This is fine. 🔥

@rockybalboa6969

Жыл бұрын

Pin this

@anb7922

Жыл бұрын

Wait so that was you on the rollercoaster?!😂😂

@c.m.1248

Жыл бұрын

So can you have a romantic relationship with just friendship, respect, aligned values but no attraction?

@IAmMarkManson

Жыл бұрын

@@c.m.1248 attraction is implied. If you don’t have it, that can also be a problem. Although a different one.

@ceekei_

Жыл бұрын

@@IAmMarkManson Agreed. Would lead to curiosity in others, eventual cheating, and that would spell the end of that.

when he said “just to make sure i ruin your sunday completely” that really hit hard since it is, in fact, friday.

@ironicinorironic.

Жыл бұрын

😂

@Azurethewolf168

Жыл бұрын

Maybe he meant to upload this later?

@Gearhart_Music

Жыл бұрын

perhaps the majority of the views on this video will come on Sunday? LOL!

@johrathbun

Жыл бұрын

I was definitely confused for a minute, ha!

@elderaze

Жыл бұрын

or maybe you watch it on Friday but it sinks in on Sunday? xD

"The only way to truly enjoy the love in your life is to make something else more important than the love in your life." Thankyou Mark.

@umamii936

Жыл бұрын

That’s why I’m building up an army of killer geese!

@safwanshow

Жыл бұрын

As always love your self and go to the gym ! :)

@inconnu4961

Жыл бұрын

@@umamii936 LMAO! Sweet! and what do you plan to do with these killer geese? But before you answer that, a quick question: we good, right? We good?

@inconnu4961

Жыл бұрын

@@SurfyStories Stephen Curry, or spice curry?

@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

Жыл бұрын

❤

"We cannot let love consume us. We cannot sacrifice our identities or self-worth to it because the moment we do that, we lose love and we lose ourselves." Mark Manson

@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

Жыл бұрын

❤

@sibusisomasango8126

Жыл бұрын

Uu

@sarrystylesofficial

9 ай бұрын

This is true

@EmotiveUnion

9 ай бұрын

Balancing Relationships and Goals: Finding Harmony m.kzread.info/dash/bejne/nGFnu7h-nM7dqrw.html

@ErnestNorris-ny5pd

8 ай бұрын

Hi

"All you need is love" makes sense when love is not restricted to only refer to romantic relationships but instead encompasses all our passionate experiences of awe and appreciation for life. Love is the answer but it's not solely about romantic relationships. Love is a way of being, it is oneness, it's seeking the highest and most joyful experience. Acting out of love is you at your strongest, most motivated, and most sincere.

@thehealingfairee

10 ай бұрын

This was my interpretation of his song! Love isn't all you need to make a relationship work. But love is all you need to find the joy of living

@zero-pl3tt

10 ай бұрын

Also, despite somehow becoming a reddit “fact”, Lennon didn’t beat his wives. According to his first wife he slapped her once, which while awful, i don’t really think is enough to make him a wife beater. And Yoko also has said he never hit her. According to his son he was certainly verbally abusive though.

@johnstackhouse1706

10 ай бұрын

​@@zero-pl3ttand according to himself he was "A hitter"

@zero-pl3tt

10 ай бұрын

@@johnstackhouse1706 He did say that, yes. But it is also true that both his wives denied him being a wife beater. That would mean he hit random women or something, which is also not a flattering picture, but still, not a fact as many on the internet would like you to believe. Also, although this is not really related, that quote comes from the 1980 Playboy interview, and one thing people don't seem to mention that much is that he at least sounds genuinely remorseful for his past actions there, and while it's up to the people he hurt to forgive him or not, it at least makes it clear that he wasn't as black and white as some people, like in the beginning of this video, portray him as.

@a1175779

10 ай бұрын

What about the Christian way of "gods love"?

I couldn’t agree any better that love alone is not enough to maintain a healthy relationship. When my husband proposed to me 28 year ago, I did something out of the norm: Instead of getting emotional and over excited about a marriage proposal that does not guarantee a healthy and successful marriage, I rather proposed we have a meaningful conversation before taking this big step. We discussed our needs, our values, what respect means to us, how we will handle adversities, kids etc ( even though one can’t predict the future) We had a global idea of what it meant to be in each other’s lives. We were both excited about this constructive conversation, we put everything into writing and it literally became our covenant before our official marriage. 28 years and counting and we keep renewing our relationship. It is a helpful approach to get to understand each other. Thank you Mark for the awareness and pearl of wisdom. By the way, your wife is a beautiful woman.

@chromatika67

Жыл бұрын

Thank you. I love this.

@mishkaatrawjee1271

Жыл бұрын

Such a wholesome story. Thank you for sharing this with the world.

@inconnu4961

Жыл бұрын

Meh, she's ok! Mark could have done much better, but as long as he is happy, then thats fine.

@jcqwater8713

Жыл бұрын

gosh, thats so beautiful and real thanks for sharing this ❤ God bless your marriage

@vladraduandrei5227

11 ай бұрын

wow your husband propoesed to you prety much when i was born(i m 27 turning 28)

My five year relationship with my girlfriend ended last week and I’ve been devastated ever since. I really needed this video, it sheds a light on many glaring problems we had and the work I need to do on myself before getting into another relationship.

@brillcouncil4584

Жыл бұрын

I'm sorry to hear about that and glad you are moving forward one step at a time. Good luck with your journey, this will make you more ready for the right partnership in time. It's gonna suck for a while, yet, though. Courage.

