I don’t know why I am crying. I guess maybe it is because I am afraid to not be accepted if I show my true self to everyone, but at the same time I want joy, love, and authenticity.

@wendybarnes7165

2 жыл бұрын

I'm right there with you. I hope you have found your joy, love and authenticity by now. I see you left this comment two years ago. I'm just now seeing this video for the first time. Eye-opening for sure.

@wendybarnes7165

2 жыл бұрын

@@amyrenee1361 , Me too. I'm in the same boat. I'm going to try though - I am going to try.

@clairef.shepard2776

2 жыл бұрын

Maybe you are crying for all of us who were raised to put up those fake shields that limit us. It's beautiful you're tears. Bless you!

@paulbrunelle1444

2 жыл бұрын

Start by giving all of those attributes to yourself, for yourself. Drop any emotional masks you may have felt were necessary.

@willislee2362

2 жыл бұрын

You are loved, joyous and authentic. Just by this comment.

"We just stay so busy that the truth of our lives can't catch up. That's the plan." Wow, that's the money quote right there. Nailed it, Brené.

@oljenka88

Жыл бұрын

Well it definitely caught up hard on the past few years 😐

@softtrain-1550

Жыл бұрын

I do this on purpose 😶 recently i went and got a second job

Symptoms of shame: - When joy becomes foreboding or suspicious, - Disappointment as a lifestyle, - not wanting to get excited about things for fear of them not happening, - Perfectionism, - Faith - vulnerability=extremism, - Numbing But why are we intolerant of vulnerability? - scarcity mindset - nothing is safe/perfect/extraordinary enough, we‘re meaning less if all that‘s missing, sometimes the ordinary is a blessing (e.g. your family being normally healthy) How do we embrace vulnerability - practice gratitude - honor what‘s ordinary about our lives - play, play, play - nature - love, love, love

@aniketsingh6109

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you ❤️

@auburnsunlight

3 жыл бұрын

Aniket Singh you‘re welcome ☺️

@VivianixonArts

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you

@mikemchugh4354

2 жыл бұрын

Sounds like depression.

@amralaasaleh

2 жыл бұрын

Useful summary, thanks for your help

"We cannot selectively numb the dark experiences."

@cobinizer

4 жыл бұрын

Sure ya can. Drink prodigious amounts of alcohol.

@nishantdalal6637

4 жыл бұрын

That was the best message

@T6451

3 жыл бұрын

That jumped out at me too

13:08: "...you cannot selectively numb emotion...let me tell you, if vulnerability is a sharp edge, there may be nothing sharper than joy." = mindblown 💥

@kieranryan6148

4 жыл бұрын

I guess the joy then ‚when and if it comes‘ makes the calculated decision of going through the insecurity of vulnerability all worth it.

@markdemell8056

4 жыл бұрын

Joy to me is soft; not sharp!

@gaurav3290

Жыл бұрын

Can someone explain those sentence of "Sharp edge" ??

@danherrick5785

Жыл бұрын

@@gaurav3290 Being able to be hurt or affected by someone else is a very vulnerable place to put yourself in. If you allow someone to touch you, it's can be very sharp if they hit you instead. That's the sharp edge of vulnerability. The same thing happens with joy. If you find joy in something, and it gets taken away - it's can be even worse.

vulnerability refers to the willingness to be open and honest about one's feelings and experiences, even if it involves some risk or potential for discomfort. Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen, even when you can't control the outcome. Being vulnerable can involve showing one's weaknesses, fears, and insecurities, as well as expressing emotions and asking for help or support when needed. Vulnerability is not weakness, but rather the most accurate measure of courage. It's the foundation of trust, connection, and innovation. Great discussion on the dangerous impact of losing our tolerance for vulnerability in our culture. The fear of vulnerability causes people to avoid joy, experience disappointment as a lifestyle, disconnect, strive for perfection, and engage in extremism. The scarcity drives our intolerance for vulnerability because we live in a culture that tells us there is never enough and that an ordinary life is meaningless. Vulnerability is not a weakness but rather a strength that allows people to experience joy, love, belonging, creativity, and faith. "We are losing our tolerance for vulnerability." "Vulnerability is absolutely at the core of fear, and anxiety, and shame, and very difficult emotions that we all experience. But vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, of love, of belonging, of creativity, of faith." "One of the symptoms that we're losing our capacity for vulnerability is that joy actually becomes foreboding." "Perfectionism has nothing to do with striving for excellence and healthy-- it's nothing to do with healthy striving. People who I interview who are absolutely accomplished, and people who strive for excellence are the biggest negotiators and compromisers that I've ever interviewed." "Faith minus vulnerability equals extremism." "We live in a culture that tells us that there is never enough." "In this world, somehow, an ordinary life has become synonymous with a meaningless life." "What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful." Nailed it!

