i don’t understand why i’m like this. why do i have such severe social anxiety? why can’t i be normal😭 why do i have to look these videos up? why do i have to study and practice things that normal people can do? update: i’m still the same… probably worse than ever.

@BADBOYHIGHLIGHTS

Жыл бұрын

Same 😢

@f1skunkde4

Жыл бұрын

:(

@nanachan4050

Жыл бұрын

Same ...me too

@Elr2000

Жыл бұрын

Same, I always feel like there's us people with social anxiety and then there's them everyone else that doesn't have social anxiety . I often think that my life would be so much easier if I could do the things they can do, like having a normal conversation with a stranger. I know it's not really that simple and black and white and that there are a lot of people who struggle with a lot of different issues. But sometimes it sure does feel like it's you against a whole lot of "normal" people that can't understand why you are acting like this

@generalspoon4683

Жыл бұрын

There's no such thing as normal people

Every time I have to be in a social situation, I start to feel inside my body like I am in danger, it's like I dont know what to say, even when I try to look in people's eye during conversations it fails and I wind up looking down in a weird way, I'm so frustrated.

@real_world_stuff

2 жыл бұрын

I have same problem

@SkinnyRambo4

2 жыл бұрын

That’s the same with me it’s annoying 😑😩

@mohamedismail6273

Жыл бұрын

Actually you might have terrible childhood that why i start doing this Just remember one point Life is too short to care about what others think Also don't give your love to someone who didn't ask and appreciate your love . Also don't feel shy to express your love for someone We preassume that everyone in this world is going to hate us because of feeling rejected when we are young

@karthiks602

Жыл бұрын

@@real_world_stuff just focus on one eye

@LikeableAden

Жыл бұрын

Same feeling as you

It’s especially complicated if you’re not attractive. Let’s be honest. Both judgement from others and personal insecurity are simultaneously even more intense. My issues with eye contact stem from a lifetime of severe cystic acne.

@cjames7958

2 жыл бұрын

Same man, I had severe cystic acne for 10 years on and off. The final thing that "cured" it was genuinely accepting it and understanding it'll go away when you stop paying it attention. if you're still suffering with it, you should have a look at German New Medicine for Acne, its all about showing how the brain tells your body to create acne when you have decided it's important. Literally stopped getting acne in 2 weeks and has not come back since and it's been 3 years, apart from the odd spot that everyone else would get as it's a natural process that happens sometimes in the body.

@khaartoumletstalk9037

Жыл бұрын

Have you tried Duac cream? Seems extraordinary stuff from the Dr. Hope it helps. K ; )

@FallKingPepe

5 ай бұрын

Im good looking, but i cant get a woman to save my life. My awkwardness, my lack of eye contact, i would say its more disappointing to be good looking and still invisible

It also helps to practice relaxing your eyelids some in order to feel less anxious. It’s hard to be comfortable when your eyes are popping out their sockets

@attwan8059

10 ай бұрын

LMAO this is me when I look at someone for too long. I feel like my eyes open up larger the longer I look 😅😂😂

My problem is I don’t know how to take breaks looking away when someone is talking to me. I can do it when I’m talking though

@stephaniemoreno5043

2 жыл бұрын

Same !

I never had these problems.. when I was a kid i was so confident i wasn’t scared anyone and I could talk to anyone be it kids of my age or elders from any profession in fact I was a chatter box..😅 I was normal till I was 20 Now I’m 25 and suffering from this problem since 3 years I don’t when and how this happened but all of a sudden one day I just couldn’t talk to anyone I was like where to look? Left eye or right eye or maybe bridge of the nose etc...a lot of thought went into it i was scared I stopped going to family functions stop meeting people the situation was so worse that if someone knocked on my door I couldn’t look at their faces I was acting weird I couldn’t purchase groceries I was like maybe I should wear goggles or something But then I realised these things happen when we reach a certain stage in life.. and somethings are just not in our control like anxiety, panic attack depression and fear of being judged but we should not spend time overthinking about these things instead we should learn and train ourselves to deal with such problems so what I learnt is as humans our focus point is always one we cannot look 2 things at the same time for example A and B now if I’m looking at A and I want to look at B I have to shift my attention to see what B looks like.. so that applies in eye too..nobody can look at both the eyes at the same time we can only concentrate on one eye at a time and eyes are something that really build some sort of connection so when person is talking avoid looking at their cheeks, nose, forehead, lips etc just look at one eye and try to maintain eye contact as long as you can I hope this helps

@sidharthareddy3812

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you

@sawravnath7428

2 жыл бұрын

Hey, thank you for sharing your history. I wanna know, how does you feeling now? Is it totally cureable?

