Hello there! It's pretty crazy that it's been two years since I put out that video ranting about a crappy movie and now, here we are. Disney managed to make, essentially, the exact same mistake as they did in 2017 and so I have a perspective to share on the subject. This video kinda wiped me out a bit, I've been writing, editing and rendering for 3 weeks straight, little sleep/socialising but it meant getting something that normally takes about a month and a half out, in half the time. Thanks to that, there may be a couple of mistakes and corners cut but the message is mostly unmistakable; The Rise of Skywalker was awful, the sequel trilogy was a disaster... But I am thankful for what it brought my life. I'm thankful for you lot enjoying my content and supporting this channel. I guess this video marks the end of an era in a way, or at least the bookend for the two years. I have a bunch of big plans for 2020, I hope to see you lot there. o/ Also, check out Shadiversity, he makes kickass Medieval media analysis videos - kzread.info See yah next time folks...

@kenjithemilkman

4 жыл бұрын

love u mate

@KaneK1234

4 жыл бұрын

MauLer I love you so fucking much Mauler! Do you have a patreon?

@KaneK1234

4 жыл бұрын

MauLer You are honestly incredible. That can’t be understated. The most intelligent youtuber on this platform.

@IcePhysicsGaming

4 жыл бұрын

haha! You made me think of the cloners on Kamino when you said, "in half the time".

@TKUltra971

4 жыл бұрын

JJ Abrams disliked that.

"She trains now!" "She trains now?" "She trains now."

@2nd_Directorate

4 жыл бұрын

Lets be honest, she didn´t train. She showed off her mastery of the force with never before seen force control.

@KneelB4Bacon

4 жыл бұрын

"She flys now!"

@exhumedlegume8870

4 жыл бұрын

Too little, _too late..._

@guidologo

4 жыл бұрын

We already had a train in solo didn't we 😉

@doommetaldarryl6689

4 жыл бұрын

OH MY GOD, LOOK AT HER GO!

Rey staring at the suns means nothing to her; She's never seen them before. Luke stared out at them for 19 years hoping out there was better than where he was. Nice try Rey. Nice try stealing everything.

@TheAlienGangster

4 жыл бұрын

More like Disney stealing our childhood

@Taojas

4 жыл бұрын

Exactly. Just another example that Rey is not even a fictional character in any sense of the word but rather an Ideological construct. And this is just another example of the gaping black void of total inauthenticity at the very heart of this trilogy. It is a doppleganger draped in the flayed, dead skin of the Star Wars franchise. Maybe Kathleen should change her surname to Bolton.

@chillyphil598

4 жыл бұрын

My favourite scene of Any Star Wars film. Not an original opinion but yeah her looking into them and stealing his name is so contrived. She didn’t even Bond with Luke fuck I hate Disney

@wacey7455

4 жыл бұрын

What really bothered me about that one scene was that not only was Rey standing in the same shot with the two sun's, for some stupid reason the writer also had that stupid comic relief beach ball Droid in the same beautiful picture. It made that scene SO cheap and down right ugly. I get that they were saying the Droid was an important friend with her the entire series and they needed to be standing in the wrap up shot together, but it was so unnessesary and took away from the gravitas of what we are supposed to be seeing. Why even bother having the stupid unfunny robot be there in the ending shot? UHG.

@pickyphysicsstudent201

4 жыл бұрын

I'd rather have Rey stare at something like a dual moon rise. This being something at the start of TFA, showing how she wants to escape poverty on not-Tatooine. Yeah, it sounds dumb but would be distinct and would look cool as both a parallel to the original dual sunset but as it's own spin - kind of like what most of us wished this trilogy would be.

Luke Skywalker: Fights a sith lord for the first time >Loses hand >Thrown down a garbage chute >Almost dies, needed to be rescued. Anakin Skywalker: Fights a Sith lord for the first time >Loses hand >Thrown into a pile of scrap metal unconscious > Obi Wan is also defeated, master yoda steps in Rey: Fights sith lord for the first time >wins for some reason

@ihatemychannelname

Жыл бұрын

lost nothing and has the audacity to call herself a skywalker

@HerohammerStudios

Жыл бұрын

You've gotta love our very own Ma-Rey Suuuuuuuueeee

@john_1986

Жыл бұрын

"You're no sith, you can barely even hold a lightsaber!" - Anakin to Kylo Ren voiceline in Battlefront 2

@dakotasherman632

Жыл бұрын

Thry seem to have forgotten that villains are supposed to win from time to time, and be intimidating.

@username45739

Жыл бұрын

"Rey: Fights sith lord for the first time >wins for some reason" 1) Emu Ren wasn't a sith "lord" - he was a larper, which in itself could be taken as too much of a deconstructive/meta approach for this series. 2) There's lots of movies where the hero wins at the end of the 1st (sometimes even only!) movie, you should watch more than just Star Wars. Hell Luke didn't get violently crushed after trying to taken down a gargantuan space station that shoots lasers - if he had, and then Rey did a trenchrun and won, you'd be typing "Mary Suuueeee loololol" like a mindless fg.

Watching 2 hours of the actual movie: ✕ Watching 2 hours of someone roasting the movie: ✓

@BiggieTrismegistus

11 ай бұрын

I've never seen the sequel trilogy and I love watching KZreads tearing them apart. It's like it's own little sub genre.

@Misery7531

10 ай бұрын

The movie was great he's a reviews f****** suck

@Misery7531

8 ай бұрын

You got it all wrong the movie is good not these shitty reviews at all

@HansVHimmelreich

5 ай бұрын

@@BiggieTrismegistussadly i paid a cinema to watch these and I can tell you, the roasts of these horrible trashpiles are far more entertaining than the movies, imagine the world without consequences for your actions, that what feminists want and these movies want

@liamphibia

3 ай бұрын

They offer better insight and entertainment than the people behind these damn films.

"I'm Rey" "Rey who?" "Uh, I don't have a last name. I'm on my own." "So... Solo."

@TheInverseGentleman

4 жыл бұрын

Fucking nice

@LyraLyraPantsOnFyra

4 жыл бұрын

Nailed it

@ripwinkler1595

4 жыл бұрын

Rey Sand

@baphomathedude8057

4 жыл бұрын

That would actually be better then her desicrating the name Skywalker

@Torlik11

4 жыл бұрын

@@ripwinkler1595 Does that mean she's coarse and rough and irritating and she gets everywhere?

End of VI Obi Wan Force Ghost: "Should we tell them Palpatine still lives?" Yoda Force Ghost: "Nah." Anakin Force Ghost: "lol"

@Arkyubus

4 жыл бұрын

Force Ghost is a light side power. The dark side users leave remnants of themselves on items, or... They're supposed to, or used to... Who fuckin knows anymore...

@brandond9181

4 жыл бұрын

Anakin: "Are you kidding? This is where the fun begins!"

@ehellstrom7127

4 жыл бұрын

@@Arkyubus There's a simple explanation to this. Anything that comes from Disney is not Star Wars, it's Shit Wars instead. And therefore can be dumped into the toilet.

@Arkyubus

4 жыл бұрын

@@ehellstrom7127 Mandalorian is pretty great. Fallen Order is really great. Movies are garbo for the most part; I actually liked the Force Awakens; they could have had an interesting about a galaxy that is in a never-ending cycle of war and rebellion, and the trilogy could have explored the reason why. I wish all the things it set up weren't squandered in The Last Jedi, and then spiraled out of control in Rise of Skywalker.

@ehellstrom7127

4 жыл бұрын

@@Arkyubus I don't really care if Disney bumbled their way into decent stories. As long as they continue to call this festering pile of a trilogy canon, then as far as I am concerned it is the canon for Shit Wars which includes everything else they touched.

If two lightsabers does that, image what general greivous could have done to him

@imperialguardproductions

Жыл бұрын

Just imagine grievous going to tatooine and digging up those lightsabers that Rey buried in *SAND* and then killed Rey immediately and took her lightsaber. If that's how the movie ended, I would give a standing applause

@sijul6483

Жыл бұрын

@@imperialguardproductions fine addition to my collection

@imperialguardproductions

Жыл бұрын

@@sijul6483 you ARE a bold one

@kodster234

Жыл бұрын

"I am all the sith!" "And I am all the Jedi!" *Grievous bursts in* "And I have all the lightsabers!"

