I chose a childfree lifestyle in my 20's. Got married at 36 to a like-minded man. Never regretted for a moment my decision. I am 68 years old, healthy, active, lots of hobbies, a comfortable ( not extravagant ) lifestyle. I never really thought of the financial side...I just did not want the responsibility. I travelled quite a bit and enjoyed my nieces & nephews but .... No thanks to having kids of my own. As for being alone....The loneliest people I know are parents whose children never visit or call them. I am rather introverted so being alone suits me. Give me a pile of books to read, a big garden to tend and my paints and easel.....I am happy. My friends are few but very close to me. Life is good.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Ahh thank you for posting your experiences! I love hearing from those who have been childfree before us still THRIVING! Your words are so true and I can relate as a fellow introvert. I view time alone as an art in some form if that makes sense. Its beautiful to enjoy your own company!

@edenc1984

7 ай бұрын

Thank you for your comment! I’m almost 40 and still feel like an outcast by my peers because I don’t have kids but my nieces and nephews have been amazing and I love my solitude.

I am 34 and many people seriously believe that life ends at 30. 😢

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

That's so sad! 😞 There is so much to enjoy!

@ariesaraya1822

Жыл бұрын

It's because it sort of does for ppl w/ kids. Their old life dies and a new one is reborn. For childfree ppl however our 30s, 40s, 50s etc is just an extension of our life in our 20s, just with more money and stability.

@Duncman92

Жыл бұрын

I’m 30 and my life’s just getting started!

I agree with you. I love alone time and crave it. There’s something very refreshing about being comfortable in spending time with yourself.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

I love the word choice of crave; it's so accurate! I think it's important for our mental health as well just to have that downtime alone doing something you enjoy!

@Pleebian94

4 ай бұрын

​@@diaryofthechildfree You two should do a collab series. Maybe get other childfree women on, would love to hear other perspectives. Subbed to both your channels.

I find it SO strange that people are so upset about others choosing not to have children. Like kids are a HUGE responsibility. We’re literally bringing in a living breathing thinking tiny human into the world that we have to be responsible for , for the next 18+ years. And they think it’s “selfish” to not want children? We shouldn’t be having kids to just have kids! And because that’s “what we’re meant to do”! What kind of life would it be for a child to grow up knowing mommy never wanted them? I’m a woman who doesn’t want kids because I know it’s just not for me, and I don’t think I’d make a good mom. I’m not going to have kids just for the sake of it. And to me that seems far from selfish, actually.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Right!? It’s laughable because people should only have kids if they know they will make a good parent by being there for them and providing for them 110% of the time. If someone doesn’t see themselves being able to do that then it should be a good thing they won’t cause harm to another life. It’s so selfish to bring a child into the world without being able to provide for them in necessary ways that can later cause so much trauma later on! It’s so much more responsible to know and understand that you wouldn’t be fit for that “job” and saying “no, I’m not going to cause harm like that to another person.”

@JuliaShalomJordan

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely agree. My father didn’t want me and I think my mom kept having kids because she was lonely. It wasn’t a good feeling growing up.🫣🥳

@staciedennison783

5 ай бұрын

People who have kids don’t really think about it completely. It’s like they’re on automatic.

If you don't have children, you will have a whole lot more money and when you're a senior, you will have the funds to be able to afford to move into a wonderful senior's place with all the amenities. They have nurses, hair dressing salons, outings, entertainment, activities, and meals are provided in beautiful dining rooms. My aunt was in a place like that because she could afford it.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

YES! 🙌 You see the elderly THRIVE for the most part in those spaces too! they really think of it all and it's easy to make friends for them as well!

@Aniexo_

Жыл бұрын

Oh wow! That’s definitely a goal! And you’ll meet other people, and make friends with their kids too! ❤

Also, they forget kids are entire human beings with their own thoughts, opinions and desires for how their lives will be. Not a dog you "keep around" for company. A literal sign of success as a parent is when your kids go off and have lives of their own, not keep you company because you're not confident enough to seek what fulfills you

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Exactly! I think so many expect them to fit perfectly to the molds they have expected and then lose it when that doesn’t happen or when sh*t hits the fan! It’s seen too often as well where parents almost latch onto their kids as an emotional clutch.

