It was exactly the same in my family when I was growing up (in Poland). All the women (grandmother, mother, aunts, etc.) in the kitchen and serving food, and the men sitting at the table waiting to be served. When I was a teenager I was always told to help with everything, I protested but it was nearly impossible to win. They are so brainwashed they will never change. I also decided back then than this is not what my life would look like.

@NaomiTCOOKIES

Жыл бұрын

I grew up in California and I was raised the exact same way. It got to the point that my father started treating my mom more like a house servant - sometimes even a robot - rather than a house wife and it did not help that she played the role without protest because she believed such servile duties were expected of a house wife. She raised me to be like her but I did not want to be abused by my future husband like she was, so I protested every chance I had. It wasn't fair that I was being raised to be the 2nd mom of the family while my older brother and father just sat and watched TV and ordered me or her around. But you're right, some mothers are just too brainwashed and it's sad.

@martuskarogowska

Жыл бұрын

@@NaomiTCOOKIES They see it as a duty. I realized they might never agree with me that this is not an optimal life because it would be like admitting that they lived a lie and wasted their lives.

@katarzynaroszak1404

Жыл бұрын

U mnie było dokładnie tak samo

@martuskarogowska

Жыл бұрын

@@katarzynaroszak1404 Jak w wiekszosci polskich rodzin jeszcze do niedawna. Jak patrze na moja mame, babcie i rozne ciotki i to jak one funkcjonuja, to mam wrazenie, ze zyje w jakiejs rownoleglej rzeczywistosci :D

@katarzynaroszak1404

Жыл бұрын

@@martuskarogowska dlatego cieszę się, że udało mi się w porę zdać sprawę z tego, że nie odpowiada mi taki tryb życia ! I po prostu robię swoje :3 a mieszkasz w PL czy za granicą?

I told my parents at the age of 6 or 7 that I wanted to be both unmarried & childfree, they just said completely my choice and continue to support and respect it, my extended family doesn’t find it unusual as I’m not the first childfree person in my family, I am very much the black sheep of the Southern Asian community in more ways than one And my parents completely dote over their Granddog too 😊

@beaulieuonnp593

11 ай бұрын

You are a rose etween thorns....

My mom doesn't like that I'm Childfree. However, we all know its for the best that I am.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Hopefully, one day she can overcome it especially with it being for the best! I find most our parents only want us to have kids for selfish reasons.

@rjp8212

10 ай бұрын

I'm 47 male, single, childfree. Every single day I enjoy my lifestyle without any regret 🙂 my parents were supportive for my responsible choice of beeing childfree, but uncles and aunts not. I told them to mind their own business lol

I was very lucky to have a supportive and unconventional mom. She not only supported me, but also defended me against other relatives, including my (estranged) dad.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

I’m so happy to hear your mom could be there for you in this way! It really makes all the difference! 💛

i'm 40 and its only beginning for me, age will not stop me enjoying life

I (39) always knew that I would NEVER have children. The idea of having children has been a repulsive nightmare to me as far back as I can even remember. When I was as young as being in kindergarten it was already like this, so much that until I understood that women do not all end up having children, and that women do have a choice if they become pregnant, I actually insisted on being a boy. My parents therefore always knew that I NEVER will have children. And unlike many other adults they understood that it wasn't just a phase. I guess a big part of this is the fact that my mother never made a secret out of the fact that she found motherhood underwhelming, and that is to say the least. She did what she could to meet all our needs, and she definitely loved/loves my brother and me, but she never felt obligated to lie to herself and everyone else like so many other women do: She said very clearly that things are not like people try to make women believe, that it's not super fulfilling and wonderful, and that having children means shutting the door on countless other opportunities, freedom, romance and adventure. My brother and I saw how she struggled a lot, forcing herself to meet all the those motherly obligations, but it was so obvious that she wasn't happy. And my father also soon realized that being a father isn't all it is cracked up to be. So when the time came that my mother was completely sure that I really will never have children (and my brother (43) is childfree as well, btw) my parents were happy! Happy for me for not forcing this ball and chain around my leg. I am married to the man of my dreams, have been so for over a decade, and we are happy to just have eachother and live our lifes doing what we love, which is art, music and caring for animals rather than kids. My parents are just happy for us. My brother decided that he wants to live his life as a single dude, focusing entirely on what he loves to do, like working on his cars and in his garden, sport and hunting. And my parents are happy for him, too. Ironically, when I hear and read stories about parents trying to pressure their childfree kids into giving them grand-children, I realize that my parents, who were so underwhelmed with having kids, are actually the better parents.

