For anyone reading this, in whatever you’re going through, just know I’m rooting for you.

@tanyadevilliers1663

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you. so needed xxxx 💟

@kcole5177

3 жыл бұрын

TY🙋💙

@michaelalten9524

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much. I am going through it.

@dublinlassdana6544

10 ай бұрын

Thank you!!❤❤❤

Whilst the victim ends up in therapy and on a long long road to recovery, the narcissist simply moves on and wonders why you can't do the same.

@cairosilver2932

3 жыл бұрын

They don't wonder about the victim, IMO their inner pain compels them to just focus on the next source of supply.

@malcador

3 жыл бұрын

They use it to show people (and themselves) how negative and crazy you are so the failed relationship can be your fault. If you think about it, its a blessing. They will constantly place the blame on other people and never change. We will change and find a healthy sense of self. We are here because we care about our flaws and the ways we are unhealthy. They don't care and WONT CHANGE.

@simplyauthentic2022

3 жыл бұрын

@@cairosilver2932 yup, and if they are thinking about you they are thinking about how much theu hate you for leaving them. Quite honestly I don't give a shit what the narcissist thinks.

Im absolutely destroyed. Exhausted. Trying to get better.

@tanyadevilliers1663

3 жыл бұрын

My body has collapsed I understand. xxx

@lesleygarvs4640

3 жыл бұрын

Zero contact... Take salt bath everyday... Put your best clothes... Don t let yourself see you depressed or sad, etc... Green juices, to clean all these toxic liquids produced by the brain by so much excitement... Hug a tree and go barefoot at the beach or garden... Good luck!

@tanyadevilliers1663

3 жыл бұрын

Dear Lesley. nature. how kind of u to remind me. I have been detoxing 3 days. only have oolong tea. sobbing. I was a tree hugger. I did absorb nature's energy. I have forgotten these things. u have reminded me. my energy is low. but a big courtcase still going on 2 years. about my daughter. 😢 as well xxxxx 🌹🌹 I hope you are fine.

@lesleygarvs4640

3 жыл бұрын

@@tanyadevilliers1663 hi, Tanya! At the moment all seem like an impossible mission... Yet, it all comes from the excess of abuse... Forgive yourself and little by little your life will redirect in the right direction... You ll start to see things far from you, as opposed as occurring to you... Good that you sent him to court, you are not alone, they ll find out the truth... Enjoy each moment of your life, pamper yourself, get manicures😁💅... Anything goes in term to forget the trauma... Massages, spa... You are a champion, and a survivor!! Enjoy, bye... Send you a big hug! 🤗❤️🌴

@tanyadevilliers1663

3 жыл бұрын

@@lesleygarvs4640 what a beautiful message. wow. xxxx I thank you so muchxxx💜💜💜💜 very kind. xxx

I learned that he was a definite covert narcissist. I should have listened to my gut.

When worry ends, faith begins 💖

@tanyadevilliers1663

3 жыл бұрын

Beautiful words dear Emman. I am still being threatened. my daughter and myself verbally and physically abused. I have faith. but it becomes a complete mess when ones child was harmed. I am at a loss for words. xxxc

@shancabezas

3 жыл бұрын

@@tanyadevilliers1663 I'm sorry about that, you will get through it. Just stay strong. Go NC.

@tanyadevilliers1663

3 жыл бұрын

@@shancabezas thank you. and for u. xxxx

Michele help us who were raised by narcissists to avoid more narcissistic relationships. It's awful

I was blown away. Many melt downs / break downs in the 14 year insane marriage to a passive aggressive covert narc. Left June 2017. Yet another melt down / breakdown July 2017. Horrendous. I couldn't believe that I was falling apart at every seam. So wobbly - unable to eat - unable to sleep - no emotions - just numb. Totally disconnected from self. No energy. Listless. Horrendous. Luckily I have animals - so I had to force myself to get moving and keep moving. It was ghastly. I thought that leaving would mean it was all over. It had only just begin. Adrenal fatigue

@Karlien68

3 жыл бұрын

Same here...