Great video. I have an Aunt who’s child free, has 1 fur baby, and she will definitely will not be alone. My siblings and I are on her just like we are with our parents. 😂 and she complains ( we don’t care) we love her and we will always take great care of her just like she did for us when we were younger. 😊 and she celebrates Mother’s Day every year, because mother figures come in a lot of different packages. ❤❤

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Childfree aunts all the way! Before my aunt adopted kids she definitely was the cool aunt always buying the snacks and toys we wanted! 😂 They really truly do though and each serve an important role with different aspects!

I’m almost 47. Child free with my two dogs. A lot of women hate me because I’m told I look 30 and my body is tight and right. Jealousy is the cause of the hate.

I'm teacher who lives in a country were education is everything. Parents here have unrealistic expectations for their kids to achieve. You can see that the kids lives revolve around achieving their parents expectations to be the best at everything. Many of the kids I teach don't even the time to play. When I ask my students whom are only like 5 years old what they d for the weekend, they respond; I don't have time I'm very busy I have tuition class the whole day Sunday and Saturdays". So I truly see the dark side of parenting. I think this is one of the greatest reasons I have decided to be childfree.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Oh goodness, I feel so bad for those children. While education is important, kids also need to be kids. In some aspect I see that here in the USA as well, education isn't that great but many parents throw their kids into as many extra curricular as they can. The kids have no free time and get burnt out. There is so much weird pressure in the realm of parenthood to have your kid be the next big something!

On NYE I ended up (unfortunately) in a conversation with someone who wasn’t even a family member asking me if I wanted kids. I said no. They replied with “Well I guess you can hang out with us on Christmas.” (Implying that Christmas is only for people with kids??) And I came back with, “Yeah or I could hang out with my OWN family like I do every year.” Please tell me why she got offended. Like what’s the thought process?? Just because I don’t reproduce, the entire rest of my family (mom, dad, aunts, uncles, cousins, sisters, nephew, my bf’s family, etc etc etc) are all going to evaporate or what??🤦🏼‍♀️

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Omg some people literally just don't think at all! Like you're someones kids, niece, and grandchild. I think they want to spend time with you haha! Apparently they don't can't as family in their eyes. 😂

Just discovered your channel and subscribed. I’m 26m and gifted myself a vasectomy for xmas 2yrs ago, probably the best decision I ever made. People always say I’m selfish for not having children. Well my response is always “imagine procreating a child and relying on said child as retirement plan, isn’t that selfish? What you reckon” Leaves them stuttering every time Childfree is the way to go!

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for following along! What a great Christmas gift to yourself! 👏 Haha, it's always brilliant when you leave them speechless! We are from selfish! If anything the people who want children and create new lives are selfish because there are plenty of children in foster care! Childfree for life! 🙌

I'm an antinatalist and I thought I'd adopt in the future, but I'm leaning towards being childfree forever. Love everything you said. People have children for such selfish and egoic reasons.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much! I'm sure adopting can be rewarding but also challenging in some ways! It's true! People thinking they are hero's for reproducing but everything stems down to "I want". They're are plenty of children seeking homes in foster care but it all comes down to other's wanting their own.

Some of my mothers friends are quite surprised how old I am when I tell them my age because they say I look younger I'm 32 by the way

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

The secret is no children, extra income for skincare, and also plenty of water and sunscreen of course! 😆

I believe being alone, the fear of it, comes from the books and movies I watch as and read. I'm 56 and my mom died alone at 77, I visited her whenever I could. She was widowed after my dad passed away in 1999. She loved being alone. You don't want to be totally isolated but I am far from lonely.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Such great words! Exactly! Never needing to be completely isolated 24/7 but not fearing the times when you're in your own company! My great grandma was similar to you mom! She was widowed and lived alone with her dog. My family visited as well when they good but she spent her time in her gardens and yard until her last days.

