Empath men should be extremely wary of female narcissists.

@khalidalzayani7072

18 күн бұрын

No shit

@C2DMNFNP

18 күн бұрын

​@@SoundsBogus I don't like to think of myself as empath, however I relate with the meaning and this is the most accurate video, of the hundreds i've watched, describing my relationship. I come from a healthy middle class family, meaning i naturally have a secure attachment style, but the love bombing i wasn't ready for easily lured me into being codependent. Now my eyes are open & I think the op comment stands.

@AniketKapse

17 күн бұрын

As an empath who married a narcissist, I can't believe I fell for her and my marriage just ended after 3 years.

@wavey1z55

16 күн бұрын

Ruined me, be careful guys

@NosajRedner

14 күн бұрын

Oh, I know.

Female narcissist 1. Constantly need for attention 2. Lack of empathy 3. Manipulative behavior 4. Grandiose sense of self 5. Exploitative nature 6. Shallow relationship 7. Inconsistent behavior 8. Extreme sensitivity to criticism 9. Lack of Accountability 10. Boundary violation 11. Isolation 12. Constant Comparison 13. Unpredictable Mood Swings

@waitwhat7724

19 күн бұрын

So....women?

@Aleksander1812

13 күн бұрын

Hero

@SBuk1

7 күн бұрын

Carol vorderman!

@anthonybrown1417

5 күн бұрын

Yep... my mother in law has 90% of these lol

@igavehimadollar3354

4 күн бұрын

i married one all of the above really. One that i havent seen a lot of people talk about is 12. She would constantly pick the very best behaviours or abilities of other males i mean their very best and i would have to measure up to all of them which now i see as just ridiculous but at the time it was just awful for me but literaly all of those things plus extremely explosive behaviour when a story or narrative she created had come undone

If you know someone like this, run and don't look back.

@dr.beckyspelman

6 ай бұрын

Good advice.

@John_Szwed

5 ай бұрын

Just did but 3 years late

@youme4904

4 ай бұрын

Yes, her name is Trish Foster

@crystalwashington9280

4 ай бұрын

@@youme4904 praying for your mental and heart healing and forgiveness.

@John_Szwed

4 ай бұрын

Yes, her name is Krista Goldstein

Listen to your gut. Trauma bonding to a female narcissist is very hard to break away from. My ex narc was obsessed with external male validation, and loved to stonewall and gaslight when you tried to bring up boundaries. On the phone checking, I actually did this to prove she was lying, which turned out to be true, but I was the one in the wrong, even though I confessed to it because I genuinely felt awful. They make you feel crazy and you’ll end up losing your sanity if you stay in their web of chaos.

@Estebar33

18 күн бұрын

i'm sure you confessed or rather abdicated because you just couldn't take their relentless arguing and attacking, accusing, blameshifting, gaslighting, projecting etc....

@Adog5454

13 күн бұрын

Brother i am with you funny thing is j literally fell for one type of narco then another a covert anti-social one to am overt love bomber 304 mom.. the amount out there is startlingly males dating anxiety ridden for me now. Hope you on your way man mine has trauma binder me hard with the dog etc

@clintonnagy1662

13 күн бұрын

Ahhh, yes....the web of chaos. Been there. I felt trapped with NO way out.

@andrewh8865

11 күн бұрын

I saw a message reply pop up walking past her phone late at night from a guy from the past. They had an on and off affair, and he was supposedly an ahole. I opened her phone and there they were, messages between them throughout my relationship with her as well as through her last relationship. Says she doesn't know why she did it.

I had a friend like this. Long story short, everyone thinks I am the problem.

@ronscotti6360

5 ай бұрын

So true

@godzillamanstreb524

5 ай бұрын

It’s ok….your mental health is more important

@ameliagentry4452

Ай бұрын

My ex turned many others against me , including our children.

@crystalwashington9280

Ай бұрын

It doesn't matter. Your true character over time will win out. I have a friend in your situation. At first, the narcissist seemed credible, but over time, we all began to see who he really was. He never had me fooled in the first place though lol.

@PerzinDaruwala

Ай бұрын

So true. I too had a friend that way. Horrible experience of my life. Never about Narcissism about that time. She just used my kindness, abused, exploited and now she is acting like we never knew each other. So much anger I had in my body when I figured out how I was targeted.

When your employee is a narcissist, it's a nightmare. When your boss is a narcissist, it's hell.

@mystiquelareaux

20 күн бұрын

Yup their mess with your money too if they do payroll and claim it's an accident

@paulwilliams5013

17 күн бұрын

...and God forbid that they end up in governments......oh wait....!

I’m an empath man that been married to a female narcissist for 10 years and only realized she is a narcissistic after I’ve been told by two therapists! Seriously, it’s hell!🙏

@romac9516

18 күн бұрын

Be very careful, they get off on others' pain. Watch your back.

