Soooo...... you're saying abusive parents cause brain damage. This explains a lot....Be nice to your kids, people.

@AfterDARK.Records

2 жыл бұрын

Go figure right?! 🙏✌️

@evonne315

2 жыл бұрын

Yup and so do abusive partners and even friends.

@FreeButCrowdedMind

2 жыл бұрын

@@evonne315 Absolutely! And toxic work situations.

@kilodeltawhisky1504

2 жыл бұрын

My parents weren't mean to me, just preoccupied with their own problems. They never intended harm.

@Ellie-sx2rh

2 жыл бұрын

Yes!!! Or do not have kids!

Well, apparently I have spent a great deal of my life in a state of dysregulation - and, even after decades of therapy, am HEARING ABOUT THIS NOW FOR THE FIRST TIME in 66 years. It certainly explains a lot - and finally gives me some hope. You have taught me why I cannot imagine my future - which I've often believed meant that I was dying. I haven't died. But I haven't lived either. I have survived. I have spent my life in survival mode.

@Mourning_Dove

3 жыл бұрын

I can so relate to your post.

@yvonnem9045

3 жыл бұрын

Me too.

@balsam777

3 жыл бұрын

I feel the same. I feel robbed of joy and a regular life after trying so hard for decades to feel better. Yes I'm better but still disregulated and stuck in freeze mode much of the time. But I fully believe I'm a late bloomer and the best is yet to come. 68 in a few weeks.

@sunshinegirl1655

3 жыл бұрын

So I'm not alone.

@anns1921

3 жыл бұрын

That is exactly me too. I have spent most of my life in survival mode and it sucks. I'm now 60 years old so when does it get to be my turn to really live?

You know people are being healed by just hearing you speak up & giving names to all of these things.

@seekingfinding6204

2 жыл бұрын

The best thing I ever heard in therapy was "You are not crazy. You were abused."

@rebekahsolis1750

2 жыл бұрын

YES

@carachristina8087

2 жыл бұрын

Yes!!

@zoooejenkins

2 жыл бұрын

Hallelujah

@BayMami_650

2 жыл бұрын

The complexity of this I never thought anyone could break down

OH MY GOD!!! I have never heard anyone describe this! This is me!!! "Trying to guess how normal people would respond."

@jhutch1050

3 жыл бұрын

Wow, I thought only I did this. I also struggle trying to understand why someone said or did something, and if it was a normal behavior or having hidden underlying malicious intent. I am glad I found this channel.

@shadia2000

2 жыл бұрын

It's SO me too! My mouth dropped when she said that and didnt come back up for a while!!!

@FreeButCrowdedMind

2 жыл бұрын

I just remembered that when I was in my late teens/early 20's, I'd think and often ask people how I should feel or if the way I was feeling was normal. Mostly, "how should I feel about this." I also asked my first therapist (I was about 25) what I should feel/do when the other person agreed with me after an argument or intense discussion. She didn't understand my question! And she was a very experienced therapist.

@FreeButCrowdedMind

2 жыл бұрын

@@jhutch1050 I used to obsess over what people said or did and look for hidden meanings or hidden agendas. As I got older, I realized this usually happened when what they said/did actually was contradicted by something. I realized I could tell when someone was lying to me or being disingenuous. Not knowing this when I was younger is what caused the confusion and over thinking. It became much easier to deal with people and I didn't feel like I was on shaky ground once I realized I had this ability. I then realized I am able to read people almost immediately or with just a little interaction. I pick up on their energy and have physical reactions. This sometimes happens just by looking at a picture. Thinking back, I did this as young as 3 years old!!

@BayMami_650

2 жыл бұрын

This absolutely applies to me also and makes great sense. What's triggering about your comment is when people compare us to normal people. We are people too - others who haven't experienced cptsd just have a different advantage over us because they haven't gone through the obstacles we have. So it's not us vs the normal people. We all bleed the same color and we all have souls.

blurry eyesight - dissociation - just wanting to go to sleep while adrenaline is going wild in my blodstream... ok, let's get on regulating ...

@raheemmartin5512

3 жыл бұрын

This is exactly my issue

@Indigo_newness

3 жыл бұрын

Me too but I'm slowly calming down my adrenals with meditation. I've stopped being out of my body now... But have to watch my stress levels and being around alot of people can cause me stress....

When I dysregulate it feels like I'm strapped to a movie theater chair in the back of my head watching my life pass by like it's a movie.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

3 жыл бұрын

Such an apt description! -Cara@Team Fairy

@AdaraJashel

3 жыл бұрын

Same!

@clsudinegerbais8602

3 жыл бұрын

Yes me too. Watching yourself in this traumatic role and not being able to act on it. Sad.

@LoneSolo23

2 жыл бұрын

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy there's a team fairy? How to join team fairy? 🧚‍♂️🤔

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

2 жыл бұрын

@@LoneSolo23 Lol... Team Fairy is the group of people who work with me. For you, there is a Membership program. You can learn about it on my webiste crappychildhoodfairy.com

I am a musician. My family history is full of abuse and trauma. Dysregulation is a huge part of this. My son is a drummer. He and I have discovered the amazing help we have in music. Our music helps us to regulate our minds through percussion. It brings both brain hemisheres into balance. I know this sounds odd, but it is really true. I cannot adequately describe how revolutionary this is to my healing. Rehearsals always uplift and validate. The daily practice keeps helping me as well.

@SusanneBreul

Жыл бұрын

Fully agree with you! I use my draums the same way and my son is interested as well. Same happens when I focus in investment charts etc. As an architecture student, I hired a maths tutor, because it helped me balance my brain. I´m also a leftie, who tried to do it all right(!) which also messed things up and all the above help with it. I am now writing with my left hand and play lefthanded as well.

@marshallsmountain

Жыл бұрын

@@SusanneBreul that is very cool. As a composer, producer and musician (in addition to percussion) I also find help with dysregulation. All this probably kept me alive throughout a painful childhood. Music production requires both right and left brain activity because inspiration (right side) must be somehow recorded (left side). After some 60 years of playing the inspiration comes easy. It is the logic of setting levels, connecting gear, etc that can be difficult to switch over to. I find that spending more time in inspiration land, i can gather enough energy to fire up the left frontal cotex to capture the inspiration.

@guitarmagik71

Жыл бұрын

Omg, you are so right. I grew up gay and guitar was the thing that saved my life from all of the abuse that I endured. I could not wait to get home from school to practice because it was the only thing that made me happy. I excelled in music and made it my world. I'm crying right now because I always knew music saved me but I did not know why. Thank you

@KarenNightbird

Жыл бұрын

100%, the djembe has saved my sanity.

@James-if3kc

Жыл бұрын

You were still able to have sex and have a child. Some of us will never even be able to IMAGINE doing that! You are a fraud and so is your son.