@Azurethewolf168

Жыл бұрын

Sad to hear that, I’ve had many moments where the girl I talked was almost about to be my gf, or if I had done it right I would’ve gotten the results I wanted. Maybe it’s for the best, it probably would’ve ended and made me feel worse

@TheKrispyfort

Жыл бұрын

Process the grief

@Josh-jm5vg

Жыл бұрын

I am 3 months out of a 7 year, it gets better. A book that really helped me is ‘Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It’ by Naval Ravikant. Good luck! 😊

@yukeemusic

Жыл бұрын

really sorry to hear that bro! wish you all the best!

My fiancé and I recently had this conversation about why we enjoy being around one another. It’s not because we feel butterflies anymore, and it’s not because of the crazy sex drive (I’m eight months pregnant and neither of us are feeling in the mood at the moment 😂). But we agreed, it’s because we miss the other person when they’re not around. It’s a wonderful friendship, and we both agreed, the friendship is far more important than needing to feel romantic. Sure, there are times we enjoy the romance, but just enjoying the other person’s presence is the most important thing, for us anyway.

@asterwild

10 ай бұрын

beautiful

@jaysouthmusic8230

10 ай бұрын

And that’s how it should be. Wish more relationships were like that

@vicentemorales2533

9 ай бұрын

When you enjoy so much simply spending time with each other that to me is the definitive indicator that that couple is going places, if you're the happiest just by talking and sharing moments and laughing together, that's the best sign of a great combination of two people

@roses6564

7 ай бұрын

What in the world do people think "romantic" means? It's not sex. That's lust. It's attraction + friendship (with values aligned and all that) + mind compatibility + spiritual communion. It's EVERYTHING. Romantic is not about having "sexy feelings" towards another.

@semp223

6 ай бұрын

This is fucking awesome.

I think often we confuse infatuation for love. I think love at its core includes things like a combined pursuit of life, a levelheaded trust, and a romantic attraction. I think the biggest disservice stories in popular media has done is to model relationships that have long moments of tension from lack of communication coming to a breaking point. Emotions make for a hollow experience of narrative and life if they are devoid of any substance further than passing feelings.

3:21 - 1) Love does not equal compatibility 5:43 - 2) Love does not solve relationship problems 7:14 - 3) Love is usually not worth sacrificing yourself for

@Azurethewolf168

Жыл бұрын

4) lust is not love

@cloudzero2049

Жыл бұрын

@@Azurethewolf168 5) What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more..

@dewatajo2442

Жыл бұрын

@@cloudzero2049 😂

@T2Master01

Жыл бұрын

The greatest love you can have IS to sacrifice your life for the other. The sacrifice of your life doesnt necessarily mean to die but rather to let your own ways die and modify your identity to conform or jive with the other person. This is why there is a song called "love is a battlefield" and the battle is to settle into your new identity with your partner which could take years.

@Azurethewolf168

Жыл бұрын

@@cloudzero2049 6) lol

I could relate to Mark's wife when she said she studied her parents' relationship and took notes on what she wouldn't want in her own. I know focusing on the negative tends to be considered unhealthy, but I think the negative experiences in others can help us move in better directions.

@gedr7664

Жыл бұрын

people who ignore negative experiences or think pain has no value, will never get to a place where those negative experiences or pains are gone

@fatimaahmedkhairtajmoon9699

Жыл бұрын

True

@user-ku9xx1gw3v

Жыл бұрын

Mistakes are best teachers, when they're someone else's, they're also saving you time

@claudes.whitacre1241

Жыл бұрын

Made ma laugh. Thanks.

@LeeHarvey81

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely. I learned a lot about what not to do with my life by observing my parents. Even the bad parents have something to teach their children... just not in the way they might like.

I find that growth is one piece that that some people fail to embrace in a relationship. It’s like having a million dollars in the bank and expecting it to always be there and provide for your happiness, failing to consider bills, inflation, and emergencies.

love is not scarce, but your self-respect is, so is your dignity, and so is your ability to trust people.

Thank you Mark! Advice from 10 years married: Every argument should serve to better your marriage so there should be a net positive with time. If positivity doesn't blossom from arguments, it's a net loss. Look at your marriage as a trend line and don't define it by your worst arguments.

@igorthelight

Жыл бұрын

Dos that also mean that I should get into relationship on it's low and get out at it's peak? ;-)

@pooky8282

Жыл бұрын

​@@igorthelight it means that after the honeymoon period arguments will come your way but if you don't use them as an opportunity to grow, if issues are not adressed or are repeating themselves over and over after they've been discussed there is no point even if there is love nobody is perfect so if you want a serious relationship you have to commit, be tolerant (to an extent), respect each other and work together to maintain a good relationship

@Tnowion

Жыл бұрын

@@pooky8282 some people pretend to grow from arguments and only reveal that they were faking it 4 or 5 years later. so.. that trend is no guarantee for anything. nothing is, really. it's a huge gamble.

@Lineproof

Жыл бұрын

For future reference; what are your arguments about?

@mentalcat9529

Жыл бұрын

I see a lot of couples that argue just for arguing instead of arguing to solve an issue

“Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should be with them” has been a very comforting reminder for me throughout my heartaches and struggles with relationships. Because of my traumas I rush into relationships and have both times realized I didn’t really have much in common with them, or we were just generally incompatible, but felt stuck and tried to force it to work. I did have genuine feelings and love for both of them, though, I just knew there was no future. I really hope one day I’ll experience a healthy, fulfilling relationship. So far they’ve only been extremely stressful and hard for me mentally.

