul that pulled me deep into a trauma hole. God help the survivors 🙏

@melissaholsonbake20

Жыл бұрын

100% agreed! I have been battling this wicked spirit for some time...remember, our God is more powerful than her god!!!

@Kristen10-22

Жыл бұрын

Thank you

@annegreen4695

Жыл бұрын

Same situation here. They are so evil.

@DT-mv2rh

Жыл бұрын

And God help you, you are a survivor... Before I was educated on this subject, I'd probably have laughed at people who told me what effects narcissistic abuse can have on a person. On their mental and physical health. But after experiencing what I can only describe as the most confusing, gut wrenching, soul destroying and discombobulating 14 months of my life, I now get it... And it's been the hardest thing I've ever had to wrap my head around. Ever. I believe these people are actually evil, but that's just my take... And, after not thinking I'd be here to say this, I'm a survivor too...

@wallymarcel1

Жыл бұрын

I did the same thing with two very longterm friends. I breathe a sigh of relief every year on my birthday that I do not have to endure their phone calls, all about what’s going on with them, making sure my current life isn’t more exciting than theirs.

The most problematic narcissists I’ve met have been women. Very good at masking

@MrSwaggOn

11 ай бұрын

Agree!!!!

@rockstarofredondo

8 ай бұрын

Very good at using the system to destroy people.

@greatness4465

6 ай бұрын

Yup...

@paulbarker5915

6 ай бұрын

For me it's the malignant ones first, because they can be ultra violent. Then it's those who failed to individuate. They are masters of public devaluation then discard. They don't stop because they cannot stop.

@robertdemeter5793

4 ай бұрын

It is vital to not take anything ' personal ' with them, as nobody is inside them in the first place. Narcissists don’t know how to love; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissists value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. Loads of them brag about being a good parent and seek compliments for that only to hide their masks... When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing... They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have close personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain.. .. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection., . And, Moreover, if you think They are the one that 'made' you feel then you're still under their control/spell, you're still wrapped up in their neverending inner delusions/dar-kness, and you learned nothing. Truth is, you were loving YOURSELF the entire time you were interacting with them as they were doing nothing more than mirroring you, as there is nobody inside them in the first place, therefore there was nobody for you to love but yourself (as they themselves are incapable of true empathy/love). Stating that they made you feel is like saying an empty robot made you feel, or an empty soda can made you feel. And in the same way it's completely ridiculous to think a Narc made you feel anything...As they were doing nothing more than mirroring you in the beginning. Based on a lie and you cannot truly feel for lies. They are completely incapable of processing their emotions, they don't know how to. And that is why when you state that you love them they greatly resent it, they turn you into an enemy and play their games. Because inside they ask themselves- " how can you possibly love this ? ' Unless you get over these massive hurdles and understand the bigger picture of Universal spiritual truths in your relationships then you will never be the truly empathic powerful loving spirit being you truly are to love the world/heal the world. .. Much love !..

The "worst" thing you can do to them, is being a separate human being with your own values, beliefs opinions and life. And keeping it that way.

@willowbrooks

Жыл бұрын

💯

@schizorap

Жыл бұрын

Really though eh

@dorus4737

10 ай бұрын

And she hates it. So she started talking baf behind my back. Once you can see through ....it's such bad theater!!! 👺🤡

@armylabman

7 ай бұрын

Who is them??

@user-cl5vk2ug4i

6 ай бұрын

Yeah!

I experienced narcissistic abuse in a romantic relationship. It is the worst. Couldn’t even imagine on my worst day that this kind of abuse could exist. You cannot trust them at all. It’s completely exhausting and anxiety. I stop myself every once and awhile and thank God i survived it.

Narcissism is everywhere,I honestly feel like I am in jail.

The key word that jumped out at me was "punishment." Not only are you not allowed to have a difference of opinion, (or even differing interests or hobbies), but you will be punished for it.

@DieselWeazel

Жыл бұрын

I can’t tell you how many times I’d buy something and she’d want one too. Then the thing gets squirreled away in a hoarding pile. A ukulele, an Xbox controller, a Super Nintendo, a big tool cabinet, tools, etc. whatever you want to do they’ll be sure to include themselves.

@LedgerAndLace

Жыл бұрын

@@DieselWeazel And take over and be "the expert!"

@DieselWeazel

Жыл бұрын

@@LedgerAndLace 🤣 yes indeed

@josejuja

Жыл бұрын

Not only must you agree to whatever they want you will also like it or there will be hell to pay

@karmahleone1196

Жыл бұрын

Facttsss cause when my ex disagreed with me about anything I’d wanna beat his asssssssssssss don’t you dare disagreeeeeeeeeee even if Im dead wrong!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 just kiddin😂😂😂😩 damm

Its the hardest thing to get through if a person does not know what it is.

This applies to narcissistic sisters as well. We siblings are often overlooked in the abusive behavior we have to endure. My narc sister has effectively brainwashed most of my family into believing she's this amazing, godly, faultless creature, and made me the scapegoat and 'bad guy' in the family. Female narcs are devious, cunning, and downright destructive.

@cindymartin6307

Жыл бұрын

She also turned my children against me with her lies and deception. I literally have no family because of her.

@Dee33636

Жыл бұрын

And often SO passive aggressive so, harder to recognize & call it out… or shut down the amygdala’s response to perceived threat.

@Safestreet

Жыл бұрын

Me too, she's made me the bad guy & turned my parents against me

@mariahconklin4150

Жыл бұрын

That's my brother right now he went from being an agnostic to losing everything and almost losing his child. He had to pretend to be a Christian to move into my aunts house and now he masqurades as a Christian and my parents are too naive to realize it. Now I'm the black sheep of the family I tried to warn them and they would just gas light me as usual. Today they are not in my life I can't deal with their enabling. I even remember when I was a kid and me and my brother were at this water park in a wave pool and he left me out there to drown, my mom was a baby sitter and my own brother said, "Watch this" and put two of the kids on each other two toddlers and they were on top of each other. A truly sick human being. I'm pretty sure he ruined my car to and he also told me that he peed in my cousins shampoo bottle he told me that. He also told me to STFU when I told him he shouldn't spend all of this money. A total idiot it's pathetic.

@lea88pu

Жыл бұрын

My cousin is probably one..but she didn't made my husband go against me but she did try to paint him as a narcissist and make me want to come to her as my saviour so that she could play the: "I told you so!" card and put me in a situation where I would depend on her. Luckily I had a feeling my whole life that she lacks empathy which she said is a sign of weakness on few occasions. I went down the rabbit hole looking for answers and so many videos describe her perfectly it is almost frightening. I stopped contacting her and now she is trying to make me feel guilty by sending gifts to my children trough my husband. Idk where this all will take me, I just want peace.

My sister is a narcissist. Living with her is pure torture. You have to create a distance between you and them, because ultimately they want to destroy you, or anyone that they deem as a threat.

@glennerd3125

6 ай бұрын

Just like McDonald J. Trump, Americas Burger King, threatened to do if reelected.....

To all the survivor's from a fellow survivor.. The things we have lived through are unbelievable and unexplainable, but we made it out of that hell alive, never to look back. We broke free from the possession. We have WON over the narcissist. Sending lots of strength to all the people still fighting this battle.

