I watched House with my Dad when I was around 12, and absolutely loved it (it made me fall in love with medicine, and now I'm studying to be a doctor). I didn't know anything about asexuality at the time. Now, several years later, I identify as ace. This episode was brought up in a different video essay about asexuality and I was completely shocked. I didn't even remember the episode, but now I can't stand it. I can still appreciate and really like the show as a whole, but the way the writer (or producers perhaps) handled this makes me lose a bit of respect for them. Especially since this would have been so easy to get right and would have made such a huge difference in public perception. I think your explaination of why they couldn't have made House wrong from a character perspective was insightful! However, I still think that they could have let the wife remain asexual. I mean, why would you add that in? It serves no purpose. House would have still won the bet but asexuality wouldn't be nearly as invalidated.

@DavidJBradley

4 жыл бұрын

That's awesome that the show inspired you to pursue medicine. I hope all that's going well for you (I imagine it's a bit stressful right now). It really is a shame how it was handled, and I hope that people take the right lesson from it and do Ace rep right in the future.

@tallinn5086

4 жыл бұрын

I used to like the show too so I felt weirdly betrayed when the episode came up. I do believe the writer was saying the truth because when I watched it I really thought House was going to be proven wrong, that's where I felt it was going. I was literally on the edge of my seat, thinking (pretty naively) "that's it, we're going to have mainstream ace represention!", only to be let down at the end. Houses' point of view was that no one could be ace, that it just didn't exist. That's probably why the wife wasn't ace either. Ps: good luck for your studies!

@mimmikibilly

4 жыл бұрын

If they left the wife asexual they probably would have had a reason to "fix" her as well though.

@Imnya

4 жыл бұрын

I feel like they wanted to have a "happy" ending to this little side plot. After the husband is diagnosed, he starts wondering what he's going to do now, until the wife says that it's okay, because she's not ace. So *hooray*, they'll get to have sex together and be a "normal" couple. (Never mind the fact that if I were him, I'd have a huge problem with finding out my wife lied to me for over a decade)

@mayaklast6334

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah... I've had the exact same experience you did and thought the same about the wife.

"You can't be broken, because sex doesn't make people whole." I wish someone had told me this years ago when everyone around me was sex-crazed and I couldn't understand what was wrong with me when I wasn't (and still aren't).

@catelyntully9494

4 жыл бұрын

I am very critical of many Netflix's decisions with shows, but Sex Education (which I am sure it can has flaws) did an amaizing job talking about Taboo stuff and it deserves a lot of praise.

@platinum_noelle

4 жыл бұрын

@ÖC because when you're surrounded by hormonal teenagers your age that at least occasionally talk about people they like and would want to fuck, or sex with their partners and their sexual desires, and you're seemingly the only one who has never felt any kind of sexual attraction to another person and there's no one to talk to about that without looking at you weirdly or saying "you'll feel that way soon", you start to think there's something wrong with you for being so abnormal compared to everyone around you. When someone thinks one way and everyone around them, as well as the media and all the kids on TV and in the movies, think the opposite, usually they quickly come to the conclusion that their way of thinking is the problem.

@judeedee5402

4 жыл бұрын

@@platinum_noelle I know I'm a stranger so it don't matter much but I wanted to say I really related to your comment, it's comforting that there are people who feel and experience world similarly to me, I still get overwhelmed with how oversexualised everything is and wish I could disappear because I don't fit in, but then, from time to time I find somebody who is on the same boat as me, and it gives me some courage to keep going, I hope you have a great day and stay healthy : )

@souffrantdepine3762

3 жыл бұрын

Keep in mind that while it's good and fine for ace people, for people who do experience sexual attraction and urges, or who's sexualities are a big part of their identities statement's like, "Sex doesn't make people whole." Can be very hurtful and invalidating. Perhaps a better one might be, "Sex isn't the only thing that makes people whole." Or, "Sex doesn't make *everyone* whole."

@judeedee5402

3 жыл бұрын

@@souffrantdepine3762 I'm pretty sure by saying "sex doesn't make you whole" no one means that it can't be significant for others, it's about the context so no worries

It also perpetuates the sexist idea that women don't have sexual needs and will or will not have sex depending on whatever the man wants

@marsimane259

4 жыл бұрын

i just realised that , holy hell you are right ! that makes it even more messed up...

@Hellooo134

4 жыл бұрын

That was my immediate thought

@mattsmith457

4 жыл бұрын

I'm not sure I follow. I thought it did imply women have sexual needs because the woman was going behind the man's back in order to meet her needs.

@Hellooo134

4 жыл бұрын

@@mattsmith457 oh didn't realize she did that

@martianpudding9522

4 жыл бұрын

@@mattsmith457 oh I didn't realize she was also cheating. I thought she just became celibate for her man like it was no big deal.

i remember someone explaining asexuallity to me like "its like i dont have a sense of smell, like i could never smell, and people are spraying perfume in my nose asking how wonderful it seems. and when i say "i cant smell it." they say "well yes you can! because i can smell it, i see you have a nose like me, so obviously you can smell it!" and even when they dont say that they say "well maybe you just havent found a scent that you like yet. go try more perfumes." but that doesnt change the fact that cant smell them. and even im okay with not being able to smell it, when ive accepted my lack of smell, others seem to hate me for it. it doesnt effect you, karen. go smell your perfume and leave me alone."

@aiiiia9971

9 ай бұрын

That's a really interesting metaphor

@lxmesoda

8 ай бұрын

brilliant analogy

@gustavesoucy-breton6841

8 ай бұрын

other one include: it's like you are in an all-you can eat buffet, but you are not hungry.

@aaronwright485

6 ай бұрын

I actually am both asexual and have a bad sense of smell so I absolutely understand this

Last time I checked, sexual attraction is different than being horny. So that tumor thing is such bullcrap.

@akodaah13-e32

3 жыл бұрын

yeap

@deinsilverdrac8695

9 ай бұрын

Not totally Sexual attraction is linked to that. It's as dumb as saying that pain and having a fracture are not linked, they are. Being horny is simply the psychological and physiological reaction to brain chemicals that react creating excitation and sexual pulsion. Assexual people brain simply don't react. Homosexual brain react to the stimuli/chemicals of people of the same gender. Bisexual react to both etc. Meaning no this is not bullshit but entirely valid. However sexual orientation, sexual behaviour and romantic orientation are differents things. For exemple gay people presured or even tortured and traumatised to "change their orientation" can't. They only change their sexual behaviour. . This patient had an altered behaviour due to the tumor, that practically stop his brain reaction to that. Which change his behaviour in accordance to this absence of reaction. . Because yes sexual orientation is partially biological and innate, (so all the fuckers who say LGBT IS against nature can shut up and punch themselves). But the sexual behaviour can be changed through trauma and experience, like torture or social pressure. Or by anomalies or signals in the brain.

@ihavelemonade5640

9 ай бұрын

@@deinsilverdrac8695 are you asexual?

@jurgnobs1308

9 ай бұрын

how is it different? i genuinely don't know and would like to understand. what defines sexual attraction if not arousal?

@jurgnobs1308

9 ай бұрын

​@@deinsilverdrac8695 I totally get the difference between orientation and behavior, it's a pretty obvious one. I didn't become straight when I started having sex, so why would I think gay people are defined by having sex? never made sense to me. but I genuinely don't understand the difference between sexual attraction and arousal.

Wait, doesn't the wife spending ten years not having sex because she loves her husband disprove House's claim that everyone is motivated by sex? Obviously she wasn't, even if she wasn't asexual.

@anthonynorman7545

4 жыл бұрын

+

@CapriUni

4 жыл бұрын

Yes. Yes, it does.

@shizotypical

4 жыл бұрын

He'd probably say "bah, she was cheating, case closed"

@CapriUni

4 жыл бұрын

@@shizotypical It probably would have been written that way. But it might have left more of an open question in the audience's mind (minds?)

@FrumpybutSuperSmart

4 жыл бұрын

+

Oh yes. Reminds me of “you’re not lesbian, you just haven’t met the _right_ man yet, honey” Edit: This last year I found I’m not fully straight and am now indeed looking for the right man Edit: am girl. Turns out that was more a gender crisis than a sexuality one

@litchtheshinigami8936

4 жыл бұрын

🤮 i hate the you haven't met the right person yet story.. like honestly it's not about me not being able to love anyone it's about me not feeling sexual attraction to the human form.. like jeesh..

@MadameCorgi

4 жыл бұрын

Comphet Comphet Comphet Comphet

@Ramsey276one

4 жыл бұрын

That's SO STUPID HOW DO YOU SAY THAT WITHOUT SHARTING YOUR BRAIN?!

@LunaMinuna

4 жыл бұрын

I hate that statement. “Your not gay. You just haven’t met the right girl” oh no I’ve seen plenty of women and most of them are the classic high school asshole stereotypical girls. Even the girls I do like(which is extremely few) I have no affection. But everytime a cute guy goes by I can’t stop staring and I have to concentrate myself from looking away from them

@sagebauland4276

4 жыл бұрын

A friend told his mom he was asexual and she didn’t believe him saying that he hadn’t met the right person yet

"You don't need arousal to be happy" Indeed, there are any number of ways that arousal can make you incredibly *unhappy*, both directly and indirectly.

@Dragonmongamer

Жыл бұрын

I agree Whenever I get “aroused” i find it so uncomfortable and annoying. And sometimes it happens at nothing.

@Roitame

Жыл бұрын

@@Dragonmongamer Absolutely. Mine is sometimes outright painful

@Tyler_Stevenson

Жыл бұрын

​@@Dragonmongamer same. My arousal just happens weirdly and against my own wishes. It's crazy. It's like I don't want to feel any arousal, and yet my body has an erection, like my body is betraying me. It's insane.

@VantaDraws

Жыл бұрын

@@Dragonmongamer this!

@oldladytrexarms

11 ай бұрын

Dude, despite being married 16 years, we both have to admit that cuddling and head scratches and kisses and hugs are sooooooo much better than anything sexual and arousing any day of the week. And, since I am disabled and my husband is the only one working, we both have no energy and even way less energy than when we were younger to want to do anything so heck yeah cuddles!

I don't get why asexuality is so hard to understand Everyone understands heterosexuals. They are attracted to ppl of the opposite gender.... But you could also define them by saying they are /Not/ attracted to people of e.g. their own So the concept of not being attracted shouldn't be foreign. And extending it to just "having this non-attraction towards everyone" is not a leap either.