I'm not even two minutes into the video and I'm already crying. I was told I had complex trauma/complex ptsd and I just feel broken inside knowing how messed up my mind is. I've been living emotionally numb for most of my life now. I used to have so much emotion and passion as a young child and then it was stolen from me before I could even grasp it. Repeated childhood trauma ruins you. Now I'm numb or have many days where I'm emotionally unstable. I don't feel alive.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

4 жыл бұрын

Don't give up!

@mols_x

3 жыл бұрын

Completely relate! It’s not easy at all. Hope you’re doing okay. ❤️

@tprice6187

3 жыл бұрын

Same!

@Mimi-yp9dl

3 жыл бұрын

Keep up your trauma work, ask Christ to heal you, journal daily, it really works!

@heathercruz8282

3 жыл бұрын

Same here

Ive suffered from depression for a long time not knowing what was wrong with me , i even thought i had aspergers. You just described my situation to a T .

@bestclips2616

3 жыл бұрын

I also believed I was on the autism spectrum thanks for writing your truth here it made me feel not so alone

@djx3no18

3 жыл бұрын

So did I! Took an autism test and everything....

@inquisitivesoutherntara6997

3 жыл бұрын

Me too!

@ImTheNewFruit

3 жыл бұрын

How weird.. I thought that I'm autistic too. I even asked others that can i be autistic and I got no. But I still felt I have something more than just depression and anxiety.

@allypallygally

3 жыл бұрын

Same!

Attempting to control my facial expressions was part of keeping safe... heard many times, “Wipe that look off your face,” “We’re going and when we get there, you’re going to like it and SMILE” while screaming & shaking a finger in my face. Years after my grade school days, I found out people though I was “ stuck up” because I kept to myself... THAT was the last thing I was! But I try to keep that in mind... we can never be certain about what someone else has had to deal with... it helps me to be kinder than I would otherwise, even if I have to take myself out of the presence of those people who are triggering me.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing your experience :) -Cara@TeamFairy

Now I understand the tripping and the bumping into.things and the blurry eyesight ...

@corneliakobilke4638

3 жыл бұрын

i had noticed this was getting better once i realized i had cptsd... its amazing what changed when you are aware. its a new life.

@eh4235

3 жыл бұрын

I get the same

@Analysis_Paralysis

3 жыл бұрын

Doesn't always have to manifest that way. With me it's the very opposite. I'm too self-conscious and always TOO aware of what I'm doing with my body. I'm always so preoccupied with moving and walking properly that I've hardly any time to think about other things in the meantime. I monitor myself and evaluate and judge my body movements constantly.

@Elya08

3 жыл бұрын

Wow... as I’ve been going through trauma therapy (EMDR and CBT and other models), I’ve noticed I’ll bump into things more for a day or two after therapy and then like the third day, I’ve leveled out. My husband said it looks like I’m on drugs, and I completely understand why, because it kinda feels that way, too. His comment, which would have previously offended me terribly before, didn’t even phase me, because he was just being honest how I appeared from the outside. Not mean, not angry or hateful, just matter-of-factly. It’s helpful to know that it’s literally my brain that causes my issues, and that it’s not my fault.

@AfterDARK.Records

2 жыл бұрын

@@Elya08 there you go! So proud friend 🙏✌️

I have never understood why my behaviour has often been so extreme and even weird. At this later stage in my life, I prefer to avoid socialising because I don’t trust how I might react to certain people. This has become a big problem for me as I keep looking for new excuses as to why I’m an introvert. I can behave in extreme ways and people have often commented throughout my life on how intense I seem on certain things which has always surprised me as I have never felt that I was being intense, I always wondered why I appear that way when I have not felt like that . So this has been extremely helpful in finally getting it now I can work at how I can change that. Thank you.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

3 жыл бұрын

I SO relate to being told I'm intense or have people put their hands up in a defense block and go "woah, settle down" when I'm just talking. I've come to be able to distinguish when maybe I'm too much for real and when someone is patronizing me because I'm not like them. -Cara@TeamFairy

@alexislaube4745

2 жыл бұрын

I have been called intense too. But my Mercury is also in Aries soooo who knows lol

@laurenpaterson3475

2 жыл бұрын

Running on empty good book therapy helps you look at what u did not get as a child and how to cure that

@NinjaOutfitInTheWash

2 жыл бұрын

This is why I have always hated being called weird for the way I sometimes behave, or even just for the way I naturally am. I don't feel good enough just being myself sometimes. It's so embarrassing to begin with, and then you feel completely misunderstood and not taken seriously. It sometimes makes me feel so fucking disrespected, and it's so unnecessary the way people behave sometimes. Patronizing is a very good word to use.

@davidfariello3972

Жыл бұрын

Same here

I turned to alcohol to self medicate, before I’d talk to my mother, due to emotional neglect, not realizing I could become addicted. Celebrating 19 years of sobriety, yet so much to heal!!! Thank you so much for your videos!!!! You are spot on!!!!!💕💕💕💕

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

3 жыл бұрын

Congratulations! That's really an accomplishment

@Pinkfairywife

2 жыл бұрын

Congrats!!!

My mother forced me to have an abortion when I was 17. I haven’t spoken to her more than 10 times in 20 years. I reached out to say Happy Mothers Day for the first time in a few years. Her response was “happy Mother’s Day to you too” I have no kids. It is an impossible relationship.

This explains why I go into "frozen deer in headlights" mode social situations, especially when the other person is being mean or rude. My usually quick mind just stops completely and I feel disoriented afterwards, wondering what just happened.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

3 жыл бұрын

Yes, you've described it exactly! The freeze response.

@Elya08

3 жыл бұрын

The freeze and fawn response are typically my natural responses to high stress and angry confrontations/conflict. I then feel disconnected from myself and my environment, and it’s like everything is super loud or muffled like the teachers in Charlie Brown (“Wah wah wah!”). I too feel confused and disoriented afterwards, and because I had no visual context in the moment of conflict, I didn’t realize it was CPTSD from childhood events making the current situation seem more dangerous than it actually was/is.

I really like your video. My wife was diagnosed with PTSD because of childhood trauma. And I’m just seeking knowledge of this condition.

@wendy645

Жыл бұрын

That is fantastic! So respectful and respectable for a partner to pursue - I don't know either of you, but thank you for doing this for her! 💗

All this feels so overwhelming. I feel like I'm just broken and unfixable

@cpunykurde

4 жыл бұрын

I'm very sad to hear this from you. I know how it feels and it sucks. Nobody deserves it... Maybe you need some time to rest from all the improvement plan. That's what helped me when I felt overwhelmed. Focusing on what's 'wrong' with us can be exhausting... And we forget that we should both heal *and* seek joy at the same time. Not to put the life on hold until we're healed. You can live while you're you, now. Be gentle with yourself. Your overwhelm might tell you something, e.g. that you might have to focus on resting or getting better each day, and thinking about changing your whole life. That's my top tip: imagine an inner child is telling you this: that she's overwhelmed, broken and unfixable. What would you say to this child? Say and do exactly this to yourself. You probably know what to say. Another thing that helped me was to think: 'that's exactly how my abusers wanted me to be: broken'. It gave me power to fight for my life. All the best to you. I hope you find what you need to feel better. You're not broken. But someone treated you badly to make you feel this way. And you should not be the one to pay the price for this trauma.