Who's grateful that they've heard of Brene Brown? And that she's doing what she does, of course.

Even though she's speaking as a researcher, I find her talks touching.

@outdoormirrorist3404

9 жыл бұрын

Where?

@brigitteellis282

3 жыл бұрын

Always

@reidskyler6646

2 жыл бұрын

instablaster

The dangerous thing is as a society, we are losing our tolerance and capacity to vulnerability.

@jjohnsengraciesmom

4 жыл бұрын

Yep

@mmurray42

3 жыл бұрын

I c iiii

@helen6517

3 жыл бұрын

I don't think society has ever had a tolerance for vulnerability.

Ms. Brown has more wisdom than I can DREAM to have. I love to listen to her on repeat.

@vipermad358

3 жыл бұрын

She’s making a good living, that’s for sure.

@rachelcaldwell330

Жыл бұрын

Who cares what amount of money she is making, she deserves to be making a whole lot as she has done with so many of us that are learning why we are like we are. Namaste Brene 🙏 I feel blessed to have been shown your work in rehab. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and research with US 💗

“We all want to believe that we are not going to get hurt and that bad things are not gonna happen and they are. There is a guarantee that no one talks about and that is If we don’t allow ourselves to experience joy and love we will definitely miss out on filling our reservoirs with what we need when those hard things happen.”

I have discovered the high cost of being invulnerable for the majority of my life. I’m currently cleaning up the wreckage that it left in its wake. Brené Brown has played a part in that process! ❤️ I love this human being !

@septimaserpent

Жыл бұрын

How's That Been Goin' For Ya?

@EssenceOfSage

Жыл бұрын

Some days it feels like a can of worms I should have left alone.

@roukytje

Жыл бұрын

You're doing good. You're feeling. if you close it, what will happen? If you open it, what will happen? If you put your hand in fire, it will burn and hurt you, and you'll pull your hand away. If you think about how burned hand might feel, you'll be stuck in pain and suffer from the thoughts. So, if you can choose to avoid physical pain, why not choose to avoid emotional pain. At least you will not have scarves. Good luck with your choice .Good luck to be just YOU.🌹

Wow! I work as an addiction counselor with active duty military! This is so helpful to present to them! To them, they are taught they being vulnerable is a weakness. I can present this to them as an educational! Thank you Brene' for your dedication to research!

@octopus4925

Жыл бұрын

My dad was military and he was unable to connect with us because he saw vulnerability as weakness for himself and us. It's really sad that they're trained that way

This was so helpful for me. I keep feeling that feeling that I'm missing something and what is missing is the being in the moment by being vulnerable. My stomach is flip flopping just thinking of what that means. That is a good thing. I'm going to hug my sons really hard tonight.

@gaurav3290

Жыл бұрын

Hey, How are you now ??

@septimaserpent

Жыл бұрын

@@gaurav3290 I Wondered/Wanted To Ask The Same! Makes Me Feel Good About The Direction The Collective Consciousness Has Gone In The Past Decade (For The Most Part).

I spent 10 years working in ICU's and numbed my feelings to people's pain so I could do what it took to care for them or at least that's what I thought. It took another 8 years to start really feeling people. I remember the day when i could feel someone else's physical pain as I cared for them, it overwhelmed me it was so intense, and i still struggling with the emotional numbness that is part of medicine today. As she said numbness shuts down the joy in life as well and I miss joy.

@danherrick5785

Жыл бұрын

If you allowed yourself to feel all the pain of your patients - wouldn't that make you sick?