@archerinspace

3 жыл бұрын

Ive always thought its because society can be very sex focused so someone NOT engaging in such a setting is unfathomable. like when people say "you DONT eat steak???" or insisit you have to try/like something they do.

@innohasclay9996

2 жыл бұрын

I described it to my mom as having a bunch of switches in your brain. A switch for attraction to males, a switch for attraction to females, and a switch for everyone (because pans are valid too). For me, all the switches are off. I don't know how to represent demi people in that example, so if anyone has a solution, I would love to see it.

@sarahvunkannon7336

2 жыл бұрын

@@innohasclay9996 In all your examples, the switches are fixed and can't be flipped. So for demis, they have all the same kinds of switches, but their switches are not fixed and can be flipped. They are usually set to the off position and it takes a lot of force to flip them to on. As soon as that force is not present (they are not around the person who they feel that strongly about) the switch flips itself back to off. It's a stubborn switch.

@dinuxplay8003

Жыл бұрын

Heterosexuals are understandable. Most of the time these so-called "asexuals" might actually be heterosexuals or homo or whatever, it is just that they are not feeling any sexual needs at the moments. So no one is truly asexual hence, asexuality is not really a thing.

@normalhuman9878

Жыл бұрын

It’s like Imagine someone you’re not attracted to Now imagine you feel that way about everyone

It would’ve fixed so much if the wife was just actually ace instead of lying to protect his feelings. You can still let House be “right” about a medical issue being involved but then also show that people can actually be ace. Bonus: have the couple decide to stay together even after they find out they are an allo/ace pair

@WitheringAurora

4 жыл бұрын

They’ve been together for 10 years, there really was no need for the woman to lie. And it felt like an easy cop out. If you’re together for 10 years, and doing well, getting diagnosed with a tumor should change nothing.

@ZimVader-0017

3 жыл бұрын

My partner is allo while I’m grey ace. We’ve been together for two years now, but I realized that I was ace as recent as last December. His response? Research! He keeps sending me articles about asexuality to verify their legitimacy, asks me how I’m feeling when we’re together, and even sends me memes.

@dinuxplay8003

Жыл бұрын

Nah they did good with this episode

There's also a very good ace representation in Bojack Horseman series

@DialecticRed

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, Todd! Ah, I miss BJ

@lyadmilo

4 жыл бұрын

Yes! What I loved is that Todd gets one partner, the Axotlotl but they don't work out and it shows that you don't just need to date the first other ace you meet. Also the Bunny he ends up with is so cute and funny and a perfect match for him.

@kayh9477

4 жыл бұрын

lyadmilo Todd and Maude !

@theamhway

4 жыл бұрын

Pretty much the only

@theredcoffeemaker

4 жыл бұрын

I fucking cried when I found out that there was a relatively well-known show that had asexual representation and I cried again every time Todd came out because I felt so seen and validated

My problem with that writer saying that "House needs to be right all the time" is that they had an opportunity for House to not only be on the side of ace people, but prove that asexuality is real, and they just... couldn't be bothered to do that.

@XescoPicas

2 жыл бұрын

The problem is that they had to combine "House is right all the time" with the fact that House is a toxic asshole... I swear to god, that show seems written by one of those edgy teenagers who mistake being mean with being smart

@XescoPicas

2 жыл бұрын

@Clap Em You are right, they don’t! The thing is, if you write one of these characters as your protagonist, it’s extremely important for your story to eventually tackle the fact that you can’t be a functional human being if you are a toxic piece of shit to everyone you come across. It’s not even necessary for the character to grow out of this mindset, mind you. They just need to be framed as wrong. Holmes was a dismissive jerk to Irene Adler. He then got his comeuppance when Adler totally outsmarted him and left.

@edgarpuente1985

9 ай бұрын

Cause there’s no such thing as that

@genera1013

9 ай бұрын

​@@edgarpuente1985No such thing as you.

@alexfraze12087

9 ай бұрын

Yeah not only that, no one really talks about how asexuality is a spectrum. It's few and far between when the spectrum is talked about but its true. Greysexuality, demisexuality, and asexuality not to mention repulsed asexuality versus neutral asexual people and that's a really small fragment of the list of the asexuality spectrum.

House disproved asexuality and just like that, I have begun fading into the aether, I am losing my form, I am seeping out of reality

@mr.goldfish1530

3 жыл бұрын

Farewell, my friend. You will be missed.

@emilybarclay8831

3 жыл бұрын

@@mr.goldfish1530

@tbotalpha8133

8 ай бұрын

F

@illseeyaonthedarksideofthemoon

7 ай бұрын

Well, your identity is only real on the internet, so might as well...

@emilybarclay8831

7 ай бұрын

@@illseeyaonthedarksideofthemoon average Quartening fan desperate for a crumb of female attention

In the words of Overly Sarcastic Productions: write what you know, but you can always know more

@nottrustworthy6361

4 жыл бұрын

I love osp. That's great advice.

@Gloomy_Ghost_Grave

4 жыл бұрын

"I see you are a man of culture as well"

@ironicdivinemandatestan4262

4 жыл бұрын

Extra pertinent since Red is ace!

@arqueiroXD

4 жыл бұрын

She probably is responsable for me discoviring my assexuality. When i heard that she was...i started thinking about a lot. Until i realizing that a lot of my teenager years confusions was because of my assexuality.

@jojoschauman6055

4 жыл бұрын

Red is ace

Oh fuck I remember watching a thread in the Ace Forums when they discussed the preview before the episode aired. There was interest, curiosity, excitement and a bit of worrying about how they would handle it. Oh God the reaction after the episode aired, it was incredibly sad to see. A comment in particular before the episode aired was "Oh, I hope they do this right. My mom and I both watch House religiously. I came out to her about a year ago and she didn't believe me. If this is done right...I'm excited". I can't imagine how he/she felt

@GhostlyLazy

4 жыл бұрын

i looked for this comment and searched a bit more and found that this person said this after watching the episode: "Ugh, I'm so glad I saw this before my mom (who doesn't believe in asexuality) saw the episode. I'll have to sneak down and delete it sometime before tomorrow, and then watch it myself online once it's posted. I am angry." I feel very bad for them :/

@coldandghostly

4 жыл бұрын

Christ that's heart breaking

@nylathewolf4619

3 жыл бұрын

I read the same forum when I first heard about this episode...it was heart wrenching

@izzy-bp6vw

3 жыл бұрын

i never watched it but i heard about it. my friend is asexual and liked it but then they saw that episode. also *cries in xe/xym*

@cosmicandy4620

3 жыл бұрын

@Tristan Lane um, as an aro/ace who is sex repulsed, the idea of wanting sex sounds like torture. It disgusts me, and I want no part in it. Not that I'm judging people who do.

Erghhhh, not only is this a huge disservice to the Ace community, it also misunderstands what happens to a guy with a tumour crushing the anterior pituitary gland. Libido doesn't drop in isolation, it's accompanied by loss of secondary sexual characteristics, muscle wasting, fatigue, weight loss, visual disturbances, and blinding headaches.

@rymikai

9 ай бұрын

medically inaccurate show being medically inaccurate? no way! house is like one of the least accurate medical dramas so i'm not surprised they'd do that lmao 🥲

“ yOu ArE nOt ✨asexual✨YoU aRe jUsT lOnElY nOw fInD a pArTnEr aNd sHuT uP” I love when they tell me that it’s sarcasm btw

Or even, let House get it half-right: the guy wasn't asexual, but the girl actually is. Then leave the relationship open-ended (they are going to try to get it to work). That way, you show that asexuality exists, and that relationships between different sexualities is possible (although a bit tricky, because of a difference in wants and needs). Also, this even gives a chance for House and Wilson to bicker / discuss it (House insisting on the money, even though Wilson was right about asexuality existing).

@TheAdrift

4 жыл бұрын

YES! The solution was right in front of them, but they tripped over their dicks and fell before the finish line. Fuck, I hated this episode! I was a newly-out baby ace when it aired, and my parents and I loved this show, so of COOOUUURRRSE we watched this episode together. It made me wanna disappear into the ground like a mole and live there forever 🙃

@egodeosum

4 жыл бұрын

I don't understand why something being explained physiologically would undermine the identity. He didnt experience sexual desire, he was asexual.

@karenjahn9600

4 жыл бұрын

Exactly! That's what I just thought...

@nightsocoolioyep7663

4 жыл бұрын

@@egodeosum As explained in the video, asexuality is the lack of *attraction,* not the lack of libido.

@softbread2073

4 жыл бұрын

wait, so "curing" assexuality is not okay but assuming everyone should be okay with open relationships is? feels pretty double standart to me

That's funny when you remember that House was based on Holmes who's one of the asexual icons in pop-culture history

@controlequebrado4455

4 жыл бұрын

Well...yikes

@lewisjnewmanify

4 жыл бұрын

Nope, Moffat's Holmes is Ace, not the original Holmes. Appreciate the point though

@kaelang12

4 жыл бұрын

@@lewisjnewmanify no, it's definitely the OG sherlock that's got the signs

@EddVCR

4 жыл бұрын

Right, and even Holmes was wrong/outsmarted on more than a few occasions.

@emilystevens6055

4 жыл бұрын

Wasn’t Holmes grey-sexual? He had a thing for Irene Adler right?

Thank you for saying ace people can have romantic relationships. I am an Ace female and I have a bi-sexual genderfluid partner and we enjoy a complete romantic non-sexual relationship for nearly year now. Sexual attraction isn't needed for a relationship to be valid

@dragongames6332

8 ай бұрын

​@landaclay9331 you chose to say this three years after the comment was posted?

@illseeyaonthedarksideofthemoon

7 ай бұрын

This is even more fictitious than the Dr House tv show, at least make up a cool fantasy instead of being a loser's cuckhold...

Sex isn't love. All I have to say. Be proud of yourself my fellow aces! Homoromantic, Biromantic, Aromantic, Heteroromantic, Panromantic, Polyamorous, whatever your attraction you count as ace and you are valid! I repeat: YOU. ARE. VALID. It's called LGBTQIA+ The plus adds the many more letters in the acronym. Aspectrum counts and deserves representation! Edit: Asexual and Aromantic are umbrella terms, there are many different variations of them. You are all valid and deserving of love; whether it's romantic or platonic, it's still love. "Love is love is love is love is love is love" - Lin Manuel Miranda

@iamerror6546

9 ай бұрын

'Sex isn't love' You sure you're mentally okay?

