The art of saying goodbye: Isabel Stenzel Byrnes at TEDxStanford

Isabel Stenzel Byrnes is a bereavement social worker at Sutter Care at Home and Mission Hospice, and holds master of social work and master of public health degrees. She has lived with cystic fibrosis for 42 years and received a double-lung transplant 10 years ago at Stanford Hospital. She describes her illness journey as an invitation for opportunities to serve as an international patient advocate and to lecture on topics such as living well with illness, end-of-life issues and organ donation. Together with her twin sister, Anabel, she published the memoir The Power of Two, which inspired the creation of a documentary film of the same title. For fun, she plays the bagpipes to celebrate her lung donor.
In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

Пікірлер: 116

  • @lacosa4597
    @lacosa45976 жыл бұрын

    I lost my Mother 5 months ago to cancer, and each day is such a struggle... If you're reading this and you've lost someone you love, I am so very sorry. God bless.

  • @sixfigure7372

    @sixfigure7372

    5 жыл бұрын

    Josh Adams I love you and you are not alone

  • @shanenelson3863

    @shanenelson3863

    5 жыл бұрын

    Sorry for your lost.

  • @cynthiamcwhorter6721

    @cynthiamcwhorter6721

    5 жыл бұрын

    I lost my father last Nov 4th 2018 it's so hard to loose a parent so my heart goes out to you. I will pray for you. My faith in Jesus helps me get thru life. Now I'm caring for my mom just like I did for dad. God bless you

  • @jeanaliceeyebe7082

    @jeanaliceeyebe7082

    4 жыл бұрын

    I lost my mom 3 months ago ago I don’t even know how I do everyday to get up and go to class

  • @georginasmith441

    @georginasmith441

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@jeanaliceeyebe7082 she will be very proud of you

  • @artur2133
    @artur21334 жыл бұрын

    I lost my mother due lung cancer two days ago. She was the kindest person in my life and now all I can feel is a void in my chest. I miss her so much. I love you mom, thank you for everything.

  • @Saaad2

    @Saaad2

    3 жыл бұрын

    RIP.. May god bless her with his place in heaven and give you strength to bear this loss.

  • @Gellybeanb1974

    @Gellybeanb1974

    3 жыл бұрын

    I'm so sorry for your loss* God Bless & God be With You*

  • @sqaushistarship2605

    @sqaushistarship2605

    2 жыл бұрын

    Hope you're doing better.

  • @lynnemanning9553
    @lynnemanning9553 Жыл бұрын

    WOW! WOW! WOW! ISABEL 💟‼💟 SO MUCH WISDOM, SO MUCH LOVE, SO MUCH COMPASSION TO SHARE WITH OTHERS‼🤗🤗🤗 The ABSOLUTE BEST talk about grief....You have fantastically made so much out of your grief and suffering, and that will forever help others...Much Love and Joy to You 💟☯☮🕉💟

  • @rosecabral
    @rosecabral11 ай бұрын

    Thank you for leaving this wisdom behind for us to find.

  • @daniellerall1874
    @daniellerall18746 жыл бұрын

    Isabel, if you ever read this, you should know that your soul is so incredibly beautiful and that you have touched many people deeply. Thank you for your insights on grief and sharing with the world. You have successfully turned your pain into purpose and it is my wish that all of us living with grief and pain may do the same. Thank you!

  • @tag2npt
    @tag2npt3 жыл бұрын

    I lost my brother 2 weeks ago. I know this painful process is just beginning. Blessings to everyone here.

  • @trentf4891
    @trentf48915 жыл бұрын

    Such a wonderful way to remember her donor.

  • @PaigeDavis-df1hh
    @PaigeDavis-df1hh3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you. This link was sent to me by my daughter. Today we are going to say goodbye to my sister Leanne. She entered hospice 5 days ago. I am so glad I watched you before I gathered with my family. Thank You ❤️

  • @TheAtrain76
    @TheAtrain763 жыл бұрын

    Everyone should watch this. And I mean EVERYONE.

  • @xxbearzxx9916
    @xxbearzxx99167 жыл бұрын

    I just lost my father. Best Ted I've ever seen or heard. Thank you

  • @chubby5188

    @chubby5188

    3 жыл бұрын

    God bless you

  • @brycepj1
    @brycepj18 жыл бұрын

    Wow. What an incredible person.

