A vampire the masquerade storyteller saying that appearance is useless is akin to a D&D DM saying he doesn't allow combat in his game. Or a cyberpunk GM saying they don't allow augments. Just run and never look back.

@gregoryvn3

13 күн бұрын

True facts!

@danebirbhaha7520

7 күн бұрын

I mean, that's the whole point of the nosferatu

@jamiehughes3754

7 күн бұрын

​@@danebirbhaha7520no it's more like saying appearance does matter just in the complete opposite way 👍🏻

@jamesgasik3424

5 күн бұрын

I mean, mechanically, Appearance doesn't do much in OWOD, so I'm not sure if it's any better in 5th. Basically, Appearance determines maximum die pool allowed for first impressions with other characters (often ignored), there's an Appearance roll in the seduction subsystem, Presence level 3 is Appearance +Empathy, and there's maybe one or two other suggestions for what to do with Appearance. Other than that, it's a "hotness scale" which has dubious merit among the undead to begin with, and is easily sidestepped with various Disciplines anyways. So I can see people have trouble with it, as it's ambiguous and relies on a lot of telling people "you think X is hot, roleplay accordingly". And then you get into debates about standards of beauty and attractiveness. I typically describe NPC's, show pictures of what I think they look like, and never openly state what their Appearance rating is unless it somehow becomes relevant, which happens rarely. So from a certain point of view, Appearance can easily be useless to one group but all-important to another. Wits suffers from a similar problem, as the rules seem very clear on what Perception and Intelligence is for and offer many examples, but Wits is far less understood beyond "It's Intelligence, but faster". Oh and it effect initiative. Combat fanatics know that much, and always have decent Wits. I mean, I've played a LOT of V:tM and going months without being asked to make a Wits roll is par usual.

@Ladywizard

4 күн бұрын

Especially for a freaking TORRIE who 3 dot is actually pretty low for (most are 4-5 because they embrace artists that are super godly beautiful)

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Girl RUN! This guy is 100% going to take advantage of you if he gets you alone. Get out of that group, you do NOT need friends like that.

Brontosaurus NUKE "Are you sure" does not cut if if you have not established your houserules about how you handle fall damage.

@lother1111

12 күн бұрын

I don't think it's really even house rules given that if a horse falls from high enough it 'splashes'. A Brontosaurus is a whole lot larger than a horse so it 'nuking' the ground doesn't seem too far-fetched

@schwarzerritter5724

12 күн бұрын

@@lother1111 Nothing in the rules says creature size matters when calculating fall damage. So transforming into a creature with a lot of hitpoints to survive the fall is completely reasonable and having something else happen is a gotcha! houserule.

@tirado3211

11 күн бұрын

134 sticks of dynamite, with a 15' crater? This is gonna establish a precedent come time to fight the final boss

@BearWith_You

9 күн бұрын

​@@schwarzerritter5724Yeah honestly, this was just a terrible call on the DMs part just because, brontosaurus doesn't fly I guess

@xoire9754

7 күн бұрын

@@lother1111 No it definitely is a house rule, you don't use physics randomly to substitute actual rules RAW. I don't really know how a brontosaurus reaches terminal velocity at just 60 feet either. The rule is 1d6 damage per 10 feet, capped at 20d6. The real issue with this house rule is now that the players are aware of it, polymorph is OHKO for any flying enemies regardless of their HP. In a pinch, you can even use it on allies to one-shot an enemy by dropping a bronty nuke. I mean honestly, gargantuan creatures are 4x4 or larger - 1000 hp damage to 16 squares below it is a very strong attack. A Zealot Barbarian and Lore Bard with Revivify and Fly can use this combo every day with no cost.

“Nah, I’d die” - Brontosaurus Druid

@catlover2223

13 күн бұрын

And a giant swath of nearby nature is coming with me! They don’t call druids co-dependent with nature for nothing!!

@DespiteEverything42

12 күн бұрын

Never mind, hey, this is really exciting, so much to find out about, so much to look forward to, I’m quite dizzy with anticipation … Or is it the wind? There really is a lot of that now isn’t it? And wow! Hey! What’s this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like … ow … ound … round … ground! That’s it! That’s a good name - ground! I wonder if it will be friends with me? And the rest, after a sudden wet thud, was silence

@jordanhunter3375

7 күн бұрын

I'll throw this Mook a hypertheorical bone, and presume that either, A. He was thinking of a flying dinosaur but mixed up the names, or B. He was hoping that the Bronto would have enough HP to withstand the fall, plus if the DM had any goons waiting nearby to mug the players when they landed, he could just squish them

@jacksquatt6082

7 күн бұрын

I like that youtube gives me the option to translate your comment into English.

Dude adds an extra m to “Lasombra” and then pronounces “Gehenna” correctly. Love ya Crispy, never change! Also to answer your question about generations, it’s basically how far removed your character is from the very first vampire. In the case of the 15th gen character, that means there’s fourteen vampire sires between them and that first vampire, with the actual character being the fifteenth. Apparently if a 15th generation vampire tries to sire another one, the blood is essentially too “watered-down” for them to be an actual vampire.

