Griffin: If I were to get caught stealing, I simply would just not get arrested. Rip to shoplifters but I’m different.

@rawovunlapin8201

4 жыл бұрын

^ This guy

@moosahasan6694

4 жыл бұрын

Peak youngest brother energy

@iwillbecomehokage9511

4 жыл бұрын

I’m 12 and I’ve shoplifted and I haven’t gotten caught

@micahrv4405

4 жыл бұрын

Sub to PewDiePie Yeet Lmao that isn’t something to brag about tho

@prosperosmoon

4 жыл бұрын

@@iwillbecomehokage9511 yeah that's not something to be proud of kiddo

As a former shoplifter (it was mostly food I was poor and starving) lemme tell you Walmart does not give a shit as long as it isn’t over 20 bucks

@_grotto

4 жыл бұрын

yeah i used to work LP and food under like 30$ was somewhat common but we never stopped it. sure, we'd bust people who were boosting a lot to resell, but you can tell when someone needs it. and after apprehension we just throw the food away anyway so like, there's no point

@maxseppelt8916

4 жыл бұрын

I've heard some stores will track of you until you've taken $500 worth of stuff so they can charge you with a felony. so that's fucked up

@DeathnoteBB

4 жыл бұрын

Max Seppelt I’ve heard stories of them doing that with employees who steal too.

@maxseppelt8916

4 жыл бұрын

@@DeathnoteBB I might actually have been thinking about that 😅

@_bug56

4 жыл бұрын

@@maxseppelt8916 *Steals $499.99 worth of stuff* checkm8

"where were you radicalized?" "oh, mbmbam episode #174"

@sarahboes6829

3 жыл бұрын

"Are you implying that all of capitalism is just a smokescreen, and we only do it because we think we have to do it?" yes.

@malaizze

3 жыл бұрын

*Ancom time*

@miya1285

3 жыл бұрын

@@sarahboes6829 they had to stop with that because of their sponsors

@rynemcgriffin1752

Жыл бұрын

@@miya1285 That doesn’t mean they stopped spreading the Revolution of fucking with Retail Chains

@derekeastman7771

Жыл бұрын

@@sarahboes6829 ah, so the guys that want total power to reshape the world from the ground up will do whatever they want if they believe there will be no consequences? Color me surprised.

“Capitalist Smokescreen: How State Violence Is Used To Keep Griffin From Stealing Everything On His Cool Skateboard” - by Karl Marx & McElroy Brothers

@clarevalentine7029

3 жыл бұрын

I'd give that a read lol

@blake..-

3 жыл бұрын

☭ ☭ ☭ a must read ☭ ☭ ☭

@brridk9296

3 жыл бұрын

ok but like, bet let me steal things on my cool skateboard

Every D&D thief ever: *this video*

@PappyBiceps

4 жыл бұрын

Ooo 900 gold pieces Wooo

@samuelblackthorne9122

4 жыл бұрын

Money is an illusion

@exvious6066

4 жыл бұрын

I think you mean every dnd covert bard ever

@CheshireCad

4 жыл бұрын

Rogue: "You're not allowed to detain me. You're not a cop." Guard: "I actually am an ordained officer of the law." Rogue: "I'm leaving. You can't stop me." Guard: "Are you forgetting that I broke your ankle before we even began this conversation?" Rogue: "Don't try to touch me, or I'll sue." Guard: "I am currently, literally, stabbing you." Rogue: *hacking up blood* "I want to speak to your manager."

@Poefeathyr

4 жыл бұрын

Me in Skyrim

I love how fast Griffin goes from claiming he has never shoplifted to being super jazzed to do some crimes

@Blitzwaffen

4 жыл бұрын

Well yes, he's never done it so he wants to dream big.

@meegle.teedle

4 жыл бұрын

Someone better get Trüllbus the crimeater on the scene

@stevencromwell5206

4 жыл бұрын

@@meegle.teedle that will land him at the most popping DQ around

@mattd3826

4 жыл бұрын

He's a big jazz boi

@accthefiend

4 жыл бұрын

get Detective Jigsaw on the case

fun fact! its illegal (in the united states) for companies to dock wages because of shoplifting, so if your boss does that, report them to the government! stealing shit means nothing when all the ceos steal billions of dollars from taxes!!!

@rynemcgriffin1752

Жыл бұрын

So what you’re telling me is that since these multi-million dollar corporations steal money all the time. I could very easily ride in on my skateboard, steal a fucking Candy bar and leave?

@sneakiestsnek3150

Жыл бұрын

K N O W L E D G E O B T A I N E D

@brinnyn6881

11 ай бұрын

It is not illegal for them to change policies that make every single employee there be treated like a criminal. Not just bag checks, but pocket checks. Forced to use mesh bags for your personal articles. Not saying people shouldn't shoplift, I literally don't fuckin care, but there are so many little legal loopholes to fuck over employees in different, insidious ways. Also: some places will reward employees (which almost always just means managament) for stopping shoplifters, so people put themselves into dangerous situations for the lil scraps the company gives them. Its all very good, very normal. /s

@End3rDJgaming

10 ай бұрын

The bigger thing is that if a store loses enough from shoplifting they either raise their prices to still make a profit or shut down that store. Walmart is big enough to just abandon stores if they don't make a profit

@zacharyenglish2904

10 ай бұрын

@@End3rDJgamingyou would have to steal so much stuff. This is literally a joke. I work retail in the middle of nowhere, and we routinely sell tens of thousands of dollars more than our sales goals on most days. Nobody has ever closed a store because of theft. What they will do is close a store and *blame* it on theft, because it looks better to investors (and generally supports other agendas as a side benefit) than saying “we closed this store because our business model is bad”

I genuinely never cared enough to call the cops on people I got paid 8.50 an hour y’all can take whatever you want just don’t be rude to me

@sexualtaco308

3 жыл бұрын

This is a mood

@SubscribingMilotic

3 жыл бұрын

Honestly if someone's desperate enough to risk the police showing up for like food or basic shit, then they can have it. As long as you're not a dick I'll even lie for you. Capitalism is tough. And if someone has the balls to straight up stuff a PS4 in their pants while making direct eye contact they can fucking have it.