@m.l.7558

Жыл бұрын

I'm sorry for you. I had a fantastic relationship during a year, but I convinced myself to give all of myself to that person when they didn't want that. Worst mistake becaise I got all anxious while they were fine, i thought we weren't compatible because I rushed into the relationship because I was young and after breaking up I miss dearly t the romance, but most of all, the ffriendship, that was te most important to me. I needed that friendship to function and now I feel so stuck, because even my studies remind me of them

@inconnu4961

Жыл бұрын

Oxytocin: It's a helluva drug, man!

@Lacter12

Жыл бұрын

anxious attachment style

@manoftherainshorts9075

Жыл бұрын

Moreover, I'd say falling in love with someone doesn't mean you must get into relationships with that person

@T-KRD

Жыл бұрын

Firstly, be sure to have a loving relationship with yourself. Be your best friend.

My beautiful husband and I have been together since 1997. I adore him so much, he feels the same about me. What Mark says is right. It’s not only love but values, goals, financial goals, day to day support and paying attention to what your partner needs.

I think one thing that's missing is that love is more than just a feeling. If somebody really loves you they take the time to understand you listen to you and have good communication. Not just feeling love and lust. Love also means that you're willing to work out the problems that you have as well. And sometimes love also means letting go if things are not right for both parties.

@wazowski5296

10 ай бұрын

very true

My girlfriend and I have an amazing relationship! Our keys are We have the same values Our communication is top tier, we have that safe space to talk about anything We speak each others love language We are genuinely ourselves around each other As a result our relationship flows so well, it’s so surreal and amazing

@coppersense999

Жыл бұрын

Fantastic, thank you for sharing. If I had to guess, I would say one or both of you come from unbroken homes. That early exposure seems to lay the groundwork for continued success, usually. Then again, a lot of times it is through adversity that we see what we do NOT want and develop the determination to do life differently. Either way, it only works if you invest your time and effort. Kudos!

@djwhiz03

Жыл бұрын

For now.

@ingrained2train

Жыл бұрын

@@djwhiz03 well sir I like to live in the moment so “for now” I’ll keep enjoying my amazing relationship 🤝

@djwhiz03

Жыл бұрын

@@ingrained2train as do I.

@-_-_-_-318

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, this is called the campaign phase where the woman mirrors her partner. Give it 7-10 years. Sorry to bring the bad news.

Summary : 1. Love alone cannot sustain a healthy relationship Respect, commitment, humility, growth are essential for healthy relationships 2. Long-term compatibility is more important than love Compatibility should be prioritized over love, evaluate values and how partner treats others 3. Self-respect and trust are crucial for any relationship Toxic behavior should not be accepted, self-sacrifice can be dangerous and diminish identity 4. Prioritize learning from example relationships, especially friendships Prioritize self-respect, trust and learn from examples of positive relationships

@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

Жыл бұрын

❤

Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her

@inconnu4961

Жыл бұрын

Because you are seeking help with your one-itis! Nothing wrong with that; i hope we can help! Do you know why you love her so much? is it because she is so pretty? probably not, there are prettier. is it because she is nice & kind? Perhaps, but they change and the longer you are with them, they tend to be less kind to you. is it because she is special? hell naw! No woman is special. They are all very very similar to each other. You love her because you are a LOVING guy! Because you are a catch! SO, you can have this SAME love for ANY woman you choose, so long as you WANT to and you ALLOW yourself! You are the KEY ingredient in your love! You Awesome bro, not her! You AWESOME! So go find another woman that meets your standards and do for her like you did for your first and you likely will get similar results! Remember: YOU are the key ingredient!

@Demonocityy

Жыл бұрын

@@inconnu4961 i know you meant well with this advice, but i think you can give it without saying no prospective partner is special… everyone is interesting and has something to give idk. i wouldn’t like it if a woman said ‘men aren’t anything special and you’re just the hottest woman ever so you’re good!’

@carlorizzo827

3 ай бұрын

Juan how beautiful & touching, i'm envious. I don't understand love. But one thing you are doing right: remaining loving! I heard recently being angry is a way of holding on. You are not falling for the angry way. You will be able to let go faster🕊 Here's crazy ass advice: Hold on tighter!! I get sick of it faster🤣

A little over a year ago I read the article this video is based off of after going through a NASTY breakup. That article is one of the few things that kept me sane and together and made so much SENSE in a time where nothing else seemed to. One year later I stumbled on the article…in video form! Thank you for making this and for writing that article all those years ago. The last year hasn’t been perfect but I’ve been single the whole time and feel like I’m growing into a better, more confident, happier me every single day.

@bashlea

10 ай бұрын

After a BRUTAL experience dating, I spent three years single. One of my friends said “You’re finally happy. Don’t be with anyone who can’t add to that happiness because if they’re not bringing you up, they’re bringing you down”. She was right, and that advice helped me become VERY happily married. I hope you also find that (when you’re ready of course).

@MyprivateFirst

6 ай бұрын

@@bashlea Remember loneliness is designed to help you discover who you are, and to stop looking outside yourself for your worth.

@bashlea

6 ай бұрын

@@MyprivateFirst I learned that lesson many years ago, but this advice is just as true now as it is then

@MyprivateFirst

6 ай бұрын

@@bashlea You can give them another chance, or you can forgive, let go, and give yourself a better chance.

@MyprivateFirst

6 ай бұрын

@@bashlea Prove yourself to yourself, not people.

I have two settings: 1) Strong feelings of attraction toward people who are incompatible with me, or don't want me 2) Platonic feelings of friendship toward people who would be great for me, who like me, and have a billion things in common with me

@amalksuresh2538

Жыл бұрын

You have insecure attachment

@stuart3808

Жыл бұрын

Same!! (Agree with Amal about insecure attachment as well)

@djjukeboxhero6491

Жыл бұрын

It's because the incompatible people are usually more attractive physically and the women who have interest similar to men are more masculine.

@lindsaesimmons3913

Жыл бұрын

Me too. I want to screw hot jerks but chill with other like-minded shrews. That's most of evolutionary history. The people who ignite your lowest instincts are what you are supposed to reproduce with not spend any time with other than just mating and then collectively raise the kids together as a group of 50 women co-parenting every kid in the tribe. Same with dudes. You like hot bimbos. Yet wanna spend time with your bros doing bro stuff like ... Hunting for wild animals like your ancestors did. Not putting up with apes from another planet. So women wanna screw serial killers, beasts, demons, vampyres, pirates, and billionares... But only modern societal BS could tell you that they are fixable and worth anymore time then a quick mate to have strong babies that might stand a chance.

@arunitsingh3518

Жыл бұрын

Same here bro... thanks for letting me know I am not alone 😂

I’m 31 and single, have had love, lost it. Learned these harsh truths through life and self reflection. Thank you for the validation ❤

@ivanvidojevic2461

Жыл бұрын

Same ,only im 2 years older. Good luck sister

@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

Жыл бұрын

❤

@coribrain789

6 ай бұрын

Wassup pretty ❤

At the end of last year my husband had a psychotic break. It was probably the scariest thing we'd both ever gone through. Of course love was an aspect that got us through that time, but it was far from the only thing. Trust, communication, a sense of safety around each other, and working hard on ourselves mentally and to be better partners is what got us through. Luckily, with treatment, this psychosis episode is only a one time thing and shouldn't happen again. I am so proud of my husband though, he is truly so strong and amazing.

@davidgatsby3775

10 ай бұрын

Your comment warms my heart. Kudos to your family and going through it together.

@LoganFredrick

6 ай бұрын

This is recommendable,so awesome and passionate

@Emmanuel-ch7fw

6 ай бұрын

My love let be together😊

@MyprivateFirst

6 ай бұрын

Beauty is simply reality seen with the eyes of love.

Watching your parents relationship absolutely helps. I watched my dad go through many relationships through the years and I learned what isn’t ok to do and what is great for the relationship. I find myself in one of the most amazing relationships I’ve ever had with a human being in my life. Communication, compassion, and understanding make a hard to break relationship. ❤

@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

Жыл бұрын

Great point ❤

@psychodelic1457

11 ай бұрын

Some parents

@katkong281

10 ай бұрын

Tell this to an orphan lol

@lijh

4 ай бұрын

Or it poisons your outlook like an inescapable pickling, stewing in piss & vinegar, while all other relationships end in abuse, tragedy & horrible divorces.

You're right, romantic love is just a bunch of intense varying emotions and lust that people get caught up in and addicted to. Many of my past relationships have had that feeling of being addicted to eachother. When I met my husband, it was just a quiet, relaxed feeling. It felt different because there was no "high" to it. We've been together over 14 years and it's been great.

@daryl9799

Жыл бұрын

I've made that mistakes many time and have chased that high now when I feel it thats a warning sign for me. It's so hard when things are relaxed it's probably right but there's that mistake of things being boring instead of right for you.

@coolbreeze5683

Жыл бұрын

@@daryl9799 I see where you're coming from. In previous relationships, I always thought the initial "spark" was necessary for love. In my case, I realized following that feeling got me into relationships I shouldn't have been in. If you're with the right person, it won't feel boring but it won't feel like a rollercoaster either. A partner's job isn't to be constant entertainment or to provide dopamine hits. Partners are there for emotional support and connection, advice, trust, perspective, intimacy, etc. Yes, it's important to have fun and be playful in a relationship but the foundation needs to be there. Having hobbies that make you happy can provide the dopamine hits when needed.

@daryl9799

Жыл бұрын

@coolbreeze5683 Agreed ive been in relationships where they expected me to entertain them constantly it's just exhausting.

@betherkabaka

Жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/iaN_o6-Od8axZ9o.html

@m.l.7558

Жыл бұрын

​@@coolbreeze5683 exactly!! I knew this subconsciously, but I forgot and made. Some mistakes

Thanks bro,i needed this! She's crying uncontrollably,but love isn't enough

@ashy107

Жыл бұрын

Time will heal my friend

@fatfurry

Жыл бұрын

oh no what happened?

@GoldenMushroom64

Жыл бұрын

Lol

@TheAzCorner

Жыл бұрын

Either that's funny Or, congrats

@renellandrea

Жыл бұрын

What? Zack! What happened ?

To me, love is not just what one feels towards someone or something. It's the ability to do all sorts of things, overcome all sorts of challenges, all for that one special individual/thing. An example is, like when you're staying loyal and respectful to your partner, even when that 'crush' feeling isn't really there anymore.

love this approach, dude.

4:14-Love as a feeling doesn't translate to Compatibility, Compatibility is often based on values 7:14-Love is sacrificing your little needs to care for another but when you sacrifice your self respect,dignity,physical body,Ambition,Identity etc then it becomes toxic 8:04-Love should supplement our identity

I’m happily married (11 years). The agree with the friendship advice, also the biggest contributor to a happy relationship is acceptance of the other person and yourself. Too many are trying to change people.

@m.l.7558

Жыл бұрын

I agree. I tried to change myself while accepting the other person, while the other person loved me as I was. My lack of love for myself led to some shit on my part, which I'm not proud of

@joecojones

Жыл бұрын

So if your partner is lazy, does not work, big spender, unreliable; you need to compromise? 🤔

@ocmetals4675

Жыл бұрын

@@joecojones Eeew. Why would you marry someone like that to begin with? Who said anything about lowering your standards. I said the opposite. I said that you should accept yourself and the person you choose to have a relationship with. That means you have to understand who you are and who they are and choose if this is who you want a relationship with and then accept all of it just the way it is. Not pick someone because you like some things and fool yourself into thinking you can change the parts you don't like. Recipe for misery right there.

@inconnu4961

Жыл бұрын

@@ocmetals4675 I will assume you are a woman, because i doubt any sensible man would start off a sentence with 'Eew'! LOL People are good at hiding their true natures, pretending to be some one socially acceptable. Couple that with raging hormones & willful blindness during the 'honeymoon' phase, the vast majority sign up for something we didnt know we were signing up for. Nobody UNDERSTANDs who they are! if they really did, guys like Mark Manson wouldnt be needed and you & i wouldnt be here now! people are like onions as in our personalities come in layers, that we need to pull away to see. That becomes more difficult the closer to the center we go! I hope your husband is as 'happily married' as you seem to be.

@Confettifun

Жыл бұрын

@@joecojones no, it means you find a new partner. Why the hell would you want to try to move a mountain instead of just taking a different route

I can honestly say that at age 45, I've never been in an intimate relationship where I was loved. Bittersweet world of a deep empath.

10:23 Love is not unique. It's not special. It's not scarce. But your self-respect is, and so is your dignity, and so is your ability to trust people.

Just went through a breakup, and this video is just what I needed to feel reassured. Thank you Mark!

@kalipadakarmakar1859

Жыл бұрын

Be brave, you are not alone

@accadia1983

Жыл бұрын

been there. watch the breath and watch the attachment habit rise up, abide and pass away. don't give up

@Azurethewolf168

Жыл бұрын

Be brave soldier, you will get out of the trench into the fresh air above

@EvgeniTalks

Жыл бұрын

It’ll be okay. Just takes the time

@NeoZondix

Жыл бұрын

Be strong!!!! Be! Strong!

Shared values and trust are huge. As the years click past it’s almost like part of the love you have gets replaced by a deep admiration for that person. Along with a sense of comfort you get being with them. They feel like home to you.

i love this man for being so honest and punching the truth on my face in every video he makes

Thank you for this, I always find it hard to explain this to others because my thoughts are all over the place, but said like this and structured the way it is just makes it that much more efficient to remember and to keep inside, really wonderful message that I’m pretty sure too many people should give a hearing to

"The only way to enjoy the love in your life is to make something else more important than the love in your life." Damn thats some good shit. Thanks Mark.

@IPSITA1000

Жыл бұрын

💯

@tsb7911

Жыл бұрын

My wife and I are good at that. 😄

@KatyaV

Жыл бұрын

I think that’s pretty much the mindset of every man I’ve ever met 😅

@mukta4689

Жыл бұрын

That's sad because of this I never felt I was prioritized in my previous relationship and I left it.

Wow!! Love this so much! Wish I found it 15 years ago - would've save me a lot of grief! LOL Love your line "A loving relationship is supposed to supplement your individual identity, not damage or replace it." I say a different version of this to my friends "A relationship is meant to enhance your life, not replace it. You're still your own person with your own goals and interests". Wish more people knew this!!

@betherkabaka

Жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/iaN_o6-Od8axZ9o.html

@ricanyp

Жыл бұрын

i wished i have watched this video before because sacrificing my own self and adjusting to someone's life isn't really worth it. i was in a bisexual relationship. even though my exes were guys, i still gave it a try and totally replaced my perceived identity just to accomoodate someone.

Hey Mark, I'm grateful to have found you. Your books and articles have been a source of enlightenment for me, allowing me to see things from a fresh perspective. Thank you for opening my eyes.

As someone who has never felt romantic love I see this as absolute win! Same values and trust are only two components I really cared about.

My parents are the best example of true love I have even seen. They had an arranged marriage, never met each other before, but somehow they are made for each other. The best thing I have learned from there 20 years of marriage is mutual respect and values. I have never seen them fight each other verbally or physically, they might have a little dispute but get over it within half a day. I am blessed to have them.

@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

Жыл бұрын

That's amazing... arranged marriage is such a foreign concept to North Americans, but I think the level of committment is greater.

Having never been in an actual relationship, due to over thinking every aspect of it, this gives me some amount of peace. Being a person that has never invested in my own goals, I see a little clearer, that it is the necessary first step. Being half a person in a relationship seems like it spells disaster. Thank you for your advice. 👍

@thesurvivorssanctuary6561

Жыл бұрын

I'm proud of you! *That* is a level of maturity showing that you will choose the right partner, _AND_ have wonderful long term companionship with them!👍

@andrewm.8841

Жыл бұрын

@@thesurvivorssanctuary6561 I appreciate the support. I imagine, judging by the few likes on the comment, that many people are in the same position. May the best come to you, friends.

@pipodedown1986

Жыл бұрын

I'm kind of in the same boat, but at the same time I feel really lonely and crave intimacy

@andrewm.8841

Жыл бұрын

@@pipodedown1986 I do too. Sometimes it hits really hard, but deep down I know that it's going to hurt more if I never try, versus actually trying to find something fulfilling and get hurt in the process. I never really learned how to love or be loved properly. Now, I strive to be kind, always. Although it seems like I am stuck in a perpetual state of platonic love, and I don't know how to move out of it. I hope that you will be able to grow as well, friend.