  • @ElevatingHope
    @ElevatingHope7 жыл бұрын

    A beautiful touching way to honor Xavier and he still lives on

  • @Urania4007
    @Urania40074 жыл бұрын

    "...all of our loved ones can remain eternally present in absence, so then perhaps we don't have to say goodbye after all."

  • @veliaguzman9911
    @veliaguzman99112 жыл бұрын

    Lost my brother, cancer. I am still in the process of saying goodbye. Thank you for your Ted talk.

  • @susgra21
    @susgra2110 жыл бұрын

    Simple title for a deep, heartfelt Talk. Perhaps most impressive is that someone with CFS can play a wind instrument at all!

  • @katehtun92
    @katehtun922 жыл бұрын

    It does take a brave person to love. Loving is hard especially when we are left behind by our loved one. After loosing my loved ones, I thought I will never love or be attached to people or pets but no, I think that would be a coward way to live. I will never be defeated. As long as I live, I will love as much as I can.

  • @keztukariri
    @keztukariri2 ай бұрын

    It truly takes the most incredible human to work at a hospice ❤❤❤

  • @danielleopremcak2817
    @danielleopremcak28174 жыл бұрын

    I just lost my 5 week old son. This talk helped provide some insight into how to navigate the heartbreaking pain I’ve been living with since my baby died. Thank you.

  • @ChrisJohnson-lh9qb

    @ChrisJohnson-lh9qb

    3 жыл бұрын

    Hello miss, I'm sorry about your loss, trust me I completely understand your pains, I've had a great deal of lost in the past, I'm a single Dad with a daughter, I lost my wife 5yrs ago and I don't understand it, grief hit's different and every one sees things differently, I felt devastated and I still feel the empty space in my heart, I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, it's been quite a while and I hope you doing fine ? time they say is the best healer and I now understand it, it'd be nice to have a chat with you or maybe a great conversation if you don't mind sending me your gmail address so i could reach out on you ?.

  • @AshStar333
    @AshStar3337 жыл бұрын

    This was powerful and made an impact. Thank you for sharing your lessons, and thank you for sharing about your friends and your dear sister.

  • @Prettymapleleaf
    @Prettymapleleaf2 жыл бұрын

    This was so beautiful. Thank you so much. My love and soulmate died a month ago and my entire world has shattered. I’ve been finding solace in videos like this. I’m so looking forward to my time when he will come for me. For now, I will live for two.

  • @johncahill6859
    @johncahill68594 жыл бұрын

    So beautiful. I lost my mother 9th September 2019 and 5 months later I struggle everyday with the loss and shock. Often trying to make sense of it all. The story you have shared is what it’s all about. Thank you for this gift and you are truly an inspiration to us all. God bless

  • @firemetal89
    @firemetal893 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much for sharing your precious stories with us.

  • @Gungacrik
    @Gungacrik7 жыл бұрын

    I am so sorry for your losses. But I am so glad I volunteered to collect donations for CF over the years. I think you are wonderful. xo

  • @katso6721
    @katso67215 жыл бұрын

    Very touching, very wise. Incredible talk, incredible woman!

  • @pattystober8054
    @pattystober80544 жыл бұрын

    You are amazing Isabel. I have been a severe asthmatic all of my life and feel so fortunate that I am able to catch my breath due to new biological drugs that are available. I am so sorry that you lost your twin. My journey over the last 60 years has been challenging but I'm still here. And the bagpipes... well they just make me cry. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

  • @louisefuller7044
    @louisefuller70446 жыл бұрын

    Thank you Isabel xxxxx you have a beautiful soul.

  • @sshh778
    @sshh7787 жыл бұрын

    I feel Deeply touched. Thanks my dear.

  • @fml5910
    @fml59104 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for sharing your story Isabel.

  • @WJFK480
    @WJFK4804 жыл бұрын

    I lost my niece to CF in 1997. Now her mother, my sister is with her in Heaven, she just passed away unexpectedly in February. I miss them both and I will always be there for her living daughter. Such a beautiful tribute to the lung donor and I am so happy that Isabel is doing well.