@Nerobyrne

3 жыл бұрын

They treat you like shit they can't expect good service

@sed6657

3 жыл бұрын

Same /:

@alexdoe8112

3 жыл бұрын

your a hero

I work as a security guard and I can confirm my gun only squirts mustard

@kingdisasterdracula2017

4 жыл бұрын

Is that standard issue or did you have to bring your own from home?

@StarkMaximum

4 жыл бұрын

Oh that's very effective because I hate being covered in mustard so if I was doing a crime and you hit me with that mustard blast I'd inmediately go "aw dang it you got me I'm just so demoralized I can't go on, you win this round society"

@Stevonicus

4 жыл бұрын

Quick question - is it standard yellow mustard or some of that fancy grain mustard?

@kingdisasterdracula2017

4 жыл бұрын

@@Stevonicus It's probably regular Yellow Mustard for a handgun, and spicy brown mustard for the Snipers.

@brody2k

4 жыл бұрын

Oh good, I figured these sweet sweet boys had alienated the security guard demographic. Nice to know this likely won't emotionally wound my mate who works security when he hears it. Edit* I re-worded this because I somehow said ''good'' like 14 times.

I like how Griffin says “My dad” and not just “Dad” while talking to his brothers.

@reinforcementpandas5502

4 жыл бұрын

That's just how siblings talk

@governor_explosion

4 жыл бұрын

You don't know how many times I've been talking to my siblings and I said 'my mom/dad' even though we all have the same biological parents.

@HQ_Default

4 жыл бұрын

@@governor_explosion I've done this a bunch of times, and every time it's followed by an awkward pause before I'm like... "well I guess _our_ dad..."

@rnbrineg

4 жыл бұрын

I'm glad this is normal, my mom would get weird when I would accidentally say "my dad" around my brother like I didn't consider him my brother or something...

@InvdrDana

4 жыл бұрын

@@rnbrineg It slips from my sister and I too at times. My brother doesn't do it though, lol.

Pretending to shoplift and then suing the shop when the security guard tackles you is quite a common scam where I live.

That full-motion Travis chasing down a shoplifter was as impressively animated as it was terrifying

@geothebio

4 жыл бұрын

it took me a solid two weeks i’m glad it terrified you as much as it did me

@inktoxicant

4 жыл бұрын

@@geothebio your two solid weeks of work gave me a lifetime's worth of joy ✌

“you’re not.... my dad, like, later, LATER!” is the funniest shit, and I quote it all the time, but no one gets the reference, big sad

@My-name-is-Kit

4 жыл бұрын

My husband says "Later Dawg!" to me whenever we have a disagreement about something silly.

@sarahcliffbar

4 жыл бұрын

@@My-name-is-Kit I love that for you; what a grade A, stellar marriage lmao

@JazzfulJaney

4 жыл бұрын

oh my roommatwe/best friend and i quote this all the time. especially "You're. Not. A. Cop. Lat-Er. Dawg." and "LATER!!!"

@itarfer

4 жыл бұрын

Wow F

@sarahcliffbar

4 жыл бұрын

@@itarfer thank you for paying your respects to the unfortunate soul that is myself

*[hits blunt]:* "All of capitalism is a smokescreen"

@theyrecomingforyoubarbara

4 жыл бұрын

Kat the Cat this has the same tone as “the birds work for the bourgeoisie”

@Mewobiba

4 жыл бұрын

[hits the library]: "All of capitalism is a smokescreen"

@mckinneym.2743

4 жыл бұрын

Gah now your speaking my language

@fish3977

4 жыл бұрын

Where's the lie tho?

@mckinneym.2743

4 жыл бұрын

Spoon there isn’t one

Apparently every time I walk into a store, I’m inviting the greeters to a fun game of “shoplifter or crippling anxiety”. Hint, it’s always crippling anxiety.

@Queer_Nerd_For_Human_Justice

3 жыл бұрын

This is what bothered me the most about travis' profiling bs. There's a reason being suspicious isn't a crime, because plenty of innocent things are suspicious, and it's up to subjective impression anyway. Targeting "shifty" people is bordering on ableism.

@blake..-

3 жыл бұрын

Griffin: “did you profile people??” Travis: “no!” (describes exactly the way in which he profiled people) lol

I love how Griffin says "my dad" like Clint isn't also everyone else in the conversation's dad

This Podcast discussion is so tough because I can't tell who's the bigger villian out of Griffin "Casual Shoplifter" McElroy and Travis "Apparently a Cop" McElroy

@rowan4684

4 жыл бұрын

The biggest villain is capitalism heyoooooo

@My-name-is-Kit

4 жыл бұрын

Maybe it's Justin "Egging Both of Them on" McElroy.

@dorothyjayne6725

4 жыл бұрын

How is there any doubt? Travis "The Corporate Shill" McElroy is the worst brother by a large margin because he was basically a fucking cop

@AstroBowie

4 жыл бұрын

@@dorothyjayne6725 theres a big difference between "you are conditioned from birth to believe that i serve you and am held to the standard of the law but not only does that conditioning allows me to do whatever i want and get away with it because in the eyes of most people i am the law, im not even here to protect you im here to protect the status quo, even and especially if its hurting you" and "one time i needed a job so i stopped people from stealing things." like yeah, sometimes shits tough and youre not exactly stealing food from the mouth of mr. wal m. art down the street if you walk off with a new shirt down your pants cause you cant afford to do laundry but he worked at best buy. most libraries now have computers in them so while smart devices can be pretty fuckin essential most if not all of their functions could be fulfilled by that. i would not say that hes blameless here, loss reduction is pretty fuckin cop adjacent, but theres a big difference between preventing people from stealing luxury goods and using tear gas on protesters when they get in the way of business.

@betsyb

4 жыл бұрын

jonny bro you gotta chill. Yeah ACAB but there’s a fucking difference between a cop and loss prevention. Cops are given a LOT of power in enforcing the law and they become drunk on it. They abuse the power that they are given, and they can get away with a LOT of unethical shit. Security guards have regulations and rules that they have to follow. Travis’s job was just preventing people from stealing electronics, which are luxury goods. Get down from your high horse

"You're not my dad." Griffin, are you telling me that if it was Clint Mcelroy, that would stop you?

