Anxiety diminished for me when I started to stand up for myself.

@jjandregg693

9 ай бұрын

Wonderful

@mmommo-hx4dx

9 ай бұрын

love that thank you very helpful

@mildrisplested4804

9 ай бұрын

Well done 😅😅😅😅

@sirtchreyacts8741

9 ай бұрын

Same thing for me. I'm a little more assertive now because I've learned that this is healthy for someone. "Not more than necessary but not less than necessary"

@LuzdoSol00

9 ай бұрын

What??? My axienty is about to end on that one.

He's like the Grandfather we all need.

@oam2020

8 ай бұрын

He is Shegh our Emam from someother religion or belief.

@oam2020

8 ай бұрын

شيخ. Sheagh

@oam2020

8 ай бұрын

A religious figure

@Sparkle835

8 ай бұрын

I think he's scary.

@treefrog3487

8 ай бұрын

Yes, you're absolutely right!

Kindness must be balanced with wisdom.

@tru2thastyle

5 ай бұрын

Very well said!

@andreeailie9053

4 ай бұрын

So True 💯💯✨✨

@RayTheConqueror

4 ай бұрын

Well said sir 👏

@user-md4nk1st9t

4 ай бұрын

Fawning people pleasing

@j.aravena2158

3 ай бұрын

Be wise as serpents, gentle as a dove -Jesus Christ

Kind people are misused and mistreated. The hardest lesson one can achieve is being kind to one self enough to say no and have clear boundaries.

@NatAriel-zj7dz

5 ай бұрын

Kind people are taken advantage of - the day I realized it’s ok to say NO - it was my awakening of my existence- I cried and asked myself for forgiveness for neglecting my needs

@susanhaines7358

27 күн бұрын

By definition kindness means being used by others. Kindness means being good to others for their benefit. Niceness is what you are referring too. It means to be agreeable especially to avoid conflict. Become good at conflict and your world will change

@Y3172E

26 күн бұрын

@@susanhaines7358 I think nice is being cordial. I agree being kind is to other benefits rather than your own. It just brings heartache.

Probably the best advice I’ve ever related to. People takes advantage of your good and kind nature, and think your kindness is a sign of weakness.

@willek1335

9 ай бұрын

I think that often depends on where you live. If you're surrounded by good people, the chance is dramatically altered.

@nickcardillo7040

8 ай бұрын

Absolutely agree

@msp_-_-uk6ge

8 ай бұрын

Lots of times "kindness" is actually weakness. Being kind as well as a self respecting person is extremely rare. I agree though 99 percent of people will take advantage of you if youre too kind and a pushover.

@theotherview1716

8 ай бұрын

Good nature or low self esteem?

@heatchills4093

8 ай бұрын

Yet another reason why weak people are the best people.

It took me 45 years to stop people pleasing. I wasn't taught saying no to others is necessary to take care of myself.

@Ana-rb7ws

11 ай бұрын

People who benefit from your lack of boundaries will be angry when you finally put them up.

@crissycabrera7582

11 ай бұрын

42 years

@esterriesparabe

11 ай бұрын

Loads of times we dont take seriously some advise until we see it for ourselves. How many times we got good advise and did not put it into practice? Until the experience makes us see for ourselves the consequences of our acts therefore the deep meaning of that advise. When we learn then we decide to change or not. The people that don't know how to say no, a lot of times, is because they are so generous and nice and enjoy pleasing people...then over time you learn that saying no is not a bad a thing, that it does not make you a selfish person, you deserve to be generose to yourself too. It is good to get the balance in everything.

@esterriesparabe

11 ай бұрын

@Ana-rb7ws yes, true but not always. Remember everybody is different. I know of a narcissist that grew respect for his woman when she finally stood for herself and put him into place. Basically he realised she was nice but not stupid and he loved the combination of the two. Ah and realised she was not longer scared of loosing him.

@lballew2965

11 ай бұрын

✋ 46 years over here....

“If you’re a friend to everybody, you’re an enemy to yourself.” - Mike Tyson

I value it when my friends say "No." I know them better and can more fully respect their needs.

when JP looks at you and says "if you don't stop doing that, something you do not like will happen to you with 100% certainty" me: *Gulps loudly*

@user-qe7bt9dz1l

Жыл бұрын

😆 He definitely has those piercing eyes of dangerousness when saying that.

