The earlier you hear this as a man the better. I realized this at 17-18 and stopped caring about my empty pointless relationships and focused on my goals. I still know guys who go out together and drink and waste their time.

@hard.aground

Жыл бұрын

I've been trying to impress this on my boys, but as we know when you're a teenager you think your parents don't know anything and isn't until later on in life, they were right. My oldest is starting to get it, but it's lesson he'll have to learn on his own.

@253Monty

Жыл бұрын

and what were your goals if you don't mind me asking?

This is one of the truest videos made by Elliot no bullshiiiz I let go of almost everyone and I have been thriving by my danm self

@saadk8905

Жыл бұрын

It sucks if you have no friends....

@blackout2430

Жыл бұрын

@@saadk8905 it does but it is 1 million times better than having friends who pretend to be your supporters but deep down they’re just trying to sabotage everything that you are doing in your life because of jealousy that they think is covert when in reality it’s overt

@saadk8905

Жыл бұрын

@@blackout2430 brother relax it's not that serious. Your not that special like drake or dj Khaled level to think "everyone is after me" what I'm simply saying is after 30 most if not all your friends disappear simply from moving, marriage, career, family, kids obligations. Find a purpose in your life where you are willing to be alone for awhile to get the job done.

@blackout2430

Жыл бұрын

@@saadk8905 right. Ok captain obvious lol

@thewizrdofoz1

Жыл бұрын

@@saadk8905when you said “brother relax, it’s not that serious” I died 🤣🤣 But I’m a serious note, you don’t have to be a celebrity to have a group of people wanting to see you fail. I’m a 25 year old male, grew up in the hood, I genuinely can’t recall me ever being envious or jealous of another man in my entire life. I always looked at people winning and got motivated like “damn.. that’s gone be me one day” but yet I’ve been in more than enough situations where life proved that people were jealous of me or wanting to see me lose. It’s a LOT of people out here who secretly don’t like their “friends.”

YES! PREACH!!!!!!!! PREEEEEEEACH! I have always thought that friends really don’t exist. You’re lucky to have one or two real good friends in your life and that is a total blessing if you could ever have that. Every guy in my life has always been competitive whether it be sports or women or life in general. People just want people around them to make them feel better about themselves, but the minute that you are more successful than them they have no time for you. And even if you’re not successful yet, but you’re like me striving towards your dreams and goals every day and your mission in life, your friends will be disgusted by that because they wish that they had that drive and focus as well. You cannot win. Dump them all focus on getting married or focus on your singleness and relationship with God. Also want to add I always thought there was something wrong with me because my father always had a friend circle and was Mr. social. It was not good for his marriage ultimately ended. Let’s just put it that way. Still love him though, but we are definitely wired differently.

@TheEntireWuTangClan

Жыл бұрын

100% true

@daywil03

Жыл бұрын

Well said ❤

Halfway through my 30s and this is very hard to swallow but at this point I dont miss it, I miss comradery but do not going out or talking shit over a beer

Your friends are a reflection of who you are as a person. If you want to evolve as a person it’s very hard to when the people you surround yourself with don’t want you to evolve or they have a bad influence on you. Best to be as independent as possible and have acquaintances. Never expect anyone to have your back except God. Find a wife and children and focus on developing a strong family bond with them. People that lack that strong family bond search for it through “friends” and often times fall into worldly BS so they can fit into a group or society as a whole. Even if your friends are not bad people there is still a huge chance they’re holding you back. Every time I cut off a friend out of my life I level up ten fold.

@SaturnReturns

Жыл бұрын

Well said.

@user-gx2mg9yf6r

Жыл бұрын

"Even if they're not bad people they could still be holding you back" ? Holding you back from what? People who talk like this sound like they just care about money more than anyone else. Or "cut your friends off and just focus on your goals". Most of the time the only "goal" they have is to make more money.

@seeker2182

Жыл бұрын

For me it was simply bodybuilding. I wanted to lose weight and get In shape and my jealous fat friend called me effeminate for wanting to be healthy.