@ragava8917

2 жыл бұрын

I also have this prblm🤥🤥

@humanbeing140

2 жыл бұрын

@@sawravnath7428 Yes it is but only if are willing to change and don’t think of it like it’s a disease. It’s just lack of confidence and self doubt

@humanbeing140

2 жыл бұрын

@@ragava8917 God bless you always my friend and believe me there’s no problem with you.. you are the best thing that has ever happened to your parents and to this world.. keep smiling and inspiring

I totally understand the feeling when you look at the floor (in my case looking at the sky) till the time I overcame my fear of making a direct eye contact 😊

Oh my God, I feel like you just explained my whole life story in just 1 video 😭 Jesus, help me! I will overcome all my fears and anxieties 🥳

I hate that people are going through this, myself included

Maybe if I wore glasses it would be easier. I feel naked when people look into my eyes.

@letsgoCX

2 жыл бұрын

For a person who wears glasses all the time, I feel confident when I remove my glasses and feel less stressed since I can't see well. When I'm wearing glasses I feel naked and as if everyone is looking at me

@khaartoumletstalk9037

Жыл бұрын

Dollar store cheap reading glasses in the strongest magnification +3 +4 are interesting help for eye contact. They look nice. They blur out eye contact so that we can speak in a relaxed way. Be careful walking round in them for tripping. They work a dream in the office situation ; )

With me, I’m just thinking my gaze is either too intimidating or makes the other person think I’m trying to be seductive. I just can’t get away from that feeling.

from my experience , its simple as relaxation and tension. during eye contact and conversation , simply be aware of your vision, is it narrow like a tunnel vision? then u wanna soften it and have a wider gaze. eyelids and muscles around the eyes tensed? relax them. muscles around the body stiff ? relax them. check breath--shallow breath? breathe deep. when all of your body and its senses are relaxed it doesnt matter what the other person is saying or doing, u will be ready to face the situation.

Well if eye contact is this important, no wonder people on the spectrum have so many problems.

You’re so informative, and have such a warm personality. Thank you for your help

ive watched like 10 videos and this is the most helpful one :D

Thank you for making this video, I'm gonna take these steps and improve my eye contact with people. I know its going to feel weird but at less i will be able to look at my family to show them that i love them and want them to know that I'm listening, coworkers with respect and to be able to change what I am today (TY)

I don’t know if this is relatable, but I avoid looking people in the eyes because I can’t get the thought out of my head that I’m acting aggressive. That I’m making them uncomfortable by being too interested. That I’m showing fear by caring about what they focus on with their gaze, and that it’s insulting for me to be afraid. It’s probably gonna take a while to destroy this belief with new, more accurate beliefs. But if I was able to realize somethings wrong, I think I can fix it if I keep working on it. You might be able to, too.

I thought that you're constantly supposed to look into people's eye during a conversation. Yay that means i don't have social anxiety

This was a really helpful video 💕 thank you! Could you do a more in depth video on eye contact as the 'talker' and the 'listener'. I watched another social anxiety eye contact video and they said as the 'listener' you should maintain eye contact to show you're listening. But he didn't provide any tips or ways to do this easier for someone who is socially anxious x

Amen to all you said 🙏🏽

Thank You! This was really useful!