@darlenegoodwin

Жыл бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree God bless your great grandma

@sunbox4700

Жыл бұрын

Once you have a child, you are never truly alone, because your child is always in your heart...no matter where you are.

@kh7947

Жыл бұрын

​@@diaryofthechildfree was she in elder care homes?? Or lived in her own home till her last breath???

YES, THE AGE THING!!! I'm a high school teacher (43). Been that since age 21. Whenever I run in to past students from back then, I often get, "Mr. Bachatero (not my real name lol), aside from the grey hairs, u don't look like u've aged a bit. U still look pike ur 20 yr old self."

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Always such a good compliment! It’s all in the self care and the wellness! 👏👏👏 Stress can do a number on our bodies.

I’m 47 and my husband is 60. Having kids is a huge responsibility. I adore kids but I’m the oldest of 5 and know how much work it takes…since I was a child I knew I would never give birth. Life was chaotic and overwhelming because my parents had kids they couldn’t afford and my father didn’t want. So many people advised me to ‘accidentally’ get pregnant…assuming my husband was the one who didn’t want kids. I am not repeating the cycle. I’m accepting my role as the cool aunt. That’s an important role and I think it’s twisted how people don’t acknowledge that. The world doesn’t need more kids. It needs intentional parents who can afford to care for them…and not just physically but be mentally and spiritually responsible as well. Parenthood is a BIG deal.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Such a huge responsibility; and that of one not everyone wants to take on! We have enough to deal with as it is! Do people realize how toxic and manipulative it is to advise someone to “accidentally” get pregnant…that creates so much chaos, frustration, emotion etc! People don’t realize how important it is to have childfree people in the world! Before my aunt adopted her children, we loved every moment we had with her! It was a different bond compared to the one shared with parents! Omg that needs to be printed on billboards, t-shirts and screamed from rooftops! 👏👏👏

@JuliaShalomJordan

Жыл бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree I so appreciate you and what you are doing. It’s helping people process the mind screw the world does on us.💞

@kh7947

Жыл бұрын

​​@@JuliaShalomJordani have 4 siblings.. my story is somewhat same as yours... By the way you said you are oldest of 5.... Whats your age difference among siblings... Mine are 10,8,5,3 years younger..

I'm 35 now, just had my birthday like a week ago. People think I look like a teenager. 😂👌👍

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

That’s a good feeling right there! 35 going on 18! 🤣

For years, I worked at a nursing home on weekends as a receptionist. There were a few visitors but the vast majority of the residents received no visits from their families. I guess they had better things to do than sit with their elderly parents.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

That has to be so sad to see! I get why front desk knows frequent visitors by name…because there aren’t many!

I can definitely relate to looking younger than my age. I know parents my age that look 10 years older due to parenting. I love self care and try to eat healthy to prevent aging. Love your videos!

@EadsB7002

Жыл бұрын

same! i cannot imagine living so stressed out all of the time. it is soooooo tough nowadays. I watch my beautiful sister who is 4 years younger than me ....but looks probably 5 years older now..3 kids under the age of 10. it is nonstop!

@ChildfreeLT

Жыл бұрын

@UCF1JyHt9w_6LHXIL87LLiNQ Why are moms like you on a Childfree Channel?

@ojyochan

Жыл бұрын

Eh, if you actually look younger, it is probably for an economic reason or genetics. I'm a mom in my 40s and I regularly have people guessing me at 10-15 years younger. Sleep, exercise, avoiding alcohol, and wearing sunscreen are really all it takes. Most people (parents and childfree alike) don't make the effort, but often because they can't afford to.

@EadsB7002

Жыл бұрын

@@ojyochan that can be true too! good for you for keeping yourself healthy!

@ChildfreeLT

Жыл бұрын

@@ojyochan let me guess, you are a single parent?

Could not agree more. I am 65 married and child free by choice. Enjoy my life have lots of holidays facials and free time. Do regret my choice. Know people with children who are stressed and poor.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Ultimate goals! Can't imagine how nice it is to look back and simply be able to reflect on how much your choice has benefited you especially seeing the alternative!

