I am a former bartender and I can assure you that by 2am you become a Wild Life Officer.

@StrangeScaryNewEngland

3 жыл бұрын

Bartender by night, Fish & Game by morning

@ashleytrueblood2200

3 жыл бұрын

Amen!!!

@althausz1

2 жыл бұрын

What’s a wild life officer

@robertreisner6119

2 жыл бұрын

They are from the Forrest Division to protect wild life in the wilderness. You may find simular situation in bars after 2am.

@seanmorelli2510

2 жыл бұрын

Lol....yes I am as well and you said it perfectly :) lol the worst is ur slammed and they have waited for awhile til u get to them and then they stand there not sure what they want?? Just sorta going hmmmm let me see??? I'm like seriously after all that time u still don't know?? Like when i bartended at night clubs in las vegas people there r clueless..then they bitch ab the prices!! Yeah they r insane but it's like that at every club I don't make the prices!!! They come back and same thing all over again.

The transitions between his jokes are so brilliant. It’s like a well written essay.

@whoever_81

4 жыл бұрын

Indeed he is obviously a great comedy writer

@jessicasmith7102

4 жыл бұрын

LMAO

@lorrie2878

4 жыл бұрын

@@whoever_81 His wife writes with him.

@hugh-johnfleming289

4 жыл бұрын

He listens...

@luxuryfox99

3 жыл бұрын

Perfect description

He's really a comedic genius though😁😂

‘No ones ever drank a shot and done something they’re proud of.’ ‘Ahhh- I got wasted last night and then went out and *planted an acre of Kale* .’ Be well, stay kind and blessings to all~ 🙏🏼

I can never get over that "He was standing where I wanted to stand" line

Jim is crucial in our country's sanity during this tumultuous time. Taking some time for gut laughter is an important reprieve.

Watching his old stuff and seeing how he has matured as a comedian is amazing!!! His timing and polish have gotten to the point of perfection. The way he has incorporated that silly woman like voice that he pretends are comments from a person listening to his performance is priceless.....when he started doing it I thought it was funny but now he has perfected it to the point it's sorta his trademark thing and I totally look forward to him doing it everytime and what he will come up with each time :)

Jim is a Master at storytelling, ... effortless 🤩

Yep. Bartender for nearly 17yrs. Always said it was like dealing with a bunch of drunk toddlers 👏 Don't miss it one bit 😅

This is one if my all-time favorite Jim Gaffigan segments. It still cracks me up every time I see it. Sooooo many truths. Brilliant, hysterical, and masterfully delivered. 👏👏👏👏👏👏😎😎😎

Jim Gaffigan stand up comedy is the best part about being alive.

Jim after hearing how sad robin Williams was i am worried about your happiness. You seem really happy and well balanced. I hope you are, because it would hurt to think you give us all the joy you do if your not happy. I wish I could say that to robin. Can’t help but wonder and I know you read these. Thanks for the joy you bring others bro. Best to you and yours.

Brilliant. Jim does it all without the "f" word. Imagine that!

Jim is flippin hilarious!🤣😂❤️

I'm going to see Jim in Sugar Land, TX next month. I can't wait!!

Gaffigan and Brian Regan are the kings of clean comedy! If they toured together I'm pretty sure it would tear a hole in the space time continuum

I think I’ve watched it five or six times and it’s STILL too funny. Jimmy the comedic genius!!

Just love you. You always make me laugh.

I think it's crazy that this comedic genius even gets one thumbs down. This video has 780. I guess it just goes to show there are trolls standing by at all times to do stupid and destructive things.

One of the funniest guys in Comedy.

"I like the lines..." 😂😂😂

In places like Europe and Asia, people in bars are interested in meeting new people. But in my experience in Canada (mostly Toronto), you go to a bar with your friends, and have expensive drinks only with your friends, then leave and go home. What's the point of the bar? Who needs to spend $50++ to have four beers and half a plate of nachos if you're not even going to talk to new people?

You look at the people who have gotten the a Mark Twain prize for humor and then there’s Jim Gaffigan... The moral of this story...some awards are just given to be given. Jim Deserves.

Very hilarious routine.