@jamesrutter4100

Жыл бұрын

My narc sperm donor has been smearing me since I was 6yrs old I'm 64 yrs old now and nothing has changed except some new flying monkeys. God I hope he dies TODAY. As I know it does not end till he goes to hell. I can feel his hatred from the far side of town wishing me harm

@Morelife647

8 ай бұрын

Wish me luck I’m fighting the demon right now planning my escape route been a crazy 5 years for me and I’m can’t handle it anymore I can’t believe I’m on KZread searching this stuff I almost lost my sanity I tried evything I can in my hands to be better for her I did everything she thinks I’m awkward cheating and talking to other women no matter what I did and do she is so miserable and sad everyday I’m tired of being there and always making things better I’m suffering like crazy but I’m staying strong and not letting this get to me I’m just about to run away and never look back

@glennerd3125

6 ай бұрын

DO IT! DO IT NOW! NO CONTACT! NEW PHONE NUMBER! NO FORWARDING ADDRESS! (DONT REGISTER YOUR NEW ADDRESS WITH POST OFFICE). CUT ALL TIES WITH THOSE STILL FRIENDS WITH THE NARC! DID ID MYSELF A DECADE AGO, BEST CHOICE I EVER MADE!

@robertdemeter5793

5 ай бұрын

It is vital to not take anything ' personal ' with them, as nobody is inside them in the first place. Narcissists don’t know how to love; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissists value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. Loads of them brag about being a good parent and seek compliments for that only to hide their masks... When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing... They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have close personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain.. .. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection., . And, Moreover, if you think They are the one that 'made' you feel then you're still under their control/spell, you're still wrapped up in their neverending inner delusions/dar-kness, and you learned nothing. Truth is, you were loving YOURSELF the entire time you were interacting with them as they were doing nothing more than mirroring you, as there is nobody inside them in the first place, therefore there was nobody for you to love but yourself (as they themselves are incapable of true empathy/love). Stating that they made you feel is like saying an empty robot made you feel, or an empty soda can made you feel. And in the same way it's completely ridiculous to think a Narc made you feel anything...As they were doing nothing more than mirroring you in the beginning. Based on a lie and you cannot truly feel for lies. They are completely incapable of processing their emotions, they don't know how to. And that is why when you state that you love them they greatly resent it, they turn you into an enemy and play their games. Because inside they ask themselves- " how can you possibly love this ? ' Unless you get over these massive hurdles and understand the bigger picture of Universal spiritual truths in your relationships then you will never be the truly empathic powerful loving spirit being you truly are to love the world/heal the world. .. Much love !..

@5ter4life

5 ай бұрын

@@Morelife647 Hope you found your way out! We need to stay strong and walk towards the light ✨

In 1981 when I got married, narcissistic personality disorders was not in the vocabulary of society. Nobody would ever understand why people do and say to hurt their spouce. Now I know the reason why my wife turned into a nightmare. That goodness for the internet.

What blows my mind is that everyone outside our private interaction thinks and believes she's such a sweet angel and can do wrong. I've always believed that if I even suggested to anyone that she could be capable of such evil, everyone would automatically believe that I am the narcissist. So the only person I could console with was God, who I know saw what I saw. I even told her that once and that really got her upset so that the only way I broke her 5 weeks of silent treatment was to apologize for being wrong. I'm always wrong....always.

@julietta610

28 күн бұрын

My brother was with a narcissist, it was evident to me she switched her ways like flicking through a book so much & sweet as pie to everyone else, love bombed him, then undermined him , went away & then came back hoovering him for years, to anyone not involved it’s hard for them to believe, please please believe me when I say find a way to escape from her & cut any ties, I hope you find strength & that you love yourself more than you love her.

@Wassup2003

25 күн бұрын

U know what she did but suck it up and smart yourself because nobody will say u are right for different reasons!! Disengagement solved my caos. And work on codependency. Why u want people to believe u? N enables N

That was powerful. As a man who is married to a narcissist, I have experienced this behavior firsthand. I'm currently going through the discard phase of the relationship, and it's painful.

@robertdemeter5793

5 ай бұрын

My friend, please take it from me who was in it deeply for nine years, and trust every word I say. It is vital to not take anything ' personal ' with them, as nobody is inside them in the first place. Narcissists don’t know how to love; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissists value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. Loads of them brag about being a good parent and seek compliments for that only to hide their masks... When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing... They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have close personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain.. .. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection., . And, Moreover, if you think They are the one that 'made' you feel then you're still under their control/spell, you're still wrapped up in their neverending inner delusions/dar-kness, and you learned nothing. Truth is, you were loving YOURSELF the entire time you were interacting with them as they were doing nothing more than mirroring you, as there is nobody inside them in the first place, therefore there was nobody for you to love but yourself (as they themselves are incapable of true empathy/love). Stating that they made you feel is like saying an empty robot made you feel, or an empty soda can made you feel. And in the same way it's completely ridiculous to think a Narc made you feel anything...As they were doing nothing more than mirroring you in the beginning. Based on a lie and you cannot truly feel for lies. They are completely incapable of processing their emotions, they don't know how to. And that is why when you state that you love them they greatly resent it, they turn you into an enemy and play their games. Because inside they ask themselves- " how can you possibly love this ? ' Unless you get over these massive hurdles and understand the bigger picture of Universal spiritual truths in your relationships then you will never be the truly empathic powerful loving spirit being you truly are to love the world/heal the world. .. Much love !..

@robertdemeter5793

5 ай бұрын

Moreover, Always remember that when dealing with a Narc ALL the immense pain they threw on you/caused you had ZERO to do with you, they were trying to transfer all their inner pain/darkness unto/into you. And ALL the endless dark false accusations they accused you of has ZERO to do with you and only is a reflection of either what they themselves have done, or what they would do under their preferred circumstances. Be infinitely grateful of never having to hear their voice ever again !!

@ohdwight

4 ай бұрын

these "people" are like demons ; i don't think they are fully human

@pauljames6721

3 ай бұрын

Sorry to hear mate. I’m also going through it too now although wasn’t married. I saw the good in her and was ashamed to even think she had narcissistic traits. Way too many examples for it to be in my head, when I pulled her up for it she would shut me down and tell me I was paranoid. She never ever said sorry and frequently declared she was never wrong. I felt like I was playing the role of a psychologist attempting to try and help, so messed up.

@plumduff3303

2 ай бұрын

So sorry pal escape if you can

Female (same-sex) friends...this can go on for decades...tolerating unrequited respect, lies, and being diminished in social situations. I finally found my voice and spoke up toward someone about really crappy ongoing behavior...being overtly sexual to my male partner, compulsive lies, mean spirited bullying...the moment I spoke up, she ended a 40 year friendship in minutes with a smearing discard. I'm free.

@blacksea1726

Жыл бұрын

Oh yeah! That describes exactly my friend too: overly engaging with my partner, always wanted to be the star ( sometimes, repeating the same stories over and over again, just so she get the space) and then when nicely confronted, played the victim. No contact was the best choice!

@mariahconklin4150

Жыл бұрын

My best friend was like this also sending nudes to my boyfriend. I invited it in but I never expected her to cross boundaries and send nudes though if that makes sense. When I told her how hurt I was by this she said, "I don't want to talk about it." I finally told her off and stopped talking to her.

