Critical Doggo is wise as always when it comes to constructive criticism and rational input regarding the box office failure movies of 2023.

@PrivateCitizen84

Жыл бұрын

Not enough Doggo diveristy way to many humans! Doggo Lives Matter.

@Grassroots_Hegemon

Жыл бұрын

If only we could get him to stop going on tangents about the global cabal. Oh well.

@Wheelie2077

Жыл бұрын

Spare a moment to acknowledge "dog years", if Smokey watches Little Mermaid, that's approximately 16 hours of his life!

@Wheelie2077

Жыл бұрын

​@@nmr7203Seriously? You're gonna gender swap Smokey and think that we won't notice?

@rowanb4395

Жыл бұрын

@@Wheelie2077 💀

Once upon a time, Samuel L had this charismatic aura which just exuded the epitome of 'dont give a fuck' but it goes to show that no matter how immune you may think your favorite actor is to this nonsense, they just cant help but drink the Kool Aid. Hollywood is just shills shilling for each other, its sickening.

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

💯💯👍

@scottf5791

Жыл бұрын

“It’s a big club and you ain’t in it!”

To be fair, as part of her plea deal, Wonder Woman isn't allowed to be around mind swappable men unsupervised, so she was already taking a risk.

@JoshuaKevinPerry

Жыл бұрын

Don't want her Ezra Millering them

@inthefade

Жыл бұрын

I think that guy would wake up and wouldn’t really mind tbf.

@MediumRareOpinions

Жыл бұрын

​@@inthefadenot really how consent works is it? You're supposed to ask first, not go ahead and ask if they mind afterwards.

@matthewcarroll2533

Жыл бұрын

@@MediumRareOpinions It isn't, you're right but the person who you replied to is still correct, lol. You're both technically right, it is what it is.

@Johnnyupside

Жыл бұрын

@@inthefade It's not about whether he is fine with it or not. It's about the double standard, just imagine if it was a woman instead. Now imagine if Ezra miller was the one doing the mind swapping

Critical doggo has some deep thoughts on every subject.

@danabnormal5988

Жыл бұрын

He's very insightful!

@samzilla567

Жыл бұрын

@@danabnormal5988 He's got some pretty spicy takes, but he's never missed.

@ThePhysicalReaction

Жыл бұрын

He's researching a very important scene featuring Wonder Woman.

Jedi Brooks was a great addition to the Open Bar!

Hope to see Jedi Brooks back, great guest!

All hail the critical doggo! "Yo where smokey at? He out back taking a s#$t! Dont tell nobody." If you know, you know.

@samuel5591

Жыл бұрын

Great film!

"[Ezra Miller is] the male Phoebe Waller-Bridge" - I couldn't stop laughing.

The Wonder Woman ass shot was incredible. Best part of it was the fact that it feels like that kind of thing is simply never allowed anymore *ever* and yet there it is, hot as shit.

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

Don’t forget Sasha Calle as Supergirl as well. She’s 🔥

@robertdouble559

Жыл бұрын

That was a fine ass. My wife loved it too.

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

@@robertdouble559👍

@JohnSmith-sb2fp

Жыл бұрын

Galdot is ugly

@matthewcarroll2533

Жыл бұрын

@@chasehedges6775 Is she? Idk man. She's in shape, I guess but she isn't very pretty to me. Subjective beauty and all that, I guess.

Mauler’s impersonation of Chris Stuckmann never gets old xD

32:50 Chris Hemsworth is EXTREMELY competent in *Bad Times at the El Royale.* I HIGHLY recommend that film; I'm certain MauLer would love it.

The Secret Invasion Saga was far better handled by the Avengers Earth's Mightiest Heroes animated show.

@MegaSpideyman

Жыл бұрын

Agreed.

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

Animation does things better than live action

@babababab71

Жыл бұрын

​@@chasehedges6775pretty much. Just look at the DCAU.

@Blu3-Fir3

Жыл бұрын

They also adapted Adam Warlock and Sword better too. The only thing I found to be a bit of a miss was Ultron, but it was still better than the MCU Ultron imo.

