First mistake: you left two of us alive 2nd mistake: you let your scientists believe we were non sentient 3rd mistake: those two you left alive? They're Marines and you gave the the ability to clone more Marines

@KevinTarka

2 жыл бұрын

4th mistake: They let the marines run out of crayons.

@UNSCrearadmiral

2 жыл бұрын

@@KevinTarka in all fairness I realize #2 is a bit of stretch for a majority of Marines

@chrislaf89

Жыл бұрын

@@KevinTarka They destroyed the crayon factory....that's the bigger mistake

@bkane573

Жыл бұрын

5th mistake. They left an officer with a babysitter Alive.

@ADerpyReality

Жыл бұрын

You were made in gods image... God happens to be a pair of marines.

"Seriously, Patricia?" "You knew it was a joke when i proposed a quick shag but did you REALLY need to clone the entirety of the human race back into existence just to spite me?" "Not even if we're the only two humans left in the galaxy, MY ASS!"

@Gilhelmi

2 жыл бұрын

This comment right here made me laugh. A glorious joke.

@alexs5814

2 жыл бұрын

@@Gilhelmi Thank you for the kind words.

@DonPatrono

Жыл бұрын

"Sarge, I have a plan so that we can repopulate the Earth" "Uhhh, right Major" *Starts to unzip pants "...Sarge, you try and undo another of your buttons, and I'll sock you so hard in the mouth you'll have to *frappe your frigging crayons to eat them* we clear on that devil dog?" "Rah ma'am" *zips fly back

@alexs5814

Жыл бұрын

@@DonPatrono this is also a possibility^^

@sam2x13

9 ай бұрын

That's pretty bad when she dislikes you so much that she'll make clones and have sex with them instead of you.

"Well, we're the last two humans left." "Don't tell me; entire hostile galaxy?" "Yep." "Bunch of freaks want to put us in a zoo?" "Most likely." "...bring it on."

@Mizurunne

3 жыл бұрын

Booohooohooo yaaaaaa

@junkercitizen229

3 жыл бұрын

I'm going to turn the aliens into fleas, harmless little fleas, then ill put those fleas in a box then put that box in another box then I'll mail that box to myself and when it arrives hahaha I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!

@Amoth_oth_ras_shash

2 жыл бұрын

@@junkercitizen229 nice... found a new web name yzma ,how's the council gig going ?

@dravenrogers7040

Жыл бұрын

I think I know what the translation error was it was set on squirrel

@trevorthieme5157

Жыл бұрын

@@Mizurunne OOH RAAAAAAA!

Aliens when outnumbered 4 to 1: we must surrender now. Humans outnumbered 50 to 1: *SWITCHES ALL WEPONS TO FULL AUTO*

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

rip and tear

@alexs5814

3 жыл бұрын

Excellent! Now we can advance in every direction!

@McSenkel

3 жыл бұрын

Bayonets on rifles boys!

@veryangryduckpl2122

3 жыл бұрын

@@AgroSquerril Until it's covered in ketchup.

@alexanderzhmurov9624

2 жыл бұрын

_Great news everyone, we don't even need to bother to aim to hit targets now_ _That makes it a lot simpler_

Ah yes, outnumbered, or in other words, more targets.

@Allantitan

3 жыл бұрын

And more…..fun playing with our food muhahaha

@Talon1124

3 жыл бұрын

More commonly known as a target rich environment.

@Caldoric

3 жыл бұрын

@@Talon1124 I was gonna say that myself

@admiralglenn2323

3 жыл бұрын

@@Talon1124 why must all the good replies be taken already.

@tonyreaver2627

3 жыл бұрын

The US ARMY Rangers have a saying. We are not surrounded we have them right where we want them

"mom, i think i joined a cult" PRAISED BE THE ALGORITHM

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

lol....For the algorithm

humans: *get dropped to 2 people* aliens: *try and put them in a zoo* [200 years later] humans: *blast the old isengard theme as they pull an uno revers card* aliens: why do i hear foreboding music?!

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

Alien : why am i wearing brown pants?

@Allantitan

3 жыл бұрын

@@AgroSquerril aliens: and a red shirt

@MyrdinAnnoth

Жыл бұрын

"Hunt them down! Do not stop until they are found! You do not know fear, you do not know pain. You will taste alien flesh!"

@hrushikeshsawant6193

Жыл бұрын

We come we come with roll of drum s da rum darum da rum da rum

@nargalda773

7 ай бұрын

humans dont need a zoo, they have doom boss music

"We're back"... Only "We know you're out there, and we're coming for you" from "The Gift of Mercy" gave me more goosebumps.

@stepans20

2 жыл бұрын

"Let he who questions our peace loving ways drown in blood, for our forgiveness shall be merciless."