  • @ignatiusjacob5491
    @ignatiusjacob54912 жыл бұрын

    Thank u Isobel for a heart touching talk . It made me tearful listening to your story and the loss of your beloved twin sister, May God bless her as well as Xaviers souls..I am going through a grief journey due to the loss my soulmate Maria with Pancreatic cancer. .Pleased to see how well you are using your loss with so much positive efforts. Your bagpipe play was truly amazing. May God be with you in all your journey. Let us do our best for others Those we love don't go away they walk beside us unseen unheard but always near still loved and still missed and very dear. They may have gone away from our sights but not from our hearts

  • @keztukariri
    @keztukariri2 ай бұрын

    Rest in peace Annabel ❤ you are incredible Isabel, what a beautiful, strong lady you are!!!! I truly hope you are still going strong ❤❤❤

  • @gleasonjim01
    @gleasonjim0110 жыл бұрын

    What a beautiful way to memorize your sister, Ana, and let her life have continued meaning as she (and you) have done for so many years together, spreading the world of organ donaiton and transplant meaning in life. Thanks you, Isa!

  • @mjtc866
    @mjtc8667 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for your gift of honest words

  • @followurheart1
    @followurheart14 жыл бұрын

    Soo beautifully shared. Thanku for ur truth and strength !! , life is bizarre to me, so many questions especially after the death of someone i know. I wish u many blessings. Thanku for this😘🙏🏽💫

  • @sarahd7745
    @sarahd774510 ай бұрын

    Chills. The fact that she played a bagpipe with CF is incredible.

  • @semantics85
    @semantics857 жыл бұрын

    What an inspiring woman and presentation.

  • @anna-marghiebert409
    @anna-marghiebert4097 жыл бұрын

    Very moving...thank you....I must learn to let go!

  • @bettysman
    @bettysman5 жыл бұрын

    Well done Isabel! So much wisdom from your suffering and life experience. I am on palliative care after living longer than any of my doctor’s other patients with the same condition. Isn’t all these extra grace-filled years a wonderful gift? I, like you, want to give back. I love the bagpipes! It’s so meaningful that you used your lungs to play that memorial “Amazing Grace.” BTW, have you read Stephen Jenkinson’s, “Die Wise?” He agrees with you concerning the great importance of embracing our mortality. I think you’d like it. You continue some of your sister’s person - so, she lives through you. Take care of that precious life of yours.

  • @ramkhadka1110
    @ramkhadka1110 Жыл бұрын

    Isabel, if you ever get time to read my comment, please know that you have deeply impacted many people and that your spirit is so lovely. I appreciate you sharing your knowledge of sadness with the world. All of us who are dealing with sadness and agony may accomplish what we have done and effectively convert our suffering into something positive.

  • @MisooSooup

    @MisooSooup

    11 ай бұрын

    She passed away recently ❤ rip 🪦 🕊

  • @jovialdreams
    @jovialdreams8 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for sharing with the world!

  • @odessamarbley5703
    @odessamarbley57038 жыл бұрын

    love that presentation by Gail. She is the best.

  • @ChristyRobertsCreatingChange
    @ChristyRobertsCreatingChange2 жыл бұрын

    Thank you Isabel, you do yourself and your sister proud.

  • @kachunscreativejournal2882
    @kachunscreativejournal28822 жыл бұрын

    She is such a beautiful person! Thank you Isabel! :)

  • @shez1640
    @shez16405 жыл бұрын

    I have lost my father,my sister( best friend),my 1 yr old grandson,then my beautiful 34yr old daughter & then my husband The losses just wouldnt stop,I just wish i could have said Goodbye.

  • @sixfigure7372

    @sixfigure7372

    5 жыл бұрын

    shez I’m so sorry for your lost I wish you don’t feel alone and we love you

  • @napriaa5175

    @napriaa5175

    3 жыл бұрын

    Sending you strength love and hope somewhere out in the world

  • @volkssturm9694

    @volkssturm9694

    3 жыл бұрын

    God Bless you, I can only imagine how much you must have suffered. I really hope you are doing OK nowadays.