@no1uno388

9 ай бұрын

@@iamerror6546 its not tho? whats your point

@xobunnyfangsxo

9 ай бұрын

@@no1uno388 I don't think that blanket statement is very helpful, sex means something different to each individual. Obviously, sex isn't EVERYTHING, but to say it isn't love is pretty rude. For me, sex is PART of love, part of how you show intimacy and affection alongside everything else. For some, they could take it or leave it. For others, they don't want it. It just depends on what you want in a relationship. It's not wrong to find sex important since we all have different needs to be met, so long as we don't push it on others or invalidate them for not viewing it the same way. I genuinely hope that helps since that other person didn't respond to you very kindly.

@Simba436

9 ай бұрын

@@xobunnyfangsxo *For me, sex is PART of love* Well, not for the modern world. The modern world treats sex as anoter need you have to satisfy with anyone, anytime you want, and without consequences.

@xobunnyfangsxo

9 ай бұрын

@@Simba436 As I said, it means something different to each person. It's valid if someone views it casually like that, as long as they don't shame others for not viewing it that way. I'm not talking about the modern world here.

There was also that time a teenage girl came on the show. She turned out to be intersex, but House revealed it to her by saying something like 'Surprise, you're actually a boy!' and persistently misgendering her until she cried. So that's fun. Really great representation.

@MsYunaFires

4 жыл бұрын

That's how House speaks. I'm pretty sure he did that, as another comment pointed out, to disgust the Father who was sexually abusing the intersex model.

@lorgarspersonalchair

4 жыл бұрын

yunafires there’s an episode where he calls an intersex boy a freak so eeeeeh nah he’s just an ass.

@drljevic583

4 жыл бұрын

@@lorgarspersonalchair The man left the country after stealing drugs from the hospital he worked at. its his character, even if it is messed up

@guy3480

4 жыл бұрын

hes also sexist and racist. House is not a good person, never was, never will be

@marsnr2177

4 жыл бұрын

@@drljevic583 true but that's not great for the little intersex rep that is out there. Also I don't watch this show but, does the show itself indicate why he was wrong or does ir gloss over it n

It’s.unfortunately similar to the way gays were handled on TV early on. They usually ended up “cured” (they weren’t “really” gay after all) or dead.

@cerridwendragonart8167

4 жыл бұрын

"Kill your gays" is STILL a thing. The Walking Dead has killed off just about every gay character they've ever had, which is already a short list.

@parkchimmin7913

4 жыл бұрын

Hollywood: Pssshhhh, we’re not HoMoPhObIc, we have gay characters on our show! Also Hollywood: **kills the gay characters** **portrays the gay characters in a stereotypical manner** **portrays gay characters as predators** **makes a random background character in the crowd gay and call it representation**

@raydaly8827

3 жыл бұрын

Cerridwen DragonArt Il sorry if I come across as ignorant but, didn’t the Walking Dead kill like, everyone? Not to undermine that particular thing, I have seen it often enough in other comics I’ve read

@cerridwendragonart8167

3 жыл бұрын

@@raydaly8827 The way they shamelessly killed off just about every single gay character ever is important to look at. Only one is still alive currently. A lot of these characters weren't even canon comic characters, so they didn't have to be killed off like that. Not without having a couple seasons of good portrayal first at least. Making and introducing gay characters only to kill them off within a season or two isn't representation, it's tokenizing and performative corporate bullshit.

@cerridwendragonart8167

3 жыл бұрын

@Winter Soldier Yeah the "one" I was referring to was Aaron, he's still alive, so far at least!

House also has an episode where he is blatantly transphobic and intersexphobic (sorry if that’s not the right term!). I can’t remember the episode number or season, but he finds out a girl is intersex and starts misgendering her, calling her he and saying everything one who is attracted to her is gay (it’s also a really creepy sexualisation of a minor) even when she is literally in tears saying that she is a girl. It’s horrible to watch

@sydssolanumsamsys

3 жыл бұрын

wow and people recommended this show to me

@l-3832

3 жыл бұрын

@@sydssolanumsamsys I can’t tell if your username I’d pro-communism or anti-communism. If you can, could you please tell me?

@sydssolanumsamsys

3 жыл бұрын

@@l-3832 i am a socialist with a self-deprecating sense of humour

@rikititi1848

3 жыл бұрын

@@sydssolanumsamsys aren't we all 😂😂

@tami7992

3 жыл бұрын

I'm glad I've never watched it...

It took me ages to find out I was asexual because of how underrepresented and misrepresented it is, you can still be sexual and not attracted to anyone, you can be attracted to people but not in a sexual manner, it's more complex than simply just not being attracted to either gender

I study bachelors degree in psychology, and on a lecture we were studying hormones' effect on human behaviour and how the lack of estradiol (a type of estrogen) can be the cause low or non-existent libido in female-bodied people. I almost started weeping right then and there when our professor made a very clear point that even though we posses this information, we should never use it to try to "cure" or diagnose other people unsolicitedly because asexuality is valid and a sensitive topic to people. I felt so seen.

@catbatrat1760

3 жыл бұрын

"I felt so seen." Yeah, I can imagine!😊 Your professor sounds so nice, and I'm glad they taught that class.

@FREEPALESTINE_0_

3 жыл бұрын

Well it also matters on how the person feels like me I for one don't feel comfortable with sex because of trauma and then two I lack estradiol so I am asexual...

@Quile99

3 жыл бұрын

@@FREEPALESTINE_0_ Yes exactly! I'm sorry that you've had to go through that, hopefully you've been able to heal and live your life the way that makes you happy♡ It's so important to discuss that asexuality can have multiple different reasons behind it and all of them are equally valid. I myself have average hormone levels and I have never experienced any trauma relating to sex, just goes to show that you shouldn't make assumptions and diagnoses about people based on their asexuality.

@FREEPALESTINE_0_

3 жыл бұрын

@@Quile99 yes! And I am doing great and I have been healing! But yes you should not assume that all asexuals are broken and they are not healthy but really it's just some people don't feel comfortable doing anything like it and it's wrong to assume that a asexual has trauma!

@worstusernameintheworld9871

3 жыл бұрын

genuinely curious, but as an acearo spec, I still find it to be a bit odd because I know my libido is high asf and I enjoy the concept of s*x itself, but I don't have any desire to do it with anyone in specific (maybe at most, my partner on occasion, but it's repulsive with everyone else), I can't even imagine being with some random person or even finding them "hot". In this sort of sense, do I lack that type or estrogen or not? (considering that I feel like I have an excess of that in terms of action, but too lacking in terms of attraction, even when I used to try and convince myself that I "can be allo")

My asexulity is like my autism. I don’t want a cure. That’s my brain you’re talking about fundamentally altering.

@CrystalMouse1

4 жыл бұрын

Dragoneta Slayer fellow aspie here wazzup 👋🏼

@hannahseling1513

4 жыл бұрын

As a fellow ace person with several family members with genetic mental "disorders" (I don't like that word very much because of the negative connotations), I also find it so annoying when people are like "cure autism" or "cure asexuality". There's nothing wrong with us. We're not broken. We don't need fixing. We're just different. Period.

@archerestarcher

4 жыл бұрын

As a fellow autistic ace, aspy specifically, I completely agree.

@daddyleon

4 жыл бұрын

@@archerestarcher I'm guessing the ace makes the aspie easier? If you're just aspie I can see it being harder. But...I'm not ace, so I guess, I'm stuck with just imagination and empathy.

@egodeosum

4 жыл бұрын

I'm autistic and I'm not in need of a cure but I'm not at all threatened by the notion that this identity has an aetiology. I'm all for a persuing an physiological account of autism. Yes such an explanation might lead to a "cure", it is incumbent on us to insist and demonstrate that ours is not a defective existence but an autonomous and equal way of being. Sexual drive - and its absense - certainly is explicable in terms of functions of the body, this shouldnt in anyway undermine anyones identity. At least no more than understanding oneself as a contigent explicable being undermines personal identity in general.

I spent several years trying to figure out what was ‘wrong’ with me. Honestly I just assumed all my friends were abnormally horny instead of me being notably not horny.

God, that flag analogy. *chef's kiss*

@superiorchieftm8288

3 жыл бұрын

That feast analogy. Two chef's kisses

It appears some of the critique-of-your-critique is centered around the idea that House only "disproved" asexuality in one couple, and that's not representative of him "disproving" it for everyone. But that's exactly the point. When your body of work only includes ONE example of a thing, and that thing is shown as bad, evil, or in this case not-valid, you're not left with any reassurance that the writers believe that thing COULD be good or valid. And that blows. Awesome vid, can't wait to hear from you again

@DavidJBradley

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks so much, glad you liked it.

@setrakarcana4920

4 жыл бұрын

He says that everyone wants sex and doesn't believe otherwise, that's why he want's to find out what's wrong with the couple because asexuality doesn't exist.

@Call-me-Al

4 жыл бұрын

@@setrakarcana4920 ugh, I'm allo and I still hate that attitude. If you want to do the nature fallacy route (fallacy being natural =good) the ace traits being protected in nature makes sense the same way there is a lot of gay animals in nature: sometimes having more adults around to care for the babies that exists including the ones whose parents died is far better for the local population than absolutely every one producing their offspring. Not that ace people can't reproduce, but they will be less pressured by their bodies to get into dicey situations that leads to accidental reproduction, they only have to worry about asshole peer pressure.

@jonnanino

4 жыл бұрын

Woah, cool to see you on an ace vid DaThings! Love your ytps

@dreye3215

4 жыл бұрын

Even if it did include other ace people in the episode, just the idea of someone "disproving" another person's sexuality is kinda shitty. It enforces this paternalistic mentality towards LGBTIA people, which is often used as justification for policing us. "Oh, but we need to dictate your sexuality for you, you're too young/disabled/inexperienced to know it yourself".

