"I'll kill her I'll feckin' kill her, where's me shatterproof ruler?" - Best call back in comedy history.

@Samld1200

2 жыл бұрын

Fine rain soaks you through

The line 'If it'd been an inch lower, it would have been instant death' always has me crying with laughter.

@wozman93

3 жыл бұрын

Same here, it’s one of my GFs favourite lines out of all of his material 🤣

@pentuplove6542

3 жыл бұрын

@@wozman93 yeh, wrong hole. Up the bum. She'll love it.

Love how he takes the Mickey out of his mate Paddy McGuinness 🤣🤣

any teachers in tonight? ay, ay, don't shout! Put your hands up! one rule for you......

@terrortower666

3 жыл бұрын

Always double standards with teachers.

@luketalbot7253

3 жыл бұрын

@@terrortower666 in primary we had a teacher who always drank Diet Coke in lesson when we weren’t allowed fizzy drinks it was torture

Can I just pity the poor teachers at Mount St Joseph High School having both Peter and Paddy at the same time.

@genokemp2433

2 жыл бұрын

i would have took on The ruler every day , to spend the time with them two .Laughing Endlessly at school ,would have made it for me .Sod the job 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@andybrown169

Жыл бұрын

Paddy lives off Peter’s fame , not funny and never will be.

@MegaHooper25

Жыл бұрын

@@andybrown169 - Never knew you felt so strongly about it Andrew!

@toreneighdough8345

Жыл бұрын

@@MegaHooper25 its always the Andys making the Andrews look bad. SMH lol

@slayaah9534

Жыл бұрын

@@andybrown169 shouldn't you be playing with buzz lightyear

“Someone’s thrown a shatterproof ruler at Carol Farrel!” cracks me up every single time.

@suavecito6582

3 жыл бұрын

no san i believe no stam so shut up now

@grease_monkey6078

3 жыл бұрын

where do you get your kicks? Casualty?

He brings a breath of fresh air to comedy, is not vulgar, swearing, smutty, needs no vile speaking to encourage laughter, just plain and down to earth reality, presented in a very lively manner

@Derulais

Жыл бұрын

Sure 7:54

@a.ivlogs2678

9 ай бұрын

Yh but vulgar swearing smutty and vile speaking are hilarious

@lanctermann7261

6 ай бұрын

Well, he is a bit smutty, but it's just a bit, he has just the right touch

@Sharon-ds2bg

9 күн бұрын

He is just a natural comedian. Far batter than any swearing or smut. Just good LOL humour.

Peter Kay is a treasure. His jokes are based around Northern working class family experiences usually from a few decades back. I hope that younger folk, Southerners and other folks around the world can catch the accent, understand the dialect and relate to the experiences because he's soooooooo funny and his humour is absolutely good-hearted, everybody should be able to access it.

"He took us on a geography field trip to the graveyard to see his wife." 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

"We had humans they weren't all nuns" - so underrated!

@suavecito6582

3 жыл бұрын

ha wow do u know they are not better off so stop with ur firles

@naomidixon4640

3 жыл бұрын

@@suavecito6582 ... what?!

@suavecito6582

3 жыл бұрын

@@naomidixon4640 remember to avoid the stick

@jonnyspeer3809

3 жыл бұрын

My

@jonnyspeer3809

3 жыл бұрын

Suave Cito I op

Love how all is comedy is based on real life times so people can actually relate to it! Brilliant!

@malahammer

3 жыл бұрын

One of the best observational-ist comics ever :)

@lennywebb6740

3 жыл бұрын

I am exactly the same age as him so I can definitely relate to everything he says.

@elephantsmemory3142

3 жыл бұрын

@@lennywebb6740 I am a lot older but I'll never forget the nuns at our school in Leeds either One of them was nice but the other one only ever happy when dishing out the cane

@lennywebb6740

3 жыл бұрын

@@elephantsmemory3142 I live in Huddersfield mate so I know Leeds well.

@jamescrowley8637

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly so.

You can watch these videos over and over again...He is still as hilarious as ever...Love Peter Kay!!!

@astragreen

Жыл бұрын

Funny? As a weight lifter with a dose of the runs in the Olympics gold championship

@Samld1200

Жыл бұрын

I’m saying every joke word for word and still crying with laughter

@NinjaChrisMainHQ169

Жыл бұрын

@@Samld1200 He is a funny guy, and his jokes will forever live on, he's one of those comedians, who doesn't mind revealing his life in a funny way

@julesw4056

Жыл бұрын

@@astragreen Have you no sense of humour?

*_"Let the thick see the table!"_* never gets old.