@JC-ln6on

4 жыл бұрын

Hasn’t yet!

@hollyfelis4197

4 жыл бұрын

in fact: yes, that is indeed what he very explicitly said.

@ohdannyboy33

4 жыл бұрын

4:04 timestamp for when they say that if it was Clint that he wouldn’t

@ornateorange

4 жыл бұрын

1:41

@esorb1334

4 жыл бұрын

@Clippy Hey! Thanks for telling me! None of the other 50 people who responded to me let me know that I wrote that too soon while watching the video! I would have had no idea if you, 3 days after I wrote that comment, didn't tell me! So thanks! I also didn't realize that I was too hasty literally a minute later when it got to that part in the video. I'm an absolute dullard, who can barely tie my shoes, and I totally would have missed that my "clever" comment was totally incorrect if you, Clippy the absolute genius, didn't let me know! I definitely didn't realize it myself. I needed 5 people to tell me, otherwise I would have had no idea.

Protip: don't steal from Target specifically. They'll ruin your life over $.75

@eigenmishiin3d47

4 жыл бұрын

Had a similar experience with Associated Foods and $2.75

@blake..-

3 жыл бұрын

Apparently they actually keep track of exactly how much you steal and just let you go until it’s been enough to warrant a felony. They have stupid sophisticated tracking and identification across all their stores it’s ridiculous

@samsonb9092

2 жыл бұрын

@@blake..- yeah lmao they literally just let you do it unless a) you're a repeat offender, b) you're fucking annoying/a creep, or c) you're stealing really expensive stuff/a lot of stuff at once

@chippydippy1530

Жыл бұрын

Can confirm, nephew made this mistake and got his dumbass arrested

"so wait griffin, are you implying that all of capitalism is just a smokescreen and we only do it because we have to do it?" yes

In class yesterday we were discussing state oppression and a few people basically became Griffin in this clip

@atthepartycheers

4 жыл бұрын

Same thing happened in my Public Discourse class once, it hit like half my class all at once that capitalism is horseshit

@basil3663

4 жыл бұрын

While it would have been cool if they turned anti-capitalist, what I meant was that they started claiming that nobody has power over you and if you have a problem with the system you're under you should just do whatever you want, but they couldn't see how that would get you in trouble with the authorities.

@basil3663

4 жыл бұрын

@Tahka DM (X) Doubt

@TheCrateOfLemons

4 жыл бұрын

​@Tahka DM I've been fired before for being too sick to move. My choices were to come in and cause a health risk for everyone else while not even being able to actually work or get fired. You have less than a week's worth of sick days at most jobs. Six days was my limit, and I got sick two times out of the whole year, for two or three days each, as well as my chronic back pain from a previous spinal injury making me literally unable to get out of bed on two other days. I told them that I literally couldn't stand on some days before they even hired me, and those days still counted as "sick" days. Considering that I worked five days a week and also worked holidays, that's roughly 2.3% of workable days I could be sick or otherwise unable to work without being fired, and that's low balling it since some weeks I would work 6 or 7 days instead. Capitalism is awful because employees aren't people to the companies they work for. They are a source of income, and if anything at all interrupts their ability to make said companies profit, they're let go.

@lenalongbottom80

4 жыл бұрын

I am Always Griffin in this clip

It makes it so much better that their hoodie says “vape god”

@ewwpoorpeople5684

4 жыл бұрын

"Capitalism is just a smoke screen"

@catkilled

4 жыл бұрын

Dip Shit OMG that is the best reply ever

@soupalex

4 жыл бұрын

does it? maybe it says "vape goo"

@catkilled

4 жыл бұрын

soupalex perhaps 🤔🤔

@janesmith1840

4 жыл бұрын

VAPE LYFE

My grandparents did that one time when they were young. My grandmother told my grandfather that she would be right back to pay for the stuff in his cart. But he thought she said she ALREADY paid. So she came back, paid for he stuff in her own cart, and went outside with her stuff. He put the stuff from his cart in the car already. She asked "where the fuck did you get the cash to pay for that" and he said "I thought you already paid". She did not. But my grandmother wasn't about to bring back an ENTIRE cart full of shit that she didn't pay for and say "haha woops, my stupid husband just accidentally shop lifted ALL of this". So she just,,,, didn't tell em and drove home with it. It wasn't her mistake n she wasn't gonna go to jail for it.

@Kipah

3 жыл бұрын

I mean, she totally could have brought it back. That's incredibly unlikely to backfire. The risk was not telling them.

@etchyn4576

3 жыл бұрын

@@Kipah okay well you tend to think about the worst case scenario when you panic. Also: it doesn't matter. This was 30-40 years ago.

A bit off topic, but can i just say that i appreciate how diverse you draw people? Like, skin tones and haircuts and hair colors and body types and its all like... Just very natural and stuff? Like, it just feels real like "yeah those people could exist somewhere, i could see em outside at some point"? Just It's cool And youre style is just so pleasant to look at, like i wanna squish it a little bit like a plush toy or smth

Characters who could stop Thanos in Infinity war: Running Travis. 7:34

@greg98

4 жыл бұрын

Also Clint McElroy sternly telling thanos to cut it out

"Can't talk, gotta steal stuff" *Greeter pulls out taser*

"With your profiling?" "No!" *proceeds to explain that he and Walmart indeed did profile*

Fun fact: if you see someone shoplifting necessities, no you didn’t ❤

I love how these hypotheticals always seem to forget about security cameras.

@tinyhatstudios1061

4 жыл бұрын

Many security cameras are fake, expressly put there by loss prevention to discourage people, not actually record. The issue with CCTV systems- is that even if they got footage of you doing it, do you think either the company or the police are going to have enough time and resources to dedicate to trying to figure out who was on that footage? At worst they might recognize you next time at the same store, but that's about it.

@AlexBabbage

4 жыл бұрын

@@tinyhatstudios1061 all of the cameras in my store are real.

