But now too, young women who know they want a family struggle to find that husband that's mature enough to start a family that young.

@ErikaLaGrande

Жыл бұрын

My 20 year old daughter won’t even date. She’s focused on school. She did say guys her age are so immature that she doesn’t feel attracted to them. She says the guys in their late 20s/early 30s are attractive, but understands that any guy that would date someone that much younger might be a little off…probably a control freak. I think she will be open to a relationship as the boys closer to her age mature. Thankfully, she’s focused on school and not out wasting her time in a pointless “relationship” or having no strings attached sex.

@LS-pk3lh

Жыл бұрын

Best comment in this thread!

@blah914

Жыл бұрын

this is so true.

@garysuarez9614

Жыл бұрын

What follows is an opinion based on observed events in my life. TL:DR; it is situational and only going to get worse. Since men/males/masculine traits are demonized by cultural conduits, why grow up? There is no reason to get a job if someone less qualified can be guaranteed a better shot at a better spot. Can't be qualified without schooling and certificates, and men are further demonized in academia, at the cost of any further development of masculine traits. Since all it takes is an accusation to destroy man's career, it follows logically that association with women has to be minimalized for preservation of the only thing that matters to men besides health, which is indication of status. In marraige, the statistics speak for themselves. 1/2 of marriages end in divorce, 80% instituted by the alleged woman. The woman is helped and encouraged to improve their lot by the government, while the man is largely ignored as long as he pays for his failure in the marraige and whatever is due his offspring according to courts and law (not justice.) Consequent marriages have event more disastrous statistics. Also, men's needs have always given way to women's needs. So with no consideration except for the negative, and no way to win but by not participating young men are staying boys with very few masculine role models to guide them. The role of father in most families is either absent or of a buffoon à la Homer Simpson. "The hero must die." ergo: Don't be a hero.

@danielclipper931

Жыл бұрын

​@@ErikaLaGrande understandable. I mean my 20yo girlfriend openly wants my kids. But I personally feel she isn't mature enough for that yet. So it can go both ways but you are very right that many young men are only looking for casual.

Theres an exception to every rule. I settled down at 19, had a child, devoted myself to him but we never actually married n I ended up homeless last year. So now at 28, I'm devoted to my career so i may never depend on a man again n I will never move in or have a child with anyone ever again until I'm married. Huge lesson learned

@CatWearingHeadphones

10 ай бұрын

How many stories like yours happened before women could enjoy their independence? So many through the decades Hope you’re safe now

@arantxatzeitel

9 ай бұрын

That actually happens so often that we that are now offered more opportunities, do not hesitate to build a career while searching for a reliable partner. I hope you're doing better, big hugs 🫂❤️‍🩹

@adisan4679

7 ай бұрын

Why the f do women even think about having children without marriage is beyond me

@Najme_

6 ай бұрын

@@adisan4679 people in general

@estebanrojasr

4 ай бұрын

You should have married. Then you get half of everything in case your husband decides to be a jerk.

This was exactly me. At 18-22, I didn’t want anything to do with being a mother and only cared about my career. At 28, I shocked my husband and told him I think we should have a child. Luckily he had also changed his mind. I have 2 children now and I absolutely love being a mother. I quit my job when I was pregnant with my first and have no regrets.

@ryanjensen5897

Жыл бұрын

Why do women decide later in life to settle down and have a child? Is being naive part of it? Friends? I'm curious because you're not the first person to admit that.

@annabocking8824

Жыл бұрын

If you want a career as a mother there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!!

@MrMajsterixx

Жыл бұрын

@@ryanjensen5897 the f ? "admit that" as if that was something bad ? Why the F should be settling down and having a family naive ?

@ryanjensen5897

Жыл бұрын

@@MrMajsterixx Found the bitter woman. Get some cat food now while it's cheap.

@yomi_ash6324

Жыл бұрын

@@annabocking8824 never said there was anything wrong with it. I know lots of women that do that. For me, I had a very stressful high demand job and didn’t want to stretch myself so thin.

We don’t tell young women that careers are the only thing that matters. We tell them to have careers so that they can stand on their own two feet no matter what life throws at them. So that no matter what happens to their partner, they can take care of themselves and their children. So that they can afford to choose a partner based on factors other than financial survival. You don’t see society telling 19 year old men to focus on building a family - you tell them to focus on building a career so that they can support a family later. And we don’t rush them while they build that career… we tell them to enjoy their youth. Maybe if we rushed young men a bit they’d stabilize faster and become suitable mates for younger women, so that young women don’t have to marry men so much older than them if they want to marry young. We’re literally giving women the same message men have always gotten - learn how to support yourself, get to know yourself, grow up - and THEN pick a partner that compliments the grown version of you - and THEN add kids to the mix. These steps are important to her well-being … and the fact that a woman has a biological clock complicates things but it doesn’t make it any less important.

@marielyspaduasoto1282

Жыл бұрын

👏👏👏

@MsDragonbal776

7 ай бұрын

If this isn't the most narcissistic drivel I've ever seen

@UnAnonKnown

7 ай бұрын

@@MsDragonbal776 You’re going to need to explain why it’s narcissistic for a woman to wait until after she’s grown, developed & understands herself before picking a life partner is narcissistic. Because I really struggle to understand how someone who isn’t grown and has a poor understanding of herself can pick a good mate. The funny thing is, we get surprised when underdeveloped women pick poor partners and then blame them for it. But we also chastise them for waiting until they’re in a better frame of mind for making such an important decision.

@MsDragonbal776

7 ай бұрын

@@UnAnonKnown it's narcissistic because the "solution" to women's problems as you state them here is to put the burden of performance on men instead of telling women to grow the hell up and make proper decisions. We have our own shit to deal with and society is farrr more brutal in its expectations for men than they are for womenn

@JordanBPeterson

Ай бұрын

You put at the end what should have been at the beginning: biological clock.

so, as a girl i took it upson myself to ask my childless friends why they dont have kids. i was suprised to find that all of them answered one of two things: either MONEY, or money & no reliable man to raise the kid with and they refused to make themselves a single parent on purpose. not a single one answered their career.

@Phasma6969

Жыл бұрын

ask what are their expectations because there is no perfect time, what has to be fulfilled or checked off to go yep ok fix me up a fetus???

@blah914

Жыл бұрын

@@Phasma6969 the finances to make it viable and a reliable partner. all in all, not big demands.

@pamm2652

Жыл бұрын

The thing with the money I've found. At least with the people I know.Is that they don't want to give up the things they are able to buy right now for a time period. A lot of them have more than enough money to live comfortably with a child.

@reharl4953

Жыл бұрын

Now ask them what financial preconditions would establish said theoretically ideal situation. If you're from a Western society, they're most likely unrealistic.

@Karin-ui1iz

Жыл бұрын

Here there is another answer: FREEDOM!

That's not the only reason for women choosing to be childless in their 20's. The cost of living, in most countries at this point is unsustainable. How are we suppose to financially support a child? Pay for food, clothes, supplies, rent, energy bills etc. When a even duel income from a couple isn't enough to pay the bills without a child? It's not an issue with the people, it's an issue with the system

@xXJesuslovesyouXx

Жыл бұрын

100%

@psychlops924

Жыл бұрын

Then do something outside of the "system". A lie we've all been told is that you need to go to school, get good grades, get a degree, and then you'll find a job and be set for life. That is the system that is broken. Entreprenuership, and Free Enterprise, are what brought the US and other western countries the prosperity they have, and they are the only way to truly get ahead today. Also, as a father of three, I've found that I had the money to raise kids before I had them, but I was chosing to selfishly spend that money on myself. There is no greater joy I've found in life than being a parent, but of course we've had to make all sorts of sacrifices along the way. As Jordan has said elsewhere "You get to pick your damn sacrifice. That's all. You don't get to not make one." You either choose to sacrifice for your kids, or you choose to sacrifice your kids and your future for your current level of comfort.