@StarWarsomania

5 ай бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The dark side of Disney is a path that leads to many badly written sequels some would consider.. uncanonical

@whaguitars

Жыл бұрын

LOL

@theenclave4981

11 ай бұрын

They need to remake the sequels, pretend these never existed and set it to 10 years after Endor and either use CGI to remake the OT characters or create and entirely new cast. Add Admiral Thrawn the imperial remnant and maybe Palpatine in a cloned body that Luke proceeds to defeat a few times.

@Mothbean

9 ай бұрын

​@@theenclave4981For the love of God, don't dig up and puppeteer Carrie Fisher's corpse for another movie

@KingDizzo86

8 ай бұрын

@@theenclave4981it might be time to recast the original characters

@tylere.8436

7 ай бұрын

​@@theenclave4981No, they need to just declare it noncanonical and just leave the saga alone.

Who are you ? “Rey” “Rey’d shadow legends”

@Ramacastelo

4 жыл бұрын

I laughed out loud. I thank you!

@DMitr0

4 жыл бұрын

comment of the decade contender 😂 starting off 2020 extra strong huh 😅😏

@iiEchoUK

4 жыл бұрын

This is the most ambitious comment of 2020

@dongxx

4 жыл бұрын

🙃

@hartianx1698

4 жыл бұрын

Pretty sure I saw that somewhere else but it's still chuckleworthy

I'm going to pretend that when C3PO looked to the screen and said "I'm taking one last look at my friends", he was speaking to the audience.

@soulsdancetomusic

4 жыл бұрын

ultimatewpn Noooo, why would you say that!?!?!?

@laresial

4 жыл бұрын

And JJ Abrams killed him, and they friends in the film what did for save him?, nothing. Nothing at all. They did not mind at all about C2P0

@Hirnlego999

4 жыл бұрын

@@laresial I thought that was more of Rian thing to do really, C3PO and R2D2 were not exactly much in TLJ at all.

@coh2conscript851

4 жыл бұрын

Dont make me sad like that dude holy fuck

@Overlord734

4 жыл бұрын

He was replaying a footage from ep6 celebration.

The absolute WORST sin of this movie is how they completely destroyed Palpatine. In the OT and the PT, Palpatine was depicted as a master manipulator and tactician. This man spent over a decade carefully manipulating everything, including starting a galaxy-wide war, to engineer the downfall of the Jedi and the establishment of the Republic. He managed to manipulate the Republic against itself, ensuring that not only was the Republic dismanted, but the Senators would cheer it on. He managed to delibaretely manipulate the own great hope of the Jedi to the dark side. In this pile of ass, he creates a fleet but doesn't use it, and then alerts the galaxy to his presence before his fleet is ready.

@sologamer3122

8 ай бұрын

Honestly as much as I love Luke, Palpatine got the worst character assassination

@jacobmonks3722

7 ай бұрын

Palpatine in the original trilogy was just a dude in a chair who was incredibly arrogant and incredibly powerful. He didn't have really any layers to him until the prequel trilogy. But he still had a great and imposing presence, but not as much as Vader himself.

@juliebartlett4222

6 ай бұрын

@@jacobmonks3722 I direct your attention to his arrival on the Death Star as an indication that you are not correct. When he emerges from the shuttle, the first thing you see clearly is his hands. His hands are almost always in frame when he is. He is meant to be seen as a master manipulator, and his goading and taunting of Luke throughout their meeting is indeed masterful. His downfall is that he underestimates the power of love, something he lacks.

@jacobmonks3722

6 ай бұрын

@juliebartlett4222 Yes, but I wouldn't call that a particularly interesting or deep character. Thematically appropriate? Sure. Memorable? Absolutely. Like I said, just the feeling of his presence is his best quality. But did anybody really watch the OT and think, "I bet this guy has a lot of interesting interpersonal relationships and drama in his life and has a very compelling motivation for doing what he does." I'm willing to bet the number of people who actually thought that in the 80s was in the single digits.

@StarWarsomania

5 ай бұрын

@@jacobmonks3722 Did you actually, you know, WATCH the OT?

Disney: It's canon. Me: No, it's not.

@Goibniu001

Жыл бұрын

Some political freak's wet dream.

@brodeyleembruggen9910

Жыл бұрын

💣

@iana3892

Жыл бұрын

Me: What you think are some kind of Jedi waving your hand around like that?!

@mariussielcken

Жыл бұрын

It's a canon-destroying canon

@All2Meme

Жыл бұрын

The Disney canon has misfired.

“Who are you” “Rey” “Rey who” Rey looks to the distance to see Luke and Leia and the gives a little smirk on her face as she opens her mouth and says... “Rey’d Shadow Legends. With over 16 million downloads, Raid shadow legends is free, turn based game with over 400 characters to collect. The devs add 16 champions each month and are constantly updating the game.”

@vladtepes2667

4 жыл бұрын

Is this a crossover with Count Dankula?

@gerwynjones6862

4 жыл бұрын

Raya godess of the earth, wonder if she has male genitalia too.

@csh8451

4 жыл бұрын

Ah, I see you're an internet historian as well.

@RawkL0bster

4 жыл бұрын

@@gerwynjones6862 Long as it's feminine male genitalia.

@Fangorum

4 жыл бұрын

@@gerwynjones6862 - Pffff... Hwa, Hua, haaa: shezzz aw Pout-clown-sneez - so yes‽

The force awakens : where is luke The last jedi : who is luke The rise of skywalker : why is luke

@skyguy8786

4 жыл бұрын

the sequel trilogy is abt the undoing of luke

@treasurecave431

4 жыл бұрын

@@skyguy8786 yup and specifically anakin too. And the irony is a fucking palpatine is the last one standing.

@cyclone4273

4 жыл бұрын

@@treasurecave431 At this point its all about palpatine

@cranbury25

4 жыл бұрын

The Force Awakens : Fuck the OT The Last Jedi : Fuck the PT, OT, & TFA The Rise of Skywalker : Fuck the PT, OT, TFA, & TLJ

@niewesoa5299

4 жыл бұрын

But no one ever really asks how is luke

Just for reference, creamy Sheev had 1080 star destroyers at Exegol. Each star destroyer has a crew of roughly 40,000 (including storm troopers). That means Sheevy Wonder had 42 million men at his disposal, at least 10 million of which were storm troopers. Why was he hiding again?

@Connor_Kirkpatrick

2 жыл бұрын

Because they don’t know how to fly up

@aprinnyonbreak1290

Жыл бұрын

Obviously to breed stormtroopers to pilot his ships.

@lilbill7385

Жыл бұрын

@@aprinnyonbreak1290 that’s why he’s in hiding, he participates in the breeding

@macgeorge8229

Жыл бұрын

This not an excuse for the writers but for a galixy that is small like i would expect the empire haveing trillons of soldiers at its hight of whitch 10 mill is not mutch even for the huts space is big.

@elibethea4484

Жыл бұрын

@Mac George fair point but in the prequels 1.5 Million clones were enough to wage a galaxy wide war. If they had 10 million clones Palpitine had no reason to hide because he would know himself that 10 million is more than enough

"Cloning techniques only the Sith knew" "Wait didn't the Galactic Republic fight a war with clones back in the day?" "Force-shut up"

@Philip54622

Жыл бұрын

Its as stupid as hux saying that they need to destroy the Republic because they support the resistance, like what the actual fuck how is 100 people and one cruiser so much more important than a whole galactic wide government with a proper army and navy.

@liamphibia

2 ай бұрын

*THE CLONE WARS EXISTS, JJ!*

@JadenMoon1475

2 ай бұрын

​@@liamphibia: Evil guy once in command, loses command, makes a clone to take the throne while he acts as the puppeteer from the shad- *_WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? ALL YOU LAZY ASSES DID IS RIP OFF THE "Arise, Serpentine, Arise!" FROM THE SHOUT FACTORY G.I. JOE CARTOON!!!!!!_* Give me a fucking break!!!!!

@JadenMoon1475

26 күн бұрын

​@@liamphibia: *_THAT_* is why you can literally roast the "SeQuEl TrIlOgY" by *_QUOTING THE PREQUELS!!!_* Seriously! Pretend for a minute you had your mind wiped - You know, what they did to C-3PO *_TO PROTECT LEIA FROM PALPATINE!!!_* - and you watch ANH where Luke asked Obi-Wan: "You fought in the clone wars?". Now watch the prequel trilogy - Attack of the Clones in particular. Tell me you weren't excited for that huge battle on Geonosis!!