@SleepyTreant

4 жыл бұрын

@@tinyhatstudios1061 The situation is different for every store. At the place I worked (a very popular retail store that sells all the newest games and consoles and our pal Griffin also worked there). We did actually go through our cameras and look for the person that stole, write the timestamp, show it to the cops later and they would deal with it. If we knew someone stole something, or like, grabbed something and ran, then that's when we would do it. And to be fair, this is a mall store, very small, so 2 cameras covered the whole store at all times, so there was no "getting out of view".

@Wertsir

3 жыл бұрын

The problem isn’t the cameras normally, it’s the storage. Storing video footage takes a lot of space, and multiple cameras increases the amount of video recorded exponentially, and every day of footage you keep also increases it. You could set up a system to store only a day or two and then delete it, but that would still take a lot of hard drive space with multiple cameras, and you’d need to identify that something was stolen, and where it was stolen, within that time period so that you could prevent it from being deleted. Requiring full time employees you’d have to pay to identify them. Even then, video footage is considered a form of hearsay legally, and if you can’t prove it’s authenticity and give a clear line of possession it would be inadmissible. And even if you do get it admitted into evidence, it’s pretty easy to make the argument that it might be doctored in the era of photoshop and deep fakes, and criminal guilt requires evidence “beyond a shadow of a doubt” so that shadow of doubt will often be enough to get them off even with video evidence if you don’t also have other corroborating reports. But say you get past all that, you have your employees give testimony, you hire a lawyer. Now you’re spending days of your time (at a minimum) working on this shoplifter case, AND paying an expensive ass lawyer, AND pulling your employees away from work AND you probably won’t be able to recoup that money even if you win since they’re probably poor already, and a court can’t charge you money you don’t have (it’s called being judgment proof). At most maybe you manage to get them some jail time, but that still won’t actually profit you anything. And they might sue you back if you make a mistake somewhere along the way, (like having a security guard tackle him) and cost you more money, or they might turn out to be a crazy person who might hurt you or your employees when the situation is escalated. And for what? To punish a shoplifter stealing an item that probably costs less than a hundred dollars? Risk is something every business has to financially account for. Just factor in the average loss from shoplifting into your budget, and adjust prices to maintain the profit margins you need. It’s what everybody does, and it will definitely net you more money in the long run than pursuing pointlessly expensive cases over trivial amounts of loss. That’s why most stores have a policy to not do anything about shoplifters, at least unless they’re trying to steal something really high-end. It’s simply more expensive to try and stop them than it’s to let them do it.

@sky-zy5he

3 жыл бұрын

most stores dont check cameras actively

"are you saying capitalism is just a smoke screen and we only do it because we think we have to?" well yes that's exactly right

@tuppytower2578

4 жыл бұрын

Basically Marxism 101

@danielludwig647

4 жыл бұрын

@@tuppytower2578 Anarchism 101, too.

@biggestastiest

4 жыл бұрын

@@TheBananamonger wait did you say consent

@nope9233

4 жыл бұрын

DynamicAlteration yea I wouldn’t go around saying consent is made up

@pineapplefrostyfruits9225

4 жыл бұрын

@@TheBananamonger strange. Last time I checked albatross and fucking birds consent, without a society. Female hyenas are completely in charge of their packs, the men obeying their every word, and they still consent. Without, strangely enough, society. ... Or are we suggesting 90 percent of animals who actually have a brain ... are all in a society together? This aint zootopia dicknips maybe grow some fucking compassion and a few extra brain cells, then learn to read a few non-government mandated books.

I fucking love Griffin saying "its like farting in yoga class" and then never explaining what the fuck he meant by that.

I like how Griffin doesn't pull any punches with Travis, he's so audibly displeased, he's lilke, "You were PROFILING people?"

I constantly look and act like I've just shoplifted something, even though I've never shoplifted a thing in my life.

@rowan4684

4 жыл бұрын

same thoooo i always feel like im gonna get stopped, especially if i didn't actually buy anything.

@itarfer

4 жыл бұрын

Im the opposite. I shoplift occasionally my tactic is to look like as unlikely of a suspect as possible. I'm loud goofy and conspicuous. Just make sure you're not in clear view of any cameras or people and slip something into your sleeve and then into your pocket. I like picking up two of an item and act as if im looking at it considering buying it and then slip one down into my sleeve while placing the other one back. Of course I'm only good at swiping small stuff. No clue how folks get away with stealing big things

@the1exnay

4 жыл бұрын

itarfer By putting the wrong barcode on it and then not having anyone check your receipt...

@AimlessSavant

4 жыл бұрын

And I fucking. Love. Doing that.

@jo3473

4 жыл бұрын

itarfer well once my friend and i took a bag from the front (like a plastic bag) and took a small holdable cart and put a ton of stuff in it (a lot of it was stuff we didn’t want) and then grabbed clothes and went into the changing rooms with our stuff and put the stuff we wanted in the plastic bag and covered it in the stuff we didn’t want, then walked towards the exit with all the check out stuff and then, in one fluid motion, grabbed the plastic bag full of stuff we wanted and left the basket of stuff we didn’t want. then we walked out and nobody even looked at us once. i wanna day it was all over 50$ for each of us.

Matt Groening says: "Just like Batman!" Seriously tho great animation

@tadesubaru1383

4 жыл бұрын

God, I always love your animations, your style is so cute

@PKEin

4 жыл бұрын

Top to toe, that’s a batman

Once a very tired retail clerk looked in my cart and saw a doormat she sighed the most dramatic yet still socially accepted sigh I've ever hear and asked if there was a tag on it, I checked and no tag was found she whispered "just take it" I paid for the rest of my items and left. I can only imagine the day she had leading up to that moment

griffin definitely talks about stealing like he's never stolen anything before

Legend has it griffin hasn’t paid for anything to this day

I love how you always make sure to give everyone a unique outfit. It's a detail that plenty of animators skip over, but you always give people a special shirt or sweater or something like that and I really love that extra effort!

