Nick Mullen: The Year of the Dragon - FULL COMEDY SPECIAL: kzread.info/dash/bejne/iHags6SmZdO4lbQ.html

@bong_water_chug5515

6 ай бұрын

Hell yeah dude

@youtubeviolatedme7123

5 ай бұрын

I don't know if I enjoyed Nick's or Stav's special better. Both probably make my top 10 specials of 2023 for sure though.

@Scott-fy7fm

4 ай бұрын

This seagal review is one of my favorite videos on KZread, it is absolutely hilarious, well done

Fun fact: Seagal has claimed once to be immune to any chokeholds. In order to prove it, he had a stuntman put him in a chokehold. Seagal promptly lost consciousness and also shit himself.

@ChucksSEADnDEAD

3 жыл бұрын

Good Ole Gene Lebell

@user-vs6oe8fl3m

3 жыл бұрын

Hahahahahahahahhayahahahahahha

@JamesMooreMarketing

3 жыл бұрын

No Gene also put him in a hold. There was a stunt man who's team complained Seagal was being too rough. When Seagal heard the stunt guy was some belt in an art form he told him put him in a choke and he get out of it. The stunt guys boss said go ahead and old steven could not get out of it and after a bit of straining he tapped and headed straight to the toilets 😂

@MohammadObaid52

3 жыл бұрын

@@JamesMooreMarketing Hahaha, thank you for the clarification on the story mate :)

@alexandermccarthy

3 жыл бұрын

The true (skid) mark of a great warrior! 😁 😁 😁

the way he just says 'whats happenin' to a 5 year old romanian child killed me lmaoo

@devintariel3769

4 жыл бұрын

"CHE MA FARTS"

@zachary4279

4 жыл бұрын

“Was hanin”

@KimchiMaster

4 жыл бұрын

Hahahaha

@TheLordZoka

4 жыл бұрын

He might as well been like “How’s it hangin, lil’ n*gga?”

@SomeRandomJackAss

4 жыл бұрын

Does she even speak English? And if so, why?

they should have cast him for Tropic Thunder and just told him it was an actual action movie

@incogn3gr0

4 ай бұрын

That would have been brilliant

@balefulbunny

3 ай бұрын

The idea of Big Seagull in that movie has my imagination running wild! Woulda been great!

@bob3007

2 ай бұрын

@@balefulbunny if reality ever gets reset, i vote @Mhammerable to be in charge lmaoo. my head is spinning with the possible hilarity that idea entails. SHANE GILLIS!!!! IF YOU READ THIS!!! steal this mans idea and make this a sketch lmao... a concept this good can't be squandered by the likes of... _network television_

@Obiniu

4 күн бұрын

@@bob3007 the humor of this absolutely disappears after turning it into a sketch as all of it relays on the authenticity of Steven's performance

@bob3007

3 күн бұрын

@@Obiniu good point 🤙🤙

"34, he isn't a.. young guy.." That got this 35 year old's eye a bit teary.

@spets4265

Жыл бұрын

Don't feel bad, when I was 21 everyone older than 25 was 'ancient'. I can guarantee you its the same with the guys commentating.

@CrazyPlatinum92

Жыл бұрын

I'll be 31 in a week...

@mikewood4242

Жыл бұрын

@@spets4265 When I was 26 I was callled an "old man" by chicks 20 at the bar

@jellybean4049

Жыл бұрын

I just turned 32 and people call me a kid still. Some woman said "Ahhh! Your still a baby." Little strange but I guess theses guys are all 20 - 24 or so.

@mikevandemark1993

Жыл бұрын

They have 35 is middle aged 😂

He's sniping from 5 feet away, shooting at a devout taliban islamist I'd presume, who is drinking liquor, out of a flask. it's amazing.

@lukeg452

4 жыл бұрын

Why Would you ever hire him instead of vandamme

@TheSchematican

4 жыл бұрын

Uteop He served two tours in Foreverever Land with Frank Dux bro. Jokes aside does the first bullet hit the flask and dent it? Lol

@lukeg452

4 жыл бұрын

M Lo i thought it was some type of anti material rifle or some shit

@dslkjvoxicuyhgl4554

4 жыл бұрын

@@TheSchematican Oh man, I'd forgotten about Frank Dux. Thank you for mentioning him. And it looked like it may have, which I imagine it wouldn't in real life, it would completely over penetrate and leave a very clean entry and exit.

@evanabbott2737

4 жыл бұрын

I like how he needs to shoot the flask first....😁

A lot of people don't know this, but Steven Seagal actually knows karate, taekwando, judo, jiu jitsu and many other types of dangerous words.

@alfredroa9437

2 жыл бұрын

King of improv

@Gibbernak

2 жыл бұрын

Nice

@waitaminute-113

2 жыл бұрын

I’m not gonna lie you got me in that first half

@CoolPandaTheMovieNerd

2 жыл бұрын

He's been doing martial arts for 85 years

@Hastur876

2 жыл бұрын

@@CoolPandaTheMovieNerd Marshmallow arts more like

About every six months I check in on this masterpiece.

