"You can't say wrong stuff and blame me."😂

@MrMate8869

4 жыл бұрын

For all the deaf viewers?

@tiffanyvalencia8415

4 жыл бұрын

That should be our President Trump's quote

love from Seattle! (PS Kermit, if you read this, You did a gig at my highschool 18 years ago...and its still one of the best memories from my senior year.

"I used to eat breakfast in my twenties, but I can't stay up that late anymore."

@Saiyanjohn415

4 жыл бұрын

I can and do haha

@kingsxkids

4 жыл бұрын

Jason Klotz I’m sorry Jason but I must add: I used to eat breakfast in my 20s I still do , but I used to....too.

@wesleycolemanmusic

3 жыл бұрын

@@kingsxkids ok Mitch

@johnmiyake

2 жыл бұрын

L

The bras off we don't leave the house😂😂😂.... Too true! Funny show👍

"I've had screensaver fish die. How does that happen? "

Rewinding the tape with your pinky is the over-40s gang sign.........oh my gosh! HahaaHAAhaaa! 😂 ...Don't make me bust out my pencil yo... HILARIOUS

This is pure gold! Dry Bar Comedy is the best thing that happened to stand up on youtube lately!

@shadowofneo

4 жыл бұрын

Agreed

@yolondaharrington5665

3 жыл бұрын

Watch Cody ko

@nicolaserickson6006

3 жыл бұрын

Agreed.

@malachimahalo1113

2 жыл бұрын

Amen

@CharlieScarver

2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely

When I was in my 50's I pulled a muscle in my back, twice. I was POURING A CUP OF COFFEE STANDING UP!

He is hilarious. I LOVE the 40 and over jokes. I am 62 and have to do the leg lift to get into the car..I didn't know others had the same problem. I still have cassettes.(use cassette recorder to record things that I have to memorize)

I really love this channel! Thank you Kermet and Dry Bar Comedy for a really great set!

Someone told me dry bar comedy is clean comedy the other day. I had no idea!!! I've been watching specials for months and never even noticed. These guys are good, and just also happen to be clean comedians

I remember making ashtrays in art class out of ASBESTOS.

@breAnnasmama

4 жыл бұрын

Alan Macphail word ! Me too haha

@GorgeousRoddyChrome

4 жыл бұрын

Those WERE the good old days.

@KickyFut

4 жыл бұрын

Don't forget to paint it with lead-based paint!

@pepinillorick5741

4 жыл бұрын

And it keeps getting better XD

@EnjoyCocaColaLight

4 жыл бұрын

How.. that's not safe :(

Ahhhh, nice, funny, clean comedy! Nothing like it!😊

Being pulled over by a min-van is bad, but I got pulled over by two cops on bicycles. Got stuck at a light and they caught up to me.

@AllhailtheUS

4 жыл бұрын

Don't feel too bad...I remember years ago working downtown on the 10th floor of a building and watching 6 people driving cars get pulled over and ticketed BY A COP ON A HORSE. There was a one way street that had restricted hours for turning on and people never followed the rules. So two cops on horseback worked the corner and ticketed t people in about 45 minutes lol...at least you didn't get that!

@dberd9149

3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

OMG this was a tough room - Kermet had me crying with laughter!

Ha, Ha! Ashtrays in School. We did them at Vacation Bible School!

@pepinillorick5741

4 жыл бұрын

Thats hardcore

@AdultThirdCultureKid1971

3 жыл бұрын

I used to make an ashtray out of clay in the first grade. ☺️

We used to actually rewind our cassettes with a pencil to save the batteries. I'm from India and back in the 70s and 80s electricity was still scarce. If we had a party and there was a power cut, they'd be two or three guys furiously spinning the cassettes with pencils to keep the music going. Lol.

I'm from Hawaii. I'd like to stay in this country.

@Matty80822

3 жыл бұрын

don't ever leave *looks around nervously

It's the best thing ever when you can quote Star Wars in a relevant context. One of my greatest achievements in life was being able to quote Luke Skywalker: Me, at work, standing near the front desk looking perplexed: " :/ " Admin assistant: "Can I help you with anything?" Me: "Not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest, or teleport me off this rock!" Admin assistant: "..." (blinks a couple of times) Admin assistant: "what...?" Coincidentally, I'm still single.

@Name-ps9fx

4 жыл бұрын

Teleporting is a thing in Star Wars?