@eamonnmunroe6102

Жыл бұрын

FK use I'll do what I know

@hoppiw5735

Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@human-qp1mf

Жыл бұрын

😊

@eamonnmunroe6102

Жыл бұрын

@@human-qp1mf you got something to say, say it scumby

"Not more than necessary but certainly not less than necessary" he's so f*cking cool

@rosettaeagle1718

8 ай бұрын

dont swear @go. its not nice.

@Sparkle835

8 ай бұрын

He strikes me as a very angry man inside.

@gu7740

8 ай бұрын

@@Sparkle835 As angry and resentful someone could be, as long as they don't act on it, I think it's alright

@Sparkle835

8 ай бұрын

@@gu7740 👍

This man is so helpful. i am this caring person and i have just learnt how to say NO. It took me 60 years and lots of tears. I did expect the best of others. Thank you Jordan.

@tas9551

5 ай бұрын

Thevonly people who are not happy when you find and defender your boundaries are those who systematically overstepped them! Be kind to everyone, yourself included. ❤

@zeetheeog7672

3 ай бұрын

60 years!?!?! Damn. Atleast you did it , Happy for you

You young people are so Lucky to have this man as a mentor! He literally saved my life! ❤

Saying no to someone else is saying yes to yourself!

@rosanna-elizabeth

Жыл бұрын

Beautifully said❤

@abhishekpal7394

11 ай бұрын

Absolutely 😍

@teressamckinnie6878

11 ай бұрын

@amjPeace ... I prefer ""fuck off -- NO."" 🤣🤣🤣😁😎👽🤠😈👿👹👺🔥🔥🔥💥✌️

@think2invest

11 ай бұрын

Not really, you can say no to children for their own benefit without beeing a yes to yourself. Not everything is a me vs you...

@EmyajEniacSovereign

11 ай бұрын

Saying no could even say yes to the greater good to as many as all other people sooner or later.

Oh my, you are so right. People who can't say no are exploited and often don't even notice it till it's too late.

@nicolemurphy2629

Жыл бұрын

From childhood

@jout738

11 ай бұрын

Beta male nice guys are exploited, because they cannot say no, when there is no need to agree with the most arrogant focking moron in the room. Its not good to agree with arrogant people, because them speaking arrogantly shows, that they dont much respect you and only value themselves, so thats why they speak towards you arrogantly.

@Truthseekingdivinefemale

11 ай бұрын

Trauma response. People pleasing.

@FebbieG

10 ай бұрын

​@@TruthseekingdivinefemalePeople pleasing can be a trauma response, certainly, but more often than not, it's just a personality trait that has is positives and negatives like all personality traits.

@user-yq3oc9gy3h

8 ай бұрын

There's a book out called being nice can get you killed...

I used to agree and help people all the time, then i started to say no and got alot of backlash for it. Ive been called numerous names and yelled at for saying no, but i feel much better and happier for it. Being selfish sometimes isnt a bad thing.

I finally said no to my controlling parents yesterday, at age 37. I felt relaxed a couple of hours after that. My life is not going to be all sunshine after that, but I don't have a weight on my shoulders after twenty years.

I’ve learned saying no gets easier the more you practice it. The first few times feel awful..but then you realize the world didn’t end, and it made you happy. You’ll definitely want to do it again.

@IVY.225

9 ай бұрын

True

@majesticallymade6177

9 ай бұрын

Fact!

@8Platinum8

9 ай бұрын

un fortunately people that say no cuz theyre a$$hls hear this and think see what a good person i am o say no to everyone and other peoples suffering even tho i can ease it is none of my business... not talking about you

I was like that, then I got into a relationship with a narcissist. Luckily I was strong enough to get out. I am different now, stand up more for myself and don’t let people bully me or take advantage

@audreyroche9490

Жыл бұрын

Same u had to learn my lesson from it i research narcissistic personality disorder for 5 years and country dependency they teach u to have boundaries

@karenhinton6069

Жыл бұрын

Oh I envy you! I wasn't strong enough and lost everything that mattered

@audreyroche9490

Жыл бұрын

@@karenhinton6069 bless u have u looked up online to research get help for narcissistic abuse they always pick empaths i left mine after 3 half years

@karenhinton6069

Жыл бұрын

@Audrey mine was quite a bit longer "ago" I just never recovered. He went to jail..I went to treatment..life has just never been the same

@audreyroche9490

Жыл бұрын

@@karenhinton6069 I know i became spirtual while I with him don't want to scare u because they sleep around he called the jazzibell spirt I actually seen it i started having a spirtual awaking realised I was an empath he was using my energy I research narcissistic personality disorder disorders so i would know the red flags I also realised I was civil dependent I follow Lisa A Romano she's good Google her on u tube she's lovely ok hun God bless u

I felt this in my soul ❤

This message came to me at the right time. I needed this. Thank you

Thank you Dr Peterson, every time I listen to you I feel a little bit stronger. I'm a major people pleaser who absolutely needs to learn to say no.

