OP: throws salami into freezer bag to contain stench Salami: *you are not a clown, you are the entire circus*

@RandomGirl.RandamuOn-nanoko

3 жыл бұрын

Is that an Ace Attorney meme I see?

@thebestcentaur

3 жыл бұрын

@@RandomGirl.RandamuOn-nanoko indeed it is

@tomdean1876

3 жыл бұрын

You are not the circus, you are the entire comedic industry. It's not my joke, but it's too good to pass up.

@RandomGirl.RandamuOn-nanoko

3 жыл бұрын

I see it all the time, being in the Ace Attorney fandom, but I wasn't sure if it was original to Ace Attorney. VL

@LucyAdroit

3 жыл бұрын

LOL, that reference, though

"This displeases the salami" Has got to be the single funniest string of words I've ever heard

@lithuanianguy1799

3 жыл бұрын

The displeased salami grows in displeasement with every action.

@theend475

3 жыл бұрын

Woke up laughing 😂😂😂

@polski_dezerter

3 жыл бұрын

no amount of breathing can contain the laughter within

@bodaciousdoggo8971

3 жыл бұрын

“The displeased salami grows eager”

@liviwaslost

3 жыл бұрын

New sentence

"The displeased salami becomes eager" best out of context quite I've ever heard

That cashier in that first story was asking for that stench; it's exactly what she gets for stating a policy that wasn't even there in the first place, something OP knew since they worked there before.

@sophiatroanska1432

3 жыл бұрын

Policy could’ve changed after the fact 🤷🏽‍♀️

@RiptoGakt

3 жыл бұрын

@@sophiatroanska1432 Wouldn't that have depended on whether it was valid or not? I mean sure, OP could have been much more upfront and direct about the salami stinking really bad but the cashier did bring this one upon themselves for clinging to this with no room for leeway or flexibility.

OP in the salami story is a master story teller he should become a writer, his description of the stinky salami were amazing.

@Timbeclownin

3 жыл бұрын

I literally came to the comments to write this myself xD

@lamarshealey3332

3 жыл бұрын

True

@DragonEmperorMycen

3 жыл бұрын

10/10 would read again

@polski_dezerter

3 жыл бұрын

had me laughing the entire time

@Jennifer_MB

3 жыл бұрын

Absolutely!! It was riveting lol

"Even the karen behind me pulled her mask over her nose" 😂😂💀💀

@lindakristiani151

3 жыл бұрын

Karens in a nutshell

@GalaxyTGW

3 жыл бұрын

when a karen uses the make just to away from the stinky salami... you know it could legally be classified as a chemical/bioweapon

@silverstreak227

Жыл бұрын

It's been proven that constant mask wearing does far more harm than good

The salami story was a true work of art. The personification of the salami, the metaphors, the hyperbole... truly beautiful.

First story: You forgot the part where he had to finish tasks before store close. I worked in a sub shop and it was normal towards the end of the day for one of us to handle customers while the other did end-of-day tasks.

@hunterjardine7148

3 жыл бұрын

My store is way different, if there’s little to no customers we will do that, but if there’s over like 4-7 or more then we’re all expected to drop everything and help the customers even if we have to stay after close to do our tasks. I’m always hearing “ help the customer first “ from my managers. I feel like everywhere is different though.

@galacticbob1

3 жыл бұрын

Everywhere retail/hospitality that I've worked has a 2-3 customer in line policy. It has way more to do with perception than the actual time spent in line by the customers. When you see 6 people in line in front of you, and some employee is just puttering around with the stock, it's not a good look. Any manager worth the title would have told OP to go jump on the register. I'm SOOO glad that she had to go to the back of the line, though. Line skippers are the worst! 😆

@justin09756

3 жыл бұрын

@@galacticbob1 thing is that sometimes managers get/raise hell over extra time spent closing, in which case that Could be why OP was doing it before close. I know i had issues like that with places ive worked, though i havent worked retail

@ThatRPGuywithtoomanyOCs

3 жыл бұрын

My managers prefer the store to close on time and let the customers wait an extra couple minutes. IF the store isn't closed on time, they get chewed out by the regional people. Even if someone gets pissed, there's a low chance they actually file a complaint. After 7 it's one register while all the other workers stock and clean.