@jimmyboy131

4 жыл бұрын

@@Name-ps9fx It is if you want to leave that particular rock.

@pr9039

4 жыл бұрын

@@Name-ps9fx /woooosh

@Name-ps9fx

4 жыл бұрын

The Madrummer LOL, yes I recognized the dialogue between 3PO and Luke...but only just realized the “or teleport me off this rock.” I know the other two suggestions-“alter time, speed up the harvest”-were hyperbole on Luke’s part, but just wanted to find out if teleporting was, in fact, a thing in SW.

@breAnnasmama

4 жыл бұрын

jimmyboy131 hahaha that’s awesome ! Ok so I don’t wanna start any conflict here but I’m prob. The only person who hasn’t seen any Star Wars movies .. I said I’d try and watch them all one day but idk .. I’m 4 decades old and have missed out haha !

" I'm going to fart on your neck" sounds like something my three boys would threaten each other with. So funny.

Should have kept that Jedi robe handy, brother...

@MrMate8869

4 жыл бұрын

The irony is he had to throw it out because of all the handys.

This guy is hilarious.i'm glad i stumbled upon this. He's got me on the floor laughing....

@dixiebirkner9466

2 жыл бұрын

I did not know that Pokemon had a sense of humor

@dixiebirkner9466

2 жыл бұрын

Or you know speak English

Oh my gosh this guy made me laugh out loud so many times. The bras off! His hand motions sell so much; can't even relay here. Just watch him. I'd totally go see him in person.

Saw this guy open for Brian Regan, he's great.

@mickib1592

2 жыл бұрын

Steve West, right?! Saw him twice open for Brian. Perfect pairing! He also has mad musical skills (Hawaiian music, oddly enough 😉)!!

@carmel3613

2 жыл бұрын

Oh wow that would have been a great show! They're both so brilliant.

I live in Hawaii, and I get asked all the time when I’m gonna move back to the states🤦🏻‍♀️🤣🤣🤣

@nickles2185

4 жыл бұрын

Same here in Alaska. We are our own countries according to the other 48. Lol

@polycatmagic1236

4 жыл бұрын

So dumb 😂 Sorry from all my fellow "mainlanders" for asking such an uninformed question... So are you gonna visit the US some point? 😉

@nickles2185

4 жыл бұрын

@@polycatmagic1236 it's funny; in Hawaii you all are "the mainland" and in Alaska, we call you "the lower 48". 😜

@kampaigner2558

4 жыл бұрын

I'm from AK n yall goofy. Who cares!

@meowypotter1246

4 жыл бұрын

I'm from California and am always told to leave. 😊

I'm 35, I understood all these jokes. I remember the phone at my grandma's farm being a shared line with the neighbors.

@sophie9679

4 жыл бұрын

lol I'm twelve and I did too

@jnfn194

4 жыл бұрын

@Al Gee pencils just didn't quite so it.

@w115jjm

4 жыл бұрын

My parents had a rotary phone. Hated people with zeros in their number.

@markjohnson7887

4 жыл бұрын

You're 35 and remember a shared line? Even here in Canada those went the way of the dino way before you were born. Where the hell do you live, some 3rd world country? ""Party Lines" is an etiquette film for a long-gone part of rural life: the party line. Shared/group telephone subscriptions were an integral part of American culture until they were phased out primarily between the 1950s and 1970s." So yeah.. couldn't have been in the US, or you are lying.

@lucky5th2

4 жыл бұрын

@@markjohnson7887 you can call me a liar if you want but it's true. I live in Minnesota in the US. The Midwest is pretty far behind the times. Especially is small farming towns.

"Grover and Kermit Jr." 🤣

I'm over 40 and I approve this.

@Ghryst

4 жыл бұрын

im under 40 and i approve this. great, we got everyone on earth covered

@MrMate8869

4 жыл бұрын

I bless you after you sneeze and I smile when you fall over.

@tiffanyvalencia8415

4 жыл бұрын

💛 the over 40 gang sign

@Solutions3000

4 жыл бұрын

@@tiffanyvalencia8415: LOL

@dColorOfBoom

4 жыл бұрын

What about the exactly 40s

Dry Bar is the not only the best thing that has happened to You Tube, it’s the best thing since Sliced Bread. Thanks Kermy.

