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Psychological therapy videos from Dr Becky Spelman and her team of Psychologists, Psychiatrists and Psychotherapists at Private Therapy Clinic based in London's Harley St. & video call appointments worldwide. Our videos cover topics such as anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, addiction, and much more.
Dr. Becky Spelman has a particular interest in personality disorders such as borderline personality disorder, narcissism and dissociative identity disorder.
Two new videos weekly.
Ask us any question and we'll try to make a video on it. The more subscribers we get the more videos we'll make.
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I usually just check the rhyme scheme and the tell-tale bawdiness.
my adrenals put too much adrenaline thru my body this is so true 😢😢😢😢😢 panic attacks are awfu.
11 sings: 11 minutes of watching this video
Hi doc. How about your wife is talking to his Ex ones in a while thru Facebook without letting you know.. and you caught it and she still trying to change the topic if ask why you still talk to ur ex without letting you know?
What does it feel like to lack a sense of self? What does that even mean? You know you're there, right? I've listened to dozens of Sam Vaknin videos, but I still can't understand this.
The shoulder at 4:14 says I guess so but can't be certain. Doubting mania is barely shy of the nut house. I would knit myself a schizotypal jacket with that batch of goodies. The young lady does a great job of applying self-distraction as if not waiting for a bus. An educated narcissist would be tempted to play his and hers Pygmalion with that kind of toy or might choose to balance your bicycle forever. Ahem..No manipulation necessary.
The truth about transgender children is their clinical depression rates drop a full 80% when they have just even gender identity affirming parents alone. Otherwise they have a high suicide rate. Also true, there's an awful lot of conservative anti transgender religion and politics and its negative media and otherwise sensationalism and propaganda in the world that just doesn't really help them very much even at all.. It instead manufacturers the conditions in society whereby not only suicide is more likely but also they have about the same mathematically proprtionate chance of eventually being molested, raped, assailted or murdered. All in near enough mathematically proprtionate rates to the discriminations and stigma man made and manufactured and placed against them by conservative religious and political and industrial strength economics in society. The truth about transgender children is national and global scale religion and politics. political oppresses them even dare being loved as a they are, and it murders and manslaughters them by deliberately ignorant if not deliberately maliciously harmful and destructive psychological torture and all otherwise means. However, the same things that kill them also killed 12 year old Ronin, and he wasn't even transgender. Wasn't gay like people said, either. Ronin was 12. He didn't have a sex life. Ronin just liked cheerleading. Society gave him the usual conservative anti transgender child death sentence for it and drove him to suicide too. Turns out same stuff kills even any kind of kid/anybody's kid. Because traditionally often to usually sexist and otherwise merciless conservative man made conditions that kill kids, kill kids. That's the truth about those transgender kids.
She tool the words out of my mouth, "we (women) are all a little bit of a narcissist." LOL. If you think of a reflection like the origin of Narcissist it makes sense. But is she good willed or ill willed? That's the question.
How can ypu tell if youre narcissistic, borderline or autistic?
Narcissism is demonic possession. It's time to acknowledge the spiritual aspect of antisocial behaviors.
An Ex is a common and obvious affair partner. Your partner should only be in contact with their Ex if they have a child together. In all other cases, they need to be No Contact with their ex if they want a long term commitment relationship. Contact with an Ex is a boundary you never cross. No Contact with the Ex is at the top of the list when considering a partner for marriage.
I don't think they intentionally gaslight, they can't remember what happened.
Good point
I am so glad you did this video. Unless we speak with the person and find out their perspective we have no idea where their behaviour comes from or what triggered it. Even if they will not discuss it with us we still cannot assume this is a narcissistic personality. It could be numerous other reasons to do with their background, it still does not make them a narcissist. We all exhibit narcissistic traits, as you say when triggered or even when depressed etc.
It is like saying, A rapist doesn't rape, he just satisfies himself sexually. Mrs. , why dont you just accept that you are narcisist? Ach, becouse you are narcisist.. Saying No One is a Narcissist is damn Narcistic thing. Jesus Christ. Im Narcistic, i recognize it in others. This women is very possibly narcissistic, she just deny it, and is trying to cope. I will give just 1 simply example. If somebody gaslighting you, then he is Narcistic. Thats it , no need more examples , ego have nothing to this, normal people doesnt gaslighting others. This women in this video just indirectly said, that it isnt true . So gaslighting is ok, huh? XD Its only 1 example, there is much more.