@RockingRhythmsJo

3 жыл бұрын

In my store we have only one register open for the last like 2 hours of operation so the store can be cleaned, reset and also reduces risk of late night robberies. I wouldn't have opened the register back up.

The dude from the first story should start writing horror storys. He could make a fortune if he writes those storys like he wrote that salami description xD

@deniseeulert5220

3 жыл бұрын

For a monster I visualized the salami developing teeth and claws, like the Monster Book of Monsters, from Harry Potter.

@RiptoGakt

3 жыл бұрын

That salami sounds like something that can potentially graduate from Goosebumps' "It came from beneath the sink" straight up to Tripple-A Horror story quality.

@vitalirogel5938

3 жыл бұрын

It was so extra and kind of annoying but for a horror story, it would be good

@j.j.juggernaut9709

3 жыл бұрын

I think he would be amazing at comedy as well

@sophiatroanska1432

3 жыл бұрын

But only about mundane experiences. That would make a lot of money

I think the importance of the “title” for most people is for their resume. I feel like those could be used to get a better job else where. But so does having a pay raise.

@Micras08

3 жыл бұрын

Thing is though, that on a resume you can write any old title down, as long as it actually describes WHAT you did at the company. So instead of writing "Garbage man" you could write "Sanitation worker". Or instead of "Secretary" you could write "Administrative Assistant". As long as you don't outright lie on your CV you are totally free to pull the "narrative" in any direction you chose, as long as you can back that up with contacts and show of skill there's no reason not to do that either.

@MrAcheivable

3 жыл бұрын

@@Micras08 I mean technically you can lie on the resume as well but the closer to what you've done the title is the less likely they'll call you on it lol... But you shouldn't lie on it, but should give yourself a title that shows the highest point in your job for better prospects

@ScarletSerenade

3 жыл бұрын

Hey there! Friendly HR professional here to weigh in. Titles both are and aren’t arbitrary because 1) Yes, they’re made up according the the Corporate World’s rules BUT 2) Recruiters look at previous job titles you’ve held to judge whether or not you’re eligible for the role you’re applying for. Example: your title could be “XYZ administrator” but if you’re technically a “specialist” that’s a step up. Also, most companies check with your company (this is called an “employment verification”) regarding what your previous job title was. It definitely looks good if your company is reporting the same thing as your resume as you may get a few extra questions from the recruiter if they don’t match. Also, certain job titles are eligible for different types of pay (including bonuses) based on the 1) language within the company And 2) general Corporate terms that are current in today’s job market That being said, Emperor of the Internet is hilarious.

@SomeUniqueHandle

3 жыл бұрын

Your title will affect how people talk to you. Someone with the title Sr Developer will be listened to far more often than Jr Developer. If you have to deal with some a-hole who starts ranting, "Who the f do you think you are?!?" the title you have could be the difference between getting him to shut up or dealing with even more abuse.

@rpgspree

3 жыл бұрын

I think you just answered the question, why the hell did so many people suddenly care about titles? They were looking to leave and wanted as good of a title as they could get on their resume. Doesn't bode well at all... LOL

The way OP told his salami story is a masterpiece worthy of the most coveted academy award in the universe! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

When he said the salami became his new best friend and imagined their life together, I looked back at the title and thought "...do I really want to hear the rest of this??"

oh grand emperor of the internet, please accept our sacrifices

@geeky8693

3 жыл бұрын

Lmao

@somescottishlassie891

3 жыл бұрын

Sacrifice sacrifice

@blockyhour4224

3 жыл бұрын

@@somescottishlassie891 SACRIFICE, SACRIFICE

@Bladedcloud6159

3 жыл бұрын

tallima! tallima!!

