“Let’s be honest, you ever just be tired of being alive” felt like he asked me personally and directly

@swallowme535

2 жыл бұрын

Talk to somebody

@mevolveme

2 жыл бұрын

Love this comment hhaha

@emuccino

2 жыл бұрын

you're so unique and special

@kirkquintero3893

2 жыл бұрын

DNT lie eric

@PulloffPrime

2 жыл бұрын

ditto

The one and only time I went to Beef, some woman stripped to 3 Rage Against the Machine songs back to back to back. It was magical.

@chazblank2717

3 жыл бұрын

Someone else put together a compilation of his bit about “Bikes!” with original footage from that show, so you get to see the kid with the bowl-cut getting verbally abused... ahhhh lot...

@ablabuda4662

3 жыл бұрын

@@chazblank2717 WHERE? i wanna see it pls drop the link or what i can search up to see it

@CuteQube

3 жыл бұрын

@@ablabuda4662 just search Tom Segura scared straight, it got a black guy verbally abusing a kid in the thumbnail

@nintendoROX121

2 жыл бұрын

There's a midget that works there!

@Therealdrewdober

2 жыл бұрын

What 3 songs

My dad has a great sense of humor about being old. He'll look up into the sky, shake his fist and scream "you can't keep me here forever!

@David-yw4qd

2 жыл бұрын

lol epic dad

@meumnomen

2 жыл бұрын

Watching an old man shake his fist at clouds is one of lifes greatest pleasures

@egonkl3in212

2 жыл бұрын

LOL🤣

@stlsennin

2 жыл бұрын

Brooooo 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@ginger_nosoul

2 жыл бұрын

My dad is kinda the same except he cant raise his fist.... with all that dirt on top of him 😜🤣👍

"He can add like a son of a bitch. Four, eight, twelve... he gets it." He nails the tone on those lines.

I'm 71. That pretty much sums it up.

@Powell

3 жыл бұрын

To add sugar to the pot, look up his basketball dunk injury haha.

@ferise1

3 жыл бұрын

I used to tell my parents ld leave home at that age

@volcryndarkstar3283

2 жыл бұрын

As George Carlin would say, "I'm 71, which means I'm 69 with two fingers up my ass."

@catsandcarsringtailgang6188

2 жыл бұрын

Oh God David! I'm 70, be 71 next month! Dana please tell me whut it's like? And Don what do I have to look forward too? Hey, and Bob, and do you kno jim Biden the Presidink ? Heard he's an asswhorele !

@thetooginator153

2 жыл бұрын

David Knigge - I’m 60, and I remember everyone being excited about increasing life expectancy when I was a kid. “When you kids grow up, most people will live past a hundred! Isn’t that great?” I wish I said “Yeah, but will they do so willingly?”

"I'm coming round the corner, look down" that killed me hahah

I worked at a nursing home in my youth. When I walked into the room I would ask the men I was taking care of "What can I do for you today." They would always answer "You can get me a coffin."

@Hygelac1000

3 жыл бұрын

Sad. The ideal is to keep your faculties long enough to not be a burden and pass away at home.

@moparmuscle4036

3 жыл бұрын

Probably more cause their useless kids couldn’t take care of em and dropped em at a nursing home? Lol

@robertloerwald3

3 жыл бұрын

@mopar muscle Shoulda raised better kids

@leegibson5469

3 жыл бұрын

@@robertloerwald3 Maybe but this guy owned a hotel chain and didnt want for anything other than death it would seem. He had a private room and a private RN. Cost him about 20k a month 20 years ago. Well, come to think of it. I do not know if he had any family. None ever visited him. I was there for about a year.

@subarusumeragikun

3 жыл бұрын

@@leegibson5469 That was really depressing but interesting. Thank you.