The representation would've been genius when the guy had got his libido back only to reveal that he's still asexual cos he still doesn't feel sexual attraction. That way they could've explained what asexuality actually is to the audience and misconceptions could've been destroyed. Anyways, BoJack Horseman does a way better job and I'm glad that more asexual characters are included in shows

@thepip3599

3 жыл бұрын

Ooh! That actually sounds like it could be a neat story. I like that sort of thing. Like a tale of hubris. The more confident someone is about being right the more satisfying it is when they turn out to be wrong.

As a demisexual, it really lifts my spirits (especially during the pandemic) that you also wear a black ring on your middle right finger. It makes me feel less alone, considering one time I told my therapist I was asexual and he said "that doesn't exist" and I had to explain to an older guy that it in fact it IS real and I'm a person who is experiencing it, even if it's a subcategory of asexuality. Anyway, thank you for making this video :')

@aurora_skye

2 жыл бұрын

I'm demisexual, too!

@The_Rat_Qu3n3

Жыл бұрын

What does it mean to be demisexual?

@eiserneskreuz8408

Жыл бұрын

@@The_Rat_Qu3n3 You do not feel sexual attraction to people you don't know well and feel no emotional or romantic bond with

@eiserneskreuz8408

11 ай бұрын

@@mrpickles-hb6zx Keep being phobic somewhere else. It's not the way everyone is. Allo people feel the attraction even to people they are not close with, and even if they dont want to act on this attraction. Demisexuals do not, and it overshadows also their disinterest in hookup culture and such.

@jyjaeskz

9 ай бұрын

​@@eiserneskreuz8408Ok it's not your responsibility to explain, but I thought I'd ask if you're willing. What is non demisexual vs demisexual, like what's "normal" and what's different from that in demisexuals? Also do you think demisexuals are rare compared to that "normal"?

I used to love House, and I recently rewatched it and played the Nintendo game, and it's awful in handling a LOT of topics - gender identity, most mental health (calling people crazy and nuts in a vague way and restating that mental health has no effect on medical health time and time again), eating disorders, sexual orientation, non-straight or non-monogynous couples, ect. All handled horribly.

@andromeda_va39

Жыл бұрын

There's a House Nintendo game?? What system? How bad is it?

@dinuxplay8003

Жыл бұрын

that is house for you and that is why he is fun and amazing

@ryanmackenzie6109

Жыл бұрын

​@@dinuxplay8003"fun and amazing" is great until it starts having real world conveniences. Especially on topics that are already taboo like sexuality and gender. Some people will look at what house is doing as gospel, and use it as fuel to say they know better than people who are LGBTQ+ And then the community has to take time to unravel those misconceptions, and the stigma it adds will never be completely undone. So yeah, not as "fun and amazing" if you're on the other side of it.

@dinuxplay8003

Жыл бұрын

@@ryanmackenzie6109 that applies to anything that is fun and amazing. It certainly is no gospel but truth has fun in it too. LGBT community trying to unravel misconception? Lmfao. More like enforce em. Regardless point is you shouldn't take it to heart. That is what I meant by "fun and amazing". It always feels good to be on the other side when you are winning only.

@ryanmackenzie6109

Жыл бұрын

@@dinuxplay8003 Not everything fun and amazing has to hurt minorities. But I've got a feeling you don't believe it's fun at all if it's not actively hurting someone, with that jab at the community. I'll stop taking shit to heart when other people grow a heart and stop actively trying to put others down. I hope you'll learn some empathy before reality humbles you into it.

I've noticed that in more than a few films, Asexuality/Aromanticism became the thing to "cure". The actual term of Asexual/Aromantic wouldn't be used, but one character would be disinterested in a relationship or something like that, this would usually be presented as a bad thing, and then another character would come along and be that special person to give the first character their "sexual awakening". This usually came along with the trope of "I'm going to stalk and bother you until you fall in love with me".

@somegirl4631

4 жыл бұрын

I guess they would be demisexuale than. though it is dangerous, I'm demisexuale and the first time I felt sexual attraction to someone, I did believe he "cured me" from my Asexuality, it can get you into vary abusive relationships vary easily.

@shifra1967

3 жыл бұрын

I know, it's so annoying. The same thing happens when a character (usually female) doesn't want to be in a relationship and ends up 'learning their lesson', even if nothing else changed

@perrisavallon5170

3 жыл бұрын

This happens in Six Feet Under, except the character is still ace at the end and perfectly secure in the fact that he's ace and him and the stalker break up. It's a little iffy because it's unclear whether you're supposed to side with the stalker (and think the ace guy is a weirdo) or the ace guy (and think the stalker is creepy and unreasonable). You also have a gay character saying he thinks aces are actually secretly gay (and says the same about bi people), although once again it's a bit iffy because it's implied this gay character is insecure about all of the women he's slept with so he's always accusing people of being secretly gay. It's not the best representation, but it's still better than I expected for being a show airing around the same time as House. Also the ace guy is played by Rainn Wilson, and he's great in everything.

@belagrolaub8746

3 жыл бұрын

awww, yes, I was always salty about Seven-of-Nine from Voyager not being consequently ace. Everybody around her is trying to convince her that having sex is part of the human condition bla bla bla instead of trying to figure out what SHE wants

@dalek_4252

2 жыл бұрын

have you just described sheldon cooper from the big bang theory?

Don't forget the episode with the trans woman that everyone, including House, treats like she's some sort of deceptive monster.

@Starfire861

4 жыл бұрын

Or the episode where House bullied and misgendered an intersex girl who was being sexually abused by her father. Why did he misgender her? To make her father feel icky for being “gay” and not, you know, sexually abusing his daughter.

@arisukom

4 жыл бұрын

Do you mind telling me The episode?

@natalieshark

4 жыл бұрын

Fernanda Ribeiro Mello I honestly can’t remember. I think it’s in season one.

@StudlyFudd13

3 жыл бұрын

I'm glad I never watched any of this show. It didn't appeal to me then, and it doesn't appeal to me now.

@mandarinablue8438

3 жыл бұрын

@@StudlyFudd13 I can honestly say that your thoughts about the show are mine. I'm glad I didn't watch it.

Love that because I'm watching videos about asexuality, KZread is now giving me ads for a webinar to "fix my intimacy issues" if I have "messed up hormone levels or trouble connecting with my partner".... As if my years of research, changing medication, crying and thinking I'm "broken" weren't enough for me to now know that I've always felt this way I'm actually not some libido-poor medical anomaly, I'm just ace. Thanks KZread, great targeted advertising choices

I actually hate House! I have a rare chronic genetic condition (EDS) and it’s vastly misunderstood and even most medical professionals don’t have a clue. An episode of House featured EDS where we were portrayed as solely hoarding agoraphobics who can have recurrent miscarriages. It isn’t a psychological condition (nothing wrong if it was and there are many of us with poor mental health and there might be a link with ASD) My community was outraged. The primary features of EDS are frequent joint subluxions and dislocations, pain, fatigue, gastro issues, postural or this tactic intolerances and MCAS and that’s just scratching the surface. I would be happy if House disappeared entirely only being remembered when discussing the Mandela effect. For a better rep of Eds greys did it, series 13 episode 4!

@yourlocaltheatrekid900

9 ай бұрын

Oh my god YES! I have Hypermobility, with a ton of symptoms super reminiscent of hEDS, and have subsequently done a ton of research on both of them. The EDS episode had me *seething*. Like “oh you had a miscarriage? You have vEDS!* like NO, THATS NOT HOW THAT WORKS WTF

Lets not forget the time he discovered that a patient was intersex, misgendered her repeatedly thereafter, and then said that her being "manipulative" was a trait of her hyperfemininty caused by her condition. That episode... is about the time I stopped liking House.

@lord_xylozdoomsday959

4 жыл бұрын

People act like being intersex is a illness cuz they don't want to know that there more out there then jus fully male or fully female

@yunamchill9169

4 жыл бұрын

@@lord_xylozdoomsday959 I'm hugely fascinated by the intersex community. They're so shrouded in mystery and I mean, just the concept is so mindblowing in a good way. That's how I started disliking Alpha/Omega. Why turn a human basically into an animal and make men give birth when a story about intersex people would be so much more interesting and natural? I mean, smh.

@Jackylification

4 жыл бұрын

Was that by any chance the one where her dad was having sex with her and then only had a problem with it because she was biologically male? And she was blamed for it because she was ‘manipulative’? I vaguely remember that as being a house episode

@cawareyoudoin7379

4 жыл бұрын

Exactly that one. I remember being uncomfortable with it, not even knowing why- I didn't know much about LGBT+ and intersex people.

@EpicNinjaEm

4 жыл бұрын

@@Jackylification oh god i remember that episode, i'd completely forgotten about it until you described it

I remember watching one episode where a 15 year old girl has Androgen insensitivity syndrome and when House diagnoses her he starts referring to her as a boy simply because she was born with XY chromosomes

@SLYKM

4 жыл бұрын

This episode unintentionally proved trans as legitimate in many ways, but they were also such pricks in handling if it. One, she was assigned female at birth, and despite her chromosomes, she was happy as a girl. When she found out she had xy chromosomes, she felt great distress about the idea of being a boy bc she is actually a girl despite chromosomes. So she ended up being assigned the correct gender at birth, and when they tried to match her identity to xy chromosomes, she experienced pain in being misgendered. But they fucked up the narrative by framing her gender identity as wrong or a lie. And they also were sexist bc manipulation was part of her illness from female hormones and she even stripped naked to prove she was a girl. Like this whole thing was not handled sensitively, even in their own narrative they treated her like shit, bc house didn't avert his eyes or encourage her to cover up, he just looked surprised and oogled her.

@hieithefox

4 жыл бұрын

I love House but that was one of many episodes that pissed me off

@rei9392

4 жыл бұрын

I was just about to talk about it, isn't that transphobic? If she identities as a woman then she is a woman!

@edadankmemes

4 жыл бұрын

SLYKM That's House's character. His whole demeanor is the complete opposite of an ideal doctor, but he's also a genius. He's a prick, and even the other doctors don't like him while also respecting his mind. House also deliberately riles up his patients and associates to patients to find information about them ie finding out family relationships. House is not a good person, from his abrasive demeanor to his bigotry. Like, it feels good when House actually does get things wrong, it shows that he's not always in the right.