@CherishedbyGod

4 жыл бұрын

@@cpunykurde thanks for the encouragement. I'm just hurting extra bad at the moment. An overwelm of stress triggered a total breakdown two years ago. I had thought I was doing better. Keeping my emotions from exploding at people, responding in healthier ways when I was upset. I even had started to have joy and excitement again. Then a disagreement with a friend where I was attempting to handle things more maturally while triggered ended up causing people I love to write me off and stop talking to me. Literally my closest and most trusted friend still won't talk to me or accept my apologies. Ever since that happened 9 months ago I am struggling to find hope and joy again. I struggle to trust myself if I could cause such a deep rift while trying so hard to remain balanced. God is bringing me through healing and there are some areas inside that huge progress has been made. In others I'm struggling. I just want to get better so I can stop losing my friends. It hurts too much to get close to people and then have them reject you. Anyways, thanks so much for your kind words. I have definitely been going through healing in spurts.

@ammaslotus

3 жыл бұрын

@@CherishedbyGod I am going through the same things you mentioned here. I feel like I’m broken beyond repair. If you want to connect please let me know

@CherishedbyGod

3 жыл бұрын

@@ammaslotus Amma Lotus I am so sorry that you are struggling. A year ago I felt like I was unfixable, damaged beyond repair and so hopeless. God has brought me so much healing in the last year. He even restored a friendship that seemed unfixable. When the pain is so intense it feels like getting better is impossible but I am here to tell you that even if it takes baby steps, it is possible to heal inside. May you find peace and strength and healing/

@anitanapp6759

3 жыл бұрын

@@CherishedbyGod isn’t it great what our Lord can do! He’s has shown me miracles and healing and strength to get through this life ! And I know for a fact that he will see me through everything That will come my way! If not I know I’ll be in heaven. Life is never easy but the unconditional love I feel everyday is mind blowing...

The past reaches up and grabs me when I'm unaware. When I am sleeping peacefully. When I am meeting strangers. When I am ill, or tired or hurt. Whenever I show any signs of weakness it ensnares me in it's nightmare.

@kailani1138

3 жыл бұрын

Sadly, I know this well... its usually the moment I say to myself, wow, im really starting to feel better... then, bam! Like a load of bricks, all the symptoms physically and mentally present themselves... But through the help of Anna's videos im slow starting to catch this and have been trying to implement her tools, I am seeing little glitters of hope, may peace be with all on this journey called life 🙏 😊

Throughout my entire childhood, I had a sort of brainfog. I had learning challenges that were only partially diagnosed. In 6th grade my music teacher screamed at me out of no where because she thought I was not enjoying the class or the instrument because my facial expression was not what she wanted, so I quit playing. I have been harassed over my face my entire life. I have never really had genuine friends. I was very shut down and weird for most of my life. I never learned to drive until I was 33 because I didn't trust myself to be able to pay attention to my surroundings. Like having headphones and someone else's glasses on. I have only learned in the last 3 years that I was being raised by a drug addicted narcissistic mother and that I experienced a ton of emotional neglect. Hearing about other people's caring parents is super triggering for me. I am 37 and thinking back on it, I remember when I was younger and hoping that one day I would be normal and would be able to think clearly. And I think it has actually happened now that I have had 15 years of my own life, success in higher education and no longer in contact with my mother. My memory is still total crap and I have no idea how to have a meaningful relationship because even within friendships I would regress into a fog. But at least I can work in my intended field and I know who I am now.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

2 жыл бұрын

Check out the free Daily Practice course here, it's a great start for healing :) courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/ -Cara@TeamFairy

I think we continue to be traumatized (perhaps daily) by all the lies we're told etc. My parents were decent. Most of my childhood trauma was caused by mean school children. Then there's the ongoing trauma of adulthood. There's such a difference between what we're taught life is supposed to be like and what actually IS. Just wanted to share these thoughts.

@bustermcgee7403

5 жыл бұрын

Some situations can have profound internal contradictions almost on a philosophical level that are not at all easy to detect. The implications and connotations of some of these can be nihilistic and creepy, right in the middle of seeming normality. Often there is more to be learned about those situations that explains that fracture, but it is hidden. This type of thing is always found around parent child incest for example. It can occur when a parent had some kind of very specific PTSD growing up. There was so much distortion in my environment growing up that I had to dissect as an adult to understand my maladjusted reactions.

@aryanstreet9980

5 жыл бұрын

@@bustermcgee7403 That's rough. Victims often victimize others and yes we may never know why. I'm glad we have tools like what Anna suggests to help us cope and heal.

@PeachPlastic

4 жыл бұрын

@@bustermcgee7403 would you please elaborate on the 'philosophical level'? it sounds really familiar but I can't place it just yet

@PeachPlastic

4 жыл бұрын

Aryan Street: uh, life not being what we're promised is stretching the term "trauma" a bit far.

@bustermcgee7403

4 жыл бұрын

@@PeachPlastic I don't entirely understand the question. At the most basic level we all subscribe to some philosophy or combination of philosophies. The Christian outlook, where a final judgement of ones ethics takes place is very common. Consumerism is prevalent, where the purpose of life is the acquiring of man made objects. Nihilism is the belief that there are no meaningful ethics and no basis for them. A nihilist will sometimes be capable of cruelty without remorse. If a parent is a nihilist, and narcissists usually are for example, a child will learn this. At the same time they may be taught Christianity at a very meaningful level. But they might also taught to appear an all times to be a consumer because of the social status. Christianity contradicts the other two, which leads to a kind of internal conflict. Then the parent may have been cruel in very specific ways that play into all this. It could create a very strange snarl, if say there is cruel reinforcement of sexual shame. This is a random example I just got by picking examples. This individual might have a very hard time figuring out why they are maladjusted. It might take some time to get philosophically sorted out to figure out who they really want to be. The nihilism in ones own character can appear as being a kind of wise, street smart. But the overall effect of this example might be that life is not very enjoyable punctuated by shame and pain. This is why personal inventory, looking within, can be useful. My point was that sometimes the problem can not be obvious on the surface, what appears to be "normal" can turn out to be not good at all.

I am so grateful to have found you. I was a scapegoat child and this dysfunction continues within my family to this day. I am now 75. My mother, who was the perpetrator, is still living and I still react to her even in a phone call..she continues with the insidious gaslighting and abuse...at 98!!! I don't quite know what to do about this. I have been just rejecting her phone calls. Still I am glad that even at this late time in my life, I am becoming aware of what really has gone on.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

The Daily Practice will get you feeling free! bit.ly/38JfzK1 -Cara@TeamFairy

@romanastrasheim5226

Жыл бұрын

😰 Go 'no contact' ...save yourself!! 🙌

@nephilimshammer9567

Жыл бұрын

My mom is the same and has dementia. I cant leave her alone though I have to take care of her because its my mother.