@karmahleone1196

Жыл бұрын

@@mariahconklin4150 That’s not narcism thats jealousy!!!!!!! 😂😂😂😂 and why would another woman have your mans number come onnnn

@velvetpixiecake5310

Жыл бұрын

​@@karmahleone1196 If someone gives their man's number to a "friend" That is not a sign of jealousy, That is quite the opposite. When that same "Friend" crosses the "Respect" boundary that is neither Jealousy nor Narcissism, that is plain and simple disrespectful and not a true "Friend" with your best interest at heart. 😮 Some people (men/women) unfortunately have no idea what Girl code is about, and or play willful ignorance, and have no clue what boundaries are. They plain and simply don't. 😮 Yep, they'll be the same ones getting either confronted or their block knocked off, then make themselves out to be the victim, with the authorities on speed dial getting redirected to the non emergency line. 👌🤦‍♀️

@modickens1272

Жыл бұрын

​@@mariahconklin4150 what was your boyfriend's reaction to the photos? And is your former friend still wanting to send pics?😂

Narcissists are professional victims.

@keithhicks3358

27 күн бұрын

Facts.

I warned her as she was manipulating her way to the last straw. I followed through on my word. She thought deceit was going to get her through the situation unscathed, but it ended up being the reason for complete separation.

@Leila-ash-thedumbox

Жыл бұрын

When they realize that you caught on, they escalate. As if they can’t believe you would dare have a limit. Mine still doesn’t-she’s awaiting trial for restraining order violations. Literally left repeated voicemails saying “I know the restraining order says No Contact but it doesn’t apply because I have something important to say”.

@MrRedskin0007

Жыл бұрын

That is crazy, @@Leila-ash-thedumbox! Ego, the God-complex rooted in deception, thinks it is above law, playing victimhood as a lifestyle.

@velvetpixiecake5310

Жыл бұрын

​@@Leila-ash-thedumbox Wow. 😮 Sounds like 'The rules don't apply to me'" type. 🙄

@daeclipse03

10 ай бұрын

​@@velvetpixiecake5310typical narcassist. Double standards for everything.

@wendigos_eat_people7177

3 ай бұрын

@@velvetpixiecake5310 and control issues over an EX.

Dude everything you said describes my sister. You're only exist in her world to serve her and the moment you refuse you're punished.

@schizorap

Жыл бұрын

Oh god the punishment I am a 45 year old, doesn't stop my Narcissist mother from the humiliation and insane punishments, bat shit 😧

When I was 10, my mother was all the time screaming and complaining about how there is no human being in the world, that has suffered as much as her. then I asked her about the starving people in the third world and about people living in war zones.... she exploded in rage,,,

The moment she says “happy wife, happy life” …. That pretty much sums up how it’s going to go.

@EE12CSVT

2 ай бұрын

That's pretty much all women in relationships. That's the norm for married couples here in the UK.

@seansupplee7116

Ай бұрын

Happy king Happy kingdom

My ex is a female she's exactly how you describe it took me awhile to get out of the fog and work myself away from her she did some really horrible things to me

@DieselWeazel

Жыл бұрын

It’s a thicc Fog! The comfort zone is hard to leave. I’ve failed several attempts to navigate my way out. Wasn’t until I got hip to “N” that I realized what was holding me back. Glad you made it!

@Zwei-Rosen

6 ай бұрын

I (male/48) am in a 25 year relationship and 20 years married to my husband. I am the Yang in our setting, which matched seemingly fine for two decades, as husband is a Yin as can be. He utterly despises making decisions and doing organisational stuff in daily life. Now our party is near the end. 25th anniversary in June felt like the "40 years GDR"-celebration a month before the fall of the Berlin wall. This video as well as one about the female covered narcissist really told the story of my endurance ofer the recent years.

@brianw2033

3 ай бұрын

What did you do? I’m struggling with this now

This is beautiful, thank you. You describe my last 25 years with my now ex-wife - it's like you know her. Every word, every sentence you say I relate to... even the 'how did I let this happen to me...'. Crying happy tears of freedom right now, and on the way to rediscovering myself. Thank you, really, thank you 🙂

@walkietalkie6679

4 ай бұрын

They all act the same ...its weird

Going through this right now, She kept me on the phone for 7 hours on my day off literally forcing me to ask her questions all day long (like an interview), wouldnt allow me to budge or I would be dealing with her punishment. 2 weeks in and I'm done .... Stuff will make you feel mentally insane.

These woman have children. So millions of people have received no motherly love. I'm 57 years old and still want a mother. The pain from a narc mother is excruciating, confusing and never seems to heal no matter what intervention is used. 😮

I am a female empath who has put my energy into a female narcissist….thanks for this video, let the healing begin!

All spot on. I’ve suffered greatly at the hands of a female narcissist boss. Finally free now, I’m about to start a new job.

@beckyhayob1557

2 ай бұрын

Good luck! I hope you are very happy in your new position! 😊

@salvatoreamico5391

Ай бұрын

@@beckyhayob1557 Thanks. I'm loving my new role and learning so much. Hope you are keeping well and have a lovely Weekend :)

Well, that's my mother! I did 'talk back' and paid for it. It's been a long struggle. Your courses, Richard, have been a big help. Thanks for all you do.

@natalienott9221

Жыл бұрын

Hey Aikea. So sorry you paid for it. I did the same. It's painful 🤗

@BeingHuman100

Жыл бұрын

This was me and my mum for years. When I was growing up I was the adult and she was the child. She will still do this if she has the chance. I have greatly limited my contact with BOTH parents as mother is Covert Narc and father is a bully. My wants and needs growing up were not important. I have had a great deal of therapy. Now I am happily married. I forgive my parents (not for them, but for my happiness). I have moved on. They separated several years ago and are both toxic people. Thanks for reading…sending love 🙏🏻

@rppope1006

Жыл бұрын

I'm a chosen one, man of God and she HATED that God chose me and not her. She resented I didn't have the generational curse she did so she decided to enlist the help of the Democrat and narc community to make she I was punished for not being a weak little cuhk that would obey her. I can tell you the top two things they want is power and control. They resent god for making them wahmen. Hence why they tend to favor science over God. Which also shows their small mindedness because without God there would be no science. Science has also already proven God real. So it's just more confirmation they hate themselves, insecure and want to ruin everything that doesn't submit to them

@fernfunk

Жыл бұрын

by saying you are the one chosen by god u sure sound like a narcissist yourself. and you equate democrats with narcissists- are u for real? science has not proven that god exists. not sure you're in the right comment section here...

My exs mom was one of the most demonic people ive ever met. I loved her daughter so much but over time i noticed that she was starting to resemble traits of her mom. Almost 2 yrs into our relationship i started having panic attacks and checked myself into therapy because i thought something was wrong with me. Turns out i discovered actually what was going on. I broke up with her 3 months ago and my health has improved drastically already. I was 6ft 1in 138 lbs when i broke up with her and now im 159lbs. I lost so much weight. I hope my ex can heal and realize down the road who shes dealing with, but this relationship actually almost led me to my death. It was almost like i had to date her and her mom, it was very weird and unnatural.

@SuspensionTruth

Жыл бұрын

Good for you in recognizing something being very wrong. While we are not the same as our parents, we often can carry trauma and patterns they had because it's what we learned growing up. Going through therapy and reflecting on our own actions helps us avoid repeating those patterns. And humility goes a long way; good friends who can say 'hey, that wasn't cool, man.' Please keep taking care of yourself and watch for signs as early as possible before you get too deeply involved. Ask me how I know...