@reriks03

28 күн бұрын

This is so gold.

"Well, it started with Glimmer Man and now it's progressed to the point where he just talks like a slave" had me dying laughing

@marthaw7664

4 ай бұрын

Making movies in Moscow…….he is Шлях трафи

I love the way he holds guns. The stock is like never in contact with his shoulder. He's so fuckin strong he just absorbs all the recoil with his limp wrists lmao.

@marcusg3824

3 жыл бұрын

I thought I was the only one who noticed. It’s amazing

@DONALDSON51

3 жыл бұрын

Or the way he swaps sides with his rifle without a care for the empty cases that will fly into his face :)

@ken7165

3 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣

@roblangada4516

3 жыл бұрын

He puts the stock over his shoulder like its an RPG, amazing.

@anonymousdoggo8982

3 жыл бұрын

You can shoot any gun that way no problem. Especially a 12 gauge..... No shouldering required. You barely hold the gun and your trigger finger absorbs all the recoil for best accuracy. All 65 year old ultra special undercover secret black ops guys know this.

The way Seagal holds his rifle is completely embarrassing.

@smuketherealbigboyman

4 жыл бұрын

Paul Marchano “fatly going around corners”

@patrickstar6458

4 жыл бұрын

"Stock propped up on his shoulder"

@jeremylim2421

4 жыл бұрын

A little higher and he'll be holding it like a rocket launcher.

@NebMunb

4 жыл бұрын

I had to rewind every time he held a rifle, just to laugh at how bad it was

@theDudeOfDudes

4 жыл бұрын

The fact that it was still so out of control and flipping around in his limp hand when firing BLANKS was hilarious.

“Fatly going around corners” Omfg I died from laughter

4:33 "Are you really as good as they ALL say you are" -- The fact she added "all" ("they say" wasn't enough -- no, it must be UNANIMOUS) is proof Seagal himself wrote that line

Steven Seagal is the kind of guy that wakes up the entire family to let them know that he's going to bed

@lhaviland8602

Жыл бұрын

WHY IS THIS SO ACCURATE!?

@planes3333

Жыл бұрын

ughhh "immm going ....to....bed...ok uhhhh🤣

@TheReelDealFilmReviews

Жыл бұрын

I’m na get me maaa slippers motherfuckers

@Prototheria

Жыл бұрын

I'm totally ripping off RCR here, but I think it fits. Steven Seagull is the kind of guy that shits himself but keeps singing happy birthday.

@TheReelDealFilmReviews

Жыл бұрын

@@Prototheria I would love a pet Seagull called Steven Seagull 🤣. I have a Miniature Schnauzer called Arnold Schnauzernegger 😊. Yes I agree 😂

The fact Seagal choses to remain completely clothed during the sex scene says to me that he's aware of how he looks

@terrybird993

3 жыл бұрын

or the woman only agreed to do the scene if he was fully clothed... dudes a real sleaze ball...

@pingpongpogo

3 жыл бұрын

Pretty sure the leather jacket is now a part of him.

@roberttimothy1338

3 жыл бұрын

Maybe just maybe he comes from the old school of thought that you don't get unclothed with a woman unless you are married to that woman. Dummy.

@thiagohenriquecoelhodesouz1795

3 жыл бұрын

@@roberttimothy1338 LOL

@ralphfi9591

3 жыл бұрын

Or may be his belly weight might physically prevent her from getting close

I listen to this probably once a month

@filmer197

11 ай бұрын

lol me too,still funny :)

@drunkenmmamaster419

4 ай бұрын

Same my favorite clip from CT

@threesixn1ne

3 ай бұрын

I had a dividin' rods tells me there's gold in dem hillz.

@markusneulaniemi1704

2 ай бұрын

at least tenth time for me.. everytime I hear his name I wound up here

“He talks like a slave” My fucking sides are in orbit, I’m dying 😂

I literally fell on the floor when I heard Seagal's voice and realized that they weren't exaggerating at all.

@norsemanbushcrafting1621

4 жыл бұрын

Proposition steve

@GochaProductions

4 жыл бұрын

I thought he was fucking kidding when he said they sold her to a pedophile.

@chunyi1618

4 жыл бұрын

norseman bushcrafting ooo

@JB_inks

4 жыл бұрын

Did you literally fall on the floor?

@Parrskey77

4 жыл бұрын

man what the fuck am i missing with his movies XD

I love how the Muslim Islamist is drinking alcohol in his movie

@joeschmoe9154

3 жыл бұрын

You'd drink too if the only operations they sent you on were against Fat ass Seagal/

@hangukhiphop

3 жыл бұрын

Muslim Islamist? lol

@ridalger16

3 жыл бұрын

@@hangukhiphop makes sense not every Muslim is a radical

@ridalger16

3 жыл бұрын

Hahaha

@ginogatash4030

3 жыл бұрын

@@hangukhiphop I was about to say exactly that.

