As always, please use code “MALD” at CoolStuffInc.com for 5% off TCG supplies so I Don’t Get Fired!

@illcomplywithguncontrolone6149

2 ай бұрын

So what I'm hearing is you're a communist. Kinda ironic since green is the color of free shit and you hate it most. You being a blue player and making everything harder for literally everyone around you check s out though.

@skillganon606

2 ай бұрын

OG Teysa literally has you creepin behind her. And she's giving you the side eye.

I don't care who the Orzhov sends, I am NOT paying taxes

@credoakinuchi1364

2 ай бұрын

Cultured

@Joshua-gt7pz

2 ай бұрын

Then I'll ban your money.

@seanheath4492

2 ай бұрын

Hope you like postmortem indentured servitude. 😛

@jakobedavis8322

2 ай бұрын

@joshua-gt7pz That got me 😂

@specialk5523

2 ай бұрын

You will over your dead body.

"Orzhov makes more tokens accidentally than a Republican Super PAC does on purpose." BRO-

@kismet8010

2 ай бұрын

based writing

@samuelhowarth9994

2 ай бұрын

Bars

@nexmeles8023

2 ай бұрын

That sent me. Hahaha

She can’t just get it. The cardboard is your soul mate man.

@Shimiphew

2 ай бұрын

Oof this is too true😂😮‍💨

"I'll fuckin' do it again" Every Teysa player ever myself included

Teysa is one of my favorites for many reasons, first because I love aristocrat strategies, second because she attracts kill spells in a deck that loves seeing its stuff die, and third because the deck functions just fine without her on the field. She's just the icing on the cake. The deck will function and threaten even if she doesn't stay in play, having her stick around to untap just turns it into "okay now let's see if I can win this turn".

@Hashbrown1682

2 ай бұрын

Teysa be like: *Go ahead, make my day*

@rayswift5711

2 ай бұрын

That's my Izoni, Thousand-eyed, deck. It kills people by sacrificing my own stuff. Izoni just happens to create 100 critters when she etbs from time to time.

@dontmisunderstand6041

2 ай бұрын

A deck that isn't perfectly functional without the commander on field is a bad deck. If anything, she just teaches players how to actually build a real commander deck.

Bro gonna go into afterlife debt for a whiff

The most acurate description of Tesya Gameplay is: I don't need an strategy i'm just throwing Random people at you until i win... or i run out of people... and believe me i won't

If I'm remembering the old Ravnica lore right, the last guy who said "Yeah, she can get it" was later hacked to pieces by zombies. Worth it IMO.

But can she get it when she becomes a ghost? 🤔

@maldhound

2 ай бұрын

Boutta show her some ectoplasm

@Jimizacx

2 ай бұрын

@@maldhound Giving both a new and old meaning to the term Ghost Bustin'

@cliffordsherman7702

2 ай бұрын

@@maldhoundis ghost sex really cheating anyways?

@stephenlewis6922

2 ай бұрын

Especially when she is a ghost. Nothing more goth than that!

@lancesmith8298

2 ай бұрын

⁠”Bustin’ makes me feel good.” -Abraham Lincoln

Can we get Pia Nalaar, Consul of Revival at some point? Insult Boros, please, it makes us think that we are doing as much as everyone else.

@TehWinged

2 ай бұрын

i love pia nalaar. resolving a Dance with Calamity is basically just playing blackjack to see if i win the game or not

@matthewloser7567

2 ай бұрын

What about pia and Kiran nalar? Aka mom & pops one stop thop shop

We stan for Teysa standing on us

Yes, Mommy Karlov!

Can confirm: Teysa is the “can get it”est commander/ character.

the City Styles secret lair Teysa though? gawd damn normally the horny dollar doesnt go that far in Magic compared to other TCGs, but that's a $0.78 card going for $40+ and worth EVERY CENT day 54 of asking for Baron Von Count!

Joining the call for Magnus the Red

This card makes phyrexian alter as ashnods alter scary

@munchkingod6

2 ай бұрын

I run both. When you also have Elenda it’s VERY funny.