@lewismartin3430

3 жыл бұрын

like how Justin's shirt always matches the topic of conversation

@twojuiceman

Жыл бұрын

And the hair. All the side characters have really good hair

My favorite part about these videos is it's 3 dudes who know absolutely nothing about what they are talking about but have such conviction about it lol

@risipieces

3 жыл бұрын

the audio is from the podcast “my brother, my brother and me”, an advice show where they actively ask you to not take their advice

Griffin: chaotic neutral Travis: Lawful neutral Justin: True neutral

I worked cash and we literally had to sign a waiver that said we wouldn't interfere with shop lifting since they wouldn't cover us for any harm loll

@mistertadakichi

4 жыл бұрын

Carter Cameron when I was 18 my friends and I watched a dude grab whiskey off the shelf of a grocery store at 1am and just walk out while the alarms went off. We turned to the cashier and asked if he was gonna do something and he was like “Do what? I’m one guy and it’s just a bottle of booze. I’m not risking my life for that shit”.

@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick

3 жыл бұрын

Yup. Home Depot, for all their horseshit, proudly anti-union way, have an entire section of their orientation video dedicated to not interfering with shoplifters, giving in to the demands of robbers, and generally accepting the fact that 1.) your life is more valuable than whatever you can buy at Home Depot and 2.) Home Depot will NOT pay for your medical bills.

@jaynestrange

3 жыл бұрын

@@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick I briefly worked at Lowes & they were the WORST when it came to loss prevention. We got like half an hour of being told "Don't touch anyone, even if they're shoplifting. Don't threaten to call the cops. Don't tell anyone to take that expensive can of paint out of their pants. Don't say or do anything that might make someone think that you think they might be shoplifting, because that would be insulting a customer & the customers way more important than you." Then the next half hour was being told "Never ever ever let anyone shoplift. If to much theft happens in your department we will fire you on the spot & leave you to starve in the streets." I just wanted to ask "What, exactly, do you want me to do, because I'M GETTING SOME MIXED MESSAGES HERE."

@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick

3 жыл бұрын

Jayne Strange Fuckin’ Lowe’s.

@deffdefying4803

2 жыл бұрын

@@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick Home Depot considers their staffs’ lives more important than their stock, but then turn around and say “no insurance for you lmao”?

8 minutes of Griffin justifying shoplifting

@dahliahb.7111

4 жыл бұрын

Rhengrun hes right!! My name is also griffin and I’m starting the griffin grifters guild

How to draw Travis: 1. Draw Griffin 2. Apply beard and manic panic overlay of your choice 3. Extra hair finger to denote seniority 3b. Pjammies

“cop store” has the same energy as d20/fantasy high/hilda hilda’s “police house”

As a grocery worker, I do not give a shit. I'd actually prefer if you stole it rather than some of the shit I've seen people do to our products. It's functionally no different than a damaged product, with the added bonus of no clean-up.

@rowan4684

4 жыл бұрын

god yeah it's wild what customers get up to sometimes. someone squirted shaving foam into the vaseline a few days ago.

@AsAboveISoBelow

4 жыл бұрын

@@rowan4684 THAT'S NOT HOW YOU MAKE SLIME!!!

@joinsideke

4 жыл бұрын

As a grocery worker, I do give a shit. It fucks up our inventory, we have to scan out all the opened packages people leave behind, and then you get LP on your ass. I worked in the non-foods department, you know how much stuff I had to slap stickers on and put in individual safer cases? Such a pain in the ass.

@bluegum6438

4 жыл бұрын

Some complete goon wants to "see what colour it is", presumably because they're so terrified of reading that their eyes glaze over when they look at the box, and mangles the unholy fuck out of it trying to gorilla their way through the tamper-proof packaging. Then they toss it on the foot of the shelving and bumblefuck their way into the sunset, with filled pants and a string of drool glinting winsomely in the twilight.

@its.celestia

4 жыл бұрын

@@bluegum6438 i think that's the best thing i've ever read

That greeter is extremely cute. And when it zoomed in on Travis's bass boosted face at the very end when he hurt his ankle I genuinely burst out laughing.

did travis just straight up brag about having like 10 people arrested?

@queerliberationist

6 ай бұрын

yeah i was gonna comment, that's super fucked up

I used to steal as a kid and someone told me "No matter what you will eventually be caught." So I realized I had never been caught. So I quit stealing, because I have to have like the best stealing K/D ratio. So I win at stealing, thank you.

As someone who’s worked in retail: Employees can’t physically prevent you from leaving, as it’s against most companies policy in order to protect them. “No product is worth your life” and all. However, you are being monitored and recorded at almost all times, if you’re caught employees will be notified to be on the lookout for you, and if the theft is big enough, the police will get involved. If you shoplift, it had better be worth it, and don’t plan on ever going to that store again. The employees know your face.

@sydneehorne3551

4 жыл бұрын

I've shoplifted multiple times from Walmart. I mean I spend way more than I've ever stolen, but this is ccategorically false. Also if you steal from mom and pops you're a dick. Corporations can handle the loss

@Chris_Meade

4 жыл бұрын

@@sydneehorne3551 walmart doesnt have TPS, only AP. AP arent allowed to apprehend, they only get you if the cops are there. Target, where I work, has TPS. They will 100% fuck your shit up and drag you into the security office to wait for the cops. Just don't want anyone getting the wrong idea, security in some stores can put their hands on you and detain you

@maxwellorryn3380

4 жыл бұрын

The guy who ran our local Walmart tried to get me banned cause his kid was in my history class and got a D on a group project with me and some chick. So I gave him a real reason to do it: I started wrecking shit. I'd cut open candy and empty it into a backpack, I'd unscrew jar lids and leave them on the floor in a random aisle. I once took every can of baked beans they had and left them throughout the home and garden section.

@shawnstull6927

4 жыл бұрын

Okay sure. The employees know your face. Turnover rate is 60 percent a year.

@korinthomas-smith9592

4 жыл бұрын

I worked retail in the same location for 4 years and I can say with utmost certainty that I, nor the others in my cohort, could remember a single customers face and we did not give a fuck if anyone stole.