@superhypershadic665

4 жыл бұрын

@@aienbalosaienbalos4186 Actually, feeling like a woman or a men is something that exist, you see, it has been proven that the brain of a woman and the brain of a male are different, and sometimes a brain more femenine is in a masculine body. And the "feelings" part is what creates gender disforia which is the thing that makes, for example, mtf people to feel extremely disconfort with their sex, is not thinking that your live will be better if you're sex is different, but to feel a disconection between what you feel and you're body (also sorry if I make some mistakes, english is not my first lenguage)

Dang disproving someone's non-hetero sexuality on a tv show? They keep slapping the same sticker over more sexualities, homophobes did the same thing with gay characters.

I literly freek out when any creator mentions asexuality in a positive light. It makes me feel so validated.

@martlettoo

9 ай бұрын

If people wouldn't think it was weird, I'd write all of the characters in my novel as ace. Honestly, so sick of stories getting sidetracked by "romantic" aka lustful b-plots. Or it just becomes the a-plot. I dare most writers to write a novel/script with no sex or romance. Most wouldn't be able to come up with a story. I'm not aromantic personally, but I sure am sick of it taking over every story. I actually have to work hard to remember to add non-ace orientations to my characters because I just don't care, lol. It's actually made me feel at odds with most writers who start with "sex" and add a story later

@KuroiShiAnimu

8 ай бұрын

Validation is like drugs, try to feel good about yourself without external stimuli

@annara686

8 ай бұрын

​@@martlettoo, so I'm not alone seeing this issue in literature. They add romantic storyline where it needed and don't needed. To show how annoying it can get I'll compare it to potatoes being added in all the dishes you consume: Meat with potato, soup with potato, ice cream....also with potato, glass of water...with potato slice floating in it 😂

@martlettoo

8 ай бұрын

@@kelpermoon23 I write them that way because **I** am ace, and that's what comes naturally. I care about a fascinating, complex character with many challenges, so that's what I spend my time on. Not imagining a fictional love life. Like I said, I have to remind myself that some of these characters would be intimate, but I don't start with hot and bothered people and then cram them into a plot structure. I don't write them like that to relatable or not relatable, I write them ace because I'm busy telling an actual story, not narrating someone else's tingly feelings that add nothing to a plot, and usually detract from it. I think people forget that many, many people have done amazing, dangerous, crazy things without stopping to drool over each other every five minutes. Turns out one could, say, fight an entire war without ever ending up in a love triangle. Just seems like most authors and readers have forgotten there's more to life. Besides, I have many characters in loving romantic relationships as well as loving non-romantic relationships. But their dating problems and private time aren't the story, because I actually came up with a plot that's more than x number of people being indecisive about who they want to sleep with.

@martlettoo

8 ай бұрын

@@kelpermoon23 Also, you need educate yourself about ace people, and really the world at large, because sex and love are not the same thing. Being asexual does not have ANYTHING to do with not loving anyone. I never said I didn't have love in my story, now did I? It doesn't even necessarily have anything to do with hating sex or never having sex. Where did I say sex was bad or unimportant? What I said was, in essence, that it would be nice if not every story had pointless romance and list shoe horned in where it adds nothing to, or actively detracts from, the plot. Seriously, so many shows and books (YA books and shows especially) have gotten so out of control they literally don't have a plot beyond essentially just erotica. If people want to fool themselves into thinking they're reading anything more than that, fine, but if you want an actual story, look for the ace writers

I remember when I came out as Ace to someone in my life and they used this very episode to tell me that Asexuality isn't real and ngl this show has kind of sickened me ever since

@Cyberwar101

2 жыл бұрын

It's a TV show with a laughably bad medical practice shown. If that is their source for such information I weep for the future.

@lovepantalone_kaeya

2 жыл бұрын

@@HermitKing731 wtf? : |

@lovepantalone_kaeya

2 жыл бұрын

@@HermitKing731 well..I hope you let go of your internalised acephobia.

@watermelon-jw6lt

2 жыл бұрын

@@HermitKing731 can we swap i'm literally the opposite of you omg and it scares me. bro i'd love to be asexual cuz with society so focused on sex i literally cannot be comfortable feeling sexual attraction without feeling like people are watching me every single second! i literally feel like being asexual would be amazing because i could just NOT feel sexual attraction and not care abt whatever society thinks. that's why whenever i call something "sexy" i feel gross inside and just stay with calling things "beautiful" instead cuz it's less about wanting to fuck things and society watching you, but rather because beauty is versatile and makes me think of something more than just goddamn sex!

@dukiroki6891

2 жыл бұрын

@@HermitKing731 the fuck are you saying lol

Hous MD did this a couple of times. There was a really disgusting b plot in one episode with a trans character. She was played by a man, House and everyone else constantly referred to her with "he/him" pronouns, and instead of using her name he just called her "the transvestite". Not a very good show in terms of representation.

@DrGregoryHouseIT

4 жыл бұрын

I'm guessing you're referring to the episode 'Skin Deep'? That was... pretty embarrassing. Then she turned out to be intersex. That, at least, wasn't mocked.

@rei-rei

4 жыл бұрын

@@DrGregoryHouseIT I think you're mistaken. The intersex person in Skin Deep was played by a woman, Cameron Richardson. They were only revealed as intersex right at the end. House was offensive about it, mostly using it to spark homophobia in the father who had been sexually abusing them at the expense of the victim, his actual patient. I'm not sure how that's not mocking.

@Persimontree

4 жыл бұрын

@@DrGregoryHouseIT I'm actually not talking about skin deep. Just rewatched it and it's not the one.

@ngib059

4 жыл бұрын

ad wow you’re so original. I bow down to you, you amazing asshole. If only I (and many other people) knew my body better than an idiot on the internet 🙄

@lostcgi6040

4 жыл бұрын

ad Twat: 1. A person regarded as stupid or obnoxious. 2. A woman’s genitals.

This episode was my first experience with asexuality and as I grew up I genuinely thought that all I needed was the correct medication to be normal. I also still have lingering shame over subjecting someone to a non-sexual relationship.

@ActionYakPolice

9 ай бұрын

that's horrible, I'm so sorry when I saw the episode I was just grateful that I knew enough about asexuality by then to see it was wrong, but I knew that it was such a misunderstood topic that blatant misrepresentation like this would be harmful and it's so unfortunate you and others got hurt by it

How hard is it for people to not insult being ace like bro, they just vibing

I've identified as asexual for almost over a year now and when I told my mother her first question was "is it a hormone issue?" And I had to say "no its definitely not that" and she never really understood it and never asked anything about it. And whenever I mention I get looks that basically "oh yeah, sure you are" and what really hurt for me was when I started dating a girl back in January I told her straight up that I was asexual and her response was a mix of supportive but also mixed with a "oh I can fix that" mentality, which I think she never really got over as she was always trying to get me aroused as she (and I'm paraphrasing but still pretty much what she said) "has never been more turned on by a partner then with me" which put this like massive pressure on my shoulders like I almost had to be sexual in the relationship to a point where I thought I'd just go get viagra or something just so I could make her happy. It wasnt until early June when i decided all the pressure wasnt worth it and then broke up with her

@xyellowcoffeexfatrat7923

4 жыл бұрын

If anybody is ever making you feel uncomfortable, please have a chat with them. If they don't agree with you being asexual or just her wanting it and you not, I recommend sorting something out. Breaking up is always the easiest way though, no pressure amigo 😼 also I'm sorry you had to feel that way, you're strong

@reidthepaige211

4 жыл бұрын

@@xyellowcoffeexfatrat7923 thanks, but it wasn't just the pressure to preform, there were a ton of fights that basically ended in me just defending things that I really shouldn't have needed to, by the end there was just too much fighting and I was just mentally, emotionally, and physically, tired of it all

@nobodysXghost

Жыл бұрын

that's literally rape culture to a tee. if the genders were reversed in your situation, people would see that clearly. acephobia is always steeped in rape culture, ideas of purity and procreative duty from living in a christian society, and amoronormativity-and it's bad for everyone. the worst is when they're actually more into you because they fetishize you aceness as being 'pure', a challenge for them to overcome. a lot of people with sexual trauma who deal with it by becoming pseudo-predatory themselves (continuing the cycle) are attracted to me in this way- but they write it off as 'finally becoming sexually free' and that i'm slut shaming them.

@_stoops

10 ай бұрын

“Oh but maybe you haven’t met the right person yet!” Actually enrages me to no end

@venomousbunny9875

9 ай бұрын

I missread this and thought you were dating your mum

Being so excited that someone just acknowledged asexuals that you tweet about it is honestly such a mood

@DavidJBradley

4 жыл бұрын

What can I say? I'm easily pleased. Also hi Grace, I love your videos 😳

@WhatsSoGreatAboutThat

4 жыл бұрын

@@DavidJBradley Haha, thank you! I know, if anyone even mentions asexuality in passing I do a little dance.

"You can imagine how excited I was about Florence" Dante Alighieri: "Can't relate"

@jooree7696

2 жыл бұрын

As an italian i can relate to the comment

That's why Todd is basically my favourite Ace representation. He was already my favourite character in Bojack Horseman because of his dumb ideas and he was very funny, but then he realized to be ace and I loved him even more because I relate to him and it's thanks to him I discovered my own asexuality. I think it just feels natural and I love it. Also, I never expected Spongebob to be Ace as well, but I think it fits his character and seeing one of the biggest names in cartoon history being an ace icon it just felt heartwarming to me after this

@phoney2627

Жыл бұрын

Another good thing about Todd is that he's not a cold and unemotional asshole genius like many other ace characters you see on tv or other kinds of media

@giasca

Жыл бұрын

@@phoney2627 Yeah. I think the choice of making him not only basically the comedic relief, but also one of the very few characters in Bojack to not be a dick is great

I literally had a tumor on my pituitary that affected all of my hormones.... still ace..

@gallerinafromverdantisland1457

2 жыл бұрын

Can I ask what symptoms you had? I'm actually a little suspicious I may have something like this.

@xzombee4168

2 жыл бұрын

@Kelly linze old man what do you mean?

@xzombee4168

2 жыл бұрын

@@gallerinafromverdantisland1457 I had migraines daily, always sleeping, gained over 100 pounds, my menstrual cycle stopped completely, affected my mental health, etc

@xzombee4168

2 жыл бұрын

@person person honestly I'm not sure! for me it resulted in having to take replacement hormones and hgh replacement. it made me basically regress to before puberty and then I went through menopause. they said I probably had it my whole life so

@xzombee4168

2 жыл бұрын

@person person oh wow, definitely not for me I'm barely 5" 3

It would have been so easy for the show to just cure his tumor, maybe he would get his libido back (depending on when the tumor arrived he might have had some before), him still identifying as asexual in the cultural sense as he would still have no sexual attraction. And his wife also still being ace.

