That's right, Manis. Marriages fail because we fall in love with our idea of each other rather than the reality of each other.

@piamoltzau4382

Жыл бұрын

man is but how do you want to know someone's reality?

@Shir_Hadash

Жыл бұрын

@@piamoltzau4382 yes, I do. How? By really listening.

@piamoltzau4382

Жыл бұрын

@@Shir_Hadash can you explain this to me please? I really don't understand what you mean? Do you listen to a conversation or what does that mean?

@Shir_Hadash

Жыл бұрын

@@piamoltzau4382 No, it means listening to _everything_ and trying to put it in my own words. "What is she really trying to tell me? How does it all fit together?" It means asking questions and giving my impression and seeing what resonates. Being engaged in her reality.

@piamoltzau4382

Жыл бұрын

@@Shir_Hadash It's a shame that we'll never have personal contact with each other and that we'll be able to talk about it😔 it sounds like you're a good man then maybe I would understand better

As I get older, I have learned that a solid relationship gets along, because they don't take things way too seriously. They understand each other because they are made of the same; their voices, their life experiences, almost the same. That makes them forgive each other, and stay there, next to each other, in the darkest hours as if the pain of one is the pain of the other.

@camillabartlett9128

6 ай бұрын

That’s what they call soul mates or twin flame 🔥

My husband married a part of me. I married the person. Thank you for this message. I felt a deep connection to him. He married me for attraction. We are now separated. I hurt so much knowing he chose not to see me as his soulmate. I think God needs to be a part of that marriage. God brought us together, but my husband just couldn't see it.

@lisacranmer8005

5 ай бұрын

😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

@john1247thedog

5 ай бұрын

I married because , ... We did something shameful. It is the classical fig leaf. We didn't get along for 38 years. I know now, just don't do the shameful thing with an acquaintance. I learned a helluvalot about being alone. I learned to not be lonely. I learned to love someone first. Take care and that soulmate will come along.

I'm a Christian and I love to listen this wonderfully wise Rabbi.

What a beautiful distinction! ❤❤❤

@JohnJames-kv2gy

2 ай бұрын

That's the right man or right woman that will make you happy 😊

Thank you for our daily dose of truth in marriage, Rabbi Friedman.

People are following checklists. And it’s ultimately not love but selfish gain.

@yemisiaderuku2902

Жыл бұрын

I think the main idea of a check/love list is to become it, to attract it I hope it's clear

@ronheiland6250

Жыл бұрын

Your subconscious is also following a checklist. Trying to recreate this “love” you experienced growing up. You emulated the one good parent or the better of the two. Now the other…they gave you abandonment/abuse issues. You can’t seem to be able to reconcile with this person, so your subconscious picks that same person again in another. Reconcile with that. Your highly attracted to this person, hormones are thumping. It made a match. You get married figure out they got some issues and try to change this person. Your not alone she trying too. You both get a divorce, externalize this abandonment and how they failed you into a dog and wait for that to die. In the meantime ya bored so you try again. The divorces and doggies keep piling up. 🤔 New checklist. Ignore your hormones, check. Focus on the heart and mind first, check. Figure out who you emulated, who you are, check. Look at who they emulated, check. Are all four y’all psychologically the same, yes…good, check. 🤔 Hold up. That means I’m living with someone like me. Yup. I can’t stand me. Go to therapy till you do, check. Cause if you can’t stand and love you, you can’t love nobody else. Return doggies to SPCA, check. Now live your best life, double check with exclamation points.

@reck0n3r

10 ай бұрын

Bingo

Yes I love my husband. My FIL asked why. I couldn't answer because I jusy love him. There's no specific, just when I am with him I feel peace and warmth (hard to describe). Even when we are angry at each other. I can never be angry for too long. 😅

@observingfromafrica889

Жыл бұрын

There's always a reason to love. At times it feels so perfect the reasons eludes our consciousness. The question is how do you separate ones values from his personality??

@misschriss6874

Жыл бұрын

Same, Holly. We have been married sixteen years, and I think back to our dating years. I didn’t think I could love him anymore than I did then, but gosh I do. He’s a wonderful person in general, and seeing him as a father, it has brought tears to my eyes. I truly adore him.

