i've seen a lot of childfree channels poping up lately, I'm so happy being child free is actually being normalized

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

More and more people are finding growing childfree communities and it’s such a beautiful space where we can meet others and just feel heard!

@angelaholmes8888

Жыл бұрын

I'm so glad that there's childfree channels on KZread 🙂

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

@@angelaholmes8888 Agreed! ☺️💛

@doloresvangaal2248

Жыл бұрын

I doubt childfree women will ever be normalized. But I am happy that childfree women are speaking out and are able to connect. ❣

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

@@doloresvangaal2248 It's a rather big hope but sadly I also see the reality that it may never happen too. Im thankful as well though that it's being voiced more so we aren't at least in the dark with our choice and can feel openly proud of it!

Great channel. It is nice to hear younger women voice their choice to be childfree. I can honestly say, after 30+ years of marriage and choosing to be childfree...I have absolutely no regrets. Our lives are content, financially comfortable, peaceful, loving and happy. I only wish some of my family and friends with kids were as happy as we are.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much, that really means a lot! I love hearing from those who have experienced childfree life for longer, know the experiences and of course the benefits! I’m so happy you continuing to live and love your life! ❤️❤️❤️

@EadsB7002

Жыл бұрын

Awesome! This right here is the sentiment i hear from the vast majority of long-term childfree people/couples...not a bunch of "regrets" like the masses say you'll hear.

If more people were intentional about creating children, the world would be a better place. Most people have children because they can, not because they are prepared to be good parents.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

This should be put on a shirt! So well said and true! I imagine the world would be full of well rounded individuals if so.

I am 68, married 30+yrs. I knew as a teen that I would choose a childfree lifestyle and have never regretted it. I could never understand why some people think it is selfish....it is simply a choice...How I want to live, that's all it is. I don't live a lavish globe-trotting life. Being childfree suits me as I am an introvert and like to be alone. We built a little home in the woods, travel occasionally, have a few close friends, persue artistic endeavors and enjoy each other's company. We appreciate the small things and take nothing for granted.

My husband also helped me realize that I have a choice! So grateful to him for that. ❤

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Yes! 🙌 Sometimes it takes an outside perspective to undo all the “shoulds” we’ve been told in life!

As my husband says, "the bloodline ends with me." Lol. My side has so many cousins, but most of us are child free.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Yes! 🙌 Bloodlines are so strange like sure it’s great and all but we aren’t really that special either. 😂 I’m secretly jealous! A bunch of Childfree cousins sounds like a party!

I don't really like explaining myself because I noticed it doesn't matter for some people. I just say "I don't want to have kids, like I don't want to go to law school or have a tatto". It's pretty simple and quite satisfactory to shut people down 😆

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Very good point! Nobody is owed an explanation!

Very nice video! It's sad that girls are taught that motherhood is inevitable when it's just not what we all want. Children are an option, not an obligation.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Yes, exactly and so well stated! 👏👏👏

AHHH!! YAS QUEEN! I was the same way about not even knowing that having kids was a choice! So glad to have another childfree voice here on youtube!❤️

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

When you look back it’s almost like well duh it’s a choice but it just goes to show how influential the world around us can be! So happy to be here too! ❤️✨

I'm so happy to have realized that having children is a CHOICE. Like you, I grew up thinking I didn't want to go through a pregnancy let alone child labor. When I grew older I realized I didn't want to sacrifice my freedom, sleep, hobbies, my relationship and a zillion things more I see parents give up to be able to raise a kid. Furthermore, I don't want to bring a child into this world, not as it is. I'm grateful for living in this time and era in which I have a choice and celebrate it by living my best life. Thanks for giving voice to childfree people. I wish I had the courage to speak up about it more often.

this sounds exactly like me, child birth and pregnancy already weirded me out, and felt super unnatural to me sense a young age., and i was always told i would change my mind. Now I'm 31 i've been with my partner for 13 years and still feel the same way, it's so refreshing to hear I'm not the only one. The only time i can honestly say babies ever really crossed my mind is when society told me it should and the pressure from the world to have a kids. It never can from within me

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

It’s just so hard to wrap your mind around! To me I don’t see the process, complications and ultimately the worst pain you’ll ever feel to be worth it. There is content with staying as far away from pregnancy as possible! 😂 I’m so happy you’ve been living your best life!

Yeah, it is nice to know other childfree people out there. In my neighborhood I feel like the weirdo because my husband and I chose not to have children. We love travel, nature, taking care of fish, pets and the wild birds and that is enough and we love it.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Same here! Everyone on our street has children and my husband and I happily walk around with our dogs! 🙌🐶🐶

Similar to my story. The relief was and still is huge after I fully realized I don’t need to be a mother and can have this awesome life the way I want ❤ priceless

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

If people want to talk about a huge weight being lifted off your shoulders; this realization is a prime example!

@naveendalal1850

10 ай бұрын

Yes even i felt a huge weight being lifted from me Specially overworking and earning in toxic environment

You’re not the only one. Even breeding babies was ingrained in my head by society, too. I was 13, when I was questioning myself if it was a good idea to have kids in the world we live in. I was on the fence with the dilemma back then, but now I decided not to have kids. For various reasons. I’m better off being an uncle instead, and I’m glad to be in that position.

"You'll change your mind when you get older." Well, damn. I'm 32. When is it gonna happen? My stance hasn't changed since I was a teenager. My husband isn't torn up about it either.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

I’m ready for the next person to ask us so I can tell them my husband got snipped as extra insurance! 😂

@JuliaShalomJordan

Жыл бұрын

Amen! So true!

@slimetank394

Жыл бұрын

I've seen people saying that line to 90+ yo Childfree people...

I work in a high stress field (law and I absolutely LOVE it) and I want to come home to peace and quiet and just enjoy the time with my husband playing video games or watching tv/movies. And, I can use that high stress job to my advantage. The "stress money" will pay for my spa days, more gaming consoles, trying different hobbies, and of course traveling.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

I love this for you! I can imagine the stress that comes with your profession but also the fulfillment it brings as well! The level of relaxation in coming home to a calm space is almost euphoric!

i love being childfree, its also lots of fun when randoms ask "so how many kids do you have/when are you having them?" when i answer with "i cant have any" i never say "i dont want any" to avoid the stupid retorts they always have. Then they quickly realize how rude it actually is to ask such a personal question when there is obviously no children around me.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

That's the best response to give! 👏 My husband has done that and quickly shut down any further words. 😂

I was also disgusted and terrified about the pregnancy itself since childhood😶🤢 Big belly, vomiting all the time, pains, especially when giving birth. Breastfeeding feels wrong as well even though it's a natural process🤮 I just couldn't... Whenever I would think about all this I would get frustrated and not knowing how I would do this in the future. But fortunately I discovered than becoming a parent is optional❤ And I'm happily married now🎉

My siblings and I are the last of our bloodline. Our parents are super supportive and don’t pressure us. I am so happy being childfree and I’m currently retired from my job at 38 and planning three international trips for 2023. I decided kids weren’t for me when I saw my high school friends struggle with motherhood and I knew it wasn’t for me and I wanted to end generational trauma. I’m so happy and I’m living my best life!

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

That is awesome that your parents are very supportive! 🙌 Seeing it from an outsiders point of view can certainly put things into perspective in terms of parenthood! That has got to be such a rewarding feeling to be retired at 38 and setting 3 big back to back trips! Those are the things that I personally find as goals!

@ms.rivera7898

Жыл бұрын

Where are you headed?

Middle aged purposely childfree woman here. My life is amazing! And yours will be to. I knew children were not my passion. My husband was also childfree by Choice. This freedom can feed your mind body and soul. Its not for everybody but if you know yourself this deeply don't be afraid to make choices that are right not convenient or expected.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Your words are so true and inspiring; everything you wrote really resonated with me and I’m looking forward to navigating this life on my own terms! ❤️❤️❤️

💯💯💯💯 CHILDFREE BY CHOICE. Love the new channel

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

YES! 🙌🎉 Thank you so much! Means a lot!