I don’t know if it’s because of the acid I took back when I was younger but I feel like it messed me up I used to be able to keep eye contact and now I’m just filled up with this anxiety I feel low and scared to even talk to people it’s wierd but idk

@real_world_stuff

2 жыл бұрын

I have same problem

@LawrenceAngeleMusic

2 жыл бұрын

Same

@f1skunkde4

Жыл бұрын

I have the same problem too

Took the words right out of my mouth :(

Wow this is deep

This is really helpful.

thank you so much ma'am :(( ❤

Thank you ❤

Thank you🙂

THANK YOU 👍👍👍❤

Thank you for a great definition, that for social anxiety it is a fear of being exposed. This lets me know my eye contact problems are from autism now, not the social anxiety I had before, since I am fearful of too much information instead of revealing information. Also, I did not know that brief eye contact with everyone at first sight was considered important. I didn't think if I wasn't talking to someone or they aren't talking to me, that strangers might want to be acknowledged too. (Really why do they want social approval for just existing, from every random stranger in the environment? Everyone knows we each exist, so why must we be mutually seen to prove this?) I thought eye contact with strangers was a mistake instead of having a purpose. So for them they see it as a chance to judge your worth themselves and it is a courtesy to let them do this. And if you deny them this opportunity, they dislike you already because you've denied them the choice to dislike you.

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

I know how you feel! A lot of these social "rules" about eye contact aren't usually consciously done. Some kids tend to pick it up easy and for some of us, it doesn't come naturally at all. Glad you found the video helpful, Bertha.

I have social phobia thats why very fear of eye contact But i will try if that help

THank u so much

Omg I remember one time I was about to talk to a teacher and a girl started talking to me and asked if I was blind because I looked around instead of eye contact 😭☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

I wanted to ask maam when i talk with my age fellows or my juniors i am comfortable but when i take lectures i cant able to look in professors eyes ...what happen is i stop blinking.....its so awkward and my face also look weired and i want to run away from class....and same happens with elders

To work 1 on 1 with me so I can give you the guidance to help you overcome your social anxiety ASAP, feel free to book a strategy call with me here: www.ashajacob.com/chatwithasha

@starsiap.1731

Жыл бұрын

How much is it after the free call? Thank you

It's been rough trying to give people eye contact, my brain isn't wired to socialize and I quake in fear when I do this. I realize no one is out to hurt me or anything and I do want to give respect by giving eye contact to others when they are talking.

@AshaJacob

Жыл бұрын

You're wonderful for putting in the effort to work on this. I totally get how hard it can be - please don't stop. You'll be surprised at how much easier it gets with time.

Tonight I had to use sunglasses to talk with my friend

@khaartoumletstalk9037

Жыл бұрын

An interesting tip - Dollar store reading glasses with nice frames - the strongest ones you can get - 3+ or 4+ worn in social situations blur out eye contact. It is relaxing to wear them as people look blurry and are easy to talk to. Be careful not to wear on stairs etc. K ; )

@Matheus-mr4tl

Ай бұрын

Today, I'm way more confident to talk with people looking in their eyes. I am almost "cured", look in someone's eye is no longer a problem, but some people I still feeling uncomfortable looking too long in the eyes. I spent years without looking people in the eyes, and even my mom it was a problem. Thank God it flew away.

Respect with this video. I’m in a similar boat. But the beginning of the video is a terrible way to frame the issue. Most people don’t care enough to be purposely be mean, rude and take advantage of you for having bad eye contact/social anxiety . Some are absolutely. But most people not really. It feels that way because 1. you know your issues to a better extent than most people. 2. The inherent negativity bias we all have. If you see a few people being mean to you, even if it happens often, that tends to get overlooked compared to the many more people who are at the very least indifferent to your insecurities.

When someone sit face to face in front of me, like group study, i feel so anxious for eye contact, i used to look repeatedly them weather he looks me or not, and when get eye contact, its so weird feeling. And i try to avoid repeated eye contact, i think, what he will think if i keep staring and eye contact repeatedly without talking. It massively disturbing my life. Can someone help me to solve this problem..