@daywil03

Жыл бұрын

That's definitely true

@kenandrieling5885

Жыл бұрын

@@user-gx2mg9yf6r you sound like a liberal

Friends come in and out of your life in seasons, sometimes you outgrow each other, sometimes you realized the relationship was wrong, sometimes it just fizzles out. Usually the only people who care about this is the person who has no idea on how to make new friends or socialise in general, so they latch on to their buddies as "THEIR BUDDIES" . It's a natural part of life that we all go through, only thing you can do is cherish the fun memories you had with them, wish them all the best and move on with your life.

Elliot is back. Keep this up, be consistent, trust in God and you will blow up once again. If you don't care enough at some point, then do it for the young men out there who need to hear this.

How awesome to wake up to Elliott answering my question! Thanks brother. The 'mission' perspective is something I've never thought of. This makes a lot of sense and you were ON POINT when describing what we do when we get together: gossiping like women, sharing pop culture bs, etc. Your advice has given me a lot to think about. The 'convenience' thing I got from one of my dad's emails to me 20 years ago when I was in uni, a few years before he passed. He was around the age I am now, and I think he came to a similar realization in his life. He wrote that "friendships are a matter of convenience and once the convenience comes to an end, so does the friendship". That always stuck with me, even though I never truly understood it at the time. But now that I'm get to be the same age as he was, it's starting to really hit me. Thanks again for answering! I'm gonna ask a follow up at some point regarding the relationship between men and alcohol and increased estrogen levels, causing heavy drinking men to behave more like women.

@yoelliott

Жыл бұрын

Yes sir. Sounds like your dad was a wise man. May he rest in the peace of Christ.

My only real friends I have (about 4 or 5) I made in the military. We don't live near each other anymore, but we stay in touch regularly and for a couple of them I would be obligated to drop what I'm doing and drive across the country if they said they needed me there. There is something to be said about the bonds men make when they are subjected to really shitty situations and through relying on each other, make it out. I believe its called "trauma bonding". Regardless, its good to know anytime day or night, we have each other to bounce ideas off each other, check in on each other, and generally reminisce about the good old days that we thought sucked at the time. Everyone else is a workplace associate or gym acquaintance.

@zeros9921

Жыл бұрын

@srbside The man's never been in a situation where he would actually have to look out for the man to his left or his right let alone give his life. Military service makes bonds that don't go away. Dudes don't fucking kill themselves after being to war or military service just because.

I'm 39, dropped a couple of friends a few months or so ago since they took some nasty shots below the belt, basically projecting, taking their anger out, maybe even out of jealously on somebody they thought was their safe zone. To make things worse, my brother is an addict and has no desire to talk or see me unless he can get something out of me. I feel absolutely miserable around him. And my mom is nearly impossible to have a conversation with. she gets angry over nothing, and tries to shut everything down. Total drama queen and an over emotional train wreck. I've called out both of them, respectively, on their BS, and they just make excuses and tell me to basically f*** off and get a life. My dad was pretty cool, i could talk to him about anything, but he passed away back in 2005. The only way to navigate all of this is to keep my distance and limit everything to small talk. It's pretty upsetting and frustrating feeling like you're kind of all alone in the world. But at the same time I can handle it pretty well at times since i'm more of an introvert, and I'm an artist, with plenty of hobbies that i'm passionate about that bring me joy and happyness.

I pray every one watching this level up financially, physically, mentally and spiritually this year! Let's get to work 🙏💰💪

He is right, my friend group would float the river during the summers and play disk golf and hang out at the gym. Tragically one of our friends drowned in a river accident, since then we haven't floated the river again and the group just slowly withered away over the years. It's a daily reminder that you should try to love people as much as possible because you never know. You can see them one day and the next day they could be gone forever, you just don't know.

Yes exactly... that's what I was thinking about today... how I don't speak with my friends from school or university anymore after we graduated.. after they got married they even unfriended me on facebook which makes things even worse and very awkward if I see them outside (they didn't invite me to weddings btw)... I think they are users now too driven by self-interest because they only ask me to do them favors (they rarely return the favor and are so self-centered) or they only call when they need something but not when I call them... they sometimes act like we were never friends just because we were apart for a few years (living in different cities)... sooo weird. They don't seem to want friends or don't value their old friends at all and it seems like they want to stand out from their friend group as something more. Humans are very weird. In my school years my friends were a bad influence on me and at college they didn't want me to evolve and they wanted to be the center of attention... some even turned against me which was even worse.