BEEF is an aggressive name even for a steak house

@Kwaj

2 жыл бұрын

*Guy #1:* I could go for a nice New York strip. Know any places where I can grab a steak? *Guy #2:* Lemme see; there's Grey Slate Bar & Grille, Stax of Flapjax, Chateau de Vineyard... and Beef. *Guy #1:* (slightly taken aback)"Beef"? That's the name of the place? I'm kinda' curious to see how it--- *Guy #2:* No. Just... no. I'm sorry I brought it up. But for real, NO.

My mom was a hair stylist at a nursing home for a few years. She had a client named Gladis. Every time she came in, my mom would ask “how are you today Gladis?” And without fail, Gladis would say “I’m 96 and I want to die”

@seanpatterson5948

2 жыл бұрын

Jesus.....(upvote)

@trafficcone2633

2 жыл бұрын

@@seanpatterson5948 redditor moment

@frankcarrasquillo6394

2 жыл бұрын

Gladys

@gabe2349

2 жыл бұрын

@@frankcarrasquillo6394 are you correcting my spelling for the name of someone you don’t know and never met?

@frankcarrasquillo6394

2 жыл бұрын

@@gabe2349 👍

I have to appreciate that he changed it from "third grade" to "grade three" for the Canadian audience. Thats attention to detail.

@meesalikeu

2 жыл бұрын

yeah all the states have their own quirks

@winterwarden

Жыл бұрын

@@meesalikeu like the state of canada, or the vatican

He's not wrong, my girlfriend's grandfather actually just passed away due to his spine snapping from taking out the trash. Kinda eerie that Tom mentioned this exact cause of death here in this bit.

@thedredgod

3 жыл бұрын

come on now. grand kids clearly broke that spine then glued it back so trash could take the fall

@alecwoodruffmusic

3 жыл бұрын

@@thedredgod shhhhhhh don't blow her cover bro

@chaz4110

3 жыл бұрын

Tom knows.

@dc3174

3 жыл бұрын

Well this is the darkest KZread comment I’ve ever read

@alecwoodruffmusic

3 жыл бұрын

​@@dc3174 You sweet innocent child. There are many darker comments out there lol. It is sad though in all seriousness -- he was a kind man and his death was very preventable. In fact, his neighbor had actually told him he would take out his trash after work, but the old fella tried to do it himself before the neighbor came and he fell on the concrete in doing so. I'm happy I got to meet him before he died. Just super weird to hear this precise cause of death mentioned in Tommy's bit here! This happened about 6 months ago.

You can tell this is an old clip because he still looks like Bert.

@newengland707

3 жыл бұрын

Bert is definitely a Beef girl

@dlee6985

3 жыл бұрын

Bert 100% would love the beef.

This crowd was dead. He's amazing!

@eyeseer1

2 жыл бұрын

The audience is Canadian, let them be boring.

@studlymcstudburger

Жыл бұрын

That woman in the front row can butter my croissant anytime.

@colesmith7754

Жыл бұрын

I think the crowd isn't very big

I'm 71 Tom but enjoying life, your comedy is the best!

Omg! The old man! “I don’t wanna be here anymore “ I busted out laughing and my husband almost wrecked!🤣

"I'm coming around the corner look down".😭 I laugh out loud and hard and that rarely happens, even with good comedians.

Its called the beef baron.. was formerly a steakhouse.. name was never changed.. and yes. It is grimey AF!! Lol love it

@flagsabbath6483

Жыл бұрын

Didn’t the hells angels run that club?

I don't understand how the crowd isn't laughing their heads off. I'm dying! What a great bit! Tom is in my Top 3 favorite active stand-up comedians.

@AndrewMacLaine

2 жыл бұрын

Every clip from this venue sounds like the audience hates the comedian. I really think it's because the audio feed is only from the one handheld mic, so it only picks up the laughs from the front couple of rows.

@donishanwar6385

2 жыл бұрын

Who r the other two

@heatcheck3

2 жыл бұрын

Canadians

@JamesOKeefe-US

2 жыл бұрын

Same!!

@farmag

Жыл бұрын

idunno man, I guess he's not that bad but I often feel he's like Louis C.K. on decaf.

