An evil campaign where the "BBEG" is the Chosen One out to topple your party's empire sounds epic. That is _not_ what that DM did. They just wanted to play out their fantasy at other's expense.

How little control does someone have that they'd rather leave an entire server and game over not being able to say one specific word?

@davidtherwhanger6795

4 ай бұрын

If it is something you say often without any thought to it, you have very little control. You will have to stop and think about every word you say, or it will slip in without you even realizing it. An example is myself. I was in the Navy and I do cuss like a sailor still (it's been 30 years). I've tried controlling it, but still finding that when I get going something best left out of polite conversation, and possibly physically impossible, will slip out. So if some one uses anything a lot, in the heat of the moment it will come out.

@Nyghtking

4 ай бұрын

@@davidtherwhanger6795 Thats still not great, because in what non-racist scenario would you be using the n-word enough for it to become compulsion when you speak?

@deltagearadvanced5140

4 ай бұрын

I do think the entirety of the situation is a bit... Convenient. Like... All black American group, goes out of their way to specifically talk about one HYPER specific word, etc... Plus why bring that one word up? Idk... Either this is fake or this group tries to race bait people for clout. Just... I'm getting bad and off vibes from the whole situation.

@Sanodi21

4 ай бұрын

@@deltagearadvanced5140 Because it's a word tied to the times of slavery and was used as a derogatory word towards black slaves.

@davidtherwhanger6795

4 ай бұрын

@@Nyghtking Myself no I have never. But I have heard many use it literally in every sentence. I guarantee they did not even realize they used it so often. To them it was just the way they talked.

*rolls natural 20* "It misses." "Cool. Great game man, I'll be heading out now."

@xStrayKnightx

4 ай бұрын

Yeah, isn’t a natural 20 supposed to be an automatic hit, regardless of the actual AC?

@ChibiRandom13

4 ай бұрын

Some people don't play with the crit 1/crit 20 rules, but that was still clearly BS lmao

@patrickedger2448

4 ай бұрын

@@xStrayKnightx As Chibi says, it does depend on if your DM houserules that out or not, but by default, yes. This is simply fantasy fulfillment at its most blatant.

@IneXtrikabul

3 ай бұрын

...The cannon of *who?*

@rabaneteist

2 ай бұрын

yeah idk even discounting crit it's just wtf hits if that doesn't? why even bother at that point

Hi! Pink here. Glad you liked the story. If you folks want to hear about the campaigns, I'd be happy to share. Also, big thanks for sharing my story, Crispy. I really enjoyed your narration XD PS: I should have included pronunciation for the names, now that I think about it. Oh yeah, and "THE PALADIN"

@shadiafifi54

4 ай бұрын

How the hell didn't the other players block you from ever DMing again? I know I would have demanded you don't DM again.

@YuainLucky

4 ай бұрын

@@shadiafifi54 They kinda did, but I was very insistent and we were different people back then. They trusted me more than what they should've. Nowadays I know that I wouldn't be a good DM for them, cause I just messed up one-too-many times. Also, we were irl friends, and most of those games were in person.

@cervicalvertebrea

4 ай бұрын

I realized Pink was the narrator when the story kept following Pink through events that another person wouldn't have taken such interest in.

@YuainLucky

4 ай бұрын

@@cervicalvertebrea Yeah, it was kinda obvious, but I wasn't really trying to hide it.

@ninjakat26

4 ай бұрын

Good to see you growing as a DM. I kind of laughed when you were scum saving an actual D&D game because I didn’t know this was something people would think to try. Like Crispy said, we all start as not so great DM’s but it’s about learning from our mistakes and changing how we approach things.

Crispy: "PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" Astarion: 🥺

"Nat 20!" "That misses." "No, it doesn't. Nat 20 always hits, that's RAW. If you don't want it to do extra damage, whatever, but it hits." "No it doesn't!" "Ok, bye."

@davidspring4003

4 ай бұрын

@@Oof-wn3zl that just turns a critical hit into a normal hit, it doesn't make a critical hit miss.