The old guy is Dale Dye, retired USMC captain. He sometimes plays minor roles in films but his primary thing is consultant/trainer. He's been involved in a TON of great stuff from Band of Brothers to Platoon. I'm amazed he lowered himself to this level. I hope he charged Segal a shitload of money.

@itsconnorstime

Жыл бұрын

Being in the same room as him must have been a huge blow to Seagals ego.

40 years later he’s still flipping dozens of opponents by barely moving his finger, and sometimes he’s even seated. Some will say that it’s all staged and not real at all, but the Steven Seagal School of Pinky Fighting certifies each match so you know no cheating is happening. What an inspiration for us all.

@psplayer1344

Жыл бұрын

It's really noble of them to do that. I'm just not used to the big guy looking out for me. Perhaps we should worship him as a god?

Him wearing his sunglasses while sniping is the funniest thing ever

@falkenfluegel

4 жыл бұрын

They even had to retouch the reflection of the sunglasses. You could probably see the camera in the reflection or something.

@OldSchool82

4 жыл бұрын

not to the guy he fuckin shot from 50 yards away,he was thinkn "thats the coolest mutherfucker ive ever see"**** (pink mist.)

@chrisvig123

4 жыл бұрын

It’s so realistic come on 😀💩💩💩💩

@anthonymiller934

4 жыл бұрын

@Southern Fun haha

@mikehawk1673

4 жыл бұрын

Jules D lol that’s not super far fetched I’ve shot my scoped rifle with my glasses on

"fatly coming around a corner"

@alexsullivan2957

4 жыл бұрын

Stellar

@RussellIser108

3 жыл бұрын

Priceless

@jasoncalicaveman

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly! I fell out of my chair 🤣

@heyimgoingtoplaysomegames

3 жыл бұрын

Holy fuck I gut chuckled so hard at this

@lea-rw5cb

3 жыл бұрын

Come on the guy is 68 yrs old

“Limp wristly firing the gun” is brilliant

"There's three human transactions in this movie" 10/10

“Are you really as good as they all say you are?” “eryaghfjwnbs”

@musiclaboratory9694

4 жыл бұрын

Goddamn it that was fuckin hilarious

@andreipulosul1492

4 жыл бұрын

What did he actually say lmao

@weedwin7356

4 жыл бұрын

@@andreipulosul1492 'every once in a while' lmao

@fpsrtsgaming708

4 жыл бұрын

@@weedwin7356 *EVRYONCEANAWHILE*

@babbisp1

3 жыл бұрын

4:32

Seagal is just the navy seal copypasta in human form.

@111Moose

3 жыл бұрын

😂

@reesesbeanses

3 жыл бұрын

more like gravy seal

@monke6776

3 жыл бұрын

More like Navy meal

@notinspectorgadget

3 жыл бұрын

More like big fat fuck

@wilfordbrimleypranks

3 жыл бұрын

More like buttered veal

I gotta say, the editing here is top notch. When Nick switches gears, the clips also switch to match exactly what he's talking about.

The way he shoots the gun has me dying 😂

To use “Fatly” as an adverb genuinely kills me

@joeyeulo1489

3 жыл бұрын

I think "fatly" is my favorite new word 😂

@mattholt1388

3 жыл бұрын

I use it all the god damn time now

@HorizonPerson

3 жыл бұрын

And it fits perfectly 😂

@Neo2266.

3 жыл бұрын

Fatly, dumbly, uglyly

@euroshopperbier1337

3 жыл бұрын

rip

I feel like Steven farts a lot on set and the crew just has to deal with it.

@ultrashortbus

3 жыл бұрын

"It's like I always say, we have to blow it and we have to blow it now" ~ Steven Seagal [On Deadly Ground, 1994]

@JimKuback2009

3 жыл бұрын

He did shit his pants once after claiming his aikido training made him impervious to being choked unconscious. Somebody called his bluff and Segal let him try. Dude choked Segal out and Segal shit in his pants.

@skelldoom4329

3 жыл бұрын

Oh, thats a power fart. Thats how he asserts his dominance over the entire cast and crew.

@dinglegonzo

3 жыл бұрын

Sounds reasonable to assume that he farts on set.

@TheAceSpaceman

3 жыл бұрын

I think he's more the guy who shits with the door open and he even likes to talk while taking a shit...and he doesn't shit silent or normal, he might push and moan like a lot. But hey...he's the big star of the film.

I've easily watched this video five times and it still cracks me up. Using "fatly" as an adverb is the best part. Edit: I find myself watching this every day. It's better than an anti-depressant.

If they were ever to make a biopic of Steven Seagull he should be played by Danny McBride.

@itsconnorstime

Жыл бұрын

McBride would have to put weight on.

@KPsTboy

Жыл бұрын

@@itsconnorstime Fair enough 😁

@Drazakhan_Dynasty

5 ай бұрын

SEAGAL: A Life. Starring: Steven Seagal.

@austincanady4670

Ай бұрын

@@Drazakhan_Dynasty guys, it should obviously be Will Sasso playing Steven Seagal in the biopic.