@jessicahoughton3946

Жыл бұрын

@@psychlops924 I agree with your point this is the case for a lot of people. It however does not apply to me at this moment. I'm in my 2nd year of running my own business which has been really difficult given the current economic crisis here in the UK. I have previously had my own flat when I was employed and at the end of the month had zero pounds left for any luxuries for myself. I have holes in most of my clothes and currently can't afford to buy new ones. Couldn't tell you the last time I bought anything that wasn't a necessity such as food or bills. You may have gotten quite lucky with your ability to live your life the way you have and have a family where you can afford to provide for them, you may have worked your butt off to get there, but unfortunately that's not the case for everyone and there are people who are trying so so hard but can't seem to break free from the living week to week cycle. I'm really happy to hear that your hard work paid off though and you're very very lucky to have thoes 3 kids 😊

@IHavent82Day

Жыл бұрын

@@psychlops924running your own business means working way more than you would with a 9-5. MAYBE you make enough to afford having a family but you don’t have much time to spend with them.

@faithm9284

Жыл бұрын

​​@@psychlops924 Well put and spot on! When life happens you make it work, and it drives you to accomplish and stretch yourself in ways that are honorably beneficial. Congratulations brother! I know you fought well and hard to Provide and Protect! 👍

The man i loved walked out on me and the only thing that stays by my side is my career🥺 I love that some women are lucky to have found the men they love and settle down, but some of us really try and 'fail' anyway. Im now 30yo, soon to be 31 this year, i knew since i was 15 i wanted to get married one day. I was born into amd raised by my mom and dad who were traditional couple (mom stayed hom, dad worked) and i wanted what they had. I am not promiscuous, i take personal accountability of my life, i work on myself every day to be a descent member of society but still, the man i thought would spend his life with me, left me. I cant control him into being with me so i let him go for good, believing there is hopefully a better man for me one day, who knows what hes got on his hands and cherish it. I just hope that we could understand that this issue isnt really black and white issues and not all women deliberately choose career over relationship. Some relationships just dont work and theres no one really to blame.

@TheFaro2011

Жыл бұрын

Woman. 30? You needed to get over him and move on. YOU not having kids is like letting him win. Stop your mentality, you're economically sound. Get out there.

@brodericklesher2955

Жыл бұрын

@@TheFaro2011 I seriously doubt it's that cut and dry

@JohnSmith-dr9wv

Жыл бұрын

You literally lift weights. That's masculine as shit. No man wants that. Not trying to be rude, just trying to be open and honest here. No man wants that. Modern society tells women we want someone independent that has tattoos and works out, but we don't. Because that's masculine as hell.

@meydiaengka

Жыл бұрын

@@TheFaro2011 thats a fair observation. In my case, the alternative of being fit is being fat, which is objectively not attractive and uncomfortable. To each of their own

@DUES_EX

Жыл бұрын

@@TheFaro2011 not so simple fool. Relationships are very complex

As a 30 something childless women it has remained my own decision and has never been something I was influenced by. I have never wanted children, never had the maternal instinct, I find the idea of physically being pregnant revolting. I’m autistic and have a number of health issues so being pregnant and raising kids would be a sensory hell that would end up affecting the children. If someone can be convinced or ‘influenced’ to not have or to have kids, as far as I’m concerned they’ve not got a strong enough desire for or against. As someone who doesn’t want kids, my not wanting them is absolute, unwavering and final. I’ve always imagined that those who want kids have the same feeling but opposite. Surely you’d know you want kids and there’s no alternative to that thought.

I had my son at 30 and don’t regret a second of it. He’s sunshine. He seriously has the biggest heart for a 4 year old. He always thinks of others. People say it’s hard financially, heck yes it is. But it can be done. Just like people are saying children ruin relationships and marriages. Not true at all. It can be done because I’m doing it. Just wanted to share this in hopes maybe someone might be on the fence about it. Also, I worked until I was 36 weeks and had to be put on bed rest(I would’ve kept working if not). Grateful and blessed I have a hard working hubby. Also thankful I’m able to be a stay at home mom 🧡

@CordeliaWagner

Жыл бұрын

Every mother talks about her child that way.

@rasmusturkka480

Жыл бұрын

@@CordeliaWagner Just wait 40 years and he'll be paying your bills through charity

Had all my 3 kids by age 28. Lucky for me because age 34 I had to have a hysterectomy over a severe condition- I almost died. Anyway - my children and now grandchildren are reason life is so grand. I get to try and pass on a sense of adventure and faith and gratitude for all life has to offer to them. We homeschool my 2 grandsons which is so AWESOME life gets better by the day!! Never regretted putting family before any career - which came later in life much better than I ever thought possible.

@reharl4953

Жыл бұрын

Genuinely happy for you.

@CordeliaWagner

Жыл бұрын

Sounds like a nightmare to me. Homeschooling like christian hate and uneducated underclass?

I'm 37 and I've always known that I don't want children. I don't place emphasis on a secular career, my emphasis is on being a servant disciple of Jesus. I'm so happy I wasn't forced into motherhood... really thankful about that. I have no regrets =)

@DominicGrindrod

Жыл бұрын

God tells women to have children You are not a real Christian You’re cherry-picking

Nobody is telling them a career is the most important thing. Women today realize that for a variety of reasons, being a SAHM probably won't be an option. They know they need to be prepared financially before they have children, and since they are going to have to work, they might as well do something they like and something that pays well. Having a career gives them options. The same people who criticize women for focusing on a career before having children are the same ones who will criticize her if she finds herself in a position where she needs to ask for aid to take care of those kids.

@juliapoelstra3624

Жыл бұрын

Yes!! A good job will give her flexible hours, decent pay and benefits to take care of her baby!

@nyadpics

Жыл бұрын

​@@juliapoelstra3624 bullshit.... Many of my woman colleagues quit their jobs because they don't even see their children growing up. This is what JP is talking about... STOP SPREADING FAIRY TALES TO WOMEN!!!

@juliapoelstra3624

Жыл бұрын

@@nyadpics how nice that they're able to just quit. Not an option for everyone. Settle down

@hbkkashleyy1685

Жыл бұрын

You bring a good point. You ldo you ) All that is being said from my stand point. That people will always have something negative to say . No matter if your making triple digits or a lot less. Its never enough. You make 1million. Nope not enough. Gotta aim for 2 next time. Nope still not enough. Life is short. What they are simply saying is. Of you desire to be a mom. Then do it. Yeah two parents is better than 1. But we live in the wealthiest country In the world. We give money away to countries that do not even like us, in fact hate us. So if there are single parents out there that need temporary help then so be it. This is the problem with ignorance in the US. We should think With a United mind set. But instead it is all about who is driving a Tesla or who got what degree, or wow he or she is a millionaire. Again life is short a woman only has a short window for child bearing. We should help those who need a hand regardless of the situation. When your life is over and your number is called. You'll be face to face with your creator. I highly doubt his first response to you will be. Oh my child good Job on that degree. Oh and swell job making those millions . Nope it will be, him showing you how you did or did Not help the poor. Have a good day and go donate something.

@jennpul1015

Жыл бұрын

Great point, it is about balance. My sister's husband cant contribute financially to his household now because his brother has cancer and lost his job as a result of being very ill. Now most of his earnings go towards supporting his brother's family. The brother had the traditional family where his wife stayed home with their 3 kids. Lucky for them, both my sister and her husband have good careers so my sister alone can provide for her family. A woman earning money is a great backup plan .

The thing is that there is a lie that underpins all this: namely, that women throughout history have never worked when they had a family. This lie skews the whole debate. Ordinary women have always worked when they've had children at home; it's just that it was easier to do so back then because you either took your children with you to work (early mills and factories, or small shops), you worked around your husband's hours (charwork in an evening, say), you had childcare from a relative or neighbour, or you worked from home (sewing, mending etc). The difference now is that young women are funnelled into 9 to 5, child unfriendly professions. And when they have children, the family either has to pay for private childcare or wrap around care, or they are stuck. That's the real issue. Society and the economy has mutated in such a way as to prioritise the single individual above the family unit. And the everyone is surprised when people don't have kids. 🤷🏼‍♀️

@robertagren9360

Жыл бұрын

All are asked to sacrifice 5-7 days a week.

@slantdwave

Жыл бұрын

Was thinking of carrying a 4 month old baby on my back in my office job when I found out this baby needed adopting but her fosters kept her. I wasn't going to ask permission. Nothing in the manual/handbook saying it wasn't allowed.

@CordeliaWagner

Жыл бұрын

I just don't want to ruin my body with pregnancy. Mothers have disgusting wobbly tits and ugly stretchmarks. NOPE.