This could explain the source of my sudden interest in BDSM wanted to be abused and degraded because of a series of associations where the fantasy of the person fulfilling my needs was greater than the reality of their rejection of my needs and the association. It feels like having the rug pulled out from under me when I didn’t know I was standing on a rug.
funny because this is why QBcheck isn;'t actually the most accurate way to asses for ADHD. You said you ''tried hard'' to do well in the test. So this actually skews the results.
It feels better when I left my narcissistic friend and went no contact. From my experience, I had a friend who had narcissistic personality disorder and a female even though it is more common in males and in romantic or family relationships. I tell you that relationship I had with a narcissistic friend is probably different from what other people experience. Yes, I learned that there are “friends ” who are abusive and that means these people are not your friends at all. I suggest anyone who is a friendship with a narcissist, RUN AWAY FROM THEM IMMEDIATELY!! It’s important to save yourself first!
I have HSV 1 so I completely understand you as a black man it's so sad not being able to feel normal I feel like women won't like me
This girl has been obsessed with my boyfriend for the past 5 months, im trying to learn the mindset
Thank you Dr Obaz for your skilled hands and continued follow-up. I feel truly blessed to have you as my doctor. You’re the best doctor ever, and you have a great team. Gratitude.
This is dangerous misinformation.
Most guys become narcissists, in response to narcissistic women as a defense mechanism. Narc modern women expect to be worshipped and do not reciprocate... so men follow suit and that's how you get the Andrew Tates of the world. Vicious cycle
If they showed every car crash that happened, you wouldn't go out in a car, but one plane crash every few years and people are going crazy about flying.
Would love to see Kylee chat with HG Tudor - narcissistic psychopath. He still talks about having a supply. I know psychopaths can't be fixed, but 20mins ago I knew the same thing about narcissists. I think the chat would be good, regardless.
I just thought I'm going to mention my experience (in case it helps someone else notice red flags): - sex was great, out of this world - he loved to pleasure me (which in a sense way a way to pleasure himself) - I wasn't allowed to say things like 'oh god'- I had to say his name specifically, otherwise we would get very possessive on the verge of brutal - he was guilt tripling me into sex: •even when I just came back from work and was very tired, he would say 'the sex is the answer') •anytime and every time he wanted sex but he 'respects my boundaries so it's okay he can adapt because he loves me so much' (after all not many people have so much testosteroneand so much sex drive' -what an alpha male he was not... •he could go on for hours even when I was tired and bored and hungry to be fair •he even told me once that 'my emotional problems of withholding sex from him is just making the time pass without anything good happening and his prime years are passing and he's getting older and useless' (victim mentality and guilt tripping) -whenever he had free time he could touch himself for 5 hours straight 🤦🏼♀️ Please, if you feel any type of confusion around the relationship- LEAVE. You don't need to understand- first leave, then you will understand- and save yourself years or maybe decades of misery. You deserve better. And you know it. PUT YOURSELF FIRST. Ps. Instead of working with me through the issues that I was communicating were not feeling right- he, instead, tried to change my perception (manipulate me) about why my perception is wrong and the problem is with...me.
Sam Vaknin.
Natural method is going carnivore
I met a female on a dating site,were still talking but would it be offensive if I asked her if her feelings are true from heart or is there limerance involved? Thanks for a great video I learned a lot from it.
Does anybody have any partner where they broke up and left the relationship, slept with soembody else, only to come back to you?
Narcs cannot see themselves, they cannot look in the mirror per se. This is either mimicry or fake. If it's mimicry it's a different game level, run.
I can't believe how relatable this is. I have done so many of these things in relationships. 😦
I'm grateful to have come across you Dr Igudia youtube, I'm now free after I used the medicine you sent me, having herpes simplex virus almost ruined my life but I'm happy today after I used your treatment
Thank you for this.
You have always made me believe I can recover from Genital Herpes and I did. Thank you Dr Igudia for your medicine, your care, your service, your support, most of all your honesty. You are the best doctor I have ever come across.