@manticore6963

13 күн бұрын

15th Gen would already be considered too watered-down. You're a Thinblodd at the 14th Generation, 13th is already 50% chance afaik.

@FirstnameLastname-bp2pg

13 күн бұрын

Also the funky words to describe characters like Caitiff and Lasombra are vampire clans. Each clan descends from a 3rd-generation vampire and they have different abilities as well as curses.

@solosynapse

13 күн бұрын

He pronounced Gehenna "guh-HEEM-uh." It's "guh-HENN-uh." His pronunciations are unhinged & I love him for it.

@zacharysieg2305

13 күн бұрын

@@manticore6963Appreciate the clarification; I thought 15th was the limit instead of 14th. But then, I only have experience with my 12th-gen Nos so far😅

As someone who loves playing Good aligned paladins, it genuinely makes me sad hearing about so many horrible experiences with misguided or horrible Paladin players.

@shealupkes

13 күн бұрын

If you're not going to be a good aligned paladin at least be good at being a paladin, bless and aura are your very best friends

@TheHegetzu

13 күн бұрын

My first character was Gond's Paladin. His whole character was pretty much about smithing and building. Not necessarily a good aligned character, since for him, magic was only an extension to hard steel and lots of things that were pure magic were seen as bad. I love those stereotypically good knights in their shining armors too, though.

My first thought at the brontosaurus story was "That's smart if he can pull it off -- turning into an animal so big it's already standing on the ground while 60ft up in the air." (I'm not sure if brontosauruses are _that_ big...)

@AtelierGod

12 күн бұрын

About 68ft tall.

Bro... that last story. The man was a psychopath. He tried to do everything to make others suffer, including hitting WELL BELOW THE BELT with the miscarriage remark. He needs to be put in a psyche ward before he hurts someone for real!

All these horror stories make me glad my first DND campaign had an absolutely incredible DM. She had everyone fill out a "Consent Sheet" consisting of everything we were and weren't ok with having our characters go through. They also gave us all some interesting tips on how he legally writes off as many things possible as a tax deductible, which isn't relevant to them being a great DM, but I feel like I should mention it anyway, since I really wanna hammer it in how cool she is.

@johnmirlescearcy4980

10 күн бұрын

My current DM has done that, and she easily adapts to. None of us said at the start that we had a problem with animal endangerment;however, when we went to a bandit lair where they had dire wolves, some of us players were like “Doggie, no! 😢” She said when the session was done that she would include fewer animals in combats. 😊

I play with paladin levels as a bard and he is neither horny, nor lawful stupid. He’s just honorable, charitable, and charming. If the DM throws women at him, he politely turns them down. If he makes a lot of money, he gives it away to poor children. The only time he becomes a problem, is when he witnesses hypocrisy in other party members, because if he witnesses injustice, he seeks out clever ways to cause a comeuppance. This is how I avoid the pitfalls of either class

@sintanan469

13 күн бұрын

I played a bard/barbarian. Dude was a professional wrestler by trade and party's "dad", as he was wise and charismatic and the only level-headed one with a happy family history (his adopted family is still living a few towns over, he's traveling because he wanted to do some soul searching and has some wanderlust to work out of his system). No interest in women or men; there's this one gal back home he still has feelings for. Dude just wants to be friends.

@canoewithmeat

9 күн бұрын

Ah, Jesus.

@ElderonAnalas

7 күн бұрын

I enjoy my Paladin. He's pretty chill, isn't lawful stupid, but is pretty set in stone on abuse. Is a natural werewolf, and recently got reunited with his bastard son he made before he found his moon goddess and his faith. So now he's just trying to be a good dad and atone for being a formerly evil dude.

For the Brontosaurus nuke story, I think the guy just sacrificed the "practical" and "logical" sense for the "Fun" sense. For the last story, I think DM had a crush on OP without having the basic notions of human behavior and social bonds. Otherwise, why would he value him and sabotage his wife's character, going so far as to attempt to sabotage their marriage?

@nardopolo7407

9 күн бұрын

what is this human behaviour of which you speak ?

@teheles

9 күн бұрын

@@nardopolo7407 Instead of surviving the fall and keep playing, he would search to have fun and a good laugh, and sabotage himself is this goal. And I guess that's a victory.

@jordanhunter3375

7 күн бұрын

​@teheles I think they meant the "human behaviour" part you mentioned in the second paragraph

I played in a one shot with the winged boots and it was an amazing reveal (DM approved but forgot I had them) at the very end. I was a kenku barbarian that was annoying the hell out of the bbeg because I wasn't just doing a lot of damage but I also refused to fail any of the saving throw spells he was casting on me or succumb to the poison damage his two living clouds were doing to me turn after turn. Finally he has enough and goes "you want to fly little bird, let me help you!" He grapples me and attempts to throw me. However, even at disadvantage, I pass the strength contest and say I use the winged boots to hover just above the ground to spite him. The whole table erupted in laughter as a result. 😂

@hiro4344

13 күн бұрын

Epic!