@tanyadevilliers1663

3 жыл бұрын

I relate. adrenalin fatigue if you can find it. Holy basil. my daughter was also abused. but yes my animals keep me going. I am in a breakdown now. I am completely disfunctional. But must appear fine to keep my child safe He has flying monkeys. But one thing I know is. The Almighty is watching. xx

@allywolf9182

3 жыл бұрын

Is called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. And it's probably complex-PTSD if you were in it for years with no way to escape. No fun, very few medical people have any real understanding of what we have been through. Only because i was repeatedly raped and need reconstructive surgery did i find help. And it's 3 years later and my life is still in shambles

@tanyadevilliers1663

3 жыл бұрын

raped as well. 3 operations. 2 to come. 😢 I am so so sorry. and my daughters forensic reports don't look that good. I live in shock fear more than depression. xxx My prayers will truly be with you whom have responded to the msg I have send. your names all on my phone. xxxxx 🌹🌹🌹🌹

@tanyadevilliers1663

3 жыл бұрын

@@Karlien68 I am so sorry. xxxxx 🌹 me to....

Another symptom that I have is being easily startled

@prairieN

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah, the hypervigilance is always on

@tanyadevilliers1663

3 жыл бұрын

I know 😢

@chrissearcher3563

3 жыл бұрын

He used to purposely startle me and then laugh and make fun of me, encouraging my kids to join in

@eph2vv89only1way

3 жыл бұрын

@@chrissearcher3563 Reminds me of my dad. He would come up behind us kids and give us a slap or grab or something out of the blue. Then one time when I was about 14 I finally had enough and both my mom and dad yelled at me and shamed me for “rejecting his way of showing love”

@chrissearcher3563

3 жыл бұрын

@@eph2vv89only1way oh I am so sorry! Unbelievable, right? Who does that to a kid?

I was born into this........ only just found out. I'm 52.

@FromSurvivingToThriving

3 жыл бұрын

Many are born into it!! It would've been great to have this info. when we were younger but.... better late than never!!! Hugs

@LinNoOne

3 жыл бұрын

My husband and I are in the same boat. We are 50.

@Vwants2knowY

3 жыл бұрын

We were all 1970’s babies 🤔?! Huh...? Makes me wonder.....

Michele You saved my life!! I can’t thank you enough!! I was pregnant with our 3rd child and wondering why I was so depressed and having so much anxiety and I stumbled on your video and LEFT. That will be 2 years ago on May 15,2021 THANK YOU MICHELE!!! What you do is touching Lives for the better

I often feel hypervigilant when I'm in unfamiliar situations. If I'm around people I don't know very well, it's like an extreme stranger danger alert system comes on in my brain.

I needed this today I feel I got over my C-PTSD but sometimes slip back Now I understand I also have to work on my subconscious mind Your videos help me out so much ☺️

@AmethystDreaming

3 жыл бұрын

Me too

Omg my boundaries caused the discard. That’s actually empowering! This is amazing, thank you!

@manonales

3 жыл бұрын

Yep. This happened with my narc boyfriend of 7 years and i felt the same way about my narc mother. And it seems that some of my colleagues are just aquiantainces not friends.

💯 💯. Took longer than I thought it should take me. Frustrated me & we have to give ourselves time & space.

I moved out of my very toxic family environment a year ago with the help of a friend. She let me stay at her house temporarily as I worked in a daze and unfortunately in a very abusive healthcare environment where I was the target of much bullying. I was 82 pounds when I finally left that job in January. I picked up another job and only lasted a month because of the emotional depletion and even more bullying. Let me just say that it's not enough to just physically move away. The healing process is so complex and so lonely. My year is almost up at this house and I have nowhere to go. I cannot move back to the toxic family's house but I may have to. I'm praying that I don't. I won't make it out in one piece. Please keep me in your prayers. I used to be so much more resilient. I'm grateful to Michelle for her videos. They are always insightful and inspirational. xo