@pipodedown1986

Жыл бұрын

@@andrewm.8841 thank you for your kind comment. I can tell you are a good person with lots of love to give, we'll get there one day

very eye opening!! i’ve constantly been in denial or trying to sugarcoat problems and using passion as an excuse but i know now these issues should be brought up

I'm so glad Mark has a youtube channel...golden advice as always

The only love that matters is the love for Mark and his channel. Every single time he puts up a video it gives me some new perspective.

@DiscoFang

Жыл бұрын

But even that love is not enough. That's why there are cat videos.

@nomnoms2396

Жыл бұрын

nomnoms

@lavatr8322

Жыл бұрын

It's exactly for you Losers ... And you fall for it😭😭😭😭😭 🙆👏

@lavatr8322

Жыл бұрын

@@DiscoFang true, cats are better than women... although similar but different

@inconnu4961

Жыл бұрын

@@DiscoFang LMAO! You win the internet today!

Just started dating someone, been watching some advice videos about emotions and compatibility and keeping true to yourself. This one just takes the cake and is helping me figure things out again after being single for so long and sort of resorting back to the 'old me' of ignoring my own wants and needs just to be with someone. Really appreciate the work and honesty from you and your wife! Thanks so much for this!

@betherkabaka

Жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/iaN_o6-Od8axZ9o.html

@arnavkmr3895

Жыл бұрын

Same I too have started to idolize love again and crave a relationship. This video hit me with some sense again...

I've read your books years ago. Only now i have discovered you had a KZread-channel. This content is amazing!

I'm glad you made this video. Thank you for debunking all the emotional crap that everyone believes that people "live happily ever after" after "finding love" which is pushed on to everyone by the media. Hopefully people will come to their senses after watching this. Thanks again.

Going on 9 years with my partner. We began dating in college and are not married, but our relationship has faced all the hurdles from losing parents, to post college angst, surviving a pandemic together, etc. Had it not been for the foundation of trust we probably would have broken up once or twice. Miscommunication is getting easier to navigate especially when that trust is there. Trusting that the person is not your enemy and has good intentions makes a big difference.

@OwnD1

Жыл бұрын

And of course, you have that strong trust with your best friends too!

@m.l.7558

Жыл бұрын

Also don't lose trust in yourself

@MyprivateFirst

6 ай бұрын

Make sure you don't start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who don't value you. Know your worth even if they don't.

Mark is fun to listen to because he is one of the very rare humans who looks at things with any level of observation outside what they’re told to think. I can attest that this very rare trait will transform your life.

@inconnu4961

Жыл бұрын

You must not hang around very many people, I suppose. I wouldnt call it a rare trait. Especially amongst men. But people do it with varying degrees of success.

@donvitopatata

Жыл бұрын

From my knowledge that ain't a rare trait at all, his work is really good tho

I study Forensic Psychology and I love that a lot of your work is mentioned in my studies! Familiarity breeds love!

Hi, I've read your book 'the subtle of not giving a fxck' recently and really want to say "Thank you so much.". Your vision towards life is really eye-opening and helps me to find what I really need. Now I can smile a lot again like I used to.

I like how at the end he didnt completely shit on love as if its always bad or that we dont need no love at all... This was very helpful, thank u Mark

My main takeaway was to consider whether my relationship is still thriving on a friendship underneath, fundamentally. And to never let the genuine friendship underneath dissolve to replace it with only lovey-dovey flirtation. You need more to talk about with one another than *just your love*/infatuation for one another. If you're always sending cute sweet texts but y'all don't ever talk about anything else anymore, that's a red flag. Appreciating the massive rise in video production quality lately. Also, respectfully, your wife's smile is beautiful. Cheers.

@m.l.7558

Жыл бұрын

My ex partner was so much in love with me, while I appreciated our friendship more. He wanted to stay indoors (which made things more.. ehem...romantic. we would talk while hugging each other for hours) while I liked to be outside (it forced us to talk and be less lovey dovey, plus, it's good for the body and we discovered new places ). While he assured me I didn't need to change or that i didn't own him anything, I deluded myself into doing so (we were both horrible at planning and ended at his house most of the time ) while I knew it wasn't good i let myself be driven by the adrenaline, because I never had tahat and i thought it was good, it helped me feel more normal (i was an anxious mess before meeting this persona and felt better with him and we also had a a strong connection, not only romantic I won't explain anymore but the story doesn't end up well. Take care of yourself, first of all, guys. I neglected myself , thinking of the "benefits of the relationship and it's my responsibility. I lost my flaky values and now I'm driven by fear. I want to change it but I know it will be a long road while I feel guilty for cutting a relationship instead of working more on it

This is exactly what happened with us ...more from my side because i thought that love will be enough for all of the problems that we had in our life ...but the three most important things i now feel are more important than love is commitment, trust and aligned values .. glad i watched this video ..now i get some clarity that why it didn't work .. feeling sad still but gotta work on myself to be better and that's the only way ahead .. shoutout to all such people who are feeling the same to learn from their mistakes and move on gradually because there is so much more to life that it's such a waste to direct all our energy to negative self talk and overthinking...just take a step ahead ..the universe will help you do the rest ❤

Thank you!! Emotions are my poison! I'm a higly emotional person and half of my relationship is worry and mind reseting... Thank you for this, it helps a lot 🙏🏼

I'm going through a very brutal breakup, and this was exactly what I needed to hear. Mourning the loss of a beautiful love but also seeing how certain incompatibilites were creating so much strife, and i'm relieved to be moving on. thanks for this

@betherkabaka

Жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/iaN_o6-Od8axZ9o.html

Heck yeah, this actually made my day. Was just crying again about my relationship that ended last year. We were so madly in love, though we couldn't communicate for shit & I sacrificed almost anything so we could live together. Turned out we wanted so many different things from life, and I confused this "soulmate feeling" I had with him for compatibility & all that jazz. There I also learned that love and all these feelings definitely aren't enough.