@knockout4121

16 күн бұрын

@@romac9516so true… that was my conclusion too… Pure evil

@dappahjord1174

15 күн бұрын

Prayers for you brother

@paulwedding7029

14 күн бұрын

Good luck mate, don't let her know you know and be careful how you talk to. Journal..

@barrymcnamara

11 күн бұрын

Hey love you don’t know what your talking about regards to Ego?! Ego is important it closes the door on original pain from childhood until through strategy of say recognised approved step work with safe others you can deal with that painful childhood so your inner loving self can begin to connect to your True self… your Thinking - Feeling Brain . Ego just survival it automatically inhibits you closes doors to that pain until entirely ready to

The black and white or hot and cold treatment in psychology is called splitting. It is insane behavior. They can go from displays of extreme love to extreme hatred in a split second.

@allenlucas1676

3 ай бұрын

My ex wife had Borderline Personality traits and displayed this all throughout our relationship. The ultimate display was while we were separated. I asked her for the divorce because of her actions. But somehow she tried to give me an ultimatum for her to come to marriage counseling I must allow her to still sleep with another man. It was ludicrous and ultimately what made me not even desire to fix anything anymore.

@hurricaneaquatics

3 ай бұрын

​@@allenlucas1676lol, that wasn't much of a selling point for you was it? Yeah for me, if my wife wanted to sleep with another man, she could, but only after we divorced. Just knowing she wanted that with someone else would be it for me. I feel for you and I think you made the right decision.

@rubyregiste

3 ай бұрын

it's so scary.....

@latinbeat007

Ай бұрын

I have just recently been involved with a girl with this splitting behavior, she ended up accusing me of cheating (obviously she is the one cheating in the shadows)

@jvizzie1033

Ай бұрын

100 percent experienced this. It’s so confusing. I found myself acting like a drug addict looking for the highs. It’s so exhausting.

Zoom in on the eyes, dead in the eyes. Lifeless. Dead. Look for this sign to begin with.

@dr.beckyspelman

23 күн бұрын

True

@bobbyscalchi4013

12 күн бұрын

This advise is spot on and the first thing I look for. It's not just a stereotype and I've encounters it enough to just run away from it as well as their responses.

madam you actually missed one big point, majority of the time they practice selective amnesia like some information they forget and some information they clearly remember and playing victim and crying triggering the trauma bonding to the men they are in the relationship with

@PoyTroy

19 күн бұрын

Man mine was like this. Made me think I was insane and made something up , luckily I had the receipts, texts she sent me. And when I showed her , she then got mad and said don’t pull up text anymore lol

@thadmatson4754

12 күн бұрын

@@PoyTroyi held the line until she started punching herself in the face. To ‘make me believe her’.

@riaandewinnaar5040

9 күн бұрын

It's called disassociation

Just come out of a relationship where a lot of this is relatable. She actually left me as well. Never been so confused and worn out in my entire life and it wasn’t until I was out of the toxic bubble that I could clearly see what was going on. Dodged a bullet, feel sorry for the next guy.

@tonyconnor5691

5 ай бұрын

I've been there

@John_Szwed

5 ай бұрын

He’s already been warned about her ex!

@rubycabatic3414

Ай бұрын

Same

@andreflavell3453

Ай бұрын

no guy will ever be good enough. they are never yours just your turn

@GrantArdern

Ай бұрын

Me too

When I asked her " what she contributed to our break up" absolutely nothing was her response.

@jan854

28 күн бұрын

LOL, my Ex said this about his last relationship. I should have ran for the hills!!

@inpersonaDK

26 күн бұрын

Remember these gals are queens (perfect) and have been delusional conditioned.

@clintonnagy1662

24 күн бұрын

I went through that. When I told her I put more effort (18 months) into the relationship then my past marriage (17 years). She said " what effort ?" That was hurtful.

@Naruto-xx2lr

18 күн бұрын

samee

@Adog5454

13 күн бұрын

Yeah it's spot on here huge red flag 🚩 a normalnperson should be able to answer a few things honestly that they contributed easily. My mother is the same way and even if you get itnoutnifnher she emotionally runs for the hills or her iPad to ignore you

This is a superb breakdown by Dr. Becky! I would add one other sign from personal experience: covert female narcissists hold a grudge for as long as it takes for payback; days, weeks, months. They are so vindictive!

@dr.beckyspelman

17 күн бұрын

Thanks so much.

I’m now an expert on the subject: I went through it with a female narcissist for nine months! Heed my warning: it’s an absolute nightmare do not stay with your partner, run for the nearest exit as fast as you can. These videos are good because it gives you the clarity that you need to know exactly what’s going on

try all of this with the layer of alcoholism.

@allans7281

23 күн бұрын

And being 51 and menopausal

@andreflavell3453

22 күн бұрын

@@allans7281 she is 48 now . was a nightmare. still hooks up with younger guys. met one at rehab .