"That means one of us has to die." Said Steven Seagal to the bacon double cheeseburger.

@leighbelk769

2 жыл бұрын

The burger got revenge later, by giving Seagal terrible diarrhea.

@leighbelk769

2 жыл бұрын

@Casey R. Fair.

@quakethedoombringer

2 жыл бұрын

@@leighbelk769 more like a cardiac arrest

@leighbelk769

2 жыл бұрын

@@quakethedoombringer Yeah, makes sense.

@thanktink4328

2 жыл бұрын

Hahahahahahahah

HE KEPT HIS JACKET ON FOR THE SEX SCENE LMFAO

@nickmattio3397

3 жыл бұрын

He’s got a lot of fun hidden things in his pockets

@adhhxgxhhg

3 жыл бұрын

It's a tactical move.

@brucewallace1600

3 жыл бұрын

@@nickmattio3397 whoop. Like that

@joeschmoe9154

3 жыл бұрын

Good lord ,,, Do you really want to see him without a shirt?

@sloaneisenbart9347

3 жыл бұрын

prolly pulls it out through his underwear to pee

7:35 I love that line so god damn much, "Fattily going around corners" made me cry laughing because it so encapsulates all of Steven Seagals movies from the last 30 years 🤣

“the russian mafia sounds pretty reasonable” FUCKING GOLD

steven seagal sounds like hes physically exerting himself just by talking

@Ramsey276one

3 жыл бұрын

HE EVEN LAGS LIKE A CHEAP COMPUTER!! XD

@johnt.campbell316

3 жыл бұрын

He is.

@aaronm97oh10

3 жыл бұрын

at this point in time - he's killing himself by simply talking outside of "slavery" accent

@Jeneric81

3 жыл бұрын

I can swear I saw a Seagal movie where it was obvious someone else was doing his ADR with a half assed impression.

@KEN-1991

3 жыл бұрын

No wonder why Seagal whispers everytime he talks, I can never hear a thing he’s saying most of the time.

Steven Seagal is just living life doing what he wants, doing what he loves-Being fat and pretending to be a badass.

@TheChuckFina

3 жыл бұрын

It's the american dream. (Wipes tear)

@blyxx7450

3 жыл бұрын

Just like the rest of us lol

@noidontlikeu

3 жыл бұрын

@@TheChuckFina Russian, Serbian, and American dream

@arnaldogonzalez1678

3 жыл бұрын

The ideal lifestyle

@Zach_Wiberg

3 жыл бұрын

While also human trafficking and money laundering.

I’ve only seen this video about 50 times and it already is one of my all time favourites.

Seagal also insists on this editing technique that involves removing frames in action scenes to make him appear to move faster and hit harder. I love it.

"Fatly going around corners..." I'm fucking dead.

@morzus6027

3 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣

@M1tjakaramazov

3 жыл бұрын

“His body sucks...” 😂

@kevinshaw4569

3 жыл бұрын

can tell u do not know what respect is shure can tell your mom and dad did not teach u it

@mrdantruckerman

3 жыл бұрын

One of the greatest lines ever said.lmao

@lucian5389

3 жыл бұрын

@@kevinshaw4569 I bet you walk fatly

"He's fatly going around corners." Lmfao 😂

@bluecheesehasmoldinit

Жыл бұрын

He's gotta be very careful with those corners. He might pop like the balloon he is.

@corygriffiths4394

Жыл бұрын

Steven should be respected he’s the greatest Buffet Master of all time

@Simp_Zone

Жыл бұрын

Sounds like yo mamma!

@legitbeans9078

Жыл бұрын

I feel bad for the corners. His weight could do some serious damage if and when he loses his balance while fatly moving near them.

@glenneric1

Жыл бұрын

Best adverb yet.

Stav’s laugh around 4:15 is my favorite thing and brings actual joy to my life. That and my wife and daughter

@skarloeythomas5172

Жыл бұрын

That’s gay. Literally, so well done.

@D00dman

Жыл бұрын

I thought you were gay

@hydraliskin

9 ай бұрын

yeah its contagious :D

@Kevin-mx4vm

8 ай бұрын

Same, your wife and daughter.

@jaysalisbury193

7 ай бұрын

I can only agree with half of that sentiment. If you could see my wife, you'd understand why 😢 Turns out a once solid 3 doesn't get any better after 10 years, 4 kids and 50lbs, unfortunately.

"Just fatly going around corners." Incredible 😂 This guy's amazing.

I would bet money Segal watches his own movies, often.

@babymammoth34

4 жыл бұрын

I have very little difficulty believing he does.

@zyala

4 жыл бұрын

I remember one story of segal’s talent agent walking in to see him sobbing in front of computer. He asked Segal why and segal said, “I think I just read the best damn script ever written.” His agent replied “Hang on, I didn’t forward you any new scripts. Who’s this one by?” And Segal turns to him to whisper, “Me.”

