No words can describe this pain. I will never understand why all of this has happened... Please use the comment section as a way to support me and others that might be going through a similar situation. Avoid any negative interaction because there will be consequences. Grief took over and it's almost imposible to move on, hopefully with your support I can feel a little bit like myself again. It's going to take time, it will be challenging but I can't keep hiding in the darkness for any longer. Thanks to all of you that during all these months still subscribed and showed concern from all these months not uploading videos. I am sure that you will understand that I was not in my right mind to be sharing anything online. If you would like to support me and connect with me in a more personal level, please consider to become a Patreon: www.patreon.com/lidiarico here I'm sharing exclusive updates every week.

@dbc.ash.

5 ай бұрын

DBC..DAILY BLESSINGS COMING! ... Thank You ALL for Everything Everyday!! .. The GOOD, The Bad, HAPPY & Sad. I BELIEVE EVERYTHING Happens for a Reason and I'm BLESSED EVERYDAY Regardless the Situation! ... I'm so SORRY! ... I've also Lost so many Loved Ones and almost ALL My Family members. I FEEL You and I'm Sorry.... My cousin commit way back... My mother was murdered, Lost My Uncle, then Auntie and GF.... I'm for sure trying to figure out LIFE and get away from the Devil but I Always am Negative, NO Friends, and No Motivation..... But Remember I LOVE YOU and Love EVERYTHING EVERYDAY!! ....

@SharonaandJohnnyNetherlands

5 ай бұрын

Hi you don't know me. But when I saw your vlogs, I thought they were so beautiful. It's very sad that that phase of life happened to you. I send you love light strength from the Netherlands. Namaste 🙌💚🪷🧿🕉Sharon de Rijk🙏 from the Netherlands🇾🇪Amsterdam

@carlinbay

5 ай бұрын

Lidia, I am sending loving and healing prayers. You are a beautiful soul with such a pure heart. Love surrounds you always.

@davidsleigh7189

5 ай бұрын

My Father took his own life when I was 14 years old. I have struggled to cope with the pain my whole life. I sincerely appreciate the pain you are feeling. Even now at 53 years old, although I have had to learn to deal with the loss my heart is still broken

@wesp1213

5 ай бұрын

God bless and protect you. Sending prayers and love to you ❤

Lidia my dear, as a guy who has suffered from depression and PTSD for 15+ years now, I can assure you that there is absolutely nothing that you could have done to avoid this outcome. On the contrary, from the outside looking in, YOU were Phillip's light. Without YOU this most likely would have happened 10+ years ago. Those of us who have seriously considered this option know, it's a voice in your head that, without a light to hang onto, becomes so loud that it can't be ignored or suppressed. I hope that you can get back to being the adorable light that we all know and love. ❤️ While you were on your Italian sanity break, we have missed you.😁👍

@callen129

5 ай бұрын

So sorry to hear that. Lost my cousin 8 years ago to suicide. Such a said way to go when they just have to reach out for help

@VloggingLife.

5 ай бұрын

So True!!

@Lulu5771

5 ай бұрын

Thank you for your lovely message to Lydia ❤

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you Bob for your message, I am writing this with tears in my eyes. It's curious that you expressed this because my mother said something very similar to what you just described. Hopefully I can feel a little bit stronger day by day after sharing this. I was in my own head for almost 6 months and this was poisoning my soul. I missed you guys too, I realized that creating these videos is something that I was meant to do in this earth. If I can help someone by sharing my story, my life propuse will be complete.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

I am sorry for your lost @@callen129 it's never easy to make peace when suicide touches the family

I feel for you. I lost my wife of 34-1/2 years in May of this year. I now know what depression is. And I now realize how serious it is. But as always I will send you my positive energy and my well wishes. And I hope that you continue to show the strength that you have inside and push forward and never stop believing in yourself. God bless you.

Lidia this happened to me. My husband, whom I loved with my heart left me. He told me I deserved better. I was devastated! But 15 years later I realized he protected me from his mental illness. He wasn't healthy. I think your husband did that for you to save you from heartache. I'm sorry you are going to this. It's not easy but you will rise above it and forgive him for what he's did. 💔

@godsbruh

3 ай бұрын

could be the reason. I have never seen anyone getting away doing something evil. everyone knows what they are doing

I am so sorry, Lidia. I lost my dad to suicide and 23 years later I lost my brother the same way. They both pushed me away before took their lives which I think made it easier for them to go through with it. I think of them both and miss them every single day. I’m glad to see that you have gone to be with your family to have their support at this time. Try to remember the good times and take care of yourself💙

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you Victoria for sharing your story here with everyone in the comments. My heart is with you. You described it so well, somehow they push us away and somehow they get in their own mind. I am trying to take care of myself but you know, it's hard sometimes.