My wife is a textbook narcassist...right down to the last letter. Its absolutely nauseating and I would make a runner but there is children involved.

@teemuhuuskonen7600

4 ай бұрын

It's better for the children if they don't have to grow up with a narcissistic mother. But of course, if she would get the custody, it's even worse for them.

4 ай бұрын

Understand how your wife is most likely cheating on you.

@mattoast7325

Ай бұрын

Been there. Done that......run!!!!

@TheMillers-ve9xh

21 күн бұрын

Get a lawyer, then get out. Don't tell the narcissist before filing. They will do anything to get the kids, including using the time to frame you for a crime as they want the children to maintain their image as a great parent.

@AgeOfGrace2023

21 күн бұрын

I feel your pain. Im in the same boat. It is extremely hard.

Thank you for this, I was with her for ten years, and the worst part about it is I was I love with a lie the whole time 😢

@robertdemeter5793

5 ай бұрын

If you think THEY are the one that "made' you feel then you are still under their control/spell, you're still wrapped up in their neverending inner delusions/dar-kness, and you learned nothing. The truth is, you were loving YOURSELF the entire time you were interacting with them as they were doing nothing more than mirroring you, there is nobody inside them in the first place, therefore there was nobody for you to love but yourself (as they themselves are incapable of true empathy/love). Stating that they made you feel is like saying an empty robot made you feel, or an empty soda can made you feel. And in the same way it's completely ridiculous to think a Narc made you feel anything...As they were doing nothing more than mirroring you in the beginning. Based on a lie and you cannot truly feel for lies. They are completely incapable of processing their emotions, they don't know how to. And that is why when you state that you love them they greatly resent it, they turn you into an enemy and play their games. Because inside they ask themselves- " how can you possibly love this ? ' Unless you get over these massive hurdles and understand the bigger picture of Universal spiritual truths in your relationships then you will never be the truly empathic powerful loving spirit being you truly are to love the world/heal the world. . .

@SmolTrailer

5 ай бұрын

Ignore the other reply. I'm sorry you went through that, I wish you the best in recovery. 🙃

@AlmightyIn5ane

4 ай бұрын

Same brother i served 8 year's, ultimately i ended up discarding her, we have a 4 year old boy together so she still makes me miserable

@josmclove4426

3 ай бұрын

​@@robertdemeter5793 Wow...👏🏽👏🏽

When the social worker told me I was an abused spouse I didn't believe her at first, I really thought I was the problem. Thanks for your videos, they are helping me understand what has been going on.

They are hell to deal with and give zero back

My ex caused me a serious injury that I have been struggling with for the last 2 years from the complications of it , she however within a couple of months started to treat me with so much disgust that I was not healing and her facial expression was so painful to see that I had to stop talking with her and it was like good riddance for her as she never wanted to address my feelings that I was having with her callous behavior

Run 🏃‍♂️ for the hills and dont ignore the red flags the lack of empathy is a big red flag also pay attention to how they treat the wait staff at restaurants and bars 🍸 you can thank me later cheers

@zenmasterj9497

Ай бұрын

True...my ex was rude to waitresses and waiters. There was always something wrong with the food or service. She had to complain or write complaints most the time!😮

@laurameloy275

Ай бұрын

I love wait staff.

This is so like my mother and sister in law and my brother as well. It's a complicated life😢

One of my friends was a narcissist. Her behaviour got worse as she felt more comfortable around me. She was self obsessed, but then had moments of self loathing. Her boundary crossing was difficult to manage, but after I held firm, she adapted. Her behaviour towards men was a mix of seductive, cruel, obsessive and disrespectful. I called her out and was abused in return. I didn’t want this in my life, so I cut her off.

I was in a relationship for 15 years with someone with this kind of behaviour, but I managed to get out of the situation and I decided not speak with the person ever again, and I haven’t done so for the past 12 years, and I am feeling good in the last couple years I mean emotionally with that person around me. Watching your video I can say was 100% what I had to support, and thank for the video because I can now see bit more about the true. The person also according to the medical experts suffer from Bipolar Disorder, but after seeing your video I do believe she suffer of narcissistic disorder there is no doubt. Your video was very helpful thank you.

@dr.beckyspelman

6 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing and sorry you had your experience all that.

Had a child with one over 30yrs ago, the madness never stops it's relentless 😢

Awesome content! ❤❤The end game seems to let you down when you need them most. 😢

@dr.beckyspelman

6 ай бұрын

So true.

Think I can tick about six of these off the list, I new a female for a while even years actually and I can see now I've possibly been dealing with a narcissist, the only difficult part is that I liked them in a big way and now it's caused uneccessary things to happen. Thanks Dr Becky s this is good

@dr.beckyspelman

7 ай бұрын

Good to hear this and thanks for sharing.