@channelemex_private570

3 жыл бұрын

@@blockyhour4224 SACRIFICE, SACRIFICE, SACRIFICE, SACRIFICE

That thumbnail made me have a stroke. I've briefly resurrected myself to watch this video so I know why that thumbnail exists so I can die in peace.

@evanmootoo-szypulewski3693

3 жыл бұрын

@Damon Cord and the gengis khan stench

@TidanLikida

3 жыл бұрын

Er...what kind stroke? Not...that kind...I hope. It would be very weird to have that kind of stroke to it.

@Unknown-2449

3 жыл бұрын

@@TidanLikida I do not know what kind of stroke you are talking about.

@TidanLikida

3 жыл бұрын

@@Unknown-2449 I was making a joke about stroking your...er...salami.

@VELIkiq8

3 жыл бұрын

Have you listened to powerWolf :Resurrection?

rSlash reads stories so well that it took me a moment to realise I just listened to an entire story of a super normal inconvenience: 'Gross, this food is off- could I get a refund? You want to smell it to confirm? Ah, yeah, it's pretty foul right? Alright, I'm not going to put it in the bag again- bye'

@nanwijanarko1969

3 жыл бұрын

Don't forget the writing skill of the original poster too.

Everyone let’s now call Rslash “The grand emperor of the internet” for the rest of entirety.

@byno3862

3 жыл бұрын

He should change his Channel name to "The Grand Emperor of the Internet" XD

@zth4044

3 жыл бұрын

Agreed

@baconwooper6555

3 жыл бұрын

Nah

@pozitron7242

3 жыл бұрын

@@baconwooper6555 how dare you disrespect the lord!!

@LucyAdroit

3 жыл бұрын

I think you mean "eternity" XD

All praise the Grand Emperor of the Internet

@evanmootoo-szypulewski3693

3 жыл бұрын

Lord RSlash will u thee grand emperor of the internet bless me with thy power

@ivorycxxxx

3 жыл бұрын

All praise the Grand Emperor of the Internet

@Nobody_Fn_Important

3 жыл бұрын

All Hail the Grand Emporer, As it was typed out, so shall it be virtualized.

@reddragonflames1632

3 жыл бұрын

All shall hail thy Grand Emperor or thall heads shall be cut off!

@teaelliott911

3 жыл бұрын

ALL HAIL THE GREAT ONE!

Man Op is describing his salami story with the skill of a professional writer 👏 🤣

@treverobrien5578

3 жыл бұрын

I covered my nose just hearing it 😂

@natalieleske8382

3 жыл бұрын

@@treverobrien5578 lol ikr! Like 🤢😅

@Nerobyrne

3 жыл бұрын

I hope OP gets a book published soon, or something like that. They're amazing at writing! My ex makes a middle-class income just writing social media texts for photographers. You'd be surprised how valued writing is, even if you're not writing actual books.

@CitrineYT

3 жыл бұрын

Yes op is making no money with being a good fighter right now. I'm making no money as a detective/moderator for a discord server. Legit, my fellow mods prematurely banned a member of the server and I quickly solved the case. Quickly being 4-5 hours as some involved were offline. It was a harrassment accusation made by a friend of a supposed victim and the victim hadn't ever been on the server.

@Nerobyrne

3 жыл бұрын

@@CitrineYT some heroes don't wear capes

“The displeased salami becomes eager” AND YOU HAD TO REMIND ME WHAT SALAMI WAS SLANG FOR BEFORE YOU SAID THAT *_”yeah, i bet it does~😏”_*

Can we just take a moment to appreciate how beautifully op told the salami story it had me on the edge of my seat through it all

I just read the title and was like "heh, nice euphemism"

@rSlash

3 жыл бұрын

LOL it's not a euphamism! It's literally about a stinky salami What did you think the story was about? Get your mind out of the gutter! 🤦‍♂️

@pocketdragon8469

3 жыл бұрын

@@rSlash it’s Reddit, you never know.