@markuhler2664

2 жыл бұрын

Will look for it

@Access.Denied

Жыл бұрын

@@stepans20 Did you write that yourself? I ask because that's such a badass line.

@stepans20

Жыл бұрын

@@Access.Denied Its a translation from russian. I think the original quote is from the STALKER games, but i cant be too sure.

They are lucky that each planet didn't simply receive a relativistic rock.

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

kersplato

@jorgecarreras4214

2 жыл бұрын

Relativistic? That slow? Why not an FTL rock?

@calvingreene90

2 жыл бұрын

@@jorgecarreras4214 Because you can't do FTL inside this universe and I want them to have a few minutes of Terror seeing it coming.

@ravenouself4181

Жыл бұрын

@@jorgecarreras4214 Where would be the fun in giving them quick deaths?

In these stories, it definitely tells the fire of humanity’s vengeance, need only start with an Amber, to become a firestorm across the stars.

@stevenswenson7041

Жыл бұрын

Amber is a red-head I take it :) 😝

Cloning Marines? Improved ones? They gonna pay the piper.

Sir we're surrounded, "Ah good, a target rich environment"

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

lol

@cgi2002

3 жыл бұрын

I prefer the other version "Sir were surrounded. Ah good, they can't escape us now".

@nvfury13

3 жыл бұрын

“Sir, we are surrounded.” “Oh good, no chance of hitting friendlies. Fire at Will!”

Okay - you CAN'T tell me that they didn't just skip calling it the academy and called it E.M.M.A

I’d like a video game series or a movie with this as the premise. It’s like mass effect, if the first contact war went horribly wrong.

@florianricquart4114

2 жыл бұрын

You could easily make this into three games at least : a survival game for the events of the last Humans, a city-building game, but larger (maybe even a planet "building" game) for the 200 year period, and a RTS game for the revenge assault.

@tix2260

Жыл бұрын

@@florianricquart4114 that’s actually genius

@sethfischer7368

Жыл бұрын

Stellaris

For the Algorithm... You ever think about doing a collaboration with Net Narrator? Would be cool to hear you two in a conversation heavy story... And if you have and I missed it, sorry 😝

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

at this point i haven't done a colab with anyone. Something to think about though

@markfergerson2145

Жыл бұрын

I sincerely hope not. That guy talks too fast (I have to slow him down to 75%, sometimes 50%) and he slurs consonants too much.

@sewpungyow5154

Жыл бұрын

@@markfergerson2145 I put both of them on 2.5x speed idk what you're talking about

FOR THE HORDE! So this is the story of how the human race became a militaristic Terran order

The big cats definitely would leave the zoos if fences weren't electrified. Hell I once saw a tiger testing the edges trying to find weaknesses. Then it took a nap in its rainforest enclosure.

Aliens: You are surrounded! Humans: All I am surrounded by is fear and death aliens!

There's something to be said about coining back up after stepping on a landmine that's supposed to leave no trace

Brilliant. The ultimate "fuck around and find out."

So they went the Warhammer 40K route, but chickened out at the very end. They should have finished the job and eliminate the vile Planac species entirely. I guess being wiped out to 2 last remaining humans in the universe wasnt enough of a intencive to tie the loose ends.

@Elyseon

Жыл бұрын

On the contrary. The survivors will be living in constant abject terror that they might come back to finish the job.

these stories were kick ass!!

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

glad you liked

What bad luck to let two Americans of Scots-Irish decent stay alive.

Aliens: "you are surrounded and outnumbered, surrender or die. We await your response". Humans: "FIll YOUR HANDS YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

Poetic justice or tragic irony?

@HennryHammerhead

3 жыл бұрын

Why not both?

@LePoetKing

3 жыл бұрын

poetic irony

This was a good pair of stories.

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

glad you enjoyed

Great Story... these aliens done GOOFED UP and the galaxy is going to learn what a BAD IDEA that was

It is excellent to see an update to this story.

They didn't have to worry about shooting friendlies. Bad news for everyone that was not human.

Fools! You left Humans alive, armed, with a cloning unit, a ship and a GRUDGE! I wonder what happens next? Fool us once and you'll never get the chance to fool us a second time.

Ah vengence in all its beautiful glory

The U.S. Military is broken up into two count them two branches. The Army and the Navy. The Air Force is a major Corporation. The United States Marine Corps, not Corpees, Core spelled Corps is a CULT. Semper Fi my beautiful Teufel Hunfen.

For the Algorithm! Managed to catch the premier today Agro, usually I am sleeping. Was a GOOD one to catch!🤘👍👌👽 H F Y!!!!!

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

Glad you enjoyed

i think that would make a good film

revenge is a dish best served in space

Great story line! Algorithm be pleased.

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm!