This was just the right tone and message. Thank you for sharing!

Love as a verb might be the most important thing for happiness. Honesty, accountability, selflessness, sacrifice; a brotherly love of sorts

I agree that friendship and respect are the foundations of a good relationship. I have been with my husband for 30 years and I like him even more today than in the days of endorphin fog from the beginning of our relationship. However, love is the most important. It's only worth starting with. If you lay your foundations on common sense and compatibility, it's better to stay friends. because you will start looking for love elsewhere... Thank you for your book - it made me very happy :)

When I met my now Ex-wife, she was obsessed with this fairytale notion of love, and neither of us had any idea about trauma bonding and unhealthy attachment styles. I've since come to agree with what Mark is presenting here. It's one thing to fall in love with someone, but it really needs to be more than that if it's going to last.

Trent’s music helped me work through so much depression and know I wasn’t alone. He sang about stuff nobody else around me talked about or understood.

@MyprivateFirst

6 ай бұрын

Remember loneliness is designed to help you discover who you are, and to stop looking outside yourself for your worth.

I usually never comment of videos I watch. However, this advice is so on point that I want to thank you for putting it out there!

I wish I didn't have to go through several bad relationships to learn these lessons.

@AmyGDala-zn5kr

Жыл бұрын

At least you learned something. Some people don't and continuously make the same mistake

The fact that this actually brought me peace of mind instead of depressing me or giving me anxiety makes me feel good about my personal journey. I mean that humbly. I’ve been in many relationships based purely on lust, passion, and infatuation. Or so I thought. I was really just in love with suffering. In the passed this kind of video would make me sad or shatter some illusion I had on what my life was supposed to be, but watching this takes a big weight off of me knowing that these are the things I value now in relationships.

@RichadGilgamesh

Ай бұрын

Wow. You opened my eyes

This video is gold, real love is unconditional, most people dont know real love, they know the lust and desire and 'feelings' they have for their partner but when that starts to fade they havent created the foundations of responsibility and long term commitment within a relationship so their relationships have nothing to stand on when the desire fades and so they cant have real love in the long term especially when they have some reasons to harbour hate and resentment towards their partner, then they definitely wont know how to love properly in the long run.

I love this, I agree a hundred percent! I ended up a 7 year relationship last year basically because of this three topics that you pointed here. Amazing advice! It's the hardest thing to accept all this, but the moment you understand and internalize that, everything changes!

@Emmanuel-ch7fw

6 ай бұрын

My love Let be together forever 💛💛💛

@MyprivateFirst

6 ай бұрын

Don't get yourself worked up with too many things; enjoy the simple things you love to do.

@MyprivateFirst

6 ай бұрын

Remember loneliness is designed to help you discover who you are, and to stop looking outside yourself for your worth.

If someone doesn't look at me the way Mark looks at his wife, I don't want it. This is so pure and cute

There's a teaching I come across again & again in Church services about love.... they say love is not a feeling, it's an action. You don't feel love... you 'do' love. Also, the big advice to single believers was 'don't be unequally yoked'. Although Christians often see that as coupling up with someone who's got the same religion... it means so much more...

@MyprivateFirst

6 ай бұрын

You can give them another chance, or you can forgive, let go, and give yourself a better chance.

@LoganFredrick

6 ай бұрын

Hey Mairedaly going through your comment and found your reasoning so interesting,it reminds me of Angeline Lopez 😂 you are very intelligent it won't be a bad idea to know you better,and write to you often if you don't mind thank you

Really good advice, and I'm glad I had already internalized a big part of this video. Compatibility is incredibly important in a relationship, and people should realize just being in love is not enough for a relationship to start (in most cases). I'm surprised that many people tolerate things in a relationship they don't in a friendship, I think it should be otherwise.

I wish I could tell how good this video is to anyone in a heartache now : ) keep it up brothers and sisters. And thanks for sharing!

I told this same thing to my ex and she told me that I had no idea what I'm talking about. Unfortunately, the very things we needed to sustain the relationship were not there. I've "dated" since but haven't been in a relationship. I think I've gotten to a point where I will go on dates and meet people, but I need to see trust, communication, loyalty, and similar values. Otherwise, it just becomes an emotional mess 6 months later as was pointed out.

I’m so in LOVE with this video! 😂 When you had your old videos on KZread, this was one that I listened to most often, ‘cause I was having big troubles with my girlfriend, eventually EX girlfriend since July 2021. Your content helped me a lot when I was navigating through difficult times. Thank you Mark, from the bottom of my heart. A hug from Italy 🇮🇹

@betherkabaka

Жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/iaN_o6-Od8axZ9o.html

I was raised in a family where we are forced to put love before everything. Even abuse and disrespect and indignity is expected to be tolerated for the sake of love. It really messed up my idea of love and relationships for most of my life. Glad I got out of that.

Great content Mark. I really appreciate your straightforward and thoughtful presentation and style.

