THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!!! I was afraid that I clicked on another video about the typical "self-love high standards cutting people off" stuff, but it wasn't. Honestly at one point I really got influenced by all this self-improvement stuff about cutting friends off that aren't "good enough" to fit your standards or aren't self-improving or fitting gour expectations that I lost all of my best friends and I'm so devastated about the way I acted, just treating them all like trash in a very narcissistic way while they did everything for me. I lost 4 of my best friends of 6 years, who were actually the realest friends who actually understood me and we connected so much with each othwr. But I listened to social media that told me my friends weren't good enough. So, now I listen to myself. And I've grown a lot since then, I feel like I've become a completely different person, learnt a lot of lessons, but I've also lost a lot. I don't think I can really ever get over it. So, don't make my mistake, people. Don't be idealistic. Be realistic. and yes, walk away if necessary, but that is not often the answer. Everything is circumstancial so take social media advice with a grain of salt; it's often misleading. But this video really is talking about the stuff that is not talked about on social media. Especially that point about needing better friendships, not better friends, and that you shouldn't believe that your friends are "not good enough" to your standards. Anyway. The lesson I learnt is: Don't be spoiled. Don't be idealistic in your standards, there's no such thing as a "perfect friend". Seek perfection and you will end up with nothing. Appreciate what you have and be content in the present moment rather than idealizing a perfect future. Value what you have. See the good in people rather than focusing on their "flaws". Accept yourself and people the way you/they are. Accept life the way it is and don't force it. PEOPLE ARE NOT DISPOSABLE. RESPECT people. Don't be self-centered or have main character syndrome and think you're somehow special or better than everybody else; the only reason you'd do that is if you're very insecure. Basically, don't be delusional and think with magical thinking, life doesn't work that way and I learnt it the hard way as a very spoiled child. Don't immediately give up on friendships because they don't match your standards; cutting people off is the LAST option!!!!!!!!!!!! You will always end up with nothing if you're searching for perfection and nothing is ever good enough for you. I hope that someone can save their friendships by taking in my message, because currently what's going on on social emdia is influencing people to believe that loneliness is a good thing. Self-love my ass, it's just self-isolation that has made me an anxious, lonely wreck. Anyways, sorry for this paragraph, good video

@victorialim

Ай бұрын

@@heyyy1325 Glad that you resonated w it! Agree that people aren’t disposable and it’s important to be realistic about your relationships. thanks so much for taking the time to leave your comment :)

Great advice, especially paradigm shifts about friendships. During these years of struggling with post-uni lifestyle, I thought about the importance of one-on-one relationships more than group friendships because groups were difficult - plus I did not focus on many one-on-ones all the years of being in school. These days, I had considered that the bigger the group, the more cumbersome and inertia filled. In this video, both mindset shifts you have presented helped me to re-consider that the quality of friendships matter more than the type of friends we are (friends being in groups versus one-on-one). Thank you!

@victorialim

2 жыл бұрын

Funny because growing up I thought it was the other way around (groups were more fun and "better" than one-on-ones -- grass is really greener on the other side huh)! Glad it helped and thanks for sharing your own perspective :)

Hey Vic, when I'm watching your videos I always feel like I'm having a cosy conversation with a best friend. Thank you for your wonderful content, Vic.

@victorialim

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this lovely comment - this is exactly what I hope people feel when watching :’)

friendships change once women get married and have children, they forget their friends who are single and not paired up

Oh Vic ! Vic! Vic! Vic! You really hit it on point Everytime! Friendship are , i think one of the best relations in life, not just good friendship but even the bad friendships, because that is how we learn the distinction between good and bad. I am in 12th grade and the academic pressure on us is insane, like i and my friends are studying for like 15-18 hours everyday for past 6 months and it is a lot of stress, the stress is to the point where each one of us doubt ourselves everyday. And nowadays people remember someone only when they need something from them. So i di the polar opposite of it , i ask them every other day whether they are fine or not? and no not the casual "Hi!How are you doing?" , I literally ask them "Hi! Are you FINE? Physically & emotionally ?" They get annoyed at me but i still do it😅 , cause there have been quite a lot of times when they not doing well at all, but my this habit helped them just let it all out. By the way , Mah frand Vic! Are you fine? Physically and emotionally?😁 One last thing Vic, your are videos are just getting better and better. So keep up with the great work 😁👍🏻

@victorialim

2 жыл бұрын

that's really kind of you to do for your friends! and yes -- I am fine physically and emotionally, I hope you are too :) all the best for your 12th grade exams coming up, you can do it! and thank you as always for the support :)

there are not as many films on the complexities of friendship as there are on those of romance... but in many ways, i think friendship is actually harder to measure and define. lovely video! :)

@victorialim

2 жыл бұрын

Agreed! :’)

These are such great reminders Vic!

@victorialim

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you xiaoyun :’))) for always watching!

Thank you for your recommendations. You always have a homie in Mexico: me.

I needed this so much. Thank you❤ also just asking, would you ever consider starting a podcast? I would LOVE to listen to you!

@victorialim

Жыл бұрын

Hey Diya, thank you for your kind comment! perhaps one day - although it’s not currently on the cards, I never say never :) thanks for your support x

Can make video on as an introvert how to live happily alone, I always feel confidence when am alone, apart from my office and work I like to be alone.

@victorialim

2 жыл бұрын

I've done something similar here: kzread.info/dash/bejne/pIuhmMSyobW1eJM.html and here: kzread.info/dash/bejne/naeF0LCopcyppKw.html ! enjoy :)