@dani323

11 ай бұрын

No🟰boundaries which are fences that say this, is my space, and you must respect it, as I respect yours. By the way, family members are people too! They must abide by our boundaries.

@jout738

11 ай бұрын

Beta male nice guys cannot say no and so they get used by arrogant people.

I am still a very agreeable person. I want to see other people happy and having a good time. BUT I have recently started focusing more on what feels right for me, but when I say no sometimes I still feel so riddled with guilt. At the end of the day, it's going to take time. We have to know ourselves and respect ourselves enough to say no. Stay strong kings

@robertbusek30

Жыл бұрын

There’s nothing wrong with being agreeable. Just don’t make being agreeable the true north of your moral compass; that’s the real trap.

@esterriesparabe

11 ай бұрын

Dont worry, it's a matter of habit. Practice it and soon will get the habit. And also you will realise there are no bad consequences in putting you first by saying no. If somebody gets offended when you say no it's not a good friend therefore you put distance. So saying No makes you free. It means you dont worry about what the others think when you say no... And if anybody gets upset it is their problem 🤷

@esterriesparabe

11 ай бұрын

Another advise? be carefull to get the habit of saying no because it gets addictive Ha ha ha 😂 kiss

@kkpaine

11 ай бұрын

It’s in a trauma past when you had no power to say no. How to fix that!

@jamesmartin2291

11 ай бұрын

🙌

I feel like he directly adressing me. I just made a decision yesterday to stop being the nice one. I wanna show people that I no longer accept disrespect and abuse.

I think this man is one if not the smartest man on earth. ❤

This was me! The first time I said no I was hooked ever since don’t wear yourself out for ppl they will just let you

@trialanderrorbym.f

Жыл бұрын

Amen to that, i experience that too

I’m one of those people. I’m glad I developed the ability to say “no”. Too many people took my kindness for weakness. And people WILL take advantage of you if you let them. Do not go with the flow. Stay true to your feelings but still maintain that kindness for others. Everyone has problems.

@marcelkuiper5474

9 ай бұрын

Do not go with someone else his/hers flow, the flow in existence found in deep meditation or religious experience, can always be followed. Going against it results in friction, it creates imbalance,

@AmaraOkpechi

9 ай бұрын

Thank you!

@paulapereira1728

9 ай бұрын

Exactly, now on my 50’s I learned to say No…but it costs losing friendships, they say I’m different…it’s sad but necessary to our good health…

Coming from an agreeable person, the moment you stand up for yourself is the day you transform into a king. At that point, no one can say or do anything that would affect you, let alone it hurting you. It's that powerful. Awesome thing is that you're carrying that courage for life. It's an honor shield. People will give you respect.

It's extremely important to follow your no with consequences if your boundaries are not respected.

This intelligent man just described my character and boy have I learned the hard way. Painful lessons I’ve had to learn for not being able to be firm when I’ve said no in the past. I’ve had compassion on people only to regret it. I’ve made terrible mistakes because of it. But you live and you learn!

@melissaferguson5280

9 ай бұрын

I am still there and don’t know how to say no

@qobee2496

9 ай бұрын

@@melissaferguson5280 at some point you really may have to because your peace of mind may depend on it. Sometimes it’s very important to be assertive and say no because that could avoid a painful regret in the future.

Who needs to go to psychiatrist for useless visits when you have Dr. Peterson all you need to know in one post !!!

@audreyroche9490

Жыл бұрын

It's good to research this stuff yourself it's confusing dependency have to learn to have boundaries they teach y online how to gave boundaries

@user-qe7bt9dz1l

Жыл бұрын

After the internet, anything psychiatrist is pretty much useless paying for. All the psychiatrists post their knowledge online anyways!!!

@audreyroche9490

Жыл бұрын

Lol there's lots of professionals online giving advice u right

@trudyseeker3550

Жыл бұрын

So true the time and money I have spent ha ha xxx

@RR-et6zp

Жыл бұрын

you gotta be in his frame

He's not scary. I believe he's a experienced psychologist & he's very smart, has much wisdom too which is not the same as being smart, & he's courageous, not afraid to say what he thinks. I find him very refreshing & very helpful.