“It’s like farting in yoga class” - Griffin McElroy

this is a really random place to do this but as a retail worker and future civil/human rights lawyer: your employer CANNOT penalize you for lost or stolen merchandise under the law, that is ILLEGAL. if loss prevention is not in your job description, its not your damn job! and if they want you to work loss prevention you better be getting paid more! yeah so just know your rights as an employee, you cannot be penalized for lost merchandise if it's not a part of your job

@cheriecolas

3 жыл бұрын

and also to both griffin and justin's they can't/can detain you if they believe you've stolen something: its not recognized everywhere, but there's a legal principle called "shopkeeper's privilege" in which a store owner or employee can detain you if they have probable cause that said person is guilty of shoplifting. BUT griffin is closer to the idea that corporations would never give their employees license to do that because of all the possible mess ups and lawsuits that'd occur b/c its too much to oversee

@toughpuff1799

3 жыл бұрын

@@cheriecolas Your employers CAN on the other hand, penalize you if you’re the one stealing. Do not ask me how I know this, I will not explain. 🤣🤣

@cheriecolas

3 жыл бұрын

@@toughpuff1799 LMAO oh yeah for sure. that is a place where companies are No! Holds! Bar!

@blake..-

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah baby dismantle capitalist propaganda I love you ❤️

Favorite MBMBAM bit. "You're not my dad, later" has crept its way into my vernacular

the only time I "shoplifted" was when I was in a bookstore and ended up walking out whit a magazine and realized like 10 minutes later and came back to return it. the dude gave me a candy for that

@lottiestewart8918

4 жыл бұрын

godikynat I just got laughed at by the cashier 😂

Walmart: What do you like to do at our stores? :) Griffin: steal

Only listening to your dad is peak anarchist.

@Queer_Nerd_For_Human_Justice

3 жыл бұрын

It's true, I'm far left anti-authoritarian and I take my parents' opinions in high regard. I also listen to my friends' parents if they're not abusers. The difference between listening to the state and listen to your parents, is the state is 100% never going to give a shit about you, whereas your parents, if you did okay in the parent lottery, actually have your best interests in mind. Basically, I believe that authority is granted conditionally and earned through respectable behaviour and experience, not demanded and imposed on unwilling others.

I work in a large chain grocery store we are not even allowed to accuse someone of stealing without a cop. We aren’t even allowed to ask.

My fave thing about these animations is when every part of Griffin's face becomes incredibly small, except his eyes which are somehow bigger than the rest of his head

@MagnumCarta

2 жыл бұрын

He needs those big eyes to make sure no one is watching him steal small, valuable things. He is like an owl, only an owl that is a kleptomaniac.

The greeter just silently holding up a taser killed me.

my favorite thing is Griffin saying "my dad" like Clint isn't also justin and travis's dad as well

I'm all for Travis being based and bread pilled and stuff but like, his method for spotting shoplifters really sounds like a quick way to give somebody with anxiety a heart attack. They get to the store and are thrown off their rythm by the greeter and then they have a large bearded man follow them through the store only to be greeted with police presence as they leave because the large bearded man thought he saw them forget to scan some headphones or something

@s.g.7572

2 жыл бұрын

I don't think Travis actually profiled people based on awkward social interactions. It is a comedy podcast, after all, and even if jokes don't register it doesn't mean they should be taken at face value.

@genericname8727

2 жыл бұрын

I’m autistic and sometimes when shopping by myself I look so suspicious. I avoid eye contact, sometimes wander a bit seemingly aimlessly, am awkward when spoken to (sound nervous, stutter, don’t know what to say, avoid direct eye contact, etc), occasionally aisles will feel crowded so I’ll go down an empty aisle just to get away from people for a bit, I often find myself staring at products for longer than normal while my brain takes it’s time processing things, etc. I’ve definitely had staff start talking to me because they clearly assumed I was a thief when I wasn’t (they didn’t need to make the accusation for me to realise they were trying to “throw me off” or make me realise they were “on to me”). Was super awkward. I’ve never stolen anything.

@rileylittleraven

2 жыл бұрын

@@genericname8727 Exactly! I had someone angrily accuse me of stealing something I'd put back a minute or two beforehand (small store) and autism plus anxiety plus PTSD meant that I just stared at her, unable to talk or move much. Thankfully, my mom noticed immediately (again, small store, thankfully!) and had to yell over the employee, who'd escalated to berating me a foot from my face. We left after I proved that I had indeed put back the earrings I'd picked up because *ooh, shiny* and my mom told the woman exactly what she thought of her treatment of me, in the most Brooklyn-now-NJ way possible. That lady couldn't've possibly be paid enough by a mall Spencer's to care that much...

@qualityedits3083

Жыл бұрын

@@rileylittleraven god i fucking hate workers that are such eager little sycophants for their bosses like that

Remember kids, the under part of a grocery cart is where theft goes.

@makellelinnea

4 жыл бұрын

Jonathan Medina BEST & FUNNIEST, YOU WIN

@FaerieFlossPrince

4 жыл бұрын

This is exactly right. If I put something under my cart I fucking forget that item ever existed and I have major anxiety so I always use self checkout. Here comes the Abel of accidentally stealing like two twelve packs of fucking soda.

this was the absolute best thing to wake up to

Remember everyone: stealing from Walmart is fine, and you should be doing it everyday.

This guy: "Don't let societal norms get in the way of your shoplifting. . ." Also this guy: "If my dad were there, I'd put it back. . ."

If my years of shopping have taught me anything, the real loophole is buying a bunch of other stuff so, when the thing goes off, you can just pretend it’s a glitch because glitches like that actually happen so if you’re really good at hiding stuff, they’ll never know

@basil3663

4 жыл бұрын

...dude the secret police is on u now

@mageparis

4 жыл бұрын

A couple years ago I accidentally had something in my pocket (I was wearing a skirt btw, you couldn't tell I had pockets) and as I walked out the alarm went off. I literally just told the guards I didnt have anything and they let me leave lmao

@yitzakIr

4 жыл бұрын

Oooops silly me ^_^ uwu i forgot i put that booze in my pocket (U ᵕ U❁) where's your manager

@orijimi

4 жыл бұрын

I accidentally stole 2 sets of toilet bolts from Home Depot in this manner once. That is the height of my indiscretions.

@kvweber

4 жыл бұрын

There's a really fuzzy CCTV photo of you in a breakroom somewhere, right above a memo from LP.