@kenbrilliant1639

8 ай бұрын

your mom was but a teenager when she had you? Wow.

@andrewrees8749

2 ай бұрын

Maybe you could talk to your mum, about how she treated you as a child, I have similar issues, I tried to talk to my mother, but she has advanced dementia now, so its too late for me now, I'm currently trying therapy,

Started crying when I watched this. I've never felt so understood. Thank you ❤

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

4 жыл бұрын

Beautiful! So glad you found me!

Pair the disregulation with clinical depression and the “inner radio” goes from telling me how terrible i am for “all of the things” to how lazy i am because i can’t get out of bed at a consistent time or finish organizing (or anything i start to be perfectly honest)… This explains why i feel too overwhelmed to accomplish anything.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

We understand! Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@nicolenethomas1968

5 ай бұрын

CPTSD and ADD has a lot of over lapping symptoms. I don't know anything about you, but your comment sounds a lot like you might be struggling with ADD aswell? Which in turn can make childhood trauma so much more damaging if added on top. Maybe look in to both if you haven't already. Good luck on your journey to healing.

I really needed to hear that people who appear to have a pokerface may really just be disregulated.

I new I had CPTSD from spending 22years with a narcissist who stripped my soul. I always new I had childhood issues from being neglected and emotionally abused but never really knew what it was I needed to address to overcome this. I've watched about 3 of your videos and downloaded two PDF quiz sheets and it's obvious I have childhood PTSD and my brain is completely dysregulated. What you say about my facial expression not expressing how I feel inside is so me. So many people say to me "smile it will never happen" when I was unaware how I looked on the outside. Thank you

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

3 жыл бұрын

This absolutely warms my heart, that my experience speaks to you and give you hope. I'm very glad you're here, and hope you'll check out more videos and other materials on my website: crappychildhoodfairy.com I teach courses and would be very happy to have you in the group.

@Desmondbrown73

7 ай бұрын

31 years with my narcissist before I got out and found out who I really was

What if you know there was trauma but you can't remember it all? In fact, memory of my childhood is almost nonexistent.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

3 жыл бұрын

That's OK! In my techniques I help people notice and heal their symptoms -- the problems happening right now. No memories needed.

@Elya08

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for responding to this CC Fairy. I also have disjointed and/or non-existent memories and huge gaps in memory from my childhood. It’s good to know that healing can occur without the memories there.

@anns1921

3 жыл бұрын

God bless you Sheree! Mine isn't nonexistent but a large part of my childhood memories are missing. Makes it hard to heal from things you can't remember. I truly wish you all the best.

@joedudz

2 жыл бұрын

I'm the same. So much has been blanked. Its good to know reliving the painful memories don't need to be re-lived to move on but good memories have been lost too. What is even more sad is that good memories of the times since childhood are also lost because of the powerful self defence/preservation mechanisms we put in place during childhood.

@stephaniez2349

2 жыл бұрын

I told a therapist once that most of my childhood memories were in black and white. I don't think he understood. I think now that I was separating myself from what happened and it was like watching it in black and white tv.

Anna, this is my world! Finally someone is describing what happened to us while our crazy disconnected parents were playing house. Sick! My dad terrorized me, my mom, ignored me. And bingo, here I am finally figuring out my brain injury.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

3 жыл бұрын

Welcome!

@colorvision7

2 жыл бұрын

Sounds like my experience.

@summero-my5in

Жыл бұрын

@@colorvision7 Me too

I have never been able to imagine the future, mine or anyone else's.

Perfect way of describing my 7am meltdown at work. Chemo for breast cancer made this a million times worse for me, and 2 weeks ago when I had to walk into work with a mask on and all the other people had masks on as well, my brain thought it was in a chemo ward and freaked out, and I am now manifesting physical pain every time I walk in the door and I am in misery. I did not battle cancer for this kind of quality of life, that is for sure.

@nnylasoR

Жыл бұрын

(((((((hugs)))))))

Yes. I completely shut down, go numb when I’m upset. I look blank, unfeeling. And I feel like small things make me go crazy - shopping for clothes, traveling. Hmm...

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

4 жыл бұрын

Mmm-hmmm.

Gosh, it’s like the more I master my regulation, the less I need my addictions. Thank you Anna (and team)!! I’m finally feeling free of my past

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

2 жыл бұрын

That's wonderful to hear! -Cara@TeamFairy

You are the first person in my 57 years of life who has actually explained what I feel. You have a gift. Thank you for sharing it with us. I don't feel hopeful truthfully about ever living a truly happy life because the trauma in my life started so young and lasted so long. I just like watching your videos because no one has ever, ever got it right on the money like you do. I can become so dysregulated that all I can think about is ending my life because I am in a constant state of panic. Actual panic that can last for weeks. When I get like that, not even valium can slow down my heart rate enough or calm my spinning mind. It's horrible. I am so envious of people who don't have this.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

3 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad you found us! YOu don't have to be hopeful about living a happy life to try some of the techniques. Here is a helpful and free course bit.ly/3608opl -Cara@TeamFairy

@FreeButCrowdedMind

2 жыл бұрын

I'm 57 and realized I had CPTSD a couple of years ago. I was right where you are now. I experienced the most pain grieving all of the lost years and unused potential and loss of the life I could have had. Even writing about it now makes me sad. I worked with a therapist to process things. I had to get on an antidepressant because I couldn't stop reliving the feelings and it was severely interfering with my life. I'm more stable now and continue to get more stable but still have an underlying sadness. All I want out of life at this point is to work when I should work (I work from home), sleep when I should sleep, wake up before 10 a.m., eat healthy, exercise a little, leave my house more than once every 4 days. Things that come natural to most people. Maybe once I achieve that balance, I'll have more enjoyable goals.

@charlescarter2072

2 жыл бұрын

My thoughts and prayers are with you

Yep rumination usually hits me then dysregulation along with anger. I'll literally walk In circles.

It's not in your mind, it's in your brain....I love that so much wow

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for listening! -Calista@TeamFairy

I've been dysregulated whenever I go out in public for months now, I'm worried about my health.

It feels as if you are in the room with me, talking to me. You have a gift for connecting even through a screen.

So... Mine (the dysregulation) doesn't come from childhood trauma but from the OTHER "C" in CPTSD; mine is "CHRONIC" PTSD. Years of physical abuse, sexual abuse from boyfriends and from my husband. People don't understand how a husband can sexually abuse you but I don't need to be graphic when I say that if I didn't enthusiastically participate, I got the hell knocked out of me. And of course the emotional/psychological abuse. I have held people spellbound while relating my history to them. The look on their faces was as abusive to my soul as much as the other abuses. I've been in this "lala land" for decades and this is how people know me. It's how my kids know me and it breaks my heart to know understand where it comes from as I feel culpable for it's existence in their lives and my own.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

5 жыл бұрын

Hang in there. Healing is possible and life gets fuller, and happier.