@victoriascenic

5 ай бұрын

@@LidiaRico it is so hard, there’s no denying that, but remember you are a strong woman, even on the days you feel weak. Sending you love and peace as you navigate through your grief.

@Bamabchgrl

5 ай бұрын

Oh my, Im so sorry. God bless you.

I remember your guy's channel together, I loved both you and Philip, I am so sorry. May he rest in heavenly peace.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you 🙏

Thank you for sharing. There is a whole group here supporting you! Many prayers that you find peace and can move forward. We each make choices and I as a survivor worked on inner peace, and being here for my kids and family ❤ they were my strength even though I never shared my struggles at the time. Prayers for you ❤

Your video just popped up on my feed and I don’t know anything about you. But this video broke my heart. Sending so much love and support to you and others who are suffering. It’s awesome that you posted this. I have no doubt you are helping a lot of people. So many people will see this and be encouraged and strengthened. Praying for you. And now a new follower of your channel. 🩷

I have watched since close to the beginning. With how much this hurts my heart I cannot imagine how hard this is for you. Sending my love to you & everyone who cares for Phillip.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you uso much for your condolences

As someone who suffers from suicidal thoughts know it is not your fault. We push away people at our worst. I just came out of a crisis center and now am in a womans abuse shelter. I lost everything. I am getting help and its rough. We know there are people who love us we just deeply believe the people we love would be better off with out us. We feel like burdens. I hope this gives u peace of mind that its never your fault or anything to do with you. Big hugs. ❤

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you for your love and support and for sharing with all of us in the comments what you're going through. It shows that you are very brave, please continue to take care of yourself using all the resources that you have in hand. It's very important that you stay ion the light with us

@user-dy2wu3zv2q

5 ай бұрын

We all have our own unique value. In life we tend to forget that. Life is a test for us all here, and these past four years have been very difficult, and we have to rise above it. I genuinely wish you well, happiness, and courage to go on. Please care for yourself, your soul. You have value, meaning, beauty.

@zukgod

5 ай бұрын

This is 100% correct, please don't blame yourself. When we're in full blown depression we think so little of ourselves that we simply can't fathom someone loving us because we hate ourselves so much. There was nothing short of locking him up that would have stopped him, and you can't lock a person up forever.

Sorry for your loss. I have lost friends from depression and suicide. Thank you for sharing your story, it’s important for people to hear this and the message of hope and getting help. No one in this world is here without help from someone else. We all need help from time to time to get through hard times. You are a very special person and your message is important for all to hear.

Oh Lidia. I'm so very sorry you're going thru this. I lost my closest friend who was like my little brother to suicide in 2020. It is a pain like no other. I crumbled. I still have mental hiccups because of it. Take your time, take care of yourself. There is no timeline for grief. Take as much time as you need. Sending you many hugs and lots of love. You are not alone.

Wow. I had the video playing in the background while working and I kept hearing you say my name Phillip committed suicide. And it brought me back to the day that I tried to do the same. What a dark place I was in mentally so I know whatever he was going through had nothing to do with you. Please don't feel like you had anything to do with this. I know it's easier said than done and Im not sure if you mentioned it but I know there's the feeling that you could have done something and the truth is if you could have you would have so please don't blame your self mental health is real. I'm sorry for anyone going through this, please do not be alone. Surround yourself with good people and stay prayed up.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank yo Philip for being so sincere with all of us in the comments. I did blame myself at times but I know I tried my hardest to keep him in the light with me. Now the only thing I can do is to share awareness

@philonline247

5 ай бұрын

@@LidiaRico you're absolutely right. A lot of good can come out of this ugly situation. The best thing to do is to shed awareness and also what helped me in my recovery was service work. There's a tremendous amount of healing that happens when we step out of ourselves and focus on helping others going through similar situations. I will continue to pray for your strength safety and love.

@stimlick

5 ай бұрын

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you were with your family the last few months. I've wondered where you were and hoped you were getting the refresh/help you needed as I saw you were in a lot of pain deep down. Please know that people do care. Life is hard...but it is worth it to keep going. Be a light in the darkness. Keep Jesus close and let Him be your strength! Prayers going up for you, your family, Philip's family and your entire circle! Big hugs 🙏💗🙏

Lidia, I’m a suicide survivor of 26 years. I felt ‘that’ energy fall off my shoulders 20 years post. I learned to live in-between the ‘waves’ of sadness, sorrow, grief, and fear I’d take my own… and over the years, I relearned how to replace the emotion with laughter and joy and dwell on the joys we shared. My Love and strength goes with you. Give yourself the freedom to stay in each moment that arises. We get through this moment in time with each New breath and eventually we’ll see how much impact we have on others because we share our vulnerability. Much Love and Blessings from my ❤ Lidia. We Can Be A Light for others.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and wise words, with time I hope to laugh and smile when I remember him, right now still so painful ❤‍🩹

@stacywatters9106

4 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing. Lots of luv n prayers to u.

