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OMG I’ve spent an entire career around people who think they are the best - so deluded, and so exhausting!

I had a narcissist bullying boss who liked using the phrase "what are the challenges?" when I was not performing to her unrealistic expectations. She was a real piece of work.

They don’t feel powerful unless they are taking someone down - if you see these flags, run!

One common supervisor sayings I’ve noticed is, “I need you to…”

@CrackberryMe

8 ай бұрын

Facts, and I can’t stand it when supervisors say that.

@coasterkat4432

8 ай бұрын

Or “Hey, do me a favor and…”.

@8910d

8 ай бұрын

Super annoying from coworkers.

When last working at a tuition centre, the boss (then in 2017) would always say this to the kids, "I love you alllll!!!" I think that was a serious red flag. It is more likely she loves what she can get from them.

I need you to live in my scrub pocket every time I got to work. K thx (I saved this episode so I can remind myself that I am worth something, that my patients enjoy my care, and that my view doesn't have to be wrong.) "De-moralizing" is the perfect word.

Yes yes yes my boss is definitely detached from reality. She loves herself. She thinks she is the best thing since sliced bread. Never will admit a mistake. She can’t even compose a simple paragraph. I feel like her personal secretary at time. Done this nightmare next year. Gonzo!

“I, me” refer to the ego. When the sense of ego is distorted, the sense of self is distorted. It’s their reality & they’re living in it. We are NPCs. Bad bosses! I’ve had bad bosses!!

The ex would say, "I do all the work around here" when WE had just spent 16 hours working at our store. 🤯🤯🤯 Ummmm....am I INVISIBLE?! Does MY work not COUNT?? YES, I was invisible and everything I did with him didn't count for $hit. 😅 Byeeeeeee!!!!! (Almost 5 years FREE!!!🎉)

Never shy away from your own accomplishment, give credits to those who earned it , but don’t let them take away from yours and present it as theirs in the name of team work! If you have to do it all in a team then leave cause they suffocate you and make you work harder then call it the team work! In a team everyone has to have descriptions of responsibilities and duties , very clearly stated in a written statement. Hierarchies have to exist , but that doesn’t mean inequality! If anyone doesn’t get that and constantly challenges the boundaries then you need to let the person go and be happy somewhere else! Leave a place if there is no mentorship and no room for advance , however that is depending on the type and the place of work that you’re in! Make sure you are compensated for mentoring cause it’s very draining and stressful and if you’re not financially compensated leads to resentment .

Hahaha, "when they start to reference people from the land of Make Believe..." Very amusing! Your delivery is so entertaining :)

My boss yesterday: You guys did an amazing job. I’m so impressed, and so was the client. My boss today: You guys are ineffective in your roles.

@TheWizardOfWords

7 ай бұрын

Did you ask your boss to be specific in his/her critique?

@richelleblackwelder746

7 ай бұрын

@@TheWizardOfWords Yes. And when I did she claimed to have no memory of giving a critique. She needed to blow off steam and we were the two who crossed her path at the time. Our team used to jokingly say to each other that we took turns being trouble. Because you have to laugh to keep from crying with some bosses.

@TheWizardOfWords

7 ай бұрын

Good grief. She has no business being anyone's boss if she can't control hermoods. You don't "blow off steam" at work--to begin with and you certainly down aim that steam at people you're supposed to be leading.

My boss is such a narcissist, and he has all the red flags. I do have to use “Actually…” back at him to set the record straight sometimes. (I try to only do this when it’s worth the effort.) Someone has to speak truth to power!

Learning a lot from the videos! Thanks so much!!

There is no getaway if the narcist at work is the boss or in a higher position.He can even blackmail you. Talking from experience. I also had these red flags and told that if I have a problem I can go home...

@TheWizardOfWords

8 ай бұрын

I hope you went home.