Brilliant 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Brilliant!

Love him! He’s hilarious!

“She was my best frieeennnndd, but not anymoooorrre.” - Over half of all drunk people in any bar ever.

Lol Jim is the best

Brilliant.

Best one!

Look at that guy! He's wasted... in a bar. I came here to read a novel.

He's my favorite 😂😂😂

Perfectly genius

0:43, Talk about experiences changing. With COVID-19, it's changed so drastically. You technically go to a bar acknowledging that you may end up getting the coronavirus. If the alcohol doesn't kill you, the virus will. 🤦‍♂️😢

I don't know how this guy can kill it every time he comes out with a new special. He's like double jointed funny.

@hd-xc2lz

5 жыл бұрын

His writing partner/wife is due some recognition.

@bnaevans

5 жыл бұрын

She's a Jeannie in a bottle. She (along with Jim) grants our comedy wishes! 🧞‍♂️🍾🧞‍♀️🍾

@richardpatterson4312

5 жыл бұрын

Did I write this?

@nextlevelbjj3083

5 жыл бұрын

I think only people who drink alcohol like him

@mikeymcmikeface5599

4 жыл бұрын

Huh? This is the least funny comedian I have ever seen.

Jim is one of the best comedians because he tells great, relatable jokes without cursing his way thru them!! He's so underrated. Keep 'em rolling!

@Ericadbury

5 жыл бұрын

The greatest are underrated. In the case of comedians, the clean ones are very underrated. See Brian Regan. And they've been around for a while.

@branon6565

5 жыл бұрын

proud2BaNurse....oh for fucks sake, where do you wussies come from? How do you survive on this planet? Cuz everyone who's normal knows you can't trust an adult who doesn't fucking cuss, cuz they're either hidin somethin or a batshit crazy religious whackjob.....

@TulsaDude

4 жыл бұрын

@@branon6565 how's Mr. Hankey's working out for ya? does it hurt?

@mikeymcmikeface5599

4 жыл бұрын

No, he's not.

@cirrusfox8052

4 жыл бұрын

Who gives a shit whether or not they cuss. "you can be funny without cursing" Well no shit Sherlock, what's your next case? You can be angry without cursing? Just because a comedian curses doesn't mean he's funny, on the flip side just because a comedian doesn't cuss don't mean he can't be funny. Comedy is subjective and is different to everyone, it doesn't matter if a comedian curses or not. If he is funny then people will watch him.

"I got wasted last night and built some low income housing" im dead 😂

@Ragnarok6664

4 жыл бұрын

Id help out, but I’m sober at the moment

"He was standing where I wanted to stand, so I punched him in the head" I'm dead 🤣🤣

@mikestat6206

4 жыл бұрын

Ur aids

"This'll cure my normal behaviour" is so much gold. Jim you're one of the greatest, wish you would do more stand-up!

Truth hurts except when Jim Gaffigan tells it!

@laraoneal7284

4 жыл бұрын

Harley Deuce Exactly my stomach kills everytime listening to Jim. He kills me everytime.

His delivery is great

"I need a new identity. Maybe two of them." 😁

@Kariegoz

5 жыл бұрын

Become born again and receive a new identity in Christ!

@caru3257

4 жыл бұрын

@@Kariegoz you owe me a cup of coffee. LOL.

It always cracks me up when he speaks as someone else. 😂😂😂

@fivestring65ify

5 жыл бұрын

That's his ace.

@Darkpassenger773

4 жыл бұрын

Damn

@laraoneal7284

4 жыл бұрын

Yea that’s the critic sitting in the audience.

@billwronski2415

4 жыл бұрын

He 'borrowed' that from Louie Anderson.

@whackamolechamp

4 жыл бұрын

I love when anyone does it

Everything he says about shots is absolutely true. Have you ever noticed the faces people make after they 'take' their shot?

@Mary_O

5 жыл бұрын

He's right about the faces of everyone who has put a shot in front of me. I'm 5'2" and most of my drinking years I was hovering around 100 lbs. I HAD to reject their crocheted sweaters.

@1purplerose

5 жыл бұрын

I like "giving" shots, but it's a different kind! LOL!