@Oof-wn3zl

4 ай бұрын

@@davidspring4003shit you right, my bad

"Bullcrab" is actually an alternate name for the Tasmanian giant crab. Which would probably get a similar reaction to the bull in the clip, so ...

I was watching this while my dad was nearby and he heard the nat 20 that missed [he's been playing DND since it came out, basically, he was a teen at the time IIRC] and he was so upset lol "A NAT 20 CAN'T FAIL! YOU CAN HAVE ARMOUR CLASS 1000 AND IT WOULD STILL HIT!" I still can't stop laughing XD thanks for reading these horror stories Crispy, my dad and I really enjoy them! :>

@Xvladin

2 ай бұрын

Interesting opinion, but I don't personally agree lol

It's really bad when the DM has main character syndrome. That's a worst case scenario.

The Paladin DM is lucky he didn't get his ass kicked after pulling that stunt.

@teheles

4 ай бұрын

The worst part is that OP's friend says this has never happened before. It's very strange. Maybe something (a sudden, life-changing event) happened in his life to teleport him straight to the dark side.

I am always baffled by the Uber DMPCs, especially when the DM defends it when the players say something

Playing as the monsters in a one shot, fighting off the good guys is a neat idea, I’ve done something myself where the players were young dragons trying to recover their ancient mother’s stolen property. But it only works if you’re honest and open about what you’re doing, no rug-pulling where you pretend it’s a normal campaign, and absolutely don’t throw overpowered DMPCs at them

Paladin DM utterly fails his self-awareness check

The second story (with the super detailed economic management stuff) reminded me of a FFG Star Wars campaign that fell apart due to most of the players either having scheduling conflicts or not meshing with each other. After getting our beat up old space ship (purchased on credit), we did a couple of cargo runs in an attempt at scrounging up more cash (both to pay off the loan, but also to upgrade gear). And too much of the time (at least IMO) during those sessions was spent trying to figure out the financials including cost of food and lodging, so the players and GM talked things over, and the GM decided to rule say that whenever we travelled somewhere we hauled enough cargo to cover general maintenance.

Holy crap that visual metaphor in the first (second?) story is perfect - the DM literally slapping action figures together instead of letting the players help tell the story. I can't believe I never made the connection before because I make fun of certain movies/directors for this exact issue all the time.

The seafaring one could have worked if the treasure on the island was revealed first. Then, upon pulling out the calculator, the DM starts dropping major hints... You'll NEVER afford this. You must find a way to get to that island despite having no money. And what a shame... a harbour full of ships, but none of you can afford to purchase them. If only you could get your hands on one... And encourage them to pirate a ship! (or curry favour with a fishing boat or join the local navy) and any time they try to solve it with money they could pull out the calculator again as a clear indicator that's not the way...

Oh Crispy... you're loving that Hazbin Hotel Clip a little too much now :P Granted, that IS meme worthy

Third Story: Yeah, it sounds like a weird version of "DM vs Players" where instead of being outwardly adversarial against the players, the DM is using the players as essentially testers for him to pit his busted garbage characters against to make himself feel like he's made the coolest, strongest character ever. It's a super-weird thing to do. This is a man that just needs any video game and a Game Shark to boost his stats to beyond max, and he'll be happy. Very weird.

Crispy, have you ever thought to do a series where you review other people's 5e homebrew and fix it if it's broken? Love your vids.

@sugardunkarton7803

4 ай бұрын

That sounds cool

@lolmatter0

4 ай бұрын

I would love something like that, It could help me balance and make my own homebrews!

Intro story: Wow, that person sounds almost cartoonishly racist. OP and their friends dodged a massive bullet. First story: We love a good redemption arc! Congratulations, Pink! (I do wonder how old that slap-happy player was, though. I’d kind of understand if they were a young child, but older kids and adults should really know better than to get physically violent over a pretend game.) Second story: Pro DM tip-if you want to run Poverty Simulator 4000, you should advertise it as such so that you get the very few people in this world who would actually want to play it, not people who are looking for a typical D&D campaign and will be very put out at not getting the epic seafaring adventure you advertised. Third story: Obviously I don’t know these people, so this is just a guess, but my theory about this DM is that they tried to play this paladin as a player in a campaign, but things didn’t go as planned, so they decided to just be the DM and let Mr. Unpronounceable McPaladinface succeed at everything just like they wanted him to, neglecting to think of how the actual players would feel about this.