I wonder if the inhabitants of the 15 planets evacuated, leaving the place cleaned up, and sent to Earth an apology note and a nice bundt cake. You didn't just leave 2 humans alive. You left 2 Marines. I've seen fuck-ups before, just nothing on that scale. I am curious of the culture that would develop from the Ten. Can you imagine the worship, literal or figurative, of them? Of being able to boast of being descended from a 'natural born' child of the Ten. Some serious roadblocks would have to be set up to avoid malignant crap from developing. Difficult to predict all the ways that could go wrong.

Now that's gun control Be the one in control of the Gun

Sounds like Commonwealth of Man in stellaris.

For the algorithm! Im on a binge watch again lol

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm and nice!

Its a nice comeback story.

Vengeance for humanity! Vigilo Confido!

With ( justly deserved ) revenge hopefully this humanity would be able to retake the worlds their ancestors worked so hard to make livable and build up an even better future....nice they let the rest of the Empire that believed the Plaanc's lies ( still a shitty reason to go commit genocide and swallowed a bit too easily, but at least they had some excuse ) live...hopefully that bit of mercy will sink in and they'll leave humanity alone.

Used to get large ones hook upto your tractor behind you

Send in the clones!

@frozenheartedgiant8330

2 жыл бұрын

Ended, the cone war has

Very good story .please carry on

*[Primo Victoria Intensifies]*

@junkercitizen229

3 жыл бұрын

I'm not sure how to feel about the fact that the song played in my head upon reading tht

@ettibbet5493

2 жыл бұрын

@@junkercitizen229 I felt good

If only they asked humanity how they got their life holding worlds. I think humanity would have taught the xenon how to terraform

excellent story and appropriate ending. Thanks

you know...treat sapients as monsters...... and they might just become that ,at least... towards those that burnt everything else they once was..

"We're back, bitches!"

good stories that would make a nice book series

Inglorious Bastards 40k

For the clones!

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

dont make me repeat myself!

@Enderborn272

3 жыл бұрын

*501st theme blasting in the background.*

For the Algorithm! Great story.

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm!

keeper going

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

kept going

And every year on the anniversary of the defeat of the Planac the new humans who had entered into the SpecForce went to the Planac homeworld and practiced bombardment runs as part of the graduating celebration.

Loved every bit of this!

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

glad you enjoyed

Tell the Ruzzins we don’t need any!

The aliens got uno reversed carded so bad...

Can anyone explain to me how the hell the alien in the first story with the cloning machine didn't get rich from his machine I mean sure it only clones things that are alive but you're telling me right now there is nothing you could have used that for

@stevedixon921

Жыл бұрын

Well he was not very smart, he could have pulled a fast one after the capture. Really a low IQ moment, you should wait until your payday is secure before dumping your excess partners. Betrayal right from the start, deserved to be shot three times.

@ianharrison5758

Жыл бұрын

I mean cloning tech likely isn’t super rare, so the real money would be from selling clones of an endangered species as slaves, not necessarily the act of cloning itself

Get back, its a trap! There are two of them!

This is great

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

glad you like

You’re voice ranges are great, do you work for audible as well

Merci

For the algorithm!

And this is when humans become someone elses E.L.E. Peace would only come when every single solitary planet of theirs was burned.

this is the best ending

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

:)

@joshuafischer684

Жыл бұрын

Killing foul xenos is the best future imaginable

For the algorithm!!

The first story is imperialism in a nutshell

Sontar-HA

For the algorithm

@anthonykafka42

3 жыл бұрын

All praise

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm!

For the Prophet

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm!

I love yer vids lass

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

glad you enjoy the content

@FirebaII0

Жыл бұрын

@@AgroSquerrilI’m just happy you Commented

Bob the dragon

@Jason-sm4oc

3 жыл бұрын

Hi Bob.

I feel a bit for the one who had flown them offworld as a sort of prisoner. They didn't seem like an especially malevolent entity. I'm not sure that I like stories of genocide.

@frozenheartedgiant8330

2 жыл бұрын

But there was no genocide, except the one against humanity.

@jorgecarreras4214

2 жыл бұрын

Aye, they were spared until they tried to sabotage the cloning tanks, and then it was to the organic recycling vats they went.

fta

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

fta

198th, 18 December 2023

Every filthy Xeno in this universe needs to be purged.

Feels like an extreme waste story wise to just throw away the alien character. Real boring choice on the author's part.

I'm glad that someone narrates their own stories but your voice grates on my nerves. I have listened to several stories I have never been able to listen to an entire story because I can't tolerate your overdramatic tones and your Cadence is all wrong.

A comment.

For the Algorithm the story and the voice

For the algorithm

@reasonablehiccups4792

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm!

For the algorithm!

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm

For the algorithm

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm!