I have tried to warn these twin flamers that they are dealing with narcissists and the abuse they are experiencing is not part of a mystical connection, but ordinary narcissistic abuse ! Imagine how well that information was received . I give up.

@memyself2630

3 жыл бұрын

@Lisa YES there are thousands of tarot card readers on KZread telling people tht the Narc is their soulmate or “twin flame “ when all it really is......is hell bound narc!

@stevenhoog1

3 жыл бұрын

I write for Quora and there is a SLEW of all this romantic twin flame crap coming. At first I thought gag drop the labels and such. Opening my mind I understood indigo children, star seeds , intuitives.

@stevenhoog1

3 жыл бұрын

I recognized that I was an empath in that I can feel other people energetically. I am no more important or special than anyone. I happen to be skilled in reading other people. And I am a spiritual person and a helper and rate high in agree ability. But I’ve been humbled and can say humility is a by product of being crushed and broken and betrayed. I am like an angel. A dark one. I tell people I’m no angel and I dont pretend to be anything but me. I’m my authentic self. I’ve accepted my darkness.

@chrysichrysi7889

3 жыл бұрын

@@stevenhoog1 So you have embraced the dark side? I keep hearing they have cookies.🤔🍪🍪

@caprisonne4442

2 жыл бұрын

In my book the chasers are on the borderline spectrum and fall in love with a fairy tale.

This is exactly what happened! I withdrew into the darkness that was my new mind. I self-isolated. I lived in constant panic & anxiety. I have been watching your videos since the final discard, 6 months ago. This one really hit home. I can never return to that hell. Thank you, Professor. I am forever grateful for you and your channel. ❤❤

Brilliant video! Exactly what happened to me with my ex. The twinflame legend is simply an excuse to justify toxic relationships! Runner and chaser dynamics aka the narcicisst/psychopath/borderline using you as their supply. The love bombing leaves you absolutely hooked and it's extremely difficult to escape such a trauma bond!

@MrsJAC23

3 жыл бұрын

Yes! It's basically a possessive, obsessive, sado-masochistic cult as far as I can tell!! These self-proclaimed "empaths" certainly don't have ANY empathy for the spouses, partners or CHILDREN of "their twin" (i.e. their *targeted obsessions*)!

@nafissforghani3866

3 жыл бұрын

Yes. So true 😔

@Dnice365

Жыл бұрын

I think a lot of people got caught in this new age phony baloney garbage. And stayed in toxic relationships longer because of it. 🥴

No one wants to go through this and usually, you find out whilst in the middle of things or at the end. Let me remind you how beneficial this will turn out to be. It's like touching a hot stove. Your parents warned you not to do it, yet you decided to be a rebel and find out for yourself what was really happening. You got burned. Your brain will then automatically remember the pain every time you're near a stove. And as much as you regret not listening to your parents/ gut feeling, it does not matter. Now you will spot the red flags and you might even be able to warn others about it. Getting over a narcissist is one of the most traumatic experiences one can have. After it's over, you are invincible. Or at least that's how I feel.

I survived this deception with my ex. He mirrored me so much that he would finish my sentences. We thought it was cosmic. It was toxic and abusive for 2.5 years. When I woke up from the dream I realized my entire home was damaged. Im so glad I am free and I can breathe now. I can accept my flaws without self flagellation. I can praise myself without being idealized. He was an excellent actor. It was a brilliant deception but a deception nonetheless. Thank you Professor.

@dharavasishth

Жыл бұрын

thank you so much for writing this comment ❤️

@kellymurphy8418

11 ай бұрын

Same

I love this content! The new age spiritualists in the community are so hyper focused in this shenanigans that they lose themselves in the process, not realizing how lost they are within and they define this idealism to direct their lives which is sad.

@phoebusapollo4865

10 ай бұрын

I love your general sweeping comments like you know ALL the new age spiritualists

You nailed it, Dr. Vaknin. I fell for this whole “Twin Flame” nonsense, years ago. The more I looked into it, the more I saw that it was self-victimization (self-abuse) and abuse from the one that was mirroring, love-bombing, and mentally and emotionally abusing me. The New Age “Twin Flame” nonsense is just a way to nicely cover up losing yourself in another, with a huge smattering of abuse from one’s self and their partner. A few years back I looked into the overt similarities of a “Twin Flame” relationship and straight up abuse. This was a fascinating listen and you brought far more enlightenment to the topic. Thank you for your bluntness and for letting people know that they are not better than another by labeling themselves as an empath; they are actually declaring to the world that they have deep issues with being a victim, loving one’s self, and having boundaries. I was so excited to see you post this video and it was a delight to listen to. Again, thank you for your succinct and profound input on just how toxic this belief is.

Haha exactly what I went through, apart from the empath thing. I never believed in empaths so he tried to pull the "special connection" bullshit on me once, then resorted to repeating that I am a very good person 😂 From the beginning I saw that he was a genius manipulator but I was depressed and bored, so I decided to entertain that and play along. With time, the emotional need to take him seriously grew stronger and stronger, his acceptance and love bombing alerted me and at the same time tempted me, which created a huge cognitive dissonance - I could not let him continue but I could not let him go either, and slowly I lost my sense of self and started feeling like a helpless child. My mood totally depended on him. I was in a trance. He tried to force me to forgo my principles because "we're the same but life made him do things he otherwise wouldn't do". Thankfully, my values were strong enough. The last remnants of my analytical mind told me to gtfo, heal and change my life because I knew that it all happened because the life I had at that moment sucked. I made some drastic changes and now I just enjoy the life on my own terms in solitude. Picking up the pieces of me and remembering my values.

I had to listen to this 2x. I've bought into this idea of empath and twin flame, however have since come to see empath as another name for codependent, and an excuse to stay in an unhealthy relationship, calling it fate.

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

"Empaths" are at best covert narcissists.

This happened to me. I didn’t know how he was able to get inside my mind like he did. It felt good at first. But I had no idea, he would be discarding me at some point. So knowing he was leaving sent me into a dark place of despair. I couldn’t function. I was so scared. I needed him to fix this but he wasn’t available. Once he left, it was like I woke up. I woke up trying to figure out what happened. It felt like I had been gone and now I was back. I couldn’t remember certain things. I was asking my kids things. I was calling him and he was so calm saying to relax everything is ok, he is still here. I can’t explain the shock and pain I experienced. I felt every emotion I had in my body. My life I just had was gone. It was snatched and I didn’t know why. Took me years later to remember things. He did something to make me forget. He did so much to me. He quickly and quietly got inside of me. So I need him. I can’t think on my own. He was gone and my life was just hit by a tornado. Well he is moved out but convinced me that we we’re still together it would just be better this way. I went from being with him everyday to feeling like I was searching for him daily. He seemed to be ok even though I wasn’t. He started making me feel like I needed to get help. It got worse. I fell apart and he made a new life.

I always thought of my ex as a parasite. When I first broke up with him (many attempts), I remember going through a solid week of recurrent panic attacks. I remember writhing on the floor, crying, saying to myself, "I just want to be a person". I didnt even know who I was anymore. I felt like a broken, helpless little girl, which also felt humiliating. I felt myself to be this confused, embarrassing, pathetic woman child. Looking back on that time makes me angry.

@Allahisadicksuckingmosquito

3 жыл бұрын

Same thing happened to me 😔. I forgive myself for betraying my soul, and not leaving that narcissist early on.

@Queenchar86

3 жыл бұрын

Same.... was definitely some kind of awakening after though.

@aidanbyrne2172

Жыл бұрын

Me to painful experience

Absolutely brilliant. Listened to this 3 times to catch the nuances in Prof. Vaknin's explanations, and the understanding here is beyond anything else I've ever heard on this topic. Highly recommend this and all of Prof. Vaknin's lectures.

Actually it is out own mental addiction to the other person that makes us tolerate so much of abuse and humiliation to the extent of losing our sanity , and we label it empathy and unconditional love. The love is of course conditional, that the abuser is our drug and we are its addicts.

@tovenrvik6336

3 жыл бұрын

The narcissist gets under the skin of their victims, things happend so quickly, bcs the narc need someone to abuse, when the victim tought they was adored.

@scoobyd3691

3 жыл бұрын

You're definitely onto something. Now ask yourself: is it truly because of another person? Could it be that you've met them before, in a different body? Chances are you have. If that is the case, and if you note down the things these abusive people have in common, you will be pleased to know the answer you're searching for is very close. Because you are the common denominator in this pattern, or should I say mirror? Just something to think about.

@gemcove5783

2 жыл бұрын

Not me. I was on top of the world when I met him. Great job, owned my own home. I was captivated by him at the love bombing stage which lasted years. Devaluing stage came when he decided to ignite his alter ego to satisfy his sexual fantasies with another Narcissist. I did love him unconditionally when I took him back twice but after awhile I realized he never really came back to my son & I because he continued to be absent finding other kinds of sources for his supply when he decided to leave his career in a criminal way. That was strike #2 for me…Later came more serious crimes against my son & I & landed him in jail twice. #FREE YOURSELF FROM THE NARC #NO CONTACT #SHOW THEM U R NO LONGER IN THEIR CONTROL #HEAL YOURSELF & BECOME TRULY FREE!!!🦋🦋🦋🦋

@aimforlifenow

7 ай бұрын

@@gemcove5783 I'm sorry he took you away from grace, hopefully you can get back up there soon. If you're still thriving, let this be a reminder that you're clearly worth everything and more. Let this loser die in regret that he never found his other half.

'They pray on your confidence'. Well explained.

This is the most enlightening video I have ever seen on twin flame/empath relationship psychologically explained from childhood trauma never healed. Thank you for sharing this eye opening perspective that helps to get to the source of the wound. ❤

I listened to this video like 4 to 5 times and still feel I need to study every word you said by heart to ingest it with full awareness..

This is spot on. I believe many of us learned this the hard way but the truth sets us free! Thank you, Professor Vaknin, I love your work.

2 words: trauma bonding I've recently seen some psychologists talking about the topic too. I think it's not that crazy that people (even non so-mentally ill) give in to these sort of fantasies - at least for a period. We've been sucking all the hollywood movies & music on crazy, idealized, full of obstacles love since childhood. This, along with our human need for uniqueness + a little reality escapism, are the perfect ingredients.

@dominikasabolova414

2 жыл бұрын

I totally agree, the art is full of this consept of finding of your second half, your soulmate. So it’s understandable that we are influenced by it because it’s coming from every corner. I actually stopped listing to the radio songs because of it.

@mytwosense5223

Жыл бұрын

I agree, well written

@patrickhuttel513

10 ай бұрын

There's a book that might be of interest for you: In the Name of Love: Romantic Ideology and Its Victims by Ben-Ze'ev & Goussinsky

It's like a drug, idealization is an addiction. I experienced an idealized form of love, which I still cling to, so I find it hard to let anybody else in my life at this point, no matter how many promises are made, I can sense when it is wrong. It's always someone that can't reciprocate the same amount of love, I was capable of giving to my soulmate and by the way, who felt the same way for me, it was mutual, it was perfect. After we had to separate (I won't get into details) I've been experiencing heartbreak to the point of physical pain. And I will rather be in pain than with the "wrong" person. It can be someone good for me, but I don't care. There are nights where I can't breathe because I miss the person so much, I miss my drug. Does that transmit to the lack of true love from narcissistic parents? Because I don't think it's entirely my fault that I need someone to idolize me too..

@aidanbyrne2172

Жыл бұрын

I totally relate to what you wrote the suffering so much pain never again I am not sure if my life in relationships is over I hope not

This is gold! The reality is...he's a POS...but my mind thinks he's an angel😇 We are being bamboozled in the worst way. Thank you Sam! Grateful for your expertise and wisdom.

Love your work.

Thank so much for this it makes me realize F$@k all that twin flame stuff. Every word you spoke is what I felt and went through, going through now. I am adopted and healed from so much rejection and abandonment, but however I attract narcissistic people and I thought being a empath was a strength but now I see its a delusional struggle. Back on the road again to introspection. After each narc I became more distracted and living in the fan-sty of hopefulness of union. The internal dialogue sucks hopefully one day soon it will just be me and my voice instead of his.

Thrilled you discuss this topic specifically and so refreshingly direct and unapologetic. My ex-N used the twin flame term and while I didn’t believe at first, was slowly was sucked into the cocoon. Years into (2016), I found your book while searching for “idealization and discard” (term you coined) because it more aptly described the twin flame “runner” and “chaser”. Many thanks for this video, all your other videos, your book and using terms which are precise.

I was in this twin flames label. Lately, after 7 years, in the state of detaching I realised he was a classic narcissist and he is just hoovering me in classic way. This realisation made the bubble crash. But the healing I was doing during this relationship, healed me from my borderline. Now I feel free from him and my toxic needs.

This is absolutely very well said. He nailed it.

A very intricate process! Thank you for sharing, I bet it takes years and years for narcissists to refine and perfect their entrainment process with their next supply.

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

It also takes years to become a perfect victim. This is why many victims are emotionally invested in and proud of their victimhood.

@LuminousWarriorOracle

3 жыл бұрын

@@samvaknin Yes, and they give themselves the honorary title of “Empath” and say I will continue to abuse myself mentally until I find my savior who will do it for me then I don’t have to live with myself and Bonus points: I have someone else to blame.

So much falls into place ... Thx

this is my life unfortunately, I am trying to unravel the bondage & attempting to heal. Recently I encountered a twin flame with such intensity that I did feel like a child, it was scary af & highly erotic, intoxicating codependent bender of a relapse. I tried being the narcissist but ended up showing my codependent cracks & crumbled. I know I am not a self proclaimed empath, & I do align myself more and more with schizoid borderline, when interacting with the opposite sex. My unhappy marriage of 17 years has most likely transformed me into a narcissist & I hate what I have become & am constantly trying to be a good person, to no avail in my opinion. I do snapshots & identification as a way to alleviate the pain of being alone while going through a divorce with a narcissist. I have learned I can be my best companion when given a chance, for I trust no one at this point in my life, except myself, & even that comes into question on bad days.

Thank you, Dr. Vaknin! Hopefully, more people will be aware of the danger so-called "twin flame" causes to mind.

Excellent video.

Thank you for addressing this "twin flame" nonsense

Great video

Wow was this good! It helped me understand how my connection changed and was fortified with my wife. After we where married I couldnt understand why I was feeling disconnected. I would try over and over again to reconnect by trying to start conversations. I would ask what was wrong or what she was thinking and she would say "nothing". It was so frustrating and would always walk away without answers. If i would have only known. That was 16 years ago, I dont ask now. Coming back to yourself is very difficult until you start to let go. Thank you Dr. Vaknin for videos, my perspective on reality has changed so much.

I once believed in twin flames until I was discarded by my “twin” and that’s when I started to do a personal deep dive as to why I went through such a situation and what it said about me ultimately. Then I started learning about attachment styles and narcissism and that he’s likely a malignant narcissist or a psychopath. I still couldn’t fathom how I was able to be so deeply intertwined with him though if there wasn’t any real love there, and it all makes so much sense now! Ive searched for many answers and no one has explained it in such a clear and concise way as you did! I feel like I’m able to detach even more from him now that I have a deeper understanding. THANK YOU 🙏🏽

@littlewing4065

11 ай бұрын

Weirdly it forced me to heal on the deepest levels. I mistakenly thought we were supposed to come back together in order to heal again. I just saw cycles of abuse and outgrew it. It forced me to exercise my healthy boundary muscles lol

Dr. Vaknin! PLEASE! 🙏🙏 the narcissist has “colonized” my head. Can you make a “step by step” video on how to get them out of our head? Thank you for all your videos.

Thank you for this. I've shared it several times. I used to write about my "Twin Flame relationship" and a woman stole my writing (even the personal, private conversations with my guy I'd written about on my blog) and she made a book out of it, then she created a "Twin Flame coaching program" that's crazy expensive. Multiple people reached out asking if I was her. No, I'd never even heard of her until she took my blog posts and made a Twin Flame coaching program out of them. I'd answer a question on Quora and the crazy lady would basically recite it in a KZread video as tho it was her own thoughts. I researched what kind of person would steal another person's writing, do something like that. Now I get it. I confronted her, she said she stole from someone called Liora and not me. WTF?? So I started trying to explain to people that a healthy relationship wouldn't be toxic but I get a lot of pushback.

i believe that my "twin flame" is actually a covert schizoid personality disordered individual, whereas i have borderline personality traits.

Powerful and important exegesis , also delineating “Stockholm syndrome”

"Soulmates"

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

Yes, forgot this trope. Thank you.

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

Not like me to forget or not like me to thank someone?

@mikeramos4608

3 жыл бұрын

@@samvaknin So the Romanticism of the 18th Century where wrong? Belieivinf in ideals is the foundation of the Enlightenment in the West. Without a belief in an Ideal - Divine or Human has lead to the Age of the Narcissists. Arguably, a return to the foundational myths of ancient times can save us fron the anti-humanism of Narcissism

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

@Mike Ramos I prefer narcissism to religion and mythology: all three are forms of mental illness.