@Kas58223

3 жыл бұрын

Went to school with him and everything Peter Kay is such a comedic legend

@Kas58223

3 жыл бұрын

xXxJack xXx you do realise I was quoting Peter Kay saying he went to school with Paddy McGuinness

@pentuplove6542

3 жыл бұрын

@@Kas58223 I went to school with Peter as well. You were at the think table trying to get some taste of the fizzy sweets from whats-her-name? You were her boyfriend.

@JH50166

3 жыл бұрын

Pentu Plove he literally said he was quoting the video

@jackcobb2928

3 жыл бұрын

@@Kas58223 lmao I totally forgot I'm so sorry the comment has been removed sorry !

"We had real teachers, too. Humans. They weren't all nuns". Brilliant.

Bolton Legend, National Treasure!

Please come back Peter we all miss you so much. You are simply the best we all need to have a good laugh. Love you xxxx❤❤❤❤

@lorrainewadsworth6977

3 жыл бұрын

We need him to come back and help us all laugh about bloody covid and face masks and hand sanitisers... come on Peter... "YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU" !!!!!

@alisonbroadwater1929

3 жыл бұрын

Hello.... How are you doing today?

@alisonbroadwater1929

3 жыл бұрын

@@lorrainewadsworth6977 hello.... How are you doing today?

I remember a kid being told by the teacher once - "Stop muttering." He replied, "I wasn't muttering, I was talking." Teacher, "Don't argue with me." Kid, "What's the matter - can't you tell the difference between talk and mutter?" And this was at the time of the Stork margerine advert where the line was, "You can't tell the diffference between Stork and butter."

@SamuelBlack84

3 жыл бұрын

Once upon a time they would have received a crack

@markws5952

2 жыл бұрын

What happened ?

Haha, he got those teachers good with that remark about not shouting out. Superb.

This is all so relatable 😂😂😂😂 covering jotters with crappy wall paper or wrapping paper and the 1 liners teachers used to come out with 😂😂 classic 👌

@aquapony

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, we specially got one of those huge sampler wallpaper books from some shop so all 3 of us could back all our books. It was quite fun trying to find the coolest wallpaper pattern to use.

That teacher one was 👌🏻💯 Peter Kay is without a doubt the best stand up EVER he thinks of things in such a unique way

@bernicewade9796

3 жыл бұрын

Check out Kevin Bridges. He's very funny too

@pillsandthrills.399

3 жыл бұрын

Peter Kay has about 4 hours of material and he has been recycling it constantly since 1999. Do you remember Spangles, what were all that about? Peter Kay is comedy for people that aren't really into comedy. Who remembers Opal Fruits. They're Starburst now. What were all that about?

@ksportz66

3 жыл бұрын

Pills and Thrills. - I’m not into comedy so he is mega funny to me. Spangles jokes suck

@denisespeight8289

3 жыл бұрын

@@pillsandthrills.399 Mardy arse!!!

@michaeldevaney5728

11 ай бұрын

@@bernicewade9796 I believe Bernard manning is the best i have ever seen but Peter kay is brilliant also

Teachers with amnesia was so funny, “Who do you think you are?” “Who am i?” SILENCE WHEN YOUR TALKING TO ME! God i love this man, makes me proud to be a Boltoner.

It's not often I can't breath for laughing, but this was definitely one of those times. Absolutely bloody hilarious. Thank you Mr Kay.

@sharoncallanan2477

2 жыл бұрын

Omg I’m crying 🤣🤣🤣

@JonMurray

2 жыл бұрын

Agreed pal 😂

@davinastanton3865

Жыл бұрын

Me too. 😊😂😅

Just a comedic genius. His observations are uncanny. Everything he says you can relate to.

I went to a high school reunion years ago and I was the only one who turned up. What a blast...

@sub101

6 ай бұрын

It was on a Wednesday ya clown

This guy is brilliant much love and respect from South Africa

I really miss you on the TV come back soon

@JakeBWFC

3 жыл бұрын

He's ill

@soum3382

3 жыл бұрын

@@JakeBWFC what’s actually up with him tho?

@soum3382

3 жыл бұрын

@@_.-_Crimpy-_..-. bloody hell, hope not

@PazzV27

3 жыл бұрын

@@_.-_Crimpy-_..-. wasn’t it his Grandma that got I’ll, not him?