I wish growth to your channel 💜💜

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Thank you! 💛

i am 24 male and i never want children's for so many reasons. it's not just about me having children's but reasons why i think some other people don't deserve to be a parent.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

👏👏👏 There are so many different levels to it and I think some people who assume the worst of us don’t realize just how deep it can go!

Sadly you are right about certain parents not being involved in their children's life my father wasn't around for his eldest child my half brother he basically was a deadbeat dad to him and at times he was horrible to me and my brother due to his drug addiction and sleeping around unfortunately his oldest son was murdered a few years ago so my father basically wasted his chance of ever fixing his relationship with him me and my brother have made the choice to not be in contact with him

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Sadly some are only involved when it’s convenient or beneficial to them which is just as awful! 🤦🏼‍♀️ While it’s great to have a life obviously some people just should have never had kids because of the trauma and dysfunction that was created.

@angelaholmes8888

Жыл бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree yes totally agree 💯

We all get born alone and we all die alone

I have three children myself but I always thought it's everyone's choice whether to have children or not. Live your life how you want to live it. I totally understand not wanting to have children. But I also really understand wanting to have children. It's nothing to do with being over 50-60 though. My mum is 66 and she lives in a different country. She doesn't see me much, however she is very active and looks young. People should mind their own business and look after their own life and let people live their life how they want to. I don't regret having children. However, I did really struggle when the children were little, it was the most difficult time in my life with divorce as well. I do understand people not wanting to go through this struggle.

@Abwavey

Жыл бұрын

👏🏾👏🏾

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

I think it’s great how you understand both sides; it’s a sign of being very open minded which is what we need more of and allows us to be more open to the lives of many people! I can stand by your words! It won’t be for everybody and that’s why we shouldn’t make it for everybody! So many parents struggle but with many types of people around we can help in many ways!

@JDog2656

Жыл бұрын

Of course you do not regret having them because they are here, but if I may, what do you expect from them in the context of this video? Do you think they will be around frequently once you reach an age past your mother’s? Legit asking, I’m curious

You are making great videos from the start! You postet your second video on yt and I already subscribed! Keep up the good work, you can be proud of yourself!

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much, what a huge compliment! My husband is the secret behind much of everything - he’s teaching me and showing me the ropes in terms of lighting, filming, editing, etc! 😁

I am really really impressed with your set-up, lighting, background, everything! Your channel doesn't look like it's just started, it looks really cool! I want to start making my own videos this year, so my head is in that space...

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much! My husband has been making KZread videos for a few years now so he has been showing me the ropes thankful to have him! Just go for it if you're thinking about it! I waited for so long and there is no better start than now - just kind of have to go for it and not worry about too much; just have fun with it!

We are all getting older either way, but it's nice to have people in the family who have time truly on their side like children do.

Everyone will die alone no matter if you're in a relationship! And having children doesn't guarantee more happiness than not having children

After death of My father. My mother meet a guy that also lost her wife soo. its not like you end up alone. Esspecialy in this century. Like Im an antisocial person still have a Great GF but i really got along with myself throughout my life.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Exactly! I like how you stated in this century too! We can be alone but still very connected with many people via social media! I'm similar, I'm married but my husband and I both enjoy our time alone as well; and honestly enjoy it!

I wonder if these people are going to have a major crisis when they reach 60, I bet when they're 60 they aren't going to feel as old as they're projecting right now. It's looking like the retirement age will be 67 by the time I get there, I will likely still be working at the time they're saying I'm meant to be 'wrinkly and dying alone'. Its such a joke and goes to show there is no point arguing with people so far removed from reality.

@renek2913

Жыл бұрын

They will be crying about not being able to retire cus they spent all their money on kids instead of saving for their own retirement. Lucky for us, we have the option to retire at 60 or 67

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

That's the retirement age already where I am. Sadly, we see a lot of elderly working retail jobs just trying to make ends meet so I can't imagine what's in store for us! Time is merely a construct and even if we are wrinkly and old we don't have to feel that way. Sadly, you're right though, arguing with people like that goes no where because you'll never be able to get s sound idea into their head.