@krystalkmacky

3 жыл бұрын

💯

Bravo! 👍

How boring if I actually stumbled on some person who is my "mirror"; a clone, ugh...if there is such a person out there ...I will most definitely run away faster than anything😵

And sex is used as a weapon of Entrainment.

Maybe people who fall prey to their idealized self are the weaker forms of narcissists who like seeing their own reflections.

@XOXO-kc7pm

3 жыл бұрын

@@murtithinker7660 to live vicariously?

Minus such labels this exactly describes my relationship with my girlfriend I attributed it to finding my one true love but uniqueness of my situation at it's crescendo my girl died. She was borderline and I'm now I'm stuck hopelessly in love with the her snapshot. Its been almost 1 year and I'm fucked up beyond all recognition.

The "chaser" is often the only one who believes it's a twin flame connection. So although the chaser is the one who gets discarded, isn't the chaser the one with the narcissistic traits? Idealizing the runner and basically never getting over them? Or does the runner bring narcisssitic tendencies out of the chaser? As the chaser myself in what I thought was a twin flame connection I'm about 11 months into healing from the experience, particularly the abrupt abandonment... And I've just started to consider that I may in fact have narcissistic tendencies. I mean she was by no means without a slew of disorders herself, growing up with a narc mother, abusive exes etc. This was really my first time being so smitten with someone and so deeply mindfked by a relationship. I hadn't experienced ghosting or abuse before this relationship. And I just wonder now if we were both narcissists or if she showed me my true narcisssism beneath my empathy.

Met a guy at a bar, we had an amazing conversation. I was euphoric then I turned to my friend and whispered “shit!!!”

TF will show you what you need to know. It has nothing to do with a loving partnership.

Sam, the prophet has done it again. Agnostic though he is, he makes me believe in a god. Truth.

31:00 don't mind me, i'm just paging this amazing excerpt about the schizoid dynamic. i wish it was something talked about more often when it comes to this disorder. it's been nearly 2 years now since we parted ways and i don't think i'll ever be able to live with it. i thought that's just how normal relationships feel to non-disordered people, haunting to think about how it was all just an elaborate manipulation.

@prof this is amazing explanation of the phenomenon. Know someone who went thru this intense experience recently and was ready to leave everything behind ( his family) to be with a twin flame. Then when he tells the twin flame the same, the twin flame retreats and tells him she never had such feelings for him. Thus causing extreme rejection and the depression to the other. Can you Sam explain the ending scenarios of twin flame connections?

Great message professor. Can you please direct me to a video to move on from twin flame attack. I want to not be attacked again but I want to enjoy life. You are very educated and intelligent. Most of us live in a different world. We are all vulnerable from attacks these days. Thanks for sharing

@samvaknin

8 ай бұрын

Watch the videos in the healing and recovery playlist.

@yancyhebert9937

8 ай бұрын

@@samvaknin thanks for all you are doing

Hi Sam. Is it possible that this is a 2 way street and each twin gives as good as they get in this parenting-infantalising mirage?

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

Yes. Watch my vids on shared fantasy.

Thank you so much for all your in depth work that helps illuminate and clarify this almost psychedelic experience and what feels like coming out of a Sci-Fi movie. . This was in such precise and granular detail my black and white understanding of what happened is now in 4K full color vision. You mentioned that the TF/narcissist/psychopath adjusts their frequency to the other. I felt a very strong magnetic pull, energy especially in the beginning that I’ve never experienced in any other romantic relationship. Is there any explanation for this, maybe from the point of physics?

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

Watch the video about entraining.

@beatrice349

3 жыл бұрын

@@samvaknin Thank you.

I was always suspicious of such ideas. Still am. Hhmm🤔. Of course, we all want to do self-improvement (by ourselves), no help needed from others. Realistically and practically. What others think are important to me. Lol besides, I don't tell anyone what I am up to with me. It's my life after all!☺️

It's a Parentified fantasy... It reminds me of the Thai story about the Buddhist practitioner that's mindlessly grieving; he grabs a hot pepper 🌶 from a bucket full, and after taking a bite they cry 😭 then toss the hot pepper aside and pick another one, then taste it, lament, and grab another 😋😭 😋😭😋😭 when asked what they're doing they reply,"I'm looking for the utopious sweet pepper."

Can we use the twin flame and soul mate idea interchangeably here? I assume you can but would like to know your take on it.