@austingibson3315

2 ай бұрын

My wife got sick and almost died. After years of medical, she finally got back on her feet but during that time I had to numb everything to take care of her and stay functional. Now that she's finally better, I have to figure out how to live again. I can only imagine how you must feel.

This is so true! for the longest time I couldn't watch a man making a fool of himself in a movie. I would just avoid that scene. But it's after listening to Brene, I learned my own tendancy to appear cool always and not let myself experiment and become a fool. It's still a challenge but atleast now I know where to work on!

@tomsmolen4490

4 жыл бұрын

I've avoided those cringe-worthy movie moments as well. Thanks for the verbalization!

@jjohnsengraciesmom

4 жыл бұрын

I think men sometimes make fools of themselves, in movies or in life, to make women laugh. I think that is part of why those movies are popular.

@selenabolton3773

4 жыл бұрын

I have the same experience. I can't watch people sing on the spot because I'm nervous for them. I'm scared they'll mess up and embarrass themselves. It's through your comments that I see now, I was projecting my fear and shame onto them. Thank you for this comment and for being vulnerable enough to share!

@asenase2834

4 жыл бұрын

I never made that connection. Thanks a lot for voicing that insight.

@ninarodriguez8517

2 жыл бұрын

Totally get it! It is safe for you, to be you!

Vulnerability doesn't change who you are It shows your capability for compassion being relatable. Makes you even stronger . One of the best videos ever

Finally someone who sees that striving for the extraordinary is not the only fulfillment one can have in life. Thank you.

Excellent talk, this should be watched by everybody. In addition to what Brené showed, here is how I see vulnerability: Vulnerability is something we all need, because it opens the way in which our true emotions and feelings flow and as humans we cannon't keep them in ourselves. When you are vulnerable you are not thinking about what you are for the outside world but about what you are in you, and thus you break that barrier to release everything that comes right from the heart.

@matthewscopelite5303

6 ай бұрын

That's well said, I do agree, and calls to my mind an image from my Catholic upbringing of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and maybe why there's a barbed-wire like wreath of thorns wrapped around it

This human was brought to my attention years ago… and has inspired me so very much. I’m so grateful she does what she does.

that last bit is so powerful just in itself. when i lost my dad, i didn’t want sympathy or sadness or pity or whatever, i wanted people to tell THEIR parents how much they loved them, it’s perspective and it’s crazy🥹

"In the ordinary moments of our lives is really when we can find the most joy." Wow! I needed to hear that! I'm so weary of all the "live your best life!" b.s.!

@animethics

Жыл бұрын

Nice one

Brené Brown is hands down one of my absolute favorite people on this planet. She is boldly going in to the most important topics... The most important fields for real life.

People avoid talking about it. Well life is the whole package. Dive in, feel, play, eat, sleep🍫🍫

Vulnerability can be both challenging and beautiful. It requires courage to be vulnerable, but it also opens up the possibility for deeper connections and understanding with others. Embracing vulnerability can lead to personal growth and stronger relationships.❤❤❤❤

I repeat again and again, I am vulnerable. I am vulnerable, I am vulnerable, and I am OK with that.

Isn’t being vulnerable just us being authentic? We learn as children that we are authentic and loved or authentic and rejected. That’s why so many of us grow up believing we cannot be authentic and or vulnerable.

I was a nurse for 8 years. I also numbed my feelings and emotions there was no room for sharing it with anybody. There was no other way to keep doing my job than to shut down my feelings. It has resulted, 15 years later, in a breakdown. I've missed joy and trust for a long long time. I never understood what happened to me. And now I know. Thanks...

Great talk. i have been struggling with vulnerability for as long as i can remember, believing it to be weakness. I appreciate this talk.

I am escaping vulnerability because of severe traumatic experiences and I have developed my own coping strategies. No alcohol no drugs but other. I have been running away for years, moving 2000 km away and each time I move I imagine I start a new happy life. But I never worked this through so wherever I go it goes with me...the nightmares, the anxiety, the suffering. I just found out (at the end of this speech) that by doing all those things to "protect" myself, I am unable to feel joy anymore.

THIS WAS AMAZING. Dear god this woman hit the nail on the head for everything.

@bradmcewen

7 жыл бұрын

Suzy Niederland I sure think so ! Amazingl introspection provoking.