@OFFENDYOU365

Жыл бұрын

I also kinda suffer but hey this is no the end of the world try to not think about it And remember you always feel like the person is gonna say why is he/she staring at me or why does he/she look do weird but no they don't feel like that it's your brain trying to trick you

@sawravchandra5411

Жыл бұрын

@@OFFENDYOU365 Thanks friend for your helpful information. Actually, I am being unable to get out from excessive self-consciousness. My brain always thinks this 24/7 and when I talk to someone and he/she looks at me, I feel he/she highly monitors me, and every step I give deliberately and think about it. I want to know from you friend, Is it curable and how do you feel now?

@OFFENDYOU365

Жыл бұрын

@@sawravchandra5411 hey It's curable I know alot of people that had this problem My brain also thinking about this 24/7 but I try to ignore it if you feel uncomfortable to look someone in the eye it's okay just look once and try ur best to focus on the conversation when your talking to someone don't panick just try to focus When I use to talk to people I feel like they are scared of me and I just look away but remember your brain is tricking you they are not scared of you When you talk to someone don't stare right In to their eyes try to brake the eye contact, look for 5 sec and remove your face then look back Remember Is not the end of the world don't stress my friend My brother had this for 4 years and he's not struggling anymore Can I know how long you've been struggling with this? When 2 person are talking you should sit and watch how they make eye contact and learn from them that's what I use to do I watch people when they talk You can do it 😌❤

@sawravchandra5411

Жыл бұрын

@@OFFENDYOU365 Yes, bro i always look when people make conversation, i try to learn from them and apply in my conversation. And conversation with people is getting easier day by day, But my biggest problem is when someone in front of me and we are not talking each other but getting eye contact repeatedly like at bus, office where people sit closely in front of each other, that time my brain count every eye contact and other person facial expression, it totally awkward and fearful. I think I should not eye contact repeatedly more than one times. If i do it i feel fearful feeling in my heart. I am suffering this problem for 1.5 years. My mind always think about it........

@OFFENDYOU365

Жыл бұрын

@@sawravchandra5411 oh it's okay You can beat this 😊

- glance at forehead of people in public (done) - quickly glance at the eyes of people who walk past you (2,4,8 work up) - quickly glance in middle of eyebrows of people, then work on glancing in their eyes, looking away etc.

well i have been making eye contact with you on this video but my mind keeping telling that you're irresistible , which means i have to work on that emotion of resisting

I understand that eye contact is very important but I seem to want to watch a person's mouth because that is what is talking. People don't watch my mouth when I talk . They watch my eyes and that makes me uncomfortable. I believe that people watch the mouth of a person speaking on TV and not their eyes. That makes sense because the mouth is doing the talking, In person it seems to be very different.

Are you from South Africa

I think if people are disrespecting someone just because they aren’t looking at them says more about the person who is disrespectful. It is ridiculous to think of someone isn’t looking up that gives people an excuse to look down on the person and be rude. It is obviously good for the socially anxious to overcome there fears but it is the other persons fault if they are been disrespectful of someone who has anxiety

@AshaJacob

10 ай бұрын

I totally get here you're coming from. But you have to remember that these negative reactions people give aren't conscious actions. It's instinctive. People instinctively feel uncomfortable with those who don't make eye contact because it can come off as rude or like you're trying to hide something. A lot of times their actions are just a response to feeling disrespected first! I remember how many people thought I was extremely rude or shady when my social anxiety was at its worst. It felt awful and I wish people had more compassion and understanding. But now that I've overcome my anxiety, I can see that it's not so black and white. If people have never struggled with social anxiety, my actions can totally be misconstrued as rude and cold. Point I'm trying to make is that at the end of the day, don't let the actions of others make you hateful towards them and come up with black and white beliefs like I used to do. I've been there and it only makes the anxiety worse. It makes you see the worst in people. Remember it most likely it comes from a lack of understanding, and that's ok! Just work on yourself and you'll find yourself in a better place, surrounded by people who understand.

6:05 - summary

eye contact makes my head shake. unless it’s family. anyone else had this problem or know how to fix it?

Simplest way of eye contact Just slide ur eyes right looking at someones face so u can easily see their whole face

It physically hurts to maintain eyecontact for me 😢

6:07 the steps

You speak to hindi

Thank you🙂