@thebestcentaur

3 жыл бұрын

@@rSlash I know, 'twas a joke😬

@thebestcentaur

3 жыл бұрын

@@pocketdragon8469 exactly🤣

@knowgodknowpeaceeee

3 жыл бұрын

@@rSlash HAHAHA

All hail the Grand Emperor of the Internet

@friedchicken3

3 жыл бұрын

I read that as "ALL HAIL THE EMPIRE"

The mental health story: Were they expecting the OP's doctor to not take his side?

@ScooterBond1970

3 жыл бұрын

A lot of people don't take mental health issues seriously, they're prolly all "O yur makkin it up"

@catelynh1020

3 жыл бұрын

I once told my manager that i'd likely take a day off for mental health and ended up actually getting sick because i'd pushed myself too hard. He saw that i'd basically taken a long weekend and assumed i'd played sick for the day off. I don't think he really understood what i meant when i said i was in a burnout leaning towards break down. I was essentially one of 2 closers while they were hiring, so the best i could do was ensure i had fridays off for a little. This was final year of college (full time), nearing final exams, and me working max hours as part time with manager level duties but not manager pay.

Portraying the salami as a sentient being is just tearing at my sides

I honestly think that dude in number one bought sopressata slices, they are a shelf-stable type of salami but they taste like boiled buttholes and will kill anyone within Striking Distance by stench alone. 😂

@zrspangle

2 жыл бұрын

Sopressata is good though

@Jennifer_MB

2 жыл бұрын

@@zrspangle grrrrrr you sound like my brother! I will gag, and I'm not a picky eater lol.

@zrspangle

2 жыл бұрын

@@Jennifer_MB maybe it's just an acquired taste

@Jennifer_MB

2 жыл бұрын

@@zrspangle I think you're right!

@toriibarlow

Жыл бұрын

I've had shelf stable salami and it should not be so bad like op described. Sometimes they just go bad

9:02 Yeah. At my store we have a "three in line" policy, if there's more than three people in line the main cashier HAS to page for backup.

@NovaExplosesa

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah we had that too, but no one ever listened. So we just had to suffer. That’s why I left being a cashier and moved to a different department. But I never was able to fully leave that area. They’d force me to cover shifts and breaks. (It’s not a cashier position but a front end operations personal and I don’t have any of the codes to do most of the things that job entails)

@artsyducky3142

3 жыл бұрын

Our managers don’t have us forced to the front unless it’s absolutely necessary, they treat floor departments separate to the cashier end. It’s the head cashiers responsibility to make sure they got enough people scheduled on the front to man the registers. So I kinda get where the guys coming from. If we don’t have our night tasks done and ready to go we get chewed out because then that backs up night stock crew and MST night crew.

@snowscorvids186

3 жыл бұрын

Same. My managers would have been livid if I was stocking shelves with 7 people in line, livid to the point of booting me out the door lol.

@justagirl7094

3 жыл бұрын

@@artsyducky3142 yeah but OP didn't seem to mind not getting the nightly stuff done when it came to punishing the customer for not wanting to wait. Not saying that the customers behavior was ok, but OP's wasn't much better.

@mr.pluppy8240

3 жыл бұрын

@@justagirl7094 its r/maliciouscompliance, are u seriously chastising op for being petty????

the first story was written like it has one of these tom and jerry no lyric songs that were made with violins, amazing writing by OP btw

love those stories of "oh if you want three days off I need a doctor's note" and the doctor gives them two weeks.

All hail the "Grand Master of the Internet"

The first story was an emotional rollercoaster. Still surprised the salami wasn't a euphenism 😳

The fudge why is there a salami commercial/ad on 4:35 HAHAHAH. the timing is so good HAHAHA

The third story: OP is too kind. I'm almost that kind and I would quit right away if I ask for time to rest and is denied.