@geneambas8714

4 жыл бұрын

@@zyala The story is from Rob Schneider

@Sandwich420

3 жыл бұрын

I bet he's never even seen a movie in his life

@MOON1388

3 жыл бұрын

Narrating along the way

"Fatly going around corners". A brilliant description.

@MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis

Жыл бұрын

Dude that was so fucking hilarious because then they show the scene and that is EXACTLY what’s happening. It’s such an apt description.

@DefendYoungstown

Жыл бұрын

​@@MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis yeah, just gut and gun barrel. A close second is where he's "limp-wristedly firing" and they show him just turn the gun like he's nonchalantly turning off an oversized water valve to shut off the yard sprinkler instead of actually participating in a firefight.

@jonathankeith6971

Жыл бұрын

It’s seriously one of my favorite lines. I come back to it every time and still giggle.

@Flat_Earth_Addy

Жыл бұрын

lol

@mandlakei3053

4 ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂

You guys are hysterical. I could listen to this a 1000 times. 😂

@cardinalbeast24

10 ай бұрын

It’s a podcast called Cumtown lol, has since turned into The Adam Friedland Show

@hardcoreclassicenjoyer

8 ай бұрын

I've been back here twice in two days and a minimum of 5 times since I first watched it. It's pure joy

@dorsia6938

2 күн бұрын

​@@hardcoreclassicenjoyerdefinitely one of the best bits of the podcast

This video got me into Cumtown and I haven't been the same since

@fct4life

9 күн бұрын

same

Seagal is very successful at being unintentionally hilarious. Imagine if he had even the slightest amount of self awareness, he'd be making a fortune as an action-comedy star.

@WorldWidePatriots

3 жыл бұрын

Glad I came back to see this comment. Do you think it would still be funny?or lose the magic of he knew and did it on purpose.

@jennyanydots2389

3 жыл бұрын

@@WorldWidePatriots Yes, I think it would still be funny if he became self aware and did it on purpose. It's not simply mocking himself that makes it amusing, it's mocking the fake tough guy persona and over the top absurd action movie genre that's amusing. Movies like the expendables still do just fine even though the actors and writers are aware of the self parody. By not being self aware he comes off as straight pathetic. Still funny, but, in a sad way that most emotionally healthy people tend to ignore, hence the lack of financial success and tendency for more of a mean spirited mocking then a good natured ribbing.

@FOUL_TROUBLE

3 жыл бұрын

by Seagal do you mean Tom Myers?

@6slice712

3 жыл бұрын

So very true 🤣 🤣

@swans184

3 жыл бұрын

JCVD has done exactly that

he talks like robert downey junior in tropic thunder talking about the jeffersons

@anthonymiller934

4 жыл бұрын

YES!! That's exactly the character I was thinking. Downey killed that role!

@M2Mil7er

4 жыл бұрын

and looks like Danny McBride has been playing him for the last 15 years,

@scottthomas9022

4 жыл бұрын

@@M2Mil7er Now I want to make a Steven Segal Movie but swap out Danny McBride and not tell anyone. Put Segal in the credits, and on the poster. But when you see the movie it's Just Danny McBride

@Salamander676

4 жыл бұрын

He's got a little Chicano twang in his voice too

@NickHunter

4 жыл бұрын

"whayddya mean 'you people'?"

Oh my god…that discussion was one of the funniest things I’ve heard in a while. I was DYING

"this is my sister" "WHATS HAPP'NIN" holy shit i nearly fell off my chair

@Tom135

4 жыл бұрын

"Stranger danger!"

@FridgeLoud

4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@TheWatchFrogs

4 жыл бұрын

I was laughing so hard I started to cry hahaha

@afrocoolio25

4 жыл бұрын

I about pissed myself. Wtf greets a little 6 or 7-year-old kid like that?

@Shadowboost

4 жыл бұрын

@@TheSchematican the little sister? Open up, this is the FBI

Seagal really looked at a 6 year old and went “wus hapnen?” like she’s an old friend of his.

@dotson9118

3 жыл бұрын

Alpha move

@tommygunmitvierm724

3 жыл бұрын

He was just geniunely confused about what was going on. His age is taking a toll on him.

@breadwilson9865

3 жыл бұрын

I thought the same thing.

@frecklenuckle4450

3 жыл бұрын

highkey autistic as fuck

@mrniceguy7168

3 жыл бұрын

I immediately had to pause and go to the comments section to see if anyone noticed that. That’s how I say hello to black guys at work

The accuracy of the voice impression before hearing him talk literally ☠️

Steven Seagal is definitely the movie star of all time, every movie he makes is a movie and it really shows the imagery on screen

@hardcoreclassicenjoyer

8 ай бұрын

Truly an actor of time.

Segal sounds like Robert Downey Jr as the black guy in Tropic Thunder.

@kevinthomas2906

3 жыл бұрын

Ha! Lincoln Osiris!

@franmadaraki616

3 жыл бұрын

RDJ is far more better

@tehrobotjesus

3 жыл бұрын

@Rocky Dennis do you mean Robert Downey Syndrome?