@hollysmith1347

Жыл бұрын

@@observingfromafrica889 So someone could be outgoing but Idk want the death penalty for criminals. Whilst another person is also outgoing but is against the death penalty. Same personality but different values? Is that what you meant? Or do you mean what value system/ranking for personality traits? Violent, abusive, selfish, irresponsible personality traits would rank low. While caring, attentive, calm, reliable would rank higher for me. So it would depend on each person.

@Portia620

Жыл бұрын

I feel peace with certain people.

@nanapoku5259

6 ай бұрын

​@@observingfromafrica889Great question there!

This is deep for me personally.

@stacygillies812

7 ай бұрын

Hi

A true soul mate is not easy to find

@pipi8847

5 ай бұрын

You will find it when not expected, meanwhile work on yourself to be prepared for that person when they come....don't force it.

@oAgL214

3 ай бұрын

Not easy but not impossible. Most important step is respecting yourself, that way you won't allow disrespect towards you which will allow you to narrow that "not easy" list.

@Kiki-yw9kc

3 ай бұрын

Unfortunately they are the one that we cannot have

Rabbi, I just love your lessons! You have just described my marriage to a man who honored me, who loved me, who treasured me despite all my defects. Before he died, I would like to think, that I acted likewise towards him, by honoring what this blessed union should be. He did think so, which comforts my heart and which brings memories that I shall treasure to the end of my days. When I learn someone is getting married, I tell him or her that it is my wish that he will have the experience I had with my beloved, wonderful husband who lives like a flame that doesn’t burn, inside of my heart. I love him, so much. He was a present from our Eternal Father, to me.

@KaarinaKimdaly

8 ай бұрын

Beautifully spoken.

Agreed, my late hubby was definitely meant for me, and I him. Took 30+ years for HIM to realize it but I knew 30+ years ago he was my person!

@gracebressi8622

Жыл бұрын

It shouldn’t take A man 30 years to realize you were the one it sounds like you were more in Love with him Then he was with you and he kind of just settled! And so did you

@terralynnpash2510

Жыл бұрын

@@gracebressi8622 I beg a differ, we had age differences also. And no I did not settle and neither did he. He said I was the most loyal and loving wife.

@noreason8818

Жыл бұрын

​@@terralynnpash2510 I'm happy for you darling ❤

@giselatrevino2507

Жыл бұрын

@Femto why so? I thought both had to be equally in love.

@realmaureenoyakhilome

Жыл бұрын

@Femto not everyone. Some people know how to receive and give love.

But marriage is still a choice! And you can still choose to make it work. I know couples who raised amazing families and spent their entire lives together, yet will admit to having had their doubts and fears along the way. They had their seven-year itch periods... but that choice and the vow and the well-being of their children meant more to them than selfish desires. If you've lost that spark, it can be reignited. Don't give up!

@rosameijering5161

Жыл бұрын

Yes but you should still be willing to see the true person and not the person you whished him/her to be

I’ve seen two of your shorts, and subscribed. I may be a Gentile, but I know wisdom when I hear it.

Truly a sensible soul who makes complex decisions about life into simple words that are real and meaningful to the present and future generations. I get much from paying attention to wisdom that I wish could have come sooner to me.

@santamara

Жыл бұрын

Better late than never.. 🤔 Learning is a life long ability.!

Beautifully spoken truth. Doesn’t this completely destroy the idea of dating apps with nothing but looks and checklists?

This is such a good point. Makes me feel a bit better. There's not much to me so hopefully someone will be with me literally for me as I have a very small circle and little family now. Some times people with less can give you more ❤

Of course you marry someone for something about him/her, for example kindness. If they become abusive later, you don’t suck it up, you dump them!

I always tell people that your morals better align, or your marriage is doomed.

This a truth that many people do not think about. Thank you Rabbi.

@AngelaJohn-yd6fw

6 ай бұрын

Hello pretty

We are two kind natured ppl who got together bc we were both ill & needed someone in life, as everyone does. But having chronic illness puts you in a different situation. You become dependent on each other & mayb not be the most compatible but were too tired to go out looking for the one. And "the one", never came along by 50 years old so..we do our best.

A Person is Someone Not Something.

@lisacranmer8005

5 ай бұрын

😢😢

@sgttim8617

3 ай бұрын

That Mostly DEPENDS Onthe " General- Character" of the One who's Making that Assessment !

Two rough stones..they grow to trust each other by rubbing off of the rough edges..