@mariondumont7634

4 жыл бұрын

Or even have a reversed situation. Someone come to a consultation because they have no sex drive and think they are sick. Letting House finding the person is in fact asexual and that nothing is wrong with them.

@vinnyart92

3 жыл бұрын

I think it could've been interesting if the husband's tumor was removed, he was seemingly cured, but he still felt no sexual attraction and proved House wrong

This episode made me so mad when I watched it being young Even I as a child hated people forcing others into becoming something they are not

I always love when people say *everyone* experiences something, like sexual attraction, like sure buddy, over 7 billion people definitely have the same lived experience, that makes sense statistically lmao

My own doctor had never heard of asexuality and tried to say "when you become sexually active." I haven't gone back to her since.

@averyeml

3 жыл бұрын

I had a similar problem when I went for a well-woman so I could get birth control (partially for hormonal migraines and partially because on occasion I am sexually active) and when I explained I’m asexual to my doctor she ignored what I was saying and left the room so I would “have a moment to say goodbye to my virginity, and collect myself before ‘it’ happened” 🙄 Oh, and the kicker was she didn’t want to give me a prescription for birth control because at the time I hadn’t been sexually active and she said I shouldn’t take any until I have been???? Like that’s LITERALLY terrible advice. “Roll the dice once before you protect yourself. 🤷🏼‍♀️”

@swilson5320

2 жыл бұрын

Something similar has happened to me but under different circumstances. It was kinda traumatic.

@ryanmackenzie6109

Жыл бұрын

​@@averyemlholy shit that woman should not be a doctor

@ElliotKeaton

9 ай бұрын

Damn, a doctor said something that applies in almost all cases. What a bitch. This is why hospitals should only hire soothsayers.

@Vicky-gi2st

9 ай бұрын

When I was going to my therapist she didn't want to believe my asexuality when I came out to her at the age of 14 because I was "probably a late bloomer" I am 19, almost 20 and I still identify as ace and I brought it up to her Her response? She believes I was sexually assaulted by someone in my family when I was a child thus this damaging my psyche and my growing up process and how I view sex and that she will try to continue our therapy until I will feel comfortable enough to "tell her the whole story" I am looking for a new therapist currently lmao

Then there was that episode where a woman was punished for wanting an open relationship by mysteriously contracting a dangerous STD that nearly kills her. Or that time a fat person was ridiculed for *shock* liking food and sex and then just gets freaking lung cancer for no reason. This series has plenty of yikes episodes

@Silburific

4 жыл бұрын

I always viewed the episode with the fat man as a critique of the medical system as a whole; the fact that these doctors were so convinced that his health problems _had_ to be related to his weight that it never even occured to them to run other tests. He might never have had his cancer diagnosed because so many doctors are prejudiced assholes, a frighteningly common reality.

@employee4275

4 жыл бұрын

The episode about George didn't make fun of him at all, the whole point was that making fun of him was wrong

@pheonixrises11

4 жыл бұрын

Silburific 17 this can weirdly happen to pregnant women, too, sometimes. I had a friend’s mom who nearly died because doctors ignored her saying she didn’t feel right compared to her previous pregnancies. while I understand trying to reassure someone who likely is simply suffering the effects of pregnancy, they should still be aware that it could be something far worse. but what do I know

@jdprettynails

4 жыл бұрын

I actually quite liked the ending with the fat guy because the entire episode they're blaming his condition on his weight, but when it's revealed he has lung cancer he says "I've never smoked in my life..." It just further drives home the idea that most people can accept a non smoker with cancer, but a healthy overweight person is nonsensical. It was the first time I'd ever felt seen tbh. I just wish they would have addressed Chase's gross attitude a bit better. He learns nothing.

@Silburific

4 жыл бұрын

@@pheonixrises11 It happens to women all the time. Doctors are literally taught not to take pain complaints from women (or people of color) seriously because women be exaggerating, amirite? So many women have severe endomitriosis undiagnosed for so long because medicine is and always has been a male-oriented field. You'd think in the year 20xx, when a woman says her period is so painful she vomits that a doctor might think "well, that's not right- better check you out", but NOPE! "Lots of women have painful periods". Yeah, dipshit- something's wrong with them too!

I remember watching this episode and waiting for some sort of end reveal where everyone learns that “asexuality isn’t a medical condition it’s just a lack of sexual attraction to people and it’s okay for people to be ace” or something.

One of my fav shows that gave me comfort in my newly realised ace identity was Bojack Horseman in the form of Todd and Maude. I would love a deep dive analysis from you on that show since asexuality is a key point for Todd's character and they had an ace advisor and actual ace VA for the character of Maude, youtuber Echo Gillette. Anyways to try to keep this short, I love your vids keep up the good work!

“If it doesn’t apply to them directly, it surely cannot be real.” I am shook. As a bisexual, this is exactly why people think that I have to ‘pick a side’... but equally it’s symptomatic of a problem within the bisexual community where we assume that everyone is some shade of bi because that’s the way we see things. Interesting. But sorry. Ace people are valid and beautiful people.

That's why I prefer Black Jack. He's like japanese House, a genious unlicensed surgeon who once operated on a falling airplane. And I identify with him as an asexual person. He isn't officially anything, but in the fandom everyone agrees he is asexual. Oh and he's also quite less of an asshole.

@javelinnia3203

4 жыл бұрын

Sounds cool, tell me more about that

@samd.4921

4 жыл бұрын

Black Jack is an awesome series! Probably more like the precedent for House depending on the writer’s inspirations as they have parallels (geniuses with unpleasant personalities, horrible injury leaving them disabled or disfigured). However I tend to find Black Jack to be a much more likable person despite his rude tendencies lol. I never really thought about it but I suppose I identify with him more than I thought with his interests in medicine and general disinterest in finding a partner suggesting asexuality

@thepowerisyetunknown7710

4 жыл бұрын

@@javelinnia3203 Well it's a manga by Osamu Tezuka, the guy who made Astro boy. It later got adapted into multiple anime series. I watched the tv version in Crunchyroll back in the day, maybe it's still there. The OVAs just got added to retrocrush. I suggest starting with the tv version if you can.

@sephiriza

4 жыл бұрын

There is one chapter of a manga that is really iffy, though, and I dunno if it can be passed as a product of its time... Spoiler: A woman needs to get rid of her uterus due to health complications and Black Jack straight up tells her she'll stop being a woman because of that before asks her again if she's ready for the procedure. And after that she just changes her gender, I guess and assumes the role of man. Oh, and they were attracted to each other, but it went nowhere after the girl disappears and, uhhh, stops "being a woman" and then reappears again.

@Anna-bm3oe

4 жыл бұрын

I looove Black Jack, specially Young Black Jack 💙💙

There was also the episode where a character who was discovered to be intersex was revealed to be predator who raped her own father, and once her male organs were discovered house started using male pronouns for them against her wishes... just AWFUL connotations for the transgender and intersex community.

Reminds me of that one time I was part of an LGBTQ+ dating community (before I started questioning being aromantic too) I said I'm ace and the dude I was talking to IMMEDIATELY told me there was something wrong with me, my hormones and I should get that checked. On a positive sidenote, he got banned like an hour later because I reported him lol

“I said the writer’s name wrong for the entire video” well she got our orientation wrong for an entire episode of a critically-acclaimed full-length TV show, so 🙃

@pixelsoda

4 жыл бұрын

@some rando don’t want to sound mean but from my understanding she was trying to spread awareness and it wasnt her decision to include the part where house “disproves” asexuality

@wyntertheicewyvern6226

4 жыл бұрын

@@pixelsoda okay, but if that is the case, then whoever did decide for House to 'disprove' asexual made any attempts at spreading awareness null and void. Because people who say asexual isn't real will use House's point of view to try and 'prove' their point.

@pixelsoda

4 жыл бұрын

Laura James oh i’m not saying the episode isn’t offensive or bad because it is and it really misrepresents ace ppl, i’m just saying that it’s not that specific writers fault for it being that way, it seems like she was really frustrated with the team for spinning her concept into what it became.

@wyntertheicewyvern6226

4 жыл бұрын

@@pixelsoda oh, I understand that. It just seems really irritating that the rest of the writing team decided to devalue her attempts at spreading awareness by implementing the societal belief of asexuality not being real.

I had a discussion with a very sexually active person (who also said that he was a very open person, but i guess not) just this summer about asexuals. He couldn't understand WHY people are asexual because "sex is such a good realse for your mind and body". He also said that it is just probably people who cant get laid so they "made up a sexuality as an excuse for not having sex" which made me so flipping angry that I had to take deep breathes before I started my side of the discussion. I told him, just as he is a straight dude who craves sexual realses, there are people who doesnt have that crave, which is perfectly normal and okay! But, this stupid cishet man couldn't get it through his narrow mindset, even though we had a veeeery long discussion about it, that asexuals are valid and are perfectly normal aswell. And i was so happy in Sex education that they made this representation for the asexual community.

This is slightly unrelated but I wish asexuality was taught about, or even just mentioned in schools.

@maefromnitw4091

3 жыл бұрын

oh my god I agree

@maelenia

3 жыл бұрын

yes, so many people don't know they are asexual because of the lack of education about it.

I think it would be more in character for House that even when proven that he doesn`t know everything, he can`t bare to admit to anyone else he was wrong, even though he knows he was. Wilson: "Well House. For once, you were wrong. But don`t take it so hard, everybody`s wrong sometimes." House: "This never happened, and if you tell anyone I`ll piss on your coffee every morning." House walks away. Wilson: "Such a sore loser."

@Rozdlc

4 жыл бұрын

I think it would have worked a little better if like he "figured out what was wrong " with the husband but kept the wife be ace. Could end with House being annoyed and arguing with his buddy who actually won the bet.