@PC-pe3tg

Жыл бұрын

Agreed

@zaraclubb596

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for acknowledging the ways that our society perpetuates a system that isn’t friendly for women and especially women that want to have children. Let’s stop blaming women for something that they can’t control.

Some women don't want children, some are not ready until later in their 30's, and some just find it difficult to find their life partner. It's not all because of the tendency of parents to push women to success and career. There is so much more to it.

@TheFaro2011

Жыл бұрын

Ok fair enough. But why are MORE women more than ever NOT having children?

@deepblack2193

Жыл бұрын

It’s okay to not want children its a lifelong worry and commitment it’s not for everyone

@ania2370

Жыл бұрын

​@@TheFaro2011 Because we have more opportunities now. And pregnancy is not pleasant so of course I wouldn't want to do it more than once.

@sangredelangel

Жыл бұрын

@@TheFaro2011 People always want more to life. Women just had fewer choices back when they couldn’t open a bank account.

@Madelope

Жыл бұрын

@@TheFaro2011 because they have full time careers and realize adding another child on top of the child (husband) they already have would create more work for them and result in them needing to ditch their career - which they spent years building.

Remember ladies: The only way to be smart and independent is to sacrifice your youth and home life to make a C-level executive who doesn't even know you exist slightly richer.

@Billiard-cp1my

Жыл бұрын

Well that is patronising. Instead of advising "ladies", maybe work on your own gender. God knows they need it!

@jasonrojas3592

Жыл бұрын

​@Rose We do, it takes a lot of energy to sort through the undesirable women that wanna be "independent" while cheating and taking everything they can in a divorce. God help us indeed

@Mpel3

Жыл бұрын

​@Rose Did you just get offended by the word "ladies"? Dear God, get a life.

@Paarthurnaxdova

Жыл бұрын

We don’t care! Women are not trying to look cute and hot for males.

@someonewhoisheretohelp3561

Жыл бұрын

​@@Paarthurnaxdova you just proved the point in this comment

Financial independence is a MUST for ANY WOMAN doesn't matter whether they wanna have kids or not

@johnnyboy3949

Жыл бұрын

Yet all women want a man who can pay for everything for them. Women don’t seem to see the problem with this. That is why they are single and childless. They don’t know what they want.

@vforvictoria9777

11 ай бұрын

Better mate selection

@abhinavsukheeja7663

10 ай бұрын

​@@vforvictoria9777best reply ever. better husband selection indeed

@Crystal-111

9 ай бұрын

@@vforvictoria9777what if the husband falls ill and cant go to work anymore? Or what if he dies?

@abhinavsukheeja7663

9 ай бұрын

@@Crystal-111 in those worst case scenarios is when a man will get to know that is she loyal or not And also the women has a situation where she can prove her loyalty.

I am a child of divorced parents, like a lot of people my age (23). My dad had money, my mom didn’t. I’ve seen with my own eyes and felt my moms struggles, while my dad remarried, got more kids etc. These ‘ high value ‘ man expect us woman to carry their children and raise them. But if there is a divorce because they are both miserable, they don’t want to give the woman any money. The woman is not able to work full time because they have to take care of the children, because the man is ‘too busy to pick up the kids from school’ because he HAS a career. So yes, a career, or at least working experience and building up my CV in my 20’s is more important than children for me. If I am ever able to have children, I don’t want them to feel my pain and struggle living in low payment housing, not able to give them what they want because I am trying to survive.

Well, you need a good man who will support you. Not easy.

@burns83

Жыл бұрын

BS. There millions of men that want to support a family. They just dont check your every box list

@CordeliaWagner

Жыл бұрын

I have a great boyfriend and we both earn a pretty penny. But I don't want to ruin the body I work so hard for.

@janegardener1662

Жыл бұрын

@@CordeliaWagner And that's fine. Not everyone has the abiity to raise children. Luckily we have modern birth control to give women a choice in the matter.

@traceynelson2170

Жыл бұрын

Question is will you support him?

@recoveringsoul755

Жыл бұрын

@@traceynelson2170 I did, raised my kids and paid off my home. But turns out he married me for my money and to be free slave, and he took everything wth slander. Courts cater to criminal activity these days. According to Lundy Bancroft, published author who has worked with angry and controlling men for decades, the courts have been giving FULL custody of abused children to the abusive father for 40 years now. The courts know and they keep doing it. Not sure if there is a way to prevent that, especially if you don't realize what you're dealing with at the time. Without a miracle, I'll probably starve in a month.

My father would not support his daughters going to college. Only my brother. He said his daughters would go to college and then soon after marry....that college was a waste of time in his opinion for women. Well, two of his daughters did go to college! His son didn't. My father died from alcoholism. Seems he was the one who wasted his life.

I'm a childless woman who's 30 and never in my life have I heard anyone tell me that career is the most important thing in my life, quite the opposite actually. Everyone has always insisted on saying that having children is the most important. That has neither pushed me into wanting them nor into not wanting them.

@myman8336

Жыл бұрын

@@wintersolstice4793 He's a Sperm doner on the side

@DipsyMum29

Жыл бұрын

Tbh a person who doesn’t want kids making a choice isn’t really who he is referring to. I think it’s those women who think they can have kids at anytime and postpone until it’s too late. I’ve always wanted kids so when I met my husband at 18 and had my kids at 24 and 26 it was very much welcome. At 32 though I went though suddenly menopause though due to medical issues. Had I put off having kids then I never would have had them at all, and for me personally it would have been a lifelong regret. Now that my daughter is 18 it’s like I’ve given birth to my best friend lol I think it’s more to do with being self aware of what they want in life.

Many women simply don't want to have children. No hidden agendas

@DChristina

Жыл бұрын

Successful programming

@angrylionlion6109

Жыл бұрын

@@DChristina no you are programmed

@salafi267

Жыл бұрын

That's what they're trying to convince them but at the time when they're at their late 20s they start to see how they're scammed My advice to the ladies unlearn everything thing they've told you, find a good man and have children and settle down

@DChristina

Жыл бұрын

@@angrylionlion6109 - Nope, guess again.

@angrylionlion6109

Жыл бұрын

@@DChristina it is not a guess. Just like you, I am convinced that you are programmed

Women should be independent and have careers rather than relying on a husband. The world has enough people, why should all women be having children by 30?

@grandevirtude9830

9 ай бұрын

Exactly, as a Man, i just find weird why this argument is only towards Women and not Men.

@rikachan5394

8 ай бұрын

Unfortunately it becomes a bit more complicated to have kids when you age, but 30 should be fine, from what I know

@MsDragonbal776

7 ай бұрын

​@@grandevirtude9830it absolutely is directed at men as well. I get inundated all the time with questions of "when are you going to have kids?" as a 30+ male. However, because most women don't desire most men, it's understandable to a certain extent why a man would be without children or even a relationship for that matter. But when women are without both a relationship and children irrespective of the social privileges and opportunities that they have(most men desire most women), then yes, it becomes questionable why such women are single and childless

@grandevirtude9830

7 ай бұрын

@@MsDragonbal776 Some people just want to focus in their career instead, i am a Man and i don't want to have something in my way to pursue my dreams. And most Women think like that.

@italkgory99

4 ай бұрын

@@grandevirtude9830I believe the difference there is that women only have a small 15-18 year window to have a family and if they miss it, the games over.

18-19 year old women are not ready to be mothers, I had a young mom(19) who herself was trying to find herself and didn’t find the responsibilities of a child 24/7 enjoyable. I agree with Jordan that we lie to that women can have everything but it’s also wrong to ask women to be mothers when they are too young to be mentally ready. We don’t expect 18-19 boys to be good fathers who can provide why do we expect so girl can take all those responsibilities on their shoulders? Hell, most fathers even in 30s 40s ignore the work that needs to be put to raise their kids and put it all on the mothers, stay at home or working.

@vik6304

Жыл бұрын

True words. Having a child is not only mother's responsibility

@reharl4953

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely no one in this conversation is suggesting women should be getting pregnant at 19. He's saying the brainwashing of young women to value their career aspirations (which are often artificially implanted) over their personal ones begins at around 18. This comes from the aggregation of several large scale studies of childless women in their 30's who expressed regret at over-valuing their career. When asked why, most subjects ultimately answered "because everyone else told me to".

@vik6304

Жыл бұрын

I get it but it sounds almost like there's two choices career or family and kids. What if neither happens in your 20s or even 30s but you're still a responsible individual taking care of yourself? Did you fail?

@RockinMoxy

Жыл бұрын

He isn't saying that women should be mothers at that age. He is saying that women are told to place career above everything. A career doesn't fulfill you for life. A career is supposed to be the groundwork you lay to provide for your family, which when done right beats career every time. You see your legacy in your children and grandchildren. Blood of your blood and bone of your bone. Regardless of what you contribute to society, nothing beats that.

@reharl4953

Жыл бұрын

@@vik6304 Are you talking to me?

My grandma, who was trapped in an unhappy marriage since she was a young woman, told me to always be financially independent. Thank you Grandma, best advice ever. And it's perfectly normal and possible to have children in your 30ies which is what I did after getting a job, a profession and a PhD. If it's so great to sit at home caring for children in your 20ies, I recommend that men do it and stay at home with those babies while their wife is in the office or anywhere. Good luck when you turn 60 or 70 and have no money.

@asamicat8323

Жыл бұрын

Exactly. What if it's your husband to leave you, what do you do without a job? How can you reach safety and comfortably your elderly years without your work? A woman should be always independent to a man. We as society constantly try to improve but women should still live as 70 years ago, without even be able to take care of themselves

@dkillips

Жыл бұрын

i would gladly. but women dont respect or find attractive a man who is a homebody. if you read what i just wrote and feel reactionary, look at your preferences. it isnt for a man who has less than you.

@KD400_

11 ай бұрын

Ur grandma was part of the problem lol. Unhappy. Men don't get to do things based on their feelings

I swear women can't do shit without someone else complaining about what they're doing

@Anton43218

Жыл бұрын

Thats women for you

@dolabellajr

Жыл бұрын

That’s how life is for everybody

@dannysanchez1925

Жыл бұрын

@@dolabellajr 🤨

@totesmagotes3688

Жыл бұрын

Are women actually doing what they want? Or are the doing what they’re told they should be doing? Women are artificially being put into fields they don’t naturally tend towards, and being told by the institutions they having children and families don’t matter. This is resulting in more childless women that ultimately are living the life of a worker bee making more money for their boss, but not having families with children that brings much more meaning to their lives. Overall, why do you think men work so hard to make a lot of money? It’s not just to be single and go on lots of vacations. They do it to provide for their families. This is why it is so ironic that there is a huge imbalance in men and women going to university. It’s somewhere around 65% women that attend college vs. men. Women are empowered, but it seems they are unhappier than ever in history.

@dannysanchez1925

Жыл бұрын

@Totes Magotes and what if a woman doesn't want kinds is she just brainwashed, or are you the one brainwashing her to adhere to your beliefs. Who are you to decide what women want? im pretty sure most adults have the brain capacity to figure out what they want to do with their own lives

No one lied to me. I’ve just never wanted children.

@sarahwagland1559

Жыл бұрын

My mother never lied to me. It was clear that having children didn't bring her any joy. She loved us and looked after us but she was very unhappy. I knew from a very young age that I would never have children. I'm 56 now and have no regrets apart from wishing I had brought my mother more joy which is hard when you felt responsible for her misery.

@MeHoyMinoy-cv3ps

Жыл бұрын

@@sarahwagland1559 sounds like your mother traumatised you and your outlook on family.

@RedArtistx

Жыл бұрын

​@@sarahwagland1559 Sorry to hear that. Glad you are content with your decision. I'm finding a childless 30s very isolating - so many local social events are either geared towards people aged 60 +, or geared towards mothers with babies or small children.

@lifestylelines

Жыл бұрын

Same here. I knew with 13 that I want no children. Have a husband and dogs now, that’s all I ever wanted 🌸 there is no one fits all

@janegardener1662

Жыл бұрын

@@RedArtistx Do you have a hobby? Dancing, tennis, woodworking or whatever, it doesn't matter. Get out and do something you enjoy and you'll meet people who also want to get out of the house and do something different for a change.

I believe this trend is a positive one. People over 30 are more psychologically prepared to raise and take care of a child as they have had the chance to work out through their family / early-life trauma and mature during their 20s.

@JordanBPeterson

Ай бұрын

50% of women childless at 30 will be permanently childless

No one lied to me. I have simply never wanted children

@brunogama8255

9 ай бұрын

But you want a career, ask yourself why

@evanickamir2671

5 ай бұрын

your choice! be careful!😍 this world is too crazy! i def wouldn't have kids if i could rewind time! i worry 24/7.

The lie is that women are made to feel like they are selfish and useless if they don't want children. There are many, many women who have had children and have regretted it. And since it takes 2 to tango, men also are lied to.

@dflaming1371

Жыл бұрын

Yeah why are the men always left out of this conversation?

@deepblack2193

Жыл бұрын

Whoever says women are selfish for not wanting kids is a fool

@fahimrind9714

Жыл бұрын

I think we're taking on a statistical scale. Statistically women want children, who bases generalised advice on 5-10% of the population?

@pa7764

Жыл бұрын

Men generally need a career before they can have children, because women have "standards" and refuse to date anyone that doesn't earn a certain amount of money per year. Men can have children in their 60's. Women are on a strict biological clock that says you should get children BEFORE 35 or the risk of failure or serious injury appears, and increases drastically with each year beyond that. Men aren't lied to (about this). Their career very well might be the most important thing to focus on from age 20 to 30, while a woman who wants multiple children should start before 30. The most unhappy demographic of people of all genders is childless women above the age of 40. As Dr. Peterson mentions in other talks, we focus way too much on having 'fun' at 20, and noone tells us how miserable life becomes at 45 if you don't have a family. Let alone at 60. Or 70. 80. 90. Life's pretty long these days. Friends aren't forever, and won't fill your heart like children would.

@Madelope

Жыл бұрын

@@pa7764 it’s 2023, every woman has a career… if you come across one that doesn’t, she’s like the men who don’t either - using daddy’s money

Its not the women wanting a career only. It is expensive having a child! How many people are still leaving at home with their parents at the age 25?

@MiriadCalibrumAstar

Жыл бұрын

well, rent and homes wouldn't be that pricey if womans weren't also fighting for getting one.....

@ambikabhan3329

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for saying this.

@SomeGuyNotKnown

Жыл бұрын

You don't get to say this when you only get to pick one.

@Beaira

Жыл бұрын

@@SomeGuyNotKnown huh?

@MsGuess12345

Жыл бұрын

I’m still living with my parents and saving up. It’s impossible to pay rent these days

This has nothing to do with lying to young women. TWO people have to be able to afford a home and a desire to raise children, not just one.

@guyinacage

Жыл бұрын

We need to reverse the devaluation of labor and we need to reverse the destruction of the middle class so that it will once again be possible to support a family with only one parent working

@alhfgsp

Жыл бұрын

​@@guyinacage If we can't have this then women being only homemakers is a pipe dream.

@alhfgsp

Жыл бұрын

The working class need to have spending power again, first of all, if families can hope to survive on a single income. In most households, both parents need to work. The lie is that women don't need to have an education and be self-sufficient. I'm proud of any human (male or female) that has the mental fortitude to build a career, with or without kids.

@guyinacage

Жыл бұрын

@@alhfgsp we have a broken economic system that primarily taxes the middle class rather than the wealthy. it has resulted in an insane wealth inequality.

@modaenity2618

Жыл бұрын

​@@guyinacage NO. YOU need to accept that women WANT to work because they want to be independent.

Fine, but can we also talk about how expensive it is to have a kid? I think economics is playing a way bigger role in this than just societal messaging, and loading up young people with huge amounts of non dischargeable debt right out of college is probably one of the single greatest barriers to starting a family especially if you can't get the job in the field you trained for.

Not everyone is cut out to be a mum ,and society should not just assume every women will make a good parent . If a woman has really thought it though and decided aginst motherhood this is a wise, loving thing to do..

People giving up their life for a job need to realize that they’re sacrificing so much for something that in the scheme of things, probably doesn’t matter. Family is what we have in the end, not a job title or salary.

@reharl4953

Жыл бұрын

Bingo. Even if you're a preeminent member of your field, the moment you retire no one will care that you were even there. Your career isn't going to hold your hand on your death bed.

@alhfgsp

Жыл бұрын

Without the resources to support your family then you're screwed.

@Madelope

Жыл бұрын

Tell that to the males then, why won’t they ditch their careers to raise a child then?