"Dan you're the man" you help Expose and turn the light on to my otherwise Narcissist boss and help me deal with what i'm dealing with thanks, keep it coming 😅

@TheWizardOfWords

8 ай бұрын

I will keep ém coming :)

I have to rebuttal on the “you must do it this way” for process driven environments, like manufacturing. I have to constantly tell people, trust the process / SOP, do it this way and only this way so we have the same result every time. The nitpicking is for the good of team and company so we can identify what works and doesn’t, the only way to determine is complete adherence so we can improve the processes as well. Naturally, I get the overall sentiment and that the content isn’t based for EVERY scenario. Great video Dan, I’m just triggered today!!!😂😂😂

@TheWizardOfWords

8 ай бұрын

Dan, I did a video previously on the very situation you're describing--one in which the team benefits by JUST DOING IT rather than complaining and always looking for explanations and saying such things as "well our OTHER supervisor . . . ." I get exactly where you're coming from, and applaud your approach.

@danjordan1476

8 ай бұрын

@@TheWizardOfWords I’m going to check it out! I encourage my team and friends to watch your content, it has been so helpful to me over the years.

OH CRAP! I have a habit of saying "actually" and I don't know why. Am I a narcissist and don't know it! OH CRAP!

@TheWizardOfWords

7 ай бұрын

Well Georgia, if you are also using the other 9 phrases :) :)

Related(?): One thing that I think may account for the narcissistic behavior of managers nowadays is the way they gather “customer satisfaction data.” I am dubious of “crowd sourced” data in general. The real enemy, though, might be that 10-point scale that is so prevalent. For how it gets used, 10 points is the wrong metric, because any score under 10 can incur scrutiny and/or punishment from managers. To replace a 10-point scale, I’d suggest a 3-point scale. The three points should mean 1=completely satisfied; 2=satisfied, but…; 3=unsatisfied/company has problems.

I worked for an impossible woman who constantly criticized upper management. And well, everyone. One day I turned around and snapped "If you think you are better than the CEO why don' YOU run the company then?" She very cooly said "I should." She literally was so delusional in her inflated ego she thought she was better than everyone even though reality didn't mesh with that. Her speciality was DL sabotaging everyone. 'Just do it because I say so" is equivilent to giving someone bad instructions so they will deliberately fail at the task. She ran through so many staff because she was hypercritical of everyone but I heard it took the company another 3 years after I quit , to get rid of her. The grip she had over everyone by wearing them down with her constant berating was incredible. Total nightmare.

@TheWizardOfWords

8 ай бұрын

It is amazing how incompetent, narcissistic, hateful people can maintain a grip over people who could actually shake that person loose if they had the will to do it. Thus, The Phajaan-- being fettered by imaginary ropes all one's life.

This was my parents style and it didnt work very well. When i found myself in a supervisory position i was out to do that differently. Its important to me that my staff knows what is going on, why, and that we talk solutions. I feel so fortunate to have had such a competent staff that we naturally teamed up for the best outcome. Our record spoke for itself. Its my job to back up my staff to the public and impart to them the confidence that our efforts make their experience with us such that they feel good coming back to us the next time! Nobody does it alone. Im grateful for all the talented people who help to make our business a success! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!❤

Love your show Thank YOU Dan!!!! ❤😮😊

Dan Oconnor is the most saavy communicator ❤ keep sharing

Awesome Dan love the detailed list thoroughness at the end of video ... I owe you

@TheWizardOfWords

8 ай бұрын

Well if you want more of these, Jenny, just hit the "join" button and become a YT member :)

Their saying "yada yada" love it!

Thank you!

@TheWizardOfWords

8 ай бұрын

You're welcome!

Thank you for sharing

@TheWizardOfWords

8 ай бұрын

My pleasure

My last boss said, "We know you've done your absolute best, but your management style just doesn't fit here." and then fired me. He had many of these other red flags too.