Wow! Kermit Apio. I used to watch this guy at Swannies Comedy Underground back when he had hair 😂 Good set Kermit, you haven't lost a step Brother!

This dude is now one of my faves -probably cuz im drunk and I'm about to turn 49 and can relate to EVERY thing he says... except for one thing at the end: In the state of Maryland you can get a ticket for taking too long to find your license and/or registration. I say and/or cuz yes...there are 3 tickets you can get for one,the other and both. Welcome to Maryland, what's in your wallet? If you are caught driving on a suspended license you'll get a ticket for that, and one for possession of a suspended license and one for... driving while license is suspended while in possession of a suspended license.

@remyllebeau77

4 жыл бұрын

Land of the free? How about land of the fee, home of the slave. These authoritarian systems need to be torn down to the foundations.

@Name-ps9fx

4 жыл бұрын

Remy Lebeau “Torn down to the foundations” requires a new Constitution, govt, and flag. Are you ready to burn the US flag yet?

@remyllebeau77

4 жыл бұрын

@@Name-ps9fx I didn't say redo the foundation, but the gov't should be abolished because they are all puppets for the criminal elite. Get rid of our fiat, draw and quarter everyone from the federal reserve, and then we might have a good chance at freedom.

@Name-ps9fx

4 жыл бұрын

Remy Lebeau That’s funny, your post did say “...torn down to the foundations.”

@tarico4436

4 жыл бұрын

@@Name-ps9fx I think they call that "walking it back." Probably just another keyboard warrior.

I feel for you man - It's not easy being green.

@kathcasey2090

4 жыл бұрын

Elmo is giggling on the floor!

Mr. Apio, your show is greatly appreciated. Our family could not stop laughing. Thank you for your show!

Laughing so hard I'm crying! He is good!! 😂🤣😂

I'm in my 30's but got the jokes and loved this! he's hilarious!

Oh my god this guy is hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing

@markfoster1520

4 жыл бұрын

Skywalker over here, thinks the frog is funny!

@vincentskywalker8479

4 жыл бұрын

@@markfoster1520 well he's a lot funnier than you are seeing he's famous and your not

In College I had a Hawaiian Professor that was ALWAYS late!

It's great hearing stories of cassette tape song searching! Yet at age 31, it's still makes a man roll on the floor laughing my eyes out! Thank you for the memories!

I'm definitely under thirty, but every time dry bar comedians make some joke about something pre-1990, I know what they're talking about. I have my parents to thank for that. :D

I'm 43 years old and yes I remember making clay ashtray when I was young. it ended up being a coins dish

So glad to find some clean comedy! 😅

I've come to the conclusion the over 40 joke also applies if your poor.

I made an ash tray for my Mormon parents in school sometime around 1992 😆

This guy shows moments of brilliance.

I wonder if his wife calls him kermie

@kathcasey2090

4 жыл бұрын

Or if their garbage can yells at them.

@cookeymonster83

4 жыл бұрын

I reckon he calls her Miss Piggy at certain points.

@pillager6190

4 жыл бұрын

LOL! That's Gold

@InGrindWeCrust2010

4 жыл бұрын

Omg I'm dying

@LadyVoldemort

4 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I haven't even seen clips of this guy, and now there is a full standup?

@andrewmcdevitt2554

Жыл бұрын

Right!!!!!. I'm on here religiously and never seen this

@donaldjohnrobinson6531

10 ай бұрын

But he's great isn't he?

“Walk away in a jedi rob,” I can see that.😁

Talking about the Sony Walkman, I remember when it was cool to have a transistor radio. And I learned "keyboarding" on a manual typewriter. And when I was a kid, tape recorders were reel-to-reel because cassettes hadn't been invented yet. And we listened to music by playing vinyl 45 rpm disks on a record player. And you had to "take turns" with your neighbors using the 4-party telephone line. And we hung our wet laundry on the clothesline with clothespins, and we also had to iron those clothes because there wasn't such a thing as "Permapress." And our TV was only black & white, because color TV's were new and very expensive. And hula hoops were the "new" rage, with adults trying to master them. And there was censorship on TV with G-rated content. Maybe that's why the kids are so different today...no censorship, no morality, "anything goes." That's what they see on TV. We saw Ozzie & Harriet, Father Knows Best, and Leave It To Beaver. The world has certainly changed for the worse as far as family values go.

@neillconroymni6906

4 жыл бұрын

Absolutely! More fun because of the suspense.