"Are you ever tired of being alive ?" That one girl in the audience : WOOO ! Death is awesome !

@masterxyr

2 жыл бұрын

got a good laugh from this. well played

jokes about breaking his spine, then breaks his arm horrendously trying to play basketball in his 40s

@fuzzyflick9905

3 жыл бұрын

Ha ha 😂😂😆😆😋😂😅😂🤣😭😭😭 with the name of the place I was going u I too to it up

@Michael-zf4pi

3 жыл бұрын

That's like saying, Joked about getting pulled over. Gets pulled over. Ain't that uncommon lol

@mostlypeaceful1817

3 жыл бұрын

That shit was hilarious. I’ve watched Tom laugh as people suffer terrible injuries on his podcast so I thoroughly enjoyed laughing my ass off as he went “ehhh ehhhh ehhh” on the ground 😂😂😂

@sjtv6565

3 жыл бұрын

I believe he also has a joke about skateboarding at 40+

@whocares8735

3 жыл бұрын

Fake.

Very funny. I’m 58 and have an 86 year old friend. So outgoing and funny. We meet at least once a week at a bar with friends and he’s socializing with everyone! Plus they rarely put charges on bill for him. There are fun and cool old people out there!

@alzychoze6591

3 жыл бұрын

Right. Me too- many friends in their 80’s ....My guess is Funny Tommy’s opinion will shift as he approaches 70.

@WinkLinkletter

3 жыл бұрын

@@alzychoze6591 "Getting old is a fascinating thing...the older you get, the older you want to get."-Keith Richards

@Mrh3rpd3rps

3 жыл бұрын

It's called comedy, calm down. Don't take him so seriously.

@kennielsen3896

3 жыл бұрын

@@Mrh3rpd3rps he is funny!

@michaeltoon1235

2 жыл бұрын

We get it U found a diamond in the rough

I love that he asks if we ever tire of living. Nobody ask that question, but we all have that feeling sometimes. Love me some Tom Sugura!

This version of Tom looks like a drunk Orson Welles selling champagne.

@tommysalami5268

2 жыл бұрын

Nice reference

@crimsondynamo615

2 жыл бұрын

*AAAAAAAAAAAH* the French!

@eyeseer1

2 жыл бұрын

Segura looks like Jack Black with a high IQ.

@Wallaceshead

2 жыл бұрын

The finest frenshhhhampain

My parents were born on the same day. They're in their mid 80s now. My mom just suddenly fell apart around 20 years ago she looks terrible and has all sorts of medical issues. My dad still looks like a young god. It's amazing. Getting old is different for different people.

@Raxxer1993Q8

Жыл бұрын

a young god, out of all the terms 🤣

@Anne--Marie

Жыл бұрын

May your parents keep a sense of humor

@shadowpriest2574

Жыл бұрын

Man generally age more gracefully.

@Anne--Marie

Жыл бұрын

@@shadowpriest2574 That is not true.

@helloidharbl6753

Жыл бұрын

The dice roll of genetics can be a friend or foe.

My husband and I are old. He was smiling and I was LMAO, tears streaming. You nailed it, bud.

My great-grandma (who's like 80-something) carried two of my heavy ass suitcases up her ice-covered stairs in negative Canadian weather in like 2.5 seconds and then told me to hurry up cuz it was cold outside. And I wasn't being lazy, she's just fast lmao😂

@trevorveillette8415

2 жыл бұрын

I guess when you're that old, you can just risk death like a motherfucker when you're tired of living.

“I’m not suicidal, I just eat like it.”

I've been to Paris, Tennessee, and never knew that their "Eiffel tower" existed until just now. Apparently it was built for a fair in the early 1990s. but it's hardly a local point of pride, from what I saw (as a visitor). What they do love there, is the giant fiberglass catfish on top of the "Welcome to Paris, Tennessee" sign!

@catsandcarsringtailgang6188

2 жыл бұрын

Awonder how many ppl poked their eye out on the pointy whiskers?