@zerowolf0006

Жыл бұрын

You used my face!!!

I've had my eye on Chris Hemsworth ever since his first Hollywood role in the Star Trek remake. He had more presence and charisma as Kirk's father in that first 10 minutes than the entire cast for the rest of the movie. The final battle of a man protecting everything he held dear with his life was beautiful and I still go back to watch that scene.

@wilder11

Жыл бұрын

...that's quite the ppinion you have there. I think you're being too hard on the rest of the cast. I think they're pretty stellar actually (get it? stellar?). It's the writing that's pretty wonky - and quite unlike the show its based on.

@SumDumGy

Жыл бұрын

*for the rest of the trilogy

1:05:47 Thank you Mauler! You have been screaming that since End Game. As soon as they introduced time travel they literally fucked them selves forever because there are NO STAKES!

@rowanb4395

Жыл бұрын

Apart from the endless possibilities of mis-takes that could arise from it

@dodojesus4529

Жыл бұрын

It being such unrestricted time travel multiplies all problems tenfold aswell, if one needed an acually scarce ressourc for it if it had something to do with the stones thatd be a start. They just said "nah itll be fine" and ut wasnt fine

@RhysCallinan-cg5ww

Жыл бұрын

Time travel is possible but it's extremely difficult to make right. Endgame fucked it pretty bad because it made the possibility of it happening again. How do you stop such things from happening? Good writing. Sadly Marvel (and Hollywood itself) is sorely lacking.

@Torchflare

Жыл бұрын

My understanding of Endgame's time travel was that nothing was actually changed by the time travel. I thought Endgame was really fucked the moment it said "5 YEARS LATER".

@pistolbobcat5374

Жыл бұрын

I was fine with time travel when it had these rules. What I’m NOT fine with is the TVA bullshit and “the avengers had to do it or they’d be melted”

Thanks for introducing me to Jedi Brooks. What a great channel. He should have so many more subscribers

Critical Doggo reviewing modern media: "These are my *balls.* ...that is all."

@DarkAngel459

Жыл бұрын

@@jamesbarker3517 Females can have balls as well you know.

@vaticancartel136

Жыл бұрын

@@DarkAngel459 Yes, and false mounts 😉

@kevinoneil5120

Жыл бұрын

@@jamesbarker3517 That is Smokey!

@RhysCallinan-cg5ww

Жыл бұрын

Does Smokey Lock Balls?

They’ll never know what you sacrificed for them

“BED!?!? I don’t need no stinking BED!!!” - The Critical Doggo

"We don't know where any of the abandoned power plants are" They said this AS they pulled up a map of the abandoned power plants! You can't make this shit up! It's worse than an actor closing the wrong eye when using a scope on a rifle!

“Maria hill dies.” Just like how Fury got shot dead to rights in The Winter Soldier. Just like how Loki being dead over and over again. Just like how Wanda is so dead in Multiverse of Madness while having the future projects waiting for her. Just like how Peggy Carter is truly dead, then her new version will keep spawning to take its place. Just like those who got blipped in Infinity War who had their own solo movies stood by after Endgame.

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

“No one’s ever really gone.” - Jake Skywalker, TLJ

@nont18411

Жыл бұрын

@@chasehedges6775 It bothers me that Mauler never brought up how Fury turned himself into a cold stiff corpse by injecting Banner’s special drug to slow his heart rate and make everyone (both Cap, Black Widow and the HYDRA) believe that he’s actually being shot dead in the heart. Fury and Maria Hill have a first hand experience with this. Why can’t Fury use this drug to save Maria Hill and fool the Skrulls?

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

@@nont18411 Lazy Writing

Smokey defo the goat of the show - his silence speaks volumes!

The diversity officer…Latondra…. Because of course 🤣

@portalmanHUN

Жыл бұрын

Name tells you everything you need to know.

Drinker says that Brad Pitt upgraded from Aniston to Jolie, but Jolie has shown herself to be an absolute nutcase.

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

Brad Pitt should just stay single.