@michaellefort6128

4 жыл бұрын

My Dad used to say, *If you would start every day, with a shot of whiskey. You could be sure that nothing worse, would happen to you, today."

@RackedandStacked

4 жыл бұрын

@@michaellefort6128 dank saying 😂

You can't tell where one joke ends and the other begins. He's fluid funny.

Im a bartender and he is a million percent right! Lol

@mrknarf4438

5 жыл бұрын

Scarlet Spyder As a fellow bartender, can confirm

@chessmentor63

5 жыл бұрын

Is one million percent right the same as two million proof right?

@shilpvaishnav

5 жыл бұрын

@@chessmentor63 lmao

@bentleytheartist1717

5 жыл бұрын

Scarlet Spyder How’s it like

@mmonty6862

5 жыл бұрын

I'd kill my self if had had to listen to a bunch of drunken pigs at 2 am every day

"I need more juice!"

@jja1483

4 жыл бұрын

MasterQ 19 🍻😭😂

Why doesn't he just legally change his name to Laffagain????

@IKamiZz

5 жыл бұрын

probably wants to keep his family name

@susanbradigan4692

5 жыл бұрын

@@IKamiZz well that makes sense......JJ ✌

@PaleGhost69

4 жыл бұрын

He doesn't need to change it. He can just use it as the name for a Special

@sbounty3

4 жыл бұрын

Have you thought about a career in stand up??

@ocorley4646

4 жыл бұрын

😲😲😲

No one ever drank a shot and done something they are proud of.... #truth

@josephmcadams1612

5 жыл бұрын

Your mom did, but I don't understand why she is proud of you.

@swill1020

5 жыл бұрын

Hunter holman ... congrats on becoming the anti panty dropper. I can’t think of a time your question would cross my mind on a KZread comment.

@viljamtheninja

5 жыл бұрын

I once drank a shot of whiskey, and then I drank more shots, until I had finished a whole fifth of whiskey in the form of multiple shots. I'm proud of that.

@viljamtheninja

4 жыл бұрын

@first last Not to mention the fact that many of the worlds greatest authors were also very heavy drinkers.

@catherines2421

4 жыл бұрын

Denise McGeachy drank a shot and then did something...

“I kam here to read a novel” too funny.

Jim, I appreciate you soooo much! You make me just belly laugh constantly and forget everything painful. You're just awesome. Thank you for all the laughter! (I'm a very serious minded introvert who, um, rarely laughs at anything. But you get me EVERY TIME!)

TALENT with no vulgarity. Genius ! as usual

@milesmcquerrey2836

5 жыл бұрын

Fuck yeah!

@jadenrobert2447

5 жыл бұрын

Miles McQuerrey I fucking agree

@bacht4799

5 жыл бұрын

That’s was so brilliant about him .. it is so easy to curse like a sailor after a heartbreak on the sea but being clean and still funny.. now that’s is awesome.. which is why more cartoons for kids and young people deserve more respect.. but that’s another thing in itself..

@viljamtheninja

5 жыл бұрын

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with being vulgar. I curse a lot in my everyday life. That's just how I speak. But there's nothing inherently funny about it either. Plenty of comedians replace clever writing and actual good jokes with stuff that is just shocking and vulgar on its own, and get by on that instinctive gut reaction in the audience to cover up the fact that they're not that good comedians. It's the equivalent of jump scares in horror; a cheap, momentary, startling effect rather than an intelligent, well-written scare that'll stick with you. Vulgar comedians can be funny, but not because of their vulgarity.

@daniellin1726

4 жыл бұрын

viljamtheninja Very well said.

Any other comedian and these stories would be decent. It's the delivery, the dynamic range of voices and sounds. He's like an instrument of insanity played by God's hippy cousin.

@JEiowan

4 жыл бұрын

JimElford -I so agree and I like your imagery....🙏🏽✨💖✨

Such an underrated comedian! 😭💕

I will never understand why people thumbs down things that aren't offensive. Jim is one of the few clean comics that still manages to be hilarious

@codrinn9999

5 жыл бұрын

You are gay

@pla6ue

5 жыл бұрын

@@codrinn9999 That's what your Dad keeps telling me at least.