@drimbesatsyed

5 ай бұрын

He has addiction for which was in Moscow for rehab after it failed in Canada. Not accepted by his university and school of psychologists any more for hatred speach and political affiliation s. Be your own guru he's a millionaire has decent business of KZreading. These kind of gurus are misleading. You can be far better then him.

Yup 👍🏼 you’re absolutely right. Givers are often time’s empathetic people who get taken advantage of. 💔

I'm 31 years old this year and I NEED this. Needed this.

@alphathealphiliate

4 ай бұрын

I’m 48 and he’s talking about me

Do NOT mistake my kindness for weakness. I am not afraid to fight for myself or family or even a stranger. I've always looked meek, small, quiet and friendly. I think many would think I look like an easy target. Some have tried to make me a victim (in one way or another)and were surprised to find I can stand up for myself and fight back if necessary with the same level of energy that they are using against me.

@trialanderrorbym.f

Жыл бұрын

Me too

@tammysims8716

10 ай бұрын

How?

@bonnie1097

9 ай бұрын

Same here 💯. It gets tiring having to ward off people like that because they're drawn to us.

I'm finally learning how not be so much of a people pleaser and that's its okay to say no! This is a great reminder!

I am 25 years old and I always done it and can't stop doing it.

@Ariex3D

3 ай бұрын

Same

I did the full no contact with my five of my 6 siblings. My sister who was 3 yrs older than me lied and one by one turned my siblings against me. They blamed me for everything negative that came up in our family. Many times I wasn't even there when things went down, yet I was responsible for it. No matter how I tried to reconnect with my siblings, they wouldn't accept me and truly believed what they were being told. I finally decided that I was a person deserving of respect and trustworthy regardless of what they assumed. My life has been much more peaceful. Mission accomplished I want nothing further to do with them.

@hoppiw5735

Жыл бұрын

Wow!! You're speaking my story...my 2 sister are sisters from hell, for over 20yrs they have been blaming and accusing me for things I'm not guilty of -until I said to one-no more.... Then the main accuser died recently and the other one jointing in now with my 2 brothers to start blaming me for how my sister went to the grave wonder what she did to me, why I stopped talking to her( just constantly guilt tripping me)- they're so wicked

@DannaK1207

Жыл бұрын

@@hoppiw5735 I'm sorry it's a bewildering game they play and your left wondering what all the ugliness was truly about. Prayers for the loss of your sister.

@hoppiw5735

Жыл бұрын

@@DannaK1207 yeah! I've always wondered, "what's with all this strife? And these are my sisters I've grown up with.... and it just kills me the amount of time I've wasted defending myself all these years......I thank you for your sympathy and yes may her soul rest in peace and with Jesus...only eternity will tell 🙏

@handyman7933

Жыл бұрын

@@hoppiw5735 She's resting in peace, the one's suffering, so they said. are the one's present, just forgive ,just don't forget, but don't let that stress you out. if they want to carry that load ,is their desicion.

@MagdalenaIsaiah431

Жыл бұрын

​​​​​@hoppiw5735I I'm so glad you mentioned JESUS!❤ I think we rarely consider the possibility that such incomprehensible evil may not just be the personalities of our siblings or co-workers etc but the machinations of evil trying to destroy all humanity and targeting those of us who are natural empaths for relentless, unjust attacks😠😠😠 I know it's happened to me my entire life both with family and at work in what seems a direct attempt to make me feel worthless and helpless which leaves you so bitter and angry. 😡😭 But I've learned to fight back with spiritual weapons , namely daily prayer and meditation on scriptures which gives me a restored sense of Peace and stability so that I'm no longer controlled by the rage I was feeling against whoever it is👊👊👊 I also say a prayer for that person even though I don't feel like doing it, because I notice it seems to take the sting away and I feel more peaceful and in control again after I do. I am absolutely certain by GOD'S WORD that there are consequences, both temporal and eternal for each individual so I figure the safest thing for me to do is to submit myself to GOD by acting in obedience to His Holy commands so He can give me The GRACE to overcome the evil satan is throwing at me through *any* vessel he can find, including family members 😠 JESUS King of MERCY I trust in You 🙏🙏🙏✝️✝️✝️💖💖💖

I'm a 52 year old empath who is now burnt out. Always caring for others, putting them before myself. It just happened naturally, I didn't even realize until a year ago. I'm done now, focusing on myself. Self love and self care. I'm focusing on helping animals these days and mother nature. I wish I awoke to this long ago.❤🇨🇦

@delf5724

9 ай бұрын

Am like you ...I start working on my empathy and set boundaries and feel better

@Margidaw

9 ай бұрын

Same here! Trust and care is my default. I have felt proud of that most of my life, and felt brave. I also got burned out by an ex spouse and I let my life fall apart. Healing is happening so slowly. How do you train your brain to see people clearly? I don't know how to stop seeing them as beautiful and the broken ones deserving of faith or a chance or whatever.

@adamroth719

9 ай бұрын

OMGosh I’m almost 52 and am going through the same thing. I wonder if the 50’s is the magical age where empaths just say enough is enough 😂

@delf5724

9 ай бұрын

@@adamroth719 some of us woke up a little early..in 40s .thank God and universe

@manuttemanutte

9 ай бұрын

Another one here from Sweden but “only” 47 years old. Got badly burnt out and in the beginning I could not get the word no out of my mouth when the therapist started training me on saying no. We should form a worldwide network. Maybe it could also involve ways to easily get into helping animals, nature or humans in need. Except to learn about and support with saying no and distance oneself from pushy people and people users.

What a valuable insight. Wish I had been taught this 55 + years ago.

This is very true. People will expect you to let them walk all over you.

As a child I was agreeable to the point of letting my bullies push in front of me in line to the canteen, because any time I had actually gotten angry enough to retaliate in any way and defend myself (not well mind you, I didn't know how to go about it properly, but still) my teachers and especially my mum would come down on me like a tonne of bricks, because I was meant to be the "good kid". If they did something wrong, I was meant to forgive them to encourage cooperation and friendship. Ended up turning that anger and resentment on myself for somehow always doing the wrong thing in someone's eyes and almost committed "un-aliving" myself at age 10. It took a long time for me to understand that saying no, and upsetting someone when you told them no or the truth, wasn't a mean thing to do and didn't make me guilty or a bad person. Good, quiet kids need to be on everyone's radars man 😔

@WeissLiebe

9 ай бұрын

I'm very happy you learned so much. I'm so sorry anyone had to go through that massively unjust punishment, I know what it's like. But it's just that parents only know how to say Don't do this or that, but no one teaches them, how to handle this behaviour properly cause they don't know what it means, and they see it as just aggression, they don't know one needs guidance, not punishment 😢

@gwynwilliams8720

9 ай бұрын

🙏❤️me too

@stevevrana3922

8 ай бұрын

It's easier for them to control the nice, good kid than to deal with the narcissistic sadistic bullies. Somehow they learned it was OK to say No early on. Probably the parents were afraid of their temper tantrums and backed off.

@ingridbergman-vz7go

4 ай бұрын

Parents, teachers, grownups are busy dealing with the naughty kids. When the good kid stands up for themselves, they can't handle it. It's as if you've let them down and then insist that you be compliant. That only creates resentment and frustrations that carry into adult life. The good kids need to be taken care of also. Otherwise, they often pay for it later on.

this is so important. i ended up in an abusive relationship as a result, in part, of not saying "no". please, please, for the sake of yourself and your children, say NO when you need to. it's uncomfortable in can be infinitely hard, but it only gets worse, the more you "go along to get along". you must stand for the truth, for goodness. get out if you need to. God bless everyone out there who has a hard time saying no, and I pray for your strength, clarity, and safety. in jesus' name, amen.

@oaktreedialogues6318

Жыл бұрын

Yes, and it’s important to teach our children and make them practice saying No. Setting boundaries is a necessary life skill.

@elizabethy2912

Жыл бұрын

Thank you. I'm leaving a covert narcissist, and I'm embracing the " No"!

@user-qe7bt9dz1l

Жыл бұрын

@@elizabethy2912 Hopefully you maintain a healthy balance though and don’t become too uptight. Feminists as an example are usually an extreme version of “saying no” to men and it even makes them bitter towards them. Nothing in the extreme is ever really healthy. Wisdom is in finding a healthy balance.

@nicolemurphy2629

Жыл бұрын

If you are thinking this woman had any intimacy whatsoever the last 16 years Your deluded. He married me solely to abuse me and As an asexual who obsessed over hundreds of porn dvds he clearly got off on depriving a female of intimacy too. Torture was a regular if not weekly part of the marriage. Verbal abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse. Very, very rarely did sexual activity occur and only in the first 23 years On the very rare occasion at his request, occasionally mine but violence and abuse put me off. Pleased to say Divorcing now.