@camillabartlett9128

6 ай бұрын

And become harmonious with our mortar to bind Just the blending of twin flame

Amazing, this guy's clarity can change your observations of life

I asked God for a husband and he gave me one. Only married six months now... the good is great, the bad is hard...😳😐😆😃. But we always know God put us together for this time, just as we were born for this time. In God I trust and have faith. Thank you for your wisdom, rabbi! Shalom.

It’s always sad when people ask each other why do you love me and the answer is a list. Why can’t it be when people ask each other why do you love me the answer is because I just love your soul. But people do fell in love because the other person have something they want or need that the other lack.

@nanapoku5259

6 ай бұрын

You couldn't have described it any better than this. Happy Friday to you!

@camillabartlett9128

3 ай бұрын

@@nanapoku5259 That the best answer I’ve read No one is a shopping list God is the Devine chooser For better or worst We go that path for whatever reason May you all find peace and happiness on your journey

Thank you Rabbi for giving wisdom about marriage

Ahem.... The Trouble with World is that nobody is Loved..."People are Created to be Loved. Things are Created to be Used. But, due to all the Chaos in the World, Things are Being Loved, and People are Being Used.?

@rhythmrhythm519

Жыл бұрын

True

This is not easy to understand and accept for maximum out there sir .. Thankyou so much

Sometimes after long years of being married you discover the soulmate in the person you have been married to.

You can't have a soul mate if they are a narcissist without a soul.

@reck0n3r

10 ай бұрын

Thats something people are supposed to figure out before they get married. That's the point of dating and getting to know someone. It's not quite buying a chocolate bar, yet that's how a lot of people treat it. If people are that shallow in getting to know others and assessing whether or not the other person is a good partner - it's no one else's fault. But we're still an infantile species learning about personal responsibility.

@llbailey9946

8 ай бұрын

​@@reck0n3rthat's unfair. Narcissists are love bombing master manipulators

@reck0n3r

8 ай бұрын

@@llbailey9946 Yes, I know first hand from multiple experiences how manipulative they can be. Guess what I never did though? Marry them. People have to know better than to see themselves as helpless victims who are forced to go along with the ride. And if they can't muster up the backbone to leave, then it becomes a willing master-slave relationship.

Marrying my funny, intelligent and sweet husband is by far the best decision I've ever made.

I always said my husband loved me but he didn't like me, I always liked him but stopped loving him because he didn't actually like me and I would rather be liked than loved...we separated last year 😢

Thank you rabbi for staying this far. Bless you and your family always.

I fall Deeper in love with my husband each year that passes . And I feel that’s how it’s supposed to be.

@bnine6669

Жыл бұрын

That’s exactly how I feel about my wife ❤ I wish more people would take choosing their spouse a little more serious.

@susanfisher3655

Жыл бұрын

You're lucky and blessed.

@shyprincess17

Жыл бұрын

I feel the same with my husband

@sulusu4812

Жыл бұрын

You'll know it.

@samantha4713

Жыл бұрын

Cause you got beautiful love❤enjoyed the blessing🌷

Well, I think it is a reason why I can't really tell why I love a particular person. I love him/her. Period.

This is something most dont know these days because their parents dont teach them. Thank you, god bless you

@rosameijering5161

Жыл бұрын

That is true parents fail to teach that is why a child should have more people in his/her life to teach

Amen. I'm not married but going on 7 years together, and I wouldn't change a thing.

SIR' RABBI MANIS FRIEDMAN, THANK YOU FOR THE WISDOM YOU SHARE WITH THE WORLD EVERYDAY!!! I ESPECIALLY APPRECIATE YOUR PRAYERS BESTOWED UPON ME!!! I CAN FEEL A CHANGE IN MY SYNERGY!!! 😎🙏👀👀🙏❤️🤍💙🇺🇸 MAY GOD BLESS THE PEOPLE OF ISRAEL THE REAL CHOSEN ONES!!!!

Profound..God bless him. Sometimes we’re so vain

Dear Rabbi, thank you for your very insightful and extremely useful views. It really helps me to see some things more clearly about my relationship, about our marriage.

You want to get along with your spouse you must get along with your Creator

@Freetoughts

Жыл бұрын

Very true

@_Val1312_

Жыл бұрын

What creator lmfao

@liewcheng6664

Жыл бұрын

@@_Val1312_ you know not? He knows you in and out, every thoughts. You know where His throne? On the Cross.

@GrnXnham

Жыл бұрын

My parents?