@DeimosPC

3 жыл бұрын

Both his Nana and Mother both passed within a year and it emotionally ruined him, like it would any of us. I don’t blame him if he doesn’t want to come back.. especially with the way the world is and how everything is deemed offensive nowadays

He is my all time favourite comedian. No-one touches or comes even comes close to him. I watched this concert on DVD and this part of his show literally had me laughing so hard that I began to struggle with breathing. I had to leave the room and go into my garden to try and calm my breathing, but I kept thinking of the thick table and the laughing started again. It took me a good 20 minutes to gather myself and return to watch the remainder of the DVD. I can say without any doubt, that Peter Kay is thee best comedian to grace our screens and concert stadiums. The range of characters he has created and sitcoms are just pure magic.

@ScArrD

2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely genius isn't he?

@davinastanton3865

Жыл бұрын

This is so funny. 😅😂😊

@johnwainwright1813

Жыл бұрын

Yeh Peter is great but the master of comedians was Lee Evans

@timmartin2894

Жыл бұрын

he's shite mate

@TheHungryPigeon

Жыл бұрын

@@johnwainwright1813 You're out of your mind. Lee Evans is absolutely terrible.

Guarantee everyone that didnt like Peter in school brags they were mates back in school now

@rwlynch3468

3 жыл бұрын

Many comedians seem like they were an arse as a kid. But I can't imagine Peter being unlikeable.

@user-wq5kv2hu2s

3 жыл бұрын

without a doubt

@carolinebedford9836

3 жыл бұрын

Stalwart shinobi. Without a doubt!

@goonervillegonad3662

3 жыл бұрын

RW Lynch He’s most probably always been quick witted and great at poking fun, so I imagine that without the maturity, he could well have been a charismatic verbal bully to other kids. It wouldn’t make him a dick, it’s just difficult to be humble when you’re a kid and everyone thinks your hilarious.

@Isleofskye

3 жыл бұрын

Without A Doubt

I liked teachers with amnesia "who do you think you are?" Just a legend - love him!

A total comic genius. LEGEND.

Peter’s gift of laughter has no end. His genius is amazing. Putting together an endless steam of experiences that we’ve mostly all done, and highlighting the right mental side of them, one after the other. 😎👍

@sub101

6 ай бұрын

"..endless steam" 🤷‍♂️ not right you ya know..

@markseymour8365

3 ай бұрын

@@sub101It's a typo, get over it.

@gray100

3 ай бұрын

😂​@@markseymour8365

Never a dull moment with our Peter.

Great, Peter Kay NEVER disappoints!!! "I love Teachers with Amnesia"! Every moment makes my sides hurt with laughing!! Needed this...great Medicine for the Soul...Thanks Mr Kay...Best Wishes from Germany!! 😁😁😁😁😁

OH GOD THE SPARE KIT BOX!!! smelled like decades worth of sweat 😆

I'm from Bolton and that school is definitely St Josephs, I went to the brother school run by monks... Who's bloody idea was that? 😂

The reason they made shatterproof rulers back in the Day was, the old wooden ones used to break all the time when Teachers hit you with them.

Absolute genius. Seen this so many times I can repeat it word for word. So good!

@sub101

6 ай бұрын

Nowt going on in your life then.. 🤷‍♂️

Putting your coat on, really discreetly, is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Thank you Peter Kay. Kx

I went to my 10 year school reunion in 2013, I wasn’t even going to go but a mate convinced me. Pete is absolutely right, there’s a reason I kept in touch with certain people and not others. If I didn’t like them in school when I had to see them I wasn’t going to like them 10 years later.

@billyhalliday9811

Жыл бұрын

Take it some proper arseholes haha

@SamuelBlack84

7 ай бұрын

I didn't keep in touch with anyone after I left 😅

@50angeleyes

7 ай бұрын

Very true. I saw a girl I went to school with years after I left school. Not at a reunion but she was vile to me at school and when she tried to speak to me like we were best buddies I couldn’t really be bothered.

@markseymour8365

3 ай бұрын

@@SamuelBlack84I'm glad I'm not the only one who did that.

I was in primary school in the 90s and I swear we had loads of this same stuff!! Reminding me of so much stuff I forgot haha

@vx_uk_nw

3 жыл бұрын

Seen Peter live 3 times never gets old this stuff just so relatable lol

@Isleofskye

3 жыл бұрын

I can still remember all my 40 classmates from my Primary School on S E London in 1963 when I was 9 and I communicated only last week with a Guy from my Grammar School Year in S E London from 1965 and we got 86 out of the 90 pupils in our year. LOL

@AA-hg5fk

7 ай бұрын

Yeah it's almost as if some aspects of schooling are pretty similar whenever you go!

One of Britains best.

Wish he would come back!