@slopptopp

Жыл бұрын

@@SuspensionTruth how do you know?

That’s true-recovering from my female narcissistic abusive relationship is by the end I literally felt like I had no identity or a million at once

There’re actually nearly just as many female as male narcissists. And that’s by old research. I think it’s massively understated in the current psych community. Thank you for this.

@digitalartist371

Жыл бұрын

I'm convinced it's way more prevalent in woman. But that's pretty much anecdotal and based mainly on my experience and very bias opinion. But I think social media kind of proves it.

@mrhanky5851

Жыл бұрын

@@digitalartist371 yes me too. Especially because all the research for the sex distribution was gathered before social media. There’s no way therapists can, with a straight face, look at the stats of gender relations and not think something is up lol at least the honest ones with capacity to understand it.

This is exactly what I lived and fought for for 13 years! I feel like such an idiot! I'm still trying to get over not being with her and she took all of my sense of reality. You become so attached to the abuse and drama, its like a drug, even knowing that its not ok. You will never win the battle, you will always lose even just trying to simply communicate. Thank you for this video, it hit me in many ways.

@plumduff3303

2 ай бұрын

Same buddy

@hippopotamus6765

2 ай бұрын

I had 28 yrs, I was a bank account and constantly guilt tripped. If only I had known, but what a relief when you get it. Good luck everyone!

My narcissistic mother never felt like a parent; she was instead a self-centered, competitive sister. And my dad only enabled her behavior. So I had to raise myself and parent my parents.... And now I'm estranged from them.

@pappybros.3703

2 ай бұрын

I felt this IN MY BONES! It’s crazy, because people that don’t have this type of relationship with their parents.. will never know what you’ve been through! When friends or people talk about how they can lean on their parents, or have when growing up.. it stings. Even being a good parent, I literally have to explain to my son how I’m figuring it out how to be a parent to him that’s not like that one’s before me.

This was my recent boss, I just quit, every morning my fear would build and and my body would tense up, I was preparing for hyper vigilance, put downs, moving the goal post, toxic emails, double talk, word salad, love bombing, devaluation, my coworker and I could read her like a book but the damage was psychological and physical even with the awareness. I used grey rock mostly and DEEP - don’t defend, explain, engage, or personalize. This video is spot on, very validating and therapeutic.

@billygoatcatfish4754

Жыл бұрын

One of the hardest thing for me to learn is I cannot reason, pursuance or educate the person. I have tried thousands of times but it never works. I guess my nature in this way will never be validated. It is a soul destroying feeling as your good helpfull way is never validated. I am learning that grey rock is the only way. I find it counter-intuitive but I will try to keep doing it untill it's second nature. Wish me luck. I want to end up in a place that minimises their damage to me and have the graciousness to see them as helpless victims of the prison of the mind , who cannot change. (I am living with the family member person and cannot leave, so I gave to find a way to live with it)

“How do you have an adult to adult vulnerable conversation?….you don’t.” I had to learn this the hard way. 🙏🏾

This is a brilliant summary on female narcissism! Bulls eye!!! I have listened to this piece several times to tie the final strings on my experience of being with one of these devils for 11 long years. Folks, if some of you are in the midst of getting out, my advice to you is secretly start recording conversations, because the trauma bond is ridiculously strong and the CPTSD state is dissociative and makes you forget the abuse. By playing back the recordings of the abuse will jog your memory of the horror and help you eventually escape. And once you do, stick to email communication if you have to keep contact because of kids. If you dont have kids with the narcissist, thank your lucky stars and bolt like a horse and never return

@jimbosmith6327

11 ай бұрын

This is great advice. Use a voice recording app, not video. If she suspects or catches you recording a video, that can get you in trouble. She will accuse you of inappropriate video recording or something. But yes, do record audio. Especially when there is a disagreement. I have a few of those that would shock people if they heard what she did to me.

@Ryan_the_dawg

5 ай бұрын

Sounds like great advice, sadly I was tricked into marrying this bitch and having kids extremely quickly because she knows im a decent caring man and that I would never desert my children so as soon as that was all done she started the years of abuse and demoralising and condescending and belittling and destruction of who I was and everything I ever held dear to me including my family, its gotten to the point I can't stand the sound of her voice but I also can't bear to leave my little girls in her mental chaotic world without me here to make them feel loved and heard and supported, I have never despised someone so very much in my whole life but I am 100% stuck not to mention i was so lonely and desperate for companionship that I took on her 3 children from 2 different fathers.......what the fuck was I thinking???? What the fuck was I doing with my life???? I have always been a low self esteem individual and always had anxiety and depression even as a young boy and having no self worth really didn't help my plight that I so blindly and stupidly ran myself into, its now 11 odd years later and every day is a fcking nightmare that never ends 😞

Wow. This explains so much. I was just thinking minutes before I watched this that not only do I have my life back after leaving the narcissist, but that now I have my mind back. Her last effort to hoover me a week ago went like this" I need to speak with you it's URGENT. Please try not to act like an immature weirdo." She's broke and I think on the verge of eviction. Two weeks ago she was trying to squeeze $300 out of me. Now she comes at me with this. The "immature weirdo" part has to do with me calling her out for discarding me on a trip a year ago so she could sleep with a 20-year old hotel worker (she was 52). So my hurt does not matter. Only her needs are what matters. i did not reply. i don't know and don't want to know what misery she is in now. She was always saying "God hates me. My family is cursed." No, you've lived a dissolute life forever, have no morals and have made terrible impulsive decisions with no concern about consequences or who gets hurt.

@A_n_y_t_i_m_e

Жыл бұрын

"Immature weirdo" = projection.

@karmahleone1196

Жыл бұрын

Faxxx bronxilllaaaaaa😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

It's truly astonishing how everything he says exactly matched my experience. Every detail of my life I honestly shared with her, trusting her, was used against me. She even accepted herself that she's delusional and wants to be in her delusional fantasy world. And that I should worship her!!!

Be a daughter of one I’m 50 & no contact for 10yrs. I’m still confused. All of these negative communications still play out in my head.

@ginafarley6190

Жыл бұрын

Sorry for your pain

@Kristen10-22

Жыл бұрын

@@ginafarley6190 Thank you Gina… The grief is like waves. I miss who I wanted her to be if that makes sense. Married 25yrs on the 11th, having our son changed everything in 04. I’m the mom I always wanted now to our guy. My mom taught me what not to be. Grateful for that

@Tomara710

Жыл бұрын

She doesn't have much time left. Forgive her and start a new relationship.

@Kristen10-22

Жыл бұрын

@@Tomara710 sorry Nope. I have forgiven her yet that doesn’t mean I need her in my life. I’ve had enough. When it comes to my stability and mental health at stake. I choose me & my family. She started the story … My turn to finish mine

@Kristen10-22

Жыл бұрын

@@Tomara710 you’ve peaked my interest.. Not much time left? Do u know something I don’t ?

When I decided to go no contact with her after the discard, I cut off all communication and blocked her on everything for my own protection and self preservation. I had forgotten one social media platform though and she blocked me on it saying to me “I’m punishing you now” which wasn’t even my mindset, but quite revealing of her mind. Funny enough, a day later she unblocked me, no doubt expecting me to reach out as I had done so many times in the past, but no, I just blocked it too.