  • @jessicad4186
    @jessicad41863 жыл бұрын

    What a fantastic, inspirational piece of emotional knowledge transformed into educational information. Profound!!! Xxx

  • @glynnyschiavoni8896
    @glynnyschiavoni88962 жыл бұрын

    That was truly beautiful and so touching. Thank you for blessing me in this way today. Glynny from upstate NY

  • @nicholasdmello3400
    @nicholasdmello34002 ай бұрын

    The melody is so haunting

  • @YeHeyEyJey
    @YeHeyEyJey10 жыл бұрын

    This feels. Beautiful.

  • @brittanym958
    @brittanym9587 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much for this

  • @hollymills9814
    @hollymills981410 жыл бұрын

    Thank you! Beautiful

  • @araisininthesun5958
    @araisininthesun59582 жыл бұрын

    Please don't judge me...I am here because of a untimely divorce. I have no idea what to do with the confusion, hurt, pain, silence, hate...I keep telling myself that he is dead, no longer here, so I have to learn how to grieve properly. This is helping.

  • @Prettymapleleaf

    @Prettymapleleaf

    2 жыл бұрын

    Grief is grief. Loss is loss. You aren’t alone. You are loved.

  • @grokker99
    @grokker999 жыл бұрын

    Thank you

  • @dynalynn8336
    @dynalynn83363 жыл бұрын

    May God Bless you, thank you for this❤

  • @krissylove9646
    @krissylove96465 жыл бұрын

    Definitely great words

  • @jfunk6932
    @jfunk69322 жыл бұрын

    Absolutely beautiful!

  • @bayoubabe6698
    @bayoubabe66982 жыл бұрын

    That was absolutely beautiful ♥️🙏♥️

  • @user-kr7rv9we1y
    @user-kr7rv9we1y2 жыл бұрын

    How she is saying is almost like a poem♡

  • @balinsky214
    @balinsky2143 жыл бұрын

    thank you Isabel

  • @stevenh83
    @stevenh835 жыл бұрын

    I recently Lost MY mothers best friend and our second Mother just this last Weekend Suddenly due to an infection that shut her lungs and kidneys. I appreciate This Talk because grieving is not easy. I remember being in . Her room saying good bye I froze in my emotions.

  • @bicyclesports
    @bicyclesports Жыл бұрын

    Excellent message ! A form of grieving combines many things from writing to “crafting”. I love making little scrolls & giving them away. I would love to read the poem by Carelle . . . Apple pie into dill pickles. Got it !

  • @stacihensley7698
    @stacihensley76988 жыл бұрын

    This is awesome. I am using it to help train my hospice volunteers.

  • @dondressel452

    @dondressel452

    2 жыл бұрын

    Great for you They are one of the most wonderful people in the world It takes strength to be a hospice worker

  • @jc0730
    @jc07303 жыл бұрын

    Stunning!

  • @shellyv2634
    @shellyv26348 ай бұрын

    Just lost my brother yesterday it’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt and just trying to figure out how I’m supposed to move forward like this. I’m sad I’m angry I’m confused I love you David

  • @CrossStrain
    @CrossStrain2 жыл бұрын

    Thank you..

  • @Sanrio328
    @Sanrio328 Жыл бұрын

    I lost my mother from cancer. This talk gave me comfort.

  • @2013LPN
    @2013LPN7 жыл бұрын

    Very deep.

  • @cathybilodeau5759
    @cathybilodeau5759 Жыл бұрын

    thank you - God Bless

  • @MLaak86
    @MLaak864 жыл бұрын

    Lost my father two days ago, I’m still thinking about how to say goodbye

  • @km1dash6

    @km1dash6

    4 жыл бұрын

    My condolences. I lost a loved one recently. It's terrible. Faith helps (I'm a Buddhist, but my family is Jewish), friends help, family helps, but it's a loss, and a part of life is living with grief.

  • @napriaa5175

    @napriaa5175

    3 жыл бұрын

    Sending you love and strength somewhere in the world 🤍

  • @PersephoneG205
    @PersephoneG2055 жыл бұрын

    Beautiful story 💞💞(hugs)

  • @kaylamerlock1586
    @kaylamerlock15862 жыл бұрын

    I'm also a twin that lost her sister I feel your pain but its almost been 18 Years now and I'm still not done grieving. It hurts so so much like a part of you is missing and you can't get it back.