@dawnacoxon3111

4 жыл бұрын

C clinically stands for Complex. I feel you deeply. I did have the childhood trauma but that led to poor partner choices and further abuse. Like the crabby childhood fairy said keep working at it! It will get better! We can change these subconscious patterns that were created to protect us initially but no longer serve us, or at least don’t belong running the everyday show. Neuroplasticity shows the brain can be rewired! Healing takes work and time but can be done! It’s worth it, you deserve to live the best most joyous life possible ❤️

@pettahulme8288

3 жыл бұрын

My heart goes out to you 💖💖💖

I went through all middle and high school like this thinking I was just strange, stupid or dreamy, going from overwhelming emotions to walking between classes feeling like a zombie. It's only in mid-twenties that I realized I wasn't crazy or lazy or overdramatic, but that I was bottling so many things that I had to disconnect to survive. It was very validating when I learned about cptsd and how it's not only huge traumatic events that can scar you immensely. A couple months later, my then-partner literally said ''Are you sure you don't have ptsd?'' when I started having a panic attack because of leftovers. He didn't know about cptsd, so it really confirmed my suspicions if even him could tell that it's not just a weird reaction to an ordinary conflict. I'm looking forward to have an official diagnosis, but I completely relate even without a professional having to declare that it's what I'm dealing with.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

3 жыл бұрын

Keep in mind, according to the American Psychiatric Association, there is no CPTSD, only PTSD is recognized. No shame in a self-diagnosis. Here is a link to a quiz as a self-assessment tool bit.ly/2uXHlOz -Cara@TeamFairy

@IMHip2

2 жыл бұрын

"Disconnect to survive" you just said it for me. My narcissistic mother even said to me once when she and my father were berating me as a child that she would watch me withdraw within myself. You would think if a mother witnessed this she would back off but nope....just keep pushing the person down. Best of luck to both of us ... we can survive this life!

@moonprevalus8313

5 ай бұрын

Happened to me in my 8th grade year everyone just treated me like i was crazy and no one actually helped me.

Emotions are so tricky and when you’re going through stuff heavily, it’s really difficult to put into words how you feel. You really have a way of breaking it all down for me and putting words to all the chaos I’ve been living in for years! Love your videos!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

5 жыл бұрын

Thank you Haley

@jacquelinejorgensen6914

5 жыл бұрын

I couldnt have said it better Haley

@debbielambie4093

2 жыл бұрын

This is me 😥

YES ! I can be in a small group of ladies chatting- they are all participating in the conversation and I feel like I’m listening to ANOTHER language. It’s so CONFUSING! I ask myself - “are you JUST STUPID OR WHAT????”

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

3 жыл бұрын

Hahaha I have had that experience often myself -Cara@TeamFairy

I really relate to some of the ways you described dysregulation. It's like there's always a radio playing in my head, with all these random things being said. Even under the best of circumstances I can never seem to get that radio to turn off anymore. The best I can do is sometimes get it to go very quiet, way in the background.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

5 жыл бұрын

Hmmm. Have you tried the Daily Practice?

@jennw6809

5 жыл бұрын

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Yes but it's not the same as it used to be. EMDR has produced an amazing effect sometimes, but in my case it didn't last (last therapist didn't follow the whole protocol... trying to find a new one now. Therapist shopping is hard!)

@harveymorgan1749

4 жыл бұрын

I often just have my parents in my head putting me down or fighting even when im hundreds of miles away

I explained my disregulation to my BF as like feeling like a tiny person in a Pacific Rim fighter suit, not fully present and watching myself interact with others. Another way I have described it was like the emotions in inside out, watching the real world like a movie screen.

@NineToFiveGamerUC0079

Жыл бұрын

Lol a Jaeger

After learning about the dysregulation and how far it's stretched my life, I decided to write a very pointed letter to parental figures in my life. I realized how much had been robbed from me from all of these issues, and while anger and fury are not the ideal coping mechanism, they are emotions I have held and hidden away because I wasn't proud of them and I felt they were never justified. I can now see looking back how necessary it is for development, because frustration is a natural emotion that you feel especially when things are taken from you, or when you feel cheated. The anger I should have felt back then was taken from me, manipulated away. I know it's not the greatest look, but it can help start the dialogue. I encourage anyone who resonated with this series to continue expressing your feelings, but being able to label them more importantly. We are all capable of love, even if it feels like you're damaged goods there is still hope.

The first concept I've learned in my healing journey came from your videos on dysregulation. It explains why I can't cope with abandonment, overreact to situations, especially when it involves someone criticizing me or when they leave, it's unbearable. I lose control of my emotions and other aspects of me that I wouldn't compromise if I was in my 5 senses. I'm still work in progress, but thank you so much for your videos and your innovative techniques to tailor to childhood trauma survivors. You just can't find this in therapy unfortunately... I guess you really have to go through it to educate others properly, I'm really thankful for you and for using your painful experiences to help others.

@Zen-cx5tc

Жыл бұрын

This is exactly how I feel. I overreact all the time. I just want to feel normal.

This is so incredibly helpful. One of my things that I usually do when I get into those states is I will start self blaming, calling myself stupid over and over ect. Just basically yelling at myself in my head. It's so validating to know that something actually happens physically in the brain. The frustration over living in a way where you don't understand your own head and take all the blame for the shame you feel over being the way you are sometimes is incredibly painful. Thank you so much for these videos. They truly are inspiring. I have self medicated with alcohol as many have, and I honestly find these videos so helpful. The shame and the loneliness that comes from living like that and also being constantly yelled at for it, is very stressful and makes you want more of what took the pain away. These videos are a much better and more helpful tool.

So I have CPTSD and sometimes when I get triggered I can't talk and my boyfriend doesn't know how to help me and I feel like I physically can't talk and if I try to talk it makes me feel like I'm gonna die 😭

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

4 жыл бұрын

Yes. I know the feeling. Come check out my courses!

@lyleea

3 жыл бұрын

Can you still write? Try to use a chat if that works for you.

@DreamQuillRose

3 жыл бұрын

Use a tablet or your phone or pen and paper to write instead of speak. I did that once when I was so angry at my mother I couldn't talk to her for 3 days once. It couldn't make it any worse to try it, right?

@Elya08

3 жыл бұрын

I have had this happen... it’s like something clamps down on my throat and I can’t speak even if I want/need to. My anxiety would well up so badly that I can’t get a deep breath to speak even if I wanted to, and my emotions are so overwhelming I feel like I need to run, yet can’t move.

OMG, I am 65 years old and just figured out I have C PTSD. I have never kept a relationship. I live alone, lost my family, and home. Nobody understands. I've always been alone, even as a child. I couldn't keep a job. People have said I'm a strange person, and my siblings and I are the same. I always felt odd, never fit in anywhere, and have no identity. Also, I have nightmares and still remember childhood nightmares, despite not having any other childhood memories. My adult short and long term memories cause problems also. I tried to explain my issues to a doctor, they don't recognize any of it. All they want to do is give me mood pills. They think I'm just depressed. I refuse any drug therapies. Now I'm disabled, can hardly walk, my nerves are completely shot. My anger gets out of control. I cry all the time. I really hope somebody can help. So many times, I just want to end it all. Amazingly, I'm still here, still trying to figure this out. Everything you said makes so much sense. I thought, at one time, I had aspergers syndrome. It's very unusual for me to even respond in comments.