@fatemaalzari837

3 жыл бұрын

Sending you love, Cindy. May you find the support you need ❤️🙏🏼

@cindy7733

3 жыл бұрын

@@fatemaalzari837 I didn't. I'm back in abusive family home. Been here for almost a month and every single day my physical health has declined. Won't get into details but my celiac disease, which they have always disregarded has progressively gotten worse. I have an appoinmt w/ gi dr next week. Still searching high and low for a job that will pay enough to make rent on my own. In the meantime, if you only knew.....and I, who hate asking for help, caved and reached out to every organization I could think of, 211, catholic charities, etc etc the list goes on and have gotten zero support. So i'm praying and crying a lot and trying to not give up hope. I feel like i'm living in jail....tiptoeing around and silencing myself so that i don't say anything that might cause more problems. It is an exhausting nightmare. Anyone with celiac disease knows how important it is to maintain a very clean environment in the kitchen for health reasons. They don't care. They treat me like it's all in my head and that I'm OCD and paranoid and use it as a weapon to degrade me even more. It is sickening. My mother mocks me behind my back about being paranoid about getting glutened. She consistently tells me that it's all in my head. Yeah, ok? Whatever. I have an army of flying monkeys (5 siblings and an aunt) who are very much involved in actively bullying me. I honestly hope God puts me out of my misery either by taking my life so I can just be happy in heaven or by providing me with a miracle because this isn't a way to live every day. It simply isn't. It makes no sense. I'm not suicidal. NOt going to kill myslef but i'm not going to lie either. This is just too much for one person to bare. Maybe I'm not as strong as others who are enduring this. IDK. Anyway, sorry for the vent session. THank you for your kindness and support. xo

@angelamossucco2190

8 ай бұрын

❤

Wow, everything that was said in this video as for symptoms are exactly what I was saying last night and crying about out of frustration. It’s like every second you find out that something new that you are experiencing is all apart of the CPTSD. It’s like 🥴😑

@tanyadevilliers1663

3 жыл бұрын

triggers are all over everywhere in my life. xxx

@chrissy34787

3 жыл бұрын

@@tanyadevilliers1663 yea, you feel so weird right! You feel like no one will truly understand what you’ve been through and they probably think you’re being dramatic but this stuff is real! The human body should not have to go through so much pain. Honestly, I now understand why people have a mental break and do not come back from it! I don’t know how I did! I know it’s not even a year yet for me but I just hate how I feel like “ok, I’m recovering I’m good” so then I start to come out my shell then a week later it’s like boom! I’m down for a month or a few because I thought I was ok but I wasn’t. It just that I was staying away from all triggers so that I wouldn’t have a mental break! Then I came out my shell unknowing and got triggers by everything under the sun and crashed right back! It’s so frustrating!! I just want it to end! It’s like will I ever be normal again!!! Ugh and the numbness you feel becomes super apparent when you’re in a store and cannot feel any energy from anyone and just feel so empty and numb inside. I wouldn’t wish this on my enemy.

My fiance shot himself under his chin literally blowing his brains out after holding his gun under my chin. Before that he went into a total rage. This happened December 17 2019. I an still seeing a therapist for ptsd and cptsd. I am working ot out with EMDR.

This is 💯 accurate .. after 4 years of not knowing what was happening .... I googled “what does it mean when” and gaslighting came up ... that started the learning of what my husband was doing .. then I started to withdraw for my own sanity then I Gray rocked him and slowly plotted getting out of the Marriage

@manonales

3 жыл бұрын

That's how it all starts. You feel lost, hopeless, feel like you're losing your mind, alone, no one next to you, at times living isolated. I knew deep in my gut that something wasn't right that's when i went on YT and found Michelle.

I came out of a narssisitic relationship and almost straight into another less violent relationship/marriage. I turn 60 in 2 months and I am just now trying to forgive myself, to love myself, and I'm having those flashbacks. It tough but I'm still learning. I am a normal loving lady.

I was just starting to heal some trauma when lock down struck. No therapy, no healing, but plenty of information.

@Karlien68

3 жыл бұрын

The discard happened in the beginning of lockdown...of was evil and shattering..

So much better than hearing "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" "you are your outlook on life" "could have been so much worse" "I can't help u if u refuse to try" "you just have fleas from being the only same one in a family of crazies"

That's really really tough. Having CPTSD & trying not to have a mental breakdown is really exhausting.

Body - brain dysregulation. Unconscious thought patterns-emotions emerge. Feel the emotions patterns and change it.