@PaulieAFantoneJays19

3 жыл бұрын

That's an insult to the character in Tropic Thunder! 😂😝😂

@CharacterMatterz

3 жыл бұрын

@Michael W there you are... I knew I wasn't the only one 😁

Fun fact: dude I shoot with was an armorer on a few of his direct-to-landfill films, he said Segal would stack two McDonalds chicken sandwiches one on top of another then eat them both at the same time.

@bradleyruest6863

3 жыл бұрын

You’ve never stacked 2 McChickens and scarfed em down? Lol what a loser

@fazerfaze

3 жыл бұрын

That's normal

@jthreefingers8445

3 жыл бұрын

Heard Steven Seagal is going on a diet. One cow instead of 2.

@ThjyuGaming

3 жыл бұрын

Bruh McChickens hit different

@jthreefingers8445

3 жыл бұрын

@@ThjyuGaming And I'm sure it was just a snack.

I've listened to this clip a thousand times and I still die laughing every time

This is a roast for the ages. I come back to this from time to time out of pure joy.

This part cannot be said often enough: They used a body double whenever he had to walk stairs. They never show his face and he's noticeably thinner in those shots.

@jorgvonameln7819

2 жыл бұрын

but the double has to wear a fat suit to look like old Stevie :)

@Brandon-bc1fz

2 жыл бұрын

@@jorgvonameln7819 and has to walk slower to keep the same pace that Stevan would.

@maliant16

2 жыл бұрын

Please say this is a joke.

@RenegadeShepard69

2 жыл бұрын

What, so he just never moves at any point in his life? Haha what a human sloth.

@DefendYoungstown

2 жыл бұрын

"We need to send our *best* Special Forces guy, and he spends half the movie in a chair!" ... and the other half he apparently spends off set while the body double moves around a lot.

He craps these movies out for the foreign market. Seagal is literally and figuratively huge in Asia. They love the “black cowboy” voice

@stproducciones9140

4 жыл бұрын

he's the last bastion for the classic american action heroes the world fell in love with. ain't that sad? foreigners want Arnold but all they get is Seagal

@chvishal

4 жыл бұрын

maybe 20 years ago

@EliasPoint

4 жыл бұрын

Super popular with older Filipino men here

@lkcdarzadix6216

4 жыл бұрын

@@EliasPoint true with older Filipino but the young or that saw his peak in 90s can't stand him

@keithklassen5320

4 жыл бұрын

If you watch any animated Ghost In The Shell, the character Batou is based on him.

7:34 I love that line so god damn much, "You see him sneaking into some building, fattily going around corners" 🤣

3:08 old man impersonation is too funny 🤣

Don't mess with the Gravy Seals

@MrAdamske

3 жыл бұрын

bringing a whole new meaning to 'hot insertion' xD

@FreqBand

3 жыл бұрын

gray seals ?

@ArcherOmix

3 жыл бұрын

Meal Team 6, Semper Pie brother

@plmokm33

3 жыл бұрын

"The goddamn cook's a seal?!?!"

@SheikhDeezNuts

3 жыл бұрын

Lmao

"he's just fatly going around the corner" - that's fucking brilliant, nearly shit myself laughing at this

@zk0rned

2 жыл бұрын

unlike Seagal that actually shit himself

@StarHarvestOfficial

2 жыл бұрын

@@zk0rned *Adam

@zk0rned

2 жыл бұрын

@@StarHarvestOfficial Seagal*

@Zergrush66

2 жыл бұрын

I died hahahahahah

@SubjectE57

2 жыл бұрын

"fatly" is my new favourite adverb.

i love how this sounds like something i'd hear on the radio on a long drive, i love it. i love these kinds of talk shows.

It’s amazing how many details these guys can remember and quote off the cuff

I like that Steven Seagal either has or will see this video, and he'll inevitably say the words "Cum Town" out loud at some point.

@AlbertoGonzalez..

3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@papayer

3 жыл бұрын

*inhale* cum townuhh *exhale*

@zaab-yaoh9302

3 жыл бұрын

Y’all play too much

@JonnyInfinite

3 жыл бұрын

The title of his next film should be Cum on Town

@timcosgrove707

3 жыл бұрын

"Whozis Nick Mullen muhfugga?"

My favorite quote about him is “With every movie he makes, his gut gets bigger and his audience gets smaller.”

@rickkarsan4491

2 жыл бұрын

because he eats them.

@novemberalpha6023

2 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣

@bullfrogboss8008

2 жыл бұрын

His eyes also get smallee

@PrincessofPower84

2 жыл бұрын

I think i heard it first on MXC

@jonathankozenko

2 жыл бұрын

@@PrincessofPower84 Hells yeah! That's indeed where it's from!

I was linked to this video from Reddit. This made me laugh harder than a good stand-up comedian. I was crying! This video is so good! Keep up the nice and funny work!