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

Angelina Jolie is a meh actress

@The_Isaiahnator

Жыл бұрын

It's crazy how people will pass up the "homely" yet emotionally stable girl-next-door for the beautiful yet insane woman. Just shows you where people's priorities are.

@TheSatisfiedPig

Жыл бұрын

Do not agree that Jolie is an upgrade from Aniston.

@RhysCallinan-cg5ww

Жыл бұрын

It's a testament that she might be a good example of the "hot to crazy" graph.

“Attractivist” is better than “Hotphobe”…. just sayin’. Love the show!

@valentinegonsalves7322

Жыл бұрын

I second this.

@mcdonaldtrump228

Жыл бұрын

@@valentinegonsalves7322 i thirded this

Here are some facts for you from someone who worked on acolyte. It started filming summer 22 at the new reading studios reading and finished filming May 23 at same studios . We were told when wrapping up they had four episodes in the can at the end . I do not know if there was shooting on sets in other countries ie Back in USA but there were a few shoots in Madeira and Wales the production overspilled to the Arborfield studios close by. There were alot of sets forests, space ships, temples, caves and street scenes . This felt more like a film set than a tv . Working in the industry I have not come across a shoot with so much secrecy regarding the story, it usually trickles out because of what you see and make and the actors you see around , not this time , so I had to ask around . 😆.I bump into a few of the smaller bit part actors here and there and they were very guarded about the story and seemed a little unhappy ,not the usual chatty excitement. We had no trouble getting paid but crew size starts to dwindle towards the end in most productions . My fear was that the script would be modern woke garbage but I have no concrete evidence for this . As for running out of budget to finish don't know. Might be a case of panic back at disney and cutting costs due to recent events there . Would be a shame alot of people worked hard on this production🤫🤐

@JoshuaKevinPerry

Жыл бұрын

Nah, I think it'd be fine if Disney never released any star wars content.

@joeymobb8438

Жыл бұрын

Source: Trust me bro!

That’s what I like about Tom Cruise; he doesn’t let Hollywood fuck with his characters or stories. If only the Star Wars trio fought as hard as he does to keep their characters true

@LucaChuck25

Жыл бұрын

Ford never cared about Star Wars, and the other two were not major movie stars. Cruise has been a top dog for 4 decades.

@Zoidberg420

Жыл бұрын

You don't fuck with such a high ranking scientologist

@wilder11

Жыл бұрын

LOL when you said "Star Wars Trio", my mind actually went to Rey/Finn/Poe. And I was like "What was there to even fight for?" XD

@schwartzy65

Жыл бұрын

That why Cruise is the producer so he has say and also so he can do his stunts without insurance...

Don't forget Emilia was in Solo as well.😅

I’ll tell you one thing. I worked with Samuel l Jackson once and while we didn’t directly speak, I spent 22 hours in his presence. Nobody tells that man to say or do anything. He’s one of the most chill, in control dudes there is.

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

Was this before he got older? Samuel L. Jackson before the 2020s hit was awesome

@AcidifiedMammoth

Жыл бұрын

When was this?

To the brief mention of Cavill, literally all of my hopes for him lay on his WH40K show. It's irrational I know, and the chances of it being a banger are weak at best but if it is, it will be the actualization of his capacity.

Post credit scene in aquaman…. Look out at the ocean, and see an old time ship with bearded figure looking out through a telescope the camera pans to him and it’s Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow….

I like the expanding roster of people in the discussions.

It skirt part was when the three of them were standing on the bridge, before the Lasso Of Truth was grabbed by Barry and Bruce. It was a "blink and you'll miss it" moment.

@RisingUnderdog

Жыл бұрын

Good thing I didn't blink 😏

Hope to see Jedi Brooks back!

Disney have invented a new type of movie... the “Flopbuster”

@valentinegonsalves7322

Жыл бұрын

Yep. And they're good at it too. In that every movie is a bigger flop than the previous one. Truly a paradox.

"What is Echo?" The question answers itself. Appropriately, like an echo.

Ok, as a 50 yr old dude who has raised 3 kids on a diet of vhs Disney movies and had an amazing 5 day Disneyland vacation with them in 2013, I love Disney like my wife. However right now they are fkn crazy like when she had post partem. Love em, but they are fkn horrible right now and need to get well.