I always feel a bit annoyed that so many people stick around for situations they clearly shouldn't. Meanwhile I am looking for players to run sessions for in my area and can't find new people at all, and these DM's have no idea how to run a decent game but have people locked in.

@ArcCaravan

13 күн бұрын

While that's a common complaint, I can appreciate your perspective of "starving DM seeing miserable players feeding worse". That last story just makes me hate how some players request blatant victims stay in a miserable game because other people want to play. It is frustratingly common, more than it should be.

@NetherStray

7 күн бұрын

...Well? _Have_ you tried threats of violence? Clearly they're onto something. /s

The math is mathing already. Crispy-2024.

Ah, World of Darkness...it's either a spectacular dive into personal horror and examination of the compromises and moral ambiguities you accept to survive/make things better, or it's a cringy Edgelord Lolapalooza. There is no middle ground...

@gregoryvn3

13 күн бұрын

I've heard of a third direction for WoD games to go, which the cringey edgelords will bitterly complain about: Ignore all the personal horror themes and turn it into Superheroes who sometimes drink blood or turn furry.

Using a useful item as justification for no rewards, and enforcing strict limits on the item's use, you're a mizer DM. Reminds me of a story of a paladin that had their divine features revoked, making them less than a fighter, less than a warrior sidekick even!

In regards to the last story, Every time I see a fictional (or worse irl) lover in this game threaten to harm themselves or others if they’re not in a relationship with x person I don’t know if they expect the other person to lovingly be in a relationship with them. More like a forced contract so said person doesn’t cause any harm which. Isn’t a good relationship

"My planet needs me, I'm out." Just going to start using this whenever I need to escape a social entrapment.

"Bro nah my planet needs me im out" That almost made me choke on my mac&cheese

I used to DM a group of 6-9 people for a game that continued for just over two years. It was freaking epic! And one of the guys in my group was always so weird that my gf would come sometimes and play a ranger/rogue that wore an invisibility ring (which helped explain why she would disappear sometimes, since she couldn't always play). We gamed every Thursday. And then one time he threw a literal tantrum about three of our group being girls and how they made him uncomfortable because he "hadn't been laid since he was 17", he was 39 at the time. I told him to either deal with it or leave. So he decides to walk into the kitchen (this was at our friend's house) and started to slam all the doors and kick stuff. He ended up breaking a cabinet door and a couple toes 😂 I removed him from the group but he was eventually let back in after apologizing to everyone, including the girls (one was my partner and the other two were dating each other). And then he said it. Out loud even! The dude legitimately asked if one of the girls, anyone of them, my partner included, would be willing to give him a bj. He even said he had deserved it after watching himself around them, we didn't want to even know what he meant by that. Before anyone could even start to yell at him, the home owner Joel grabbed him by his jacket and tossed him out of his house. And I mean that Joel threw him out the door! He just grabbed Nick and kick his door open and tossed him out. We then all yelled at him and called him an A-hole. Then he started to actually cry about how the lesbians were the reason he couldn't get a girlfriend 😅 It was honestly pretty funny by then, and this was all back in 2007-ish. So we had no idea what an incel was back then but he was definitely that. He even admitted that he joined the navy to impress some girl he had just met because she joined. And then because he hated being told what to do he bought crack while on leave and purposely smoked it in front of a higher ranking officer and was dishonorably discharged for that. Yet he would constantly talk about being "in the military" like it made him a badass or something. It was ridiculous. Other than him, we also had one guy play with our group for a couple months but he got real weird with everyone because he constantly told all of us guys that we were all secretly gay, because he was gay and he could just tell, and he started to talk down to all the girls and telling them that they shouldn't be playing a "man's game". Dungeons & Dragons. Rifts Earth. Shadowrun. You know, the manly games 😂 And then he started to hit on me and another guy, and us being very comfortable with ourselves and our sexualities, we ended up getting really annoyed with his constant drama. My gf ended up almost knocking him out one night while they were outside smoking during a game break, he was saying some pretty gross stuff to her (i won't repeat any of it), but it was very offensive to multiple people there. Right after he left, while yelling about how "awful all females are and that's why all men are gay", was when Lisa & her partner told us about some of the stuff he had said to them. And we put a sign on the door telling him he wasn't allowed in anymore, because he would just laugh off everything as a "joke". Other than those two I've had nothing but good people I've played with. And I've been playing TTRPG's since I was 13 back in the early 90's. I was even present at my local nerd store when MtG first came out and I was given a whole unopened box to take home to try out. I still have a few of the cards even though I've never played more than a small handful of times. The Rock Hydra (i think thats what it is) just looks so cool. I enjoy the artwork. Maybe one day I'll have it enlarged so I can hang it on my wall as a piece of art.

@gregoryvn3

13 күн бұрын

Good storytime. 😊

@draconicfeline6177

12 күн бұрын

I have no sympathy for these whiny man babies.

"We're married!" You're right about lack of loot creating murder-hobos. I, myself, become a murder-hobo ... frequently but slightly less determined about it with cool loot. Note, that I do not say USEFUL loot. ::treasure the Potion of Pogo Stick:: Final GM was ... creepy. I wouldn't want to be anywhere near him--not even in his faded long-term memory.