Excellent video! I went No Contact for a year after thinking I might be dealing with one, possibly. She checked every one. But, that's my opinion. However, during the No Contact, she contacted me two days after my birthday to inform me that I was worthless and not worth remembering the actual day. She then blocked me again, before I could respond. Thank you for making this video, I don't advocate for labeling either, I think its used too frequently and thrown around too easily. But I do advocate for observing patterns of behavior.

@dr.beckyspelman

5 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing this and I am sorry to hear you went through this.

Narcs actually go around the world feeling and or trying to take what others have built if your an honest person, who finds healthy ways of having self compassion, healthy boundaries, and choosing safe enough connection, working for yourself your goals, advocating for your needs and taking your space in the world, your an empath with healthy boundaries cause narcs dont really work for things they just think they're entitled to them, so it s good to have boundaries and let good people into my circle and keep choosing safe enough connection and taking up my space in the world im worth it in a good way were worth it.

Well 13/13, don't know what to think, however i already started packing my things yesterday so thanks for confirming my suspicions about this.

Whenever i see a good video about narcissism i leave some of the quotes of my ex there. "Noone can tell me anything, cause noone has my experience" "one could say I am holy" "you think you can compare to someone like me hahaha?" "People like you need to be hated so they learn" "one more word and you will loose your teeth". Was the reaction to feedback. And yeah she was the sweetest person in the beginning with a bible under her cushion. Her triggered rage scared the hell out of me. Combined with the sudden grandiosity I think she is able to do anything to someone and it will never be her fault. She even twisted reality to suit her own narrative. Something just happened and it was the opposite in her mind. You cannot change or help them. Just run.

@dr.beckyspelman

5 ай бұрын

Wow thanks for sharing this, the quotes are both hilarious and horrifying, sorry that you had to experience that.

@hedonismbot3274

5 ай бұрын

@@dr.beckyspelman yeah exactly sometimes I did not know if she was serious in the beginning. Later she raged for up to two weeks after the slightest critique. She called it "endless rage" and thought it is normal. It was insane. She transformed into a witch. It got worse and worse and worse. I ended it once the rage was unbearable. One of the first things that irritated me so much was : in one of our first longer conversations we where talking two hours. And I tried to start a sentence about 10 times and she just interrupted me and talked over me. I was speechless cause I never saw anything like it. I could talk maybe 5 minutes in these two hours. Then she said "did your mother not tell you don't interrupt people like that. You also talk too much.". And she had some strange smile while saying that. I said "are you serious ?" And laughed. I told her she interrupted me all the time and I could barely finish a sentence. She just kept on smiling. That should have been a huge red flag. Now I know better thanks to channels like yours. So thanks for listening and thanks for what you do ! All the best :)

@dr.beckyspelman

5 ай бұрын

@@hedonismbot3274 Wow what a deeply unaware individual, you must have felt bad in her presence so often.

@hedonismbot3274

5 ай бұрын

@@dr.beckyspelman yeah it costs so much energy trying to tame someone that is always going crazy. And the devaluation phase was also pretty hard on my self esteem. Suddenly everything so great about me was the opposite. But you know I am happy I learned so much about this because of channels like yours. It will be helpful in understanding others and also in avoiding the wrong people. Thanks again !

@RebHep

Ай бұрын

That's really interesting! I had a narc boyfriend when I was in my late teens. Over time all the young people in our town that we hung around with started to realise what he was like. He said something similar along the lines of that he deliberately did things so that people hated him so they would learn and grow from him and that it was for a greater good long term. He eventually moved country, probably because he knew he'd burned his bridges with everyone.

One thing to remind the people dealing with this is to heal the part of yourself that feels the need to people please, be co dependant, or lack strong boundaries. These type of people need you to unconsciously accept them. YOU must agree to their terms for it to work. So before you consider another relationship. KNOW your terms. What will you immediately walk away from? What are your boundaries? Are you fulfilling all your needs or have you left a hole for them to fill with fantasies? Also that braid is bad ass Dr.Spelman! Great vid!

You on Point Dr. Becky!😮 Great Information.

Thank you in particular for the disclaimer at the end.I agree a lot of these terms are way overused, and as you said, we all have some or all of these traits at different times.

This was very informative. You put them right out there. Thank you. 😊

Talk HEAVY💪🏿 Dr. Becky.

Very well put and insightful.

Thanks for your educational experience and resources. God-bless.

Very accurate. Bless You 🌤️

clear and concise with care. Thanks Bec. ♥

@dr.beckyspelman

6 күн бұрын

You're so welcome!

You nailed it!

I remember you made a video called "How to have empathy for a narcissist". I watched (and listen to) it today. Thank you!

@dr.beckyspelman

7 ай бұрын

Oh that’s for watching some of my past content.