I was 22 years old when I told my mother that I don't want children she was quite surprised but accepted my decision as for my father he doesn't know because we are estranged and I couldn't care less on what he thinks since he was a horrible father to me and my brother and half brother

Im so lucky my mum & dad are so supportive of my husband and I being childfree by choice. They are always like “you guys are so smart, better off”😂💕🎉My sister is a year older than me (Im 32) she is not married & has no kids either, just a dog who I call my niece❤🐶

I haven’t really received many comments on my decision to be childfree. I’ve been announcing it since I was a preteen, and I remember my mom initially saying I would change my mind. However, coupled with my desire to be childfree was an intense dislike of children that never went away. I never liked kids, and still don’t. My mom soon realized my childfree sentiments weren’t just a phase and accepted my decision. It was the same when I decided to become a vegetarian, I didn’t get any pushback. I have a friend who also stopped eating meat, but in the early days of her transition she was wavering because of pressure from her family members. She asked me how I dealt with that, and her question was so confusing to me… I simply never cared what anyone thought. Even if a family member manifested contrary thoughts regarding any of my decisions, I’d simply brush it away and not pay it any mind. If they’d become particularly annoying, I’d most likely answer aggressively to shut them up, because I have zero patience for people trying to have a say in my life.

Childfree Christian guy here. Going against the grain for sure.

You are brave. I am here thinking what if your extended family watches this video. I hope they don't get offended. I also have my parents who support my decision to be childfree and honestly even if they didn't I would not pop out babies for them or anyone. My extended family drops hints like yours and I just tell them I don't want to destroy my life Lol and it's enough to shut most of them down. However, I don't see them often as I live abroad. My sisters secretly envy me because the things me and my husband get to do in a year they haven't gotten to do in their lifetimes. They wish they had my life but it takes courage to build a life like mine especially coming from such a traditional background where I was supposed to cover my head and every inch of my body and just cook and clean. I think childfree people overall have more haters and it's just like part and parcel of the amazing life we have chosen.

I originally figured I'd have kids but changed my mind after the stress of living with children. Luckily the universe agreed, and my husband and I found out we can't biologically have kids anyway! The confirmation of infertility was a moment of celebration for us, and it released the burden of the chorus of "you'll change your mind." Edit: As far as my family, they seem supportive since my sister still wants kids, so it's not all on me for grandkids. My sister, though, struggles with being 30 and not having them yet as she really wants them.

August 1 Happy childfree day

@diaryofthechildfree

11 ай бұрын

Happy Childfree Day (belated) 😉☺️

I've never told my parents that I didn't want kids, I'm just living that life. However, during 2020-2021 (height of the plandemic), I remarked that I felt lucky to NOT have that responsibility & my dad said that it wasn't luck but that I was at a bad place in !y life.

@Datb2

9 ай бұрын

Wow

You are an amazing there is nothing wrong with deciding not to have kids you are beautiful and valid in you're decision not to have kid's love you awesome

when i was about 4 my parents asked if i wanted a sibling, i adamantly said no my mom said she knew then i probably wouldn't have children. so when i was about 8 and told her this she wasn't suprised at all. I've been blessed to have a family that doesn't care and just want me to live a happy life. i can't imagine what it would be like to have a family that didn't support my decision, i have so much empathy for people that are childfree and have to deal with pressure from their own flesh and blood. what's crazy is on my moms side all my cousins have decided to not have children so our family line will end completely. thankfully my 90 year old greatgrandma is a badass and completely supports these decisions. i again was blessed to have forward thinking woman in my family and a childfree aunt i grew up around. i don't mention the men because they have all passed, but knowing who they married i have a feeling they wouldn't care either way.

I never told my mother I didn't want kids or that I wanted them. I just left her to see it for self. She never really talked about it.. but there again, my mother still thinks I am a kid still!

@diaryofthechildfree

11 ай бұрын

That works out as well! Sometimes silence says enough as it is!

I told my immediate family of my childfree status and they accepted and btw my sisters are childfree too so I wasn't alone and I still got the stupid legacy bingos but I shut them down immediately. As for the rest of my family I will let them find out when they see cats instead of kids; it will be hilarious!!😂🤣

@gogicbasic7629

Жыл бұрын

You are two smart sisters. Enjoy a wonderful childfree life.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

The best thing to do is shut them down and not let any of those dumb bingos sneak in! 👏 Hahaha yes! Not to mention, living a beautifully fulfilled life above all else!

thanks for sharing! I'm so grateful my family doesn't push it on me.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for watching! ☺️ I’m thankful they don’t do that to you!