I've realized my soon to be ex is the nicest covert narcissist I've ever met!!!🤣

@TREY_CHAMBERS_95

2 ай бұрын

@ImmuneCollections This Not A Relationship Topic This Topic Talks About Narcissists in A Workplace This Video Has Nothing Too Do With Spouses

I have an auditory processing disorder that I have had my whole life that makes communication something I need constantly work on. Your videos have been helping in general. It is difficult to process things I hear sometimes, and when I ask someone (especially a boss) for something to be clarified or repeated, I get a look that conveys “is this guy stupid or something?. My fear is that if I tell people about my disorder, they won’t trust me or think that information goes in one ear and out the other.

@TheWizardOfWords

8 ай бұрын

And now I know why you're called dr.trollman :) :)

@dr.trollman8132

8 ай бұрын

im not trolling@@TheWizardOfWords

@TheWizardOfWords

8 ай бұрын

I apologize. When I saw the in one ear and out the other, I thought that was a punchline. I stand corrected, dr. Seriously, I think you should share your disorder with anyone with whom you interact professionally and often. People understand these things and I believe will be far more accepting of your occasional need to have things repeated, than if they think you are simply not paying attention--which is what they are probably thinking.

@dr.trollman8132

8 ай бұрын

@@TheWizardOfWords Okay. Thank you.

@JesusSaves77799

8 ай бұрын

I think you can tell your boss on the side. In Connecticut, you can ask for reasonable accommodations. Also, it’s against the law to discriminate against someone with a disability. I’m not sure if you are supposed to tell them about it before being hired, but most people are kind and I think will understand. Maybe just tell the boss in private. You can let others know if you feel comfortable after that. (But only if you feel comfortable!). Xoxo

My current boss....

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🎯

Oh, and my boss (who I think is a Narcissist) always uses the word "AGAIN". Examples: As he's explaining something, he uses the word "again" in a way that's condescending, like you need it explained, AGAIN, or else you won't get it 😂😂😂 "Again, if you could do _____, and then _____ and ______." What a douche.

@TheWizardOfWords

8 ай бұрын

I laughed out loud at your closing line :)

You mentioned Enneagram, are you a 3?… And good video

@TheWizardOfWords

8 ай бұрын

My mother says I am; I beg to differ :) :)

Yikes, i say actually a lot😢

My boss successfully embarrassed me in a meeting when I presented a project beautifully... when I finished there was the sound of crickets...after an excruciating silence she said, "so what's your presentation?" I was unprepared and set to stuttering. I had no idea what else was needed. This will happen again. Any power phrases for this?

@TheWizardOfWords

8 ай бұрын

Yes, you ask your boss "Can you be more specific, so I can do better next time?" It is clear that you are not giving her what she wants or expects, so you have to find out what she's looking for.

@GoatieMama

8 ай бұрын

@TheWizardOfWords She's a master of the shifting goal posts. I've been wracking my brains to come up with something to say and your suggestion is brilliant. Thank you! And I appreciate that you took the time to respond 🙏🏼

@TheWizardOfWords

8 ай бұрын

Happy to help, KP

How do I keep myself from laughing at my gaslighting boss, because I can see through the mind games.

@TheWizardOfWords

8 ай бұрын

Wear a Covid mask at all times.

@lauradunn2221

8 ай бұрын

Nice! 👍

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Alright, I have every red 🚩 I'm Narcissistic and thats cool 😎

@TheWizardOfWords

8 ай бұрын

Actually, if you are a true narcissist and could identify with the descriptions, sadly you would think that was cool. But not really. Not really. You know that everything you are, say, and do comes from a deep-seated sense of "I really am not good enough. Please love and respect me so someday I can love and respect myself."

Too sensitive😢

This felt like listening to the ex husband. He often to spoke to us as if we were his employees, or “the help,” at home. Challenging the narrative usually results in 8, 9, and 7, before finally getting a 10.

Hey Handsome, can you make a video about people that are ass kissers?

@TheWizardOfWords

7 ай бұрын

Can you give me a little more context?

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