@user-dg1jq5rd2c

8 ай бұрын

Lmao same! The question was who was the most pathetic washed up actor. This has me deceased. Best thing I’ve seen all day.

@wade6282

5 ай бұрын

That's because they are good stand up comedians.

The fact people keep funding his movies is amazing and I'm so thankful to them.

That female actress deserves an oscar for keeping a straight face during that scene asking “if he’s as good as they say he is”

@iainrickwood2623

Жыл бұрын

That 'female' actress; as opposed to those male actresses I guess

@TheReelDealFilmReviews

Жыл бұрын

I think the woman in the sex scene deserves an Oscar 🤣

@qupation7296

Жыл бұрын

@@iainrickwood2623 ey, listen. These days gender is a tricky topic. You COULD have a male actress. Don't ask me how please.

@yrudonking

Жыл бұрын

@@TheReelDealFilmReviews she deserves free therapy for life

@pedrovara4712

Жыл бұрын

@@TheReelDealFilmReviews that woman deserves way more than that

Seagal is the most convincing actor ever. In every movie he plays Steven Seagal perfectly, even the same voices are the same. He's a genius.

@Sofus.

Жыл бұрын

Half of Steven Seagal's Film are dubded because he couldn't be bother to pronounce words properly.😂

@sigismund1617

Жыл бұрын

​@@Sofus. Yeah what is that all about? There's that vampire film wherein he speaks maybe 2 minutes, the rest is bad, bad dubbing.

@elithetruth23

Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@elijahfreeman5299

Жыл бұрын

His range is extraordinary....

@connorcamron1308

Жыл бұрын

He’s been a trained thespian for 127 years

He's very silly but he's a world famous, self made Millionaire. The immeasurable LUCK he's had throughout his career can't be overstated.

@YouTubeIsNotGood

Жыл бұрын

You forgot to add Russian asset, because he wants his daddy Putin's approval

@Flood520

Ай бұрын

Some call it luck, some call it an entire lifetime of laundering money for the Russian Mafia.

I wonder how many times I’ve watched this video.

Neighbor: "This is my Sister" Seagal: "Whats hannenin"

@StewartLucrative

3 жыл бұрын

I read this comment before I saw that part of the video and it made it so much funnier.

@Binford-ei6ge

3 жыл бұрын

My future pick-up line for all eternity.

@phillipbailey70

3 жыл бұрын

100% honestly - I laughed at this comment for over 30 seconds, and every time I re-read it I start again (laughing as I type even) 😆😂🤣

I swear I saw a scene somewhere not long ago from one of his recent movies where his character walks up some stairs, only it was an obvious stunt double. Literally used a stunt double to walk up some stairs.

@DavidLoveOfficial

2 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣

@eli3197

2 жыл бұрын

Do you know the name of the movie?

@Odinsday

2 жыл бұрын

Seagal is on the verge of having a heart attack every time he stands up. No wonder he has his stunt doubles do the walking for him.

@Yoda-em5mt

2 жыл бұрын

No that was when he was young and fat he climbed a stair thats one stair then sat down .

@uome20bukz

2 жыл бұрын

@@Yoda-em5mt idk what you’re talking about but, no. Whatever you said is absolutely not what I’m talking about.

I come back to this just about every month.

if Steven Seagal was a nurse he would wake up patients to give them sleeping pills at 2AM.

The more I hear about this guy, the more I'm convinced his entire career now is to be a front for money laundering.

@thomasp2516

2 жыл бұрын

He has shady dealings with Balkan countries. He is friends with Vladimir Putin and obtained the Serbian nationality in 2016. When I visited Montenegro I remember him being at the opening of a luxury resort. He's a sellout.

@brovid-19

2 жыл бұрын

I am 1000% sure you can't prove that isn't the case

@niceserb84

2 жыл бұрын

@@thomasp2516 Yea he Is Mongolian ...

@lilfairycupcake

2 жыл бұрын

To stupid 2 be a front for anything.

@ezzar8165

2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely!! 😂😂😂 There’s just something about him that REEKS of shadiness on so many levels.

'He's fully clothed and she's naked, he's still wearing sunglasses.' I had to grab a glass of water because I choked a little on my own laughing tears just now.

@Joecbg100

Жыл бұрын

That's very Neil Breen of him

@lookronjon

Жыл бұрын

He only wants to do himself.

@goodallbeckman944

Жыл бұрын

I was watching at the bus stop and I legit dropped on my knees. Good shit

@davidpowell6098

Жыл бұрын

Easy ride, though, smack his arse, and ride the ripples. Job done.

@hansonjames3792

Жыл бұрын

@@Joecbg100😊😅

"That's the good man" gets me every time 🤣

CIA, FBI, KFC…seagal is in all of them

Much respect for this man of men. Former Meal Team 6, Gravy Seals AND Green Buffet.