As a suicide survivor I want you to know that it had nothing to do with you or anything you did. When we are in our dark place we don't see anything but that. It becomes us. We separate from the people we love most afraid of hurting them. So we tell ourselves that it's better that way. It's hard to describe. But I know when I did what I did I just wanted silence from the word around me. To just shut off. I never thought of how anyone else would feel. I am very lucky to be alive today with 4 daughters and 3 grandchildren. I still struggle from time to time. But I have gained coping skills for that. And now I live one day at a time. You will always feel the pain. But please don't wonder what you could have done differently. Because there nothing you could have done. So please don't hold guilt over that. You will find joy again in life and peace in your heart. Just when you start to think about it put a positive memory in its place. Because he will always live on in your heart in memories. But no this he would want you to be happy. Live for him life is beautiful and the world is at your feet. Big hug, and send love

I lived so much of my life drowning in the fear that things would be so much easier if I could just leave for so many reasons. It's still a real challenge every day even when I have way more good things in my life now and I'm happy to be here. Being willing and able to mentally and emotionally allow yourself to experience love and understanding from unexpected sources is so important. Thank you so much for recording this video! 🙌🌟🙌 Many miracles for all of you! 🫰🫰🫰🦦🌟🌠🌌

My ex-wife’s fiancé recently committed suicide, he was also my friend and our daughter’s stepdad . It doesn’t make sense and I don’t think it ever will. Thank you for sharing this it helps to know there are others feeling the same things and going over the 1000 what ifs. Also thank you for your words on mental health.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Hello sweetheart, first of all I am so sorry and my heart is with you. It will never will make sense and like you say 1000s of questions and what ifs but we had nothing to do with their choice of ending their life. I hope this video helps others to be more careful and to take seriously this topic and their lives

Keep posting. It will be cathartic. You are not alone. A whole youtube community is watching and sending positive vibes to you. Stay strong, you will survive and you will be rewarded with a strength you never knew you had. Tragedy can transform into beauty. Find yourself. You are worth it❤

I'm very sorry for your loss! This kind of situation always leaves you full of questions, doubts and feelings that maybe you could have done something. In time you will realize there is only so much anyone can do to help someone else. So glad you were able to go home & be with family for support and for sure talking about it is good for you. They say you never really get over a loss you just learn to move forward. Give it time and God bless!

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for the love and condolences. Things will be forever different and now I have to learn to take care of myself in a different level. Time will heal me...

Hola Lidia! I'm glad you shared this with everyone. I am so sorry for your loss. I know you loved him. He loved you too. Remember the good times. The pain you feel now will lessen in time. Glad to hear your Mom helped you. I can see she fed you well, and your hair looks great! I missed your videos and look forward to new vids you post. Be strong Lidia, Your friend Dane

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you Dane, I will be posting new videos starting this week. I have already two vlogs ready to go and I am exited to come back

@christinaeager4418

5 ай бұрын

Hello Lydia, I am so sorry for your loss and I do care a lot. I watched all the videos of you & Phillip before. My oldest son committed suicide too and I understand your pain. I'm glad you mentioned about suicide prevention. I just want to support you emotionally. Yes everyone matters. My husband died in an unusual accident 3 years ago and I've been alone all this time. I have times I feel so lonely. I know I need to reach out and not isolate.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Keep in mind that your time together was just one chapter of your life and cherish those memories. You still have life to live and a new chapter will come along. Make the best of each day to be your best person. You have a beautiful sole to share with everyone around you. May peace and love be in your hart. RIP Philip.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you Mike, life is hard but I can only wish for a bright future ahed

@mike-vo4jl

5 ай бұрын

@@LidiaRico I always like watching your travels and builds. I bought a van too, for adventures. I was inspired to get out there. I hope some day you continue to live your best life and feel loved again.