I for one welcome our grand emperor of the internet, Rslash

That salami story is epic! The OP should start writing a book if he's that great telling a story.

I can see the head lines now: "KZreadr causes chaos at Internet company." "KZreadr's fans cause country wide service blackout." "Will this KZreadr's reign of terror EVER end!?" XD

The only reasons I could think of when it comes to getting a better title would be: 1. Ego Inflation 2. Resumes for future jobs. “Senior Developer” looks a bit more impressive than “programmer”

The flavor text for the first story is just amazing lmao

Day 1 of telling rSlash that we wanna see his doggo more.

@potatospeedwagon3994

3 жыл бұрын

More Yugo would be delightful.

@TKUA11

3 жыл бұрын

There are Plenty of dog channels to watch. This is not one of them

@gabrielk2866

3 жыл бұрын

Tk Ua, agreed. If you wanna watch funny cute dog moments, there are thousands on the internet.

@TheDirtyHotSnakes

3 жыл бұрын

@@TKUA11 considering puppy bloopers was an ongoing segment... you're wrong 💩

@hellfrost9627

3 жыл бұрын

@@TKUA11 but none of them are Yugo

The salami story craked me up so hard i woke up my parents

I had no idea YOU were the Grand Emperor of the Internet all along, Rslash. Now, however, I shall bow to you as our leader.

Who else just waits for Rslash because you know what time his videos upload? lol

@ashielilystar6134

3 жыл бұрын

me, but I can never watch it on time TwT

@maes-9979

3 жыл бұрын

His uploads and when I leave for work are around the same time so I like to listen when I drive to work

@reddiamond6524

3 жыл бұрын

I dont need to. It's uploaded by the time i get out of work. Makes a great after work activity. :)

@abbierubletz3904

3 жыл бұрын

rslash uploads at 7AM local time here... my workday starts at 8AM so it's perfect timing for my pre-work routine :)

@yurikoir

3 жыл бұрын

He uploads at 8am, where I’m at. If i wake up earlier, i get in a bad mood just because i don’t get to listen to him while getting ready 😅

All hail the grand emperor of the internet

@vivian-alexandrarivers897

3 жыл бұрын

All hail!

@overprocuz7289

3 жыл бұрын

All hail!

@kevintello3675

3 жыл бұрын

All hail

@ireallydontcare-_-1995

3 жыл бұрын

All hail!

@zixinhe2326

3 жыл бұрын

All hail!

Me screaming “JUST OPEN THE FREAKING SALAMI!”

The dude from the salami story has more artistic prowess in his writing than my college art professor

To be honest, you really are the grand emperor of the internet. If everyday I on average spend 15 minutes listening to what you have to say, that means that, per year, I'll spend 3.80208333333 days (24h days) dedicated to you. All hail rSlash LOL.

Grand emperor of the internet😂😂 I lost it

Your eminence, this lowly one misses your R/Puppy bloopers and humbly request that you enlighten us upon the health of grown up puppy.

The person who wrote the salami story has a gift for colorful, descriptive writing!! 🤣 I was DYING! So well written! 👍🏼

Thanks for telling me this Grand Emperor of the Internet

Job tittles can benefit you in many ways Applying for loans Getting cheaper car insurance Applying for new jobs

Agreed! While working retail, our policy was call for more cashiers when they're more than 3 people in line.

Intactburrito should write a sitcom. I'd watch it. Especially if he opens with that story!

Oh great Grand Emperor of the Internet! Thank you for granting us a video everyday! LOL!

Those dislikes are from the salami and Karens

@blitsriderfield4099

3 жыл бұрын

the salami IS a Karen

“I am Thee Grand Emperor of the Internet” Tell us something we didn’t already know

I worked at a "convenience store" (they don't consider themselves a convenience store) and we had to greet EVERY customer with a hi. Also if there were more than 3 people in line. That is how you keep customers happy and coworkers.

I hope y'all are having a good morning!