One of the most powerful things you said that gets missed on this topic.... That so many people don't realise they have a choice on the matter. I was one who never had a desire to have kids.. My wife wanted kids.. Unfortunately I didn't consciously realize or process much of this until after we created the second child...I immediately got a vasectomy. My kids are teens now, I try to give them my best but I feel so inadequate being a parent, nor do I want to be a parent. I regret having kids every day of my life. I tell people all the time it is crazy to bring a child in to a world full of unlimited greed, diseases, natural disasters etc. And they look at me like I need help. Unfortunately men have zero options for abortions. I wanted the first pregnancy aborted but it was not up to me. So it is especially critical for men to get Vasectomy asap. Good news is, a vasectomy is much quicker and simpler for men than permanent birth control for women.

@fmsstudio6316

Жыл бұрын

1 out of 5 ppl now have only one child its growing i believe many of tgese ppl didnt think they had choice and just went through it to get it done. Sad thing is then many ive talked to were pressured to have a 2nd child but they drew the line and in a way its a bit of a protest as well

@INTERNATIONALvids

Жыл бұрын

@@fmsstudio6316 - Is this worldwide? It is true some more educated countries starting to realize but many cultures and countries still pumping out babies. Most often religious. But institutions need constant flow of human capital so they keep people dumb intentionally on the subject.

@fmsstudio6316

Жыл бұрын

@@INTERNATIONALvids i believe its in the u.s. so several countries in the world are experiencing population decline japan, sev. Euro countries. However globally its still growing if we are less nativist and allow for more migration we can stabilize the populations and not endure such enviornmental degradation.

@maxinahunt8652

10 ай бұрын

Thank you for being so sensible.

@INTERNATIONALvids

9 ай бұрын

@@fmsstudio6316 In last 200 years world population went from 1 billion to 8 billion. Too many humans makes humans cheap and replaceable. A child free revolution will sink world populations and force economic systems to reset from pyramids based on population growth to more sustainable population models.

i have some regrets in my life, but being childfree is not one of them. i can't put into words how right it was for me to not be a parent, and how miserable i would have been if i did have kids.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

When we know we know! Others may not understand but if we know it's the right choice for us thats all that matters!

Everyone be hating on women but never hate on childfree men what a shame

@diaryofthechildfree

7 ай бұрын

It can happen to men but I find not as often or as forcefully.

@Pleebian94

7 ай бұрын

​@@diaryofthechildfreeYeah, as a Childfree man I only get the occassional "Why don't you want kids?" from miserable middle aged guys time to time. It does not compare to the flack women get online and irl though. We got an entire echo chamber of men young or old just vilifying women for being women. Its like leave people alone, christ. Just live and let live.

@everglow-simp

4 ай бұрын

​@@Pleebian94they go crazy about females.these horny arses

Nice to see another childfree channel😊

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Thank you! Happy to have to here! ☺

I'm 49 married and child free. I had a traumatic childhood growing up with a schizophrenic older sister. I never wanted to experience any more unnecessary stress in my life. We have 4 cats and are very happy living financially secure. I never cared what other ppl thought so I never excepted any peer pressure.

@JuliaShalomJordan

Жыл бұрын

Totally get this. My childhood was beyond stressful. Could not imagine more on my plate.😬😟

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Oh my gosh! I don't blame you! That sounds like a chaotic upbringing and I'm sorry that was your experience! Chers to never putting a worry towards others thoughts! :D

@govegan6112

Жыл бұрын

@@JuliaShalomJordan people who've not had really traumatic childhoods wouldn't understand it. I don't tell anyone about it either. We have to enjoy our lives now and be grateful for it because many kids have it much worse.

@mnkwazi

Жыл бұрын

@@govegan6112 They probably would not understand your childhood. I think we all have our reasons. As a black person I am not sure I want to bring another person into this world.

@blaq2handle

Жыл бұрын

Same here. I’m worried that I won’t find a man who doesn’t want children.

I have 0 desire to have kids. I am 41 going on 42 + never really had a desire to except when I was 17, 18 when I was with my first boyfriend. I had that typical template of life on my mind. As I got older + saw my friends having kids etc, get married I realized it's not my thing. I was asked when are you getting married? When are you having kids? I said number 1 I have no desire to get married. To me it feels like garlic to vampires. I feel like I'm going to have a ball + chain, have to answer to someone + lose any freedom I have. As for children I do not want that huge ass responsibility: the crying, sleep deprivation, whining, shouting, messiness. CHAOS essentially... hard to even go to the washroom. Cannot even go anywhere like a vacation with the kids without having to have my eyes on them the whole time, what kind of time can I have constantly having to have my focus + attention on them. It would be constant self-abandonment + I have lived too long that way already without kids, with kids it will be amplified + I realize I do not have the patience for that. After a long work day I really do not want to now have to cater to + caretake another human being. I want to relax + take a load off + be in peace.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Preach! If it doesn't feel natural we definitely shouldn't be doing those things just for the sake of it! I feel like getting to the point and seeing those around us truly experience parenthood is a wakeup call especially seeing the nitty gritty. Once kids come into play, your life just goes down the drain! Cheers to living your best life! 🥂

Can identify so heavily with all of this! Good on us for living the life we love ❤️

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Life is so short as it is so we might as well live our best lives how we see fit and not as to what others do! 👏

I'm like you society asked me about when I'm going to be mom and how many children will I have, I was 15, then I grow up go to college and my family started to ask for grandchildren, my classmates told me "do it now later is too late", I didn't know that I don't want kids I only wanted to study, I started telling to people that I don't want kids when I was 25, always they told me a lot of bingos, when I turn 28 I became formally childfree by choice, I'm still single and don't have a boyfriend, my nephew borne 2 years ago and was a big change in my life I couldn't watch the tv show that I like and couldn't do many things, I move out to the other side of the country on January and definitely my life without children is good, no regrets

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Right? It’s always kids this or kids that! I remember my husbands grandpa once stating that one day I would have 6+ kids. 😳 No thanks! I’m similar as well! I just wanted to do well in school! My goals were just set on success for a good future and life. 😅 That’s always tough! Family stuff definitely changes once nieces and nephews come into play! I’m so excited for your move though and one I’m sure that comes happily without the stress of children!

@wmarch88

Жыл бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree BIL wants 6 kids and one day he came trying to convince my sister to accept, he thought that if we agreed (my sister's family 🙄) with him my sister would have 6 pregnancies, me a childfree? No, totally unacceptable I told him "not your body not your choice", my sister wants 2, my mom agreed with my sister, my sister knows that they can't afford more children, they have 1 son an a coming baby (?), so I would ask to my sister if she is going to get her tubes tied because I know he is going to try to make her be pregnant again when she is going to be 40 in a few years.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

@@wmarch88 Oh man, that is way too many! I really hope she does get her tubes tied because if he seems adamant about 6 kids, he will likely try to find a way. Just one seems hardly feasible in todays world and you know she would likely have to bare most of the responsibility in raising them too! I think that’s what erks me the most between people who choose to have kids. Some relationships are great, but so many consist of a partner who really wanted all these kids but then becomes absent for the majority of what’s involved!