I'm so sorry for your lose. You left me frozen with the news I wouldn't have ever thought a guy like philip would have ended that way . I was sad with your break up because were great on screen together and then this,😢. My prayers are with you and philips family. You stay strong and positive, your a beautiful soul and I wish you all the best.❤

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for your condolences and your prayers ❤‍🩹 it's definitely the hardest thing I have ever experienced

Lidia, My dad did the same. I really like the way you couched your comments in such a caring manner. I noticed you used the word ‘stigma’ and you have helped bring this topic under the spotlight. My advice, keep yourself busy until you digest such a tragedy. Remember Philip for how he lived not how he passed. Unconditional love lives forever.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank yo so much for leaving a comment and for sharing what happened in your life as well. Yes, it feels like a stigma for some people, it's definitely a sensitive topic but it was important to me to bring awareness and hopefully help others that are maybe going throw something similar. I'll try to stay as busy as I can, thanks for your support

I am soooo sorry for your loss! 😢My husband did it also in 2018....takes your breath away! One of the most painful things to go thru ...I am still working on figuring out how to live n figure out a new life ...hang in there ❤

Lidia, Im so sorry for your loss. 💔Thank you for sharing. As someone who has struggled with my mental health and suicidal ideations and even a few attempts over the last 8years or so. Thankfully I survived and got the help I needed. But I still work at it everyday. Some days are harder than others. There is nothing you could have done. I know it's hard to believe. As guys we need to do better at checking on our fathers, brothers, friends etc on their mental health, tell them they aren't alone. Talking about him and sharing your experience and thoughts feelings can help so many. You're not alone. ❤

Dang, unreal to me too. Super harsh. I will never understand this. But there are a vast family of people who love you out in the world. I am so grateful your mom is there for you. Most importantly, this is not any of your fault. You WILL find your way, and your heart WILL be healed. Look up for the joy.

I'm so sorry for your loss 😢 these past few years (during the covid years) have been extremely hard on everyone's mental health. I hope with time and support (from family and friends and kind strangers) you begin to find your positive energy again. Thank you for sharing your heart-felt video. Wishing you sunshine and rainbows 🌈 ☀️

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you for stopping by and leaving me a sincere comment ❤️‍🩹

Oh Lidia I wanna give you a big ass flipping HUGGG!! I have been watching Philip and you since you guys started the channel and wow to see Philip transition to the other side is so sad. I can only imagine how hurt and sad you are, ugh your heart!! I love you so much. I just lost my best friend to suicide and I know how you feel it sucks, it hurts, and some days you question your value. I get it. Let the tears flow and let grief have its moments. You got this and so do i. My heart hurts with you *virtual hug*

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you Anita for your love and I am so sorry for your loss as well. Life is a painful path sometimes but we need to keep on pushing forward

Lidia, my heart goes out to you. Suicide makes the living the victims. I lost a close family member to suicide over 25 yrs ago but the hurt comes back when every think of them. It is one of the hardest thing to get thru. It’s a beautiful thing you are doing in Philip’s memory. I’m so sorry and saddened to hear your pain. I wish you well. Be strong and stay close to people that have your back and support you whenever you need it most.

I'm so sorry - life can throw some hard things our way. The way out is through - Grace is the power that lets you know that you are not alone.

@LidiaRico

10 күн бұрын

thank you.

I lost my best friend of 30 years to suicide a couple of years ago. It is very hard, I understand. Thank you for sharing.

sorry for your loss . You are an incredible person in every way .

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank u❤‍🩹

I am so deeply sorry for this devastating loss. Depression, mental illness... is a very serious reality that many mask and are afraid to share. Gracias for being vulnerable and sharing about this earth shattering news. There are no words of wisdom to share other than this time is so important for you to do self care. Speak to someone (a therapist) if needed. The after effect of such a devastating loss can be a roller-coaster for sure. (I lost my fiancé many years ago). One thing I had to hold on to, was that I was Not Alone, even though I felt like I was. And sadly I watch my grandson struggle with depression and he refuses help. I lift you in loving healing thoughts and pray that he is at peace now 💗 It's devastating, be kind to yourself 💔

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for your prayers ❤‍🩹

I’m so sorry to hear that news, I can understand the brokenness that you’re going through. You have a lot of people here that follow you & we all pray that you stay strong & overcome this trail cause you are the voice for those who need to seek help, you have a beautiful spirit & there is a light within you & you will be guided through this journey you are not alone. God Bless You.

Hey Lidia, I came across your videos today, and I knew your videos was something special and I had to see them! We all know death is such an hard thing to deal with, but suicide is one of the hardest deaths to endure! There's nothing that can be said to ease a broken heart of the individuals and love ones they leave behind! If you lean on The Lord, with those beautiful memories of all The GOOD times you had together, He along with your family and friends Will See You Through this tough times! (MEMORIES ARE MADE TO EASE OUR HEARTS AND HELP US THROUGH THE TOUGH TIMES AFTER WE HAVE DEPARTED) Hang in there and LISTEN to your Memories of your heart! He's There with you!