@jordanhunter3375

7 күн бұрын

The potion turns you into a pogo stick?

@beetleb.1418

7 күн бұрын

@@jordanhunter3375 IF ONLY! It just gives one the ability to bounce-walk as if one were on a pogo stick. Instead of just boring, regular old "walking." Toldja, it wasn't useful 😆 But it IS cool!

A "hardscrabble, no loot" game can work, but it absolutely falls into the sort of thing that should be clarified in Session 0. Also, there should be something else the PCs 'acquire'--maybe have some sort of reputation or lore system, where they gain social/investigation bonuses because of their reps and/or deeper understanding of the underlying mysteries. (TORG's Orrorsh setting used this--it's a Victorian Horror setting, and to actually be able to overcome the power of Fear, you have to gain knowledge and insight, which is tracked during the adventure; until it was high enough, fighting the Big Bad was no bueno). So long as the players know what to expect, they should be good to roll with it.

@NetherStray

7 күн бұрын

Honestly, a lack of loot can work really well. No reason to stick around in areas and investigate every little thing if you know you're not going to find upgrades and gold, knowing you'll get those instead from shops or as quest rewards. It would help focus for times when there's an actual item you need to find, like "hey we need to find so-and-so's magical maguffin and we've been told it's somewhere in this laboratory, let's search it."

the Dinasaur falling reminds me of from "Hitchhikers Guide" the falling whale

@ArcCaravan

13 күн бұрын

It made me think of Homer Simpson riding a bomb.

Your new avatar looks so FLOOFY!

The brontosaurus story reminds me of my own story where we fought a vampire,which in the setting explode when reduced to 0. We were afraid the blast would be too devastating so i,playing a homebrew kaiju class,transformed and flew with him like 800 feet in the air and kill him. The blast just dealt 10 damage to me and as i plummeted to my death taking 300 damage the dm was clearly desperate not wanting to have my character die

Intro says it's not a horror story and then immediately drop a very much creepy experience. Also second story is just hilarious. I had no idea what's going on in that brontosaurus player mind 😭 I rationalize that it might be because he thought bigger = less impact towards him? Which would be false, since isn't it the opposite, smaller = more likely surviving fall damage? I mean, that's why you could batted ant and they just landed safely. Then again, he might alr knew that and just wants to do the funniest thing that could've happened. And he'd be damn right. Last story is 😬😬😬 Yeah, there's something wrong with that GM. Wtf with him 😭 Honestly OP and his wife should bail the moment it became obvious it was uncomfortable, but like, I do kinda get it. Sometimes it's not easy to left. But really, this is red flag all over, don't feel guilty for cutting off people like this. Honestly I wonder if GM was just a plain ol' misogynist. Lasombra and the wife character was sidelined, because they're female chars, meanwhile OP character is the only male char thus MC in his eyes. The OP character beats up his gf from a literal dice roll for seemingly no reason. That same gf character instead THANKED him according to the GM, despite that's not how normal person would react and the only reason one would is if they were already abused/gaslighted into thinking so. The wife character was impregnated despite, again, no consent for it to happen, only did because the GM wants it ... somehow. Something that kind of trip my alarm a bit for this for some funny reason is since the beginning when he deny OP stats in appearance. It felt as if it's either because he doesn't want competition in a f***ing roleplaying game, OR he just wants to live the average looking guy power fantasy through OP char, which he couldn't have because OP char is handsome (LOL). Either way, that part rang an alarm also for another reason. That just sounds like a power trip GM that couldn't take the fact their player have wants. Edit: I FORGOT THAT THE GUY ALSO TRY TO USE THE MISCARRIAGE TO DRIVE A WEDGE BETWEEN THEM. TO GET CLOSE TO THE HUSBAND OF ALL PEOPLE. AND THEN THE PICTURE OH GOD. Yeah you know what? This just sounds like that type of misogynist who hates woman but also get off from them. While also somehow ambiguously close with men instead, but would dead set insist that he isn't gay.

any dm that says appearance in masquerade doesnt matter probably should not dm a masquerade game.

Paladin is my favorite class, and one way I try to play it non-problematically is by playing my Paladin as a devout protector rather than a fanatical zealot. If we’re in a dangerous area, my Paladin takes point. If there are innocent bystanders in a fight, he prioritizes protecting them. If there are hostages, he frees them. He’s openly devoted to his god, but he doesn’t try to force anyone else to worship him. The only time he maybe gets a little in-your-face is if another character is a murder hobo or something. I hope that helps as a tip for non-problematic Paladins?

@NetherStray

7 күн бұрын

Be the exemplar at all times and the crusader only when absolutely necessary.

Does Story 1 read like a "Nice Guy" tm and his friends who also think he's cringe but "deserves" a girlfriend, or is that just me projecting because I've been on the wrong side of that behavior too many times? I can't think of any other reason for the DM to support the random mind control powers, it only makes sense if DM was trying (and failing) to wingman.