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

Soulmate is a moderate version of the same dangerous nonsense.

hello, prof.Sam, does the narcissist also suffer when he needs to split from the fusion with the partner? is there a part in him that wants to remain in the shared fantasy and merger? thank you

My most powerful feeling was reaching mutual climax even if later I may have realized It was not mutual. That memory is the most powerful. If I conceived as well wow. This is why I would compromise. For me this the human goal emotionally. 😍

There is also another way, the ninth way, to live with an narcissit, become a man, with an absolutely clear mind develop your consciousness and personality have a big heart be firm and steadfast to what you stand for be courageous heal your traumas and get rid of wrong thinking patterns just take him, at he is he ist he best teacher, you have chosen If he then wants to stay with you, it is a gift for you, and for him.

Is there any suggestion of a kind of psychic detox to recover the identity?

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

Time heals all narcissistic abuse - and therapy, if you suffer CPTSD.

@dorianmorgenstern1267

3 жыл бұрын

@@samvaknin thank you for your reply. I am finding helpful your nothingness channel too.

I would love to follow you, I wish, to be translating the content into Arabic to advance it

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

Please do.

@rama90hh

3 жыл бұрын

كل فيدوهاته جد حسياعدوا نساء الوطن العربي المعرضات للعنف بأشكاله من النرجسيين والسيكوباتيين

Hello wise mister Vaknin. I'll let myself ask you an offtopic question.; do you know if there is a link between being an only child and narcissism? (excuse my poor English)

@samvaknin

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, there is. Narcissism is more prevalent among firstborns and only children.

@H_G_82

2 жыл бұрын

@@samvaknin Thank you.

My thoughts about Empaths and how they think of themselves as superior because they have access to the other person’s feelings and they can mirror it, is for me the most hypocritical notion. Empaths thinking they’re better than narcissists is incredibly narcissistic. Narcissism is the injury of Self or a lack of Self, and it happens to many victims of child abuse wether they later on in life survive as narcissists or as Empaths to me is just two sides of the same coin.

@edithisaok580

3 жыл бұрын

Right, at least you and Professor Vaknin have the spine to identify it. The greatest spiritual truth is that both good and evil as dualities are purely egocentric. Narcs think they are above the ground, and empaths are just injured snowflakes who got their hides carved off, handed back to them, and have the audacity to think that they also wear some special badge of honor.

Bewitching mindfuckery, we eagerly embraced!

Exactly

How does the narcissist know how to activate the parent figure and all this?

@KerryLeighBrett

Жыл бұрын

Good question but they study you.

if i hav the chance to meet my twin face to face again i swear i will beat him up for wasting my precious time n money on reading n Master

So the twin flame function as pseudo self to fill the place of “missing” core/self in the other person?

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

The "twin flame" regresses even perfectly healthy targets into very early childhood at which point he he is introjected as a parental figure and false self.

@mohammedothman9833

3 жыл бұрын

@@samvaknin thank you for your reply.

@annbraden2666

3 жыл бұрын

The narcissist ex actually told me after weeks of meeting that he thought we were "sisters in a past life". What nonsense, I thought. But it was much more than mere nonsense.

This is totally happening to me. What do I do about it. How do I disconnect from him energically

@imjustaroo

Жыл бұрын

Put the focus and energy into yourself… become your own lover… why would you give something to somebody else that you aren’t willing to give yourself?

@littlewing4065

11 ай бұрын

The only thing that broke spell for me, disconnect and block them period. You cannot heal until you stop consuming them and anything else (tarot, etc) that reinforces the belief and pulls you back. Sam and other expert videos help to fill in the vacuum. Twin Flame Deception, a channel on KZread also explains what is going on so you can understand the actual delusion. You’re not crazy. You are just in crazyland created by something nefarious. Once you break contact, close and LOCK that door period. You will be tempted to reopen but I promise once you do you will find yourself once again in HELL. I likened our “reunions” to a hot air balloon with a tiny hole poked in it, he floats back in on it and I, stupidly and excitedly climbed back on thinking it’s on its way up until I look around realizing we sunk into hell but I cannot get out because we’re surrounded by flames and pitchforks lol. Or, soured milk you pull out of fridge and taking a swig only to taste the bitterness of it, so instead of dumping it you put back into fridge hoping next time it tastes fresh. 😂 It’s a cycle. Meditate, focus on your mental and physical health, rebuild your life and only surround yourself with people who lift you. Be at perfect peace with being ALONE and single. The carrot at the end of the stick is always there will be final Union once you’ve “healed” or “Not everyone can do the twin flame journey, only chosen ones.” You are perfect as you are. The twin flame concept is actually making you reject that concept. Tarot readers will say things like “Why you and your twin cannot be with anyone else” or “When your twin rejects you it’s a gift!” Freaking crazy making rhetoric that forces you to accept abuse because it’s for a “higher” purpose 🤦‍♀️ can do this and will see miracles if you don’t succumb to the temptation. 🙏🏻

