Command: "Total War is authorized" Human soldiers: *lights joint wrapped in the Geneva convention* "hail to the king, baby"

@KertaDrake

Жыл бұрын

Human 1: "Napalm in the morning?" Human 2: "Napalm in the morning." Both Humans: "Smells like victory."

Human: "Diplomacy?" Draxian: "No diplomacy!" Draxian: "Why do I hear boss music?"

@AgroSquerril

2 жыл бұрын

brown pants time

@hollyferay8131

2 жыл бұрын

Haha

@sans_theskeleton

2 жыл бұрын

I have another question, do you wanna have a bad time?

@danielwols

2 жыл бұрын

@@hollyferay8131 it has a translation to English, the translation simply stating lol

@CT-1035

2 жыл бұрын

The negotiations were short

It's called "Agressive Negotiations". War is simply diplomacy through alternate means.

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

that it is

@veryangryduckpl2122

2 жыл бұрын

Star wars episode 2 refference?

@greenrena8503

2 жыл бұрын

@@veryangryduckpl2122 Carl von Clausewitz: "On War", if I remember correctly.

@veryangryduckpl2122

2 жыл бұрын

@@greenrena8503 Facepalms* You call this diplomatic solution? No, these are aggresive negotiations.

Desperate xeno diplomat: "Please provide assistance, by any means necessary" Humans: "Once more, for the record, that's ANY means?" Diplomat: "Yes, ANY MEANS!" Humans: *Nod and proceed to provide assitance by eliminating threat with extreme prejudice.* Diplomat: "Aww, fuck."

@mr.k4918

2 жыл бұрын

speak softly and carry a nuclear powered thermo nuclear tipped stick.

@mechadrake

Жыл бұрын

well, you got to use proper wording in diplomacy. And the enemy understands only force

Solians say: so you like to war? Let’s teach you why war is a bad thing Zeno say: why did I just Defecate ?

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

bring me my brown pants!

Aliens: "No diplomacy!" Humans: "So ... you have chosen Death!"

@TheJMPD

6 ай бұрын

They should have chosen cake.

Speek softly and Carry superior fire power.

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

seems like a good idea

@anthonymedina9425

3 жыл бұрын

Speak softly and carry the biggest BOOM stick

@dantreadwell7421

3 жыл бұрын

Peace through Superior Firepower.

@patricklechtenberg3173

3 жыл бұрын

No problem can't be solved with sufficient application of high explosive

@seiboldtadelbertsmiter3735

2 жыл бұрын

Speak softly and carry a big stick. (Theodore Roosevelt).

So a dog an ape and a human walk into an office... that sounds like the start of a joke

@prisoner6266

3 жыл бұрын

The punchline is guaranteed to have the room explode into paroxysms of laughter

@robertbemis9800

3 жыл бұрын

Why no kitty kitties?

@vincentvalashu

2 жыл бұрын

@@robertbemis9800 They couldn't be arsed. Why send assassins for a pack animal meeting?

@Sumzja

2 жыл бұрын

So we elevated dogs and apes to sapience because we wanted friends?

@robertbemis9800

2 жыл бұрын

@@Sumzja yes we would

If force is not solving your issues, you're not using enough of it.

There is a reason we layout Terms of War between factions. It is not to protect us from you, it is to protect You from us.

SOLution has SOL in it. There are no mistakes.

@Caldoric

3 жыл бұрын

I was gonna say...

The four words every alien diplomat or military official will regret ever saying to a human: "By any means necessary".

@AgroSquerril

2 жыл бұрын

run ruuuuuuuuuuuun

@mr.k4918

2 жыл бұрын

we launched nuclear ramjet missiles carrying MIRVs at the enemy didnt we? (edit plural it wasn't just one missile we launched a few hundred)

@KertaDrake

Жыл бұрын

@@mr.k4918 And they are lucky we didn't feel like taking the effort to load up half the final stages with bioweapons and antimatter instead of the good ol' reliable plutonium that day.

@mr.k4918

Жыл бұрын

@@KertaDrake i mean whats the point of bio weapons when the exaust from one missile alone is gonna spread enough fallout to contaminate half the planet?