@timmmahhhh

5 жыл бұрын

Because some humans just outright suck as this vod neki tool confirms.

@watchingyou7219

5 жыл бұрын

@@codrinn9999 Junior high school jerks are not allowed in the grown-up section.

@mike74h

5 жыл бұрын

Holding their phones upside down

😂😂😂 I tended for 5 years...that was thirty five years ago...my ears are still ringing from all the shouting and loud music. But at least I don't need therapy anymore...😂😂😂

@garyschmidt7320

5 жыл бұрын

Me too. Worked on Wed., Fri. and Sat. night. Ears still ringing Thurs. and Monday.

I'm going to see this guy in 2 days, very excited

@Mary_O

5 жыл бұрын

Cody - You're going to have "breathing problems." 🤣 Bring your inhaler.

@haranguemeringue8957

5 жыл бұрын

Cody G02 He’s even funnier during live shows, as he’ll often tailor his set to the location where he is by tossing in a couple extra jokes here & there. Seamlessly & hilariously, of course. 😁 Enjoy his show! 😁

@Death2Progressives

5 жыл бұрын

mississippi?

@codyg0225

5 жыл бұрын

@@Death2Progressives yep

@Death2Progressives

5 жыл бұрын

i stay in clinton, so been hearing the adverts for awhile. have fun bro

Saw Jim perform last Friday. Was hilarious.

I was a bar back. He's right.

"this will cure my normal behavior" laugh because it's funny, cry because it's true lol

Lol i only clicked on this b/c of the title and I am lmao-ing to the point of tears. I’ve never watched Jim gaffigan but I’m gonna change that now lol

That barback bit was pretty gold

Some random dude bought me a shot of jack on my 21st. And then he asked why I was still drinking

That's the most honest depiction of my alcoholism ever.

I'm going to start buying people jalapeno poppers! We need more jalapeno poppers in the world.

@barb7124

5 жыл бұрын

Bless you

@diveinstructordaniel1095

4 жыл бұрын

Emily Richter i don’t know what it is but I want it now

@a.sweetpeac.2281

4 жыл бұрын

Sounds tasty, & spicy! 🌶

@sarahgraves6759

4 жыл бұрын

I miss the smoked brisket jalapeño poppers I used to make.

Thank you for talking, I can now cross that off my bucket list Bless you

"Gimme a double shot of tequila." Now them's fightin' words!

The crowded bar bit is so very accurate

He's one of my favorites; ALWAYS good for down-to-earth laugh !!!

@bradychick6535

4 жыл бұрын

Mine 2😎

He does it without being Vulgar as well.....tough feat

@milesmcquerrey2836

5 жыл бұрын

Fuck yeah!

@22fordfx49

4 жыл бұрын

@@dezzahayes6492 Why is that? Farage is the only hope for Britain you fool

@dezzahayes6492

4 жыл бұрын

22fordfx4 you know that’s not actually him don’t you?

@22fordfx49

4 жыл бұрын

@@dezzahayes6492 Ahh no shit. Go live in London with your multiculturalism and crime. Oh wait I'm sure you live in the white part of town. Farage is the only sane politician in the UK that's willing to stop this insanity

@nigelfarage4119

4 жыл бұрын

Its too bad there aren't evolution arbiters with guns for some of these cunts commenting.

The only time I consumed shots like that was while my grandmother was in hospice, and though it did end in falling down and other drunken behaviours, turns out my grandma could really party back in the day to the point of needing my granddad to bring her home in a wheelbarrow one Xmas. So it was a fitting sendoff. Love you Grandma.

@patriciahoequist-breeze7036

4 жыл бұрын

When my grandmother was at home with end of life care with hospice, she wanted me to make us margaritas. We sat up looking out the picture window drinking them and having a nice talk. Sounds like our grandmas wanted some fun!

Jim is the best comic in the world. Naturally funny with out filthy talk or more importantly NO POLITICS!!

My mother laughed her ass off yesterday. Thanks Jim for the comedy gold!

A new fan here! What some refreshing talent! Funny all the way through!