@ismay33l

Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@ieat10kittens94

Жыл бұрын

Ace in the chair force too

@LaithNight

Жыл бұрын

Overdosed on laughing by this one 😂

@Cracktaculus

Жыл бұрын

@@ieat10kittens94 Top Sirloin Gun

@northstarsixtysix

Жыл бұрын

brilliant

"fatly" that is the perfect word to describe anything that Steven seagal does

@4midable4ce

2 жыл бұрын

😆😆7:35. That shit gave me the giggles.

@seltzer30

2 жыл бұрын

fatly fart noise at 52s

just look at how he holds his gun

9:14 😂😂😂 he says to the little girl "wus hapnin'!?" 😂😂😂 Oh, ow, my spleen 😂

He talks like RDJ in tropic thunder.

@youwebz

2 жыл бұрын

SURVIVE!

@brandonbueno6623

2 жыл бұрын

Looks like him too without the fro

@michaelalfandary1643

2 жыл бұрын

I believe he went full black like Ben Stiller went full tard

@MrRoss-jz7fx

2 жыл бұрын

Yes but RDJ was GREAT!

@Opi_812

2 жыл бұрын

For 300 years... That word has kept us down...

Modern Steven Seagal movies are effectively trying to convince you that a man who's probably older, in worse health, and honestly less attractive than your own father is a badass.

@spitalhelles3380

4 жыл бұрын

not effective

@Walks-With-Fists

4 жыл бұрын

critically effective! 😂

@ferise1

4 жыл бұрын

Guy of Minimal Importance reminds me of Tom Segura’s bit.

@Hubert_Cumberdale_

3 жыл бұрын

He is older, in worse health and less attractive than my father and my dad is a fucking alcoholic.

The dude who played the LT Colonel in sniper special ops is a legit vietnam veteran

@coolguy_42

4 ай бұрын

yeah and he was in Band of Brothers which was actually a good war show

Lmao 🤣 this is gold 🥇!!!

"Are you really as good as they all say you are?" -"Erreywonceanywhile"

@heroblok6

2 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 HOLLLERIIIINNNN !!!!!!

@activeone

2 жыл бұрын

💀💀💀

@777jones

2 жыл бұрын

“Murph murph.” Belch

@mjxw

2 жыл бұрын

I feel so bad for that actress. Imagine spending your life at your craft, probably dreaming of acting in movies, working your way up through regional theatre, finally getting a break to appear in a movie with a decent budget... and you have to deliver a line like that. Just brutal.

@KG-th3cr

2 жыл бұрын

@@mjxw Hey I'm sure she used the 50 bucks she got for the role for something useful.

"WE NEED OUR BEST SPECIAL FORCES OPERATIVE!!!" A 300 pound, barely mobile Steven Seagal enters the chat. 🤣🤣🤣

@WickedGonza

3 жыл бұрын

He is like 360 at least lol

@blaxpoitation8528

3 жыл бұрын

A 300 lbs 70 yr old with a widows peak that puts Vegeta to shame. And he somehow smashes these 20 something yr old broads in all his movies. Priceless..

@nickmattio3397

3 жыл бұрын

“I’m putting a team together, we’re meeting at Dunkin’ Donuts in 30 min”

@ongogablogian3178

3 жыл бұрын

Lol barely mobile

@phillipwattsjr.4714

3 жыл бұрын

@WungusBill "Ah'ma snatch every muthafucka birthday!"

I had never seen a Steven Seagal movie before , after watching these unintentionally funny movies , I'm hooked and I'm going to search for his movies , these are better than most real comedies .

@jesuschristiscallingyou953

Жыл бұрын

Thing is he can act decently, but the always cheesy dialog and plots ruins his movies. I have to say, though, that the color grading in his movies is always good.

@einundsiebenziger5488

9 ай бұрын

Your punctuation is the equivalent of the editing in S.S. movies.

@StickyBud9395

9 ай бұрын

@@einundsiebenziger5488 I'm not sure if you're aiming your remarks at me , if you're I don't really care what you say , I've have more important problems in my life , if your remarks aren't directed at me , then I need not have bothered replying , either way may I wish you peace , I'm a nice person sometimes .

this was the first cumtown clip vid i ever watched

fatly going around corners

@tinman3747

2 жыл бұрын

Damn Andy didn't think I'd see you here

@ernstthalmann4306

2 жыл бұрын

An example of English morphing for the better.

@svengangert2683

2 жыл бұрын

You taught me how to blender. Thank you.

@GLITZandGLOOM

4 ай бұрын

I died at that 😂😂😂

@Terence.McKenna

3 ай бұрын

The greatest adverb

"Are you really as good as they say you are?" You know he wrote that self-serving line himself.

@rigelc.hoffman2496

3 жыл бұрын

Just how he wrote that unaware jewel: Sheffer: What happened to you Robert? 64 year old Seagal on a chair: *I never went soft*

@jjjjackkk

3 жыл бұрын

@@rigelc.hoffman2496 he's not wrong, you can't go soft if you were never hard to begin with

@kevinshaw4569

3 жыл бұрын

like u and your mom and family show respect

This is literally the funniest video ever!

This puts me into fucking tears EVERY time I watch it 🤣🤣🤣🤣