As someone who works retail, I can comfirm that pretty much everything Griffin says is 100% accurate. We cannot do a single thing, and our store doesn't even have outward calling phones, so we can't even call the police. The smart cocky ones that know the law will just come in, grab stuff, and leave. Won't even hide it.

@FredrickTesla

3 жыл бұрын

This very much differs by state. In my state the lawfulness of detaining a person is determined later in court. So if you're confident you have evidence that will hold up in court, you can physically restrain a person and detain them until the police arrive. The Walmarts here are built with holding rooms, same with most stores that aren't in a strip mall.

@LowLifeAM

2 жыл бұрын

Bro what state do you live in I wanna visit you for no specific reason

@StarClan4evr

2 жыл бұрын

@@LowLifeAM Seattle, Washington. Can't touch customers, they can sue you for assualt. Not that I value $20 over people's lives anyway, but

This video is of supreme relevance right about now

Not to out myself, but the fact that griffin chose Target of all places to shoplift from in this bit shows that he's either never shoplifted or he has no fear

i walked out of bunnings (aussie home depot) once without buying anything (they didn't have what i needed) and i was profiled so hard the greeter, who was a middle aged lady, straight up would not let me leave. went through all my bags and stuff, got me to turn out my pockets. i'm so timid i just went along with it but honestly she probably wasn't even allowed to do half that shit, but it was like 8pm so there weren't many staff on so... yah that felt Bad

@penguinstarlette4028

4 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry that happened, that sucks

@coykoi5128

4 жыл бұрын

@@penguinstarlette4028 hey, thanks mate :)

@rileywilliam2483

3 жыл бұрын

@coykoi hearing bunnings be described like that caused my soul to exit my body technically correct but weird to hear lmao

@sexualtaco308

3 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry this happened, hopefully someone the next day stole a bunch of stuff

@qualityedits3083

Жыл бұрын

fuck that piece of shit. stealing from bunnings is EXTREMELY moral; they exploit the shit out of their staff, ruin the environment, and fuck over society at large

Travis "Just like Batman" McElroy

I knew someone who worked in a craft store and they were allowed to full on tackle people who were stealing stuff. I also witnessed a theft at a mall and a worker was chasing the guy and physically grabbed him to stop him. People are definitely allowed to lay hands on shop lifters, it'll just depend on where and what stores.

Kind of don't love how Travis bragged about getting people arrested

fun facts: 1. loss is factored into the costs for stores beforehand 2. retail workers cannot legally be punished for people stealing 3. griffin is right all the time always

@AnAppleWithEyes

4 жыл бұрын

Loki O well then I’m with Griffin. I’m never paying for anything ever again. “Huff my duff” as he would say:)

@kit702

3 жыл бұрын

Unfortunately, in practice, #2 isn't true. Particularly in right-to-work states, employees can have their hours cut or just outright be fired for any reason whatsoever. So long as you can't actually prove that it was done for illegal reasons (and they can even admit it to your face; that doesn't mean you can prove it, sadly) they won't get in any trouble and you won't have any legal recourse. I worked at a place where everyone knew that if there was more theft during the shifts you worked you'd be getting your hours cut like hell, even though there was no official policy. :(

@connormawe01

3 жыл бұрын

@@kit702 Yeah, so long as you don't have a contract saying otherwise, you can be fired for any or no reason (see edit bellow for correction about this), and you can quit for any or no reason. Is it in the employer's best interest to have a reason? If they are a corporate store, so long as their boss (aka the bosses boss) doesn't care, the boss don't have to. If its a "mom and pop", definitely, word travels fast. Is it in the employee's best interest to have a reason and notify their employer ahead of time. Yes, as while they can't say anything bad if they are contacted by future employers, there is an unwritten code which follows the "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" mentality of if one employer/boss wouldn't recommend their former employee to others, when contacted by potential future employers, they will confirm that the person worked there and for how long and that's it. Edit: Just realized that I should clarify that a boss can fire you for "any or no reason" so long as doing so doesn't break any workers rights laws or anti-discrimination laws, which in more cases than not, employers will not fire someone who should be fired in fear of being sued for discrimination. Worse yet, I have some former friends who, when they were about to get fired, got pregnant so it would be a lot harder to fire them (hence the "former" friends, because they didn't think about they would do with the child, just that they didn't want to be fired).

@qualityedits3083

Жыл бұрын

loss is never factored into costs. it just comes straight out of the owners' back accounts. this is a bourgeois lie designed to make thieves feel guilty for hurting their class allies. how do we know it's a lie? supply and demand, baby. prices are already being constantly raised as high as they can reach without losing so many sales in order to recieve optimal revenue. if a business ever arbitrarily raises their prices without anything else in the economy changing, *that business will make less money* (unless they were accidentally under-changing before). stores **cannot** simply decide what prices they want to charge as if they were in a vacuum, regardless of what customers are willing to pay, unless they literally have a monopoly. "stealing just raises prices" is an an empty threat; a bluff; a lie. continue stealing from employers and other parasites to your heart's content!

@Lismakingmovie

9 ай бұрын

​@@kit702if you don't think walmart is not already paying workers the absolute bare minimum they can get away with idk what to tell you

Clint joins the game! Is this the first time Clint has appeared in one of these? The family resemblance is uncanny 😂

@cierrathompson121

3 жыл бұрын

scrolling to see wild stories about shoplifting but i have to mention you're one of my fave youtubers :)

@kittyshippercavegirl

2 жыл бұрын

Things I did not expect: Pixlriffs in the comments section of a MBMBAM animatic

@cringekid07

Жыл бұрын

Pixlriffs!

6:06 Griffin: "So, wait, so you're profiling?" Travis: "No, see, this is why there are greeters..." People with social anxiety: So...you're profiling with false pretext.

As a former retail worker (Michael’s) if you can get away with it, go for it. Steal your little heart out, just please don’t be rude to the employees. 9 times out of 10 they know you’re doing it, they only vaguely care, but if you’re aiming for the bigger expensive stuff, don’t be rude about it. I’ve had shoplifters come behind the register and threaten to beat me up if I didn’t move out of the way of their target, so like don’t be that person or they will call the cops on you. Other than that, just be slick about it and you’re good

This is a real loophole - lots of stealers do it, you can ask them.