It does break my heart that this happened i went through a nasty divorce and depression is so real i was on the edge and asked Jesus to give me strength to carry on i have found new purpose in life it was worth it all asking for help i pray good things go to you

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for your prayers, I need all the help to speed the healing ❤‍🩹

@2Morethings

5 ай бұрын

I'll send you all I can I've been there and I made it out Jesus christ was my answer I hope you can find him it's way better with him in my life

I'm shocked. I've watched you guys doing the van life thing for years. Even though I've been affected by suicide before, I can't imagine what you're going through after losing someone you felt was your person like that. I wish you strength through these difficult times. My deepest condolences.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you for you condolences ❤‍🩹

I don't even know you but I love you. You will always have a place in my heart! My 8 years relationship ended last year, my favorite uncle passed away, and after 5 year in university AI stole my job. The only thing we can do is to live the moment, always here and now, trying to be grateful for the time we still have. Everyone is lost, the difference is that some people are able to pretend they're not. We are only humans, let's not put all that weight over our shoulders. Btw. Greetings from Brazil, sis! Take care ❤

so much love to you. no words can describe. i lost a lifelong friend recently and have been isolating too with what feels like a heart that will be forever squished but we do eventually find our way out of the cave, one step at a time. i read this recently and wanted to share encase it helps anyone. ''sometimes when we can only see darkness it's because we are the light and we are the way out''

I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. While you are in the middle of the pain, it might feel like it will never end. But in time it will not hurt so much. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. I know that is difficult. Internet hugs and good vibes.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you for the warm love and support, it really helps

@QT2789

5 ай бұрын

@@LidiaRico You're welcome.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you're going through. God bless you. Just keep being you and living your life to the fullest. Find your joy!

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤️

Suicide is probably the hardest loss to deal with. I’m sorry that you have to endure the pain that comes with your loss. You’re in my thoughts

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Yes, certainly is the worse death and grief to process...

Lidia - you’re truly an amazingly brave woman! Thank you for sharing your painful experiences. May God bless you and watch over you always!

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Amen ❤

I don't remember having watched a video so sad. I have no words. Life is a fight against unreal things - take care of yourself.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

I know, it took me almost 6 months to have the courage to speak up about this ❤‍🩹

My 16 year old son did this a few years ago. I’m so sorry. The pain is unreal.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing this with me and all of us in the comments. My heart is with you, the pain will never leave our hearts. Suicide is real and it touches way too many families and homes. I am sure you miss your son, but wherever he is now, he knows that you love him and one day you'll be able to hug him again.

@irmalujan1723

Ай бұрын

🥹🙏🏼❤️

Oh Lidia, this was an incredibly emotional video to watch and I can only imagine how emotional it was to make. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing and your vulnerability. You imparted much wisdom from your lived experience that will help others. You're an incredibly strong, upbeat, and positive person with so much light. I know it doesn't feel like it as you're going through this tremendous loss. I'm sure that feels diminished inside right now, and none of this makes sense at all. I can already see the shift in you and your videos. As strong as you are, you will emerge with so much lived insight to help make the world a better place for everyone whose life you touch. I did notice your absence and knowing you were going through a hard time, I was concerned about you. I could have never imagined this, and it is indeed heart breaking. I support you and pray healing for your heart and life. Sending hugs.

Girl!!! I've been following you guys since the beginning. Epic videos always. I'm so so sorry for your loss 😢 It bought tears to my eyes.. I've lost 6 family and friends in the past few years and it's changed me.. I feel you and I hope that you will be ok. They say time is a healer and in a way it is but you never forget and that's ok 🙏🏽 Be strong. Try not to look back to often because the past is gone and u cannot change it, just look at the now and the future and be good to yourself 🙏🏽 Much loVe ❤️

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thanks a lot, I know losing people that you love it changes you, I am sorry that you also have experience so many loses lately

@motiv8154

5 ай бұрын

@@LidiaRico 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽

Thank you for keeping us informed. My wife and I have been following your channel for years and we were concerned when. you returned to Spain but knew it was for a good reason. We are sorry for your loss but know that time heals all wounds, sort of. Your advice is genuine and may help prevent a trajedy in someone else's life. Continue to do God's work, even though you may not see the results in this life. We send you our love and hope that others do as well.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for this comment your the love & support. As hard as it was making this video, I knew that I had to do it. Suicide is only a permanent solution to a momentary problem. Philip is not the only one and sadly won't be the last one but my soul and the light tome me that was about time to break my silence. We need to stay in god's hands not the devil's