Question: what is the difference between the infant’s creating an internal object of parent (which I understood you to say was normal/healthy) and the narcissist “snap-shotting “ you...creating an introject..? they sound basically the same?

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

The narcissist is supposed to be an adult, not a baby.

So the BPD transform anyone into a situational narcissist

I wonder, narcissistic can do that to their partner but why we can't do same to them? Why this mechanism doesn't work on them?

@nilaykapilar373

3 жыл бұрын

@@expandhealthinc.1887 thank you

@samvaknin could you do a video on your personal thoughts of how humans came to be….. why you think we here, where we go when we die…. Just interested to see your views and personal beliefs

@samvaknin

Жыл бұрын

Subscribe to my Nothingness channel.

In my experience with New age/Twin flame bullshit, The main aspect isn’t just the psychological. I know that’s where it all stems. The dark magic and tarot, the manifestation and “energy work”. The shadow work, the “being true to your authentic self…. All lies produced by evil and these people don’t even know they’re listening to familiar spirits who want your life. That’s how tarot works. You think you’re talking to spirit guides?!? So did I. God saved my family and I. I’m on the borderline spectrum and dude is a narc. I had an affair with this person and it skyrocketed when twin flame was introduced. And it wasn’t introduced by accident. One thousand truths for one lie. The one lie is that Twin Flames are nothing but a money making scheme and led by evil. Once you’re out of it listen to a New Age to Jesus testimony and you’ll hear how STUPID AND INSANE the whole concept is.

Such a mind fuck

I've just hit reality after 3 years in twin flame lala land. I don't know if he is a narcissist or psychopath, he is mildly manipulative but I don't think he is a mean uncaring shell of a man. In hindsight I don't think he made me get lost in this, I wanted to understand my own emotions and fell on the concept. He never really encouraged me, more he pushed me away, but in a kind of push pull way. Now in reality I believe I am a love addict who gets stuck, I can never end the love addiction because I also have sexual trauma so am celibate, until the other person somehow breaks my fantasy I get completely stuck in the fantasy. Firstly I want fixing, then I want to completely surrender and please the person. I never realised this until I met this person, I really looked deep inside myself to understand my emotions and my desires, I've never spent so much time with internal thinking until last year because of covid, the time at home was very helpful in self reflection. Now he has a new woman, I wish them happiness but I don't think it will work, in many ways he is stuck on his past love. I wonder if it is possible we were both wounded avoidant attachment love addicts. 100% I did the snap shooting you talk of. Everytime he opened up a bit about his life I felt like my brain was like a satellite navigation recalculating this new information because my own mind had taken a wrong route.

@saralowe5306

2 жыл бұрын

Update, maybe I'm a borderline, I mostly disagree with everything I wrote in that post. My infatuation was nothing to do with him it completely came from my own head. Blocking him into non existence has given me time to clear my head, but I've been so disregulated and emotionally unstable. Nobody really notices/ cares because I'm mostly on my own and hide away in crisis. My poor kid took the brunt of my emotional stress, I feel like she judges and hates me, but whatever, she will grow up and leave home in a few more years and start her own life. I don't even know what I want (other than my ideal vision of a partner) nobody can live up to my fantasy so I may as well just stay alone forever. I have very high morals I hold myself to, probably so I can judge others without having to be a hypocrite, so going wild and loose and sleeping around isn't an option but the amount of toxicity and bad feeling swirling around inside me over the past months was like a poison. I did it to myself.

Thank you very much for your videos Mr. Vaknin. Always, very relevants and clarifiers. A doubt that arises to me is, if the process of twin flaming or soul twinning is only carried out by narcissists and psychopaths, can we asume that a borderline, in its state of acting out, could also carry out this process? Aditionally, I refer to a borderline "fleeing" from his narcissistic actual partner. Forgive the question and my English. I hope I do not offend anyone. And, of course, thank you very much