@YuainLucky

4 ай бұрын

Pink here. We were teens, around the same age. Also, thank you! I'm glad I got past that, I'm way better now.

Congrats Pink! I have had similar issues as a DM; balancing, making too powerful NPCs, and a world a bit too chaotic for most of my IRL friends. Also I tried a lot of awful, janky homebrew systems before I decided to make my life easier and just use D&D 5E with a little tweaking here and there. Biting the bullet and placing a "looking for players" ad on a D&D Discord server was my final step to get the wonderful party I have now. I think I have grown a lot as a DM and I hope I continue to provide my players with a fun and interesting game for years to come.

@YuainLucky

4 ай бұрын

Hi, Pink here! Thank you for your kind words. I hope I get to DM for my players for many years to come as well.

The economy idea has some good potential but mainly in it's idea. Having a seafarer adventure start with some kind of tedious but quicker economy really shows how much that money they gain by doing the job would mean to them, an escape from that tedious life is on the line. Of course they would go, and now they have a shared experience and goal. But no, instead they made it slow and boring. There's potential here if your players are into it. Big 'If' I know but that's how it goes, each party has a preference and a slower start like that isn't for everyone.

I mean who doesn't like being an audience to their DM's power trip? 😄 Help

I gotta admit, there was potential in the "paladin boss" story. Reminded me of a certain streamed game's annual Halloween one-shot series. This version could have been improved by letting the players keep their original abilities (or grant monster variants if they're too incompatible) or be about getting converted into monsters for a more balanced adventurer party. On the one hand it's a shame the DM failed but on the other, those ideas are free game.

Rest in peace david (i really want to stay at your house starts playing*)

@legomaniac213

4 ай бұрын

Fun fact, you can actually get his drink at Afterlife. However, one of the ingredients in it is cola. Even in death, the dude can't catch a break.

@kevlonk

4 ай бұрын

*uncontrollable sobbing*

@ArcCaravan

4 ай бұрын

I suddenly want to listen to a metal cover of that song.

The initial habits of that Pink guy sound exactly like what I fear one of the other players of my table is gonna turn out like if he manages to get the homebrew campaign he's planning going 😰

@YuainLucky

4 ай бұрын

Hi, Pink here. Let me tell you, I HOPE they don't turn out that way. TRUST ME... I KNOW...

@cavik977

4 ай бұрын

@@YuainLucky Hi 👋 And so do I, though him not even acknowledging some of my concerns (his plans being too rail-roady or his NPCs being too overpowered for instance) doesn't bode well

@YuainLucky

4 ай бұрын

@@cavik977 Yeah... Just in case, be ready for the worst case scenario.

I'm so glad there's a new Crispy video today. I'm currently sick in bed.

@tsifirakiehl4250

4 ай бұрын

I hope you feel better soon!

@YuainLucky

4 ай бұрын

Get better soon!

These are fun to listen to while I work on the _hundreds if not thousands of techniques for my homebrew system_

Few things fill me with more dread than when a story starts with someone telling you their race gender or sexuality. Cause you know that means it was sadly probably relevant.

@ArcCaravan

4 ай бұрын

I honestly only notice mentioned race being relevant compared to gender.

I'm about to get back into DMing after a multi year hiatus myself. Running a game tomorrow in fact. I stopped because my last game ended in two players getting to blows over one blowing a social encounter by initiating combat randomly because he was bored. I decided I wasn't cut out for it but I miss the hobby.

"There is a reason for your pointless deaths"

Second Story: "Players of mine? More like FOOLS of mine!" Fuckin' gottem, Crispy. A+ burn.