@CordeliaWagner

Жыл бұрын

You can have friends instead of biological family.

@reharl4953

Жыл бұрын

@@Madelope tElL tHaT tO tHe mAleS The point here isn't a battle of the sexes type scenario, like your hilariously defensive kneejerk reaction, but rather the flatly accurate assertion that modern women are being told to pursue career aspirations without asking why or for what end they're pursuing them. Men throughout antiquity have generally conducted resource acquisition activities on behalf of their families. As cellularly senescent organisms, our offspring are the only thing that truly survives us. Our Gucci handbags, BS trips to Cabo, and employee of the month awards do not. Those "accomplishments" are absolutely hollow.

There’s nothing more powerful than a mothers love for her children. It’s the most fulfilling part of my day. I wasn’t happy when I had them in my early 20’s but I’m so happy I had them young now. Hoping they have grandkids so I can spoil them in my 60’s

My friend had her 1st child when she was 20yrs old. The nurses & staff treated her with contempt at the hospital, whenever she attended, as they thought she was too young to be starting a family. Even though she had a permanent partner, and had already adopted her nephew, who would have had to go into care, if she hadn't stepped in.

@queengoblin

Жыл бұрын

that is way too young, she wasn't even fully developed yet. humans are aging slower as we advance, we are going to be fertile longer as well. spiritually we do not mature until Saturn returns at 28. it is VERY rare that someone is mature enough for a child at 20, and children do not make one more mature, despite popular wisdom. women aren't meant to start having kids until around 25, and men at 30-32. we no longer live in the victorian era where we die at 27.

@CordeliaWagner

Жыл бұрын

20 years? That's so young. She ruined her body and has to sit at home while her friends live the good life. So sad especially when you don't need a doctor to buy abortion medicine on the internet.

@mikelubin148

Жыл бұрын

@@queengoblin you are confused af

@italkgory99

4 ай бұрын

Well i mean nowadays, that is a bit young. If she were about 25 or so, that may have been a better time

It would be nice and very fulfilling if a young man and woman could get married, have a child and actually have a stable life without her income.

@garret8787

Жыл бұрын

It’s possible. I have many friends that do. But they had to be willing to trade for modest lifestyle. They are some of the most content and happy people I know.

@coolwater55

Жыл бұрын

It would be very nice if a young man and young woman could have a child without his income.

@ziggystardust3060

Жыл бұрын

​@@coolwater55 there's a physical difference - the woman's body takes up to a year to fully heal from giving birth, and in that time she's breastfeeding her infant. I don't think that person commenting meant any sexist perspective, only reflecting on traditional values. In some countries the father gets 2 years' paternity leave to be at home with the baby and mother, and to me that sounds like a great idea for the whole family. I'd be interested to hear what you think.

@coolwater55

Жыл бұрын

@@ziggystardust3060 The United States gives very short maternity leave and paternity leave. Canada provides a year, for father or mother. Of course it makes logical sense the Mom goes on leave first. One can extend another year, depends on company. Paid leave only goes to 4 months, some companies provide a percentage of wage after that. Not sure which company provides 2 years, but that's wonderful.

@ziggystardust3060

Жыл бұрын

@@coolwater55 wow that's interesting! There are complicated ways of working out what each parent is entitled to, but it seems generally that the mother takes the first period of time off, then both parents or either parent can choose to take 'parental leave' but the laws are different for each country of course. In the UK a parent can take 50 weeks' leave. It varies across Europe, with some of the top ones being: Italy (5 months), Germany (14 months), Poland (41 weeks), Bulgaria (58.5 weeks), Sweden (68.5 weeks), Hungary (until the child is 3), Lithuania (2 years), Czech Republic (up to 3 years). Up until 2021 there was some discrimination against same sex couples having rights to parental leave, however the EU courts took action on that, so I believe it's better for them now, though I'm not sure exactly what the current EU laws are. 😊

Here's the thing... Society does the same thing to men. We live in a capitalistic society where nothing is gained without being earned... Which is not impractical, by any means... Except in the fact that how much you will be able to earn is based on how society values what you are offering because society IS the device. You are only allowed so many options to choose from to gain what you physically need to survive... If what you consider would be your highest gain in life... Meaning something you are passionate about doing that has meaning and purpose to you, falls outside of the ever growing mechanism of society, and your interest isn't becoming rich, successful, or famous... It doesn't matter. You still HAVE to have a job to pay the bills. A career is obviously the wiser choice because it offers a certain stability, predictability, and dependability. But it is structured to feed the device, not to service the mechanism that causes the device to be able to run. Which is proven by the fact that certain levels of education are required to get a career in any of the few fields we are offered as options that would keep us better than check to check living... Which puts us into debt before we even begin earning money to be able to provide for ourselves... With the promise of a better life... Eventually... The carrot on a string we all chase in one way or another. 👍 So we all spend our lives working within this system to simply provide for our basic needs... While our passion... Those things that bring us joy, contentment, and satisfaction, sit on a shelf waiting for the day we can have time to explore or try to develop them. And sadly, there are far more people who are too tired to explore what they were once passionate about by the time they can because they used up half their life simply trying to provide for basic needs, than there are people who could or would. The System is the problem, not the people forced to work within the confines of the System.

@mariuwu789

Жыл бұрын

Yea, I agree with what you said. People are often trying to take the best out of their circumstances... So the arguments of the video are understandable, although I don't think there's one size fits all, per se. Living in general isn't easy. I'm passing through some stuff that I've never wondered that I would, and I don't think it's fair to bring another person to suffer with me here. I don't judge who chooses this path, but once I'm here, I do need to get the accountability over my own decisions and needs... The system isn't here to help anyone, so we need to do what we can to find this fulfillment without regrets.

I had my first child at 19 and had four more by the age of 29. I did so while completing my BA and MA degrees and currently am working on my doctorate. I also homeschool them and teach at a university remotely so I can be at home as much as possible. The family comes first. When I die, I will regret the time I no longer have with them; I won’t regret the years of working I missed out on.

Jordan Petersen is a coward for not mentioning the fact that men literally leave women while they are pregnant. And also people don't even have money to move out of their parents house before 30.

I'm 25 and I was told women are to be independent, career driven, and equally as capable as men and we should not be happy or satisfied until or unless we get it. At 25 I realized, I sure wish I would have listened to my heart. I should have married and had children. I should have put my walls down because living my entire life on defense has left me completely alone. Can women be just as capable, yes, but unlike men that's not where we find happiness. That's not what we really desire. We're not men. We need to stop acting like we are.

@husnatariq6314

Жыл бұрын

🙌

@linzsstorytime1348

Жыл бұрын

You can't lump all women into this? I never tried to be like a man. Trying to reach financial freedom means we are trying to be like a man? Wth? Having a higher level of ambition and realizing one's own potential and going after success is a good quality to have. Having kids and being a mother is wonderful, but see how great things are when you find you can't afford to give your children what they deserve or even what they need. Not all men are successful enough in their careers or jobs to fully provide everything for the family. Don't you think it would come in handy at that point, having potential and ambition and getting one's foot in the door into a career path or something that can bring in extra money to help provide these things? Don't hang up the hats ladies- just evolve to being able to DO BOTH. We really don't have a choice. Find a way- whatever works for your particular situation- to find that balance and do not just rely on a man to take care of you because most of the time you will certainly be left unfulfilled, your children will be left not being able to have what you want for them and all in all everyone's quality of life will suffer. So no. I don't think having drive and ambition and a desire to succeed means we are trying to be like a man. You are 25 but you have a lot to learn still. Don't give up on yourself and don't think you're supposed to have it all figured out by 25 either. I had my first child at 32. Met my husband at 30- you can't really rush when you meet the right person. It happens when it happens. Just keep getting up every day and doing the best for you and others and take care of yourself and you will attract someone on your energy level. Be sure to put out the good and it will come back to you. The second I stopped looking for a man, and instead worked on myself and found true happiness (and said I wasn't going to date anymore) was when that man came into my life...the cliche is legit.

@vianeyalopez

Жыл бұрын

@@linzsstorytime1348 Of course not I've never heard anything that was 100%. It was just a generalization like most things. There's nothing wrong being career driven. I found a lot of happiness there for almost a decade.