Honestly let the Hollywood writers strike, they are giving us the opportunity to create our own stuff. So tired of these people trying emasculate men.

Thanks Drinker for bringing Jedi Brooks to my attention. I’ve subscribed to his channel. He’s brilliant. 🙏

Gary teased the idea of regional content and I FUCKING LOVE THAT IDEA! Like it or not, people in Texas have different values than people in the Northeast, like different sports, laugh at different jokes, and yes have different politics. So yeah it makes total sense having like a Gulf Coast entertainment industry, a Northeast industry, a west Coast industry, a southeast/Dixie entertainment industry....that way we can all get stories that match our tastes and values and we can compete against each other for exporting stories around the greater US and the English speaking world!

I make 1-2 mistakes at work and I'm fired, somehow these people make mistakes one after another that resulted in them losing millions but are still kept around. Insane times we live in.

@Afineaddition

Жыл бұрын

The most powerful in society just get to fail their way up. Downright demoralizing.

Indy 5 is gonna make Kingdom of the Crystal Skull look like a masterpiece by comparison. Disney has made it their mission to defile every iconic IP's grave for every cent its worth. Absolutely shameful!

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

Never underestimate the awfulness of Emperor Kathleen Kennedy and her nefarious agenda to destroy the past to control the future

@dodojesus4529

Жыл бұрын

Ae we going to see harrison fords soul leave his body right there oon camera?

@richardsanchez5444

Жыл бұрын

Dude I remember KotCS getting a lot of hate for the fridge scene, and aliens being involved, and yeah it was a little ridiculous. But it was a decent story and action and actors

@valentinegonsalves7322

Жыл бұрын

In the same way that the prequels are now gold compared to the pigshit called the Rey saga.

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

@@valentinegonsalves7322 Revenge Of The Sith is still awesome

Critical Doggo needs his own show and live stream, I'd sub to that!

@pkennedy0219

Жыл бұрын

You need to get a life then. It’s an old lazy dog. Get a grip on yourself

Always love when Mooley impersonates Stuckman.

1:12:34 THANK YOU! Feige has been taking credit for the work of real creative minds this entire time! He knows just enough about comics to cheerlead & co-sign then BTS but once they brought him to the Promise Land aka Endgame, he said "This is MY time, for MY ideas." And Marvel has been going to hell jn handbasket ever since.

Scottish man has open bar, never once headbutts a single patron. Disappointing.

@morganseppy5180

Жыл бұрын

He pets his dog, though

@Mowglibaloo2

Жыл бұрын

He does that on Thursday's

@JohnSmith-sb2fp

Жыл бұрын

Literally no knife play at all...WTF

“Lotioning up the legs of the actors” hahahahah ugh awesome

When you say fleabag is replacing Indiana Jones, do you mean they are replacing Indiana Jones with a dog? Because Indiana Bones and the Retrievers of the Lost Park sounds ever so wholesome!

@archstanton9073

Жыл бұрын

The horse-faced lady in the new Indy movie was on a show called Fleabag (which is also her character's name).

@DANCERcow

Жыл бұрын

Sarah Jessica Parker?

@rowanb4395

Жыл бұрын

I'd imagine the name Indiana Bones might already be taken

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

@@rowanb4395 😂😂😂. Indian Jones as a 🐶 , hat and whip and all

@rowanb4395

Жыл бұрын

@@chasehedges6775 If they did the character you have supposed justice, they could probably build an empire off of the back of it. Regardless, whatever deal they have in place for the property moving forward, its definitely time to pull out

Are you going to talk about the Oceangate sub and how "The Message" has literally killed people now?

@chethammer

Жыл бұрын

What?????

@MrDj232

Жыл бұрын

@@chethammer A billionaire tried making a business that would take people to the wreck of the Titanic by submarine. He fired the "old white man" engineer that warned him his sub was a death trap. Then replaced that guy with a bunch of diversity hires that didn't know what they were doing. The CEO and 4 paying passengers were killed as a result.