@chaybasansam372

8 ай бұрын

Yes, they blocked you and then few days After they unblocked... I did blocked everything from her and i moved on. So she Can have anything she want but not me..

Male narcissist can also be 'the biggest victim'. My father was literally like that.

@bryanandrew7729

Жыл бұрын

Mine too I'm the only one from my family that sees him now

@chamuuemura5314

6 ай бұрын

Same with my brother. Ironically as vile as his behavior always was toward me until I cut him out of my life, his girlfriends/wives were always equally vile toward him. Seeing him getting his comeuppance is actually sad because she mistreats then gaslights him so bad, he thinks he’s the only problem in the relationship and that she’s the victim. He’s great at straining gnats in others but now he’s swallowing his wife’s ever growing camels.

He says so many things in this video that are on the money. "Slow drip..." "you won't even know why you did that thing or why you didn't say no..." "Her way or the highway..." "biggest victim in the world...." "her takeover will quiet, slow, pernicious..." He helps make it clearer how a narcissist works. He also makes it clear that you cannot communicate with a narcissist. Thank you for the video.

Wow!!!!! Every single word spot on, to the point of freaking me out! I’ve been dealing with it my whole life and I can agree that this person will utterly destroy you if you don’t cut off completely, the ‘punishment ‘ can develop into violence, but to everyone else she seems ‘lovely’ 🙏 amazing Richard x

@williamtiffee3799

Жыл бұрын

Exactly! No one else ever gets close enough ("outside, of their shared fantasy...") to see them, for what they ARE. My mother and step mother, are both covert narcs... and everyone believes they are 'wonderful...' that doesn't know them WELL enough.

@aliross2720

Жыл бұрын

The only way to truly protect yourself is to just stay away. Your brain relies on your eyes and your ears to inform it and to keep it safe. Knowledge cannot override this input because it's part of the basic way your brain works. That's why magic tricks and optical illusions are effective. Your brain knows that Chris Angel can't walk on water but your eyes are telling you that he is in fact doing that. Knowing that this is an illusion does not spoil the effect of the illusion because our brains believe what they see. On some level your brain accepts and to an extent believes what your eyes are telling it even though your brain knows that this is not possible that's why the trick is effective. This is also why educating yourself about the reality of narcissists and Psychopaths is not enough to make dealing with them easier or safer. Your brain cannot override the input of what your eyes and ears are telling it and if your eyes and ears are perceiving an adult person who appears to be able to communicate, is in possession of their basic faculties and is not speaking gibberish or something like that/ It will conclude that you are in fact dealing with another regular adult person even if your brain knows that this is not true. it simply cannot override the information from your eyes and ears or not make the assumptions inherent to that information. This phenomenon has applied to Human Relationships results in stress for most people, often extreme stress because what your brain knows does not match up with what your eyes and your ears are telling it. This constant contradiction of knowledge versus input is upsetting and confusing often specifically because people don't understand why they keep falling into the same situations with this person when they know better.. why do they keep trying to get through to this person when they know they can't? why do they keep assuming this person will understand and care when they've seen that this is not actually possible? There are certain things that have to happen in order for human beings to interact and communicate with each other and they happen automatically. The brain has to make certain assumptions, project certain things and operate along certain lines. The fact that this does not happen on the narcissist side of things doesn't change the fact that it does happen on yours and knowing that this is not happening on the other person's side does not change anything either. Your brain works the way that it works, it perceives another human being and it makes these jumps automatically even when you know that this is incorrect. You will not be able to override biology.. Though it seems contradictory your brain is not being dysfunctional here at all, it's actually working properly and because it's working properly it's making normal natural assumptions about who and what it's dealing with. Humans recognize and interact with other human beings in a specific way. If something is not who or what they appear to be the system can definitely be fooled regardless of how much education or information someone might have/ One of the results of these automatic assumptions and projections are that humans will read understanding and empathy into the things that are said to them even in situations where it is known that this is not actually possible People fill in the gaps for narcissists people for the other side of the conversation and the relationship because some basic projection and assumption is necessary for communication. This is just what happens when we talk to other people. It happens on a very deep level and is part of the basic programming of your brain. When you talk to animals you don't usually assume or project the same things that you assume or project when you're talking to humans. Our brain sees them differently therefore it operates differently when dealing with them. Most of the time basic projection onto other human beings works fine. We're not projecting anything crazy onto other people or anything usually just a basic understanding of emotions, perceptions, words and things like that. The problem comes when even those most basic projections don't actually fit the other person or the experience that they are having. This is often very difficult for people to understand and it's made even more confusing by the fact that the brain just automatically assumes these things are there so it believes it has evidence that they are there even if they really aren't. The automatic projections and assumptions that the human brain always makes when interacting with other humans, the brain assumes and believes it sees evidence that the narcissist has at the very least some basic meaningful understanding of humanity even though the reality is there actually isn't any evidence of that at all. People are filling in the gaps based on their own assumptions and projections and they are doing so despite there often being overwhelming evidence to the contrary. The idea that another human being does not have a meaningful understanding of humanity and views other human beings only as objects goes against the way that the brain naturally operates. The brain just assumes that these things are there and uses whatever it can to substantiate that conclusion because the reality is that regardless of what we think the brain cannot really conceive of this not being true. People are assuming that statements and words used by the narcissist is what they would mean by those and what everyone means by those statements and words. This is one of the things that's necessary to assume in order for basic communication to happen otherwise it's not possible to understand or feel understood which is the fundamental basis for all communication. If you couldn't make these primary basic projections and assumptions it would be like trying to talk to a space alien where you could not assume anything meant anything and you would need some kind of interpretation for every single thing the alien said to you. Knowing someone is different or dangerous or whatever may make you wary at first but if you continue to deal with them this will eventually change as your brain makes the automatic assumptions and projections it needs to make in order to facilitate and engage in communication with another human being. Studies have repeatedly demonstrated that this effect is unconscious and unavoidable even with human like robot machines. Therefore it stands to reason it would be even more unavoidable and even more powerful with actual human beings. Both AI chat Bots and pathologically narcissistic people mimic the way normal, empathetic, compassionate humans interact with each other. Narcissists learn through experience what they're supposed to say and do in certain situations, much the same way AR chat Bots do and it creates even more powerful reactions in people because of the assumptions and projections that the brain is already making. It's simply too difficult for your brain to try to deal with this contradiction it will default to its basic programming and the assumptions inherent to this basic programming, especially if there appears to be evidence that supports these assumptions. And of course there does appear to be evidence that supports our brain's basic assumptions due to the mimicry that AI Bots and narcissists are capable of engaging in, though both do reveal their inability and limitations eventually and though their mimicry does not really ever stand up to scrutiny if you actually look. There often does appear to be enough evidence for our assumptions that these things are ignored or seen as overall unimportant. Even if this doesn't happen ans people do not Overlook these things or consider them unimportant it doesn't matter because they can't stop these automatic assumptions from continuing to happen. When they do eventually reveal their inability to have compassion and empathy is very painful for people with both AI chat Bots and with pathologically narcissistic personalities. We are essentially Talking to Ourselves. We're talking to something that largely uses keywords and phrases to try and create the appearance of a shared conversation. We're talking to something that mimics the way we communicate and focuses on the things we think are important or care about in order to create the appearance of a relationship. This works very well, it fools the human brain and the human heart into believing there is a real relationship with another human being.