@nicolemurphy2629

Жыл бұрын

@@user-qe7bt9dz1l Sadly it's been forced upon us. Yes there are some decent men out there but I won't be getting with anyone through choice. I would never take the risk again

You just described my very best sister and friend,and I just told her today she has to say no sometimes.

That’s my biggest issue. I try to avoid conflict at all costs because I hate conflict and want us all to get along but once I’ve had enough you will know it

I love your brain. I could listen to your wisdom morning, noon and night !!!!

@thelittlemoonling

Жыл бұрын

Same

@nickyjones2709

Жыл бұрын

Me too

@judithcoleman4876

Жыл бұрын

He is awesome🙏

@wendiewilson3932

Жыл бұрын

He may not know everything, but he sure has the human emotions Spot on.

I’m that person and only got me in toxic relationships, including abuse. It’s important to set boundaries and maintain them.

It is essential to realise that being a kind, compassionate person will not make objectionable people similar

Helpful to the caring & agreeable - ensure we can bite back when bitten 🙂. Restrained strength, is most powerful.

Yes! I learned that when I dropped my toxic manipulative friends. They knew I had a heart of gold and they would constantly shit and spit on it with their selfish manipulations. I finally started to say no and then cut all ties because they couldn’t handle the new side of me. It feels good to be caring but also to take care of yourself. Put yourself ahead of others y’all

@sofiasvensson1946

7 ай бұрын

Me tooo

@yvonneryan5403

7 ай бұрын

Yeah me 2, ended up myself but less stress xx

@margaretblack8538

7 ай бұрын

Spot on. 👍

@athenarockabilly6245

7 ай бұрын

I was the same and I did the same

@scarletletter6836

6 ай бұрын

You are the 5 people you spend the most time with. Good you got rid of them 👍

It's so hard to say no when you're dependent on someone

@coreytallman7759

9 ай бұрын

Very true. But find a way to not depend on people who do not have your best interests in mind. As children, we have little choice, but as adults, choice is all we have. It's difficult, yes, but it's possible if we decide we deserve more, we can break free.

@baby_152

9 ай бұрын

I empathize you 😢

@maryellendurborow9214

9 ай бұрын

​@@coreytallman7759 I appreciate your skill and care, gifted, in how: simply, specifically and clearly, you articulated this. Solid line of reasoning for me. TY

@miss_finn

8 ай бұрын

@@coreytallman7759so true. Especially when it comes to your health. Depending on someone then can be awful, especially when people don’t have your best interests at heart. Health, housing, finance whatever it might be for someone….. it’s not always “a choice”. Sometimes your stuck in a situation and can’t say no. But all you want to do is scream it lol 😂

@RK-nq3fj

8 ай бұрын

@@happydaze7386Well said. Nothing worse than someone knowing that you are dependent on them and doesn’t respect your boundaries. It is worth risking it all to say No. Most of the times it doesn’t even backfire.

This content hits to my core. Hurts deeply hearing this truth.

"not more than necessary, but certainly not less than necessary." Very very very important to understand that, instead of using NO like a baseball bat.

"No" is the most important word one can learn.

"You're going to always assume the best of others" As an agreeable person this an eye-opener for me.

This is so concisely well said. He uses zero filler words and speaks so articulately it really drives the message home.

I really needed to hear this right now.

Always set boundaries,don't be afraid to say no on something you don't like.A short video but very valuable

@NikaOPBR

7 ай бұрын

💯

Learning to say no was the best thing that happened to me. Learning that all people do not have your best interest at heart is important. Lastly, that there will be people who don’t like you and that’s ok. There are ways to say no thank you without burning down the house. I’ve learned it’s better to let people know your boundaries upfront, because they get angry with you and think you are a pain if you finally say something. Some people don’t like to be told that something isn’t right, they may leave, but eventually they do anyway if they are allowed to walk on you.

@sv-yh3mq

Жыл бұрын

Cuz some individuals can't accept that you SAID "No". You are so right- some people really do not like you. It Is Ok. But they need to go away ALSO.

One of the most helpful shorts video I have ever seen.

Jordan Peterson is always so accurate when it comes to human behaviors.

I did this today I stood up to someone who was getting used to disrespecting me unprovoked, simply because she can. Thanks to this video I felt so relieved after confronting her

AMEN. I am very empathic.....and I find it hard to say no. It makes me feel guilty. But it is needed to protect me!