Omg I’m so so so sorry L. My heart breaks for you 😢 I have a family member that committed suicide a few years ago. you’re gonna be OK. We’re gonna be here to help you grow your channel. Just hang in there.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤️

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I assure you he thought he was doing the right thing, but when someone is suicidal they are in a deep black hole and without help, you can’t get out. I’m a suicide survivor, and to wake up and see the pain in your loved ones faces, it’s truly devastating. God gave me a second chance. I’ve never felt that way ever again. Thank god or my children would never been able to stay together. I assure you, he thought he was taking care of a burden, a burden on others, but that’s just not the truth and he knows that now. He will give you signs he’s around. Notice them and let it give you comfort. I’m subscribed and can’t wait for your next video. Lots of love to you❤❤❤❤❤

Very sorry for your pain. I've experienced it myself. Don't try to understand it because you never will. I've know 4 people that did this and by all outward appearances, they seemed as normal and happy as anyone else. You must accept that we never really know what goes on inside someone elses head. Sometimes people that feel hopeless are great at hiding it. You'll never forget, but in time, it really does get easier. Try to live your best life for them and for yourself.

Im crying pretty hard but I've tried 3 times giving up and you are right everyone matters no matter what even if you feel like giving up and tell the truth about how you feel cuz you me everyone deserves to live and be helpful and true to everyone and I'm doo sorry that you had to deal with the lose of love I Love You ❤️

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing, today is a sad one and I am crying here with you also. We all matter and it's imperative that we stay in the light not the darkness

I’m sending you so much love!! Sorry for everything you are going through. 💜💔

Thank you for this beautiful message. Im sorry for your pain and loss. You will grow strongee.❤

This is making me so sad 😞 I’m glad you’re taking about this. I had a feeling something terrible had happened since we hadn’t heard from you much. I hope you find some comfort soon. ❤️

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you fro your concern, it's being hard fro sure

I am so sorry for your loss Lidia. Your message will help others thank you. You are an angel.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much, I am not sure if I am an Ange but I know that god wanted me to share awareness about this hurtful situation. Too many people believe that suicide is the way out... but it hurt way too many people in the process. Our lives will never be the same

So heavy 😞.. I was once in a bad spot in my mind. Always enjoyed seeing him in the videos (fellow mechanic). Sometimes we'll never understand why. As painful as it is, he's out of pain. As my heart breaks for you, just know you are also loved by many.. ❤🙏

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you for the love ❤‍🩹 I know you always watched our videos

So sorry for your loss. May your heart recover from this devastating event.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤‍🩹

So sorry to hear this tragic news. I'm so sorry for your pain. Sending you so much love.❤

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you Valery ❤️‍🩹

I am so very sorry for you. I am going through something similar to Philip now and watching your video gives me strength to get better and not leave, so thank you. Stay strong!

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Please know that the pain you eave behind will never heal. All his family and me included will never be the same, it is an undescritable trauma and grief. Please eat healthy, spend time outside, do not use drugs or alcohol, try to journal or meditate, watch podcast about how to heal and if nothing works please try to ge into therapy or some support groups. Never commit suicide thats not a solution

@ramonmass2171

5 ай бұрын

I am so sorry to hear what has happened to Philip I have been following you guys from the beginning continue to stay strong love you always

My condolences Lydia, I'm sorry for your loss and I will pray for Phillip's soul to enter Heaven.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank yo so much for your prayers

I’m so sorry again💔 my heart breaks for you, I’ve lost some friends to suicide, it took me a lot of therapy and accepting the GRIEF, it’s hard bc you want to stay strong but I should’ve let it out instead of suppressing it for years. Much love again🤎

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thanks, I was suppressing my emotions for almost 6 months now and I thot it was time to let it go

I’m sorry you are going through this. Thank you for sharing your pain.

@LidiaRico

3 ай бұрын

Thank you for listening

Lidia, part of my heart and soul with you

Your pain is unimaginable. You've shown strength and come out through it all. Look forward to the future. RIP Philip.

Thank you for sharing, Lidia. Our 💕 are with you!

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤

I respect your honesty. I am so sorry for your loss. Take time to grieve and heal. Peace!

Man I’m so sorry to hear that!.. he looked like a great person no one deserves this at all blessings to you and his family and may he rest in peace. 🙏🏽

I am so sorry for your loss. I want you to know that you did a beautiful job expressing everything in this video. I am hopeful that your message will perhaps save someone’s life. I am proud of you.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you, I finally found the strength of sharing this online. We must not listen to evil voices in our head, the world is a better place with us in it.