Thanks Elliot needed this. You seem to always have a message when I most need it.

I have no day to day friends either. Only “friends” I made was when I was in the navy. Specifically a deployment where myself and 2 other men bonded over our jobs and goals. We worked together on the project site because we had the same job. We went to the gym together because we had the same goals. I saw their capabilities and they saw mine. It was a friendship based off of that. Not based off of our favorite book, or our favorite team. We never gossiped. At the gym we all wore headphones and didn’t talk. At the worksite, we worked hard and pushed eachother everyday. It was a great 6 months of my life. That was back in 2019. We are all out now. I keep in touch here and there but it’s not the same dynamic. But in that moment, I would have done anything for those guys. I used to try and explain this to my ex fiance. She would tell me I needed friends because I never talked to anyone casually. She did. She spent the day talking to people from work. Hanging out with them after work. All socially. With no real purpose. I told her that it’s pointless. She would try and get me to know her work friends. Some of them guys. I said I don’t care to know them because I have nothing in common. I’m not going to small talk with guys she worked with just so she could try and justify talking to them. It’s ridiculous. That brings another issue up with women in the workplace. Men no longer want to work. They would rather prefer and sit there gossiping or bitching about their jobs/lives.

Respect Elliot - this really clicks! Makes me more comfortable in ignoring the msgs from those I feel are utilitarian with no real upside for me practically, spiritually or mission based

That was awesome and I'm inspired that I still see videos like this from E. It's awesome to watch the honing and perfecting of the message.

Phenomenal message. I needed to hear this. Thank you

I'm in a stage of my life where my friend group broke apart. I was a little bit sad about it this past month but I'm slowly embracing the change and just assuming there must be a good reason for it. Sometimes it's not all about yourself and you just have to move on in life.

@encapsule2220

Жыл бұрын

whenever any kind of relationship end for me, i always level up in life. Its a new phase of your life, be excited.

God has put Elliott on a new journey. God bless you brother

I have a select group of friends I can always call on whether its emotional support or help moving something too heavy i can also say exactly whats on my mind no matter how fucked up and I do the same for them, that's the true definition of a friend to me. I feel lucky to have this as I don't make or accept somebody as a friend easily at all

One can relate and appreciate the beautiful perspective.... This OG format was a nice touch 'Yo Elliot' from a decades old. Thank you sir 👍🤜

I have 3 great friends. Guys I grew up with. I got lucky bc 2 particularly are great guys. We don't see each other much, maybe once a year, but it's always good. Anything they'd ever need, I'd be there and vice versa. Good friends can help you get in shape, stay clean, improve your business, keep perspective during relationships, bail you out, & have a good time. Bad friends can be very damaging so make friends with good people who you want to be like

Preach bro.. You explain my behavior exactly. Not that I ever even meant to be this way, but it's just how I have always been. I used to have a friend group in my teenage years and early twenties, but none of them were really ever loyal to each other. People would fall out of the group at random due to ignorant fighting over who paid for the w33d or whatever else we were doing. But once I stopped drinking and drugs, I literally had no reason to be around any of them anymore. I'm over 40 now, and I've done so much better by myself for decades. My only boys now are dudes that I've hired and work beside everyday, including my own brothers. Otherwise, everyone else means nothing to me really. I don't need friends; and I can easily entertain myself with work or learning... which I'm always doing.

@Noname-lk2ol

Жыл бұрын

Don't lie bro.

Well-timed. Thanks, Elliott. I wanted to say, too: a reason why I respect Elliott so much is because you can tell he's for real about everything he says. Grifters like Andrew Tate can't be on his level because it's not in their core. Elliott's been a teacher, a guide for years. You can see it in his eyes, you can hear it in his voice--that fire, that determination. Even with every change he's gone through, he's never backed down from his mission: to help make men into the strongest version of themselves.

This video cam into my life at the perfect time. I’m going through serious growth and I’ve made a choice to focus on me and my goals. I’ve made efforts to cut drinking, not completely but for performance. When I did this I quickly noticed that a lot of my friendships were about drinking. Then I asked myself why if not for drinking am I friends with these people? Do they celebrate my wins? Do we share the same values? Why do I feel I have to live in silence about my opinions to feel accepted? My sons asked me recently why don’t I hang out with my friends anymore. I told them sometimes friends grow apart and it’s a normal part of life. These were friends I had for 30 years that I chose to let go. I’m convinced I’m going to grow faster because of it and become the man I was meant to be which is the best version of myself.