Going through life even afraid, but expecting good things based on faith and gratitude is fullfilling. We live in critical times hard to deal with for sure. Brene' articulates so well getting on... having a tight grasp on what's at stake, controlling herself and sharing her insights. Little gems sparkle around her. I am always delighted to hear her. Thank you.

There aren't enough...... videos/podcasts/etc of Brene Brown, presenting her work.

@animethics

Жыл бұрын

Nice one

Absolutely love this, have never thought of this

Yes, yes Thank you beautifully said so grateful!!! 💌

Thank you for this.

Always come back to Dr Brown's research. Love her❤❤❤

I´m thankful for her heartwarming, thought provoking insights.

Love listening to Brenee ALWAYS. I have read all your books and never get bored of watching you - always get me to think so very hard!

I love her and am reading Rising Strong now. Thank you for sharing your passion with others.

Tears at the end. Wish I could like it a million times.

Dr. Brown your a true healer in to many ways to count. Thank you.

Thank you for the very interesting talk. I can relate to that when we repress shame etc we also repress joy. I read somewhere that our safety lies in our vulnerability. Much appreciated.

2020 during covid, I feel so lucky to have come across this.

Omg this is for me ! What a precious gift of education and information for myself. 📦

Brene Brown is SO easy to love! Best Teds ever, thank you!

So grateful to come across this. Going to practice this daily 😘

thank you Brene. i am thankful for You and your beautiful vulnerable research and words. blessings

This was awesome. I did this my whole life and yes, the impact of it is great! I hope a lot of young people see this and apply it to their lives, so they will not have to endure what I, and many others have done throughout ours! Great speaker! Great topic! Awesome!

"honor ordinary.." thank you so much Mrs Brown

Thank you, I am grateful for this wonderful talk.

Love your work! It touches the nerves

this hit home for me in so many ways. i've been taking in a lot of self-help media while trying to sort out the trauma i've been through, but this talk really forced me to break the cognitive dissonance i've been feeling. i really believed in my heart since i was young that vulnerability was meaningful, and i let myself forget that in the face of other people's cruelty and callousness. no more forgetting for me!!! thank you so much for sharing this with us!!

BEAUTIFULLY DONE!!!!! thank you !

Great video! Seeing the value in vulnerability is a big challenge with business clients.

Excellent. Deeply moved and touched.

I seen all that I found by this Amazing Speaker..............She just touches your soul!! BRAVO!!

Loved her every word

This is wonderful. She is so brave. Go Brene!!

This is my favorite of her TED Talks.

Thank you so much Berne Brown for doing this talk. This is one of the truest, most closest to the heart talk I have heard in a long time. We numb vulnerability and most of the time it is project akin to being weak and unable to cope with life. Vulnerability is beautiful cause it exposes us to us and our feelings, connections, and everything that makes us what we are as people. Thank you, for talking about this.

She is an awesome communicator. The symptoms had to ring some bells with viewers.

After listening to two of Brene Brown's talks, she really strikes a chord, I live in the pacific north west, and i am lucky enough to have been exposed to a culture that has taught me to the to hear the music in the struggle of life, the west coast natives are always giving thanks, always honoring the ancestors, through participation and observation I have learned the power of vulnerability, i think they honor and respect it., it is nature.

@kxtcxiox

8 жыл бұрын

I'm located there as well and it's true ☺ amazing what we can learn from our local brothers and sisters

@joys2218

5 жыл бұрын

me too

Thank you - Brilliantly illustrated , it allowed me to consider and begin to accept many things, truly understand why we act up , numb or project onto others poorly. Especially when joy is scarce, another veil of understanding lifted . Wonderfully illustrated .

Simply amazing speech..learnt a lot..thanks !!!

Highly recommended. Thank you, Brene', for sharing your research.

I am grateful for your wisdom, knowledge and this video.

One of the greatest Ted talks ever I have come across. Thank you!

Her research is amazingly beautiful & I get it 💗 Thank you

Very true.. I just hope people like her or anyone in a financially secure situation can understand and empathize with the ones that aren't so lucky.