@linzsstorytime1348

Жыл бұрын

@@vianeyalopez it's a good thing to keep in your back pocket now that you're ready for your next phase. You never know if you'll need it later down the road. You will also be more respected for your brains by the men who matter. Stay away from those who don't respect your knowledge and are only interested in what's on the surface.

@linzsstorytime1348

Жыл бұрын

@@vianeyalopez well, I suppose I even disagree with the generalization. I should've asked you instead...what it is you mean with the comment about women need to stop trying to be like men?

As a woman who experienced marital abuse prior to my divorce, I have to say that there’s nothing more important than having a career and be financially independent. Don’t let men abuse us because they think we depend on them! I’m just glad to be childless now and I travel frequently for leisure. When I reach retirement age someday, I’ll make sure to pay for a good senior care in a nice facility or community center. People with children cannot expect their kids to take care of them when they get old. There are many elderly people in senior center who have kids but they still end up at a senior center.

@garret8787

Жыл бұрын

That’s so sad. I hope that’s not all life has for you. Maybe with time, you’ll be able to trust again but with someone who has a servant heart and not abusive.

@someonewhoisheretohelp3561

Жыл бұрын

Hon, maybe you need to look at the guys you're picking to marry... congrats on being independent, but don't pin one bad experience as all men.

@hgff69

Жыл бұрын

Don't stereotype all men because of your misadventure.

@lolhi5217

Жыл бұрын

​@@someonewhoisheretohelp3561 Hon, people change in a blink of an eye... if you're here to help, offer some encouragement and sympathy instead of bashing someone for the environment they lived in. Abuse can be invisible until it's not

@someonewhoisheretohelp3561

Жыл бұрын

@@lolhi5217 my sympathy is irrelevant to the blunt truth, and I prefer not to give any until I know both sides

Seriously Jordan Peterson I don't ever comment because I'm usually seeing the video late but I've always wanted to say thank you and please don't listen to hate, anybody with common sense knows that you are a bright light. You've done so much, I remember seeing all this crap and thinking am I crazy or is everybody else, then you started to blow up and you didn't let them shut you up, your articulate and very thoughtful. No matter what don't forget your an inspiration, don't let your star burn out. Thank you 🙏

I was a fairly radical feminist in my early 20s- went to a very liberal school, presented pro feminist writing at conferences and classes, was praised among my peers but was deeply unhappy. Even when I came back to Christ, I still had the impression that career was the thing and although I was married at 25, I remained on birth control and was in no hurry to have kids. That mindset shifted as we both fell into more traditional gender roles. As a homemaker, I’m happier than I’ve ever been. But I’m turning 35 this year and we’ve been trying to have kids for nearly 5 years and we’ve had no luck yet. I truly think the poisonous birth control that is shoved into our hands at 18 has a lot to do with the statistics of women with no children.

The first lie is There is nothing more important than your looks!

@natalierinehart7109

Жыл бұрын

That's not really coming from the mainstream though, is it? Article after article on how 50+ year old women are still as desirable as 20 year olds. "Looks objectively matter and they're almost always better in a woman's youth than in her old age, so use them to get a husband when you have them" would be a) the truth and b) shocking to see in a modern magazine

@Billiard-cp1my

Жыл бұрын

Tell that to most men. All most of them care about is how a woman looks!

@louiseredman2933

Жыл бұрын

@@Billiard-cp1my I don’t agree. A man may sleep with a woman because she is attractive but he won’t stay with her in a relationship if she has nothing else to offer but looks. Most young women nowadays don’t even read a book or learn a language or skill, they solely rely on their looks as if that’s a fundamental aspect to the relationship. It’s very sad actually, many young women are being told lies all the time and missing out on genuine connections and raising families as a result.

@GILady86

Жыл бұрын

Men will pick the prettiest girl. So that's why women want to look beautiful. Women want a career for her own security. Divorce rate is high. Men leave. Men die. A career give a sense of security. All men don't make good husbands. It's not guaranteed, a great marriage.

@Billiard-cp1my

Жыл бұрын

@@louiseredman2933 That is your opinion as a woman and I wish you were right. Unfortunately though, men are not that deep. They are not interested in whether a girl has read a book or can speak another language. Indeed, that would be a hindrance to their plans for her. They just want her to be young, beautiful, innocent and submissive to be marriage material. Haven't you watched any podcasts by men (even the ones over 50). It is disgusting but true, in a lot of cases. They want a baby making machine, house slave and sex goddess all rolled into one.

I was convinced I didn’t want kids until at age 28 I became unexpectedly pregnant and everything hit me like a flash of lightning. There was nothing more in the world that I wanted except to get to hold my baby. I have never looked back. No regrets. She is the most beautiful light in my life and the best thing to ever happen to me.

@Brandespada

Жыл бұрын

That again, is a bit of an exaggeration

@katiemarie144

Жыл бұрын

@@Brandespada what? how do you know? 🤣

@Brandespada

Жыл бұрын

@@katiemarie144 I've been around in this world for some time now.

@katiemarie144

Жыл бұрын

@@Brandespada so without knowing anything about me.. you think my post is false? because you’ve “been around”? 😂 i’m just curious what you think i’m exaggerating about. lol

@Brandespada

Жыл бұрын

@@katiemarie144 Well, a child can bring happiness, but to become the "light" in one's life means there are some lack of love and ambition in other areas.

It's pretty hard to find a man in his 20s who wants kids too

@psychlops924

Жыл бұрын

You just have to know where to look. I was married at 21, now at 30 I have 3 kids (my wife and children are without a doubt the greatest part of my life btw). My three brothers were all married in their early 20's, one at 27 is about to have his first kid. I suggest going to church, particularly churches that put a focus on the importance of family. I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and believe me, meeting a young man from the church in his 20's who isn't hoping to get married and have children before 30 is a rarity.

@getriebenesauge9683

Жыл бұрын

Who says partners need to be the same age?

@rano12321

Жыл бұрын

easy outside us

@Max-jq3kj

Жыл бұрын

All men want a family There's just no successful outcomes for men in the family dynamic. Horror and pain and betrayal is what's in-store for men who marry. And who destroys these families Look it up. I'll give you two guesses but your only going to need one.

@psychlops924

Жыл бұрын

@@Max-jq3kj Hard disagree. If that's what you want to speak into existence, that's what you'll get. But maybe the problem you've run into is a bad association. If you hang around people that get divorced, you're way more likely to get divorced. If your parents were divorced, you're more likely to get divorced. To avoid such a fate, you need to completely change the people you associate with, and you also need to completely change the way you think about marriage, women, and life. If you've attracted people who bring horror, pain, and betrayal into your life, you need to take a hard look at what you've done to attract that. As Jocko Willink would put it, you need to take extreme ownership over the situation. Or, like Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn did, you need to look at every bad thing that has happened to you and those around you, and figure out what you did to make that happen. And then change. That process was powerful enough to destroy the Soviet Union, and so I promise that it's powerful enough to change you and those around you, to the point where our culture does a 180 and we can all be men and women who live our fullest potential.

I had a wonderful career and NEVER believed it was more important. my children are the most important priority in my life.

Dr Jordan is spot on. As a mum i can tell you that a child changes your whole life and focus.

I had my two kids when i was 30 and 36. Both fully our own choice. I started to work parttime after my first kid was born. Never regret a thing. What i think is that in our western society alot of the young people don"t wish to be an adult with all the responsibilities.

I gave everything I had to my former employer thinking my career was my only purpose. Boy was I wrong. My employer made sure they got their share and had no problem letting me know I was dispensable. After all those years of dedication, I ended up traumatized and financially bankrupt. However, becoming a mom at 39, made me realize their is so much more to life than a 9-5.

Actually I was told growing up that having kids is the most important thing you can do as a woman but I decided on my own that it's just not for me.

True, for most,and the regret that most of them feel is terrible.

What I don’t understand is why in 2023- 2024, the concept of a woman as a human being, having ambition and Thumos (look it up, the concept of ambition and self actualization), is deemed as “lied to” by some other force, when the only force in question has been that individual’s spirit of curiosity and desire to be something/ do something significant in the world, which is only really for that person to decide. That person can still have a family, the only thing society is missing out on is the young, pretty house servant making life easier for all the equally ambitious men.

yep I am one of those women. my hubs is older than i and doesn't want kids, and neither did I until a couple of years ago. too late, now, he had a vasectomy.