@wmarch88

Жыл бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree Sorry this is too long 😅 My country has a very big problem, many man only saw us as machines for having babies, because a very machista way is as more children you have more macho man you are, not all, but the assholes, more if they are religious, I think BIL is like them, he showed a lot of machistas ideologies, laughing when a video show a man rudely shut up a woman because as a man he knows more, something that bother my younger sister and me, we were raised to be independent and successful, yes there are many things that my mom teach us, once where my sister was 9 months pregnant, I hear something on the kitchen at 3 am, I thought my sister was hungry because she was cooking, no she did it for BIL I told her "if is his food he has to cook, you are too pregnant for waking up", my mom told me "is her husband she has to cook", he doesn't know how to boil water. I don't see me on a relationship because a man is going to have the thigs easily, don't worry about anything, don't do chores, forgetting to pay bills because women didn't remember him to do it, that happened to my sister when they have the power cut off, and the women saying "man are man, you can't think they are going to do something if you don't ask or remember him to do it", and yes not being a father more than the name, my father, my cousins fathers, all are absent, they didn't raise us, they were there but not there at all for us, BIL is the same. Here religious people are against contraception pills, "because it make you promiscuous", some more fanatic are against talking about sex on schools to prevent pregnancies on teenagers, BIL was part of a church when women had all the kids that god sends🙄🙄, they try to push my sister to think to have all the kids BIL wants, she quit this church because was too much as "women equal slaves of man desires" (on my personal perspective), thanks to covid she said "I can't I have a baby", my nephew born 3 month before covid, they agreed with her because children are first, she didn't say it but I know she hated that church. I'm atheist so I hate religion. Religion only makes the thing worst for us here, for years therapeutic abortions where only if the life of the woman was on risk, no for other medical options, on 2019 the president against all the religious protests signed a law to make therapeutic abortion legal because there were many marches, protests and even lawsuits to stop forcing women to give birth to dead fetuses, yes, dead, many had unviable pregnancies but because their lives were not in danger they had to carry them to term, religious people thing that combined contraceptive methods plus abortions will make women more promiscuous. Even my family, the older members, was against because "they are killing babies", me and my younger sister talked about who good is to stop cruelty on those poor women, my mom was mad. On one occasion my older sister and I almost fought because she is totally against using misoprostol for abortion. Religion is so involved in politics that in the previous elections there was a presidential candidate who as a proposal who said that he would ban all types of abortion and unless the woman was dying it could be performed (when all we know it is too late), he lost, but he will come back, and many people agreed with him, "ban abortions save lives" they said. We know they can't because is totally ilegal by law to ban abortions, the consequences are too high to do the things as they want, I see this politician wanting to become my country as Gilead, "ban women rights" it's not something he said, but with everything he's said it's implied, more because there's always some idiot saying "women shouldn't go to college because it makes them no longer want kids and they think they have the same rights as men". He wouldn't win because he is dangerous and many people know that.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

@@wmarch88 I’m so sorry that you have to deal with that! I can’t stand that outdated way of thinking. I feel like more so nowadays motherhood is used more so as a way to control women because it makes it 10x easier. Obviously I can’t make this statement about everyone out there, but a lot of people who share that way of thinking show similarities. Your poor sister. While men in part play a role in how they treat women I feel like it also has to do with how they are raised both by their family and society because it’s a little all to common across the board! So many men just want another “mother” in a sense. Someone to cook for them, care for them, be their walking talking calendar, just essentially be a personal maid that does it all. It’s always like that though, they wannnt the children but then are never around to help raise them after birth much if at all. Religion in terms of determining what one should or shouldn’t do with their bodies shouldn’t be allowed or at least enforced. It’s infuriating to see the happen here in the US and I can’t imagine a place where it has a stronger presence. Everything (for the most part) should be left to choice and we shouldn’t judge anyone for what they choose to do with their own body that is there’s. Many of the things you stated that women are forced to do are cruel and just pro-long grief. Discussing women’s healthcare is so so so important! 👏 There is nothing provocative about it. Things are only sexualized if we make them that may but these are our bodies and everyone should understand how they work not just for good measures but overall health as well! I feel your fear with seeing how things can take a turn with political leaders. The state that I live in banned abortions at all stages recently. They allegedly made exceptions for life threatening medical conditions but women are coming forward stating that it’s hard to get a pass. It’s messed up because cases of rape and incest are not considered; it’s awful. It’s horrible to see things get passed like this because it is never done in the majorities favor and it gives too many of the wrong people ideas as well as the feeling of power to try and come back with more awful ideas.

I knew I didn't want kids by 17. I like kids just didn't see a reason to have them and didn't want the responsibility. I'm now 62 and still living (for the most part) like I did in my 20's! NEVER a regret. A lot of people my age are financially bailing out their adult kids or raising grand kids.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

I'm so happy you figured it out a bit early on in life and haven't looked back since! YES! I'm all for continuing to live your best life because age doesn't define a single thing! I can't imagine having to deal with all of that after thinking your kids are good after 18. It's a never ending job!

I was 13 when I realized that it would not be a smart idea to bring kids into a world like this. Knowing that ecological imbalance is occurring at the time, I also chose to opt out of procreation for environmental and financial reasons.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Those are the two big ones! It just doesn’t make sense for the place we are in the world right now!

Similar story, I didn’t know having children was a choice until I met my husband. I come from an abusive, “religious” family, and obviously their sexism and patriarchal norms made me feel like it was something that had to happen to me bc I was a woman. My mother would scream at me about how “my children would treat me the way I treated her and then I would regret it how I treated her.” Jokes on her, I’m never having any 😂

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

It’s so hard not knowing anything other than that specific way of life! Hahaha I’ve had that said to me before too and had the exact same thought! 😂 It’s the “joke” that just gets funnier because the more they say that stuff the more we don’t want kids! 😆

@oceania4681

Жыл бұрын

I’m so sorry to hear about what you’ve been through. I hope you are healing.

it's simply not for everyone. parenting kids should be reserved only for those who truly want and are well-equipped enough to do so. i knew years ago it wasn't going to be for me for many unique reasons. and don't listen to the "you'll change your mind" bs....if anything, i've become even more happy and confident in my decision the older i've gotten.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

I whole heartedly agree! I never understood why people try to convince others to have kids! Like, we know it isn’t for us and that we may not make the best of parents so why would someone try to convince us otherwise for a kid to maybe have a sh*tty life.

@EadsB7002

Жыл бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree exactly!! people who aren't completely on board with the commitment to rearing children should definitely not be doing so. else we continue this downward spiral in society as a whole. it's not fair to the person, nor fair to the kids.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

@@EadsB7002 People can claim all the “what ifs” they want but at the end of the day a life is not worth gambling!

Just came across your channel and I'm so glad. I was just chatting about this with a close friend and we were both saying how there isn't enough talk about the ambiguity that comes with deciding to be childfree or not. It's a big decision to make. I'm on the 'figuring it out' phase and giving myself time & compassion to not rush the process.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for taking the time to watch! It’s so important not to rush major life changing decisions! I feel like a big issue is how passive people are on the idea as if having a child is something as simple as choosing what to wear in the morning! There is so much to consider with it that we should all be thinking very deeply on it! I praise you for not rushing yourself and giving yourself all the time you need to figure things out; you’ll make the best decision either way after! 💛

It’s so weird how some ppl take CF folks’ choice to not have kids so personally. Ima mom of two and knew I wanted kids. But I love that the CF girlies can do what they want and don’t feel compelled to conform.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

It really is strange! Some people love to make other's business their business as well! It just makes sense that those who want kids have them, raise them with the love and care they deserve and those that don't, don't to avoid stressful outcomes for the parents but especially children. Thank you for being a CF supporter! ❤

@BurbNBougie

Жыл бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree I’m making a video on this tomorrow!!

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

@@BurbNBougie Yes! I’ll keep my eyes open for when it’s posted so I can watch!

@BurbNBougie

Жыл бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree I made two videos about CF ppl. Come on over

Thank you for your content. I want to be childfree but I get a lot of backlash for it. And I struggle with it a lot. So that you make content about this subject helps me a lot. Hopefully others will take women seriously, in the future, who want to be childfree.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much! I’m so happy to hear that you have been enjoying it! The backlash is hard but never let it steer you from whatever makes you and only you the happiest! This community is growing thankfully and my hope is that many people can seek guidance and “normalcy” from different lifestyle choices.