No matter how many times I watch he still makes me smile 💗😁

@kabes9288

2 жыл бұрын

The man

@nodafy

6 ай бұрын

Have you seen the "misheard song lyrics"? That shit has me pissing 😂

@Bobbielea94

6 ай бұрын

@@nodafy yes its hilarious 😂 he's too funny!

We were playing army round the headstones 😂😂😂

I've watched these a thousand times....and I'm still dying 😂😂😂😂😂😂

@sub101

6 ай бұрын

Your holding on then!

“SILENCE when your talking to me!” 😂😂😂

@alisonbroadwater1929

3 жыл бұрын

Hello.... How are you doing today?

@alisonbroadwater1929

3 жыл бұрын

How is your day going?

OMG. Tears of joy. Haven't laughed outloud in months! I ♥️ PK

@alisonbroadwater1929

3 жыл бұрын

Hello.... how are you doing today?

I'm sooooooooooo looking forward to Peter kays next stand up comedy tour.

@jaymalley8866

3 жыл бұрын

Here's hoping

@harrybaxter9458

3 жыл бұрын

he stopped ages aho

@vashnanerada8757

3 жыл бұрын

@@harrybaxter9458 and going back in tour

@harrybaxter9458

3 жыл бұрын

VASHNA NERADA pretty certain he isn’t he’s old now

@laughinggravy2345

3 жыл бұрын

sorry to dissapoint you but he has retired from touring

Best comedian ever love ya Mr Kay ❤

When you bump in to someone from school, who didn't give you the time of day back then, but now they try and talk to you like you were best mates. And your like, do you even remember school?

@44BlueFoxes

2 жыл бұрын

Nosy buggars adding you on facebook when you haven't spoken in 15 years. Weren't tha friend then, ain't tha friend now.

No matter how many times you watch these videos I still laugh 😂

@alisonbroadwater1929

3 жыл бұрын

Hello.... how are you doing today?

@sub101

6 ай бұрын

So to be clear no matter how much I watch these videos you still laugh 😮

Just love him and have missed him, as a teacher he doesn’t tell jokes he tells it how it is 😂😂😂😂😂😂🇬🇧

To call this hilarious would be an understatement! 😂😂😂

Beaker/ cordial , I love those words. Peter Kay's the best😂

Someone's throwing up sawdust over here 😂😂😂

Oh come back Peter, we miss you. I've never laughed so much - you're the best xx

@Girl-101

3 жыл бұрын

Nah Kevin Bridges is the better.

@Viv1398

3 жыл бұрын

@@Girl-101 Nah he isn't.

lol yeh I always wanted to be first one out, can remember putting my pencils away now! Swimming was best, it finished early, I'd be out the door like a sunbeam through a shadow and straight home to my mum, I miss her so much!

@darryldarwent3676

3 жыл бұрын

I love that expression, " I'd be outta there like a sunbeam through a shadow."

@heavensentshe6309

3 жыл бұрын

@@darryldarwent3676 Thank you, not sure how that came to me lol, from my heart probably.

This brought back many memories of my school days

School reunions…. Another brilliant show

Jason Patel! LMFAO

The packing up ritual lol. I had that down to a fine art! Given all the phrases teachers use they must have gone to the same training college with the same lecturers!

@Jchathe

3 жыл бұрын

The edging off the chair got me! I’d forgotten I used to do that, lol!

Great whenever you need a pick me up he is the medicine.Brilliant .

@lawistruth

3 жыл бұрын

Yup

@alisonbroadwater1929

3 жыл бұрын

Hello.. how are you doing today?

Sister Matic is another underrated gag

I actually have almost been ill 😂 laughing at this.

A very funny man who started building his act from about 6 years of age

You are one of the few comediens who dont make prejudice jokes and are truly comical. please come back. x

@alisonbroadwater1929

3 жыл бұрын

Hello..... How are you doing today?

I'm a teacher ,"don't shout out, put your hands up" Brilliant.

“Silence when you speak to me!” Spike Milligan

@ianmarsden1130

2 жыл бұрын

Correct.

All the great comics know how to work an audience - great to see it done so well.

One of my all-time favourites honestly, please come back to tv soon!

Oh aye back ya books woodchip 😂

Nobody does it better, Peter

5:42 to 5:49 has me in stitches every time. Hilarious 😂

“Bang , shatterproof”

Comedy genius.

*Ooh 10+ minut video, spoiling us Peter*

This guy is brilliant! I wish Netflix would put reruns of his sitcoms on here in America. Peter is by far the best comedian I have ever heard. I'm so sick of the so called comedians in the states that only know how to insult our President, and pure filth coming from their mouths. Peter is just funny, he is a gifted comedian. The UK is so lucky to have him!