Remember in The Force Awakens when Han Solo said, "that's not how the force works!" That line applies to this whole film.

@nont18411

4 жыл бұрын

Dwebly II Hate to admit it but having Han back as a force ghost still make more sense than Han as a “mEmoRY”

@skittybug6937

4 жыл бұрын

@@nont18411 I mean, at least there's precedent to Han wielding a lightsaber in Empire. One could construe that as having at least a weak connection to the force (as JJ intended with Finn). But when Ryan went nowhere with that...UGH. This is why you don't let multiple directors with opposing creative visions take over from each other in the middle of an arc.

@niahoad

4 жыл бұрын

Or when poe yelled: Tell us, you have a plan!

@KingOfAllDragoons

4 жыл бұрын

Nirawit Karnjanasomwong especially since Kylo didn’t even know Han that well

@patricklemire9278

4 жыл бұрын

all three of them .....the TNHTFW Trilogy.

"What's your name?" "Rey." "Rey who?" Rey looks around. "Rey Star Wars" Rey winks to the camera. DIRECTED BY JJ ABRAMS

@Spaceman2921

4 жыл бұрын

This was the point where I stood up and applauded in the cinema.

@T--kq3pj

4 жыл бұрын

Who even asks question like that. Rey who? Who talks like that?!

@RanMouri82

4 жыл бұрын

@@T--kq3pj James Bond. Rey is new 007.

@gokakarotku

4 жыл бұрын

Nice job stealing jokes 👍

@marscld252

4 жыл бұрын

Hahaha! I would've added two points for the movie if that had happened, upping it to a 3/10. Still better than TLJ and TFA's -7 and -2.

Rey took everything. Their legacies, their victories, their lives and even their names. She’s like an insatiable bottomless pit.

@jiggycalzone8585

Жыл бұрын

In terms of the meta, Rey *is* Darth Nihilus

@vrika4280

Жыл бұрын

This reminded me of Morty on Vindicators 3, J.J.: It's a miracle I actually ever destroyed anything. Morty: Oh, I don't know. You managed to destroy just about everything today; the villains, the heroes, the line between them, my childhood...

@username45739

Жыл бұрын

crywhiteboi

@username45739

Жыл бұрын

I mean she didn't and you're obviously misrepresenting and distorting the movie (she spent a great deal of TLJ trying to vindicate Luke and the Jedi, saying he hadn't failed Kylo and the world etc.), but hey you do you

@R0bot4

Жыл бұрын

@@username45739 stop trolling

I don't know why anyone asks why Kylo is so angry all the time. I'd be angry all the time if I was in these movies too.

When Ben Solo jumps down onto the giant chain and says "Ow!", this is his final line of dialogue in the whole movie. Kylo Ren/Ben Solo's final words are "Ow!". This is how the movie treats its own characters and lore.

@forsaken-pr5iz

4 жыл бұрын

Lol

@Pendragon44321

4 жыл бұрын

Fuck....that absolutely pisses me off. I'm still so pissed about how such a shitty character he is yet he had so much fucking potential. Poor Adam Driver

@nightwishfan1991

4 жыл бұрын

Wow, that's incredibly depressing.

@davidredacted3769

4 жыл бұрын

compare to lukes last lines. TLJ is shakespear compared to TROS.

@BasicSub

4 жыл бұрын

Those are my final words regarding the trilogy. Ow!

“I am all the sith” “And I am all the Jedi” Someone was paid to write this

@MediumRareOpinions

4 жыл бұрын

"I'm every women, its all in me..."

@spandsbab

4 жыл бұрын

Obi-Wan: Anakin you were the chosen one! Rey to self: Hihihi, I am the ONLY one... How to ruin 40 years of Star Wars in just 2 sentences...

@Thatslifebro_

4 жыл бұрын

I AM THE LAAAAAWWWWW!

@scottski02

4 жыл бұрын

@@MediumRareOpinions "I'M EVERY WHAMEN!" --Batwoman trailer

@jgfear

4 жыл бұрын

And I am Iron Man

I will never get tired of hearing people call the connection thing between Rey and Kylo “Force Skype Calling”

@JadenMoon1475

2 ай бұрын

Minus the stupid part each sees the other's surroundings & appearance - *_That stupid part Rey tells Kylo to please put a shirt on_* - it's just basic telepathy. The Family Guy spoof of ESB; "Something, Something, Something, Dark Side", even poked fun at it.

Mauler: Why are you so angry all the time?! Kylo: I read the script.

I hate Disney humor, it's course, rough, irritating, and it gets everywhere.

@lutherburgsvik6849

4 жыл бұрын

So it belongs on Tatooine then...?

@thesnipingseal8011

4 жыл бұрын

Luther Burgsvik pretty harsh insult for tatooine. Don’t you think

@lutherburgsvik6849

4 жыл бұрын

@@thesnipingseal8011 yeah, I suppose so. It was just that he said *'rough, irritating, and it gets everywhere'* and that kind of sums up sand. And Tatooine is a desert planet full of sand, so I thought it was kind of amusing.

@luk11c4

4 жыл бұрын

LMAO.

@de4th1snt3nough

4 жыл бұрын

Are you referencing something? I cant place it... its like my mind is steering me away from it

They killed the extended universe for this. They killed Kyle Katarn, Dash Rendar, Luke's New Jedi Order, Dark Forces, most of the KOTOR lore, all the post-trilogy novels- all of it. For this. I can't believe *this actually happened.*

@0x777

4 жыл бұрын

They also killed the careers of Kathy Kennedy, Rian Johnson and Jay Jay. So at least something good came out of those movies.

@0x777

4 жыл бұрын

@Jimb0 Who did award it, Warner Bros?

@maximus6844

4 жыл бұрын

They also killed Galen Marek and replaced him with Space Aladdin.

@vahlok1426

4 жыл бұрын

@Megan Todd As a follow up to Clone Wars, Rebels is underwhelming to say the least. Only episodes I truly ended up liking was the ones featuring Vader and the one where Obi-Wan and Darth Maul had their final showdown.

@vahlok1426

4 жыл бұрын

@Megan Todd Yeah I was super hyped for Thrawn to make a return, only for him to barely be anything close to the original

I feel bad for all the actors. I'm sure they all signed up thinking this was going to be an amazing experience but ended up being victims of a bunch of higher ups that didn't know what they were doing.

@legendarydavo

8 ай бұрын

Honestly definately don't blame them. You have the money and potential future job prospects... why wouldn't you.

@juliebartlett4222

6 ай бұрын

@@legendarydavo It is true that one does not say "no" to Disney and have a career afterward.

@aronthedev3074

4 ай бұрын

Especially John Boyega. He was so excited to play that character in TFA and by the TRoS he looks so defeated.

It's so sad watching the director hopelessly stare at his cast for the smallest form of affirmation

@BiggieTrismegistus

11 ай бұрын

It _would_ be sad but that director is loathsome hack JJ Abrams so it's actually heartwarming to watch.

@All2Meme

5 ай бұрын

@@BiggieTrismegistus The JJ stands for JarJar, so it all fits together when you think about it that way.

I also love when Rey finds the dagger she says something like "This has done terrible things." while she holds a lightsaber that has literally slaughtered a room full of children.

@protheu5

4 жыл бұрын

Don't you worry about the children. No one's ever really gone.

@kingknightisbestknight7398

4 жыл бұрын

@@protheu5 they are probably Force Ghosts too

@SennaHawx

4 жыл бұрын

@@kingknightisbestknight7398 They're probably chasing Ghost-Anakin all over the Galaxy, so he is unable to help Jake, Kylo and Rey during the plots

@eras1066

4 жыл бұрын

@@SennaHawx Stabbing his Force ankles with their Force knives.

@TheHalogen131

4 жыл бұрын

Omg that is so true! I just laughed so hard!

Remember Anakin's whole reason for turning over to evil in Revenge of the Sith was derived from his fear of losing his wife and Palpatine's promises of them learning the power to save her? But apparently the Light Side had the means of accomplishing that already. So it makes Vader's whole reason for turning bad completely pointless.