@ArcCaravan

13 күн бұрын

It wouldn't surprise me if the other players and DM honestly enjoy that guy's behavior.

@SharmClucas

13 күн бұрын

@@ArcCaravan It's possible, though that would make me question OP's choice in friends more than I already am.

Just for your info Crispy in Vampire the Masquerade all vampires are directly descended from Cain, the biblical first murderer. Each generation is counted from him. The old monsters that most vampires fear waking up as they would almost certainly eat all of the weaker vamps are said to be 4th generation (I think because it's been a while). Most vampire PCs are around 10th to 13th generation with 14th being barely considered vampires and 15th being basically humans with some fancy powers fueled by blood.

I'm pretty sure in Story 1, the player thought "if I'm bigger, I'll have to fall less until I reach the ground." So, if the average character occupies a 5x5ft space, and it grows 1 size to large (10x10ft), one could assume (correctly or not) that they could just add the extra 5ft downwards from their starting square, meaning they're now 5ft closer to the ground, and would only take 5d6 fall damage for falling 55ft rather than 6d6 for falling 60ft. This means a 20x20ft creature would fall 15ft less, a 60x60ft would fall 55ft less, and so on. But of course, the DM's homebrew fall damage was not properly communicated (and I assume made-up on the spot), so the player was operating off of the wrong information.

White Wolf games as a rule like to seek out obscure verbiage so it’s understandable that anyone might be a bit confuzzled by the proprietary nouns in their setting. That said, you nailed two out of three of them… although I’m still not sure where you found the M that you keep sticking in ‘La(m)sombra’. Part of the charm, I guess.

Hey Crispy - Love the show. Maybe a long comment / info dump here. The Vampire thing for Masquerade... Yes they use the term Generation, this is a trait you can buy in character Creation that determines how many steps you are away from Caine the Vampire progenitor in the setting (yes biblical caine) who is 1st or 0 Generation depending on the IC legends and mysteries. Most PCs in Vampire the Masquerade start at 12th or 13th Generation (varies depending on Modern Nights vs the Dark Ages game) and up to 5 background points (from a pool of points that are used for Background stats like Resources, Contacts, Influence, etc) can be spent to lower your character's Generation. The lower your Generation the more Blood Points (character resource for fueling Vampiric powers called Disciplines, healing damage, increasing physical attributes) you have and the more you are allowed to spend in a turn / on an action. However, most characters do not walk around broadcasting their Generation (mostly they will name their Sire in very formal settings where required) as the only way to lower your Generation is to eat a vampire of a lower Generation than yourself - which is hyper illegal in most vampire society and can be found out with relative ease. Most of the details in the Vampire horror stories I've heard to date are often weird side stuff that doesn't really appear in the setting material in the same way where a lot of the D&D stories go off the rails where things are just... odd.

It's pronounced "Kay Tiff" for Caitiff. You did great on your pronunciations. Well done sir. Caitiff are sometimes referred to as the Clanless. They are the outsiders of Vampire the Masquerade. They are usually shunned by the other clans having no standing within the society of the Camarilla. (which, by the way, is a huge disadvantage in the game.) The advantage of playing a Caitiff is you have access to all the disciplines (the vampire powers) without all the disadvantages of a specific clan. So the clans have 3 disciplines that have a lower cost in experience to level up on but all the other disciplines cost a lot more. Caitiff's only disadvantage is being shunned by Vampire society but their cost to level up in disciplines are in between the the clan disciplines and the cost of the outside disciplines.

The picture was probably inverted to get past social media filters against sharing explicit material. The computer doesn't read it the same way, so it goes through. Interestingly, that also works for people. It's a really common technique for those in trust and safety positions that have to look at awful images of a violent or violently sexual nature as part of their job. By inverting it, they can still view the photo enough to verify what it is (and potentially report it to the appropriate authorities), but it is less likely to cause them trauma just by viewing it.

Regarding the Vampire story, please allow me to explain quickly: For the Appearance thing : yeah, Appearance is often derided among VtM fans as useless. Not because they hate hot people mind you, but because rating how hot your character is literally is *all* it does - it allows you to roll for social stuff involving your appearance. Most people feel the other two social Attributes, Charisma and Manipulation, do just as well and more. For Generations: it's basically a lore/mechanical element in Vampire. Basically, in VtM, Vampirism was the curse God placed on Caine for killing Abel, and as a result Caine was the original vampire and thus the "first" generation of vampire (basically patient 0). Those he turned into vampires directly became the second Generation, then those these second generation vampires turned became the third generation, and so on. And because of how vampirism works in this setting, the vampirism dilute with each generation, meaning each next generation become gradually weaker in supernatural mojo, in exchange for becoming more human-like. The 3rd generation, the Antediluvians (who're the primary BBEGs in the game), are borderline eldritch gods in vampire form, while the 14th and 15th generations have almost no vampire traits besides fangs, basic superhuman strength and immortality, but are so close to being humans they can conceive children and walk in sunlight with no side effect. I admit I am personally not particularly a fan of this element, which is why I personally prefer Vampire the Requiem (where vampires just all start at the same power level and grow stronger with age), but I can sympathize with those who find this lore fascinating.