I remember more about the original Planet of The Apes films than I do both Avatar films

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

Even the Andy Serkis Planet Of The Apes movies are better than the Avatar movies.

Hey everybody! Have a good Sunday!

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

You too ❤

@cdh0879

Жыл бұрын

Thank you. You too!

I see The Little Mermaid has passed the $500 million mark, but will it beak even or make a profit?

@shyammathew9095

Жыл бұрын

They probably spent 400 million so just double it for profit to roll in.

Mauler's Stuckman impersonation and accent is AMAZING. I love it.

The Netflix documentary already has a name: Dive To Survive

@valentinegonsalves7322

Жыл бұрын

Or "Splash-point Paradox".

@TheOttomatic91

Жыл бұрын

😂

We’re still in the great retardation, don’t be fooled. Seriously though look around you, you’ll see it everywhere and once you start seeing it you won’t be able to stop. The sub disaster is the most recent example of it taking lives.

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

💯💯

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

The world is foolish and becoming worse

@valentinegonsalves7322

Жыл бұрын

Even without the sub disaster. There's Avengers movies announced without any Avengers in it. Little Mermaid doesn't have Ariel in it. Star Wars doesn't have Luke Skywalker in it (I'm sorry, talk all you want about the Star Wars Universe, it wasn't supposed to be one. Star Wars is Luke's story. Period. In the same way that Blade Runner is Rick Deckard's story.) And finally, the best part of a 2023 Flash movie is 1989 Batman, along with Wonder Woman and Supergirl flashing their ass to camera. This IS the epicentre of the retardation earthquake.

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

@@valentinegonsalves7322💯

Holy shit!! I can't believe how much flash has fallen off at the box office

Another factor in all these flops, on top of the lack of quality, is the sheer volume of releases. It's one big tent pole after another and these movies aren't getting much more than a week before the next big release dilutes their box office potential.

I grew on the Batman animated series and the DCAU, some of the best TV ever Amazing they can create such an amazing animated universe then be so incompetent for movies

It was delightful looking at the box office results. 😂

The Avatar phenomenon can be explained if you look at it as a theme park ride. I can't remember who said it originally but it explains things perfectly.

The only reason I saw the flash was because a storm blew through that Friday and knocked my power out. I needed a way to spend 3 hours cooling off, so the Flash it was

Phase 3 felt so big, unstoppable force. Phase 4 and now 5 make everything before feel small and insignificant. Like they rushed the reboot they desperately wanted

Great show as always, team. Bring back Jedi Brooks for future Open Bar streams please.

Food for thought, group mentions the reset for DC is the Gunn mistake; but the group should have conceeded that Schneiderverse people still demanding that direction. That demand would be a creeping problem pushing forward. If you choose write down on it, assuming you can after all you already wrote down so far. The write down could be after the theatrical release. Miller is the cancer of that casting. It may be the best money game to play it this way.

@freakingweiner

Жыл бұрын

I think DC should have combined Arrow and Man of Steel into the same universe since they were behind Marvel that way Gustin would be the one and only Flash during the last 10 years

Just watched extraction 2 and it was a lot of fun. Great action flick. Looking forward to the next one.

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

💯💯👍👍

The Witcher could have been amazing, and that first Blaviken battle was the height of their potential. The amount of work that went into that and Cavill being at the heart of reshooting it and giving his all to the choreography was where they should've decided to actually LISTEN to him. The first shoot of that scene was boring and Cavill worked closely with the stunt team to make it special. I'm not watching season 3, but I am greatly invested in watching your review of it. Guy Ritchie seems to know Cavill's potential and I hope their latest collaboration gives Cavill the boost he deserves.

The Flash dropped 70%+ this weekend. Making about 15M. Get rekt groomers

@christopherkelley1664

Жыл бұрын

Now he'll need to steal liquor because he can't afford any.

Please start adding timestamps. That'd be super great

Doggo would shame Hegel, Schlegel, Kant and mr. Einstein back into their pretentious burrows. The Drinker is bloody lucky to have this brilliant mind around to steer (and at times) right ! the ship. Doggo is a legend ! The Hercule Poirot of the Hercule Poirots. Why is this hero not knighted yet ?!