@Mary-io1mb

Жыл бұрын

@Liew Cheng. Amen. Well said. Many folks do not know the creator. Hence the problem.

We got along great. We worked We played, we raised our two kids. Then after 40 years she decided to cheat. With a long time family friend. Made them both pack up her shit and live at his house.

@curiositeconstante404

Жыл бұрын

Be brave Alan, good luck

@user-kw1hs4dn1g

Жыл бұрын

Many men cheat and we're supposed to forgive them...

@p-jaywade1333

Жыл бұрын

Are they still together or did this happen recently?

@Yazan26579

Жыл бұрын

Sorry to hear that. Your hard work in raising two children will lead them to support YOU in your old age, whereas SHE will be in some home for the elderly.

@alank9754

Жыл бұрын

@@p-jaywade1333 This was almost 4 years ago. They lasted about 3 months. She had to move in with her daughter. Her sister who divorced her husband ten years prior for cheating. Moved in with me a year later. She is letting my ex live there so my daughter and her family can have some peace. Lol best sex I have had in 40 years

That is so true thanks you God for everything you did in my life amen

When you truly love someone, you would not care about the challenges both will face together and will be easy to accept any differences with tolerance and love; it will be easy to follow the law of marriage without feeling force to do it otherwise not matter what eventually the marriage won’t happen

@jamietanksley3113

Жыл бұрын

Marriage is Creator Gods' Idea, The most important thing is : Your Commitment to your Saviour, Then your committment to your husband/wife, Focus on your friendship, Don't get distracted by the romantics or the sex, That can cloud your mind of what is right in front of you that might not be right, You don't need the distractions, Do not touch until after marriage so the marriage bed is clean and beautifull, Blessing

@jamietanksley3113

Жыл бұрын

Marriage will not be all it can be with out the Creator of marriage, If you want your Marriage destroyed, Involve alcohol, drugs, promiscuity,arrogance,flirting(except with each other), No one can take your marriage partner away from you, If your marriage partner goes, He/she goes of their own free will, Don't blame yourself, It had absolutely Nothing to do with you

@Acorn_artflower

Жыл бұрын

@@jamietanksley3113 Without God a marriage cannot survive soon or later the challenges of life will arise and only God can work things out that seem impossible for men; that’s why is important that people love each other and love God together, pray together and work as a team in a marriage I think so

My husband and I are best friends, we crack jokes, make money together, smoke a lil ganja when time permits and raising a beautiful boy to see the love his parents have for each other. This man is speaking facts loudly

Its soul breaking to be in a relationship with some one that you feel you have nothing in common with. It's a lonely walk indeed to just not click. I live in a foreign country and can't leave as we have kids together, can't move out as I can't afford a place on my own without assistance and I'm not entitled to any financial help here. One income alone is not enough. I'm living in a nightmare and have to wake up and pretend to the world that I'm ok. I wish I was single and a solo mother every day. He can have all the access to our kids. I just rather be on my own for my own sanity. Then I only have 2 kids not 3 kids to look after.

@pentilel

Жыл бұрын

I feel your pain😢

@incognito.502

Жыл бұрын

Same here momma, same here. Its actually very sadz because there is no end to it. Plus you have to raise kids together, its financially also beneficial.

@susanfisher3655

Жыл бұрын

You are right. Most can not leave financially. It's terrible.

@winniejohnson5559

Жыл бұрын

Wow 😮 the grass is always greener on the other side..

@soulthriver-oz6470

Жыл бұрын

I know, many of us in similar situations. Best way to cope is..try to find time for one favourite interest or hobby WITH other people away from the home, once every week or two. You get to change your scenery & stare of mind too.

Most people do not marry their soul mate. They don’t get the one they want. Also, a lot of people marry because society tells us to marry and have kids but people start romantic relationships so young in the West yet never evaluate what they really want. It’s a very painful truth.

@sulusu4812

Жыл бұрын

I will wait for the one that is meant for me. ✨

Amen ❤

Love this, thank you thank you

Perfectly said. It’s a Gold Nugget❣️

Not getting along? Thats a problem. This guy is a fkn genius

Thank you for your teaching Rabbi Friedman❤

Ok Rabbi, thanks for your advice ❤

So much wisdom

This is sooo true. If you find yourself loving a person but wanting to change something about them then it will not last. Or if you marry then one or both of you will always be unhappy or unsatisfied.