@AdultThirdCultureKid1971

4 жыл бұрын

I remember learning to type on an old typewriter in ninth grade. LOL! It came in handy later on.

@wytwabit

4 жыл бұрын

@@Ben_Dover753 I was born in Trenton, NJ. I lived across the Delaware River on the PA side, but my mother worked in Trenton. In K-3, there were black & white kids in my Trenton school. I never thought anything about it. Then a black family tried to move into my Levittown, PA, neighborhood, and someone burned a cross in their yard. They never quite moved in and were suddenly gone. It was a very mean thing to do. My new stepdad got transferred to Mobile, AL, in 1968 while George Wallace was governor. There was still segregation with only token integration. We were only there for a year. Then my stepdad was transferred to the SF Bay Area, CA. I married an older man whose daughters intermarried with black and native American men. We were all happy, and the kids are beautiful. See past the obvious differences and enjoy the cultural diversity.

@barbarat5729

3 жыл бұрын

Kostantinos Kanelopoulos You must be a lot of fun at parties. 😝

@jturtle5318

3 жыл бұрын

@wytwabit the shows with submissive Stepford wives with no opinions, wants or preferences of their own, obediently staying home so the men could have the jobs, getting by on tranquilizers. The era when "colored folk knew their place" and didn't try to get good paying jobs or go to college. No thank you.

Did anyone else melt old wax crayons onto wine bottles to make candle holders?

@JUST-UK-JAY

4 жыл бұрын

erm .... no you spaz we melted the bottom of the candle and wedged it in :/

@barbarat5729

3 жыл бұрын

I'm Jay We did both SPAZ.

2:27 is so funny to me, because even the moon is looking at him like "😏" at that little cheesy pick up line. This guy's timing is better than he realizes 😄

Yea he has his ages mixed up. Im 38 and had a walkman and a old gameboy. And we had phones on the walls and tables. And winded up cassettes with pencils.

@JUST-UK-JAY

4 жыл бұрын

your mum was a scrooge thats all

@barbarat5729

3 жыл бұрын

Winded?

OMG I'm 5 min in and so glad I clicked. He's freakin fuuuuuny!

@Name-ps9fx

4 жыл бұрын

Jake Lecroy I made it 10 minutes in, then had to run to the bathroom or else find a really big towel, real quick! Haven’t laughed this hard since getting divorced!

@kathcasey2090

4 жыл бұрын

@@Name-ps9fx - Congratulations on losing all that weight! (Divorce)

@JUST-UK-JAY

4 жыл бұрын

@@kathcasey2090 that got you your 1st like lol :)

Kermit is very funny! He put a smile on my face! Thank you!

I will just say that I'm under 30 and understand the cassette tape references

Loved this! (And yes, I'm over 40. I'll explain for a very low cost). I never had a preteen daughter. Had a son. When I was a preteen daughter my mother, when she'd visited London (we're Swedish), bought me a sign to put on the wall "Nobody understands me".

I'm 29. Grew up poor. I knew cassette tapes. The rich ppl had the electronic rewind devices. Lazy 40 year olds telling me I have no idea. I remember having to drag petrol cans to start a generator just to watch 3 hours of TV.

@bobbierobinson6269

4 жыл бұрын

Y'all could afford a generator?!

@tomfrazier1103

3 жыл бұрын

Did you stay rural Big Island?

The "fart on your neck" part got me laugh so hard tears running down my neck while farting. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Pretty sure I gain at least one ab pack now... Man's hilarious!!! 👍👍👍👍👍

You almost killed me with the fart on your neck joke I couldn't catch my breath LOL

MACARONI BONG I'M DYING

i actually cried laughing multiple times, this guy is hilarious

Omg, I think I broke a rib. "Get your goggles and a turtleneck we are doing this."

My parents are 82 and 83. The Silent Generation. I'm the youngest of 5...I'm 45 (Gen X) years old. My parents STILL have a wall phone and my millennial son and daughter grew up seeing the Wall Phone (at their grandparents), The Cordless phone (at their own home with 2 bases AND caller ID) and eventually the cell phone. Imagine me jogging at age 19 with the CD Walkman! I gave up!Not on the jogging...but on that skipping a## Walkman! Amazing times! Great comedian. He kept me from doing chores because I wanted to watch his body language too...lol.