@JulietCrowson

3 ай бұрын

🫂🕊️✝️

Thank you SO MUCH for explaining this! At least there is a reason for this...I feel so alone some times.

@lizadolittle6736

5 жыл бұрын

Kat S, you aren't alone. There are so many of us going through the same things that you are. We are all here for you. Don't give up, keep working on it. You'll get there! We all feel that way a lot.

@MsBeachboxer

4 жыл бұрын

Yes, Some days I feel all My progress 💓🌷, Others I am tired and don't. I think that's normal w CPTSD and why so many get misdx as BPII.

@hfactor6429

4 жыл бұрын

Kat......WE are brothers and sisters of shared experiences You.....are not alone!

@jaynej2884

4 жыл бұрын

There are more of us thank you know! ;) advocacy helps this. I have begun talking openly about it on FB and accepting questions from others. I have helped a few ppl who have spouses in the same switch.

@lizadolittle6736

3 жыл бұрын

@@sll110 it takes time, learning as much as you can about what triggers you and why, learning to talk yourself back down when you are triggered until you're calm and rational in a triggering situation and doing something with your time that you love. Something you can focus on and put yourself into. We always have to work on ourselves. We can't sit back waiting to get better. We have to live and strive and we should. It's ok! We need to and should be happy. For some of us we have to learn how to do that. Anna has so much great information and so many practices that help so much. You have to find what works best for you. The most important thing is to just take a step back when you are not feeling normal take a few deep breaths and remind yourself you are ok. Then try to let go of whatever strong emotion you are feeling and observe the situation without opinion. Take nothing too personally. I remind myself regularly that I am just an observer here! It works for me. I hope this makes sense to you and helps you find what works the best for you. Never stop working on yourself and forgiveness and giving yourself permission to not worry about those who hurt you but instead focus on your health and well being. It's perfectly fine to make yourself a priority! I wish you the very best in your healing and will be praying and thinking of you. Love, peace and comfort to you my friend!

Something hasn't been right for a long time. Some of my PTSD is Adult related but I am finding out more and more it's connected to my childhood. I never considered my childhood all that bad but when listening to how some behaviors are linked it now makes sense.

unbelievably accurate description. wow.

I look back on the years of my life and I white-knuckled it through it all, I am truly a survivor. Prayer, my faith in God and wise information such as this is healing me.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

We're all rooting for you! -Calista@TeamFairy

Being forced to move from Air Force base to Air Force base is traumatic.

Now at 46yrs i know why i am me' thank you for explaining why at my 17yr old sons funeral' people said i didn't cry so i didn't care when on the inside i am dying. I was a child sex traffics victim and no therapist helped or explained me as well as you just did. Thank you.❤

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your experience with us, we're all sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy

So many things you say that I recognize what's happening to me, my face doesn't express anything and mostly I feel a rush of adrenaline pumping through my vanes and my handwriting changes too... So much that I can't even make my signature anymore, my brain goes into total chaos and it takes a very long time for me to calm down.

😢never heard anyone say that before. Exactly how I have lived through my entire life. I’m 59 our generation is so far behind

They tell me that because my whole childhood was a traumatic event that it is not possible to ever know why I am experiencing trauma my nervous system has taken a picture of a trauma that is stored in my reptilian brain 🧠 I can feel trauma there is no logic attached to it It’s just there no event no memory just how my nervous system remembers it Feelings without pictures or memories I have audio-immune disease and it took me down in my early twenty’s but I got back up and lasted till I was 47yrs old I have worked hard all my life and because of dyslexia I started working when I was six not full time I was just a kid but I was a force to reckon with much better than the classroom I Carried a truancy card so if the police stopped me they could not take me back to school Once I ran into a bunch of my friends playing hooky and the police busted us except me I will never forget the look on my friends faces when they slammed the door on my friends and told me to have a nice day. The next day they wanted to know what a truancy card was. They told me I was ADHD but I lived in a constant state of danger I was in a high adrenaline state I was eight years old and me and my buddy put a full grown man in the hospital with sever head trauma because he was on top of his mother beating her I did not Hesitate and that full grown man ran from us because if he did not we would have killed him he had no doubt I remember the police asking me what happened and after I told him he just looked at me with a totally blank face he turned to the mother and asked how drunk was your boyfriend and she said he was not. The cop asked what about last night and she replied he was not that’s why he was beating me he wanted the kids food money and I would not give it to him The cops could not stop laughing they told me we just took him to the drunk tank when I drove up I saw him staggering and when he saw me he tried to run away and fell on his face he had to get control of himself and tell the cop taking him to the drunk tank that he better take him to the hospital first he was there for four days handcuffed to a bed and picked him up after court on Friday meaning he spent the whole weekend in the tank till court on Monday morning and everybody new that an eight year old and a seven year old beat the shit out of him for beating their mother He moved out of town the humiliation and repercussions were too much for him he had to return for work everyday but never went to the local bars after work I was not a bully or considered to be violent except if A teacher ever hit me I would fight instantly When I was fifteen a principal of a new high school asked me to attend his school that it won’t be the experience I was used to so I agreed in the first two weeks of this new school in the first coed PE classes ever with an olympian head of the new physical education department he was blonde haired and blue eyed he was so pretty and was trying to impress this new group of jail-bate he showed his accuracy with the basketball by deliberately throwing it at me and hitting me in the back of the head The fucking fight was on and I honestly don’t have fear but this olympian sure did he ran for his life into the principals office unannounced locking the door behind him I went to clean out my locker but The principal asked me not to he told me that that teacher made a big mistake and it will never happen again so I agree to stay Apparently they had a big meeting regarding me the teachers were told under no circumstances do you challenge or be physical with this individual And the school board insisted that they never involve me in any activity where anything they put in my hands can be used as a weapon so I never took shop And they did not put me and the Olympian in the same room for two years no teacher ever hit me again For the reasons above no parent wanted me to be with their children and it was not because they did not like me they did I was to damaged I remember this father walking by me and mumbled punk he got twenty feet before his youngest drag him to the ground and told his dad that the reason I looked like that was because I saved him and his brother from a beating he came back and apologized thank me for taking a beating for his boys and brought me lunch If teachers did to a child today what they did to me they would be in jail I remember some mothers crying About how black and blue my body could get As a child I had no idea what the problem was When we were older their children were safer around me that not if I ran from a party there would always be people following me because I never did that for no reason I was way too high adrenaline for most girls but if they were in trouble I was the guy that would take them home where they were safe If any guy wanted to sexually abuse a girl I had better not be there I would rather be dead than living with not doing anything for someone who could not defend themselves against sick assholes Today I’m sixty and I still struggle with what ever emotion I can’t figure out but today I have skills that gets me through it They call it self regulating trauma If I am there than I have a system to get through it

@MsBeachboxer

4 жыл бұрын

💓💔 My heart breaks for the Hell you went through. I do understand that instinct to protect others. I've always been able to sense that another person has come from an abusive background. I think we all can, if we pay attention. 😔

@bluebelldays7650

3 жыл бұрын

You are a good soul.