@arikutin1032

4 жыл бұрын

😄😄😄😆😆😆😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣 I literally never realized that before now! That's hilarious!

@whitworth5s248

4 жыл бұрын

Yet completely justified because at no point did any Jedi bother to tell him that this could be done.

@Capri_00

4 жыл бұрын

Wow, greatest point ever!!! But Anakin wasn’t a Gary Lou.

@arikutin1032

4 жыл бұрын

@@whitworth5s248 why wouldn't they? The whole point of the Light Side is healing and protection. If it existed, the Jedi would be teaching this one.

@themapplesperiod

4 жыл бұрын

I loathe this movie, but to be intellectually honest you could come up with an explanation like 'Rey could only do it because it was a dark side power Sheev had but sort of in reverse. And Kylo did because of the connection between the two I guess, fuck it why not.' But then the movie would've actually had to acknowledge this and not act like it was totally normal to do that.

I come back often to these. They make me not feel alone in my own UNBRIDLED RAGE.

@whaguitars

Жыл бұрын

Agree I'm re-watching Drinkers and Maulers reviews.

@haoyuezheng6082

Жыл бұрын

same. Even every swear word is used on point lol

@0That_Guy0

Жыл бұрын

Try out the reviews from E;R, you might enjoy those too! He went ballistic with this trilogy.

@BiggieTrismegistus

11 ай бұрын

I'm not a huge Star Wars fan and have never seen the sequel trilogy, yet I love the various long KZread videos shitting all over these movies. So many beloved franchises have been wrecked over the last few years; my beloved Star Trek, Doctor Who, Marvel Comics and DC Comics have suffered the same fate as Star Wars. There's something cathartic about seeing how pissed off so many fanbases are nowadays. Star Wars fans are as sick of this shit as everyone else.

I go back to the originals. Like many I've seen and read pretty much everything there is about the Galaxy Far, Far Away. I've been involved in this journey, following all our heroes and anti heroes for over forty years. I was in a packed cinema for Rise of Skywalker. At the end when Rey is asked "Who are you?" And she replies "I'm Rey, Rey Skywalker." Two people from different sections of the cinema called out "No you're not!" To which a gaggle of laughter went around the audience as they left their seats to walk out. On the way home it hit me. After forty plus years and the galaxy sized adventures I've been on with countless characters it ended in laughter. People actually laughing at the ending. I found that sad, still do. What a way to go out.

@jaieregilmore971

2 жыл бұрын

Depressing right that why I believe Star Wars ended in return of the Jedi and is the happy ending to Star Wars which looking at the six movies it didn’t need a sequel and honestly the Disney trilogy is not a story worth telling.

“I’m Peter by the way” “Rey Skywalker” “Oh, we’re using our made up names? I’m Spiderman then.” Was the perfect conclusion to this rant 😂

@aidanmattys7488

4 жыл бұрын

Loved it so goddamn much. That edit was more satisfying than the end of the entire "skywalker saga"

@dongxx

4 жыл бұрын

Actually she's Rey mclunky

@wopjohn

4 жыл бұрын

Rey Jettster

@aidanmattys7488

4 жыл бұрын

Rey Jebwalker

@Rishi123456789

4 жыл бұрын

Rey Shitwalker.

I don’t understand how the people responsible for this could let this happen unless everyone involved with the writing absolutely despises Star Wars

@cosmictreason2242

9 ай бұрын

You get it

I've never seen a movie more terrified of upsetting people. Ironic, isn't it?

“Commander Mauler. The time has come.” “Execute Order: Unbridled Rage”

@S3rp3nte

4 жыл бұрын

"It would be done, my lord."

@PowerfulSkeleton

4 жыл бұрын

Execute EFAP #66.

@amanibob1416

4 жыл бұрын

"Roger-roger." Random bot

@PittsburghSonido

4 жыл бұрын

HES TOO UNBRIDLED TO BE LEFT ALIVE

@grandarkfang_1482

4 жыл бұрын

*Perfect Cell Scream intensifies*

Anakin: "I don't like sand - it's coarse and irritating and it gets everywhere." Rey: LOL *Proceeds to bury his Lightsaber in the same planet that he was enslaved in and the same planet that he expressed his utter disgust for its coarse sand. Continuity at its finest.

@cb_norwood

4 жыл бұрын

Well after all the sequel saga is about the ultimate all-encompassing defeat of the Skywalkers at the hands of the Palpatines.

@shawklan27

4 жыл бұрын

Don't you remember guys?! The prequels aren't canon in the sequel trilogy!

@busterbladex

4 жыл бұрын

You can actually say the same for Luke Skywalker. He literally wanted nothing more than to leave Tantoinne and be somewhere else.... hell, you can say the same for Leia because she was never born or even know the planet...

@steevrawjers

4 жыл бұрын

Flash Out lol more like contempt

@steevrawjers

4 жыл бұрын

CB Norwood true that's for sure

Some wise guy said this on the other side of KZread: "It actually all started with the Force Awakens. It literally undid everything the original heroes achieved. Relagated Luke to an island, leia to a failed general, and Han back to his smuggling ways. Turned a rebellion that won back into a small pack of "resistance" It also narrowed the world down again to just Skywalkers and recloned Vader and the empire in Kylo and the first order. I don't know why so many people fail to see how terrible of a setup TFA was for the rest of the sequels" And it sums up MOST of the problems perfectly IMO.

@Novodantis

3 ай бұрын

Absolutely. TFA already fucked up the plot by the opening crawl.

Fans: we had a deal! You promised us an epic sequel to the OT Disney: I am altering the deal, pray I don’t alter it any further

@thatoneguy-kj9nk

8 ай бұрын

Underrated comment

@curtiskretzer8898

5 ай бұрын

🍿No.Please. "Alter it" further🍿

@lukeroberson2115

2 ай бұрын

Fans: This deal is getting worse all the time. Disney: Here is a unicycle!

"I'm Rey" "Rey who?" "Rey Starwars" *Credits roll*

@mopguy8372

4 жыл бұрын

Ahh yes, Rey Starwars. The son of Chewbaca

@headmetwall

4 жыл бұрын

@@mopguy8372 Chewbaca?! I thought he was a myth!

@amanibob1416

4 жыл бұрын

"The retcon... The tism... The milking scene... All of it... It's true." Bilbo Solo

@duncanwells0088

4 жыл бұрын

RrrrrrOLL credits

@stupendous7848

4 жыл бұрын

“I am all the Star Wars”

“they can’t activate shield in atmosphere” *gungans enter the chat*

@thinkwithurdipstick

4 жыл бұрын

Well clearly the sith weren’t bombad enough to get their shields to work

@Mozoleum27

4 жыл бұрын

A new challenger, lol.

@danielchew8739

4 жыл бұрын

Droideka: am I a joke to you?

@kylescoolclips

4 жыл бұрын

those were rayshields, but you have a point nonetheless

@Mozoleum27

4 жыл бұрын

Durge:Do you even know me? I got those on my fucking hands that could deflect lightsaber blows

I love explanation that the Knights of Ren ended up being so incompetent that they just got lost on the way to TLJ lol

@Philip54622

Жыл бұрын

Lol I had to rewind that twice it was too good

@All2Meme

Жыл бұрын

Not only did they lose their way, but they lost the script to the Sequel Trilogy that didn't suck.

Welcome to Disney Star Wars, where: -Being run through by a lightsaber doesn’t kill you -Being thrown down a shaft, your body exploding, and then your body being further destroyed with the Death Star exploding doesn’t kill you…(side note, thing still looked in pretty good shape after being blown into a million pieces in Jedi) -Being sucked out into the vacuum of space doesn’t kill you. -Being shot by Chewie’s blaster and sliced across the head doesn’t kill you. -But a simple force projection kills the greatest Jedi through exhaustion.🙄

@jacobmonks3722

7 ай бұрын

Being sucked into space kills you, but you can survive for a short time, assuming you don't implode from the lack of pressure (some advice, exhale everything if you ever have to be in a vacuum). Leia being a Jedi is an easy justification for her lasting longer. Also remember she was hospitalized and out of commission almost the whole rest of the movie, so it still had huge consequences. She didn't just move past it; she barely survived. Luke's projection is the single most intense usage of the Force we've seen in any of the movies. In Episode 5, Luke struggled with basic telekinesis, and in Episode 6, presumably after years of practice and honing his skills, he still couldn't fully control all his thoughts and emotions when it mattered most. There are always going to be feats that are difficult even for trained Jedi, and Force Projection just happened to be too much for Luke's old and out-of-practice body. I have no defense for the other ones, though. Palpatine should have stayed dead, and Kylo Ren, in general, is mishandled in the last movie.