Thank you. Very helpful. Especially the simple description of “ someone who has difficulty seeing another’s perspective. Yes the term narcissist is used too readily today. Thank you dr

This needs to be promoted 💯

Honestly all these examples could be applied also to adhd people, to dismissive avoidants, people with childhood trauma that resulted in low confidence, trust issues and low self worth... So Having had a narcissist mother there's quite more to narcissm and that these traits in this video aren't really a bullet proof list like it sounds...

@trailerparkcryptoking5213

Ай бұрын

The be all, end all is the total inability to have empathy! The other things are just common characteristics of the narcissist....

@user-rh1hu7yl1n

Ай бұрын

Empathy isn't enough. Sociopaths have empathy they just don't care about it ​@@trailerparkcryptoking5213

Thanks for teaching ...

You’ve described my mother to a T.

@TrggrWarning

21 күн бұрын

Nurturing sure seemed foreign .. now I know why

Hello! Thank you very much for talking about this. Good idea!

@dr.beckyspelman

7 ай бұрын

Glad you like it.

@nicolas_-_-_

7 ай бұрын

​​@@dr.beckyspelmanI do 🙂 And that's great, because I wanted you to make a video about it but I didn't even have to ask you because, obviously, you read my mind, my thoughts 😄 I was doing something but I immediately stopped doing what I was doing just to watch (and listen to) this video. Thanks again!

Man... This is so bang on 😮😢 me and my trauma bonds 😂

My Grandmother is the biggest narc and she act so innocent I truly despise that woman. I’m going to get so far away from her and that fake evil smile

I needed this video 30 years ago. 😂 Laughing to keep from crying.

Thankyou! ❤️

Number 10 I can relate with in terms of previous experience with such a narcissist - they overstep boundaries for example trying to micro-manage you or going through your things, and when confronting them about it, their excuse would be something in the line of "oh but I just did it because I care about you", or "it's part of my love language"" - the latter excuse literally got told to me by the narc in my life, I was gobsmacked when I heard such drivel

My mother in law is a covert narc, plays the victim and lies consistently. She is a martyr, highly sensitive and defensive.Talks over you and has become more racist and can't stop complaining every year. My wife still believes she has mental health issues, my gut feeling doesn't believe it. Toxic energy and I feel sick when I am around her 😞

I have watched many of these videos and has explained a lot of things in my life. It is always said that they had a hard life but the people that have most of these traits are only children that was spoiled growing up.

@milliondollarmigz4324

8 күн бұрын

Disagree I am the only child yet I am a Empath . My ex who was the oldest in her family has 2 brothers & 2 sisters and she was a big time Narc.

My twin sister. I was in the black and white box all my life. I waited for the white box and the black box was hell.. i was always open and excepting of when the great version would be switched on.. she would steal my friends and turn them against me while spreading lies about me my whole life.. its sad because part of me still wants a relationship with her. My arms are always open. But the pain of it all haunts me.. i was always in a loosing battle. I never really stood up or confronted the lies. It almost wasnt worth it so id just try be and make new friends in school or work . My group did get smaller. Then i moved away.. its really sad and unfair and i hate that it has to be this way !!! I think she is a very lucky person with friends from when she was a young teenager in her life now. A very kind caring son a patient partner a beautiful home.. its sad to see her destruct things around her.. i keep my distance but will always answer that phonecall in her drunken state.. get realed in again and then im in, i reach out the following day to communicate to be ignored again.. I'll try this for a while till I get the hint again.

Thanks for this video and especially your ending note. Totally agree! Most videos on KZread about narcism are so black and white.

I have only come to realize that I am a walking, breathing source of supply. It’s a curse that leads me to believe that perhaps it’s just better for me to be alone. 30+ years of codependency and manipulation has taught me a true life lesson that I accept like a gift of an empty box

I actually already knew these because I was raised by one but good to have the confirmation 🙃

Becky, You have no clue how many people come to Ayahuasca ceremonies who've been completely traumatized by narcissistic abuse (mostly men as false society has trumpeted the "modern woman" of being a cold, cruel, calculated parasitic snake as if they're some sort of endearing attributes, lol !). And in the ceremonies they get all the truthful answers and infinitely more than they were initially looking for (spiritually speaking). I was just in a ceremony a few nights ago where 6 of the 17 participants were men and came to the ceremony because they have been completely depleted by their female narcissist partner...and Since eye am an expert on the subject Mama Ayahuasca and I healed them all in spectacular fashion far beyond any words can describe..You're doing an outstanding job raising awareness ! Much love !! You're a Spiritual Warrior my friend !! : - )

@romac9516

18 күн бұрын

Your observation is truly fascinating to read, very glad you shared that. I'm a gay bloke and 50% of my straight male friends are shells of themselves having been hollowed out over many years.