This is giving yo Elliott vibes, also appreciate you making videos standing up it’s a way better vibe than when you’re sitting down on a chair

I made some great bonds with my friends when I was in high school, but they also turned into trauma bonds and we all became addicts/alcoholics. It was hard to let those go but once I quit drinking, quit using, started a business started writing books and healed from my scars I started flying solo. Whenever I would hang with friends after that I felt the pull of their influence and could feel my inner bitch wanting to compromise on my values. And now, finally I just stay away from “hang time” and wasting time with the boys. The only time I connect with other men is if they are like-minded and share the same mission and values. This video validates me

@Noway976

Жыл бұрын

I joined the air force to flee from the situation you just stated :)

@natewilson5679

Жыл бұрын

@@Noway976 Heck yeah! Congrats bro

Consistent Elliot 💪🏿💪🏿🔥

Some people will tolerate your weirdness and/or find it amusing. Embrace being who you are. Be kind, be respectful and know your boundaries.

Keep these kinds of new vids going E!

Be The King Your Family Deserves - www.waronvice.com/?eh=070823

just listened to the first 10 secs and i totally..agree ..also heard some words in my native language..and blew me away..

I have a low number of very close ride or die type friends. And yes a lot of that drive is having each others backs through the trials and tribulations of business / life / family/ protection development

For awhile I thought there's something wrong with me for not really wanting to " hangout " with the guys. This clarity from the video makes total sense. But, Elliott, won't you be my BFF!?!? Lol

This is so powerful.

Great Video

This was an incredibly powerful message and one that I definitely need to hear. I’ve always been a “Lonewolf“ and I’ve always been comfortable in my skin with it but often times have questioned if it was righteous. You just gave me the answer that I needed to hear. Such a powerful message.

yes i believe Friendship is a temporary bond to serve a common purpose, i don't have anything in common with other guys my age.

Wow this was right on the money sir

Very well said bro ! I don't have any friends either !

This video is insane i always felt this but never knew how to express it also my life got so much bettter when i realized i never had friends for years and got away from those people jesus is my compass now i still struggle like anyone it can be lonely sometimes but my goals and mindsets are priority over those types of "friends"

At age 52. I have lots of friends and make more as I go along in life. I am either lucky or I don’t know. I have men and female friends. I have way more men friends though. We go for walks/movies/music concerts. Talk about social things and politics. Go to dinner. There are some male friends where we are limited in the times that we get together, but I love and adore my friends and they are rock solid. Way more rock solid than the Romantic relationships I have with women in terms of being rock solid.

You got one thing wrong ; Why would i wanna fight and die for people that don't call me or want to hang out with me in the first place ?

@yoelliott

Жыл бұрын

Why would I want to call and hang out and people that I’m not on mission with?

@RadicallyGreen

Жыл бұрын

@@yoelliott In the video, you literally admit that you view male friendships as utilitarian which is just a fancy way of saying "using people".

@yoelliott

Жыл бұрын

@@RadicallyGreenyes

@RadicallyGreen

Жыл бұрын

@@yoelliott So my initial point still stands.

I completely agree❗️...BUT❗️if your an island bro your gonna fail alot of winnable battles...if your single , at that point in life were you dont quite trust your parents and have a rocky income your screwed❗️....and if you get in a relationship b/c humans crave companionship your gonna be too needy eventually...very complex meaning the issue changes as you solve the problem....Find hobby❗️, Find some buddies for each mood fun, chill , the therapist etc. Dont just take give something as well and keep balance ✌🏿

@deejackson5071

4 ай бұрын

P.s. If you suck in life right now, you're probably not an ideal friend...fix that

Very interesting. I guess it depends on the definition of friendship.

Facts! Took me thirty five years to understand this

John 15:14 Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Jesus

I got 2 friends see em once a month all you should ever need

💯‼️💯

Yes; all relationships in its purest form are transactional.

Elliot your look is badass with the shaved head and light stubble. You look like a Super Hero. Like Luke Cage’s cousin.

They’re silencing his channel. Shadow ban. I haven’t got updates at all and I’m subbed. Weird.