Read title I could've told my mans that

@Ghryst

4 жыл бұрын

listen to rest of show. any man on earth couldve told you the rest

EXCELLENT! Bring him back! : )

This is genuinely funny! Surprised there aren't more views. This one deserves and will reach the 1M+ level for sure!

😹 As an almost 40, the over 40 gang sign made me LOL! hahahahaha

My son is named Luke and we still use the "Luke, I am your father" joke on him. Yes, he loves star wars. Fave character? Darth vader and robots.

@jeremyhartley9559

4 жыл бұрын

one of these days he might tell you "you're saying it wrong!" since Darth Vader never says "Luke" in that line. ;)

@liamwallace6722

3 жыл бұрын

@@jeremyhartley9559 dang bro you just fact checked his fatherhood

I'd love to hear you do a bit about rewinding DVDs. I fooled my wife into that once. That's when Blockbuster was still around. Then she punched me in the arm. heh

I had an walkman and I'm under 30, but i was poor. We had a bunch of VHS tapes, Lion King was the most played one. So nostalgic! Loved his show!

I'm 25 but was raised by grandparents, so every "over 40" joke was not lost on me. Especially the cassette tapes and manual car windows.

9:30 pm is the new midnight 😂

"The smaller the town the more I look Arab"

@nicholasfrancis8381

3 жыл бұрын

He um, already said that one 😂😂😂

@jaminhooley9539

3 жыл бұрын

Absolutely hilarious

We made ashtrays in second grade, and Christmas angels in fourth grade. For the angels we used FIBERGLASS INSULATION. The entire class itched for weeks. 😂

His wife sounds like a real battle axe...

@1MinuteFlipDoc

4 жыл бұрын

Norm!

@Name-ps9fx

4 жыл бұрын

Ha, only in her dreams!!

@tarico4436

4 жыл бұрын

Or so the Germans would have us believe.

When the canadian bacon falls off the tree, you gotta pick it up before the 3 second rule applies!

I'm over forty, and remember a lot of what he said. Ahh the dark ages… 😁 This guy is hilarious! Kermit means frog in America, Mom! 😆

Literally had me in tears!!! Great show!!

One of the best sets I have watched in a long time.

I'm 33, and I had a LOT of flashbacks to my childhood. Kermit cracked me up!

Love listening to dry bar comedy. I do it every day at work now

I'm 35, and understand every old-school reference, because my family was extra-poor... We still had the long-cord wall phone on 9/11

I hope he gets the stardom he deserves

We used to rewind cassettes with a pencil... 🤣. We became experts

@jerichogragasin1170

3 жыл бұрын

Oh yeah. Saves 🔋 battery a lot.

Saw this guy live at Medora Musical 2020 last night, he was hilarious

I have had fish screen savers die!!!🤣

15:18 I was born in 1975 and had a walkman. Also had a phone on the wall. My teenagers have a hard time believing me.

"Aww, no way, I'm getting busted by a family of five? No way." Gives a whole new meaning to Hawaii FIVE Oh

His gym is a delicious Mexican restaurant where he works out his jaw muscles because he needs those for work.💪🏿

I HAVE NOT LAUGHED THAT HARD IN A LONG TIME. OVER 40.

I had a walk man and a members only jacket-maroon!! Reel up with a pencil!!!! To funny!!

Glad to see you are still cracking people up! Love your stuff, especially about Hawaii! =)

Man this guys jokes are so nice, cool, clam and collected

Awesomeness! This guy is hilarious funny! 👍🏼😂🤣

the quotes yeeeess dude "walk away in your jedi robes" 🤣

I've been a pastry chef then if he's talking cakes...... 😶

Funny dude. A much welcomed change of pace right now with all this virus stuff goin on. Thanks!

I broke ribs clearing my throat while making morning coffee.

as a 24 year old agoraphobe I guess I'm actually 40

@da1stamericus

4 жыл бұрын

Same here but over 30. Thank God for therapy.

@RevMarket

4 жыл бұрын

66 here.

@JUST-UK-JAY

4 жыл бұрын

grow up, all of you idiots

This man is brilliant!! I love the original stuff the ADD book club. Hawaii Five-O has one native and he weighs 700 pounds. Magnum PI is one of the best shows on television. I’m surprised they found someone to fill Tom Selleck’s shoes so well

8 hours in a row. 🤣👍🏾. You work way more than that writing and rehearsing but still great work if you can get it!!