This is the lesson most valuable to learn as a people pleaser & growing up wanting love & acceptance from a neglectful & narcissistic mother

Saying no is a boundary I learned later in life. Best thing ever! Never looking back.

This man is just ridiculously terrific. Man. Wish I knew him personally.

@IMChrysalis

11 ай бұрын

The thing that makes him so important is that we DO know him personally. He has a transparency of personality that is why he is where he is today. He really tries tries to live what he believes...

@reneeleerykers6762

10 ай бұрын

On this podcast he is quite good but minorities I feel sorry for those transgender people because he doesn't realise the transgender women born with a female brain ! The psychologist I'm a gp t is a female and male brain and all embryos go through the cycle as a female embryo and in in male and brioche develop on the end of that and these transgender people got a female brain! Call embryo start offers female embryos male embryos develop on the end of the cycle some embryos don't complete the cycle some particularly if the mother is very stressed, you have transgender! Also hermaphrodites that have both vaginas and penis

It would be nice if more people had an understanding of the truth

Honestly the more I watch Jordan Peterson the more he reminds me of my favorite therapist.

One of the best videos of Dr. P's that I have seen so far. You make the world a better place. ❤😊

I did that today and was asked if I was "on the warpath again"☹️People prefer a doormat.

@jesswilliams3780

Жыл бұрын

I’m proud of you for saying no! People that say stuff like that are use to having power over you and manipulating you, trying to make you feel guilty. Don’t fall for it, people that make you feel guilty are using you.

"No" is my favorite word. It's like a declaration of love, but isn't.

So true. One of life's most important lessons is learning to say "no"; it's setting your boundary. I believe it's very important, especially for eomen; as we are taught to be "nice" be "agreeable". I learned the power of saying "no" later in my life. It actually gave me a sense of peace because I no longer had to acquiesce; left with an uncomfortable feeling. It's a human superpower to say "no". When used, you set your personal boundary. Thank you for talking about this important subject.

Some people attack you when you say no or tell them hard truths.

@montanan1997

5 ай бұрын

That's life

@johnstewartBr3X1T

5 ай бұрын

@@montanan1997 That's childishness, immaturity and idiocy. All they do is project who the y truly are onto others But everything comes full circle. Everything.

@moflo6093

4 ай бұрын

​@@johnstewartBr3X1TWho they are, or who they think they are?

@johnstewartBr3X1T

4 ай бұрын

@@moflo6093 Nevermind.

@laurenfulton2510

4 ай бұрын

Yup

I like that he defines what No means. You have to mean it. And you don’t have the freedom to say Yes and mean it if you don’t have the internal freedom to say no and mean it.

Amen. Narcissists and abusers can't take no for an answer and love to use and abuse caring and kind people. I had to learn the hard way.

His words are the most sparkling glass of water to me

The best part of being an agreeable person and being able to establish healthy boundaries is that when those are not met, the shock that causes in others the sudden change into a dangerous person is almost always warranted. 😂

@trialanderrorbym.f

Жыл бұрын

I know what u mean,i started saying no,leave my relatives in shock,because im that one person everyone can rely on.

@esterriesparabe

11 ай бұрын

Ha ha 😂 🤣 😆

It’s so hard when you had to be agreeable to your parents as a child because you were so scared that if they didn’t like you they would leave you. I felt fundamentally and infinitely leave-able as a child. That has been so hard for me to overcome.

@jstefa2

9 ай бұрын

embrace it. when you embrace it it cant be used against you. and when something cant be used against you it wont be :) remember my friend. salvation is hidden behind mortal fear. thats why you need courage to save yourself.

@killerb720

9 ай бұрын

Protect JP at all costs

@susanfisher3655

9 ай бұрын

Yes, you were conditioned to become a ppl pleaser to the point of being used to abuse. One day you'll get a gut full...and then what?

You love yourself when you learn how to say no when needed. You deserve love

I could sit and listen to him talk all day

It's important that those you love always know what you stand for, and what you won't stand for.

Dang I'm definitely a people pleaser and I need to learn to say no. I just hate to hurt peoples feelings

@simpletruths5322

11 ай бұрын

If someone is offended by your ‘no’ it’s a huge red flag. ‘No thank you’ is a complete sentence.