I wish my husband understood this

@JohnJames-kv2gy

2 ай бұрын

Is you married the right man meant for you

I try to tell people to get to know and fall in love with the person behind the screen ; and be a fan to what's in front of the screen...You can never feel inferior to a person that you know behind the screen.. Sounds complicated I know, but I may expound on this topic a bit later...

That is so true!.

Truer words have never been spoken.

Thank you Rabbi

This guy is freaking brilliant.

@JohnJames-kv2gy

2 ай бұрын

Right 😊

So so true.

Good advice!

I love your messages. Thanks ❤

i want to .marry someone who loves, me with fidelity, kindness and compassion!!❤

always and always amazing words

Absolutely right!

Well said, man 👏

Hallelujah, Bless you 🙏

I married to a part. We don't have good communication. I always felt something was off since before marriage

@LB-ku6ry

Жыл бұрын

What do you mean, please? I don’t understand this. His comment about “part” went over my head.

@queenscotia769

10 ай бұрын

Gut instincts will never lead you astray ..but often we fail to listen .

@virginialopezrey6860

7 ай бұрын

Yes. Without communication, it seems like a pretend marriage.

@queenscotia769

7 ай бұрын

Agree 💯

@noraallman9194

6 ай бұрын

You missed the signal

Yes sir ! 100% true . I’m thirty years with my best friend , my WiFE . Yea it not perfect but I love her . We have two kids three grand kids . We have been lucky because we know nothing is easy , And only the hard work is worth it !! We live in a disposable society , if it don’t work trash it and get another one ! And then we have the people so screw up they can keep a relationship . This is because of what there parent have done to them . The problem with our society is poor parenting … These kid grow up to produce worse children .. now look . Kids murder , kids steal , lie , and don’t go To school .. deal drug to make lots of money then spend it on fast cars and guns .. What a waste of a life , maybe death would be better !! And don’t worry it’s coming !!!!

@Freetoughts

Жыл бұрын

I agree sir!!!

@jamietanksley3113

Жыл бұрын

People try to live with without the Creator of life and marriage, Without Father God a good life or a good marriage can not be had, Without Father God we have an awful life here And an awful life in the next one

@kilodeltawhisky1504

Жыл бұрын

​@@jamietanksley3113 Amen!

This is true, the log vrs speck.

Soo thoughtful. Thanks. ✨

This is a powerful statement amen amen

So definitely true xxx

Love this. I've always thought this way

Genius truth spoken here!!!

Do you know why that is? People get into relationships because they try to find common ground- or so he told me. Find a complement. Not a mirror.

Traits matter. Habits matter. Values matter. A liar, dishonest miserable lazy person is not meant for anyone. If you are unlucky to marry such an individual they were not meant for you. He/she should be tossed out of your life. That's a mistake marriage. Rabbi is painting a picture of staying with anyone you marry regardless. Judaism teaches that marriage should have peace. People shouldn't suffer in marriages and one can seek divorce.

Most authentic advice, thank you.

Excellent advice and so very true.

SOUL MATE SO PRECIOUS ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Respect each other HUMANKIND🌱🪄❤️

If that person is meant for you you love them as they are worts and all with love x

I am thankful for having a blessed marriage with a wonderful man. ❤

This ain’t nothing but the truth you can’t say it know better than this thank you sir ❤😊❤

Thank you for this video.

word from an elder.. Thank you pa

Your Teachings are Amazingly wonderful ❤️ Rabbi long live

I agree with you Rabbi

Truth! Gotta love all parts?! Think about that!

I being through that's I agree with him

Seeking to get married is the 1st mistake.

@flooredjustfloored

7 ай бұрын

Really?? When all you're taught from the cradle is how that's the only way you can have sex and avoid hell simultaneously?

@serenechong3652

7 ай бұрын

@@flooredjustfloored hell is made up by human for the stupid. Master my own temptation I have. Life is not about sex.

@serenechong3652

7 ай бұрын

@@flooredjustfloored where is hell? Your back yard? Is only written in your bible. It is also written in comic book, ghost Rider. Grow up stupid.

Basically everyone is choosing what they can get out of marriage. No marriage is perfect you need to make the marriage perfect.

I have the best understanding spouse who could accept what I was going through internally and been my strong support.... All glory and honour to almighty 🙏

Very true....

Thanks Rabbi

I found my soulmate, I won’t be able to live without him, wouldn’t want to. We both are not perfect but we can get through anything together. ❤

Warts and all.😂