@robertdemeter5793

17 күн бұрын

@@romac9516 Doesn't matter if you're gay, how you look, what color you are, and all the nonsense of human judgment of stupidity. The universe of spirit only cares about your heart and if you inhabit the love, courage, and action to go deep within you millions of times deeper within yourself with Ayahuasca that the ego-mind is terrified of going (narcissists cant go within imprisoned by the dark mind), hence why every religion on the planet states the kingdom of god/universe/heavens/nature/spirit is all WITHIN you... With that said, much love brother !! I know what I say as eye have sat in hundreds of ayahuasca ceremonies with thousands of people from all over the world, and from all cultures...some gay, mostly straight..and none of that matters.. Can you go deep within is ALL that matters ...screw sexual orientation all all that human nonsense. Much love !!

@knockout4121

16 күн бұрын

I understand where you are coming from, but it is not loving to affirm sin. I understand you come from a «new age» mindset, nut there is only one true God! He is the only one who define love and moral, but people are seeking the things of this world and denie the real God of the bible, the real Christ Jesus, and make their own version of him. «New age Jesus» is demonic.

@robertdemeter5793

16 күн бұрын

@@knockout4121 Nothing about Shamanism is "new age", Ayahuasca Shamanism is over 40.000 years old, by FAR the oldest and true original, hence why your criminal bible-writers had to CONTROL..as You had to steal 75 stories from us, and then twist/manipulate those stories to CONTROL...What's new age is your gov't written book of endless nonsense and self-hatred.

@robertdemeter5793

16 күн бұрын

@@knockout4121 As of course, What's new age is your gov't written book of endless nonsense and self-hatred.

Off topic But can wee all jjst appreciate this beautiful soul for all she does for us ! Holy cow so so healing you are ! Ps love the hair and outfit Stunning :)) Angels be with you kind heart Angels be with you all

Definitely my last gf. Very pretty, but wow she is one unfortunately. I feel bad for her and hope she gets help.😢 But she needs to stay the F away from me😂😂

U just described someone close to me giiiz 😩

good video. I thought there was some borderline behavior to but those are narcissists. Definitely a good list

@trinitristant3527

3 ай бұрын

Hi! (my usual language is French) The DSM (=Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) is kind of the psychiatrist's bible (at least in the States but we also use it in Switzerland). In the DSM, their are several Clusters. In the Cluster B, we find: - Antisocial Personality Disorder (psycopaths and sociopaths) - Narcissistic Personaliy Disorder (=NPD) - Borderline " " (BPD) - Histrionic " " (HPD) There are often overlaps in these disorders. For example all psychopaths are (also) narcissists. You can be "X" with traits of "Y"... I come from a family full of "Cluster B" persons. It took me a lot of time to tell them apart. But well, I like psychology so it was very interesting. Saludos from Switzerland! 🙂

@jamesp5301

3 ай бұрын

@@trinitristant3527 Merci. I've studied cluster b a lot. I'm very aware of the overlap and it takes a lot of observation and time to really understand what the cluster of symptoms most resembles but they can even be comorbid! I feel for you coming from a family of cluster b's. I married into a family of them and becoming aware of them has made me aware of some that trend that way in my FOO

@trinitristant3527

3 ай бұрын

@@jamesp5301 Avec plaisir 🙂 Exactely! I married an overt/grandiose narcissist. It was only when, around 1999, after seing a psychiatrist whom told me I was OK and wanted to see my now ex husband that I started understanding. My ex husband accepted (wow! I was very amazed) and we went 3 times to my psychiatrist. In private, my psy told me I was married to a narcissist and gave the name of a book (in French). I bought it and read it secretly. I managed to escape, me, my children and the cat, with the permission of a Judge in 2003. Later on, much more information was available and that is how I started to understand where I came from... Now, I am in peace, live alone and have a passion for psychology. I wish you the best.

Youre right, so sad she caused so much pain.

Your house is wonderful ❤😊

Unfortunately,I married one. She is a beautiful woman and she blew me away with her charms and loving personality. Then I was diagnosed with advanced, aggressive stage 3 prostate cancer. At first, she was very understanding. But as treatment started to take its toll, the narcissist personality started to surface. 45 days ago, she told me she didn’t love me. This after I made arrangements to solve some financial issues for her. She even told me to leave the house knowing I am going in for surgery in a couple of weeks and will need help during the recovery process. And today, she filed for divorce. I gave up everything for her. And I love her to the point of making the ultimate sacrifice for her. Too bad I did not recognize the signs because I am so in love with her. And I still love her just like the first moment I l laid my eyes on her. This sucks!!!! 😢😢😢😔

@dr.beckyspelman

13 сағат бұрын

It's not uncommon for narcissistic traits to become more evident during times of stress or when a partner becomes vulnerable. Your feelings of love and the sacrifices you've made are deeply meaningful, but it's crucial to prioritize your own well-being, especially during your recovery. Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can help you navigate this difficult period. It's important to remember that you deserve compassion and care, particularly when facing significant health issues. Take care of yourself, and lean on your support network during this challenging time.

great research study. it's sad when . Yes they change. with time you need not look too far just a little before your nose you will see it. Isn't it their ego that ruins theeir future?