@shinsch

2 жыл бұрын

LOL .. there is a Paris TX too and they also have an eiffel tower

Tom is one of the greatest comedians.

70? I am almost half through my 30s, and Ive had enough. Im tired of being alive.

@bebechacarra7062

2 жыл бұрын

sameee...

@blu3j00Ls

2 жыл бұрын

Agreed. Not worth living.

@catsandcarsringtailgang6188

2 жыл бұрын

Hmmm? OH !! Sell off your body parts! A kidney here, an eye there, maybe a lung.... You'd have 💰 to do FUN stuff and enjoy life again! Just sayin.

@j.s.thomasesquire2388

2 жыл бұрын

I heard there's a strip club in Ontario that might bring the wonder back to your life.

@robertjohn9684

2 жыл бұрын

I'm 34 I've almost give up on life I don't even masturbate anymore I have a girlfriend I proposed to years ago can't be bothered to marry her anymore most she gets is a morning quickly

I don’t know where my life would be if I didn’t know about this national treasure of a human. God I love him

@elduderino7767

2 жыл бұрын

are you a sociopath? to get the best value and relate you kind of need to be

@jamessouza7065

Жыл бұрын

Ok let's not get carried away alright ? Exaggerate much? maybe a little?

I'm from and live in London Ontario. Love hearing Tom talk about us...good or bad

I've literally not said this in a solid 20-25 years but I could hang out with this guy. We'd be right there.

“I’m comin around the corner look down” lmao 😂

Tom should visit the Parthenon in Nashville.

@ENikolaev

3 жыл бұрын

Or Knoxville, Tennessee 🤣🤣 I think that’s worse than the Paris one

@Hygelac1000

3 жыл бұрын

The Parthenon in Nashville is cool, though. The tall, ghetto residential building next to it isn't.

@EthanDCash

3 жыл бұрын

Or Memphis Tennessee

@mattw337

3 жыл бұрын

Paris, Texas

@mattw337

2 жыл бұрын

@Atlantis Rising Great Town. Lived here my whole life.

I LOVE TOM SEGURA! He is hysterical 😭

Let’s wrap this shit up...word

After 30 years in the military…. Living past fifty is a real ball buster…. Too much partying, too much breaking down my own body.

@bearsmith3655

2 жыл бұрын

Very true brother….. very true

Wanna go to Beef? Nah let's go check out Fart. That part had me dyin!😆

"I'm coming around the corner look down" ☠💀☠💀☠😭🤣😂

My Grandma always says, she is like one of the old dudes from the bible. That she is full of life now, satiated. She ate every curse life has to offer and now she just gets to wait in peace - and please don't call me for mothers day.

This set is my spirit animal.

"I'm coming around the corner. Look down." hahahahahhaha

This is so good!

“Alright, let’s check out fart” I laughed so hard I cried😂

Preach Tom Preach! This was spot on 💯% accurate!

I can listen to this guy for hours

Living does get tiresome. Just wait another 20 years & the years will weigh on you like a ton of bricks.

Definitely awesome 🤣😂😅🌍🌄👽🌅🙏😇🎼🎨🌕🚇🌊🛸🎸🌐📬💯🔉📡🍷🕶️🏁🇨🇭🔝🥁🦿📫🦾🎶🎵🖌️🛹🇺🇸

Tom, you're - definitely - the best !

@noomade

3 жыл бұрын

not the best.... number 3 :)

I’m so old, I don’t buy green bananas anymore

@FirstLast-vj2sr

2 жыл бұрын

🤣

@masterxyr

2 жыл бұрын

I don't even have a fridge no more

Tom Segura is so awesome! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Just to set the record straight. I'm 75 and every day is like the first day of the school holidays.

Love old school Tom.

He has a gift for making light of grim and gritty facts of life. It is not surprising he is so popular right now.

I'm with you 💯!

Thank you for the laugh sir

I totally agree, I keep hoping that I am on the 65yo and done plan... and I can see the check out line from here!