@mattbrown5511

9 ай бұрын

Unleash the Dogs of War!

The answer to the last question is, "Made sure it is a very long time before another aggressor fails to respond properly to a harshly written note."

Just to be sure here, ANY means necessary? *A few minutes of repeated confirmation later* Hey Hanz, get the flammenwaffer 9000. Also, charge up the BFG 10,000. The Space UN told us to do anything necessary to win.

I love that the Terran Envoy consists of Dogman, Manman, and Gorillaman.

The Sol Delegation are missing Catgirls. You need Catgirl liasons / secretaries dammit.

@MournfulTyrant

Жыл бұрын

Catssassins.

@garysprandel1817

Жыл бұрын

The kitties are more comfortable with the black ops wet works stuff not so much diplomacy. Well diplomacy that isn't the sitting somewhere up to a mile away with a rifle, scope and spotter kind.

Good old gun boat diplomacy

Fun fact, "Blitzkrieg" is a made up term mostly used for propaganda purposes. The actual military term for such a doctrine is Bewegungskrieg which translates into "war of movement".

@N1korasu

3 жыл бұрын

Lightning War sounds cooler though

@dantreadwell7421

3 жыл бұрын

Hence propaganda.

@angrydragonslayer

3 жыл бұрын

Nerd

@lordpfeiffer8490

2 жыл бұрын

BlitzKrieg was what the usa offical called the german war of movement. as well hitler himself refer to it as blitzkreig and acutally didn't like the older name for it which is Bewegungskrieg. Because it wasn't catchy enough. And forced his generals to use the word Blitzkrieg when dealing with him.

@angrydragonslayer

2 жыл бұрын

@@lordpfeiffer8490 NERRRRRRDDDDD

Never .... EVER give cart blanc to the beings who are the masters of war to resolve a situation.

@Gilhelmi

2 жыл бұрын

Xeno leader: We........ We didn't know......... How could we have known? They have always been so peaceful....... How? How?.................... Why didn't I ask more questions? I should have asked me questions. (Excerpt taken from the psychologist notes after his mental breakdown.)

@KertaDrake

Жыл бұрын

@@Gilhelmi "How could we have known that they had been stockpiling nuclear weapons by the tens of thousands every year since they made their homeworld a radioactive wasteland, let alone design their entire military force around using them all in an alpha strike?!"

Terrans gonna Terran.

Don't normally comment but this has to be my favourite hfy story I've heard, great narration too!

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

glad you enjoyed

@kellyknowsdayway6517

10 ай бұрын

​@AgroSquerril is there more?

Off to engage in humanity's favorite psss time, blowing shit up...

@AgroSquerril

2 жыл бұрын

kaboom

Diplomacy, with full phaser banks and all torpedoes loaded.

The reason Sol Natives are so good at diplomacy, is because they are far, far, FAR better at war... and so they developed their diplomatic skills to match to avoid war by speaking first. Because no Sol natives WANT a war with other Sol natives. They know how terrible they are. The last big Sol Native war cost them their homeworld.

Man I hope we get better at diplomacy before our planet becomes a radioactive wasteland

@williambarnes5023

2 жыл бұрын

I'll settle for being on Mars when it happens. There's a lot of Earth governments that need to go.

@mechadrake

Жыл бұрын

in 2022: welp...

Humans make peace because we are very good at war.

March on for the algorithm!

@reasonablehiccups4792

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

if i can do it from my chair then i agree!

good species do not need rules today is the day to find out why we need them

Do it our way or else. Is the very foundation of diplomacy. The or else can be military, economic, or cultural.

that was one hell of a story ! FTA !

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm

Why in the algorithm am I still awake? 😴

@Gilhelmi

2 жыл бұрын

It has been over a year now. You should get some sleep. (I love dad jokes)

@hanzzel6086

Жыл бұрын

​@@GilhelmiOver 2yrs, I really hope he's had at least a nap.

@atathesteelcrownedqueen8070

3 ай бұрын

Yeah, I should be in bed too, this is three years later.

4:15 Quooooote

So doggos, human?, not sure what the third species is.

@beingsneaky

2 жыл бұрын

Gorilla?? Chimp??