@nailsnailsgoodinbed

4 жыл бұрын

@Joseph Delahunty aw beans, you stole the dang loop from me, you're the real stealer

@deffdefying4803

2 жыл бұрын

@Joseph Delahunty No!! Not the loop!! Now the rollercoaster’s not even half as fun as it used to be…

I knew a guy who now has permanent nerve damage because his manager made him lock a shoplifter in the store. Dude went nuts and beat him to a pulp. Don't confront people, it ain't worth it.

@qualityedits3083

Жыл бұрын

also, don't try to kidnap people for stealing from your boss (who, by the intrinsic nature of their position as an employer, is already directly stealing your surplus labour value, and depending on your wage, in **one day** of your labour probably steals more from you than any average thief steals from a store owner). cops and bosses are evil; shoplifters are only ever stealing from thieves, so they're morally neutral at worst, and bosses tend to be richer than thieves, so lifters are generally a moral positive. home burglars is a different story; fuck people who rob the poor (like bosses!) i'm sorry the guy you knew got permanently hurt but he also nearly ruined an innocent person's life, depending on how likely the cops were to lock that thief in jail. i don't blame any innocent person for getting as violent as necessary with their oppressors to defend their autonomy. if your boss ever commands you to seriously hurt someone else or you'll be fired, *you* are the victim and your *boss* is the moral criminal, but you're still obligated to be insubordinate. Israelis have a moral obligation to go to jail instead of joining the IDF, even though Israelis are born innocent. workers have a moral obligation not to destroy the poor for their boss, even though workers are innocent.

I was thinking about at my "job" (voulenteer) and how the only thing we have to steal is fish. who would steal a fish? then I remembered that fish do casually go missing and just had a moment of "how many people have stolen fish" because I know humanity and theres no way that number is zero

6:20 travis profiling people with social anxiety

Person: *takes item without paying* Police: *arrests person* Person: you can’t TOUCH M E !!!!

@TenyoS

4 жыл бұрын

Sovereign citizens: Exactly like this

@connors2154

4 жыл бұрын

Person: I don't recognize Your authority!

@guacamole-cult

4 жыл бұрын

Type Masters AVPM Draco: *spins around* YOU ARE NOT PERMITTED TO T O U C H

@brothaman4578

4 жыл бұрын

On par with "If you're a cop you have to tell me."

@0GlassOfAcid0

4 жыл бұрын

Police: Okay I won't touch you *BANG!!!* Person: GAHHH AHHHH THE PAIN, Why d-did you shoot me!!! Police: Well you said I can't touch you, the bullet is what touched you. Also you were resisting arrest for stolen goods.

This is one of my favorite bits ever and I actually relistened just a few days ago! Cant stop giggling over "you're not like, my Dad LATER."

I once heard a story from when I worked in retail--someone walked out of a store with a cart full of power tools and other expensive shit, and no less than a dozen employees saw them do it. One of said employees, who was not an LP person, simply took off their nametag, followed the person out to their car, and took the cart back inside before they could load up everything.

@geeseyler4808

8 ай бұрын

I used to work at home depot and even though I was a vendor I watched people walk out with THOUSANDS of dollars worth of stuff and no one even blinked

The ending of Graduation makes so much more sense now

I work at Target and can confirm that we are, in fact, a haunted house.

@AsAboveISoBelow

4 жыл бұрын

Neat!

@_grotto

4 жыл бұрын

i too worked at Target and can confirm that everyone you see working there is just a ghost of their formal selves

@diabeto1216

4 жыл бұрын

I also worked at Target. Pretty sure that at least 50% of the workers were lobotomized.

@MagnumCarta

2 жыл бұрын

Used to work at Target when I was in college. Can confirm; am dead inside.

Travis “Narrowly Missed Being ACAB” McElroy

@thepanopticon7042

4 жыл бұрын

Sam Assigned Cop At Birth?

@CraigMetalHead

4 жыл бұрын

@@thepanopticon7042 All Cops Are Bastards

@whipstitchzombie

4 жыл бұрын

‘missed’

@risipieces

4 жыл бұрын

Minnie Goodhew the only bad gender

“They bring on Clint because he’s the only one that can stop Griffin” 😂

"This isn't a DUNGEON, people do BUSINESS here! Put that back!"

Griffin goofing about stealing Mike n Ikes and then the animation having the candy magically appear on the table beside him... very good

This inspired me to shoplift for the first time. Thank you so much for making this animatic and opening my eyes to the McElroy brothers' wise words. I think I'm going to go on a crime spree. God bless you

2020 update: don't call the cops ever

This proves once and for all that Griffin is the best brother and the hero of the proletariat, while Travis is a bastard class traitor

7:35 is my favorite MBMBaM animatic now tysm I don’t think anyone has sketched this whole goof and it’s the first time I’ve heard it all the way thru. You deserve cake

getting busted for shoplifting is the most embarrassing shit ever though so it’s mostly the fear of getting shamed again that keeps me from ever doing it again

@_grotto

4 жыл бұрын

busting people for shoplifting is honestly also embarrassing. after your third apprehension where it's just some mother trying to get by you realize you're part of a large systemic problem that protects corporate execs who do nothing and make more than you ever will and you're getting paid 1/3 of a living wage to protect their pockets.

@Svgarcanna

4 жыл бұрын

Jesse Robertson Good point! Glad you realized it.

this is the joker origin story the public is craving

Love the Final Pam reference on Griffin's shirt

Travis literally described me in any store except I'm not a shoplifter. I just have mad anxiety and shopping is a trigger.

The insistence and intensity of these three in this particular episode is very akin to Hot Grapes

I’m rewatching this and I’m realizing now. Did we just get a Lawful, Neutral, and Chaotic perspective of shoplifting in one debate?

Some girl got arrested at the grocery store I worked for. She stole multiple times (mostly steaks), so they recognized her when she walked in that day and called the cops, who caught her trying to steal more meat. Kinda makes me sad. I hope she wasn't going hungry.