@laurag4978

Жыл бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree Thank you so much for your kind words! It's very much appreciated. 🖤 I'm really loving this community already.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

@@laurag4978 You’re welcome! 💛 I’m so happy you’re here and have a space to feel at home! ☺️

We have lots of war trauma in my family. I wish I had thought a lot more before I had mine because it doesn’t look like that trauma is going to stop any time soon.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry to hear this! Trauma is a hard thing to handle and often gets passed down. I recently have learned that studies are also done on how we can also carry our families trauma genetically. I am hopeful that these next generations are at least better in terms of obtaining the help they need.

How insane is this world that we're forced to associate a healthy lifestyle with selfishness. I feel like as you grow up, you learn that there's no reason to expect that everybody else will want the same things you want (a lesson clearly missed by some people in the comments, but that's not surprising), and vice versa - no reason for you to want what everyone else wants. I always say that asking someone who doesn't want kids about their reasons is like asking a gay person why they don't want a heterosexual relationship.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

It's such a bizarre concept, especially when you really think about it for a while. People are basically saying "how dare you take care of yourself" as if it's bad to want to look after your body, mind and spirit. If we don't care for ourselves and address our needs first, how else will we be able to thrive. For some it can be easy and for others it may not be, and sadly people just assume because they did something others should be more than capable when in reality we are all different and unique!

amen sis, im single no kids and its definately still not the norm

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

It may not ever be, but we are getting there or at least to a better place compared to what it was! 🙌💛✨

Your story sounds just like mine! Im 29, living in the US with my husband (being together for the past 7 years). We want to be childfree. I'm originally from Eastern Europe where family=having babies so when I met my husband who always leaned towards no kids, it was eye opening to realize that was an option. After years of carefully thinking about it and learning more about parenthood , I'm pretty confident I want to remain childfree. I like my sleep, my freedom, traveling, having chill time, and spending time with my partner, who is also my best friend. I need time to take care of my mental health and I can't imagine having such a huge responsibility of raising another human being. Appreciate you sharing your story!

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

My husband and I have also been together for almost 7 years as well! 🙌 It really honestly just takes another person to open you up to a whole new world and way of thinking - not that they change you but just that they should you a world beyond the bubble that surrounded you your whole life. I fully agree! The freedom tor sleep, travel, and just chill is so precious and time is ultimately just too valuable to miss out on the experiences we personally see as being more important! Having a partner you can share a friendship with as well is just so rewarding and not worth the risk of damaging it either!

Oh, I feel so much for this. My family actually have varying approaches to try and get me to "change my mind" about this. Mind you, all of them *flopped* (and in one case might have gone and given me enough trauma to *never* introduce potential SO's to them). One approach was the typical "accident baby" option. I had an answer for everything with that. Aka, start dating knowing kids aren't in the cards. If the guy changes his mind, by all means, adopt. Find someone willing to carry for you if you want one related to you. I don't know my stance for raising a child, but I know I *don't* want to have my own. If the guy wants *me* to have the baby, then he's *out* (especially in the example they gave where I just *woke up pregnant with his baby;* like no, that's how you make this bi girl *never* bring a man home). Make sure it can never happen by getting tubes tied, if not a full blown hysterectomy (yes I *will* go that far if I must). Another approach was "Do it for your mother. Do it for your family. You'll regret it. You're so pretty, any kids you have will only benefit from it!" My reply was a pretty simple one. "I have a brother, who has a wife, and they both want kids. They're both *trying* for kids. Let *them* do that. Family line doesn't stop with me that way. And I know I won't regret it because, surprise, I have so many genetic problems I would *never* pass on my own line to a kid." They tried to push that one a bit too, with the whole "But it's worth it! They'll be fine! You're fine, right? They'll be alright! Are you going to vet every man to make sure you don't pass your 'bad' genes on to kids? It's wrong to do that!" They only stopped that when I said "Well it's not my fault I came out messed up because you didn't look at your family history and think, just for a second, all these genetic issues you have might not be the best thing to gamble on with a baby. Oh wait, you did think ahead for that. You wanted more than one kid as 'spares' if I remember correctly. So no." Final one was only telling my brother a partial truth to try and get him to change my mind. Thankfully shut that one down fast. Now they just tell me I'm emotionless to sit there and decide not to have children because of the issues I can pass on to them that are literally tied to my own DNA. And while they *say* they'll love any child I may raise, they certainly don't hide the fact that they'd *love* a baby that came from me. Adoption/fostering almost seems to be an afterthought to them. Something tells me they'll never really love a kid I adopt (if I ever do that). Can't wait to see how they react to me having a girlfriend too. Pretty sure I'mma be disowned either way. At least I know I have my brother and my bonus sister in my corner.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

It's almost like they really believe these tactics will work without realizing it just makes the idea less and less desirable than it already was. Everyone is so concerned with others having babies until the babies are actually born! Good on you for standing your ground and having a response to each and every "idea" the put out! Personally, I would say if they can't except you for you and your choices they don't deserve your respect nor your presence. there are so many outdated ways of thinking and things need to be changed!

"Today, in 2022, we are not in a world that seems fit for children." Absolutely. Children born today will reach adulthood in the 2040s. By that time global warming will go past 2C. 2C is uninhabitable. We would lose crops, water security, coastlines, record breaking droughts and wildfires of today will become normal by then. Please do make a video on Climate Crisis.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Exactly this, and unfortunately we will be the ones sitting with them while this all happens. the only difference is that thankfully being childfree we don't have to worry about children going through this and can focus on our own survival. It terrifies me to see these things already happening and people aren't truly noticing. I will! I have it noted!

@TYINTOSPACE

Жыл бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree This was one of the reasons I became childfree. I truly believe that there are children who are seeing these things and questioning why their parents made the decision to bring them into the world. It's stressful see these things and brainstorming what actions should I take to secure my safety along with my parents and other family members because it isn't getting better.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

@@TYINTOSPACE It's scary to see and notice! If we are feeling this way as adults I can't imagine the young adults, teens, kids, and younglings that are currently being brought into this state of the world. I know every parent has high hopes but it can also be naive knowing everything we know and what's predicted.

I'm so happy beeing childfree 😊 all the free time I have to play video games and having no stress, and money to live without stress

I am a childfree guy. Great decision.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

🙌🙌🙌

I had a traumatic childhood because of it I have decided that I don't want children plus I don't want to repeat the cycle of disfunction like my parents did I have felt that way since I was 11 years old im 32 years old and I still don't regret my choice

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Ending the cycle and being able to work on yourself, while a hard process, can also be rewarding. It's just not fair to bring kids into your life when you're still working on yourself you know> Too many of us have already face the outcomes of that.

@angelaholmes8888

Жыл бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree yeah so sadly true

@JuliaShalomJordan

Жыл бұрын

I’m so with you on this.🤜🏼😬

i live for myself

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Yes! 👏 Always and forever! There should never be anything wrong with that!

It is a wonderful decision, both of you on the same page. I can only imagine the sense of freedom.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Thank you! We are beyond happy living our life just the way it is doing as we feel whenever (within reason).

Having children is not a requirement but rather a choice!!!! I have always struggled with the decision if I wanted children or not. I was actually thinking good and hard about it for a long time for the correct reasons but it wasn’t until a couple years ago that I decided to go childfree forever because of many reasons. I’m comfortable without children because I have no parental responsibilities but rather “selfish” freedom.

@darcy5761

2 ай бұрын

Childfree people think about the difficulties of having children WAY more than parents. So many women have told me that they hadn't wa ted or planned on a third or fourth kid but they andctheir husband got drunk and didn't take care.