"There had to be a mystery for House to solve and he had to be right." Was the idea of him just... turning out to be wrong and this being a learning experience for him just not on the table? Was the show truly so dedicated to having its protagonist come out on top *every single time?*

@dinuxplay8003

Жыл бұрын

there are moments that he lost, this is was certainly not one of those

They could've just... made the wife ace. House could've looked into them both and been stumped by the wife and rejoice at his discovery of the husband's tumour and the go back to being stumped by the wife. Maybe even the guy had a lower libido _and_ was asexual. This really was completely unnecessary and easily fixable, what the hell?

i didnt realize this video is 3 years old and when he called PhylosophyTube "he" i almost had an aneurysm

@queerantine69

9 ай бұрын

Same😅😅

I was a young teen when I first saw this episode. I watched it with my mom and I felt very iffy about the episode 'disproving' asexuality, so I mentioned my discomfort with that theme out loud. My mom told me she doesn't believe in asexuality. Years later, I'm afraid to come out as ace to her because I absolutely don't want to go through the ordeal of trying to validate my identity, and every time the subject of relationships or attraction comes up, I remember this episode of house and have a viscerally uncomfortable reaction that leaves me off-kilter for hours. So. Yeah. Maybe if media didn't treat my orientation as a joke and represent it completely wrongly, I wouldn't have struggled for years to come to terms with it. IDK that may be just me \: Edit: this isn't meant as an attack on the idea you expressed towards the end of the video! Merely my past experience, and kind of me realising why I've come to consider diverse representation to be so important.

@DavidJBradley

4 жыл бұрын

I feel like that was the point I was making. I firmly believe that we need good, thoughtful representation of all marginalised groups because of the positives it can have. And coming out is hard to do. Can't offer much advice there beyond only do it where you feel safe doing it.

@mentallyunstable1926

4 жыл бұрын

Today I saw this video in my recommended so I decided I’d watch it later. I told my mom about it and she said that there was a reason for it because it’s house. Needless to say I’m very deep in the closet.

@theoistrying9904

4 жыл бұрын

Mentally Unstable umm tv shows aren’t reality

@ebonyblack4563

4 жыл бұрын

Being intimidated by her not believing in it is understandable. You're allowed to only share your identity with those you feel safe and accepted by. It's unfortunate to not be able to trust someone close to you with something so personal, and I hope you find a way to bridge the gap. Maybe try framing the idea from a perspective they can grasp, not even necessarily using sex. It could be any activity that's popular or considered the 'norm' that they don't feel an urge to participate in. I've seen some people successfully explain Ace using other sexualities, something like: You're not attracted to X, right? I'm like that, but for all options. Note: Both my partner and I fall in the asexual spectrum, but only recently learned the words to describe and identify that. Neither of us have felt a need to explain ourselves to others; because, we are who we are, and getting the proper label didn't change anything. You are great as you are. You don't need to come out if you don't feel it's safe for you or it's too difficult right now. You know yourself, that means you can build on that, and better help others who may need your understanding too.

@supercomputer0448

4 жыл бұрын

I don't get why it's such a big deal. Just say you're asexual and call her a primitive monkey for liking that disgusting shite. It's not a thing you need to come out as. It's a thing you just tell people you are.

Honestly, i hate all the little misinformation about asexuality, because when i finally felt comfortable coming out, I got told that it didn't matter and didn't need to be brought up ever, because I'm married. I just discovered your videos, and i like how calmly you dissect things, and it's great to see more people that feel like me.

@videogamebomer

4 жыл бұрын

If you married at that point it really doesnt matter

@Dxs4all

3 жыл бұрын

@@videogamebomer BEGONE, APHOBE.

@arandomuser9459

3 жыл бұрын

@@videogamebomer Yes it does. I see no reason for it not too. Marriage doesn’t suddenly take away your sexuality or make it unimportant or something that’s just stupid.

I’m not finished with this video so I hope I’m not jumping the gun, but if they didn’t want house to be wrong, it could’ve been pretty easy. just make it all EXACTLY the same, but have the couple at the end go “thanks for finding that tumour, that could’ve been bad. we’re still asexual tho”

Stuff like House is why it took me until my 30's to realise I was asexual. I just assumed I had low libido, but that made no sense, cos I did have a libido, just no interest in doing anything about it. I caved to toxic masculine peer pressure for years because of it. I'm glad I'm in a better place now, but I still feel I have a lot to learn about being Ace, so I'm glad there are people like you making these videos 🙂 Thank you

I'm asexual, and I literally wouldn't care if I was in a relationship with someone who wasn't asexual. The only thing I'd care about, is for the other person in the relationship to respect that I have no sexual desire or attraction. I'm also sick of people saying we aren't LGBT. We are. We do not feel sexual attraction.

@marsimane259

4 жыл бұрын

from a proud bi , ya'll are valid af , and we love you ! also aces and bi's are probably the two sexual identities that get the " its just a phase" the most , so i feel you ! stay proud !

@snowflakefrankiero

4 жыл бұрын

I'm an ace (though more on the grey end) in a relationship with an allo though I'm sex positive I have discussed with them that sometimes I just don't feel comfortable with sex. He 100% respects that and I'm so glad

@tyrennosaur

4 жыл бұрын

As a fellow member of the LGBTQIA+ community, you are part of it and so very loved and welcome. (One of us, one of us!) I think asexuals have to face some of the most ignorance and hate out of all of the groups of the LGBTQIA+ community.

@litchtheshinigami8936

4 жыл бұрын

@@tyrennosaur oh defenitely.. the things people say are so annoying.. like on top of being ace i have ADHD and autism.. imagine having social anxiety trough the roof and people making comments about UGH YOU JUST NEED THIS OR UGH YOU JUST HAVEN'T FOUND THE RIGHT PERSON.. all bullcrap and it angers me to a point where i want to smack them and yell at them but my social anxiety causes me to just completely stay mute because selective mutism is a bitch.. like sometimes i wish i wasn't ace just because of these comments.. like my country is pretty accepting when it comes to sexuality but there are still some short sightes sons of bitches out there that just can't and won't understand

@mslightbulb

4 жыл бұрын

I thought I was asexual, and tough in my case, years have proven me wrong. In those years I learned a lot about asexuality and the asexual spectrum (because my reaction to being or having something is always to research). And I have a lot of respect for the ace community. If my partner was asexual I would never try to change them, or pressure them, because hey, it’s not that big of a deal.

I was 15 years old back when this aired and just had found my identity as ace and told it to all my close friends and family. The only good thing about this episode was that it prepared me to the exact same reaction last year, when I went to the trans clinic. ''Are you sure you want testosterone, as many who identify as asexual, later get partners?'' To this day, I really don't get how those two statements contradict.

@leporid257

4 жыл бұрын

I've read multiple times that people find it creepy that they develop sexual attraction or ... urges when on T. (and a decrease when on E) Which can be scary, weird or (if still ace) unfortunate.

@AnimeLuver0604

4 жыл бұрын

@@leporid257 libido =/= sexual attraction though

@junehanabi1756

4 жыл бұрын

@@leporid257 Hormones don't affect most asexual people because hormones are not the source of their asexuality. Asexual people simply don't have sexual-desire the same as homosexual, bi-sexual, or heterosexual are just that and nothings going to change that. Hormones isn't going to give that sexual desire. Basically, you pulled a house in that comment and said injecting hormones can potentially fade-away to some extent asexuality. "they develop sexual attraction or ... urges when on T. (and a decrease when on E)" ---- this is saying you can become asexual if you switch to E and you can leave asexuality if you switch to T which by your own admission "can be scary, weird or (if still ace) unfortunate". If you take away a persons sex-drive you're not taking away their desire for sex. So if someone takes E, yes, they have a decent chance at losing all of their sexual drive and potentially develop inability to have sex...... However..... the important thing to note here is they're still sexual beings so they miss sex. They talk about missing it, they feel inadequate, they look for ways to bring sex and desire for sex back into their life. .... So they never became asexual. It's the same reason guys with ED or Low T looks for supplements to make their sex life healthy again. Sexual people never lose their desire for sex even if you remove their sex drive and hormones and ability to have sex. Conversely this means asexual people never become sexual and there's no way to give an asexual person desires or cravings for sex. They would be perfectly happy never having sex no matter what hormones they have in their body. Also asexual people can have sex, they just don't care about it and often it's of no interest to them.

@Cernoise

4 жыл бұрын

Asexual people can have desire without having attraction. Those are not the same thing.

@Meskarune

4 жыл бұрын

@@junehanabi1756 Actually when hormones take away my sex drive I lose all desire for sex. There are medical issues and things like birth control that can take away even romantic attraction. I have always wondered how someone would be able to tell the difference between a medical cause of no sexual desire and asexuality. As I am not asexual I have no idea how those experiences differ.

The amount of times I’ve had good friends of mine crying to me saying that no one will ever love them because they are asexual is too many to count and breaks my heart just thinking about. Not only do people not believe asexual people are actually asexual but they also don’t consider they could ever be a viable option for a partner. I am not asexual but my partner being asexual would never be a deal breaker for me and I feel like part of that is because I was introduced to it in a health way that didn’t *other* people who are asexual or act as if they are broken. That first introduction to a subject whatever it may be can matter so much!

Just found this video, and I haven't finished it yet but I wanted to say this: I was once with a dentist and she was injecting me anesthesia, she did so with a family member of mine who were in the same room as me, at some point we talked about how I have so much sensibility on my gums than the other family member and how they think I just exaggerate, the dentist said that in biology, and humans in general, 1+1≠2 all the time, sometimes it equals table, or pillow, but is different for anybody, from the way our body stores and distributes fat to the way our blood vessels and arteries and nerves are situated, they vary, from form to amount and distribution, even if it's only a millimeter, and it doesn't mean it's a medical condition or anything, it's just how humans are, and I'd won't be surprised if this applies to the human mind.

Well... I'm not Asexual, but I understand "it's sort of like I'm surrounded with huge feast with everything I could want to eat but... I'm not hungry".

I remember stumbling across this episode when my younger stepsister was binging her DVD collection of the series. I couldn’t not yell at the bet. I’m an asexual nursing student. Low libido is only a symptom of something if it’s a deviation from the baseline-ten years of an ace relationship is not a deviation from the baseline. My stepsister had to kick me out of the living room because I wouldn’t shut up about it.

Oh my goodness, finally a vid about this. This episode made me question my asexually so much! I remember I kept wondering “was there just something wrong with my body that I hadn’t figured out yet and that’s why I was this way?” Thank you for this vid. Hopefully younger individuals can come across this vid sooner rather than later and realize they’re valid.