Well said mate. All of it 👌 That's been my moto for the last few years: love is not enough to sustain a healthy relationship.

We often sacrifice ourselves and end up not being able to give the care to one who really deserved our love and care such as family who actually selflessly lives you ( well for most people )

Mark, bring Fernanda more often to record with you! I started to follow you because of her (brasileira também 😉🇧🇷) and I think you two together could share so many nice things with us! ❤

I remember reading the article you wrote about this idea and thinking it was so good. This video is probably even better!

love started when i started to respect myself my self-respect and thus I discovered which values ​​suit me and which values ​​I had to cultivate at this point I broke up with my relationship but at least I found my stable ones

A few years post an unexpected divorce, I am still struggling with the idea of what love is. Thought I knew, but I was wrong. I still haven't been able to find an acceptable definition...Anyway, great advice here. My best takeaway is not putting up with something from someone you "love" that you wouldn't put with from a friend. Such a simple concept and yet so powerful. Good stuff, man.

@victorianjeri1000

Жыл бұрын

I think reading the “Road less travelled “ is a good book on this topic.

@Red.Christopher

Жыл бұрын

@@victorianjeri1000 Thanks for the recommendation. Will check it out.

@betherkabaka

Жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/iaN_o6-Od8axZ9o.html

@tonyngo9200

Жыл бұрын

You're not alone. A year divorced. I ask myself if its even possible to love again.

@Meowch3

Жыл бұрын

Here's my definition of love, if it helps any: to care sincerely about the wellbeing of a person and want what is best for them It explains why parent-child relationships can be so bizarre. There's usually plenty of love, but if the parent is mistaken in what is best for the child, the child suffers and it's always a disaster. It's more clear-cut for romantic relationships I feel. You can tell over time if someone truly has your best interest in mind or if the relationship is just a means to an end, ex. you feel depressed and want to quit your soul-eating job but your partner fusses about what will happen to the kids and insists you stay. Yes, your children are important, but there's no thought for your feelings, no care for your wellbeing. No love there. A parent will (hopefully) love their child just for being their child, but for a romantic relationship, I think the reason for your affection literally determines whether you actually love the person or not. If you're feeling loving toward them because they're kind-hearted, hard-working, handsome, beautiful, smart, funny, witty, or because they make you feel good, provide you security, etc. then your affection is self-serving and not love, in my opinion. The relationship has to be wanted for its own sake for it to be love. That means your partner shouldn't have to pass a checklist of behaviors, traits, or characteristics for you to feel affectionate towards them. Your partner has to be the end itself, not a means to it. The only way this is possible is if your feelings arise from the bond and connection you've built together. Forming a bond with someone and getting to know them is a process that takes years, so a romantic relationship in the early stages will feel great, but it will never be love, even if they treat you right. It may look like they're doing things for your benefit, but if they're in love, they're doing it because they're on a romantic high. Always. See how they treat you when Mother Nature's chemicals and hormones wear off. That's the real test.

Man this is absolutely insane, my last relationship ticked almost ALL the wrong boxes mentioned in the video, thanks for helping me see what to watchout for in life

Watching this after seeing your more recent videos. You look so much healthier now bro. Great job!!

I needed this at this very point in my life where I'm getting married to a wonderful woman who I'm not in love with, yet. And this is after going through a heart wrenching fallout after 3 years of madly being 'in love' with someone. It seems like a weight has been lifted off my chest. Thank you Mark.

As someone who had an incompatible relationship months ago, this was the biggest takeaway i have ever concluded in my life. Unfortunately the same wouldn't be the case if i were still blinded by love... Thank you for this video. For me, this wasn't a clickbait, this is truly the BEST relatiosnhip advice, bar none. ❤

All of your videos are so effing good. Well written, to the point, funny, and memorable. It’s such a treat when someone who’s well known from the traditional media world is also well-versed in the social media world. It’s like you’re talking directly to us, not down at us or making abstract explanations like a lot of self-help gurus do - learning a lot from you Mark!

@MyprivateFirst

6 ай бұрын

Remember loneliness is designed to help you discover who you are, and to stop looking outside yourself for your worth.

Each word spoken is a pearl of wisdom... this is what we need to know..and no one tells... thanks for sharing it :)

Mark, I love the clear way you tackle these complicated issues that are part of people's everyday lives. Great video! Keep up the good work!

Keep up the good work as always, Mark. Your advices are helpful in so many ways.

Tfs! So relieving and clarifying that actions and patterns are more important than words, mainstream opinions and shine

This is one of those eye opening, life changing vids that sticks. I can only thank the universe for showing it to me. And you ofc for making it 😊. Thank you.

Demystifying love )) I now understand why I had a 3h conversation on the first date with the woman I love for already 15 years: I had to make sure we share the same values. It's been amazing.

I’m having problems with someone I love and this video came our right about the time I needed it. It really makes me happy hearing things that I never knew and learning from it also. Thank you for this.

To those who actually watched on A Sunday 😆

I come back to this video from time to time. Thanks for sharing!!

Mark, you’re absolutely correct. I have seen and read tons of content about relationship advice, but this video is without the shadow of a doubt the most important, well summarized and effective advice that I have ever heard.

Years ago i read the blog post related to this video, and it made me find the courage to stop a toxic relationship that was drainin my life and living in a costant downword spiral of drama and no self love. 3 years later I've found the person of my life, following those principles and many other advices from mark's blog. All i could say is: thank you for being the "wise friend" that was by my side during this journey, love you Mark!

Mark, hands down you make some of the best content out there. Thanks.