I had a very similar experience! I grew up in a small town where having kids is just kind of what you did. I didn’t realize I could choose whether or not to have kids until I met my husband. I have decided not too, and it makes life so much better. :) growing up though even when I thought I would probably kids, it was a hell no from me on childbirth 😅

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Ah this is great in the sense because I thought I was the only one! Sadly, not everyone gets that opportunity to figure that out before hand because it can honestly take having to move from that place sometimes and just meet other people to see different views! I always had this feeling growing up (before I knew what childfree was) that had I had kids lets say, it would be a horrible birth experience. Life teaches you to always trust your gut too!

So true. I have worked and slaved under a company that has lazy management before. At that time I did not want to bring a child into a world and go through the same shit I went through before. 😮 At one event I met my ex boss. He told me having a family is the best thing ever and I should plan it. In my heart I was saying thanks to bosses like you I missed my prime to date and find a spouse. I was always stressed out and bad tempered working under him and sleep deprived. I won’t bring a bad mood to a date. Now you are telling me to set up a family?! It’s too late also as I am already end of menopause. But I have no regrets at all. Childbirth job we shall leave it to women who has the finances, resources and time at their fingertips to do it.

@lunaimadog4723

Жыл бұрын

🙋👏🙌

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

I’m surprised they actually said that to you…but also not! Employers I’ve worked for in the past romanticize babies and families, yet the moment anyone was asking for time off for it etc that crap talk started. If the work life balance is already hard telling someone they should have a family only make it harder. I saw a great meme recently that talked about how the people who love to work are often just trying to escape their families and home life. So happy to hear you are happy with the decision and outcome of your life! 👏 Life is already too hard as it is!

@sparklesp9304

Жыл бұрын

I'm in the same boat, but never really wanted kids. Work was way too stressful and I just didn't have time or the bandwidth emotionally. He's also a man, not a woman, so he's not the one who typically is the primary caregiver of children. I think in most cases, the people who seem the most unable to reconcile why someone wouldn't want kids are men as they can't relate to the impact of mothering on women.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

@@sparklesp9304 I can fully agree and feel the same way! I used to have a highly stressful job as well and coming home was just way too exhausting. Naturally, women just end up taking on the majority of caretaking as you said. There is no "I'm too tired" or "I worked all day" to complain about to get out of things.

You're so pretty btw and I love your hair!😍

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

What a sweet compliment! Thank you so much! ☺️✨

Great video👏🏻Fellow childfree by choice DINK here living my best life😀Love your hair😍Ive subscribed❤

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for watching and subscribing! So happy to hear that you are living your best DINK like! 🙌 Thank you!

Exactly, after a long hard day at work, to come home to cook for children and help with homework, school activities, etc. would be overwhelming.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

I'd probably lose my head!

I'm 20 years old but I have been wanting to stay childfree for many years now. Growing up in a competitive high school with soaring expectations to go into top universities, I have always felt an immense amount of pressure amongst my generation. Even if I could afford my child a better lifestyle, I would never want to bring a child to this world, only for them to go through the same process of fighting the rat race lifestyle. I'm lucky to have parents who respect and support my decision, although their rationale comes more from the environmental view.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

On top of that the children born as of lately will sadly be brought up in a world not fit to live in for so many reasons. We are reaching the point of no return and we will be lucky if ourselves and younger generations can fix things. I'm happy to know that your parents understand even if its with from the aspect of the environment, it's a big form of respect!

@naomiii9788

Жыл бұрын

I relate to this so much coming from a strict African background.

This is such a great video! I’m so glad I found your channel! 🥰 everything in this video is so relatable to me. I look forward to seeing your content

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for being here, I’m glad you enjoyed the video and found your own similarities within! 😊💛✨

Children are human beings, not dolls. And I think that gets jumbled up sometimes. Seems like parents want to live through their kids-- then get surprised when they're cut off later in life. Or they want someone to guilt into a retirement plan. I don't know if I'm cf yet, but I've been in this mindset for a few years. Not because I dislike children. I love them and think they truly are our future. I just can't justify bringing a pure being into this world and forcing them to live through it and then naturally pass away before they do(if i'm lucky)leaving them without me, who brought them here. Just because I think I have a "legacy" to pass on. Something about all of that doesn't sit well with me at all.

@goodlookinouthomie1757

Жыл бұрын

You'll understand it one day. Hopefully not too late. An unbroken line of mothers one hundred thousand generations deep precedes you... all of whom had no such doubts clouding their meaning. I really hope you understand while you have time.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Such an important thing to realize that not everyone may in life! Whatever you choose to seem to be thinking very adamantly on it so I know you’ll make the right choose for you!

@natural3362

Жыл бұрын

@@goodlookinouthomie1757 she already understand that having kids is selfish. Thank God before too late

@alainamacdonald1621

Жыл бұрын

There are many different ways to pass on a legacy two of which can include writing or teaching. It sounds like your carefully weighing all angles of this decision. Good for you, I'm also confident that you'll do what's best for you as well.

What an awesome video! You are a wonderful person. I wish you the best.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

You are so sweet, thank you so much! Have a lovely evening!

It’s great to feel validated as I am the oldest of 5…was leaned on heavily by my mother as her babysitter, therapist, stand in husband, etc… I had no childhood! Not only did I not feel equipped for the job(motherhood should be intentional) but I launched into adulthood ill prepared and exhausted. Motherhood is an honor and great responsibility. I do not want to dump my trauma onto the next generation… Gonna leave that to my sister.😂🙏🏻😅

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Im so sorry you had to experience all of that! My sister had a very similar upbringing and I watched everything she went through, through the eyes of the younger sibling. I'm hoping that this journey has brought some healing your way!

@goodlookinouthomie1757

Жыл бұрын

When you do have a child (and from what little have I read here I think you will) you will dig so deep as to become almost superhuman in your capacity to give of yourself. And you will think it inconceivable that you were ever of another mind. As almost all mothers do. Except the really bad ones and you are clearly not that.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

@@goodlookinouthomie1757 Nah, my husband and I made our decisions physically permanent.

@goodlookinouthomie1757

Жыл бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree Oh. If you are being sincere about that, then my condolences. I made a somewhat glib reply here that you will change your mind. But I will not comment further as that would be in poor taste. Best wishes.

@JuliaShalomJordan

Жыл бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree thank you! So sorry to hear that.🫣

Thank you so much for this video!! My partner and I are child free by choice and it is liberating to feel in control of our choices, we love to be independent and live our lives for us. I am glad we have not followed the default setting of marriage house kids … and then put yourself last for ever. Yeh… very happy with our choice. More women should be able to decide this without guilt💕

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing! I can agree completely with those feelings! It unshamingly feels SO GOOD to be in charge of your life, decisions, and outcomes! No regrets to a life of putting yourself first! 💛☺️

@elizareset

Жыл бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree 💕💕

Me and my husband are also childfree and our life is pure bliss compared with other family members with children. We have 0 regrets just dealing with the stigma. My in laws almost inheritance my husband, we are not invited anymore for family events and his breeding siblings are praised.

Healing my childhood traumas. Working on me. Working on me.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Such an important thing to do. It can be a long journey but the process eye opening and so worth it! We can't be our best selves unless we dive within!

@MW54545454

Жыл бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree exactly.

It would be greatful if there was a chat on Facebook or whatever where all the childfrees could communicate

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

I know there are Facebook groups but a chat would be awesome! I’m sure there would be so much to talk about!