Funny thing about story 2 that reminded me of my own group. About a year ago i started a Traveller campain (sci fi game thats more like firefly and cowboy bepop) and i started them off in a more horror style mission with "zombies" made from an experimental drug, then an espeniage/guard type mission with a dictator. After that they got gifted their first ship and was planning to pick up some passengers for some quick money before going to the next planet. Now mind you, Traveller has an extensive Trade Ruleset with trade codes, speculative trading, so many tables on how to contact buyers and sellers and all that. But they didnt mention trading, hust picking up passangers which only takes like 15 minutes at most. So during the next week i made NPCs as passangers for a little screwing around while they were travelling to the next planet. Next session happens and the first thing out of one player mouth was "hey does this planet have any africultural goods that a technical planet would want at an inflated price?" After that, cue 4.5 hours of speculative trading, dice tables, looking up every trade code to see what that means for the different worlds, and lots of haggling with NPCs i made up on the fly. After that session I apologized to the group thinking i effed up with such a dry number filled session. Cue my shocked face when they all said they had a bunch of fun learning the rules and now want to get more into merchant trading in my game world (galaxy) after this next adventure (job) they picked up. So all in all, some players love the menutia of all the numbers. Especially when profit is involved

*Sigh* Why is it that when someone completely ruins a campaign, they’re so frequently playing a Paladin? STOP GIVING MY FAVORITE CLASS A BAD NAME!!!

Is the DM from the minimum wage slog the same guy from that one story who complained about how only nation states can commission ships, and how his character would never hang out with the ships officers?

The paladin, is a typical exemple of a DM who should just write novels.

gdamn crispy sketches on point

The return of the Loser, Baby joke AND another Game of Thrones reference? You're spoiling me! Also, love to hear glory stories like Pink's. 💜

@YuainLucky

4 ай бұрын

Glad to hear that! Always willing to share more stories.

I'm really sad he was such a garbage DM. Hearing "Spiral Knights" brought back nostalgia and I'd totally play a homebrew campaign surrounding it if done well. And yes, I would probably get myself killed trying to pet the Snarbolax.

@YuainLucky

3 ай бұрын

Pink here! Glad to see that I'm not the only one here who remembers the game. Also, I agree that a lot of people would probably try to pet the Snaebolax. I know I would too XD I am planning on running a Spiral Knights campaign one of these days. Let's hope I don't fuck things up this time around.

That seafaring campaign story...why would I want to manage a budget and work menial jobs in a game I play for fun?

That Theon Greyjoy clip took me tf out 😂

Crispy what lipstick do you wear?? It looks so good on you!

@RaptorRocka

4 ай бұрын

Don't think they're wearing it here.

The DM in the second-to-last story was playing Stick RPG and decided 2000s simulator-game mechanics was what he was missing from his campaigns. :B

@joshuad3507

4 ай бұрын

I mean can we take note of a minor red flag with OP's narration (not necessarily saying they are lying or purposefully ommitting, just found this weird): This was only as far as session 2. No session 3 was set. Idk how long the sessions went for and the calculator was a bit excessive(could have preplanned that), but the first two sessions while needing to be a good start, doesn't really define how the campaign will go. Just feels like some important info is missing from this story to really explain any of this.

@joshuad3507

4 ай бұрын

Other weird thing is, unless I misread this, why did this sound like a long running campaign when this was only session 2?

@dragonfan8647

4 ай бұрын

​@@joshuad3507 It sounds like a mismatch in play style and expectations. DM wanted a rags to riches, heavy resource management type of campaign. Players wanted immediate action and adventure without worrying about logistics.

I want to be clear. I did a lot of beginner mistakes that are bound to happen starting out as a DM almost 30 years ago. But what i never did was the maincharacter DMPC. I just don't get it. That being said: Beginner DMs - Making mistakes is okay. It's normal. Just listen to your players. If ALL your players have a good time, you're not doing anything wrong.

Damn, all my legos are in the garage. My nephew will be getting them though, when he's old enough to not try eating them.