@Brandespada

Жыл бұрын

you should listen the beautiful song "nous n'avons pas d'enfant", Aznavour

@lojanta

Жыл бұрын

I've heard it's reversable, maybe you should ask some doctors? If you convinced your husband of course

This is a simplification. I personally follow Jordan Peterson and appreciate his logic. However, women have been lied to for hundreds of years. They’ve been told the only avenue to happiness is marriage and children. And now they’re being offered different options. This is not wrong.

While I agree with Jordan that for a lot of women the natural progression of life is to have a heavy focus on family, there's a pretty big reason we pushed the women need a career message and that is domestic abuse. Prior to women having the opportunity to work they would have no choice but to stay in an abusive relationship. Now we pushed the idea of a career because we don't want women to have to be solely 100% dependent on their husbands. In a time like now when fathers are half-assed men who are barely there for their daughters emotionally let alone financially, it became an absolute necessity for women to know how to make an income.

I'm 28 this year. I too started seeing in my peers the tendency to find a more stable relationship now than before

I found that the pull to have children started for me around 24. I didn't have a partner at that age though. The biggest problem for young women is the lack of decent men who will commit to a woman so that she can marry him and have children. Men in particular extend their youth beyond 40 in a lot of cases. I have seen this with my brothers. A lot of men are responsibility averse.

You’re absolutely right, the most important thing is for women to be the lead character in their own story

@Andr295

Жыл бұрын

That is just narcissistic.

@kirstinhagglund8788

Жыл бұрын

@@Andr295 nope, its our responsibility, troglodyte

@Andr295

Жыл бұрын

@Kirstin Hagglund The lead character in a story is the one that "life" revolves around. Everyone else plays a secondary role and thus is disposable. I like better what Bruce Lee said: "real living is living for others", virago.

@Society_is_braindead

Жыл бұрын

​@@Andr295 you're hurt and it shows

I was told these exact lies and I wasted thousands of dollars on a college degree that I don’t even want anymore. Those thousands of dollars is the money trade-off. Now I’m in my early 30s and I want to be a mother but can’t afford it.

I had my children in my 20s. Well, 3 of them. Was widowed at 30. Working, studying, and caring for 3 small children on my own wasn’t easy. I remarried at 39, and had a child just before I was 40. There’s nothing more important than , more honourable, more challenging, more rewarding than raising children. I’ve spent the last 40 years raising my children . That deserves a medal. 😅 Three of mine are well into their 30’s, none married, ( one divorced)none with children. our world is so out of whack, when it takes 2 wage earners an entire lifetime to pay off a house there’s definitely something wrong.

Sometimes JP is an extremely smart man and other sometimes he is very sexist. There's nothing wrong that women want to achieve personal goals that aren't related to having kids.

@gerax16

Жыл бұрын

Did he make a judgement on women that don’t want to have kids? All I heard was that women were lied to

@ntmn8444

Жыл бұрын

How is he sexist? I’m a woman myself and what he said is that we were lied to. HE IS NOT WRONG!

@hamster4618

Жыл бұрын

@@ntmn8444 I wasn’t lied to, I don’t know any who was lied to. Literally no one I know was told never to have kids. I think he’s lying trying to get women pregnant and dependent at 19. Didn’t work with his daughter though, she got a divorce. While responsible for a child. But unlike many others in that situation she had a rich daddy who gave her a job. And she works for herself now. So I guess she believes the supposed lies people tell women. Had she believed daddy, she wouldn’t have gotten a divorce and we would have never heard of her as her only real questions of the day would have been “will I wear a red sweater, or a green one?” and “what will I cook tonight?”

@asamicat8323

Жыл бұрын

​@@ntmn8444 the way he put it on was ambiguous, what about men having children? They are just out of nature? A woman can obliviously be happy with kids but only a man can express himself with work? After children how a woman should express herself? How can she stand for herself and her rights, passions, needs ecc if she's dependent of someone else power/will? We live for ourselves, no one really provides 100% for us unless ourself, we are our happiness

I know so many 30 year old who had abortions in their 20s. They're so broken they can't get on it

@penultimania4295

Жыл бұрын

sure sure.

@josecano326

Жыл бұрын

@@penultimania4295 its true.. I also know women in this situation

@Madelope

Жыл бұрын

Sweetie what 😂 they can just make a new one 😂

@josecano326

Жыл бұрын

@@Madelope you do know that abortions have severe effects on fertility, right?

@Society_is_braindead

Жыл бұрын

What the hell are you talking about? And I know a lot of women who have kids and regret it and are utterly unhappy. My abortion was the best thing ever to happen to me. I wouldn't be making the money I'm making now, I wouldn't be going on vacations, I wouldn't be hanging out with my friends whenever I wish or hike and climb. My life is so full I can't imagine having a child honestly and my partner agrees as well. I was lucky to find a man who doesn't want to start a family

I had two kids at 22. Had a tubal due to complications. Wish I could have had more my children are everything to me.

True with my daughters

I would not put this on women. I also think it applies to men that there are things that are more important than a career

@sarahwagland1559

Жыл бұрын

Yes, men face pressures too. Everything is about money. We don't teach the value of family and the riches it brings.

Go back to a traditional lifestyle America. everyone will be happy 😊

That’s me. That’s really me right now

I am in my sixties, and I actually experienced the early stages of this change in our culture, when I married at 18 and had an unplanned baby at 19. I never regretted having my children, even though it was a very difficult situation. I especially struggled with the issue of being there for them vs prioritizing college. My high school friends went on to school and I was viewed as a 'disappointment'. More than once, remarks were made how I'd had 'so much potential'. The worst remarks, though, were when my in-laws assumed that my Christian parents had discouraged me from pursuing higher education. Nothing could have been further from the truth. It was all my own choices, some foolish, some not. But I never, ever regretted having my children.

there's not enough MEN! REAL MEN! not a feminist loving man, a real man

@deepblack2193

Жыл бұрын

Feminism just means equal rights for women that’s all agreeing with that doesn’t make a man not a man

@Jezidka

Жыл бұрын

@@deepblack2193 That's what it used to mean, but in this day in age it means women can act like tyrants and verbally abuse men.

@alhfgsp

Жыл бұрын

You're so insecure that you think feminism in 2023 (aka people mad on Twitter) is a threat to "real men". 😂 Grow up, buttercup!

How are you going to support a child if you don't jave a career? With divorce rates at 50%, you better have a good job and make your money in case your other half fails you. If I had a child, I would also emphasize how important it is to be INDEPENDENT.

THIS IS SO TRUE i have been thinking about all this as a professional woman, I had come to the realization that you can have it all but not all at the same time. I have made many sacrifices and have paid for them dearly, it is most important to fulfill your life as a woman and when you have children to pit them FIRST, very tricky juggling act and believe me no one comes out of this without major sacrifices. I am all for female empowerment but this is more like female slavery and subjugation, when you go through it yoh are led with this mentality and when you realize your needs it is too late !

This is true along with quite a few other reasons as well. Also, this isn’t the only reason someone wouldn’t have a child by 30. My partner is 31 and we want children (will do it soon once our circumstances are ready). She hasn’t not had kids because of some psychological issue - she just respects what it is to bring a child in this world and wasn’t with the right person or setting to do it (genuinely so. Would have turned out badly if she did differently). Anyways. I’m very glad she hasn’t had children when she wasn’t ready so we can do it right together

I keep telling young women about their eggs being scarce by late 30s. Most aren't aware.

@penultimania4295

Жыл бұрын

pretty sure most are aware. Its just none of your business.

@garret8787

Жыл бұрын

@@penultimania4295 Honest question. Please do not get mad. But why do women always make those kinds of comments? Is it a defense reaction? Is it just a power reaction because you feel justified to tell someone not to think and share their thoughts? This is an honest question. I’m just surprised that there is always such a reaction like this that tends to only be applied to sensitive topics that affect women. ‘Tammy’ (from the comment above) might be an older women who has lived and chased a career past her youth. If she realizes in her later years that life gets lonely, boring and is overwhelmed with regret for not doing what every one of her ancestral mothers did before her (have kids)…. It just seems like practical advice to share with someone she cares about

@penultimania4295

Жыл бұрын

@@garret8787 Why? Because its none of your business what women do with their eggs. The real question is, why do you have this sick interest in it. If Tammy has regrets, that's Tammy's problem and she can touch grass. Get your dirty hands off of other women's ovaries. Why you ask? Everyone seems to think they have the right to our bodies. I don't see these discussions being had about men's bodies, so how on earth could you relate? I can't fathom how one can think this is in any way shape or form appropriate. Same with abortion.