@karmahleone1196

Жыл бұрын

That’s why I never wanted to meet his mom I knew she’d see right through me and pinpoint my narcissist 😂😂😂😂😂 and I live alone and I am happy to be alone everyday fuck people💯💯💯

I used to say to myself "anything you say, will be noted, twisted round and used against you in the future". Great video. The hardest thing about it all is that it's not until after you leave the narcissistic relationship you truly start to realise what was going on. And then there's guilt, shame, fear, sadness, regret and embarrassment. Once you get past that stage there's hope, love, kindness, happiness and most importantly forgiveness. I'm recovering from a 25 year ordeal. Blessings and kindness to everyone.

This description is so deeply bizarre and accurate at the same time!

@alanrobinson3902

Жыл бұрын

Isn't it just amazing.

This is exactly happening to me. Such women are the worst of the worst. Yes, they are ill, but please run!!! 🌸

My mother summed up in one short video. I don't know if I should be liberated, validated or utterly defeated by it. Fortunatly, no contact for years now. It will stay that way. End of.

If I ever needed more proof my mother is a narcissist, this is it. This is a perfect description of her. She withdrew from me slowly when I was about 13 and finally told me I wasn't welcome in her house when I was in my thirties. It's been nearly 20 years since I've seen her.

@newjerseydevil6115

Жыл бұрын

Glad you're out of there!

@pickingupthepiecesofme

10 ай бұрын

This is so heartbreaking. You would expect that nurturing from a mother and when instead you get stabbed its so deep. I am so sorry you are going through that. I hope you have found yourself better "family".

@glennerd3125

6 ай бұрын

25 since I seen/spoken to my sister Michelle. Since my narc friend killed himself (narc collapse) I, his wife and his boys, have grown emotionally, interpersonally and socially.

On my Dark Triadic mothers 90 years birthday I celebrate it with Richard the Lionheart and his grannon cannon!😊

@Hawaiiansky11

Жыл бұрын

Ugh, and the pity party they put on when you don't over-the-top celebrate them on Festival of the Golden Uterus...uh, Mother's Day.

@vinozarazzi5633

Жыл бұрын

@@Hawaiiansky11Indeed and I am also certain that there will be a big act where I will be scapegoated and the crocodiles will cry due to narcisstic injury in relation to the horrible fact that I am an authentic human being :D

@sandrathomas2893

Жыл бұрын

​@@Hawaiiansky11 After the birth of my 4 th child I announced to my mom I wasn't going to come anymore to her preplanned mother's day worship gathering because I'm a mother too and want my kids to have the opportunity to recognize this day and spend it with their mom which is me. I'll spare the details but she was outraged! I reminded her that I celebrated this day for you and honored you on this day growing up but we never once went to YOUR mothers on mother's day because you hated her. Then my smear campaign began. Smear away! Makes me laugh my ass off! Finally!

@annettegardiner7270

Жыл бұрын

​@@sandrathomas2893😅smear away made me laugh..

Lived through exactly same script. Came back from doorstep of death. Healing.

@alumesther519

2 ай бұрын

Believe me give itself time,u just got it freedom back,rejoice.

I originally came here because I wanted to gather information for some friends. To my amazement, I was hearing bits and pieces of my childhood and upbringing. I came because I wanted to have a knowledge base to help some gal friends, but I've been sticking around because, darn it, this really hits home! More and more I recognized that I was making an excuse "helping other people" with their issues, so that I could actually learn for myself. Almost like a part of me didn't want to believe that I had been subjected to situations and circumstances. These videos have been revealing for me!

@glennerd3125

6 ай бұрын

Hoping you find your way to post narcissistic abuse AND recovery. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL WITHOUT NARCISSISTS IN IT! I KNOW, I'M LIVING IT! NEVER BEEN HAPPIER!..... NEVER

My mother told me many times that she was "incapable of loving other people" and that she could only love herself. For decades, I had no clue what narcissism was. But to be honest, I was wrong. I made the mistake of confronting her, thinking she could change. The rage that followed revealed psychopathy, not narcissism. It is no lie to say that I was lucky to escape with my life.

@williamtiffee3799

Жыл бұрын

Borderline > to < Psycho... in a rolled eyes, flip! (Covert narcs are bad enough... but at least my mother wasn't violent, nor a "Jeckle- Hydress..." as I now suspect the step- mother I only put up with for minus a year, may well be?) Be well. ;-)

@merry6218

Жыл бұрын

There's a definite overlap of malignant narcissism and psychopathy at the extreme end of narcissism. Very hard to qualify. Don't think experts are particularly good at assessing labels like these well, either. Freaks people coming from 'normal/secure' childhoods out to the point you can't talk about it to these 'normal' people.

@bryanandrew7729

Жыл бұрын

I'm here with you man

@bryanandrew7729

Жыл бұрын

I'm here with you man

@bryanandrew7729

Жыл бұрын

I've seen it as well

If you absolutely have to “deal” with a narc, I would recommend to keep firm bounderies, and keep your distance at the same time. As a second choose on how to deal with the narcissist I would recommend keeping firm boundaries and also to correct them every time they missteps, lie, manipulates etz. When your boundaries are not respected by the narcissist, you need to follow through with consequenses of bad behaviour. You will have your hands full going forward this way. When following through with consequenses to their “re”actions, you explain to the narc, that you are not one of the narc`s victims. You have no intentions of becoming one but will be a nuisance to the narcissist in a way that is irritating to him/her. This method is not risk free but narcissists will often choose the path of no or low resistance. This method is a time consuming path to chose. This route sometimes require more time than you would like to spend on these issues. You feel that distancing yourself all together would have been easier. That is however not always possible. Often there is no way to avoid him/her. You unfortunately have to deal with the narcissist because you are colleagues or close family. You must think through what you need the narcissist to respect and what arias of conflict you must pay extra attention to, to keep your integrity and to detect manipulative behavior. Be prepared and clear in your communication and stick to your guns. Try to stay under the radar as much as you can, even when this method is the best for you. A way that works as well is to play along with the narcissist and act like you agree with everything they do and say. This method works well until many people in the narcissists sphere do the same. When everyone agrees with the narcissist you are back on square one. The narcissist must have victims and this setting is no different. To go NO Contact is another good alternative and method, and is probably the best option when it is possible to cut all contact permanently. Additionally, If you’re like me you might want to consider monitoring your partner device it can be done through a variety of methods such as setting up a dedicated app or else you get in touch with this private investigator Metaspyhub@gmail. com that is genuine to make your request done successfully with 100% guarantee.

You perfectly described my mother, who is more covert about her narcissism and not grandiose.

This is by far the clearest explanation of what is happening. And what I experienced. And why it’s circular. When you break the script, it breaks the reality and all hell breaks loose, when you play along with the script, things return back to the film and it can keep going. Hence the circular nature. You simply admit to something you didn’t do because they are always right and the film plays again.

I never like hearing this but it is what it is

@sandrathomas2893

Жыл бұрын

💥

@WillfullyWondering

Жыл бұрын

Ditto

This might be the most spot-on explanation of female Narcs. The next time someone asks me about my ex, I may simply play this video! Grannon’s analogy to acting and performing is extremely apt, especially in my case as the woman was an actress!!!