This is how a generations spanning franchise dies, with roaring laughter.

@estebancuadra02

4 жыл бұрын

Gyst Underrated gem of a comment

@shaecouture7480

4 жыл бұрын

And thunderous Faps

@GrayderFox

4 жыл бұрын

I mean, this *is* a fucking tragic waste of a story but I had to avoid busting a gut laughing in public after hearing the Empire lost *because they couldn't go up*.

@hoosier3060

4 жыл бұрын

Gray guess they needed space viagra or something...

@marredcheese

4 жыл бұрын

Unfortunately, like Palpatine, Star Wars has been dead before...

"Who are you?" "Rey" "Rey who?" "Reypublic Senate" Force ghost Mace Windu: "not yet."

@cha02psc

4 жыл бұрын

Cazabrow so... it’s t-Rey-son then?

@purpleemerald5299

4 жыл бұрын

Pedagogue Squinting *”RRRRREEEEEYYYYY!!!!!”*

@tekakiuluy3221

4 жыл бұрын

I see you're one of the padawans in r/prequelmemes aswell

@thecheesefactor

4 жыл бұрын

“Sweet Princess, if through this wicked witch’s trick, a spindle should your finger prick. A ray of hope there still may be in this, the gift I give to thee.” “And from this slumber you shall wake, when true love’s kiss, the spell shall break.”

@cazabrow1967

4 жыл бұрын

@@tekakiuluy3221 Shit, he knows..

Let's just assume that Palpatine took over Rey's body, and just played it cool and didn't tell anyone. Then he buries the lighsabers as an intentional insult, and says his name is skywalker to gloat, knowing he's gonna do bad stuff in their name.

@dodojesus4529

11 ай бұрын

Probably play the long game, train "jedi" gain ever more control inside the new republic. Remember time is no longer a factor since palps can just posses another young body. Sheev dominatus

@Mothbean

9 ай бұрын

Go for Papa Palpatine!

@thathandsomedevil0828

8 ай бұрын

Don't write the story for incompetent writers, it is pure garbage.

@StarWarsomania

5 ай бұрын

I actually had an idea for a fanfic based on this premise. It would be told through the POV of a character who’d recognized him in Rey, but Palpatine had backed him into a political corner where absolutely nobody believed him, and he could do nothing but panic from the middle distance. A dystopian story would just sort of leave that as an ambiguous/open ending. A more hopeful story would have the POV character find a way around his machinations, and have the only other character who knew (Rey, trapped inside her body like a Goa’uld host) help him expunge the “Sith soul” from her body. My muse is unfortunately wandering the back hills of nowhere, and she only shows up to throw good prompts at my face to just run away again.

@aronthedev3074

4 ай бұрын

​@@StarWarsomaniathat would be a way more interesting story than anything Disney is capable of atm. Palpatine would use Rey just as he did his political power in the prequels, putting pieces in place that will benefit him later but under the guise of doing it for the "good of the galaxy." Everyone sees Rey as the ultimate hero and so never really questions what she's doing, except for this one person who knows the truth and desperately tries to get people to see what they see. I really like that idea!

What really pisses me off about force heal is how much it breaks the canon. Every single death could be summed up with "but they could have forced healed them". I was watching clone wars with my mum who doesnt watch much extended universe star wars and satine got game ended, my mum said the best thing ever "why didnt obi wan just yknow, do the force thing that revives everyone" and i was like "spot on, if its a thing, why not do it?"

@spartanonxy

Жыл бұрын

In old EU force heal was a thing but came pretty much in two forms. One was a form of first aid. It was not able to fix severe wounds. And was a rare power. The second made people heal faster and was common but at best it turned 3 weeks to heal to 1 week to heal. There was only ONE exception that the EU went out of its way to portray as well exactly that a exception. Even by Jedi and Sith it was treated as a outlier bordering on full blown miracle. Yes healing can be done with the force in old EU but it was bound in rules. This is the biggest problem with the force in the sequel trilogy. It is not bound in any rules or guidelines. It is just plot contrived nonsense.

@donovandelozier7156

9 ай бұрын

"Force thing that revives everyone" because to revive someone you need to trade all your own life force.

“Hi, I’m Peter Parker”... “Rey Skywalker”... “Oh we’re using our made up names? I’m Spider-Man then”

@suffering-everyday

3 жыл бұрын

she buried your lightsaber in the sand next to your mom

@claws811

3 жыл бұрын

@@suffering-everyday yeah

@vakentine8173

3 жыл бұрын

Wow this is amazing... Hope you have a good day!

@jamesteller7791

3 жыл бұрын

It's OK ani

@davidripley2916

3 жыл бұрын

My made-up name is Awesome Bastard! * Disclaimer - Not really, it's Awesome (The bit I made up)

Disney Star Wars Sequel Trilogy: The single most squandered opportunity in the history of cinema

@jaredt5127

4 жыл бұрын

congrats kathy, you did it.

@Micoryourboss

4 жыл бұрын

Honestly there was no opportunity there. They should have left Star Wars as it was. The ending in Return of the Jedi is pretty final and does not leave much open

@adas2051

4 жыл бұрын

Michael van Moolenbroek you can still have some sort of continuation without repeating ANH. Look at the EU.

@HardReset_YT

4 жыл бұрын

The star wars universe is large and lengthy. The biggest mistake was using a time period so close to the OT heroes. While these films are bad for what they did to the lore and all that, the OT character assassinations are possibly the most egregious sins of the sequels.

@Teppest33

4 жыл бұрын

Remember, Iger and Kennedy had a sequel trilogy treatment/outline that they got from George Lucas, which they discarded in favor of this unoriginal cash grab. They had everything in their hands and it’s now turning into a sinking ship.

I'm so embarresed that i didn't think about how ridiculous a quick sand ceiling would be until he pointed it out.

Han, Leia and Luke were the fortunate ones. Think about Chewbacca, who lost his year-long friends and is now stuck with Rey

Anakin: *Hates sand* Rey: *Buries his lightsaber with sand*

@runningoncylinders3829

4 жыл бұрын

That’s like Indiana Jones hiding his whip amongst a crowd of similar-looking snakes. He would Never!

@afriendlycadian9857

4 жыл бұрын

@@runningoncylinders3829 just thinkong about that made me choke on my water

@isaac14ac

4 жыл бұрын

How dare she so disrespectful first she does that then steals they’re name! Give us more reason to hate her.

@SirDankleberry

4 жыл бұрын

Anakin: *I H A T E Y O U*

@kneau

4 жыл бұрын

Vanz worse yet, Rey *Ruins* his lightsaber with sand. Finely crafted things rarely remain unscathed once “introduced” to the equivalent of beach sand.

She took their life. She took their weapons. She took Leia's son. She took their victory. What more could she take? Might as well take their name.

@Straker9063

4 жыл бұрын

And Po's robot

@stlchucko

4 жыл бұрын

And their moisture farm

@DanceySteveYNWA

4 жыл бұрын

And Lukes xwing

@danielburks2257

4 жыл бұрын

She also buried their lightsabers on the planet that was painful for them. Let me list some things that happened there. 1. Anakin was a slave 2. Qui-Gon died there 3. Anakin's Mom died there 4. Anakin killed not just the men but the women and the children 5. Luke's "uncle" died there 6. They had to rescue Han 7. Leia was a slave

@ProfessorFanatic

4 жыл бұрын

To Daniel Burks: Qui-Gon died on Naboo, but I see what you mean. More bad things than good are associated with Tatooine in terms of the movies.

George Lucas is a flawed genius. His writing wasn’t always great, but who cares. He knew how to build a fantastic world and captivate an audience. No one else can make a Star Wars movie

@berliner0

Жыл бұрын

Too right

@Klespyrian

Жыл бұрын

I'd watch a Peter Jackson Star Wars movie

@YunethAlwis

Жыл бұрын

wait, isn't his writing great, just not the execution?