Above all else, I think the most important reason for me is that I do not want kids. Simple. I don’t want them, never have, never will. I’ve been saying this since I was a pre-teen, I am now 35 and I won’t change my mind. The truth is, I don’t like kids. I don’t have the patience for them, I don’t find them cute or endearing, and I can’t stand to listen to them, whether they’re crying or screeching in happiness. I enjoy peace and quiet. Now, not liking kids doesn’t mean I wish them harm. I really don’t. And I truly believe that the very least any child deserves when arriving in this world is to be 100% wanted and loved by the parents. Anything less can easily result in mistreatment and/or neglect. If I already know I don’t want children, I’d be doing my hypothetical child a disservice by birthing them. There are so many terrible parents out there… being self aware and really thinking about our desires in life should be the minimum anyone had to do before procreating.

@KangMinseok

Жыл бұрын

The problem is that someone who feels like you should be strongly advocating for a hyper capitalist or libertarian system of governance - because social welfare systems of socialist or social-democratic countries heavily rely on child-birthing (the "generational agreement" that every citizen is subject to). A "I don't want to have children but I want to have social welfare systems" mindset has been shown to be a very prevalent yet deeply problematic one. Many Western social democracies are forced to colonize the children and younger generations of third world countries to prevent their welfare systems from collapsing due to low birthrates. This is why so many third world countries suffer from brain-drain and economic stagnation. A child-free person would, even when paying twice the amount of taxes, still likely not compensate the loss of value generation that comes with not having a child. There is an ideologic cognitive dissonance that currently permeates society, which is also what generates a lot of frustration with child-free attitudes. Having a cake and eating it, too... simply does not work. In a country with socialized welfare systems, not having children is turned into one of the most anti-social thing a person can do, due to how these systems are set up.

@PowerOfAIandMotivation

Жыл бұрын

Exactly @lilithmarleen that's my way of thinking as well👍🏻

@lilithmarleen

Жыл бұрын

@@KangMinseok I don’t care about any of that. The world is overpopulated as it is, there are plenty of children to support the social welfare of developed countries. Besides, what I pay in taxes for most of my life is more than enough to support me in my old age. I don’t care about preserving my country’s population, if it needs more people as the older generations die out, then it needs to make itself more attractive to immigration, and also to keep the young, qualified workforce instead of being so inhabitable that many choose to leave the country seeking a better life.

@KangMinseok

Жыл бұрын

@@lilithmarleen I don't think you understand how the i.e. pension system works (in most systems, your money is paying the older generation of today, and the next generation pays your pension). Please research what these generational agreements actually mean. And yes, there are many children in this world - they are among the most valuable resources, especially to third world countries. What you are writing (to suck them up through immigration) is basically oppressive, colonializing supremacy at its worst... and yeah, you put it very nicely... you do not care... as I said, very anti-social, that is fine, as long as you don't support socialist ideals and welfare systems.

@lilithmarleen

Жыл бұрын

@@KangMinseok colonizing means to impose one country’s leadership and laws into another country, making the second country a colony of the first. Immigration is when people from one country willingly move to a different country. Very different things, but it seems like you’re too obsessed with procreation to understand these concepts. Having kids is not an obligation. There are more than enough people to support the economy, people just need to stop being xenophobic and welcome immigrants who are in search of a new home and a better life.

Came home from work this afternoon and that's enough children for me for a day. I'm EXHAUSTED 🥴 #childfreeteacher

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Omg I can only imagine that feeling of peace and quiet after a day spent with kids! It really becomes more appreciated at that point!

@ms.rivera7898

Жыл бұрын

Wooh! I had to let teaching go last year after 10 years of teaching. I had enough. 🙂

@saffron1996

Жыл бұрын

i love the concept of childfree teachers! you give knowledge to the next generation, while not having the responsibility of their personal lives

Same view with you since 18 years old, when I realised that I don't like to take care of children from my relatives house. Other girls at that age have a visual of their wedding, whereas I never dream of it or am I concerned about it. Thank you for sharing & would love to have your courage!

I love this channel! You say exactly what I feel everyday! It’s very validating 🙏🏻☺️

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for being here! ❤️ I'm so happy you can relate and feel validated!

That was such a nice vide to listen to, thanks a lot for sharing.👍🏻 Your journey seemed nice & didn't have many struggles which is very great and also the fact that your husband was already a childfree person since 14!!! That's so amazing to hear in real life since I don't get to see many guys post about their experience in detail on childfree in the internet for now but I'm sure it will increase upon the years but I personally would love to see more from across the world, it brings me much joy and hope 🥰 It's very nice to hear childfree couples are out there that are comfortable and just enjoying their lives the way they want to, so sweet💕 Love your last statement, "Keep being authentically childfree" authenticity is everything for real, I personally value it a lot.👍🏻

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for taking the time to watch! 💛✨ Men or more or so silent on the matter but I’ve been seeing more and more speak about it which is nice to see! ☺️ My husband and I really hit a moment these past few years where we really noticed how short life really is and we knew then we wanted to work hard to have memories and experiences that truly hold meaning to us! They don’t have to always be big things as it can come in terms of simplicity as well! We don’t want to look back and see things that we missed out on - like seeing the world! 🌎

I love your whole vibe ✨

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Tysm! 💛✨

I like your way of thinking! and weather I agree about the concept or not, some points you have mentioned had really touched me.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for your kindness! I value your appreciation to some of the things discussed even if it's not all fully agreed upon! A world where we can appreciate some of the things we may not fully agree with is a path towards harmony! 💛

I don’t know if my generation can really say it is a choice, if most people can’t even afford it, is it a choice? I’ll never be able to afford to, so it’s not even something I’d think if I want or not, forget wants, I just hope I can afford to get through this month and the next, and maybe have some money left over if I’m lucky.

@amphoteric

Жыл бұрын

there's a difference between being childfree by choice vs. involuntarily childless even though these terms sound very similar. childfree are those who do not want children at all whereas childless are people who don't have kids due to infertility or other circumstances in their lives but still want children one day. also, chances are, people who are childfree have more than one reason why they've chosen not to have kids and not being able to afford them is just one reason but it's not the only one.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

There are different aspects to people choosing not to have children which include a multitude of reasons. Some may choose to be childfree for the planet, the world we live in, because they don't like kids, it doesn't feel natural etc. I completely understand where you are coming from though. This world we were dealt is pretty awful and I'm not sure we'll ever be able to fix all the things that are wrong.

@goodlookinouthomie1757

Жыл бұрын

Forgive me but the financial argument is bullshit. You have a child and you find a way. The love you will have for your little one is like finding a superpower and you can't begin to imagine the things you will be capable of.

@slimetank394

Жыл бұрын

@@goodlookinouthomie1757 this is how we got people feeding their kids rotten food then kissing them goodbye in the hospital

@goodlookinouthomie1757

Жыл бұрын

@@slimetank394 The kind of people who feed their kids rotten food are not the kind of people who ever wondered if they could afford them in the first place. They just go ahead and have them - not uncommonly for the express reason of claiming government pay checks if they're in western countries. There are some people really shouldn't have kids at all, admittedly. But the irony is that the socially or environmentally responsible people wringing their hands about whether they can give their child a decent life are the exact ones who _should_ be parents - and decide not to be....

Smarter than most

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

🙌🙌🙌

I've been following you for some time on tik tok and super glad to see you here on KZread! Thanks for sharing your story! Keep it up :)

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much! 🥹❤️ That means a lot!

I never want to have kids either. As long as I have good friends and some family and in a good community. I'm happy with that.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Yes! It really doesn't take much to enjoy a good and happy life!

i have 1 child not gonna have another 1, my kid is big enough now,its time for me to enjoy my own life and self more and more good thing i had him in my young age we look like friends and i enjoy his company more now that he is mature enough to be my best friend.... most toxic reason of having a kid is to expect them to take care of you when you get old... i always tell my son that his only responsibility is to be happy and to do things he desire in this lifetime... 🥰🥰🥰🥰

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Yes! Im here for this! If you are content with one that's all that matters and you can focus not just on being able to be there for your child but more importantly yourself now more than ever! I'm so glad that you don't put that expectation on him either because it is definitely not fair to any of us to have that burden placed on us.