@maddiedeakin-berry2324

3 жыл бұрын

Yes, yes we are 😂

@melaniekendall4903

Жыл бұрын

Thank god for that

@sub101

6 ай бұрын

He's actually American so... People only think he comes from Bolton UK. He hates presidents too. And goldfish.

This is the one I’ve been looking for! Brilliant!

When you think about it just about anybody could do this brand of comedy but this guy just mastered it before any of us?

He is so funny because every single thing he says we can relate too, have experienced ourselves, but cannot admit to.. he is our mouthpiece

Holy goat of a motherless cow i would sure like to see him on swedish soil!! UK comidians are the best there is . Ever since i saw " The hunt for the holy grail " as a youngster i have been a huge fan of UK sense of humour and it has never gone away, it get stronger the older i got and I am now in my late fourt-ish!

@sweetlikechocolate437

3 жыл бұрын

That was a classic start to your comment, Marcus! Made me chuckle.

@marcuspetersen7798

3 жыл бұрын

@@sweetlikechocolate437 thank you ! Things like that contantly pops up in my head and I'm somewhat alike Chandler Bing of the comedyshow " Friends" . If I gets into my head I just have to let it out 'cos if i don't I will probably explode and become a new planet in a furious orbit around earth...

@davidgriffithsbjjcoach7207

Жыл бұрын

Check out Billy Connolly if you haven't already:)

I remember when the technology teacher wheeled in the big TV & went in the staff cubby hole in between two classrooms for a cuppa. He came back to find that someone had switched the channel & we'd been watching Rab C Nesbitt all lesson.

@Bruce1983

2 жыл бұрын

did he say reet ya bastards

@PH_1964

2 жыл бұрын

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

@carolineturner2694

Жыл бұрын

We had the 'big telly' during English to watch Thatcher's resignation. Happy days!

We need a back to back Lee Evans and Peter kay show

😂😂😂😭😭😭 wish I'd been in his school...

Very clever and talented man

As soon as he goes on the chair as he stands up"How did I f****** get up here"🤣🤣

I can literally relate to everything he says 🤣🤣

@mykemuthukrishnar7426

3 жыл бұрын

Gffffy

legend allways in tears of laughter seeing peter kay

I don’t want to see you floating round school 😂

I always thought how lucky those kids were that were in the same class as Peter Kay because they must of all had a great time. This guys is definitely one of my favourite comedians I hope to see him on stage in the future.

@DisneyPrincess92

3 жыл бұрын

Margaret Guest you were lucky 🍀 unfortunately I got bullied all through high school and through the years of five and six it was so bad that I was transferred to a private school for a year. There was only one boy who was nice too me in year six and his name was George Beech.

@sub101

6 ай бұрын

Have you got a time machine?

@DisneyPrincess92

6 ай бұрын

@@sub101 no why have you?

@sub101

6 ай бұрын

@@DisneyPrincess92 No. I was just wondering how you planned to get to the future. Are you called Marty?

I just love this man! 🤣

These are fantastic memories, Peter.

Pure comedy gold.

The shatter proof rulers bit got me 😂😂😂😂😂

Brilliant, I was wetting myself.

“Jason Patel like tha🥴”

I love you Peter Kay....you make my life brighter....

@alisonbroadwater1929

3 жыл бұрын

Hello.... how are you doing today?

"Sister Sledge she was lost in music caught in a trap no turning back"..🤣🤣.. Fingers on lips ya missed hands on heads..😅😅.. Awwwwww come back soon Peter ya fans miss ya..😀😀.. Epic, Keep Them Coming.. Makes my day..😁😁😁

The funniest guy on the planet!!

I've been out of school for 35 years and I've never been to any of my class reunions. High school was like being in prison and I don't have any desire to see those people. I fucking hated them.

@GoodwinHD

3 жыл бұрын

Never related to a comment more

@kingrodney5143

3 жыл бұрын

We’re you bullied Paul ?

@genokemp2433

2 жыл бұрын

Paul i went to that reunion ,the girls ,more lad's if im honest🤦‍♂️ 30 years ago and some 🤦‍♂️why would í be bothered now 🤦‍♂️i married the lollipop lady 🤦‍♂️as if 🤣

@genokemp2433

2 жыл бұрын

Paul ,you are missing out trust me ,It's a shocker what people look like and great to see people you actually remember ,Only went to 2 but it's a great laugh ,i even remembered the girl who picked her nose and wiped it under the table like it was going out of fashion 🤣And she was there on the first one ..and i reminded her ,poor Lady didn't know where to look but the rest of us was in tears ,and her eventually 🤣