@papryk3102

Жыл бұрын

There are many talented and proven writers and directors who could make films set in this universe which would tell meaningful stories respectful of the lore and the world of Star Wars. It's just that such people don't get hired by Disney and they never will because they would not cooperate in writing and directing their films with a corporate AI that makes idiotic decisions based on what will lead to 0.1% more sales in tickets and merch.

@YeTism

Жыл бұрын

@@papryk3102 I’d watch a Denis Villeneuve star wars movie

Rey started on a sand planet and ended on a sand planet… theory. The entire trilogy was a hallucination by Rey.

@sijul6483

Жыл бұрын

More believable than most things in the script.

@scienceviking4490

11 ай бұрын

That's the best interpretation I've seen of this trilogy.

@dodojesus4529

11 ай бұрын

She stayed outside a lil while to long and is currently coming down from a big case of heatstroke

Disney: "What would you like in your film?" Me: "A couple McMuffins, extra convolution please."

@xFlareLeon

4 жыл бұрын

Inb4 Disney buys out McDonald's.

@krieghart5515

4 жыл бұрын

Please pull forward and wait while we cook you up some fresh shit.

@tuschman168

4 жыл бұрын

I'm so calling them McMuffins from now on. With a straight face. I don't even care if people think I'm an idiot.

@JETYEMZ

4 жыл бұрын

Ronald palp-donald

@KristerKamunen

4 жыл бұрын

@@krieghart5515 Wait, forward? Witch way is that? Do you have a tower or something?

Remember when Mark Hamill didn't like what they did to Luke and all the Last Jedi fans disrespected and ignored him? He was just the precursor. Now the entire cast can taste the disappointment Mark was forced to drown in.

@jedi196

4 жыл бұрын

Well no, true fans didn't ignore him. In fact they highlighted what he said and was backing him up the whole way. Pretty unfair that you said everyone disrespected and ignored him when it was the opposite of that with the actual fans.

@theflyluciano7877

4 жыл бұрын

@@jedi196 Hello there! My man Obi-Wan here said all The Last Jedi fans not all Star Wars fans

@donaldjgumpofficial5754

4 жыл бұрын

It's possible that the rest of the cast didn't want to jeopardise their roles in episode 9 so they waited.

@jedi196

4 жыл бұрын

@@theflyluciano7877 ah yes I see that now. Thanks for pointing it out :)

@theflyluciano7877

4 жыл бұрын

@@jedi196 It's alright, alright, alright. Misreading things happen to the best of us (meaning you a Jedi are the best of us)

What was your reaction to the ending of TRoS? Daisy Ridley: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 😬 John Boyega: 😑 Oscar Isaac: *Silently raging* Ian McDiarmid: Da fuk was that??? Kelly Marie Tran: 😱 Naomi Ackie: Keep it together 😭 J.J. Abrams: 🥺 why you not like muh movie?

Palpatine firing lighting at Rey whilst his face is getting melted made me laugh out loud in the cinema

@JadenMoon1475

3 ай бұрын

But.... why though?!?!? *_MACE WINDU DID THE EXACT SAME TO HIM IN REVENGE OF THE SITH!!!!!_*

@lorenzobarbato4558

20 күн бұрын

​@@JadenMoon1475 In Revenge of the Sith it's clear Palpatine does it to show Anakin that, if he stopped using the lightning, Windu would have struck him down with the lightsaber and to force Anakin to react, since he wes becoming too weak for that reason. I could elaborate more if needed

Rey’s Christmas list to Disney: “Dear Disney, please steal for me... -Anakin/Luke’s lightsaber -Anakin/Luke’s last name -Anakin’s chosen one status -More power than Anakin or either of Anakin’s kids -Better piloting abilities than Anakin/Luke -Better engineering abilities than Anakin/Luke -Poe’s droid -Luke’s film score moment on Tatooine But please make sure I don’t challenge Leia in leadership capabilities or show me clearly being more powerful than Leia or doing things we know she can’t do. That would just be over the top. -Sincerely, The New Chosen One”

@AkulaSpawn

4 жыл бұрын

Don't forget she now owns Chewbaca's Falcon.

@marcusa.ragnos1041

4 жыл бұрын

Dang forgot a few 😂

@mobbs6426

4 жыл бұрын

The Force Un-wha.? And who's this Pussy Starkiller everyone was talking about a few years ago

@parkeypence5974

4 жыл бұрын

Don't forget Anakin's X-Wing

@pyramidion5911

4 жыл бұрын

@@parkeypence5974 your joking right

"wHy ArE yoU oVeRaNaLyzInG a StOrY AbOuT SpaCe wIzArDs??" -Most disingenuous argument ever

@R3lik101

4 жыл бұрын

Why does he even care about any fictional story? Why should he even talk to people who care about fictional stories if he doesn't care? That guy's argument is so bad.

@soriacx

4 жыл бұрын

I thing "duuh, StarWars are just childs movies, don't you care for any plot!!!" comes a very close second :-)

@aryaadityapurbadi5527

4 жыл бұрын

Anyways, JJ Abrams how fucking dare you!

@brightgarinson3099

4 жыл бұрын

@@R3lik101 Well we truly should stop caring about stupid consumerism.

@officerspider7996

4 жыл бұрын

Oh you’re upset about Harry Potter suddenly black? Oh it’s a Fictional Story. Oh you’re upset about Spider-Man suddenly punching peoples face off like a Psychopath? Eh fictional stories. Like what is that? What is that Argument?

I love this rant. Nobody can rip on a bad movie like Mauler can. Excellent video.

"Here's a mcmuffin" Genuinely made me laugh my ass off

I would've much preferred if Kylo survived and Rey died for an ending that made more sense. "who are you?" "Ben." "Ben who?" "Ben Skywalker."

@laalaag2auntyayag776

4 жыл бұрын

That would have been awesome. Wouldn’t it be Solo though? Idk, I think I’d surely use the Skywalker name too just for the clout

@exquizzetmtg2779

4 жыл бұрын

@@laalaag2auntyayag776 kylo is blatantly based on Jacen Solo (who had a twin sister named Jaina) and Benjamin Skywalker, Jacen's apprentice from Legends, seen in the Legacy of the Force series of novels

@MobiusLeader007

4 жыл бұрын

That would have given weight to the "Rise of Skywalker" title. Instead of having every Skywalker dead and a Palpatine stealing their name.

@bkers10

4 жыл бұрын

​@@laalaag2auntyayag776 If Ben did survive he would probably have to go on the run, otherwise he would be called to pay for the crimes he committed with the First Order. Changing his name from Solo to Skywalker may have helped him remain undercover while also symbolizing his return to the ways of a Jedi. It's still a tad flimsy, but I would have liked that a lot more than "Rey Skywalker." BARF!

@darkmistico

4 жыл бұрын

omg yes .. and would fit perfectly with the title of the movie.. ¨The rise of skywalker¨ who is rising if all the skywalkers are dead as f

I still cant get over how they said throughout the entire movie, "Dont be afraid of who you are" and then Rey goes and ditches her name because she's afraid of dealing with the Palpatine name.

@loukes7758

4 жыл бұрын

Steel well Leia says “never be afraid of who you are” and then Rey sees a vision of herself from the dark side and the vision says “don’t be afraid of who you are” and then hisses at her. To me, that image of herself was mocking Leia and trying to show her how terrifying the person she could become truly is. I think it’s fucking awesome.

@loukes7758

4 жыл бұрын

BELLA ben solo

@Debicus

4 жыл бұрын

@@loukes7758 Eh. Too little too late for Rey.

@wourag3885

4 жыл бұрын

I actually thought she took the name cos she wanted to bang Kylo, so thought it was spiritually hers 🤷‍♀️

@steel8231

4 жыл бұрын

@@wourag3885 if that was the case why wasn't Ben Skywalker's force ghost there with Luke and Leyla's?

This is one of the greatest films of all time. I have never seen a film so desperate, so pathetic, spiteful, and ashamed of it’s mediocrity in my life. I can not watch this movie without laughing my ass off. 14/10, wouldn’t watch again

I love Anthony Daniels at the beginning. He made such a WTF face and didn't even care that JJ was right there 😂

It has been stated a million times and it shall be stated a million times more: The expanded universe died for this!