Lidia my heart is broken. We love Philip and you too. My brother from another Mike took his life in June 2020 we have been friends/roommates and fans of each other since 1988. I called the hotline and got help. And like you and many others I am living our lives as one person now. I’m now in therapy DBT therapy in a group. I will be for now on. It’s very strong and good of you to share. My sincere condolences dear Lidia you are the light.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank yo for sharing your story I am sure it's not easy. Support groups it's always a great idea and resource to use when we're not doing good.

Omg, I support you 100%, it,s okay, you will go through so many different phases after this, I truly hope hope you come out of this in a good place , but there is nothing you could do , i to have gone through this depression and we don,t talk because no one understands, we don,t understand, stay strong girl stay strong , you are amazing

Its so difficult when a loved one takes their life. My youngest brother took his life and it left me feeling numb, broken and feeling incredibly guilty. Thank you for sharing this heartbreaking tragedy and the great advice you offer. God bless and may peace be upon you in your time of need.

I'm so sorry Lidia,I have been thinking about you and wondering what happened and if u r ok,I had no idea this had happened,I have been a long time follower of you and Phillip and this is truly devastating,you stay strong and keep your head up and know that u couldn't have changed this outcome,and it makes me wonder now looking back if he knew this was gonna be the outcome and maybe this is the reason he pushed you away,I think he was trying to protect you from this pain,you have a truly beautiful soul and better days will come for you,love you girl,reach out if u need help as well,so so sorry for your loss.❤

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for being here, yes I know you're a big supporter since almost day one. I have a similar idea, he was going through something before we separated. He never got to tell me or to express what those voices were saying in his head. I saw destruction, pain and substance abuse. I tried to help but kept pushing me away, it broke my heart.

about 8 years ago a friend of mine did the same. everyone of us at the funeral had some level of regret including myself. “i was just going to give him a call to see if [something]..” everyone if us had some sort of feeling that if we were just able to have talked with him maybe it would have changed something. probably not, but at least you could have a little less guilt. anyway i’m so sorry lidia.

So sorry for your loss. I have had many friends and family members who have unfortunately made this same choice. It is impossible for us to comprehend what would make them do so. I pray that you find peace and happiness.

You are a strong beautiful person! I'm so sorry for everything you've been through. Blessings

I wish I could give you a big hug. My heart hurts for you. I’ve dealt with mental illness my whole life 58 years and struggle with my own losses everyday. I was more concerned about you than Philip. I’m so sorry to hear this, I had grown to like Philip a lot over the years. Please be good to yourself.😢

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Pleas take care of yourself Mark

So so sorry Lidia, I've watched you's for years on your journeys he was a lovely bloke, take care.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

thanks

Young Lady, my heart goes out to you... I'm so sorry you had to experience a double heartbreak like that. Even though some have had similar heartbreaks, no one knows exactly the pain we feel because we all feel in different ways. I can assure you, the deeper you love the more the heart breaks ... I can see and feel you loved him deeply, in a way most dream of being loved. Not being loved back like that is heartbreak... You are in my thoughts and prayers Young Lady....

Sincere condolences...and praying for continued strength 😔🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

I lost my older brother to this. I feel your pain.

@philonline247

5 ай бұрын

I'm sorry to hear that Johnny, I can't even imagine bro

I am so sorry, Lidia. I recall meeting the two of you. So hard to go through. Lots of love to you and both families ❤

So sorry to hear this news Lidia. I know it hurts like hell to lose someone like this. I have lost good friends to suicide, and it is really hard to deal with. Time does heal. You will never forget that person, but things will get easier as time goes on. Cherish the memories, stay strong, stay positive, stay being a good person, stay cool, and keep living your life. Things will get easier in the coming months. You can't let this keep you down.

Thank you for taking the time to share. Please know by you talking, by you sharing, you may have just saved a life. Please know you make a difference. I am a suicide survivor. a stranger, helped me find my way back to life However, I still fight depression. People like you are angels! So please know there are people that you truly help.You make a difference! I just wanted to say, thank you! Thank you for your truth and honesty. Also, I am so sorry for your pain. I am so sorry for the hell that you’re going through. I’m sending you tons of love. God bless, and thank you for taking the time to fight for those who might not be able to fight for themselves. Adam

I’m sorry about your loss I wish you a best in life

Sorry for you lose. Very happy you have made it through this. You can always come and join us in our Humble Little Jungle, if you need friends and or support.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

I am still recovering and it will never be the same after this. I have a long journey of healing ahead. Thanks

I am so sorry about your loss. It is not an easy thing to go through. I hope that with your sharing your story that you would have touched someone in the same situation. I also hope that in sharing this, it will help you through the process. Huge HUGE HUGS!!!