Fun fact: Teysa Karlov, as pictured here, is about 115 years old. She looks like a quarter of that _at most._

@changingname_goaway

2 ай бұрын

I was going to say minimum mid 90's. However, that's assuming that at the time of the original books, she was on the younger side of graduating from law school.

@charcharmunr

2 ай бұрын

Ravnican humans just sort of live inexplicably long lives. Agrus Kos was just over 100-odd in the original books and was mentioned to look old for his age.

@hiimemily

2 ай бұрын

@@changingname_goaway In one of the story columns for Commander 2015, she explicitly states herself to be 112. Ravnica Allegiance takes place a couple years later from what I can tell.

@changingname_goaway

2 ай бұрын

@hiimemily I did not know that, thanks for the info :). Some of the character ages can be pretty wild compared to the art huh.

@eliasstein8440

2 ай бұрын

@@charcharmunrthe fact that she’s a high-ranking member of the guild that deals in souls and the power of life and death probably helps too

Whole vid is good but updooted for This is Bullshit. Priceless.

Bro, it's not gonna be one of those feet on top of you, it's gonna be that cane.

@maldhound

2 ай бұрын

I’LL TAKE IT

Once more I beseech the Lord of Roasts to take a crack at Eight-and-a-Half-Tails. He's my favorite commander.

That Sun Tzu line was a rib-splitter.

I'm literally actively playing this commander in MTG Arena as I watch this

Regular Teysa art is more of just mom and aunt energy (just failing to hit older sister in the magic online and dragon maze ones). BUT THE CITY STYLES LAIR! That one explains how the triggers get doubled and why she gives everyone the ability to instantly raise their swords back up after attacking.

@Dtoszi

2 ай бұрын

Bought it for 16 because “fuck yeah Anime Teysa” holy crap the raise….

thank you mald for this Ive been waiting for months for this!

The Syndicate is pleased.

You know who the king of the deal is? Brawl commander Davriel, Soul Broker

And then there’s the fun bullshit that is Rally the Ancestors and friends. I want you to imagine a Storm deck. Now, I want you to imagine a Storm deck built on the backs of ceaseless corpses and also token goobers. You draw cards, you gain mana, you kill people, and you treat your cards like you’re playing whackamole in Inscryption. At least your opponents only get to die once, and not five times for the OTK

Can you do laughing jasper flint? Lizard bastard gaming is the best rakdos mill commander.

@changingname_goaway

2 ай бұрын

Yes. I tried a bit of this at the prerelease, and it it fun.

@Creetur

2 ай бұрын

@@changingname_goaway I was playing orzhov crime with Vadmir, but a friend was playing laughing jasper flint and he went off like crazy. Both of us ended up losing to this one guy who pulled both okos from the same pack.

The best Orzhov story is actually a Boros story: Bell Borca took out a life insurance policy with the Orzhov and came back to avenge his own death. Masterful.

Hehehehehehehehehehe my card! He finally did my card! And I love it! One time, one of my buddies brought his 9 year old nephew to Magic night and I bullied that child to the point that he decided that my commander and I were both equally Kill On Sight. I happened to draw both Grave Pact and Dictate of Erebos that game and I regret nothing, kid was annoying.

She's in my Commissar Deck which is basically an Imperial Guard role-play deck. It is a very good deck.

@jacobmcneer609

2 ай бұрын

I would like to learn more.

@drakefire6675

2 ай бұрын

@@jacobmcneer609 The best way to put in Magic terms is that it's aggressive Aristocrats. It has token doublers, lots of token output, a whole lot of effects that protect my commander, but not the rest of my board (as she does damage to opponents equal to the number of other attacking creatures I control). Combined with a lot of Blood Artist effects as well as Butcher, I focus on making my opponent lose more creatures or life than I did in any exchange.

If my memory serves me from the books, Teysa walks with a limp. She is going to have trouble stepping on anyone. Except metaphorically......she is good at that.

They might make accidental tokens but builing around Geralf, the Fleshwright on arena I've accidentally made upwards of 200 power worth of tokens with Rise from the Tides... Genuinely didn't expect the two to interact quite the way they do...