@bigmemvb

3 жыл бұрын

its 3 pm for me, but yes i had a good morning

@Ex0rknight

3 жыл бұрын

You know what, you too!

@livm8385

3 жыл бұрын

@@bigmemvb oh. Well, I hope you have a good rest of your day!

@kitkatkarebear11

3 жыл бұрын

well, technically, yeah (it's 12:22 am lol)

@naldo_obt57

3 жыл бұрын

Thx you too

On a serious note I am so sorry that college student can't even buy proper food :(

Ayyyy rSlash worked at subway, that’s where I work. Also, how can you not enjoy his videos? He reads them perfectly, I love his commentary, and he leaves great advice when people needs them. Love love love

The story with doctors note, I feel that!! I've been sick for some years now and when it all started I was working my arse off trying to please everyone and one day I was so sick I had to drive myself to the ER just to have to have immediate emergency surgery to remove my gallbladder and then proceeded to be in icu for weeks at a time for 5 years. When I found some great new doctors and got offered a different job, things for alot better. But it took me having to protect myself with filing for fmla, but none of the bosses understood how fmla worked and gave me backwards rules rather than calling hr. My new boss made sure I was on fmla and she called hr to know how it works. Seriously amazing what one company has in different departments. I hope the girl in the story is doing better and has protected herself. If companies would cue their employees they may have better reputations. Just a thought...

The only reason titles matter is that if you change companies, that title can affect the pay you get. So, let’s say at company A, a manager makes $40,000 a year and a senior manager makes $40,500 a year. At company B, a manager might make $40,000 and a senior manager $50,000. Suddenly, that title really matters. Edit: typo

Salami is just like a nightmare dressed like a day dream

"I'm sorry old pal, poppa needs some meat."

The first story went from Malicious Compliance to Creative Writing so fast!

Ngl the first story looks like something that came directly from an anime, it probably exists too.

Titles are incredibly important when you've got a business profession and work in a corporate job to not only help you get better pay in another company, but it opens up your eligibility for a wider range of roles, helps with loans, being accepted to open a lease. Course not all jobs are like that, but it's really bad advice to give young viewers to disregard how important titles are.

I raise a motion to forever call rSlash the Grand Emperor of the Internet and that we keep this a running gag for years to come.

"The displeased salami becomes eager..." That whole story was something else. That dude should write comedy if he doesn't already!

RSlash is legally required to change his KZread Channel name to include Grand Emperor of the Internet

Day 37 of telling him he's making everyone day better

@Zelex09

3 жыл бұрын

😇

@-castus-

3 жыл бұрын

@@Zelex09 bh

@angeliki5135

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for keeping count as I lost track

He truly is the grand emporer he has been in my head nearly 8 hours a day for 2 years. He is my favorite thing to listen too while working.

I love the way OP describes his devilishly smelly salami. With much personification

@RiptoGakt

2 жыл бұрын

I love his internal thoughts about the cashier "stating policy" (which doesn't actually exist) where, come the fateful moment, he was clearly thinking along the lines of "Okay, fine lady, but don't say I didn't warn your stubborn ass before this monstrosity is unleashed."

Day 6 of asking rslash to censor curse words with Yugo's bark.

@AsherUniverse

3 жыл бұрын

I second this movement

@livm8385

3 жыл бұрын

I support this

@tut.u

3 жыл бұрын

I also second this

@thewolfoflight5780

3 жыл бұрын

*bork bork BORKX BQRK BERK* translates to, yes I accept this movement

@Meringuesnake

3 жыл бұрын

Yes. YES. *Yesss*

why so much MaliciousCompliance lately? Cant you do one of the subreddits you havent covered in a while? Like TalesFromTechSupport, TalesFromRetail, TreeLaw, or even NiceGuys or NiceGirls, for example?