Big big big recommendation for Just Roll With it: Riptide. Gillion Tidestrider is my favourite example of a "rightous paladin" as someone who also loves the trope, with the added benefit of him being the only time I've ever seen a Chosen One used as a PC without it feeling like it took any of the focus off of the other characters. He's funny, he's aroace, he's rightous & honorable, he's a pirate, he's autistic, he's my everything. It's quite a lot to get through at this point, but I imagine that, bare minimum, you'll have a lot of interesting things to say about it.

Okay hear me out on this, find the big bad's hideout, 1 character polymorphs into a large bird of some variety, carries player 2 up above the hideout and they polymorph into a brontosaurus insta killing the big bad and all the henchmen in a giant nuclear level explosion, resurrect and collect rewards.

I swear crispy has an endless reserve of props and clones

@claireful

13 күн бұрын

It’s not fair. I only need one clone, and Crispy has dozens.

Long term fan here, just wanted to let you know the lip color suits you! ☺️

Intro: When "that guy" is popular. Story 1: An online campaign weaponized polymorphed brontosauruses falling on enemies. Story 2: Literally just heard this story. Actually spent time thinking how to balance flight and a video about Demon's Crest gave me some ideas. Cramped spaces, spiked ceilings, more consistent effort compared to other movements, etc. Granted not all of those would help in a tabletop game, but it did convince me flight doesn't have to automatically make other options obsolete. Story 3: A friend of mine has DnD Strixhaven streams he posted on KZread with a paladin PC who's not a jerk. Paladins being popular picks for problem players looks like either invoking authority figures with allowed corruption or appearing like the best of all worlds for classes. As for the story itself, I'd say calling this railroading is too nice when they just use a new player as a prop. Glad OP took back their character and got to use the sircerer how they wanted. 4th story: Man, that GM has issues. Forcing a mainch character against the player's will, romanticized/fetishized abuse and exploiting a married couple's IRL tragedies to try splitting them up. And one player insisting they stay just for the game. One of the worst stories I've heard.

That last story revolved around a sociopath

@savorvrymoment

12 күн бұрын

seriously... dude needs to be on some sort of list

My entire thought process that I had with the brontosaurus was Fall height is tall Dinosaur is also tall If I am dinosaur, fall height is less tall

That moment when two of the D&D KZreadrs you follow read the same story on the same day.

I think the thing that makes paladin so atractive to That Guys is the combination of a suite of (often) overpowered abilities that are easy to tune up for combat dominance combined with game lore that actively encourages the "holier-than-thou" attitude many That Guys already had. It's self-insert gold for these guys.

@NetherStray

7 күн бұрын

In the World of Warcraft RP realm, we refer to them as Human Male Paladins--HMPs. Because they're _always_ human, _always_ male, and _always_ paladins with that stupid attitude and the same backstory of excellent military service and an amazingly influential presence in their faction and a huge estate of their very own and a fleet of ships/tanks/whatever etc etc etc. Obnoxiousness in a suit of armor.

"You can't just multi class in the middle of the campaign" uhhhh yes u can lol

@ArcCaravan

13 күн бұрын

Definitely could have been phrased better. Pretty sure he meant multiclassing in the middle of the session without a level up.

@BurroughsProductions

13 күн бұрын

@@ArcCaravan oh I know what he meant lol I just thought it was funny

@ArcCaravan

13 күн бұрын

@@BurroughsProductions Good, I was worried for a second I was mistaken on what Crispy meant.

VTM generation numbers are basically "How far down the chomping line from the progenitor(Cain) you are". The higher the number, the weaker your "gift", but they're also less affected by sunlight at 15th I believe.

Maybe he meant to turn into a pterodactyl? And just forgot what the name was?

That lipstick looks so good on u btw

@NetherStray

7 күн бұрын

Some eyeliner would go great with it imo but it's pretty slick

Paladins are the ultimate “Karen” class with the general view from popular culture making them “white knights”/“knights in shining armor” which any “Karen” would jump at the chance to be as they appeal to heir innate need for “sic”-ing a higher authority figure on anyone who disagrees with their worldview or questions their perceived authority. (In short they have the moral high ground, a likely good amount of influence among the npcs due to having a position among the clergy, and the ability to send the divine’s wrath upon their opponents.)

I still remember my Pathfinder experience with a GM who didn't know how to manage loot. We had a character with influence in the party so we didn't hae to pay for like, mundane stuff, but we would inevitably go months without any kind of loot, start falling behind the equipment curve (Pathfinder is even more dependent on item progression than 5E), complain to the DM, and his solution would be to send us a link to the magic item list on the SRD, have us pick out enough GP worth of magic items to reach the appropriate entry on the WBL table, and have the next plot relevant NPC pull the exact items we asked for out of their proverbial butts. Repeat until campaign ended. I don't think we ever got so much as a gold piece from actual fights or enemies.

The brontosaurus nuke was one of the most delightful “horror” stories I’ve seen in a while. I wonder if he just wasn’t thinking and then doubled down?