@josecano326

Жыл бұрын

@@penultimania4295 it actually is. If there are no more young people, society collapses so yeah, it is our business

@penultimania4295

Жыл бұрын

@@josecano326 the society is not my problem. Or are you going to go full nazi on women?

The lies start when they are children that they should wait for Prince Charming to sweep them up.

You're absolutely right. That's all I heard growing up . I had children at a young age and was shamed for it.

I'm so tired of society telling women true happiness can be found in being a mother. Like my only purpose as a woman is to bear another child in a world where's there's now Covid, econmic crisis, deteriorating educational system.

Dear ladies, you are not obligated to have children. That is your choice, and your partners choice. There are many reasons to not have children, and there many reason to have children. Do not let anyone tell you what you have to do. It is your life, your body, your choice. Not anyone else’s. Either choice is up to you and your partners. Raising a human being is a big deal. We shouldn’t be forcing people into such a role if they are not ready for it. Some people may not be mentally stable, or financially stable. Life is not simple. It is very fickle, with a lot of grey areas.

@WhisperedShadow123

Жыл бұрын

100% truth

For the first time in decades you cant safely, key word here, raise a family with the the over inflation that's stomped the American people since the 2000s Heck folks earning 55-60k salary have a hard time.just finding a good apartment for themselves, that's not including adding an extra bedroom or two, paying for more food, retirement, school... ECT... In the 90s(using 95 as the start point here) the nation wide average for rent of house/condo/apartment was $500... It's now almost $1400, yes tripled. Average income hasn't even doubled... We're effective paying twice as much with income increase included for the same, but now much older, apartments and homes. Now take this effectively paying double and match it to everything else needed... And you see pretty quick why folks aren't willing to put themselves and another life in hardship cause the generations before us have SHIT standards of how to stabilize an economy.

@aplikacijaaplikacija798

Жыл бұрын

Moving to a less expensive part of the country might do the trick.

A huge part of this too is finances. My partner and I would love to have children but we live in Canada and even though we both make well above Min wage, after taxes and the high cost of living there is a zero percent chance we can afford to have a child. If we did, we could get by okay but we will never have a house and never be able to afford to retire. It feels like being in between a rock and a hard place. Most of my peers are in the same boat, desperately wanting a family but feeling like it’s completely unattainable

Some of us feared marriage and kids coming from deprivation and abuse, recognize we are products of dysfunctional environments and so we choose to prioritize self sufficiency b/c we aren’t sure we could sustain a marriage or raise kids.

Some areas of the USA are getting so old and I know many of them are parents, but many aren't parents and things are dying and disintegrating before our eyes. There literally aren't enough younger people to do everything required for the retired folks. And end of life care costs hundreds of billions, maybe a trillion every year or 2

Well men are partly to blame. I found a woman who wanted to have kids at 20, dated, married, and that's what we did. 2nd one on the way.

Ok, but a human brain is fully develep at 27yrs, so isnt better try to be a mother arround that age? (Srry for the mistakes, English is my second language)

I didn't choose to be part of that statistic. I was pregnant several times, and never got to meet any of those babies.

I have lived this in my career Counselling people and having worked with people for over 38 years!The harsh reality is that individuals then find this out almost too late!Then the real problems start!Some would be lucky enough to adjust their path and gave a child and a balanced family.Without fail, those choosing their career only get hit very hard after that last day they walk out from their Careers and into retirement.Those you worked with will more than likely be in your lives a year down the road.Real life does not care what you did for a living.People in general are not prepared for this.. then comes the shock....Now you realise,too late,that your life is not full,balanced ad you thought and you are a very sad,lonely person!

@user-yj6bx7md5l

Жыл бұрын

I stayed at a hospital for months with critical cancer patients. Most women with children and husband were surprisingly alone in such a dire situation. Creating a family doesn’t guarantee they will look after you when you most need them. It’s usually the women who give care and not receive. No need to scare people they will be lonely and miserable for being childfree. Those female cancer patients I saw who all had families didn’t seem any better. Actually lonelier after all their efforts invested in their families with no return.

Women need stable, mature, loving and non-abusive men to have children with. I applaud women for enjoying their life and even freezing their eggs if they haven’t found the right man to be with. We are far more than just breeders and more than just statistics. Sick of Peterson’s egotistical opinion of women. His wife must be an insane robot.

I think one of the major cause is that this world and how it works has become much more challenging, that the thought of bringing another human being into this world can be so terrifying. It's a lot easier for people to buy house, get good jobs, now it's different. When people don't feel safe, they will focus on their survival, not bringing a new life into this world.

I finished my BA in 1994, got married and had two children. I was always treated as a failure by family and socially. I felt like the goal posts were changed and recieved no support and little kindness from relatives.

It’s a hot topic. I don’t know what I would tell my daughter in a climate like this.

@angrynapolean3820

Жыл бұрын

You could tell her there's more to life than being a cog in a corporation

@sgracem2863

Жыл бұрын

Show her that you genuinely value femininity and why she should too. People want to be valued. If you leave it to society she will only be taught that chasing masculine traits, goals, accomplishments and desires is the only acceptable/praiseworthy path.

@mariuwu789

Жыл бұрын

As an (almost) adult in her late teens, I'd say to you to show to her all the options that she can choose. I've had a hard time wrapping my head about how people can have different pathways and still be happy and at peace with their own choices. So In the overall, be patient, show your point and what worked out for YOU, but don't forget to reassure her that she can have another point of view and this is perfectly fine, as long as she can manage her happiness. And, most important, that she can postpone some things too, there's no need to do everything at the same time.

Ironic how two males are speaking about what young women should be doing, ie breeding before their 30's and wasting their lives. What about living their lives how THEY want, NOT how some old bitter male demands. Young women are lied to by being told to breed and dress like tarts and be perfect at everything. We are NEVER told that we are sufficient. We are told that we are too hairy, too fat, blah blah blah. Sick of hearing about what old men expect. Women never tell men these nasty things. Thats why men are always desperate to have a girlfriend and women are sick of mens selfish one sided whining and laziness.

@aplikacijaaplikacija798

Жыл бұрын

I guess you are a young woman if you speak like this. Jordan Peterson speaks from experience from years of working as a clinical psychologist. You should respect that and truly think about what he says. You might end up feeling you wasted your life otherwise. You can have a job AND raise a family. He just says you shouldn't put all your efforts into a career.

@thespanishcartel957

Жыл бұрын

Because statistically, women who don’t have children by 40 end up regretting it, so if you want to not have children, that’s fine, that’s your choice, he believes in the freedom of choice, but it’s merely just a suggestion. You don’t have to have kids, but you should probably think about what you want, and not what society wants. Is what you believe really what you believe or is it what society believes? Only you can know what the answer to that question is, no one else.

@fuge269

Жыл бұрын

You sound like a legal liability that no man would ever take a risk on

100% agree, everyone keeps going against the natural human cycle. I can a test to this personally

I'm childless at 34. It sounds so chilling to me. As much as I wanted a child it didn't work out earlier than now. I was in a very dangerous relationship. And I escaped. It set me many years behind. I'm only ready now. Lucky for me I feel very fertile. But I wish things could have been different.

Maybe they don't want kids relax

This man can talk some bullsh*t. JP is up there in age to remembered when women were thought to stay at home and not pursuit a career. In many part of the world, that lie is still being told to young women.

@aplikacijaaplikacija798

Жыл бұрын

You can have a decent job AND have kids. You just shouldn't put all your efforts into a career and neglect having a family, because in the end, you will probably regret it.

Mad respect to Peterson, but career doesn't always mean an office job. It can also mean entrepreneurship. It can also mean working on your life-long passion. And a relationship can absolutely be woven into that life. You can focus on reaching your potential & contributing to this world + having a family. Flow.

Definitely LIES I was a mom @19 and although it WAS hard so happy I had him young and I have a good career that I worked up to

Wonder how all the laid off women in Big Tech feel right now. A career does not hug you like having a family does.

Being able to financially independent by yourself is the most important regardless if you are a man or woman. For the society what Peterson is saying is good and true but for the individual it is a lie.