@RiveroftheWither

3 жыл бұрын

Hes focusing on the subreddits that update the most frequently because he's tired of people complaining about repeat stories. You know since people expect him to remember what he talked about 20+ episodes ago. The options are 1. You accept the subreddits he choose. 2. People stop complaining about him once in awhile making a mistake and having a repeat story. 3. He has less frequent uploads so that the subreddits can fill up with more new stories. Or you can just be a Karen

@WizBunny3

3 жыл бұрын

Honestly yeah but anything other than r/aita is a godsend

@mariposa9506

3 жыл бұрын

@@RiveroftheWither Or a commenter can just make a simple request as they are not responsible for other people's complaints and not be dictated to by a Karen who thinks it is they and not rSlash who is the grand emperor of the internet as well as the comment police.

@Nerobyrne

3 жыл бұрын

@@WizBunny3 what, that's my favourite ^.^ I guess we're all different.

@ravenbloom6732

3 жыл бұрын

@@WizBunny3 Agreed. r/AITA is painful to listen to sometimes because those stories are almost always the same: the Karen who thinks they're right but is obviously TA, the doormat who thinks they're TA when they're obviously NTA, or scenarios where everyone is TA. Personally, I wish he'd do more r/AskReddits about dumb people -- those never get old.

I think, between "this displeased the salami greatly" and "The Grand Emperor Of The Internet" this is the best video on your channel.

I have to agree with RSlash on the second story. In the convenience stores I go to, they basically get a second cashier as soon as a line has 3 or more people. I've actually seen the training signs that state this in some stores. Doesn't matter what they're doing, they have to come and make sure the line doesn't stretch half-way through the store.

All hail rSlash the grand emperor of the internet.

Here come my daily dose of rlash

I love the story of the salami can anyone else picture this ravenous beasts like just sitting in the bag ready to rip somebody's face off with it's stench 😂😂😂😂 too funny I have to wonder if OP is either majoring in creative writing or acting 🤣

8:56 Hard agree. There's nothing more frustrating than being in a long slow line at the supermarket and seeing the employees ignoring it. The place closest to me is a chain called "Netto". Their policy is that a maximum of 6 customers can be in line before opening another register.

Nothing better than math class and r/slash in the morning

@2legit811

3 жыл бұрын

Lol spring break gang get rekt

@godsfailedproject2805

3 жыл бұрын

English for me, but same.

And good morning to my favorite reddit boy! Edit: BEWARE THE WRATH OF THE SALAMI

I'm going to start saying "This displeases the salami" to people out of context in online games. That line is just perfection.

OMG! The first story was soooooo funny! That guy can definitely paint a very vivid picture with his words

All hail the “Grand Emperor of The Internet” XD

Grand Emperor of the Internet I like it! Let us fight over this title till the end of time.

The salami 🤣😂🤣😂 One of the best stories I've ever heard!!!

Got to love how the salami story’s poster made it a real interesting story

Titles are complete garbage. So sayeth the grand empower of the internet.

Cursed thumbnail

The redditer with the salami story is absolute legend of a story-teller

The salami story was awesome.. that OP needs a book deal! 🤣😂🤣😂

day 2 of commenting Shrek until @rSlash reply

I am a podcast listener. I came here to KZread, to this episode, just because of the smelly salami part. I just want to say, that is one of the best written stories I’ve ever read. Honestly amazing. The personification is amazing.

Retail Worker here, our policy is that if there are more than 3 in a queue we HAVE to open another till. It looks extremely bad to have so many people lined up. Sure, it might slow down working stock, but it's about providing good customer service.

@justagirl7094

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah, If the story was true, that worker isn't gonna last long. I mean, she's not even my employee and I want to write her up.

The way the first Conrad explained the salami “foul demon” “displeases the salami” it’s just too funny

I'm mildly convinced the Salami was self-aware..... And OP was still feeling the after effects of its anger

That first story hits really close to home, I feel OP's emotions when you see something too good to be true for food especially if all you had was bread and peanut butter for a week 😅

I genuinely felt the original connection between the salami and OP. Ps: This OP should go into theatre.