Genius at work

Tom Segura is FCKN HILARIOUS 🤣🤣🤣🤣

GOOOOLD.

"Your spine will snap!" 😂

Brilliant.

It's The Beef Baron if I remember correctly

@andrewpandrew7786

3 жыл бұрын

Bro do you live in Bethlehem?????

@iamNotHereB

3 жыл бұрын

@@andrewpandrew7786 that's racist

@dlee6985

3 жыл бұрын

You are correct.

I LOVE THIS GUY!

“Smite me!! Oh mighty smiter!!!” 😂😂😂

this guy gets me..

Lmfao I drive by the beef every day!!! The pride of London Ontario!!

lets wrap this shit up for real

2020 must have been paradise for Tom. 🤣

@dougmartin7129

2 жыл бұрын

I thought 2020 was the best. Peace and quiet. No invitations no interruptions. Oh the good old days.

Woo woo. This guy keeps me high and tight. Def some serial killer vibes though

Tom is hilarious!

Aye Tom funny af man😂😂😂 sometimes

Man, this guy is reading my mind. He’s hilarious!

@elduderino7767

2 жыл бұрын

are you a sociopath?

Been there in Paris, TN. Quite a few places named like that there - Milan and Medina are some of them.

I find this clip enormously hard to work out to! Hahaha

I’m comin around the corner look down 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@RIXRADvidz

3 жыл бұрын

I'm going to use that

You ought to try London, Kentucky

HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I cant breath.. Man this just had me on the floor in about 10 sec.. and kept me there for at least 10 min! Yes, way past the end of the video!

I skipped in Ottawa in 1962. I did grade 3 and 4 in one year. They were just trialling it.

I'm 75!..and still say.."like" in a sentence!!..😂

‘He can add like a son of a bitch’ killed me 😂

Hahahaha... tired 😴 of living... that was beautiful and nailed it... (it's only funny 😂 because it's true)... Hahahaha 😂 Hahahaha

I’m coming around the corner. Look down!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I'm feeling it too. "Are we done here"?

I’ve got great Norwegian genetics my great grandfather is in is mid to late 90s and recently beat cancer he is still in great shape.

@ronlee6590

2 жыл бұрын

Fantastic! Accidents happen.

"Bonn..Yourrr" ... hahahahhahaa...

Yes to all of it

Not gonna lie when he asked if your tired of being alive.. I was like yup lol

Yes! It’s exhausting just being me some days.

"What goes on there?" "Pretty intense shit, actually." LOL

"can I get me a crass-aunt?" LOL

Let's wrap this shit up 😆 🤣

Ironically I told my family that once I hopefully hit 60 I pretty much give up on life and won’t matter what day I die from then on. I know the harsh truth is that no one wants to take care of old people so if I do get to old age I wouldn’t want to be a burden so I’d look for ways that can possibly just end me since I’ll be a fragile person. Don’t want someone not related to me to not willingly change my diapers if my mental composition is still working for that to happen.

@lucyscottwalker2203

Жыл бұрын

These days old is 90s. You'll see. Sixty is great.

@Tovek

Жыл бұрын

Bud, real family would never consider taking care a burden.

I think it's awesome that is old person is also his Steven Seagal LOL Tom's is a Legend

He's so freakin funny!!!

I live in Rialto California named after Rialto Italy, our crestmark is the bridge from Rialto Italy. I laughed so hard at this bit.

I want to see more TODD RICHFIELD!

Meanwhile a 94 year old woman that sat in front of my mother in church delivered meals on wheels for old people who couldn't get around. 94 freakin years old. She was somewhat of a grumpy old bitty but I tossed the humor at her all the time and made her laugh. She loved me. Told mom when mom was away on vacation that we had a party at her house and Mary was dancing on the kitchen table. She about died. Then she brought dancing on the table laughing every time I saw her after that and told all her bitty friends that story too.

Man I was saying Paris Tn in my head right when he did 😂