When chump blocking allows you to double tap with lifegain triggers just to really stick it to the man

one of my favorite decks ive built is w teysa, it's focused on multiplication and afterlife triggers to make as many dudes into as many triggers as possible without going infinite

Please roast Mari the Killing Quill. She's the mercenary mommy everyone needs.

AYO WIZARDS WHY DID YOU KILL MY MOM?!?!

@seanheath4492

2 ай бұрын

Teysa of the Ghost Council would like you to remember that death is a minor inconvenience for the Orzhov.

@Daxelman

2 ай бұрын

@@seanheath4492 Ghosts can't hug me when I'm scared. It may not be a problem for the Orzhov, but it is a problem for me.

@seanheath4492

2 ай бұрын

@@Daxelman If Ghostbusters has taught me anything, it's that ghosts can absolutely get physical with people if they want to. :P

@DefconLives

2 ай бұрын

​@@seanheath4492 I'll do you one better, Scary Movie 2 XD

Got get my boy discount Voldemort. Extus oriq overlord and his even funnier backside which is a sorcery in the command zone. Did i mention it is in mardu and both away to sac things and the outlet itself.

Gentle reminder to roast Mogis

how could you say she can get it without even showing the "if looks could kill" secret lair smh

@gemyniraptor8626

2 ай бұрын

She's not in that drop... I'm confused by your statement

@ANDELE3025

2 ай бұрын

@@gemyniraptor8626 She is in the City Styles secret lair and the art is pure SEX.

First Commander deck I ever built and still my strongest one. If you're left to your own devices with this card on board and a few combo pieces you absolutely can find a win, or at least a massive swing in advantage in some way. It's difficult to outright win a game without her on board in my experience, but the deck absolutely does function without her. The icing on the cake is that she combos extremely well with the other Teysa, being Orzhov Scion, giving you loads of bodies to sac, and potentially removal.

Teysa, my beloved. The commander that makes board wipes into wincons.

My 1st custom deck and still one of my favorites😂. The purest of goth mommy vibes. 3rd request for Yidris Maelstrom Wielder🙏🏾🔥.

You know, ratadrabik is also pretty funny with the ring mechanic and teysa

Damn.... Someone dethroned Navi, keen negotiator for the #1 spot of "can get it"...

One of my first commanders

Would love to request your take on Gimbal, Gremlin Prodigy (the name says it all)

The card that made me first interrsted in the game was Teysa, Orzhov Scion! So accurate Mald! Would go into debt to the Orzhov just to get her to notice me!

Smeagol, Helpful Guide!

A queen I will bow to

Teysa voted most gettable? Glad to see my man has some damn fine tastes.

She's greeeeeat in my Esper (Varina, the Lich Queen) Zombie commander deck. Dictate of Erebos, Vengeful Dead, Corpse Knight, Diregraf Captain, Sir Konrad the Grim, Black Market...One zombie dies, everyone else sacrifices 2 creatures + takes 6 damage (I gain 2 life) and 1-2 more target players take 1-2 damage on top, and I gain a stackable 2 extra mana every pre-combat main phase. ...and if it died from me attacking with it, that's 1+ extra life for me, 1+ draw, 1+ discard (Which if Konrad's out and I discard a creature card, that's another point of damage to everyone else). Even more damage if I have Sanguine Bond out.

She really is the ur-example of "specific mechanic gets a doubler" huh. Also Day ME of asking for Yorion Sky Nomad

@syrelian

2 ай бұрын

I mean, pretty sure thats Panharmonicon, the OG doubler of ETB Triggers

Tasha, the Witch Queen :D

I have a serialized teysa that I finally built a deck around, number 114.

Still mad they killed my boob window goth GF. Also, this version is the best and has been one of my favorite commanders I've built

Teysa is one of the major reasons I became such a lover of all things Orzhov

My teysa deck( dubbed teysa triplets because it has the first 3 teysas) is my favorite deck. I am constantly & actively trying to make it more powerful until I can consistently win with her.