@jout738

11 ай бұрын

Saying no dosent even hurt anybodys feelings much at all. It just shows that you dont want to do it and then, if they ask why. You can explain it by giving your own reason for it. What hurts people feelings more is physical and mental abuse, like punching and kicking and really wanting to make person cry after beat up, so saying no is nothing compared to that, but I dont think you want to put up with toxic relationship where you get physical abuse, because your nice guy pusio, that is scared to say no, even to the most obnoxious arrogant pieces of shite.

@jout738

11 ай бұрын

Its also alright, that you dont like somebody, because its natural, that you dont like a person who has loud voice, speaks over you, has so obnoxious personality and is arrogant in beliving she is right about everything, while she has nothing special in her soul. Like why you even need to like that kind of person, when you just cannot do it in any way. Best is not to put up with arrogant people and just go away, so you dont need to deal or listen to how obnxious pieces of shite they are. This is why its not good to be agreeable with everybody, because some people are so arrogant to extent, that they dont care about anybody else, than themselves and so they will just use you, if your scared to say no to them.

I'm slow to anger but when I get angry. They know it and all respect me.

Thats one hundred percent true

I have been the most caring person all my life, ppl have abused me and taken the piss, threatened me just 4 saying no once. I have forgotten to care 4 me and my self worth for a really long time thru fear, I am still agreeable but within reason and I certainly will no longer be bullied into saying yes anymore, u definitely find out who your true friends are, I love you JP U TAUGHT ME SO MUCH, stay well and love to ur family xxx

He’s such a beautiful man ❤️

Who would ever guessed no meant no? Guy is a genius!!!

Thank God for this man.

For some, people pleasing has survival value, so it is not going away soon.

@esterriesparabe

11 ай бұрын

It is true 😀

Working on developing that side of my character. Thank you for the reminder ❤🙏

I have never been more proud of myself than when I say no. ❤ Every word hit.

It is draining Of energy to be constantly an Agreeable person.. I have learned to Stand up for myself...

The problem with being agreeable is Your most likely quiet when you're being picked on, insulted, or singled out. Normally...I send off warning shots. If someone keeps poking I explode... Currently living and dealing with a mother-in-law with bipolar disorder. And trying to find the compassion and empathy within me to not explode and remember that she is mentally ill.

@jennyanderson4796

Жыл бұрын

Ah ... she's probably just gotten use to masking solvable underlining issues & is stuck hearing that from everyone . Speculation at its best is all that is -& because it's so dang popular like the jab was geez folks don't go looking to fix the underlining causes like unprocessed trauma or abuse / or sleep depravation or missing basic nutrition hydration , hunger even & substance abuse even caffeine . Labels like these getting the green light are a kinda lazy cover & why not create mayhem around something like covid if it makes people rich . [ Dr. Peter R Breggin ; Toxic Psychology , ask ;"WHAT happened ?" to her ? Sorry we have to grow & are full of layers to unfold around our past why not her? 🙏

@handyman7933

Жыл бұрын

you got this ,God got you, you are amazing !!!

@justsomenobody889

Жыл бұрын

I know the feeling, my ex was bipolar and I blew up at him all the time, if he wasn’t in Scary Mode he was constantly berating me and making into this evil villain in his head in an incredibly paranoid and infuriating way... I remember one night he woke me up at 4am just to yell at me about some vague wound I had evidently inflicted upon him, so I had to go sleep on the sofa since I had to be up for work ... there’s just so much of that a person can take. Good luck to you, it’s not easy at all

@malika1831

Жыл бұрын

@@justsomenobody889 wow that’s terrible I hope you left him

@robertbusek30

Жыл бұрын

I’m sorry to hear about your situation. As a Catholic, I see dealing with such folks as years off of Purgatory.

I’m so thankful that the work of this man exists ❤ a true gentleman ❤

@user-li5ly4xp1b

8 ай бұрын

Yeah

Agreeable, compassionate, empathetic . . . Always get the smallest piece . . . maybe the smallest peace too.

Saying no is fundamentally the most important thing you can master and a true sign that you respect who you are. Especially as a woman. Society will have you thinking you’re mean, ‘feisty’, ‘aggressive’ and all other BS names women get called when they set their own boundaries. Set them anyway and learn that NO is a complete sentence. 👏🏻🙌🏻🔥

Lest we forget--- NO is a complete sentence. 🙌

This man has opened my eyes so much, thank you JP ❤

You are so right 😊 say "NO"

Kindness is not a weakness, it is a great strength. I now say ' No' but still in kindness. Truth disarms folk...so I enjoy just my solitude...until they realise my 'no' was said with good intent.

Thanks, I needed to hear this .