@kizryuver

Жыл бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree true, though people that even think of childfree are always threatened with it as a consequence, so it would be helpful if you make a video regarding that as to how you got out of that mindset of fear if you did go through it. Since we are always told that we all need people to take care of us when we are sick and kind of is true to some extent that we as humans rely on each other as society. So i d really like to know how you figured it out, to me i thought that even if ppl had kids they still leave,so you can still end up alone/with your spouse and you may still have to take care of yourself and so on and when you can thats fine, but when you cant, what are the options that you see..

@christins.1481

Жыл бұрын

Oh my God! I tell people as well you should only tell your children to just be happy with their life and not expect to take care of you! So many people get mad at me for say this right here. I have no children of my own and definitely won't have children so someone can take care of me when I'm old. People don't realize you're putting your child in debt as they have their own job, their own Bills, possibly their own family to care for and then have to drop everything to take care of your broke @$$. No! No! No! Unless you're going to pay your child to take care of you and foot your own medical Bills, don't even do this to your own children. I mean, think about it. You're paying your child to care for you, what's the difference with paying a total stranger? Not every Hospice worker is a thief or a horrible person and family even steals from you. Was funny because I had one guy tell me if your children steals from you then your raised them wrong. Me and my brother were raised the exact same way, but my brother is the one who can't be trusted. Kids will turn out how they turn no matter how well you raise them. It's just more dang people expecting their children to be golden children. I honestly feel sad for these kids when they become adults because I can see their parents judging all their decision making.

Yes, I am at a point in life to where I am making me a priority and healing myself.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

It's in these moments that you really get to know and understand yourself too, it's quite beautiful!

That sounds fun to me, childfree.

U r so much similar to me ❣️🥺🥺 love u..keep inspiring...i too hate pregnancy and childbirth...

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

❤️❤️❤️! I'm so glad to hear that you can resonate with these videos!

Great video.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for watching!

It’s so strange to me that people put pressure on other people for “carrying on the bloodline.” Lol what is this, Game of Thrones?

@mthokozisimpanza34

Жыл бұрын

Apparently 🤣

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Hahaha they wish! The majority of us are nothing special!

@redemptionhappens7725

Жыл бұрын

It’s highly narcissistic.

Does your mother still think that you’ll change your mind? What’s the relationship between purity culture and the expectation of parenthood in your community?

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

My mother thankfully never had an issue with my decision later on in life thankfully! It’s more so grandparents where I hear the usual stuff from! I never really grew up around purity culture and never knew anyone involved until I moved to the US.

Ur a beauty , and thank you

Exactly. Got to have sleep. #ChildFreeIsTheWayToBe

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Sleep is life! 🙌

Very intelligent philosophy. I aprove this. Matthew 24:19 (NLT) How terrible it will be for pregnant women and for nursing mothers in those days.

Great! The question is if the likes of Musk and/or Mr. & Mrs. Nicholas Eberstadt from the AEI criticize your choices on purely economic grounds, are you prepared to argue against them and win?

@pce12345

11 ай бұрын

Why would she need to do that? It's her choice. And she doesn't need to argue it with anyone

@greg1030

11 ай бұрын

Absolutely, except that if the above elite totalitarian thugs had their way child free people like us would actually be paying a tax for choosing not to reproduce. There's actually been talk about that possibility here and elsewhere. In fact, what's perhaps even worse is that it's always been that way. Best example: Buy a house of comparably assessed value as you next door neighbor's, or even one on a nearby block, and try to get away with paying less public school tax than those same neighbors who have kids. Remain in tax arrears long enough and the County Sheriff will come and evict you and seize your house for unpaid taxes. And here on Long Island, school tax comprises at least 65% of the average property tax bill. And of course there's your federal and state income tax, where YOU are helping to make up for the tax that people with kids are exempt from, for every kid they have, at least while the kids can be claimed as deductions. Posting on youtube, via podcasts and especially via forums and using your state's petition, recall and referendum legislative tools are the only way we have of getting and keeping tax JUSTICE. www.populationbalance.org/

Fantastic video 🤍 what camera did you use to film this?

@diaryofthechildfree

11 ай бұрын

Thank you! I use a Sony A7S III

Just out of curiousity, how has your family reacted to your decision?

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Both our parents, thankfully, reacted rather well. We’re both the youngest and already have siblings with kids, so not sure if that maybe helped. They would have obviously loved if we did but they also already have their fix of grandkids. Our aunts, uncles, and grandparents have been the ones questioning our choices and the ones to be like “you’ll change your mind” or “are you sure?”.

What legacy?

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Do you mind elaborating?

kids are way too expensive

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

You’re telling me! It’s only going to get pricier as things progress too! 😖

@oceania4681

Жыл бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree housing is insane. medical is insane. vet bills insane. i’d rather be childfree ahd save myself some money!

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

@@oceania4681 A billion yes’s! Personally, I can’t fathom having a child when 1. It’s hard to afford rent let alone a whole house 2. You have to justify whether a doctor or hospital bill is worth it and 3. A trip to the grocery store for 5 items can easily equal $100. I saw a few people share a video about how it can easily rack up to 20-30k a year additionally to raise a child. Imagine what you could do with that!?

@oceania4681

Жыл бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree i agree. i just don’t understand why people want kids…i think loneliness is a huge factor in them deciding to have kids…but it’s not always the solution!

@renek2913

Жыл бұрын

@@oceania4681 fear of being lonely, fear of missing out, kids being their retirement plans which are all incredibly selfish

I know people who make 50k 70k that have kids that are haveing it way harder then me iam disabled from sizures and live on my own they are doing worse then me

Would you ever do a book club or do videos on famous people who choose not to hhave children on your channel 🤔📚

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

I haven’t but it’s a great idea! I need to get better on prioritizing my reading first! I would love to find a way to incorporate this though as it’s a great way to also share Childfree books/authors!

@angelaholmes8888

Жыл бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree I have a few books you could read I'm glad my mom died by Jeannette mccurdy Lucky me by sachi parker her memoir Not my father son by Alan Cumming his first memoir

How do you meet guys like minded ie #childfree

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Sadly, i don’t have an exact answer to this. My best advice to this would be to be open right away regarding what you want and what you’re looking for to avoid hurt feelings or dragging things out too long.

@nidhithakker5911

Жыл бұрын

@@diaryofthechildfree ya that is exactly what I do, I hope I find someone soon 🤞🏻

Actually kids dont appeal to me, they are annoying ,i know i cant handle them thats why i choose to be childfree lol

I follow your page on Instagram 😀

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Woot! Thank you for following along! 👏💛✨

These women may grow to regret it one day. I do sometimes: although my situation was less choice and more due to circumstances. Having said that, my brother and his wife have never had kids and they seem very happy after 50 years of marriage. I cant speak for everyone.

@EadsB7002

Жыл бұрын

if they were at all "on the fence" about the decision..maybe. but regret is super rare for those who knew from a fairly young age that it was not going to be the right choice in the least. and never swayed from it.

@WateryFire

Жыл бұрын

You explained it: yours was not a choice but a circumstance. Major difference. Also I don’t take young women in their 20’s seriously about this topic. Let me hear them again after 35. It’s not yet a choice as long as you still have the freedom to change your mind.

@EadsB7002

Жыл бұрын

@@WateryFire i totally agree with that.. while it is refreshing that childfree channels and pages are finally becoming more prevalent, i do prefer the ones with women closer in age to myself (40's)...who've been apart of this way of life for a very long time.

@oceania4681

Жыл бұрын

@@EadsB7002 i’m 39 F. no kids. knew at 9

@eqrahabibi

Жыл бұрын

You said you didn’t have much of a choice, that’s why you regret it. I am in my 20s and I am happily childfree with my husband, and we are excited to stay that way our entire lives together.