Lol I love it bring in Mephisto for a reverse of Renew Your Vows. Instead of creating the beginning of the end, start going away from the slow series death

Drinker, you should really consider trying to get "Just Some Guy" on an open bar sometime.

Glad you had Jedi brooks on! Great channel!

Did you like the part where Fury activates his infrared glasses and only detects the marker paint, and not all the other infrared radiation that would be emanating from everywhere?

My favorites.. Drinker and Nerdrotic.. You have such a Huge following. But now so many morons coming out against you in their stupid videos.

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

💯

Its ok Mauler I'd akin most of Hollywood to that one scene in Down Periscope with the engineer and his bit of string. For those who don't know its a comedy, and the engineer on this old decrepit nuclear submarine at one point tapes a piece of string to the inside of the hull during the depth crush test.

@JohnSmith-sb2fp

Жыл бұрын

It was a diesel sub. and he did it because the old subs hullls were thinner and contract and protract as it dived and surfaced. You could tell the depth as the string dipped in.

With DC, I feel like the combination of Ezra's criminal history, Gunn announcing a reboot with 4 films still on the current slate (why see any of these films if they don't matter?) plus the very public shit canning of Cavill (who is universally well liked) after announcing his return has done A LOT of damage to DC brand on film. Plus nobody wants this MCU but from Wish vibe that the DCU seems to be going for with James Gunn (who's barely an average filmaker at best). Point is, to hang Flash flopping solely on Ezra is to miss the forest for one singular tree. At the end of the day, Warner Bros is a shit company and they've been totally bungling DC films ever since the Nolan trilogy ended.

@A_YouTube_Commenter

Жыл бұрын

The Batman was good.

The lack of fury and shield in endgame felt like one of many misteps for that film.

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

Agreed.

“Midsommar is overrated.” That’s why I love Jedi Brooks

@Brandon-tk2rw

Жыл бұрын

naw it's a legit great film

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

Midsommar looked OK

@chucksenhowzen9740

Жыл бұрын

@@Brandon-tk2rwno it ain’t

@wesleychapman9572

Жыл бұрын

I don't even think it's underrated or overrated...most critics were split. I've actually never heard anyone highly praise the film. The director had a breakout instant cult classic with hereditary...pressure was on with midsommar and it was just ok. His 3rd film isn't even a horror movie...he's admitted he doesn't want to be the next new horror director like Wes Craven.

@TypeLproductions

Жыл бұрын

@@chucksenhowzen9740thanks for telling me how I should feel about the movie. Do you have any other opinions that are factually right?

The funny thing is,WB can turn the tide on this one. Plenty of people are itching to see it cause of Keaton, but feel like they'd be supporting Ezra Miller in the process. If WB came out today and said they'd release Miller from all WB contracts and they should've changed him out, and they were wrong, I think people like myself would be more comfortable seeing it. Ezra's already been paid for his part. The only thing he stands to gain is to continue getting work in Hollywood if this succeeds. People knew that. They didn't show up. If WB made the above statements I'd go see it. Even if it is garbage. I enjoy super heros. I don't enjoy groomers.

@JoshuaKevinPerry

Жыл бұрын

0 % chance of that.

@RatedAwesome

Жыл бұрын

@@JoshuaKevinPerry unfortunately you're correct. They are too narrow sighted to even consider admitting fault. Shame. Hopefully half a billion dollars lost will wake them up.

@tellyfaulkner3466

Жыл бұрын

@@RatedAwesome Nope. They'll have to lose a lot more than that before they wake up. Even then.......

I highly recommend the miniseries The Offer, about the making of The Godfather.

1:14:20 god damn great episode! And yes thank you as well YoungRippa, I’ve been talking about that for, shit, 5 plus years now that even the comics are fucked in their cohesiveness. Great point good sir.

Jeremy Jahns managed to deliver an honest review while guys like Chris Stuckmann went into some mental gymnastics to praise the movie for some reason.