Gaslight or fight, pull up the guild of deals

See I agree with the can she get it but SPECIFICALLY Teysa, Envoy of Ghosts❤

So now i have to ask for King of the Oathbreakers. Hes my commander of my Orzhov Debt Collection deck :P

@XenoSkulk

2 ай бұрын

(and yes, i run anything orzhov that makes you may mana. Trying to find an Esper Sentinal for giggles... I may also combo the King with Horobi, Deaths Wail)

You’ve toasted so many of my decks 😂 so I guess day 1 of me asking for you to come for Galadriel, Light of Valinor because I know I’m the problem. You know we get full value every turn.

Love her in my Caesar deck ❤

Teysa gaslighted me so hard that I rebuilt this deck.

I've had someone play a PARTIAL board wipe against me with Zombie Apocalypse, and between my multiple copies of Teysa and my multiple Heliod copies, I gained 600 life. Thank you Ratdrabik. I've had someone look through my Teysa deck. After a few minutes of doing so, they hand it back to me and flatly say "you're an asshole." I could not disagree.

Oh hey it’s my waifu ❤

I wish to hear your strong opinion on Judith, Carnage Connoisseur

Once again I am asking for Kiora sovereign of the deep

I am not a magic player, but teysa singlehandedly makes me attempt to be one every few months

I am again asking for Vorinclex, Voice of Hunger.

Another day asking for Jon Irenicus, Shattered one

As a Teysa player, I approve this entire message.

begging for magus lucea kane

Another day asking for the “Mad Auntie Blight” please?

It finally happened!! Yay!!

Have you done Gisela, Blade of Goldnight? I don't remember, and she's fun when she's allowed to go off.

begging for a Light-paws roast

I don't know where I make my suggestions, but oml go over Kudo, King Among Bears, I've been playing it as the most toxic stax deck imaginable, nobody comes back from Selesnya ramping into 20 mana by turn 5 and slamming a Grand Cenobite after also slamming a Living Plane or Nature's Revolt

Teysa is absolutely top tier get it.

When I was going through my binder of cards, looking for potential legendaries to make a commander deck around, it was realizing that I owned Teysa Karlov that got the 'oh no' response. I still haven't made it, because that honestly seems mean.

This version of her was my favourite for a long time.... but her ghost version is amazing

Urabrask / the great work

Ghyrson starn kelermorph asking for months. Give us the 2A commander

Once again requesting Urtet (Or Wernog+Bjorna)

There was someone playing this on Friday, it is BUSTED.

ROUND 7 FOR NEERA WILD MAGE (my brain is making up random numbers i am pretty sure)

Teysa Karlov is a deck that doesn’t really need her to be on the field to function. W/B aristocrats is a deck where each piece creates value until it goes infinite.

Yes my queen! Teysa!! not many people know this but she has one nip nop that’s darker than the other. Do Liliana Vess plz 🙏

but @mauldhound why was there no grave pact flash in the roast

@maldhound

2 ай бұрын

If i flashed every card that was ridiculous with Teysa Karlov my phone would’ve melted from the 18,000 overlays my friend

@skoons21

25 күн бұрын

I have the butcher of malakir in my deck, but now I need this as well.

the mycotyrant would be awesome 23rd time asking

video 4, can we get one of gihred, mirror of the wilds

Mald Teysa has a bum leg so for her to step on you she would have to sit down on a chair so im immediately thinking of Hibana from Fire Force lol.

@ValerieEnriquez

2 ай бұрын

Let's be real, she could use any of us as furniture and we would thank her for it.

Mald you should do wort the raidmother. All kinds of tax fraud happening in that deck

Please do Firesong and Sunspeaker Boros needs the burn ❤️‍🔥

She is the most "get-able" because you still don't roast Marchesa, the Black Rose. That's where the true insurance fraud is

how do you feel about xyrris?

Could you roast my man Yusri, Fortune’s Flame? He’s got a real gambling addiction for the Izzet players

Still waiting to see Jon Irenicus, Shattered One aka Bad Santa get his time in the spotlight

Is this not just like a ton of mana worth of card for 4 mana? Panharmonicon I don’t really remember the name but 2 mana “creature tokens you control have vigilance” And I’m sure there’s a 2-3 mana enchantment out there that gives creature tokens lifelink Average Orzhov tax evasion