I absolutely love you! Thank you for being vulnerable enough to put yourself out there ! Your knowledge and research is much appreciated ! Thank you for sharing !

wonderful video, great subject, fantastic delivery love her 😙

Awesome Ted talk by my new favorite person/Doctor to follow! Really informative and helpful information about what causes people to act the way they do. Inspirational to say the least!

Good topic... Thank you, with love and understanding : 🐣.

Thank you. This was awesome!

So grateful for stumbling upon this talk❤

Goddess! Thank you Brene! You are amazing!! You changed my life for the BETTER!

Thanks Brene!!!

This woman is so me. I love it

So awsome being real raw transparency when some else gets it this is great LOVE HER

What a blessing 🙏 ✨ I happened to stumble upon this on Christmas eve 2020 🎄 that's how she started this. A sign for sure. Thank you. Have been in therapy with a wonderful therapist for 14 years and I have come soo far because I'm committed to self love and working through my difficulties.

I am grateful to have found you and your books! ~ Thank you~ 😍💋❤

Brene is great and so funny! I love listening to her.

Love her teaching open my world and thank you :) Kia Ora! from N.Z

“Practice gratitude. Honor what’s ordinary in our lives because that is what’s truly extraordinary. “❤️🙏🏼

I finally softened and loved someone, faced vulnerability, and expressed it to that person. Blew up in my face and lost the person. Ughhhh. Goodness I lost joy... but trying to find gratitude in the situation. 😥❤️

life-changing, brimming with truth & softness 💗😍❤

this conversation was important for all in all our lives..

I have only just discovered Brene, but I think she is a wonderful speaker in her simplicity.

13:55 Great 'practice gratitude' section. Also 'filling the resevoir,' at 15:25.

What a moving and meaningful talk. This really spoke to me. I hope for the acceptance and willingness to embrace my vulnerability and suffering so I can know true joy.

Brené - you are my hero. Wow. THANK YOU.

thanks for great talk.i liked this very much.keep going

Love this lady and her words

her speaking events feel like something that come from angle offing perspective on something I didn't know I needed.

Thank you thank you thank you Brene for the clarity and compassion in shedding light on our numbing culture which is robbing us of love & joy when we so much to be grateful for. God bless you & your work💜

Thank you Brene...A sane voice amongst the madness....the work you are doing is brilliant :)

thank you this is a super cool message

I love her talks, but this is definitely the best one! I cried at the end. She really nails it on the head. My husband and I have been going through a crisis. He doesn't look into this kind of thing on his own. And part of the problem has been that he was no longer paying attention to anything I was about, therefore missing my attempts at self-help. It seems I'm always looking into self-help stuff, but not really getting anywhere. But today I asked him to listen to another of Brene's talks. One that didn't hit home in the first half; the one given at an artists' (?) conference. He did listen to all of it. And now THIS is the one thing, before anything else, I want him to listen to. I've already glimpsed into my own issues and he is just beginning. I truly believe this one talk will be the one to certainly put him on the path to healing himself, while I continue the same path, and then I believe we will be healing our relationship at the same time - to a degree. But we will be on the right path to finishing the work and being truly happy and content together. Thank you so much Brene. You are a gift!

@SR-mv2mf

6 жыл бұрын

Gena Howe wow.. how's it going now?, is your husband on board?

@vikinggeorge7007

2 жыл бұрын

Well, did it put him?

@genahowe4206

2 жыл бұрын

@@SR-mv2mf He wasn't really ready when I wrote this as it turns out. I think finally now, he will be more receptive.

@genahowe4206

2 жыл бұрын

@@vikinggeorge7007 Not then, but it's likely now. He had too much else on his mind and he's one of those who absolutely cannot think about more than one thing at a time. THings are much better, but still need work. We'll see. I'll have to listen again myself. We ALL can get lost too deeply in everyday stuff and need wake up calls.

@vikinggeorge7007

2 жыл бұрын

@@genahowe4206 Would you like me to talk to him if that would do any good? I have experience in helping people.

Yes, everyone should learn about shame, discuss it, and thus overcome it. Her talks and her book "I thought it was just me (but it isn't)" are slowly helping me realize that I need to embrace vulnerability, and helping me accept the fact that one day this will happen (yeah, it's gonna take a while to really get it, and apply it). It's very educating and helps me change for the better. Thanks for sharing!