There is so much truth in this. Let this 10 minutes sink in, follow Christ and never be the same again

Agape= Devine love

Yep, friendships are bullshit for the most part in my experience

Friends arent a thing in reality

Amen.

Makes sence

How about set a lifelong strong purpose with the friends that have stuck around for long enough, through a lot of sh*t, and that really are worth it? That might ad some love to our life, no?

First there are a lot of bandaid fixes on things like not looking at women, not looking doesn't fix it. Overcoming lust and treating women like cousins does. I paused at the part where you said you have no friends. This topic drove me insane a few years ago and I figured a lot of it out. You have lots of friends Elliot, if you want them, so that's not really true. But lets see what you say. That's part of why I stick around for you and Casey and David as long as I have. I'm a true friend to you guys, just cause that's how it is. It's not conditional, most of the time I get treated really poorly. Doing that is natural and so I've shared it so you know what it's like for real, cause you all claim to have no friends, but you all have me. I may not be the best person in the world, but I'm a fairly decent friend. You're right, but kinda not at times. There is something natural with friendships and it gets missed and messed up into all or nothing, but its grey, blue, reds, all the colors. It's not just black or white. I might not be 100% right or able to explain it, bit neither are you, not yet. There is so much more to it that we miss arguing black or white.

@coffeelover1763

Жыл бұрын

It's not likely in our case, but what if we were family Elliot, cousins or something. Who I am and what I'm about, what I explain, would make more sense to you... Wouldn't it? If we shared DNA, then it would make more sense why I am the way I am right? If I'm right, and we are the same sort of person, it would be completely different. I could be wrong, but I think with the heart and mind you have, you would understand.

💯💯💯💯

Yeah idk if I'm with this. If you feel like you need to call an old friend and see how they're doing, do it. Lack of connection in this world is a huge driver for suicide, and just because this guy has a family and such, not everyone has that. Psych studies tell us that people who choose to stay in at least remote contact with old friends and acquaintances have better life experiences an enjoyment. Is it going to be like school when you were around people all the time? No. But people matter and if people don't matter, none of this matters. There's nothing feminine about talking to friends. Also, if you want, think about it in terms of the future. Those people you liked back then, they might come back around. If you stayed in contact with them, they will know you're a real one. and if they have pull, they will pull through for you.

Maybe cool advice od someone had cool relationship with father but most guys needs friendships

I'm curious what you think about women friendships. I just had a baby and lost all my "friends". Maybe like how divine masculine men are "mission-driven" friends, the divine feminine woman is "purpose-driven".

Society is always trying fagg us up smh.

He’s right on the mission thing, but the Bible talks about friendship and brethren and love for your friend. A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17

@Payote88

Жыл бұрын

He spoke on that with the different types of luv. Also you kinda proved the point of family is for dealing with problems what do you need friends for? Gossiping…

@notyourtypicalcomment2399

Жыл бұрын

@@Payote88 obviously friendship is a type of love relationship, obviously not romantic or sexual, but is involved, gossip is a trait some ppl have, has nothing to do with what real friendships is. Friendship and fellowship involves love though.

In Jewish tradition basically your friends are the ones you sit down and study the Bible with. You are not just "friends" there's no such thing. You are friends because you are together sort of "fighting" in order to understand what the Talmud says. You have Commandments to do and that's it. There is no "going out together/hanging out together" sort of thing. You are supposed to be married if you are a grown up man, you hang out with your wife.

@adfohukafoju5759

Жыл бұрын

how come in jewish tradition, they read Bible. Jews dont believe in Jesus.

@goodmusic210

Жыл бұрын

Sad existence bro

@Seth6000

Жыл бұрын

@@goodmusic210 From your obseravtion it might be sad

@Seth6000

Жыл бұрын

@goodmusic210 It's not that you don't sit with friends and eat. You do it for a bigger purpose, like celebrating a holiday. You mostly don't just go out and drink so you can get a "feeling"

@goodmusic210

Жыл бұрын

@@Seth6000 I get the drinking part man but sometimes just sitting and chatting sh@t is cool

Word! I’m 50 years old. My only “friends” are my wife’s friends spouses. We only get together when it’s my wife’s idea. Otherwise I’m getting shit done.