Covert narcs can apologize sometimes esp if they will benefit from it.
I think limerance/hyperfixation combined is probably one of the most painful things I have experienced. I'm autistic too, and twice have I hyperfixated. I'm a serial limerance user. My limerance partner was one of the two I hyperfixated on. He was sexually obsessed with me. Only.. probably one of the worst things I've experienced. Emotionally. He just married the person he chose over me. I found out yesterday. We worked together. I have to really, really pay attention to my codependent tendencies. Therapy helped me a Lot, but a lot of it had to come from training my brain off of them and fixing my validation. I was a bit delusional tbh, but we had been on and off for years. He was like water through my fingers. Though, if I am fixating on someone or getting limerant, I have to cut that shit out immediately. Limerance will have you living a full life with someone mentally and have you fixating on someone 24/7. He was a future faker and a narc. He said the thing he liked about me the most was how much I wanted him. And if you need me, I will be perishing in the corner. I kinda created a future fantasy to look forward to and plan to have, and girlie, i did nothing to get there also. Therapy and healing to us all. 💜
Thankyou
Well crap, this would have been nice to know 10 years ago in high school
Haha those idiots are fucked 😅😅
I mean, the tatoos and body mods are a clear signal that something is going on.
All i can say is.... Run.
Love isn't even real as a long term thing. I wish women could understand this. This whole video is a cope. Just make a commitment and understand once you have kids it's not about you anymore
You are not a narcissist you've just forsaken your convictions.
My mom is pretty narcissistic. Only in her eyes i am the worst child in the world, her words are really really hurtful towards me. She says stuff that i cant even tell you. There was a period in my life where i was self harming alot because of her, and my dad. My dad is now so much better at helping me cope with my emotions but my mother does not really care. My mom struggles to respond with good emotion and a good tone, its always screaming and i end up crying. Everytime i try to do something nice to her, and i end up doing one wrong thing, i am such a brat, a bitch, a bad kid and etc etc.. She completely ignores my feelings and does not care of i think anything. One point in my life my parents were about to separate and i did everything in my will for that not to happen. The problem happened because my mom made a very big mistake. Im really tired of her, she says that she’s always right, but she really isnt. She doesnt let you talk when youre arguing and by that she doesnt hear ur side of the story and basically she is right. Ive been through so much shit you can never imagine, and im only turning 13 in september. I do everything she says, everything she wants me to do , and everyone tells me to cut contact but i cant do that because im still young. Can someone tell he how to deal with this?
I so much appreciate Dr Igudia on KZread for his positive contribution towards curing my Herpes infection, I became a laughing toy in my school, God bless Dr Igudia who provided me with the best remedies.
I don‘t think his a psychopath. Psychopaths are born with it. He might have sociopathic traits.
Mine would rather pay for trans prostitutes, coke and pay porn. Sex was horrible as you can imagine.
With narsassists being 0.6% of the population very few people have ever even met a person with narsasistic personality disorder. Yet everyone talks like they are on each streetcorner of the world... It takes more than a few youtube vids and wikipedia to know that about a person, and no, your "mean" mother or cheating boyfriend, or bitchy wife was just a selfish bastard, not a narsassist or had BPD...
My friend have these two disagnosis pluss ADHD. the way the internet have demonized those 3 diagnoses is the real insane behavoiur here. Everybody and their grandmom is calling every persons that have ever hurt then in their lifes with thiese diagnoses. KZread really have made an army of armchair "psychologists" who specializes in the dark thriad diagnoses... My friend is easier to deal with 90% of both men and women in this world....
I'm glad to know what I was feeling wasn't love. It's such a relief to have a "diagnosis" if you will. This was truly a BAD relationship and I got caught up in something very toxic. Thank you 😊
That sounds so painful, I’m so sorry to hear this.
@dr.beckyspelman No no, please don't. I wanted to believe love the REAL DEAL wasn't supposed to feel like that EVER. It really turned me off of love and finding a healthy relationship and giving in wholeheartedly for a long time. But than I realized that not everyone is out to get me or use me or abuse me. This video just confirmed what I knew all along but didn't have the vocabulary for. Now I can teach my girls the signs to watch out for and hopefully they learn not to make the same mistakes I did.