@spacemanspud7073

Жыл бұрын

Which movie?

@Nightstalker314

Жыл бұрын

@@spacemanspud7073 Indy 5

The Gray Man was the best action movie I've seen this year.

@JohnnyBurnes

Жыл бұрын

I was in when Gosling stabbed a guy with chopsticks in the 1rst 10 minutes. 👍 Chris Evans as a villian in loafers and a shitty mustache was also 👍👍.

@failingup4907

Жыл бұрын

@@JohnnyBurnes Every character in that movie was awesome! That's how you do a movie!

Critical drinker sits shirtless in a circle of lambs blood, chanting in a shadowy room. Flickering candles are all that illuminate the grim scene. He holds a brass puzzle box, rubbing and twisting it. It begins to move, changing shape as the room shakes slightly, dust from the rafters sprinkling the macabre scene. If you were in the room, you might be able to make out his hushed mumbling words…well, one word really, uttered over and over, almost inaudible, a whispering chant…”long…long…” A crack appears on the previously seamless box. A tendril of smoke shoots forth, twisting and wrapping itself around the drinkers neck. A booming disembodied voice issues from every corner of the room “why have you summoned me, mortal?” It demands. “Oh great long, lord of mewb, I beseech thee…grant me the ability to drink longer…and maybe a bottle of toilet duck to get me started”. “What do you offer me in return, mortal?” The drinker stops, not sure what to offer an eldritch god of long. What would even entice such an alien entity? As he considers, the voice interrupts “bring me sacrifices. I must consume. Media. Bring me the vile that I may punish it’s transgressions…I have such sights to show you…” Visibly shaken for the first time by the vicious glee in the evil voice, he only whispers “aye” The lights flare and then go out. The smell of things unknown to this world permeated the air, and then a single candles flame flickered back to life. Shadows danced on the walls in the paltry light, but one in particular seemed to move of its own accord. Two pinpricks of crimson light glowed dull but perceptible. “I must feed” hissed a voice, similar in tone but much quieter than the first. The shadow twisted and stretched into impossible shapes and lengths, dancing around the room as if inspecting its surroundings. It approached drinker. He wiped the cold sweat from his brow and inched backwards but the shadow was suddenly upon him, impossibly quick. “I must feed” the voice says again, insistent and with the edge of hunger in its tone. Drinker looked around, but all he could see in the dark was the corner of a boxed set of the Disney sequels laying on the ground a well meaning but misguided relative had sent him for Christmas. Desperately, he grabbed at the dvd set and with trembling hands presented it to the shadow. It recoiled at first, hissing, then he heard what can only be described as a sniffing noise. Then a sneeze. “This is fouler than I anticipated my first meal to be, but it will do. You have done well mortal. Your reward” The shadows spun and curled into a ball on the floor, then stretched again towards the hand holding the dvds. Instinctively drinker dropped it and recoiled but though it fell it never reached the floor. Shadows intercept the box and it’s disappears, never to be seen again. A thunderous burp shook the room again. “That was gross” the drinker said, snapping out of his daze. “Tell me about it” the voice says with a wry tone. For the first time, the drinker noticed something white on the ground where the shadows had previously coalesced. Noticing his curiosity, the shadow retreated to the edge of the light to make room. On the floor was a small bottle. Of toilet duck. “ALRIGHT!!!” Hollered the drinker, snatching the bottle and ripping its top off. He upended it and guzzled until the bottle was empty, then dropped it on the floor, a pleased smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. “More” was all he said. “That’s what I was going to say” whispered the shadows inhuman voice. “So what am I supposed to call you?” Drinker asked, the liquid courage steadying his nerves. “I’ve been called many things, but lately I’ve taken a liking to the name mal’air” hissed the voice. “Mauler? That’s a weird name…” said the drinker, a quizzical look on his face. “No, its…oh never mind…” the voice said, exasperated. It approached the drinker once more, but this time the drinker was unafraid. Nerves steadied and will reinforced, he was merely curious. Attempts to separate the form of the shadow from its surroundings were futile, though he squinted in the barely lit room, attempting to do so anyway. The shadow swirled in a ball again, then stretched up and away. Where it swirled, on the floor a bottle of turpentine lay. Drinker snatched it up with a smile on his face. “This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship” he said as he unscrewed the cap. He drank with gusto while the hissing voice chuckled. “I do have a favor to ask” said the shadows voice. “The treat you gave me was delicious, but I’ll need something to help with the smell. It’s terrible”. The drinker thought for a second. “Don’t know” he said after a moment, happily returning to his bottle. “Check the closet maybe? There’s some old suits, an army surplus ruck sack and some coats, other odds and ends. Maybe you’ll find something you like. Take what you need.” “Excellent” whispered the slithering voice. “Excellent”