@johnnyrotten3175

4 ай бұрын

Since it's described as larger than a human, must be a gorilla or an orangutan

For the algorithm and its profit.

@reasonablehiccups4792

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm

@grossteilfahrer

3 жыл бұрын

@@AgroSquerril Cheers!

Thank you for the reading

What are the 2 other teran species? I think one of them is an uplifted chimpanzee but what's the other one?

@notafrisbee5907

3 жыл бұрын

Dunno, but all 3 could be human. Couple hundred years of seperate development in a time when genetic engineering is advanced can change the appearances a lot.

@stalwartteakettlepotato9879

3 жыл бұрын

@@notafrisbee5907 that's also possible

@shadowstalker130666

3 жыл бұрын

Id suspect either unlifted wolf or dog. Definately canine.

@spacetechempire510

3 жыл бұрын

@@notafrisbee5907 may be. We may of uplifted the chimps and gene edit our selfs with knine dna.

@firstnamelastname7124

3 жыл бұрын

@@spacetechempire510 so we made furrys real time to make an AI to kill all organic life so that shit doesn't happen

At first I thought my headphones are broken thanks for the scare😅

Well I hope we don't do that to our Earth

@pavelZhd

3 жыл бұрын

Well... We kind of are. Firstly - our total disregard to climate change Then there are nukes. Our current total nuke count is estimated to be enough to glass the whole planet half-dozen times over. And don't be fooled by the idea that a country can shoot down all enemy nukes and thus survive. A desperate enough nuke-wielding nation can detonate enough nukes on its own territory to carpet the whole planet in radioactive ash and trigger century-long nuclear winter. That being said, we are unfortunately becoming less and less likely to use restraint on this kind of weapons. The main cold War rivals are starting to poke at each other... Plus we are starting to see nukes in the hands of religiously motivated nations. Fat chance those would be deterred by feat if MAD if they feel like their belief are being hurt...

@calvingreene90

3 жыл бұрын

@@pavelZhd Your estimate of the power of nuclear weapons is ludicrously high.

@tidusffx1147

3 жыл бұрын

@@calvingreene90 it is high but he is correct that there are still more than enough nukes out there to F us over

@calvingreene90

3 жыл бұрын

@@tidusffx1147 But not enough to render Earth uninhabitable or drive humans into extinction.

I say Gorillas. Human, Chimp, Gorilla.

Nice knowing you Dranaxian. Hope to see you on the other side with a better attitude.

So, you think your good at war and think our rules are foolish? Prepare for a very, very bitter lesson. Learn why we have so many rules.

@Gilhelmi

2 жыл бұрын

A good man does not need rules. You don't want to know why we have so many.

For the algorithm!

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the Algorithm

bob the dragon

For the algorithm my friends

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm.

For the algorithm

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm

I kove the stories where humans just start using the geneva checklist

1 thumbs down....I think someone may need a hug.

keeper going

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

kept going

BAMN for the damned!

To please the algorithm is all

@AgroSquerril

2 жыл бұрын

For the Algorithm

@Speed001

4 ай бұрын

All is all -A Space Dandy song (and a pretty good highschool musical-esque episode) Viva viva viva all

FtA, FtA(s), FtDV!

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm

For the Algorithm

@reasonablehiccups4792

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm.

Dranok delenda est!

@johnnyrotten3175

4 ай бұрын

Shaka, When the Walls Fell

4 D algorithm 4 D 🐿️ ❗ ❗

100K

FTA

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm

a bit of clipping in the right channel, unfortunately

what is the sol species there.....i cant decide if its uplifted feline+canine+gorila ? horse?....or just various gen moded humans or something else hmm also..refer to the star.....oh no... you dident.... you scorched it dident you! you butchered your own mother garden over some childish reasons!

@johnnyrotten3175

4 ай бұрын

Human, dog, and gorilla

163rd, 10 December 2023

The story seemed good, but I couldn’t finish it. You felt really rushed and it made me think at first that someone was reposting it at a higher speed but it is just you.

hmm? yes... the author Cleary does not now how to tell a story There is no conclusion to this story.. where is the rest of it?

Most boring story yet

For the algorithm