@evaeggen7825

3 жыл бұрын

K

@heathercruz8282

3 жыл бұрын

I'm dyslexic and have ADHD to I struggled my whole life and a violent childhood be strong it's good that you're taking tools to grow

@terrylaguardia6838

2 жыл бұрын

I’ve been struggling to understand where caring ends and trauma bonding begins. Please let me know, if you can.

There are bad people in this world, my mother who molested kids that came over to her house was bad. All of that was bad. She'd smirk and giggle when I asked confronted her why she took my friend into her bedroom and locked the door. She's old now, I still hate her.

As a preschool teacher in 2008, I would have been fired for saying such a thing to my student’s parents.

@cherylmockotr

10 ай бұрын

You'd still be fired! This is probably the biggest topic that must be nuanced almost to oblivion... telling a mother she's the reason her child is a behavioral mess. I've been honing this skill for 20 years but still tiptoe in with great trepidation!

I think this could be a reason why people say I look so confident and I never look nervous when I say I am. Some ask how I keep my poker face through everything. I pretend it's a super power, but it's not.

Absolutely. She left out sibling abuse, blame, resentfulness, physical and emotional abuse from that sibling. After decades, these siblings still bring up certain situations. No experts mentioned this, just over medicated and misdiagnosed this problem for 50 years. Yes, family sucks as well.

I was this way when I was working full time… my environment was so controlled at work and my lively hood dependent on staying employed because I was already tenured. I would have to tell myself to “pay attention” …and when I drive I have to tell myself to “pay attention”. I’m retired now and am a total homebody…and I love car camping.

I slip into some sort of absent state if i start thinking of traumas. I will snap out of it and it scares me after because these are states where i have gotten reactively violent to someone flipping me off in traffic or something dumb like that. I even see my sister switch to this brain state when i just try to talk to her constructively about her behaviour. It is really messed up and my parents refuse to see or address it or take any responsibility. Ive given myself migraines and the physical and visual type changes are real. I had dp/dr since i can remember as a child. My mom goes into the absent state for hours and just parks herself in front of tv because she cant deal with my dad's dysfunctions and she in turn becomes dysfunctional herself as a coping mechanism. Its really sad to see all the damage my father's casual alcoholism, daily anger, manipulation, lies, etc have done to an entire family and how it infected and spread out. The amount of misery i subjected myself to is hard to get over and i resent him so much now as an adult and am slowly just seeig hate being transformed into sadness for him. Watching him degenerate now in older age due to his own self neglect is the ultimate hollow end. I am trying to deal with him being infirm soon and knowing i am not interested in wiping his butt. The worst part is he has the ability to be healthy but just refuses to try. The biggest tragedy is how he dragged my mom into this kind of life. This guy who used to scare the hell out of me is just a pathetic old man now who cant even walk up a flight of stairs without looking like he is about to collapse. The economic conditions and my own failures causing me to live with him is really a big mark on my life. I tried to get away so many times desperately on shaky grounds and always failed.

I'm taking a break from my family-(and most people in general) in order to quiet all of the Dysregulation in my brain....

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

3 жыл бұрын

Sounds good

Thank you so much I’m actually sobbing in tears thank you!!! I’ve known for years that I am but to get help with it is so difficult and just hearing you say it can be turned around is a sentence I never thought I’d hear I’ve been coping on my own for 7+ years

I'm tired and, when I'm not tired, I'm angry at myself for not...not being content with what is ok, not having dreams, not wanting to get up, even though my stuff is just in my head and my body is great, unlike my sister with the very debilitating neurological pain. I don't even know how to check if you respond to this comment. Your words ring true. Thank you!

@anz10

3 жыл бұрын

Cptsd + other experiences lead me to have neurological pain so bad I couldnt walk very far without triggering it. I healed myself with TMS / mindbody techniques, suggest looking up tms wiki to start with if your sis is interested it might help. I can only speak of my experience though and cant guarantee anything of course. However, I'm so extremely grateful for looking into the mind body connection and the pain pathways in my brain it triggered, I couldn't control it but with time I retrained my brain.

I had that same situation about looking like I don’t care! I was at a piano recital when I was a child and I completely forgot a piece. And my teacher yelled at me “ don’t you feel anything! » And I was mortified! And I couldn’t understand why she doesn’t see that.

It's been one year since I left a group that I had been in for 50 years feels great the internalized rage has diminished a lot.

@katejackson6502

3 жыл бұрын

Congratulations it can be so hard!

I feel DEAD inside today, and yet my brain feels like it’s spinning in a cusinart. The dichotomy is so confusing till you just don’t care any longer.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

11 ай бұрын

If you haven't already, try Anna's Daily Practice. It is the technique that led to Anna’s own healing, and she uses it to this day. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Julie@TeamFairy

I have such a hard time explaining this about myself. I usually just say I feel every emotion on a much larger than normal scale. Typically though fear and self doubt are at the front. My history of childhood, adolescent, and young adult abuse has programmed me to believe that I am worthless, unlovable, and if anything doesn't work out that it's my fault. I was diagnosed with CPTSD in April of this year. Trying to understand this and begin to heal is so very difficult.

I came to this video after going into a self-criticism spiral for just sharing something interesting that happened to me on fb and someone commenting on it positively. I am often very motivated and excited to get out in the world, share myself, get to know people, then when I do I get very self critical, have racing thoughts like “I’m so stupid,” and wish I could take everything back and hide forever.

I really needed this. Thank you.

Finally yore telling me what no one else has , it has made me feel like such a bad person so often

So accurate. When this happens to me it’s like I’m going into a different world. I guess what a normal person would say and also I tend to blank out a lot of what people say bc I’m so in my head when they’re talking and so focused on feeling uncomfortable and trynna play shit off that I kinda just have to pretend I heard what they said.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

2 жыл бұрын

You're not alone! -Cara@TeamFairy

I feel like that most of the time. 😪

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

4 жыл бұрын

I get it!

I'm learning about all this at an old age. I never knew what was wrong, I thought I was defective. It helps to know but it's also too much to bear.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

I hear you. I know it can feel overwhelming, but you deserve to heal and we're all sending you encouragement! -Calista@TeamFairy

@merrill5780

Жыл бұрын

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thank you

I'm so overwhelmed

Wow! You put it into words that I've never been able find to describe something I've never understood. This is exactly what I experience.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

3 жыл бұрын

It is a joy to meet others who get it. Glad you're here.