Great video! Very insightful 🙌

@dr.beckyspelman

6 ай бұрын

Thank Lee 😊

healthy self care is having self compassion , healthy boundaries advocating for my needs in healthy ways and choosing safe enough connection where I can share my true self and get my needs for connection met im worth it , in a good way were worth it. Dont let anyone, male or female / try to dim your light just cause they're jealous, have healthy boundaries and shine my true self im worth it in a good way were worth it . Cheers fellow travelers. And find accounts and places you resonate with . And that are safe enough were worth it.

This was very informative, thank you! How many of the signs/red flags would you say could constitute a narcissist? (assuming there’s no neurodivergent contributing factors)

@dr.beckyspelman

6 ай бұрын

Glad you found the video helpful. It’s just about their general lack of empathy and lack of ability to see other people’s perspectives really.

@SarahAnn33

6 ай бұрын

@@dr.beckyspelman thank you 💜🙏

I hope her end point is taken seriously by more people. So many people are quick to label others a narcissist without knowing all that NPD entails.

@dr.beckyspelman

3 ай бұрын

Absolutely, it's crucial to approach discussions about narcissism and personality disorders with care and understanding. Labeling someone as a narcissist based solely on certain behaviors can be misleading and oversimplifies the complexity of mental health conditions.

Im on a binge watching mode trying to confirm if I’m the narc…because I would get so cold and angry at the constant need for attention…These people are like walking wounds… Like I have an ego if I’m being accused of something I’m not I am going to get angry after a while and when it’s everyday I ended up having PTSD after being cruel and mean to the person always criticizing and talking about her needs because I actually did love her.. She finally discarded me after 2 yrs of me breaking up with her after every fight and taking her back because I hated myself for being so mean and defensive to her… Well 2 weeks after she already has another man in her life and she’s saying she’s been happier in those 2 weeks than 2 yrs with me… She now used me losing my shit on her as me being the narc and evil one…

@lalunit

17 күн бұрын

I'm am going through the exact same thing as you now mate. She ended things last Saturday without wanting to talk and have clarity and closure on things. By Tuesday she had deleted all of our pictures together on social media and declared herself single to everyone 😢 the day after she sent me a massive text about how I've been this great father figure to her son (who I love very much) and she wants me still to be in his life but I know deep down this is going to be very hard to do due to her constant gaslighting and mind games 😢just like you I actually loved her so much and once we got engaged the narcissistic traits just got turned up even more and I didnt understand what was happening it was all very sad. I also kept ending the relationship after arguments and constantly going back because I was always told it was my fault and I always felt guilty about it. She would use her son as a weapon aswell which kills me!! I think deep down all her family know what she's like because a few years ago when I was allowed to go to the pub with my mates I bumped into her slightly younger sister and she gave me a big hug and told me " To have a ABIT of patience with my sister" Those words have haunted me since she said it about 3 years ago I know now what she finally means 😢

So many videos I seen like this one are so accurate but for the lack of empathy statement. I think there is a level of empathy but serious lack of compassion. Maybe my autism takes things literally . But some better explanation of the empathy might help please. Thank you for the video. The trauma bonding is insane and therapy is worth considering. PTSD can also be a big thing.

My ex gf from France, Sandy Patou ticks every box on your list. I walked out on the 10th Jan this year as I couldn’t handle the abuse and mental torture any more. I name the person as people online believe the projection that she is beautiful, funny and a wonderful human being but the reality is she is a human wrecking ball of peoples lives. I’ve even now made friends with her ex bf before me as she triangulated us in the early stages of my relationship with her. A few days after I walked out on her on the 10th January she had her next victim from the USA. Unfortunately these people are among us and need calling out as they do huge damage to peoples lives

@clintonnagy1662

24 күн бұрын

I love how you named her. 😅 I went through the same relationship. I left my parallel relationship 2 weeks ago. These type of people ruin lives and don't take accountability for anything weather it's something small or something huge.

They have a double standard which I remember when you mentioned checking out once’s cellphone and boundaries.

'Direct communication didn't work.' Interesting. Makes perfect sense.

My ex-wife wanted me to believe all this. She knew exactly what she was doing.

Damn... This hits hard :(

Sooooo.... I was dating someone and I opened up to her about how I have low self-esteem about my looks because you know, emotional intimacy, blah, blah, blah... She eventually told her it (my low self-esteem over my looks) "discusses" her (that's "disgusts" in literary-speech). I realize that when someone shows you who they are, believe them.