I am so sorry to hear this, I cannot imagine how you feel. thanks for sharing, you are very brave, and a strong person. I wish the best moving on, they say time heals all, I hope your pain fades a little every day, and you have good days to come.

Awe Lidia...I am so sorry. I know he was very special to you. I had an attempt that left me in a coma...I survived somehow and have been thankful for life ever since. I also lost my person many years ago...she was murdered...and I have to admit, it has been many many years and I still hurt. But the hurt slowly turns into more and nore strength over time. I dont think there will ever be a time where where I have completely moved past it...part of me doesnt want to. I ended up in the same city she was killed and passing by the house she lived...I cannot go near there. It hurts too much. "If i only did a or b, she would still be here" "It is my fault for not savung her " "i miss her."

@AaronHendu

5 ай бұрын

Also...a warning to those thinking about self harm...I have permanent brain damage from my attempt. Though I now value my life and want to live, I will forever deal with the effects of my failed attempt. I am now disabled and struggle a lot physically vs mentally. Things that cannot be fixed with therapy.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank yo so much @@AaronHendu for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage and straight to be able to show the reality the way it is for you. Thanks fro keeping it real with all of us in the comments

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

I am sure that losing her was hard and still is. A sudden death is painful and it's almost imposible to heal complete and more when certain dates come around the calendar, like birthdays, holidays etc.

Sorry for you loss Lidia. You are greatly loved. Stay strong.

I'm so sorry to hear that, always do try your best, even though sometimes there isn't much you can do. Definitely check on your friends, and loved ones. I believe he did save you from anything that could of possibly gone worse. I hope time with family, and close friends heals your wounds. Stay as strong as you can. Again so sorry for your loss 😢🙏🏽🕊️. Your soul is beautiful, and I believe you do everything you do at it's best wholeheartedly it shows

I’m so sorry beautiful spirit. Praying for you. Thank you for sharing. 🙏🏻🧡

Lidia I’m terribly sorry for your loss, God rest Philip soul. I hope and believe for the restoration of your spirit and happiness. God be present in every area of your life, may the darkness be illuminated with light. Sadness turned to the contrary, let life shine bright again!

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you

I survived my Dad dying in my arms, and the PTSD it gave me. Id offer to help you as well, but something tells me you wont accept. I am old enough to be your father, and I do want to help, but thats still up to you hun.... I do hope you are finding a reason to smile every day, because it helps and hugs hun.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank for sharing your story, I also have PTSD from so many terrible traumas I endured the last two years. I am in the process of healing and I hope that by sharing these videos I can also help others going through similar situations

Hey its so hard being an earthling sometimes. You are very brave to share your pain here. Best wishes for your healing from this time.

The pain is so unbearable ..my heart goes out to you. I hope you find a little peace in knowing you are not alone. Losing someone to suicide, the sorrow and pain has a way of sticking around for long…over 4 years ago, my dearest friend of over 30 yrs took her own life. I received a call while celebrating my child’s birthday..I am still so very sad about her leaving like that, especially since I hadn’t been able her on my last trip home..I couldn’t reach her,.,she had been battling with addiction, I had no idea. She was such a beautiful light! She was a mother and a nurse. After an injury she became addicted to the pills.. my beautiful Chantale is now an angel but it hurts so bad to think she was suffering like that and I had no idea. Love and light to all of you heartbroken 💔

Hello Lidia, Im In Florida and I have been thru this a few years ago. My best bud gave up and it does hurt. I changed my own life and talk to my support system..Hang in there surfer girl...

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

❤‍🩹

Linda Rico so sorry for your lost. Trust in God he will get you through these hard times. Now I understand why you took down all the other videos but the last four you posted prayers for you and for Philips family.

@LidiaRico

5 ай бұрын

Thank you Christopher, God will always light the right path, in another note my name is Lidia :) so many people is calling me Linda in the moment section for some reason

I am very sorry and can't imagine what you're going through. I was recently diagnosed with ptsd due to my wife's suicide 5 years ago. It is a pain like no other. I'm still in therapy and still learning how to live with it. You are not alone. I'm here and we're all here for you. My condolences to your family and his as well.

So, so sorry to hear this. I followed both of you and missed both of you the past year. Such sad news. You were his light for as long as you could. He couldn't hold on anymore. He released you in an effort to release you from the pain. My heart hugs your. Condolences to his family, friends and you.