@artakparonyan5180

Жыл бұрын

Bro so true.

You do make good points, but this could be all wrong. It could be traumatizing and wrong. It needs deeper thought. Just because this is how things seem right now, doesn't mean it's correct or that it should be encouraged. Ya know? We learn new information all the time and often we are all wrong about a lot of things. Maybe there is better information and a better way to go about this friendship stuff. Maybe what we focus on is all wrong. No one else really understands, but one thing that makes me wonder about it all being wrong is how it works over time. People who are friends because that is just who they fit with, and it stays that way over a lifetime even if people grow apart and come back together as friends. It can go deeper into other lifetimes of our ancestors as well.

@coffeelover1763

Жыл бұрын

I lost where I was lol. It's hard to figure out the best way to try to explain who your friends are.I've explained a lot, and you are smart, so if you try you can work it out. Possibly the people that have no friends, are most likely your friends. If you could organize people into groups with science and math, there would be core groups. Some groups overlap with other groups. True friendship can be seen. If I were to take to around my town, and show you who my real friends are, you could see it. If I could get my friends into a group in the same place, cause some are from all over, you could read them. Even though we are not all friends right now, doesn't mean they are not my true friends. They can say they are not at this point, but I know better

@ArgonNoble

Жыл бұрын

Meds. Now

@coffeelover1763

Жыл бұрын

@@ArgonNoble You are bothered?

@franceslee8194

9 ай бұрын

Judging by your username you may have had too much coffee when typing this. Can you be more brief?

@coffeelover1763

9 ай бұрын

@@franceslee8194 Perhaps.

I'm not saying what you are talking about isn't true for most people, but I don't understand how you are able to truly love god if you aren't able to love his products (souls under his creation) in the same way. Seeing and loving who we really are and not just having functional, short-term bonds is one of the most divine things you can do in my opinion, otherwise how can we claim we're spiritually more advanced than animals?

@Wheat777

Жыл бұрын

Interesting perspective. Are you able to love all of Gods products ( souls under his creation)? Is an individuals love of God a quantifiable metric that we get to decide ( judge) as an outsider? What does this metric for discernment look like? 0-50 friends= is lying and doesn’t love God. 50-100 friends= better but still not close to loving god. 100-1000 friends= warmer but still missing the truly loving God mark. 10 billion friend= yup, he loves God. The very term friend is subjective to each individual. Also this “ love of God” is only between you and guess who? There are no tests for this inquiry. There are people who believe flying planes into buildings is doing Gods work. They really truly believe these things! That is why it is a subjective thing. A sniper overseas kills people ( Souls under his creation) for God and country. He is touted as a hero. A sniper at a shopping mall shooting civilians is an evil person. Same action but one act of killing is supposedly good and ordained by God and the other is a maniac. God is also subjective to each individual, much like the definition of “ friends”. We will never quantify this externally by any metric, but can be known internally when it is between just ourselves and the one who you determine for yourself as God.

@Remember_H

Жыл бұрын

@@Wheat777 Not at all am I saying that having more friends is "better", if anything the opposite signals a real person. That being said, I believe that god loves everyone of his creations, however, as humans we can hardly love everyone. There are souls that have gone very far off from their divine life path and it would be a very dumb decision to be friends with them. We are part of god (but not god) so I think by seeing the divinity in god's creations (souls) we are much closer to god than if our spiritual practice was to "only" talk to him separately.

Not everything is this serious. There is a purpose for acquaintances.

my friends smoke pot and gossip like litte girls. nothing more (both men and women)

You talk trying to explain the Love of a Man. But do you think there ever was a man with no masculine side at all? I don't think that's possible, neither biologically nor psychologically.

Die before you die

@goodmusic210

Жыл бұрын

Die before you live

Lmao this is such terrible and toxic advice and backed up by zero science. Humans were built too such great heights and success and literally how long we live is directly affected by our social life and friends we maintain when we're older. Prob one of the worst takes I've ever heard him have.

When my friends were hurt from a breakup, I literally didn't care. You can try be empathetic, but it doesn't really change how YOU really feel. Humans are naturally selfish.

That's why I always loved more my guinea pigs than my so called friends

Yes! Just because your friends no longer talk to you because they're busy with Work, Marriage, Kids, doesn't mean they won't help you out in a survival situation.