Very important for everyone to remember. No matter how desperate you are for a game. No D&D is better than toxic D&D. Find another group, even if it takes you months. It's better than the stress of dealing with a toxic personality who rely on the fact that it's hard to have find GM so that they can exert their control issues over you and other players.

"A Toreador with daddy issues" That's just a Toreador

For that vampire story, the generations mark how far away a vampire is from the first vampire, Cain (as in Cain and Abel Cain). A 15th generation vampire means that they are 14 other vampires away from the first. Also, with each generation, the vampire blood is diluted. The fact a 14th defeated a werewolf, with in world of darkness can reliably fight tanks, is a stretch at best. Also other supernatural beings can’t become vampires, so the demon claim is impossible. And for player’s dad being a werewolf, people in WoD can’t be infected with lycanthropy like a vampire gets vampirism. The pc’s dad had to be a werewolf from day one, meaning that they would have known that their father was werewolf and was part of the tribe even if they didn’t inherit the trait.

If you want to DM a game but don’t want the players to divert from what you want with pesky things like “rolls” or “character agency” then what you actually want to do is write a book

I really don't see how flying is that much of a problem, like, just give your enemies some ranged options that equate to the same distance the flier can fire from and you're good

Well that dm just fucked up bc I would forever keep a rat on me and just polymorph it and drop a brontosaurus on every bbeg and the games over

That last story, even though the pandemic had hit I believe the old saying "No DND is better than bad DND" would have been helpful to the OP

The brontosaurus trick, I did that recently. On purpose. We had a bunch on enemies under our flying carpet saying "Don't worry boss, we'll catch them" and after the bad guy disintegrated our kolbold on my girl's lap (limited room and I'm currently a 6'7 Satyr)...he pissed her off enough she decided to jump off the carpet (second time's she's done this to kill something, first time was to take out the hands of a fire genie who Vorpaled our rogue's head off, killing him) and polymorped into a T-rex. Survived the fall, squished most of the enemies except one...and he became her prey. Originally I was going to become a whale but I would have just.....been stuck XD and he angered my fey girl so much she was OUT for blood> Oh, both times we were about 60ft in the air XD

we're married? But... but we don't even know each other!

Curiosity is getting the better of me. I wanna see the 6 parter

I got featured! ⚔️🎆

Well I was transported back to my childhood watching the X-men animated series when you played the music during the first skit. Then I remembered how old that show was and by extension how old I am and got a bit sad. So something of a mixed blessing really.

@snorpenbass4196

13 күн бұрын

I mean...there's a new X-Men '97 cartoon (that picks up where the old cartoon left off - literally the same continuity), so you can pretend like you watched that instead? 😉

@iank472

13 күн бұрын

@@snorpenbass4196 I haven't had a chance to watch it yet. Does it have the same intro song? If so I can perhaps delude myself into thinking I'm a couple of decades younger!

The X-Men skit was lit

Loot . . . I remember the horrible day when Waterdeep didn't have any bags of holding in the entire city or any of the other green items we wanted for a level 8 party. Ever since we were unable to take a dragon's horde with us that is all we were gunning for lol. Every one of our characters were loaded down with gold and couldn't find anything that we wanted to spend it on (at least I used DnD beyond and didn't have to calculate the weight since DM literally said you can max out your carry weight with gold lol). I suppose we should consider ourselves lucky we made it back to Waterdeep without being mugged.

Just install a module to track elevation. You use foundry. Being good for flying is explicitly an advantage foundry has over roll20

@solosynapse

13 күн бұрын

Also, every encounter should probably have enemies that can do ranged damage, encounters indoors & in caves sometimes, etc. Makes flight more balanced instantly.

That forst story made me think of that Daniel Schloss bit where he says if theres 10 guys and one of them is bad but the other 9 do nothing, then they might as well not be there

Intro: "This isn't really a horror story" then procedes to tell a horror story.

That DM was past the point of pulling out of his portable hole for dino nuke math. He was scraping with an MRE spork. Coming from a party where, if a player can QED the math for shenanigans, the DM will yes/and to an extent; I am unreasonably upset with the idea of an object reaching terminal velocity after sixty feet. I'm glad the group had fun without experiencing 'Nam flashbacks of parents hovering while they did their homework.

I got to play a Vampire one shot, and it was kinda fun. I played a Toreador, as I wanted to be the "sexy seductive" type of Vampire. I read they can be very passionate about things, but move on from them quickly, so I played him as someone who talks and acts very nice about people he wants something from. Then ghosts them after he gets what he wants.

My rule for loot as a DM is that I don't give random loot unless the players are searching things for loot that I did not expect them to search for loot. So I still reward them for exploration, but for the most part if they get into a fight or they open a chest, it's going to have items that I specifically picked out, because I feel random loot for everything isn't immersive. I like to have the loot make sense for what's happening. You'll more likely find healing potions on intelligent races but would not find one on a wolf. I can even give side quest hooks this way, players fight a large beast, among the loot is a broken spear imbedded in the beast, which can lead the party to finding whoever fought the beast previously and left the spear, and things like that.