@IRMentat

4 жыл бұрын

Luccaluke More like. Star Wars:Disney is dead, long live Star Wars:EU! (Not EA, EU)

@Liberator130

4 жыл бұрын

@HorizonEngine05 Fallen Order is probably one of the best written stories out of the new Star Wars continuity, and it still has massive problems in regards to the writing, including character motivations and plot holes.

@kaptainkabul9499

4 жыл бұрын

Thrawn triology is my canon ending. Not caring one bit for Disney.

@Liberator130

4 жыл бұрын

​@HorizonEngine05 ​ Gotcha. I feel mixed on the mechanics of the game. Mostly, I think Upper Echelon Gaming had a great assessment on the game.

@paulnaughton9923

4 жыл бұрын

EU Fans: Legends never die.

The True Ending: The Entire Disney Trollogy was just Luke's nightmare.

@captainrednek9301

4 жыл бұрын

What Disney trilogy? Toy Story is 4 movies, dude. Lucasfilm made this trilogy, NOT Disney.

@zoltanz288

4 жыл бұрын

More like our nightmare and we aint waking up.

@LinkMarioSamus

4 жыл бұрын

Zoltan Z If these are nightmares I'd love to have them!

@zoltanz288

4 жыл бұрын

@@LinkMarioSamus why?

@whatif9854

4 жыл бұрын

@@captainrednek9301 You know Disney owns Lucasfilm right? Lol, or did I spoil that for you

I like to imagine that Kylo was perfectly fine after he healed Rey, but then she was so attrociously bad at kissing that it killed him instantly.

I’m wondering why one of the “resistance” fighters decided “hey, we’re launching an assault on the emperor and the entire first order’s thousand ship army, should I bring the horses?”

This entire trilogy was just about Rey taking everything from Luke: His Lightsaber, his powers, his friends, his loved ones, his homestead, even his name.

@matthewcollins4773

4 жыл бұрын

His purpose. His legacy.

@shuyuwang6122

4 жыл бұрын

A palpatine taking everything from a skywalker

@SCWRMComms

4 жыл бұрын

Even his freaking X-Wing. -Jovahexeon

@incubussatyrius4965

4 жыл бұрын

Girl was introduced as a scavenger. Sounds consistent.

@pierrelindgren5727

4 жыл бұрын

Rey is what a Java looks like underneath their hood.

Luke wakes up in the little tree house on Endor after the party with the Ewoks last night. "Now that was a very weird dream", he says. And then this movie ends.

@theorionproject6172

4 жыл бұрын

A heavy night on the blue milk.

@nathaniel04

4 жыл бұрын

One too many death sticks for Luke!

@pantognost

4 жыл бұрын

Pedro :P ok. From now on this is what happened as far as I’m concerned. Thanks for the solution mate.

@gganbp

4 жыл бұрын

@@pantognost I'm not the first one to think of this, I saw it in another video. I don't remember which one, tho

@adamfrisk956

4 жыл бұрын

@@lillostmiracle568 And rethink your life

I personally have contributed at least 50 of the 8.4 million views this video has. Mauler is a Beast

Despite the flaws of the prequels, the story and writing is immaculate. Having a hopeful young hero turned into a manipulated tragic figure by a villain that wins not because of brute force (heh), but through years of meticulous planning is perfect. Anakin’s main drive was to save the ones he loved from dying, and Palpatine knew this, and Palpatine was able to effortlessly manipulate Anakin to the dark side through years of neglect and betrayal from the Jedi Order. We hardly see writing like this in movies nowadays and I think this is what makes Star Wars so special. The sequels are made by a bunch of five year olds smashing action figures together and written as such. I’m more than fine with putting episodes 7-9 into the rivers of Mustafar where it belongs and never acknowledging that it’s canon.

@tyrannozilla

4 ай бұрын

Prequels > Disney

@toothgrinder2760

4 ай бұрын

“The sequels are made by a bunch of 5 year olds smashing action figures together and written as such.” “The sequels are made by a bunch of 5 year olds smashing action figures together and written as such ^whom Ioathe George Lucas, and wanted to destroy his legacy.”

@billjacobs521

2 ай бұрын

Well, you can't say the writing was "immaculate" when the dialogue was so often shit. But yes, the prequels do have alot of good to them, they are just flawed--the sequels are pretty much constructed of flaws.

@jez76

Ай бұрын

The prequels could’ve been so much better had George left the directors chair to someone else. Someone who could’ve pointed out weak points and challenged some decisions. But the main story of Anakins fall and Palpatines rise is fantastic.

@Pimploaf_YTP

9 күн бұрын

The writing in the prequels is terrible but I prefer it to bland corporate floundering

Palpatine's explanation for still being alive was essentially "Something something DARK SIDE." D:

@sleeplessend8683

4 жыл бұрын

Lol

@jasoethesentienteyeshapedg4847

4 жыл бұрын

*SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING PLOT LINE*

@marciaosullivan3200

4 жыл бұрын

I could tell you but my programming will stop me.

@Siegberg91

4 жыл бұрын

@@marciaosullivan3200 time to stick a small guy in your brain.

@AlienSupreme

4 жыл бұрын

Questioning a magical force in a unverse with a magical force

This entire trilogy could’ve been redeemed if Rey, at the end, said “I’m Rey palpatine” and then electrocuted that old lady

@marekkralik8290

4 жыл бұрын

Well,shit ... I agree holy fucking shit that woud be hillarious.

@griffith4723

4 жыл бұрын

No, no, no. It would’ve been funnier if she said “the force is female” out of nowhere and electrocute her with the sky instead of her hands. She then proceeds to be in every episode and movie and issue of Star Wars media and make it a fucking comedy, while being an all-out feminist.

@adrianogoulartcarvalho7144

4 жыл бұрын

The movie would still have a lot of problems, but at least it would've been something

@somedude5581

4 жыл бұрын

The only way to fix this trilogy is to retcon and reboot episodes 7-9.

@zenosol234

4 жыл бұрын

@@somedude5581 and maybe this time, actually plan ahead. write more than a single episode instead and just make up more as you go along

Sheevino Palpationo was the Leader of Both Clone wars sides, led an Empire, killed the Jedi Order yet this Film Portraits him as a Dumb person. Magnificent

Even without the explosion: Leia and Luke are old as hell, and Palatine was already old when their dad was a little boy. What is he, like 120?

@StarWarsomania

5 ай бұрын

Assuming he was at least 50 at TPM. That makes him about 60 in AotC. And let’s round up and say 65 in RotS. Luke and Leia are a little less than 20 in ANH, so he’d be in his early to mid 80s. Let’s say 85. TFA takes place 30 years after the Battle of Yavin. So, yeah, he’d be 115. Turns out his birthdate is 84 BBY, so yeah. 30 years plus one year between TLJ and TROS is 115 years young baby.

@glauberglousger956

Күн бұрын

I mean... There's nothing that says the Dark Side prevents you from going senile, add that to being in a broken body unable to handle his power, and I think Sheev lost a few brain cells Or maybe it's all due to him being old

This entire movie can be summed up in one line: "That' not how the force works!"

@SeekerLancer

4 жыл бұрын

Or how writing a coherent story works.

@L-eye-t

4 жыл бұрын

Or, for just about everything in this film: *"JUST DIE ALREADY!!!"*

@bluespiral4678

4 жыл бұрын

Orrrrrrrrrrrrr.........….This is not the way...……….I have spoken

@reverendrico5631

4 жыл бұрын

Most of the force stuff they stole from the “legend” continuity. Though those characters all had to actually work for their powers. Except corral horn, he had god tier illusions powers really easy, sucked at TK. Like couldn’t call his own lightsaber sucked and no amount of training fixed that. So tradeoff.

@thinkwithurdipstick

4 жыл бұрын

Reverend Rico yeah most of the stuff existed in the EU, but damn it was handled a lot better. Force healing is probably the best example. It was an ability, but it wasn’t effortless like they show in ROS. It was something a powerful master, like Ben Kenobi, could pull off but not padawans, like Obi Wan in phantom menace, so it didn’t fuck with the lore.

MauLer uploads Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker: An Unbridled Rage Everyone: "Loooong have I waited...."