Another good episode, thank you, Crispy! Love your narration and your skits have me dying 😂

the random hazbin reference jumpscared me

In my current homebrew Spelljammer campaign which is coming up on the two year mark here in a few months, I used a captain NPC whichwas overpowered at the start, with a few tricks up their sleeves, to help balance out combat, over time, as characters have leveled and received magic items I've had this NPC become less and less involved as they aren't needed as much, and I want to make sure as much of the focus of the story is based on the player choices, the NPC basically just runs backup, and provides some minor insights here and there. The NPC is vague enough in terms of skillset that my players don't even know what class they are. We're finally working towards the climax of part one of this campaign, but so far my players seem to be enjoying themselves, their player agency has in some cases circumvented entire encounters and events I had planned, so I am just going to stash those away for lore. In my campaign, I have a few BBEGs that tie to different arcs and quests, their work still continues if the players don't opt to encounter them, and time marches on as other parts of the Astral Sea now have to deal with a threat that wasn't handled at the time. It seems to work for me. Also when I plan encounters I make them as more of a set piece so as the stage changes, I can still reuse the set piece if it wasn't used previously, with some appropriate changes.

I am STILL a bad DM, but I am working on it.

Like, I was in a Westmarch server that did have costs for rent per day, and the charges the characters would get for not having a room (was literally like several times the cost of some of the more expensive rent locations) The difference was, that was a Westmarch, and even then, I thought it was a bit much. The DM for "This S*** costs you" just seems extraordinarily boring. Like, almost like a competitive level of boring. I personally, as a DM, would only do stuff like that if the players wanted to, and even then, it wouldn't exactly be something that I would invest in personally.

The DM getting too into the economics reminds me of a player in one of my games. He's a nice guy and a very good roleplayer, but he likes RPG crunch a little too much. He proposed the idea of the players being employed in a travelling tavern. Okay, fine, the setting I'm homebrewing makes extensive use of caravans after all. But then he started talking about delegating roles among other players and getting bonuses from the tavern facilities, and that's where I had to pump the brakes. It's great that he's so passionate about this idea, but we're playing D&D, not a management sim. They're still part of the travelling tavern though, so perhaps I can use the downtime activities in Xanathar's to enrich that part of the game for them.

19:10 What do you mean, it missed? Do you not know how nat 20's work? Attack rolls are the one thing that a nat 20 can NEVER fail you on-- not only is that a guaranteed hit, it's also a crit. And if this is 5e, I have some serious questions as to how you got an AC higher than 27.

The paladin! He strikes again. The White Knight of narratives.

Why is it always a Paladin? Like WHY?!

Ayyy 1 minute mark! I love your vids!

THE PALADIN!

Here is how I'd handle the ship thing. I'd KEEP the boring BORING first session, these are returning players and they might have patience for one, and have THAT be the call for adventure. That their lives were so monotonous and dull that of COURSE they want to be adventurers.

Story #2 is just Current Economy Simulator

THE PALADIN 💥👌

The DM can literally always, at any time just say: "Rocks fall, everyone dies." and it'd have the same effect as the one-shot at the end there. Except at least he wouldn't have stolen 3 to 5 hours of the players' lives to run his stupid little narrative. When you're the DM, you killing your players isn't something to be proud of, nor is it something to absentmindedly ask them post-game how they felt about. BECAUSE HOW DO YOU THINK THEY'D FEEL, AFTER YOU KILLED THEIR CHARACTERS AND THEN THE MONSTERS YOU REPLACED THEM WITH FOR YOUR DICK STROKING SESSION?! God, I'm sorry, but that last story just pisses me off. Screw that guy!

Uhhh... Yeah. The DM with the calculator definitely needed it shoved somewhere! (And that first group really sounded like the they had the rac!sm going BOTH ways!)

I do very much appreciate the Hazbin Hotel clips. :D

wait.... Open Sandbox pirate game that's really all about book keeping and accounting?` OH MY GOD It's Uncharted Waters!