Yes you just described my mother. Guess who I ended up in a relationship with? A covert narcissist man. Shocker. 3 years free from him and limited contact with elderly mother now. 👍

@williamtiffee3799

Жыл бұрын

I'm headed that (almost "no contact") direction again soon... myself. My mother is 81, now. My narcish younger brother can deal with her, henceforth. (I've "paid my dues..." in SPADES!)

@4456416

Жыл бұрын

Happy future to you

Hooly dooly, you nailed it!! If you deviate from their script, watch out! Thank you for putting this information out there 🙏

The thing with narcissists is its very hard to explain to other people the type of behaviour and traps they use. So don’t worry about educating other people on the matter, the most you should explain is that the said person is a narcissist, and you can possibly send them a link to this video. Main thing is separate yourself from the narcissist good luck out there

Richard, you nailed the description of my mother.

Married to and living with one for 24 years. Hell is surely more pleasant.

@blacksea1726

Жыл бұрын

I am still amazed why men are so powerless against narcissistic females! Be it men that don’t dare to leave such a partner…or leaving your normal, loving family for one! Beyond me!

@chasradcliffe1045

Жыл бұрын

Iam sure it’s a lot easier in hell👍

@edt4080

3 ай бұрын

​@@blacksea1726man up you got balls boy

@ararune3734

3 ай бұрын

@@blacksea1726 Because the cards are stacked against men in divorce. And even if a woman is physically abusive, you can't hit her back, because you will be the one arrested and locked up, not her, no matter how much you're right and it's self defense. Men are powerless because the state handcuffs them mentally and physically, because a gynocentric society protects women no matter what.

@wendigos_eat_people7177

3 ай бұрын

Then get out then. The only one keeping you there is yourself.

If you have to deal with a family member or a mother who is a narcissist and your still living at home it can feel like your trapped. The best way to avoid the gas lighting or stop getting sucked up in her fantasy bs is to not show her any emotion. It’s not easy & it’s infuriating but the less information she has about you or knows what your feeling the better. I got to the point where I had to remind myself to think “ just talk to the robot & take any criticism as she loathes herself. It drives a narcissist crazy when they can’t get under you skin. Stay Strong and when old enough, Move and get some good friends and therapy 💕

@not2longnow

Жыл бұрын

This 🎯.Currently trying to save my ex narc oldest daughter (still has to live with her mom). Please send me strength.

You described my mother very well, I feel like she completely suffocated a part of me that I’ll never get back, glad to be away from her now anyway

@Open_Source_Society

Жыл бұрын

Of course you will get it back.

Perfect analysis as usual, Richard. It really is like a slow poisoning, so slow and subtle that it's almost impossible to pick up, along with the gaslighting it really is overlooked just how dangerous these individuals are. The destruction that they cause is unbelievable. I know speaking from personal experience. Sickly sweet poison alright

This video has hit this subject on head like no other. I have watched many hundreds of narcaccistic vidioes online to find some sort of traction and reality in life, what's going on with my wife and what happened to me and my existence on this planet . Any person who is under a female narcissits spell should watch this video to find clarity and to relieve their pain and suffering. Watching this has given me a moment of clarity, my blindfold has been removed while attempting to navigate life which is a maze filled with bobytraps. I finally have a moment of inner peace-at least for now amongst the insanity of life living with a narcissist. Thank you Richard

Unfortunately I felt my mother was a narcissist, and I do feel bad saying that, since she has now passed on, but I did have a difficult relationship with her and it still affects me today in my 70s

Oh my God. 🤦🏽 22days off and counting on my new bleeding life. Everything you said Richard perfectly describes her, on a level never been reached before by anyone. You are amazing, keep giving people their life back.

@caterinadelgalles8783

Жыл бұрын

Good luck dude. I had to walk away from a female friend, but I worked it out quickly. A year on and I did the right thing. That will be you next year. Thriving while she manipulates her life away.

@christoshalas2509

Жыл бұрын

@@caterinadelgalles8783 thank you! It took me 4 years, on-off , but for her bad luck I found Richard.. he saved my life

@Halwyn_Parrish

Жыл бұрын

@@christoshalas2509 Happy for you man. You got this ❤️

@christoshalas2509

Жыл бұрын

@@patrickholland5478 that's what I thought 2 years ago when I read the comments of other videos. But she was extremely manipulative going to extreme measures to keep me with her. Lasting from hours till months.. Last time she had been pretending for almost 4 months till we stayed together, in the same house. Then the real hell started.. nothing like before, almost killed me, couldn't sleep, couldn't breathe, couldn't do anything that made me happy before, lost half my hair in 5 months. Hell is real and is around us, take care brothers and sisters, be informed.

@A_n_y_t_i_m_e

Жыл бұрын

​@@christoshalas2509 Some similarities. Lost a lot of weight, lost appetite, felt very isolated, will to do any hobbies, life goals, sports. Felt like I'm cemented in a concrete cube. Four years of this (first two years were "fun", in all areas). This ended two and a half years ago. Took my life back with attacking the issue asap, asking questions which lead me to cluster B's. Find a professional who is specialized in this area of psychology and don't mind the money, best bucks ever invested in myself. Period. Only by watching KZread videos and learning you (and others) won't go too far and closure won't come - and you don't need it. Best of luck.

This is really good and so accurate. also she will act all sad and disappointed if you don't dance to her script, guilt-tripping you back into 'behaving'. the pain thing is also so true. my narcissist doesn't even respond when i inform her of health issues. if we are speaking she will tell me about how she has the same problem just much worse. not a single question about my experience. as you say, you and your experiences don't actually exist for them. the only answer is grey/yellow rock and limited contact. not all of them are that subtle either. the happy ending will never happen!!

Truth be told!

Wow this is exactly how it is. Been there done that and never ever going back. I felt deprived of my own self and my feelings until I understood what narcissism is.

What you said So accurately applies to female employers as well…. It’s amaZing how so many people can be operating in such a similar way….

@sarahbeee

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely. It is frightening. Terrifying, really. Especially if you already know the reality of dealing with a female narcissist and how much damage they can inflict upon you once they choose to after you have upset them in any way. How to break free from yet another narcissist..?

Yes, true. Especially this part about possessing. My narcissistic mother destroyed most of me but not all. Having said that, I’m still not sure if I could find that joy I had as a kid.

@SuspensionTruth

Жыл бұрын

Yes, you can - that joy never leaves us, it just gets buried with all the crap other people sling toward us. We're learning to raise our umbrella, or step out of the way, or RUN away if we have to :) By avoiding their crap the junk we've accumulated can begin to fall off and dissolve. I've dealt with patterns of narcissistic abuse from childhood to adulthood. It gets easier when you TAKE YOUR TIME in making decisions. Don't let anyone push you into something if you aren't ready - including your OWN MIND! Trust your gut, we each know a certain feeling or voice inside us we can trust that's a 'yes' or a 'no' or a 'maybe, I'm not sure, let me think / feel into it.' Really, it's about being in your own space and experiencing life as YOU uniquely are meant to. Learn to feel the difference between an invitation (like someone putting their hand out asking you to dance) and coercion (someone grabbing your arm and trying to drag you to the dance floor). You can feel the energy someone approaches you with and then decide accordingly. I am very attuned to words like 'should, need, ought to, have to' etc. Most of us do really well when being asked questions, and then given time to process an authentic response. Some people can respond in the 'now', others (about 50% of people per the Human Design system) need TIME to get clear on how they really feel about something before making a decision they can trust. We're meant to listen to our body's wisdom, our intuition, our heart - which the mind often tries to control, our mind or especially someone else's mind. Only a manipulative person would take our 'no, thanks' as being mean / abusive / inconsiderate / etc. We don't owe anyone anything other than to be ourselves and to respect their human rights. Respect yourself, demand others do the same - or walk away. It's can initially be a tough practice but the peace you experience is incomparable. Nature is so healing, being near or in the water is so therapeutic (look up 'Blue Mind'). You will find your wholeness and your inner child is always waiting to be held, and to play :)

@schizorap

Жыл бұрын

My mother has been encouraged to be the way she is, absolutely brutal and She knows I am mentally disabled it is really sickening

@billygoatcatfish4754

Жыл бұрын

It's so sad , insnt it. My mommy's boy flying monkey brother will be devastated when she( his mother and partner), leaves this world. But as I have mourned the loss of her already while living with her day to day will apon her passing, will feel liberation and freedom and release. Finally free to be who I really am.