Oh yes dogs are way better than children to me god I miss my dogs Henry Casper and cody all of them have passed away 🐶😢

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

I’m so sorry to hear this! Losing pets of any kind is always so hard! They bring us so much joy in such a short amount of time! 😞

Made my decision at 10 years old and my parents are my biggest supporters along with my husband. My parents are now helping me with finances and investing since I have no children. Especially now when raising a child in 2024 (est. $26,000 a year, WAY more than my paralegal certificate and degree student loan)

Early- mid 20s, my family INSISTED that I would have children when I repeatedly told them I didn’t want children. They said I would change my mind when I’m older. Here I am, 29 and more than ever, still never want to have children. They’ve come around to accepting my child free by choice lifestyle, especially since I’m pushing 30, but it took all of my 20s to be taken seriously. They feel like I’m finally “adult enough” to make this decision, as if what I wanted for myself 10 years ago (the exact same thing) meant absolutely nothing. Like you said, it’s generally older people. Kudos to your husband bc I too put elders in their place and they’ve learned to not try me regarding having children.

My dad still pulls the "well, when you meet the right girl" argument in the way where he's trying to be cute/funny but ends up sounding obnoxious.

@diaryofthechildfree

7 ай бұрын

There is no logic to that comment, it's kind of funny, because the right person would be similar enough to you and have the close to the same lifestyle in mind.

When I was 7, I knew never wanted marriage but as a teen, I never desired romantic partnership. Ultimately, I have chosen to live my life as a single person during my final year of HS. The decision to be childfree came with really good intentional thought about procreation. As a mature man who is close to 40 at this point, people get married and have children for selfish reasons because they don't wanna age alone or they want people to celebrate holidays and events with.

I told my mom when I was 8 that I didn’t want to be a mom. She threatened to take me to a psychiatrist! At 35, I still feel the same way. 😂

@agirlnamedbrett.

9 ай бұрын

I was the same age when I told my mom and I'm 35 now too! haha haven't changed my mind once! we are changing the game for all the woman who come after us.

I'm the oldest of 7 children, Mom and Dad started popping them out when I was in First Grade. (I was the oops high school baby and they had a shotgun wedding in the late 70s.) From then on I was parentified and stated from then on I'd NEVER have kids. Not once regretted it (I'm 45 now) and I'm having to struggle as is with life (mental health, economic crash, . I can't imagine the pure hell I'd be in right now if I did have a kid. I don't have a stable home nor income. I currently care for my aging father and live with him because he does need a small amount of daily care so it's not worth having a whole separate place right now. I'm still saving and working on getting my own place arranged in the future, but it's still frowned upon how I never married nor had kids by all my family and it's held over my head that I don't maintain a whole other house since I'm staying with him (even though I pay all the bills for his house including food and upkeep). Not a one seems to understand that for most my life I've had to be a caregiver without a choice, I don't resent taking care of my Dad btw just tired that none of my siblings will step up and give me a hand. It's all dumped on me 24/7 because all my younger siblings are 'busy or they have to tend to THEIR families and I don't have one, so I'm free.' When Dad eventually leaves this mortal coil, I am cutting all contact with all of them. I'm tired and want a spot of peace away from them all.

I was extremely lucky. My Mum was accepting, saying she knows parenthood isn't for everyone. Telling me she has coworkers, and friends also choosing to be childfree. My Nana surprised me by also being accepting and even relieved. She told me how at my age (26), everyone she knew pushed her to have a child. Eye opening that news was. Alot of my childhood memories started making sense. Those two are really the only people I was nervous about.

My vasectomy was the best investment I've ever made 😅 . 0 kids= hundreds of thousands saved

My family keeps saying I will change my mind. I have always said I didn't wanna have kids, and at 25 years old they still laugh in my face. They have no respect.

Is it hard to find a man who wants to be childfree... It's tough in my life... And about the family... I haven't told. Eitherway, that's my private thing, don't have need to share. Only my girlfriend knows.

I also knew that I'd be unmarried and childfree when I was young. And, when I turned 18 and until now that I'm turning 25 soon, around me, there have been talks of people wanting kids, date to marry & married life. I've tried putting myself in their shoes. It's just not it. I really like that I'm childfree & unmarried. I've told of my parents every other time they want a grandchild out of me. And, my answer will always be no.

How did my family react? By disowning me. The best thing they could've done for me!

My mother says I will change my mind once I'm pregnant. I'm not gonna get pregnant just to see if I like it. 🙄

👏❤

I prefer my freedom, anyway the society is on the downfall. I'm totaly fine beeing childfree 😊

@diaryofthechildfree

10 ай бұрын

Freedom is something that is so valued! Very true as well, might as well enjoy life before the downfall hits rock bottom!

@rjp8212

10 ай бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree yes we are on the path of global collapse I believe, having one more mouth to feed is already a struggle for so many people already too...this is absolutly something to consider too. I'm a prepper too, so if things are going south, I can live like a nomad within 3 hours

@skateata1

10 ай бұрын

I also don't want kids because I would have to give up so much.