From a socialist perspective, having children is a duty. Children are the backbone of any socialist or social democratic country with welfare systems (pension systems, socialized medicare-for-all etc.). These systems completely rely on the so called "generational agreement" - meaning having more young people than older people is mandatory for these systems to function. The low birth rates in many of these countries means they have to colonialize and suck up children from other countries through immigration, which causes brain-drain in the third world. So yeah... this is a real issue. Child-free couples would need to pay at least twice the amount of taxes to compensate the social welfare systems for the breach of the generational agreement... and that's not even compensating the missed value generation. So unless you are a hardcore capitalist or libertarian, I wonder how you live with this dilemma (if not with cognitive dissonance).

@pencilany

Жыл бұрын

LOL, depending on where you live, especially in Europe you pay more taxes if you´re single, and get some sort of reduction first when you get married and then a ton of reductions once you have children- in certain places if you have 3 kids, you don´t pay any income tax at all! So yeah, this is already in place the welfare states. But to attribute the brain-drain in third world countries to this, is just silly. The reason there´s a brain drain there (and other, not-so-wealthy countries that aren´t necessary third world) is because the opportunities there are just crap. Nobody would leave their own country just to replace the population in an aging developed country unless there are serious advantages to the move and chances that they won´t have at home.

@KangMinseok

Жыл бұрын

@@pencilany Does your calculation equate to double tax burden per person? Where do you live where this is the case? I've friends in i.e. Sweden, and it's certainly not the case there at all. I fundamentally disagree with you, if social democracies had firm border control, the brain drain could be easily controlled. It is the fact that social democracies (with intent) do not control their borders or limit immigration consistently that provides a major incentive for the drain. It is a form of neo-colonialization, even if the people in the colony live "less primitive lives".

@sparklyunicorn5431

Жыл бұрын

We live in a capitalist world though lol. 0 safety net. If we lived in a socialist society, people would have the energy and means to bring up children and would be more likely to have them.

@KangMinseok

Жыл бұрын

@@sparklyunicorn5431 are you saying that a socialist society could never be achieved because the rest of the world is capitalist?

@sparklyunicorn5431

Жыл бұрын

@@KangMinseok im saying you're a dumba$$ troll because there are current 0 socialist societies, so stop it with the fake concern regarding CF women.

ew.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

Gross.

@renek2913

Жыл бұрын

Ew you

@RottenlyMoodyChild

11 ай бұрын

If EW stands for extremely wholesome, then I fully agree! ❤

How could she raise kids, spending all her money on how she looks.

@ashleyfire4312

Жыл бұрын

Then it's a good thing she chose what was right for HER. You can all snarky comments you want, but HER decision effects no one BUT herself. Keep it steppin'.

@gnocchi6610

Жыл бұрын

Girl you salty.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

If I chose to have kids I wouldn’t be able too, but I didn’t, so I can. Easy explanation.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

@@gnocchi6610 Always.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

@@ashleyfire4312 👏👏👏

Thx for not reproducing!! One of you is already too many

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

You're welcome!

@jeffreycoleman8676

Жыл бұрын

She didn't say she was against cloning

@homeremedysanctuary

Жыл бұрын

You sound like a very happy parent. 😂😆😜

@niltomega2978

Жыл бұрын

@@homeremedysanctuary Yes I am. My 4 children are all raised and now I reap the rewards!!

@homeremedysanctuary

Жыл бұрын

@@niltomega2978 congrats 👏

I don’t think I ever had motherly instincts. I’m sure I did play with dolls but I truly only remember playing with animals, both real and toys. Never once in my life have I ever seen a baby and think “omg I want one.” Not once. Another thing I remember feeling in high school is a lot of my peers were getting pregnant while still in school and I was like wow your life hasn’t even started yet and now you’re tied down not only to this child but also to its dad who you most likely won’t be with long term. It blows my mind when people want to have kids at a young age before they even experience what life has to offer. I’m 29 now and have zero ZERO desire to have a kid. I love my freedom. I have no complaints at all about my life and choices I’ve made. Well maybe like a couple but nothing major.😋 Every day at least once I think “I am so glad I don’t have kids.” This world is so messed up, it’s hard enough taking care of myself without having to worry about anyone else depending on me. I love that this is something that people are talking about more. Your videos are so good girl your camera quality and way of speaking is so professional.🫶🏼

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

I feel like the only reason some of us played with dolls was because they were just handed to us and it’s what we saw others doing as well! Oh gosh, especially when they would start crying! Anytime someone had me hold a baby (which wasn’t often) they would always cry. 😅 I actually graduated with a few girls who were pregnant and they just accepted it like it was normal but you’re such a different person at 17/18. I’m right there with you! This world IS messed up and I fear beyond repair. I can’t imagine the distress it would bring in every aspect of life to add a child into the mix. Thank you so much! I’m happy to see more of it as well! This community is growing so much and it’s just nice to know that people starting out in this era of their life have a community to be a part of! Hahaha thank you! My husband is the photographer/videographer talent behind everything (he’s showing me the ropes)! 😂

@rebeccaw_artist4127

Жыл бұрын

same

@avapilsen

Жыл бұрын

Reading the first few sentences has made me realize that, when I played with dolls as a child, I never potrayed them as mothers, nor did I care for baby dolls. In fact, I loved Bratz dolls because they looked beautiful, and I wanted to look like them. That was my only reasoning, lol. This has also been true as a teen and adult. I never cared for babies, and whenever I saw them, my first thought was, "Yikes, that is a heavy responsibility that I never want to bear." Funnily enough, I work with children-but it's more so because it started as a need for money at first, and now I realize the field I am in is profitable (ABA) for myself + I absolutely love behavior change, psychology, and neuroscience-and it just happens to be that kids are great to work with in said fields because you see the best results. I became a first time aunt in September. I love my nephew to death and am constantly learning more and more daily about babies, their needs, and how to increase the likelihood of a child's success. The field I am in as well as being a neuro student gives me an edge. I am very excited to be a big part of his life, and I am even more excited for my other siblings to have children. I even subscribed to Lovevery so that my nephew (I was tempted to write, "My baby," because I just really love him that much) has the opportunity to play with evidence based toys to ensure he is well-developed by the time he starts school. I also love the children I work with, so much so that, if need be, I am willing to protect them and die if need be (God forbid we are ever in that situation). But do I actually want one of my own? Absolutely not. There is nothing romantic about being pregnant, birthing a child, and raising him or her. It is hard work, sweat, and grind. I realize I would bear the responsibility of another person, and that is no joke. I am personally not willing to put myself in that situation. I just don't want to and have no desire for it. The best thing about working with kids is that they get picked up, and I get to go home and enjoy myself. The best thing about being an aunt is that I can be on the sidelines, cheering them on, be encouraging, and supporting them as needed.

@diaryofthechildfree

Жыл бұрын

@@avapilsen I never really did either! I remember seeing the pregnant Barbie doll and it creeped me out! Ahh! I loved Bratz! They focused more so on the beauty and fashion aspect which was a nice alternative than the motherly aspect that got pushed with dolls. I work with children as well and similarly my first just was at a daycare as a teen because I wanted money. 😂 It was awful but it paid. I still work around kids and it really is interesting to see how they act, especially how they’re all so different. While I’m in a very different field it’s also nice that it’s only ever short periods of time and then they go home! Nieces and nephews are definitely a learning curve! I have 4 total now and I love them but it was awkward at first! I think as aunts and uncles we offer a unique position on their lives that’s different from a parental role and more of a friend to lend a hand or give advice to where they feel needed. It’s great that you say that because I’m sure people tell you or think about how well you are with children - the whole speech etc! 😂 While they can be enjoyed it’s a huge responsibility and one that takes a toll on your body, mind, and spirit.