@luhedi6303

4 жыл бұрын

Arya Aditya Purbadi I literally posted that and then I saw this comment. Lol

@jmuk3571

4 жыл бұрын

I’ve been looking forward to this for a year. Can’t wait for the 3 part review like he did with TLJ

@willsono408

4 жыл бұрын

Long-man BAD!!!!!

@goldenstatewarriors9418

4 жыл бұрын

Long have I waited ... for it to come out on DVD so mauler can do his huge 3-part review and we can all enjoy it more than the film.

@KneelB4Bacon

4 жыл бұрын

"This will be a day long-remembered."

2022 and still watching this now. Thanks Mauler.

It’s hilarious how rey can deflect the most powerful lightning ever seen in Star Wars with ONE HAND after being significantly weakened whereas mace windu struggles vs a weaker force lightning using both this hands and not having all his life sucked out of him by a wrinkly old freak

@user-bb1ti6ct7s

Ай бұрын

Exactly my guy destroyed thousands of ships a few sec before, but then cant even kill a girl from which he basically took most of her soul. Disney logic is so good🤡

2:10 - Title Crawl: "She trains now." MauLer: "She trains now?!" Me: "... she trains now..."

@xcaluhbration

4 жыл бұрын

Nice

@c1trooper975

4 жыл бұрын

😂

@liddokun2

4 жыл бұрын

I was thinking in that moment, "you go girl!"

@0x777

4 жыл бұрын

No, she doesn't. She does what she's been doing all the time: Showing off.

Rey: I’m Rey. Old Lady: Rey who? Rey: *Looks back and sees Palpatine’s force ghost smiling* Rey: Rey Palpatine.

@dpm2937

4 жыл бұрын

*old lady runs away*

@XNINEZERO

4 жыл бұрын

*imperial March plays*

@neropunkt

4 жыл бұрын

*lightsaber sounds*

@krystaldragons6040

4 жыл бұрын

*jar jar reloads shotgun*

@ultimatewpn

4 жыл бұрын

*Emperor cackles as Rey murders the old lady with force lightning* Best dark-side ending.

“If anything, you could skip the OT because it’s largely irrelevant compared to the larger narrative of Rey vs Palpatine” That’s easily the most damning condemnation of the sequels that I’ve heard. Absolutely true though

In TLJ Luke didn't read the "Sacred Jedi Texts", in TROS Luke wrote them.

@All2Meme

Жыл бұрын

Maybe Luke was smoking some of Yoda's "Dagobah Green" at the time and forgot what he wrote?

The next movie better start with Luke waking up and realising these last 3 movies have just been a bad dream.

@marekkralik8290

4 жыл бұрын

Hah,brilliant!That will make more sense then wholw sequel trifuckinglogy

@-cams.

4 жыл бұрын

and he just woke up from partying too hard with his friends after Episode VI lol

@sadnessofwildgoats

3 жыл бұрын

I heard a rumor from a reliable source that the prequel trilogy will be erased from the in universe timeline.

@MrMah-zf6jk

3 жыл бұрын

@@sadnessofwildgoats uh huh sure.

@kierrakim4761

3 жыл бұрын

Then he goes and tries to kill Ben who is sleeping in his Jedi School, starting the cycle over again

Rey ended up right back where she started, on a desert planet, lying to herself about her family, and hoping for someone to return. How are we supposed to see this as hope? How is that a character arc?

@Ramsey276one

3 жыл бұрын

Character BUNGEE XD

@derangedtortoise909

3 жыл бұрын

It rimes doh dah die the sequels are balls

@johnwatsoniv384

3 жыл бұрын

It's a character arc... In a sitcom maybe.

@thejustinsteffan

3 жыл бұрын

it's like poetry it rhymes

@erikdayne5429

3 жыл бұрын

The arc is so long it goes full circle 😂

I've just finished watching all your videos on Episodes 7-9, and I just wanted to say thank you for making them. You've managed to put into words everything that bothered me about these movies and how they turned my favorite childhood universe into something completely soulless and unrecognizable. All the while being entertaining as fuck. 10/10!

Having palpatine back completely undermines Anakins sacrifice.

@AAron-jj7zx

4 жыл бұрын

And Luke didn't bring balance to the force.

@ViceArancibia

4 жыл бұрын

@@AAron-jj7zx but a nobody did. Sorry Sheev's granddaughter

@bavarianpotato

4 жыл бұрын

@@AAron-jj7zx well luke was never really supposed to, anakin is and was the chosen one.

@kingmaoh5566

4 жыл бұрын

@@bavarianpotato Technically Anakian's sacrifice was supposed to bring balance to the force

@MajinMist603

4 жыл бұрын

​@@bavarianpotato Luke was suppose to bring a new order that uses both light and dark ( they don't see it like that because the force is the force there is no bad and good sides it just how you use it) .

Me in Count Dooku voice: I've been looking forward to this. MauLer: My videos have doubled since the last time we met, viewer. Me: Good, twice the length, double the rage.

@bronumero7334

4 жыл бұрын

Underated comment.

@robosoldier11

4 жыл бұрын

*Starts the video* “this is only the beginning!”

@cherlojomzyaduermanse

4 жыл бұрын

@LordGroyper Mauler: Kylo Ren is a greased weasel **cuts off hands and grabs red lightsaber** senate: DEWIT Mauler: TANGLED XMAS LIGHTS COATED IN YOGURT AND ACID

@carterjohnson3879

4 жыл бұрын

Brilliant

@grayeaglej

4 жыл бұрын

Twice the length, double the thicccness 😜

"Oxygen is subjective." -Bilbo Baggins

“I want to move away from that stupid to talk about a different stupid” 😅

Fun fact: the transmission palpatine sent through the galaxy offscreen can be heard in the Fortnite Star Wars tie in event. That’s right, Fortnite is now canonically relevant to the full Star Wars story.

@tadpolegaming4510

4 жыл бұрын

Jesus Christ

@georgelea4297

4 жыл бұрын

Oh what joy

@matteolucchi1205

4 жыл бұрын

😂(😥)🔫

@MLPDethDealr32

4 жыл бұрын

Wasnt that also a plot point in the 2015 Battlefront game as well?

@thinkwithurdipstick

4 жыл бұрын

Y’all remember when video games were based on the movies, not crucial parts of them? I member.

"They can't activate shields in atmosphere" Droidekas: Allow us to introduce ourselves

@Yhur4x

4 жыл бұрын

Even the gungans hat deflecting handheld shields in phantom menace ffs

@matthewmuir8884

4 жыл бұрын

If it had been something about that atmosphere specifically, it might have made more sense. But even then, we know its possible to build a shield around a planet from Rogue One.

@asandax6

4 жыл бұрын

The second deathstar was protected by a shield projected from the planets Surface. I believe JJ thought Star Wars and Star Trek are the same thing.

@rollewestbom

4 жыл бұрын

Yhur4x grey even had the gigantic shield that enclosed the whole army

@Meanpooh

4 жыл бұрын

I was thinking that the whole time.

Gotta be honest, I kinda like this movie, not because I think it's good, of course not, but because you can feel it was entirely made out of spite.

@ThisGuy7310

Ай бұрын

Yeah that's it's only redeeming quality. The fact that JJ Abrams hated TLJ so much that he undid just about everything Rian shat out on to our screens makes me laugh to this day. Rian Johnson and and his TLJ simps were probably crying in every scene of this movie because it rendered everything from TLJ obsolete.

Ok, note on the star destroyers rising. Why in hell did it not cause a massive Exogulquake, each one is meant to be assembled in space (if I remember correctly, the Kuat Drive Yards makes them in space), and the whole area that Kylo and all of Palpatines followers would immediately be hit by a magnitude 10 quake, they would be decimated and covered in rubble

finally a worse love story than twilight

@cartooncritique6625

4 жыл бұрын

I thought that was "Fifty Shades of Gray".

@Stigma-ba115

4 жыл бұрын

@@cartooncritique6625 Fifty shades of REY

@tessalyn6895

4 жыл бұрын

@@cartooncritique6625 that doesn't count since it is literally a twilight fanfiction

@cartooncritique6625

4 жыл бұрын

@@tessalyn6895 Fair point.

@yojez

4 жыл бұрын

That’s exactly what I was thinking! Who fucking thought that having her hook up with a dude that murdered his father was a good idea? It’s so much worse