The nice guy trope tends to make people think that any nice person is always being shady. What's the difference between niceness and kindness.

I can add a couple more to your list: triangulation and constantly moving goal posts. 2 years out of a "relationship" with a text book narc, and she used these 2 tactics frequently, as well as literally every other on your list.

@jvizzie1033

Ай бұрын

Oh, the triangulation. Ugh.

@HANZELVANDERLAAY

Ай бұрын

​@@jvizzie1033yup..my did it...and actually wanted to be married two nites a week..good riddance

@jvizzie1033

Ай бұрын

@@HANZELVANDERLAAY When I actually heard what triangulation was it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was like damn, that’s what she was doing. It drove me insane.

@HANZELVANDERLAAY

Ай бұрын

@@jvizzie1033 ya gotta just move on..time makes it go away..2.5 yrs later I am good now

Took me almost 13 years to realize my partner does each and every one of these 13 signs

Mine has just let me go after 5 years,i was on the receiving end of most of these behaviours 😢it still hurts so bad but after reading and watching alot about narcissists this last few days i know in the long run i will be better off without her. I tried so hard to help her but everything was my fault 😢

To Complex for me 🍸👍

The label ist 100% justified and people who tell me otherwise are most often narcissists and later dumped by me. So yea using this label is 100% right for those who deserve it.

I still remember approaching you at Liverpool St station and giving me RSDGs contact details lol

@dr.beckyspelman

22 күн бұрын

Haha yes I remember when you asked for the train to Chingford.

@dr.beckyspelman

22 күн бұрын

Must be 15 years ago now.

@OnderHassan

22 күн бұрын

@@dr.beckyspelman Can’t remember what I said, but I do remember you not being too impressed lol In hindsight, should have been more direct. Would have been nice to grab a drink.

Dealt with someone like this, just leave and dont look back

I ran into a person that meats a lot of these points. Years wasted smh.

True 👍🍸

She reacted to my cousin wanted to go last min xmas shopping while she was away doing the same. I went with him and she got pissed. She got pissed at her sons 17th bday party because i was giving her 24 year old son "more attention " than her. I paid for carry out and the order was messed up when i got home. Was given the silent treatment. Seen an old co worker at a restraunt and talked to him too long as she was waiting in her booth. Silent treatment....blah blah blah. Geez🙄

Avoid, divorce run away

My ex is hitting every number. Especially #7. She raged on me when she left. I came home to a couch on fire in yard broken glass broken guitar, door, windows. It completely blind sided me that this sweet woman who is loved by so many in the community could be the extreme opposite to me.

My ex was a narcissist… I confronted her several times about some behaviours and the world blew up! When I said she even had traits of narcissism all hell broke loose. These people can be great but need to be checked constantly!!!

@rogerwhoareyou

13 күн бұрын

In my opinion, they are only great during the love bombing phase or when they are trying to hoover you back under their control. Any other time they are mediocre and a big share of the time very difficult to be around. There is always some difficulty or fire that needs to be put out. Going to restaurants is usually always difficult as they seem to think the waiter and especially waitress is paying more attention to you and giving them the aditude and/or stink eye. That's how mine always acted, everyone was against her and giving me the google eyes as she would call it, even though I know that I am nothing special. I'm not rich, young, good looking, no six pack, etc. Just an average Joe as one would say. I do talk to people the same way that I would like to be treated, with respect and kindness; something that she seems to lack so often.

@dappahjord1174

13 күн бұрын

Sorry to hear that brother but we live, we learn and we move on!

Why does this super great video have only13K views ???

@dr.beckyspelman

4 ай бұрын

Thank you for the compliment and the extra view 😊❤️

@arjennijeboer250

4 ай бұрын

@@dr.beckyspelman Thank YOU Dr. Spelman!

What you're saying is spot on. But, does it make me a narcissist to admit that it's hard for me to pay attention when your hair is so amazing?

@dr.beckyspelman

4 ай бұрын

😂 thanks you for the compliment.

Just broke up with one today n i was hurt at first but now i feel free from the wierdo thank god

My ex girlfriends father never told her he loved her. May have had an impact. This has been a perfect analogy.

@rubybegonia7052

20 күн бұрын

Interesting when you read these comments and you say to yourself my father didn’t say that either, and neither did my mother, and you see how much you downplayed and acted as if for your whole life, while they sauntered on and expected you to.

Almost married the narc i am blessed to have seen the light She almost broke Met up with all my frieds i intro to her Did the stuff i didnt like jealous making flirting lies inconsistency it is just chaos with a narc Run as fast as u can u cant build a future with her

Unfortunately, my mom has at least 8 of those signs, i am trying to avoid her as much a spossible now, im tired of her lack of accountability and manipulative behavior

@omartrachen6794

Ай бұрын

And ohhh, she doenst respect my boundaries at all..