  • @ElevatingHope
    @ElevatingHope7 жыл бұрын

    "Be the best I can be by giving and receiving love."

  • @dondressel452
    @dondressel4522 жыл бұрын

    It sounds like your life has been a struggle I’m sorry because your so young I have my own struggles myself having cancer But I’ve live for almost 65 years Remember God only knows when it’s our time I to have lost many loves in my life to Life is a lesson for each and everyone of us My thoughts and prayers are with you God Bless For everyone suffering a loss in this world I would suggest watching Dr Mary Neals video on her NDE It gave me comfort and I think it will give you comfort

  • @MuseSunday
    @MuseSunday3 жыл бұрын

    Good bye mom. I’ll find you again next life ❤️

  • @qeytmyok2473

    @qeytmyok2473

    Жыл бұрын

    I too lost my mom suddenly last year😭😭. I would tease her saying that a will find a new mum for my next birth but now i think i do want her in my next birth😢

  • @jeanaliceeyebe7082
    @jeanaliceeyebe70824 жыл бұрын

    I lost my mom 3 months ago and I wasn’t there for her I did say goodbye I didn’t saw her a last time I feel so guilty I miss her everyday

  • @mstracymiles

    @mstracymiles

    4 жыл бұрын

    I'm sorry. I think it's helpful to write her a letter and tell her you're sorry. Then move forward being there for others. Everyone seems to feel some guilt after a loss. I know I do.

  • @BudiGouw

    @BudiGouw

    3 жыл бұрын

    Much love

  • @Juan43908
    @Juan4390810 жыл бұрын

    Beautiful

  • @nebbyking7187
    @nebbyking71874 жыл бұрын

    How do we find your bereavement writing group?

  • @JoseHernandez-oz5qe
    @JoseHernandez-oz5qe Жыл бұрын

    Beautiful ❤

  • @keztukariri
    @keztukariri2 ай бұрын

    RIP Xavier ❤

  • @Monterey1966
    @Monterey19668 жыл бұрын

    very beautiful.....

  • @m_christine1070
    @m_christine10702 жыл бұрын

    I lost the love of my life. I have so much regret. I don't know how to live without him. It was a conflicted relationship. I could have been so much kinder. He had addiction issues. It doesn't give anyone an excuse for withholding compassion. How did I ever believe that it did?

  • @lakawjuan7413
    @lakawjuan74133 жыл бұрын

    💚

  • @megbyrne2499
    @megbyrne24995 жыл бұрын

    PERHAPS THE BEST VIDEO IN TRYING TO GRASP HOW IMPORTANT THINKING ABOUT DEATH, YOUR OWN, THAT OF A LOVED ONE, IS AN ESSENTIAL WAY OF CREATING A WORK OF PRAYER, A WORK OF ART, A WORK OF BEAUTY. FUNERAL HOMES HAVE UNFORTUNATELY DEPERSONALIZED WAYS OF TRULY DEALING WITH AND PERSONALLY HONORING A LOVED ONE WHO HAS DIED. START PLANNING PLEASE!

  • @melfulmer1557
    @melfulmer15573 жыл бұрын

    My wife passed away 2 months ago of encephalitis no one knows how she got it

  • @marianarodriguez-gn5kh
    @marianarodriguez-gn5kh Жыл бұрын

    My ex boyfriend got ran over by a drunk driver .. died of traumatic brain injury 🥺🥺 it is very difficult because it opened up many things from the past and the pain reminds me of how much I cared about him 😭

  • @melfulmer1557
    @melfulmer15573 жыл бұрын

    We will never know how u feel

  • @avispoon3232
    @avispoon32325 жыл бұрын

    Elmo songs

  • @pascalkwast7978
    @pascalkwast79783 жыл бұрын

    The taboo basin geometrically queue because geese presently lighten amongst a third tornado. lush, fretful mexico

  • @pascalkwast7978
    @pascalkwast79783 жыл бұрын

    The second-hand meteorology temporarily start because vegetarian usually develop athwart a devilish pisces. fantastic, actually temper

  • @sapirn2122
    @sapirn21224 жыл бұрын

    Thank you

  • @Juan43908
    @Juan4390810 жыл бұрын

    Beautiful