Not ace, but you guys are great, idk why people hate y'all.

Recently discovered I’m ace, and this video is all around great!! And boy I LOVE that you used Ninja Sex Party as an example of no reason arousal lmao

@DavidJBradley

4 жыл бұрын

I like to think I am the first video essayist to realise the academic potential of No Reason Boner. Also I hope no-one likes coleslaw that much

@MisterAppleEsq

3 жыл бұрын

@@DavidJBradley I knew someone that liked coleslaw a lot, and I do wonder about them.

@justachonkyspider

2 жыл бұрын

NSP inadvertently wrote an ace anthem. 😄 Random note: I don't like coleslaw I think it's gross 😶

I had considered watching House a couple years ago, around the same time I realised I was asexual. Of course, before I could watch the show, I started researching asexuality and came across this episode of House. As much as I hate completely disregarding an entire show over one episode, I just can’t ever bring myself to watch it now because of this. I’ve met someone in my life (pretty uneducated) who believed wholly that I would ‘grow out of it’. Of course, I didn’t and I’m still a proud asexual. Really enjoyed this video, and I think your views on the episode were pretty insightful.

@elenanojkovic2554

4 жыл бұрын

Hi. Biromantic gray-ace here. I used to refer to myself as ace but then I discoverd the term gray-ace and I relate to it more. Anyways, that only happened a year or so ago and before that I actually met someone who was trying to convice me that 'ace People are just people who never had sex or have never had GOOD sex. Once you have it, or at least try to masturbate, you'll want it and will have sexual attraction to people." To this day I regret never saying to that person 'well, then straight People are just people who never had sex or never had GOOD sex with people of the same gender.' Because that is the logic they seem to be operating on. The reason why I swiched to gray-ace is I DO feel SOME sexual attraction but it's very, very rare and mild.

@kyab2815

4 жыл бұрын

Don't worry it's not just one bad episode. He is an awful person who regularly treats people like complete shit for no reason and the narrative of the show is that he is never ever wrong. So yeah. There's episodes on trans people, intersex people, rape victims, and more. These people are treated like shit, and everything he says is considered absolutely true but just rude to say to their face.

@edadankmemes

4 жыл бұрын

Kya B But he has been didproven multiple times by his coworkers. It's not often, but when it does happen it's pretty satisfying when House doesn't get his daily ego boost.

@videogamebomer

4 жыл бұрын

@@kyab2815 Its almost like the premise of the show is he is an asshole that get results are you gonma tell us the sky is bule too

@alertArchitect

4 жыл бұрын

Honestly I have a hard time watching House anyway, even if you disregard the problematic ways the show tries to represent LGBT individuals. I just don't enjoy shows with asshole main characters, and also I'm just one of those people that can't stand realistic-looking blood and organs like House or any other medical show go for. I just get grossed out.

I didn't realise this video was three years old until you used 'he' for Philosophy Tube and I was like WOAH

As a sex-repulsed Asexual, I honestly fucking hate that episode.

The number of times I (a young, athletic college student) have been told on the internet that the only reason I'm ace is probably because I'm unhealthy which lowers my libido is staggering

@kylehayden3113

3 жыл бұрын

@@antalkalous9604 I've heard people say that. It's probably because of the false belief that plant based products increase estrogen in the body, which it doesn't, and people assume that lowers sex drive in AMAB people.

I feel like the not-really-ace couple needs their own Lifetime movie. The poor guy has a tumor and his wife has been lying to him for years, and the show treats that like it’s a happy ending for them. It’s just the beginning of their movie about how they deal with all of those changes.

Just found this now (someone linked me one of your videos, and now I'm diving down this rabbit hole without a safety harness), and as an ace/aro/agender thank you for bringing up the problem writers (I'm also one of those) sometimes have-not knowing their topic. Being ace and aro, it was *_hard_* for me to write relationships into stories. It was impossible for the first few times to add more than just relationships (oh my indeed), but I committed myself to learning. Shows about sexuality are a big help (hi Dr. Doe fans!) as are just asking people for their opinions-candidly-on the topics. But, having spent the last 15 years of my life writing, I can now admit to ace/aro being my superpower. I have dedicated myself to writing all manner of relationships without my own experiences or needs coloring that. Wait, there was a point I was working toward here, what was it? Oh! Right, *_writers not knowing their topic._* No matter if you're writing a huge and expansive fantasy novel, a Haynes car manual, or a bodice-ripper-you absolutely *_must research and know the subject matter._* So she was trying to do a good thing but screwed it up-people with good intentions can still do harm. There was even a way that they *_could_* have adjusted their script to accommodate the House M.D. formula: have him "cure" the asexual guy, only for the guy to just shrug that off and say that doesn't change his opinion on sexuality. House could have been right (the guy had an issue causing ED) and the guy then could have leveled (justified) outrage at his SO for lying to him all this time. Phew. Wow. I needed to get that off my chest there. Point is, I hate lazy writers, and not doing research into the topic *_makes you a lazy writer._* Anyway, loving the videos.

had a therapist i met once and never again. she was like house as she just wanted to be right. my dumb self told her i was ace even though from the start i'd had bad vbes of her and hated her already. she then proceeded for the next ten minutes to find a solution about why i am ace and tell me it is a emdical issue and said she would contact my doctor. i told her no its just my sexuality and she proceeded to say oh so your not straight. i am straight so i just yeah i am straight btu only romantically. again and again she kept telling me im not valid and asking me if the reason i dont wanna have sex is due to sexual trauma (which i ahve none of) or if i have any medical issues and how i need to go to the doctor cause there is something wrong. no matter what i said it was she is right i am wrong. absolutely insane. we need good ace representation cause even people considered professionals have a mindset that is wrong about ace people.

@amouramarie

7 ай бұрын

Same same, except my case was my family doctor. Because he'd known me since the day I was born, he kept up with my family, and asked me as I grew up, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet?" When I finally said no, I'm asexual, he asked if I didn't like men. I'm STILL honestly kind of confused about the intersection of sexual attraction, libido, romantic attraction, etc, and knew even less then. I told him that, "Yes, I like men." "Yes, I find men attractive." And he then assured me that, No no, I wasn't asexual. I just had low libido. Considering that I watch porn and fantasize and get myself off, I didn't think that was right, but... I really had nothing to say to disagree. I think I've figured out enough that while I am attracted to men, I just don't want to involve anyone in my sexuality. That's just Me time. I don't know if there's a term for that, but I've grown comfortable enough that I don't need to have a label to know what I'm about. :)

Fantastic video mate. We need more people making content about our comunity x

@DavidJBradley

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Alice. And yes, more Ace content!

Just because he has a low labido or ed doesn’t mean he actually finds people sexually attractive, those things don’t change how your mind works. Just depressing that this was viewed by so many who will take that on whether consciously or unconsciously

I recently found out about asexuality and everything seems to click. I always knew I was different, I felt zero attraction to men so I thought I might be gay but I only felt physically close and comfortable to some of my close friends who were women but in a purely platonic and best friend way. I hate being touched by almost everyone, except for maybe my close family members and a few friends out of my total friend group. I hated the idea of going to the beauty salon, or massage centers because of the fact that people I don't know will have to touch me. I have tried both after my mom challenged me to get over the "fear" of people but I left feeling extremely rattled, repulsed and unclean. Both times I had to take a long hot shower and scrub myself clean to feel okay. Now I just cut my own hair, wax, etc. at home. I hated going to get my measurements done by tailors so I started stitching my own clothes or I just give a sample shirt that has my measurements for them to use to stitch. It's less of a fear but just a feeling of someone intruding my personal space. To a person like me, sex is the very last thing on my mind and it does create a sense of not fitting in and lying even though I am pretty honest about what I feel, even though I don't know the term. I've come across people that have told me that it's just a phase, that it's because I haven't found the right person, to maybe try to give it a chance and people that have said they could fix me. I already feel complete with just myself, why is that so hard to comprehend? Now I'm at the age where everyone is slowly getting married and people are waiting for me to get married, I swear I thought my options were to run away, become a nun or just marry someone to shut everyone up and then get a divorce or something. I never thought finding a word that is perfectly what describes me could make me feel like I'm not a weird or just confused for once. Sorry if it's too long, I just wanted to get it off my chest.

@imthebossmermaid3648

9 ай бұрын

I feel the same way but in reverse. I thought my lack of attraction to men was because I am ace, but in truth I am a lesbian. It’s so nice that we can relate on a few things.

Thank you, I didn't know why some ace could enjoy sex (masturbate or having sex) and still being represented as ace, but thanks to you now I understand that libido and sexual attraction aren't the same. I still don't get the fully difference, but I'll learn by the run.

If the writer meant to introduce asexuality as a valid orientation, why was the wife lying?

“...staring at the blinking cursor on a blank Word document while eating their third sleeve of depression Oreos”. MOOD

Can I just say your explanation of libido vs sexual attraction is hands-down the best I've heard? This was one area I always felt confused about when I would hear asexuals explain it. I didn't doubt their experiences but I did want to better understand what they meant. I'm allosexual but I write fiction and always want my characters to be as diverse people really are. While I don't currently have an asexual character in mind, should one establish themselves in a story, I'd want to provide positive and as accurate as possible representation. Sorry, long and rambly, I just really appreciated someone explaining something in a way my brain could get it.

People really will use the, "But he's SUPPOSED to be a bad guy!!!1!" to justify shitty writing, huh?

I remember seeing that episode when it aired. I'd known I was ace for a few years, since 2005, and House was my "popcorn" tv show I would have on in the background while writing my uni essays. But this episode popped up and I put everything down; it was the first time I'd heard "asexual" on tv. The first time a character that was *human* was referred to as such. I was shocked, I was hopeful. It was like a punch to the stomach that just didn't stop.

It's like appropriating the myth that gayness exists because people were traumatized by the opposite sex or have daddy or mommy issues or something🙄 I never liked house when I saw it but before a friend showed me it I only knew Hugh Laurie from Stuart Little in which he was a very kind idealized version of a father lol how opposite

My friend's younger sister is Ace and she was l i v i d about this episode while watching the series. Awesome to see a commentary on it!

Love how the default for bad media portrayal always seems to be "they aren't really that and it's just something wrong with you" Cuz goddamn.