Emilia Clark also bombed in a romcom LAST CHRISTMAS but was good in ME BEFORE YOU

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

Odd

@JohnSmith-sb2fp

Жыл бұрын

She is just cute,that's all she's got.

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

@@JohnSmith-sb2fp Exactly.

Smokey represents pretty much how I feel about Marvel since Endgame. I can't watch a single one of their movies or shows without falling asleep (except for No way Home and the Spiderverse ones that are from Sony)

Critical Doggo believes in the maxim that you should never say anything if you can't say something positive

This is Drinker's own EFAP 😊

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

💯👍. Exactly

@-Zakhiel-

Жыл бұрын

This is a comment.

Mission Impossible will do gangbusters. Tom Cruise has a weird past but he has 100% proved he wants to entertain us with fun, escapism and excitement without the BS political messaging at the movies like we used to get from Hollywood. He has the trust of us plebs. We are pretty sure he will produce something damned good. We are starved for decent, no nonsense entertainment and whoever can produce that will be in the mega big bucks. ESG score is the path to communist destruction of business.

@valentinegonsalves7322

Жыл бұрын

Remember, Tom Cruise learnt his lesson. He was all out there jumping on couches and bashing people for calling out his weird ideas as weird. He's out bashing Brooke Shields for seeing a psychologist about post-partum depression. Because Tom's cult views psychiatry as witchcraft. He's beefing with the press. And then he realised it wasn't gonna work and he was being a jackass and he went away and came back with Tropic Thunder and learnt to shut the fuck up, by now, because no one cares about his cult. He had to learn. He did learn and it didn't affect his work ethic. Cheers to the guy. He's hellbent on rescuing movie theatres right now.

Looking forward to Oppenheimer.

Emilia Clark is absolutely adorable and would be perfect on the Hallmark Channel.

Work at a movie theater, it is empty when it comes to the flash and elemental

@christopherkelley1664

Жыл бұрын

Your shifts much drag on these days. No activity lol

With society being off it's balance after the events of infinity war (losing half the population) and then Endgame (gaining back the lost half), having to reincorporate the displayed people back into society, they could have easily had the skrulls infiltrate and seed disfunction as a ploy to claim the earth. They could have also started up a form of the mutant registration act giving marvel a chance to seed in the X-men as well as the Fantastic Four.

Love you Drinker , Keep up the great work mate 🍺 🍻

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

He makes Great content

I honestly agree with Critical Doggo. Best points of view.

Kevin Fiege is the one who has to go before I pay again.

1:02:34 I will literally never understand why they just will not allow Henry Cavil to be a fucking movie star 🤦‍♂️ Especially in a time where they see that we need more of them because ole Scientologist Tom Cruise will not be here forever and they see how much we need actual move stars.

@JohnSmith-sb2fp

Жыл бұрын

Huwhite males bad.

Y’all forgot about Agent Coulson, dude was super fucking dead and Fury had the tech to bring him back to life in Agents of Shield.

How can I find the stream for these on Thursdays? I'm not getting any notifications for when Open bar goes live and I searched both channels for the live stream. If anyone can help thanks in advance

@MegaSpideyman

Жыл бұрын

It should be on Drinker's The Critical Drinker channel, around 9 PM or so.

What pissed me off about Mando is "where are all the guns"? This is an Roman Empire style collapse.

Love this content 😊. It’s soooo entertaining and fun to watch😊