It was stuff that happened in my adulthood that ultimately triggered my c-ptsd. It's hard to hear the part about putting things aside when you've always felt dismissed. Thank you for the video. Nice description at the beginning.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing!! -Cara@TeamFairy

THis happens to me regularly, I forget what I’m talking about mid conversation, and I enjoy arguing with people once m triggered. It’s out of control, only just been diagnosed, everything is sloting into place at last at 55. Good luck and love to all ❤️💚💙💜

Focus on right now. The past can't actually touch me now.

I often wondered why my handwriting changed mid-word or sentence, now I understand. Great video, thanks for doing what you do.

The things that caused the trauma have ended. The consequences (changes in our brain) is what's holding us back. ...that's so frustratingly true.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Ай бұрын

Yes, that is why working on healing is so important. Healing is possible and it's worth the effort! Nika@TeamFairy

Yes. Exactly. For me a vital part of healing is to become aware of dissregulation itself. It feels unbearable but it is definitely liberating and makes you realize why you have been addicted to numerous things and people and lived in an illussion all your life so far. And have made so many unreasonable 'mistakes' and behaved irrationally even in the easiest of situations. Disregulation feels like sheer crazinness. There's a total lack of safety whatsoever. One can have limitless compassion for oneself when they let themselves feel IT at last and not have a nervous breakdown . Thank you for describing the whole experience in such great details. 🙏💚

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for watching! -Cara@TeamFairy

I have spent my life like this. Dissociation and adhd. I had severe neglect as a kid. This is brilliant

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

3 жыл бұрын

So glad. you're here!

I've been completely shut down on and off for years. I stimulate my critical thinking to control my emotions but I can't make myself reengage with the world.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

3 жыл бұрын

It's really good you're here. Don't give up. Healing is possible!

What if you spent your childhood and early adulthood submerging your emotions as a protective mechanism, to the point where you don't always know what you're feeling unless it's extreme, like anger? The anger overwhelms my life, often unconsciously, in physical tension, acid reflux and lack of trust in people. How do I get rid of it? I'm not a violent person but I think, if I ever let all the anger surface, I would be. It might make me cease to be human. I am thinking of getting a punching bag.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

3 жыл бұрын

I think "venting" techniques have been pretty well shown to make anger and dysregulation worse, not better. In any case I don't know of anyone who is trying to use it therapeutically, but I'm pretty much exclusively focused on teaching the techniques and principles that helped my recovery. You may want to give my methods a try!

Healing is now a safe and doable concept and the idea of being able to recognize our own survival responses feels miraculous and ever so joyful 😃

I’m aspie and have this with cptsd...try my mind...

@kaitlinmontgomery2750

4 жыл бұрын

Lmao our brain is like cptsd on steroids.

@Angelica-ps4cs

3 жыл бұрын

Tai Qi helps a lot

@donotdisturb3687

3 жыл бұрын

Ditto

@Elya08

3 жыл бұрын

My heart goes out to y’all aspies with cptsd. My brother has Asperger’s, so trauma is worse for him, too. Stay strong, but be weak when you need and want to. I don’t know if I’m an aspie, but I am highly sensitive, if only from so much trauma in my life. Much love to y’all!

@vampmilf

3 жыл бұрын

me too... i feel like giving up

Dysregulation. Wow. I think that's it. I've felt like I've had no language to describe or even understand what I've experienced. I've always been known for being exceptionally slow and spacey and klutzy - and randomly failing in the most mundane and basic tasks. (These issues seemingly contradictory to related skills I could otherwise regularly demonstrate). And in recent years, I've been trying to express how the root of my dysfunction seemed more cognitive than psychological or emotional. It is so exciting to hear my experience articulated and feel hopeful that I can actually change and regulate my brain! Thank you so much for putting together these resources and videos!

@brendamedill

3 жыл бұрын

100% feel the same way!!

@alexislaube4745

2 жыл бұрын

I can totally relate. It so bad when someone is watching you do the most basic stuff too. When I was young I was doing a try-out at a bakery and they told me not to come back for the job because I couldn't get the boxes folded fast enough. I just left and cried at the bus stop smh.

I just purchased your Dysregulation course. I just became aware i have been living in a dysregulation state of mind for 9 years.

just listening to you helps me reregulate... thank you for these videos...

It’s a real thing. I think of it as a few filling cabinets that I have in my head. Year after year I’ve shoved thoughts, moments, feelings into these filing cabinet’s then one day the drawers opened and a fan now emerges. It’s on medium speed and all the files start blowing around. I try to grab the blowing paper but nothing goes together. One piece might be from 1988 and another from 2003 and I’m unable to sort though all the chaos. So simple conversations or task seem impossible.

Wow! I’ve been on medication, therapy, 30 day inpatient care, lose two wives confused because I loved them!! You just explain everything in this one video! Ty!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

5 ай бұрын

We're so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

I’ve never heard anyone say these things before. Thank you so much.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

4 жыл бұрын

Glad you found me!

thank you for helping me understand myself and feel less alone

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

3 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome!

Great presentation. Ive never seen or heard such good examples. I have similar problems like how my writing changes when I'm drowning in dysregulation and or dissociation. I shoplift to snap out of it. Now my life is a dumpster fire. I have a grueaome stack of triggers. So painful and unfair. Thanks for sharing. The past gnaws at you. Its destabilizing. Deteriorating. The past won't let go.

@MsBeachboxer

4 жыл бұрын

💓 Yes, sadly most people don't know that shoplifting is often an addiction. There is finally recognition & treatment available. I know a woman who has done well with dual addiction. 💓👍

Yes, it is being over cautious, careful not to show your emotions, in fear of judgment. Not knowing how to react, because it was never safe to react normally.

My life is bad and I'm scared. I'm certain I have CPTSD. I'm on the autism spectrum. This last year has been disastrous. I got my emotionally abusive roommate out, thank goodness. I'm severely dysregulated. Hyper sensitive. Can't go out in public without noise cancelling headphones or I'll have a meltdown or panic attack. I'm unable to work and my only income currently is plasma donation. My life is falling apart. I'm an artist and I have hope there. I'm creating a product with my art but no money from that so far. I've got $35 in my wallet and a few dollars in my bank account. My mind is slipping into darkness. My dysregulation means that I'm not able to make good decisions. I've backed away from nearly everyone in my life. I'm fairly isolated except for a few people. I'm at a low point... A very low point.

@JulietCrowson

3 ай бұрын

Hope you're ok 🫂🕊️✝️ Please pray It's a big help God will help all of us ✝️🕊️🫂

I’ve been having therapy for sexual abuse I suffered as a child and also the bullying I was subject to also every day at school and beyond. I didn’t realise that my brain may be change because of these events. I’m triggered recently when children shout and play outside. I have a massive panic attack sometimes and have to take lorazepam to calm down. I’m 58 and so want to get better. I hope through your different approaches I can learn a new way. There’s little time left for me, but I want it to be joyful and happy, rather than fearful and anxious.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

2 жыл бұрын

Lots of time left for you to have a full life, so glad you're here :) -Cara@TeamFairy