I love your videos, message so true. :)

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much! 💛

Wow, you're 60? You DO look fantastic; I wouldn't guess you're a day over 35!

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

No! 😂😂😂 Title is related to the comment mentioned by many towards childfree people that we are going to die old and alone at 60. 🤣

We just dint want the responsibilities that comes with raising children. That said, it doesn't mean I wouldn't k*ll for my nephew , I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH!! 😍😍😍😍

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

YES! Exactly! Love my nieces and nephews (until they get me sick) but at least if they act up it’s like “okay bye!” 👋🏻🤣.

girl, i feel ya

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

❤️❤️❤️

yes, i am gonna end up meeting my fate, without knowing what it's like to raise a family. i am sorry, but i never had the chance to have met that special somebody to have had a family with. i am 44 year old guy, i have walked away from every person who had a special thing with me. but i walked away from them, not knowing that they wanted to have a family with me. so i will more likely meet my fate in a old folks home, alone and no family in my future

I’m glad I had kids gave me a new love for them and myself. Makes me hate how I was raised though

@armystar90

Жыл бұрын

Did you have a rough childhood growing up?

@alexispromise1245

Жыл бұрын

@@armystar90 extremely

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

I'm so happy to hear that you are creating a better space for your children to grow up in! That's one thing I'm thankful for with much of modern day adults who choose to parent because they recognize the need to change things and end any trauma. I imagine it is difficult to navigate through being raised in harsh ways and I praise you for that, but despite the hard times that it may bring, I know your kids will be thankful for it all!

Death and endings are scary. It’s a lazy, manipulative argument. Anybody can latch on to a powerful narrative like that that we can all relate to and use it to justify their stance. Because eventually, we all end. I prefer to think of it as a gift. The time we have. And the fact that it ends. The greatest gift. So live your best life. Whatever it is. And if we die alone, we’ve lived well.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

This is such a great and beautiful sentiment! I can whole heartedly agree with you especially in regards to time being a gift; the most precious gift! Being human can offer us so many different things to experience and with such a short time on Earth, we might as well live how we see fit and not get too caught up in the ways others choose to live!

I’m planning getting therapy, too.

60 is the new 40 lol

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

That's my goal! 😂

😀🎄🍀👍

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

💛✨💛

I'm not even a little bit sorry, but just think of the number of us that will be in the senior communities at that point. We will be far from lonely.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Those senior communities will soon be “bumpin”! 😂

Any Indian hear I don't think so

Do you really hate me that much 😢

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

???

I do think this is a bit of a privileged view. Many childlesss/childfree people won’t be able to afford proper care when they’re older through no fault of their own. Good luck to you though!

I have to correct the statement that most people end up alone. As a chaplain in training , most people are surrounded by their children when they die. I think that the idea that the majority of people are in retirement homes and alone is a false one. It’s okay, there are benefits to having children and not having children. We don’t have to lie about either of them. I do believe that children provide comfort to their parents in old age.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

That's a good point! I think a lot of it comes down to just the person, parent, and location. Many people have also spoken about working in nursing homes, or anything related to that, and speaking about people who feel alone and abandoned by their children. From our experience with my husbands dad while he was in rehabilitation, we visited 2-3 times a week and the front desk thought it was a lot to the point where they started knowing us by name.

@christins.1481

Жыл бұрын

The bit with me is expecting your family to care for you. It's dumb to expect family to take care of for free, I.E. expecting them to pay for medical equipment, medicine etc., Or even expecting them to leave that high paying job. While you should pay for these things yourself as your kids have bills of their own and children to care for too. So since you're paying for everything yourself, you could be doing the same to someone who's not your family. I just don't think it's right to have children and expect children to financially take care of you. People shouldn't be having children if they don't have enough income to care for their children and themselves. I'm personally 40 and child-free and a homeowner. I have plans on moving my care taker's family into my home rent free, I'll still be paying them and my equipment etc. Then when I die they get the house for free. I honestly don't see why having a family living with me for free then giving my home to them for free is a problem.

Do you have an email address to contact you?

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

I do, sorry for the late reply! diaryofthechildfree@gmail.com