Was not expecting someone to bombed the area by being a brontosaurus

In regards recommending classes & such, I *do* think those things can be useful for pre-existing adventure modules. Like Pathfinder 2e Adventure Paths (their modules) have gotten into the habit of putting out sets of both recommended classes as well as classes they recommend you don't play. As a perhaps extreme example, there's an AP called Blood Lords campaign takes place in a nation (Geb) run by undead. As such most healing magic, as it typically harms undead in Pathfinder, are actually illegal and can get you arrested/executed. I would LOVE to know that before I sit down at the table playing a healing focused cleric, just as much as there are a ton of character concepts that won't gel with other campaign conceptually especially when there are other types of healing magics (Bards for example) that aren't illegal there. A DM banning the option for a player to avoid the headache of play (since playing such a cleric could derail Blood Lords FAST) and the DM simply doesn't want that to be the focus of the game (since it's not the point of the module) is valid too imo. Now if it's just the DM being a jerk or something (as it sounds like the DM was in that Amateur railroading experience was) it is not cool and them deciding which class you should play certainly shouldn't be okay.

UGGGHHH MY LOVE SWAIN ON THE THUMBNAIL

Story 2 gm just inadvertantky handed his players the BBEG eraser

I rememberer two tokens and a blue. I also remember never reaching max level because VoG only ever gave me one piece of armor. Also as someone with an Aaracokra we put a boarder around my token when he’s in the air. Though that’s on dnd beyond.

This came at a great time, as I just finished my list of queued videos.

I was never a big fan of paladins but Evelyn from dice camera action changed my mind.

The DM needs to just write an f-ing BOOK!

Two tokens and blue… when you did that reference my brain was just like “he said the thing! He said the thing!”

Love the new art, very cute 😊

"After that session I still wanted to play." Ohh, why?

Knew I was in for one heck of a story session when I saw the comments discussing Vampire the Masquerade 😂 I have never loved tabletop the way I loved VtM but I have also never had drama like I've had at a VtM table - multiply that drama by 1000 for Vampire LARPers

1st story. Reminds me of a less successful version of a plan from an episode of The Unexpectables. It helps to have Operation Dino Drop land on a cluster of enemies.

Some illusions do have some level of physical reality, but yeah, D&D doesn't have MANY options like that. On 2d VTT there's often a number attached to tokens that usually defaults to 0... and filling that in is usually where altitude can be marked.

Nice to see some VTM stories in here :D

I played in a CoS game with barely any loot. Got to level 9 with like 30gp total from starting at level 1. We did lose nearly every fight though and failed every intelligence check as the wizard changed class after the start of the campaign and no one wanted to change their character.

to be fair to the illusion of the town, some illusion spells can manifest physical real thing by making it from shadowfell stuff. Spells like illusory dragon and creation are good examples Not saying that it's a good excuse what the dm did, but it is definitly possible to do so in a dnd plot

Your revamped (hah!) avatar looks so good!

Flying being "abused" is such a minor issue. Archers love targets without cover, and dungeons/caves don't make flying very useful.

I've never heard the Bene Gesserit be called Bean Gesserit. That's hilarious.

We've got a friend who is a sexual harasser in our very first story. Great. The goldfish incident... yeah, had a similar "my character died because I'm dumb" moment one time. My character fell down a hole that was miles deep, because I though they'd be SLIDING down, not FALLING down. That last story feels like the GM took ALL the pages from the Edward Cullen, Bella Swan, & Jacob Black Book of Handling Other People's Romance.

Love the updated rat! Looks fantastic! :)

That lip color looks good on you. I think some eyeliner and mascara would bring it all together

I really love your avatar! I haven’t seen one of your vids in a while (turned off my history / recommendations because Utoob was trying to rage bate me lol). I have pet rats, so seeing a rat character anywhere is special, especially a non-evil rat character. Chaotic alignment is typical for most rats though XD 🐀

Sounds like they were jealous. They should try and better themselves so they can find a wife too.

Everyone Hayes flying, but my party has recently fought a group of giant owl riding bandits, with one of them free falling from one owl to the next each time they killed a bandit

Prologue story: "You're reading my mind with these telepathy powers you just magically gained out of nowhere? Uh...huh. Riiiiight. Okay, here's what I'm really thinking, all my secrets: Everything I already told you guys. That's it. Oh, and right now I'm thinking 'What's up with Creepy Guy, he looks constipated...no, wait, maybe he crapped his pants?'. Also, I suddenly gain the Wish spell and you just literally crapped your pants."

I’m gonna side completely with the Brontosaurus guy here. RAW falling deals 1d6 damage per 10 ft, with an absolute maximum of 20d6, averaging at 60 damage and maximizing at 120 The player made the right call polymorphing, he turned into a large durable creature whose Hp would eat the damage from the fall, leaving him unharmed since damage done in polymorph/wild shape goes to the creature’s hp, not the character’s, unless it’s more than how much hp the creature had. It’s not the player’s fault that the GM went “hold up, we gotta Game Theory this shit,” instead of using the simple written rules that everyone was assumed to be operating by.