@billygoatcatfish4754

Жыл бұрын

Find a way to validate yourself, seperate from her. Take care of yourself in small ways. Try to take small holidays from them and keep it private. Don't tell them about it . Your little secrets. Take care of yourself. Find someone you can play with. There's tons of people out there.

This is the best video ever explains the female covert narc as the one I am dealing with now, very well said sir 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻.

Perfectly explained! Grow up with a narcissistic mother and you learn to fear her, you learn to never let her know anything about your life, learn that in difficult situations you are on your own. And if you really love someone, just jump over the fence and leave her with all her torture instruments and guilt tripping behind. She will never forgive you, of course. But otherwise, you will never forgive yourself.

I always felt like I was part of a play. My role was to admire the narcissist.

thanks for the info I've been trapped by this all my life

Wow. Nailed it. It took 5 years for me to see and understand this pattern. I nearly killed myself along the way. Now I’ve finally gotten out of it but the headf@(k was so completely I still have periods of guilt and shame for leaving

I'm thankful you are sharing this with the world. It's exactly what I've just been through in the last 9 years with my wife . I thought how am I ever going to explain this to anyone. How could a beautiful woman like this be so evil. It's Shocking . And yes I feel suffocated. While walking on egg shels.. Our kids would say to me daily is mom having a good day or a bad day. Now realizing it's never been good. Thanks for your awareness.

Thanks Richard, that was a very unique and introspective dissertation.What makes this difficult, in my view, is that so many females in my experiences(casual conversations, workplace, etc), do not have the ability to see themselves obectively. Sometimes it is clear if it is because of spoilage, or maybe a current, intermediate, or long term circle of friends, that they retain no ability to look at themselves in an objective way. This ability resides in the prefrontal cortex, where empathy, tolerance, perseverance, learning from mistakes/experience, ability to feel and express emotions, attention span, critical thinking, reasoning, pragmatism, impulse control, and introspect/retrospect reside. I did not catch all of the functions there, but the jest of it is that many of the characteristic traits of narcissism are indicative of dysfunction in the prefrontal cortex, which is the lobe in the brain that is myeliniated last, and is last priority in getting ingredients to the brain, as it is the newest part of our brains.(how is that for a run on sentence). In Hollywood and television as well as radio, people are constantly trying to downplay narcissism and make it acceptable to the point that it is normal. If we acknowledge narcissism as a prefrontal cortex that is dysfunctional, than that cannot become normalized as it is dysfunction/impairment. I hope that makes sense in a way. Thanks for sharing your inisights as they have been helpful. These females are expert manipulators, and can easily recruit flying monkeys by playing a soft voiced female that is innocent, and turn in a short period of time. That can make it easier to figure out in a way, where someone that strategically injects their tactics gradually, and at the right times, as you have pointed out, are much more diabolical and dangerous. Either way. the narcissist has a very limited circle, within how they operate, and writing things down and retsopectively going back to them, will allow one to see the patterns. The prefrontal cortex is the problem here as it is confined to this circle. A healthy functional PFC will have tolerance, perseverance, introspect, empathy, retorspect, learning from mistakes, as those traits require a much wider circle and more memory utilization, than just reacting impulsively through manipulation or spite.

I went from "skip this Richard Grannon video, because he's talking about things that have nothing to do with my wife." , to "0MG". He nailed it in nine minutes.

This is so spot on with what I had to go through. Particularly the, your hurt doesn’t compare to mind, so it’s negated or the in treating you this way, because you’re making me treat you this. No matter what, it’s always on you. Its exhausting.

When all is said and done what one is really ‘interacting’ with is a defence mechanism against reality .. if you mention anything at all as banal as saying you enjoyed your Vietnamese chicken with a friend, even this is going through the filter - ‘they’ will start crowing about how they don’t like this kind of food 😵‍💫 everything is a threat and of course every attempt at communicating is a waste of time aka as Richard says, abandon any attempt at sincere communication, grieve and move on .. 🙏🏻 Thanks Richard this was incisive stuff !

Thanks, I needed to hear this. ❤

Thank you Richard! Absolutely brilliantly stated.

Wow, very insightful description. Thank you !!

Brilliant explanation. As always.

Excellent assessment! On point!

Thank you so much for your teachings

Excellent Richard, thank you for sharing this!!!

I made friends with a single mom at my child’s preschool. turned out to be covert npd. She ruined my marriage. When I went snooping around, turns out, she wasn’t who she said she was. She made up and entirely different upbringing and story about her parents etc. when things don’t add up or make sense, we have to listen to little warning or red flag instead of dismissing it. It’s not just romantic relationships one has to be looking for those red flags. New platonic friendships are dangerous also. My friend was the star and the victim and she slowly slowly poisoned my husband toward me and me toward my husband. We had no idea at the time. But she is broken in the head, but you’d never know it.

@jelkel25

Жыл бұрын

Had a Covert mother so eventually got my head around the major players in my life but the bit players (as it were) still managed to get under my radar for many years. You think the perceived distance between you and said NPD will be enough to keep you out of their nonsense but they chip away at you and the people around you until you are existing in a world of negativity you didn't even see coming. The worst part is you can over react for many years after as you're left with serious trust issues and you can push away perfectly normal people for even a hint of a hint of a red flag. You're isolating yourself with this which leaves you vulnerable to the next Narcissist that comes along.

Crystal clear... thank YOU , for your exxelent articulation on the matter. Eye opening and Insightful ♥

I meant to add that in my attempt to have peace, because I am the opposite of her, and very honest, and I seek deeper truths, I would realize her circular way of keeping any truth at bay. She is something else. Lol.

My ex-girlfriend was a narcissist. We were together for three years. I lost myself, mentally and physically destroyed by the end. I took the last drop of my life force and broke up with her. It was two years ago and I'm still trying to heal. I don't think I can trust a woman anymore.

This is exactly what I need to hear right now!. My boss is playing the role of that abusive female, just because I wanted separate from his company 😂 (after being overworked for the last 7 month with no help, with total 17 years working in his company). No matter how I was trying to explain how I feel, what is a degree of multitasking lying on me, and that I need a help - in the end all this info was used against me. 😂😂 Looks like possession: it wasn't so much visible for all previous years, but now he is like he has a different personality. His creativity gone, no spark of it around anymore. Thanks, Richard for giving me words that describe what is going on.