This KZread clip will cure my normal behavior…

@TightMoneyGripp813

5 жыл бұрын

😎🍻

@JenLovesBenz

5 жыл бұрын

I'm going to go punch the wall.

“But handing you a beer, not yet”😂😂😂

“I need more juice”

I don't spend time in bars, but I spend a lot of time around toddlers... Spot on!😂🤣

Hotpockets! I always do a,bad impression of him ! People don't always get it, but he's a gift that keeps on giving, ( for me)!!!!!!

I have a breathing problems when I watch Gaffigan.

@lynnturman8157

5 жыл бұрын

and a plural agreement problem

@heyyou9693

5 жыл бұрын

@@lynnturman8157 well says. I would have corrected myself to.

@lynnturman8157

5 жыл бұрын

@@heyyou9693 LOL...great reply

4 жыл бұрын

Hey You 96 apparently not. You misspelled too.

Jim is a great comedian and performer. One of his phrases, "self-awareness disarms the audience" has stuck with me for so long. It has been golden. Thank you; you are fucking funny while being clever.

Omg the comparison is so on point.. exactly my thoughts when working in "a restaurant" that mostly had drunk customers bitching about their past..I felt I was trapped in kindergarden😂

I think he's a truly what a comedian should be. I think the one's who swear can't be funny on their own. Don Rickles comes to mind. I'm not sure if he ever sweared, but I thought he was great. I saw him around 1980 in Chicago. Loved him on Carson. I bet Carson would've loved Jim🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💯

You know there’re people that enjoy crushing crowds, like packed bars, subways and dance floors, and attend those venues just for that.

@ang_ro

5 жыл бұрын

Those people are definitely not my kinda people. Weird.

@jarredjones3358

5 жыл бұрын

I could see it. I like going to really shitty bars and staying at shitty hotels. Don't know why, but something about a dingy seedy bar just makes me happy. One thing good about a shitty bar is that the bottled domestic beer (read: Miller, Budweiser, or Coors) is always cryogenic-level cold.

@preciousmetalhead5155

5 жыл бұрын

On the off chance a pretty girl rubs against your nether regions, crowds can have their upside too.

@theguaable

5 жыл бұрын

I always attend subway venues for the crowds... or to get a train.

I think what truly shows Gaffigan's talent is that I don't know why I'm laughing. These are normal ass jokes that anybody could tell, and if anybody else was telling them, I wouldn't laugh. But there's something about him...

@jasonlove1380

4 жыл бұрын

Joe Lettermen It’s all about the tone you talk In and the delivery of the joke.

He is underrated.

@parryyotter

3 жыл бұрын

He had a TV show and has done like 7 specials. He’s definitely not underrated.

I saw him in concert and I laughed so much my face and sides hurt. So so funny. Real life funny!!

The only thing I like about being alive is knowing that fact will eventually end.

@nootnoot630

4 жыл бұрын

hey buddy, you aight?

@dabossman5650

4 жыл бұрын

yarg nad O

@rs72098

4 жыл бұрын

That was dark...

Don't eat popcorn after a night of drinking, hurts a lot to throw it up fyi

Thank you SO MUCH for making me laugh!

So true....so funny....LOVE Jim Gaffigan!

This guy manages to make you laugh without cussing that's his trademark (and he is not boring)

What he said about barbacks hit true for me, I've been the barback in so many of those situations

"He was standing where I wanted to stayyuund...so I punched him in tha head" 🤣

I used to play in a bar band and I've seen all of what he's talking about. I miss playing in a band, but I don't miss the bar scene at all.

@tommy3763

5 жыл бұрын

Does everybody act like a child? Did the gig pay well?

@winecrimesfoodandtime7119

4 жыл бұрын

Me either

Let’s get right to the embarrassing part of the night.

I saw Jim at Caroline's Comedy Club in NYC many years ago. At the time, I didn't know who he was. After seeing Jim's comedy routine that night, I have been a fan ever since and have purchased many of his comedy DVDs. "Hot Pockets."

Saw Jim in Champaign, IL last week...he's so good.

Always hilarious. Love it! His honesty is awesome. I get it.