The Paladin

Is there a D&D version of Halo, i think it would be fun to play as a sangheili.

If you want the experience of saving and building a ship, just play MMOs like Archeage or Black desert. Don’t try to drag people along in a tabletop setting for that sort of thing.

@Xvladin

2 ай бұрын

No, you can do that in a table top setting, it sounds really cool, just find people who want to do that

The paladin. 👁👄👁

the paladin!

dutch van der linde, you'll always be famous

Paladin!!!

Bruv... A werewolf isn't a big deal. I 1 tapped one with Guiding bolt at level 3 once. then again I'm thinking 5e

most DMPCs are bad because they make the players feel like side characters. the paladin DMPC was worse because it made the players feel like cannon fodder. they're killed by unfair over-powered monsters, then given over-powered monsters to play as to be killed by the even more unfair over-powered DMPC.

Hello people from an hour after this came out

Angel Dust rift 😊

paladin!

get this: i don't think you should specify the no racism rule. if someone's so inclined, you want it to come out sooner rather than later, right? most people won't fall into that pit, even if it's just basic decorum, and the ones who will, you don't want sticking around until they have a joker moment months or even years down the line.

@Tintelinus

4 ай бұрын

On the other hand specifying the no racism rule may instantly turn away the type of person that would be upset at a non racism rule. Similar to how saying your game is queer friendly is partly to scare away the people that arent lol.

The paladin :p

Husk is the best man

cispy taven

Paladin

The paladin

That third story is like capitalism the rpg

Intro Story: "What if I say it in a different language?" ...What? Like, putting "el" before the slur?

5:30 Undertale

@YuainLucky

4 ай бұрын

Funny enough... I think Undertale was out by the time the campaign happened.

Ooo, come on Crispy! Up your game, take out those PCs a bit more often! One Permanently dead PC per campaign isn't too much to ask, reminds your players how high the stakes are. Not that it should be a goal mind you, but more a litmus test for creating balanced deadly encounters. Like you, I enjoy running high tension combat encounters. Threading the needle between not doing a TPK while still occasionally killing a character I find is the sweet spot. It's even better if you manage to make those deaths significant to the story!

Am starting to feel like there are too many cut aways

I will be fair the person, he left amicably AND I have seen groups where the black friends of the group REALLY push that word a lot. So I can fully understand that word invading someone's vernacular outside for nefarious reasons.

@Xvladin

2 ай бұрын

If he's saying it casually, and he's my friend and knows me, I'm not going to just not say a word just because it COULD be racist. He knows I'm not racist, so what does saying a word change? Lol My white friends care a LOT more about not saying "the n word" than my black friends.

Kid complaining about the costs of living and doing jobs in down time.. this is old school d&d and is a very popular style of play. You just can't comprehend it cause you weren't born yet and never experienced this kind of game.

@CrispysTavern

4 ай бұрын

Sounds fucking boring but you do you man. Don't mind me, I'll just be over here making fun of ya.

@Xvladin

2 ай бұрын

​@CrispysTavern you don't understand what it was like to okay DND back then, and he doesn't understand not ever being able to own a home because you were born in the wrong time. You two should kiss because you have so much in common.

@scruffypuppet8633

2 ай бұрын

@CrispysTavern What a very short sighted and self absorbed perspective of gaming. You have alot of maturing to do, there are many types of players out there who enjoy many types of games, strategy, simulationist, narrative, its like saying anyone who plays tycoon games and not first person shooters is wrong. Your just kind of a douche bag.

@scruffypuppet8633

2 ай бұрын

@Xvladin I am only 30. I can't afford a home either. I just enjoy OSR gaming and ain't shitting on other people's tastes in game and acting like simulation game play is a bad thing when in reality it's just a preference... it's like saying "anyone who plays first person shooters is wrong. You should only play RPGs."

@Xvladin

2 ай бұрын

@scruffypuppet8633 I agree. CrispysTavern is acting like a weirdo here, and all he does is reads reddit posts lol

The Paladin