I did 3 years of counseling and my counselor and I felt it was as far as I needed to go at that point. But after a year I found areas that still needed work so now I am back in counseling (by phone now due to being in my province’s third lockdown)

I had these feelings and thoughts all whilst being in the relationship; it was a constant battle in my mind and in the relationship. Now that I’m no longer in it, I feel like the person who I was before the relationship - happy, hopeful, positive and confident (even though I was broken up with for the second time).

One thing I learned, and I learned it the hard way,we are responsible for our happiness and sanity, so yeah if this happens to you, you must learn to let go in order to receive, getting toxic people out of your life is like a breath of fresh air, and having positive people in your life, and another thing is stop emotional thinking about them,let them go so you can receive 👍 up Michelle.

@dawnacoxon3111

3 жыл бұрын

Your whole comment is good but the “stop the emotional thinking about them” that hit hard (in a good way). Great advice.

@garycordle5295

3 жыл бұрын

@@dawnacoxon3111 thank you,it really helps you get over them,you always have that what if, it's not our fault at all they are toxic, it's not our fault their a predator, just learn to love ourselves and lesson learned.

@dawnacoxon3111

3 жыл бұрын

@@garycordle5295 appreciate that :)

@tanyadevilliers1663

3 жыл бұрын

trying

I so very often like i take 3 steps forward at times. This lasts a few weeks and then something happens and I take 6 steps back.

Michele I just want to say a huge thank you. My mom is a narcissist and 3 years ago I moved half way across the country and went no contact. I’ve been in therapy and church making progress. I recently discovered your content and I have to say just from listening to you talk about what I’ve been through has brought tremendous validation. And just through that I’m already seeing myself open up more and heal. Thank you for your wisdom it’s been such a blessing

I needed this today. Thank you.

When I was in my marriage, I was in survival mode but I said to myself "omg, am I going to have something happen down the road?" (uh yep!) this is VALIDATING!

So happy I found this information

Thank you Michele !

Thank you for theses videos, they are really helpful ❤️🙏🏽

Absolutely true! Thanks! Totally love your nails! 💅😍😍

Truly next level personal growth presentation. A dive "head" first into understanding & unraveling a point in time best left there.

Thank you Michelle, everything you say is true. I. am so grateful for your support.

I scored 100% on every part of this. I see a lot of work to do in my near future. Thank you so much Michele for the information. I filled up 4 pages of paper 📃 with notes 📝from the video. I really needed this. 💝

Thank you so much for this video. I just kept nodding my head and say yes, yes that's me. I understand now that I need to be patient with myself and because of your video, I feel like I have a better understanding of what lies ahead for healing. You have such a conversational manner of presenting this essential information. Thank you for your guidance and for making me feel like I'm not going crazy. It helps so much to know I'm not alone in what I am going through and that there is validation in the abuse that I have endured. I didn't make it up in my head, I wasn't crazy. He was and will always be. Not my focus anymore though. Only working on myself and so goal-oriented to get back to my authentic self.

Goodness, this is so what I need in my life. You are speaking directly to my 40 year life experiences. Wow!

TY for sharing the practical steps to overcome CPTSD Michele 🙏♥️ Much Appreciated

Absolutely awesome!

Omg! This is the exact story of what I've been going through lately. Thank you for explaining the process of healing so clearly 🍃🌼🤲 makes me be certain that I've got the control of this sitaution because it is what I've been doing, but I need to find a way to make it stick ❤❤ thank you so much! You're amazing

This is Truth!🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯

@brittnierene03

3 жыл бұрын

I'm a mess... the list resonates.. I feel at war, just keep pushing through... I'm so tired. I'm ready to run away and disappear.

I really needed this. Sigh of relief. 😢

@tanyadevilliers1663

3 жыл бұрын

sweetheart. understand xxx 💞

Great video

@garybills8683

3 жыл бұрын

I’m really stuck until I can get away from the narcissist. I can’t grow. Absolutely a complete nightmare

Your video, 20 symptoms of narcissistic abuse syndrome was my wake up moment!!!!! Where is this video? I can't find it now ❤️🙏🏻

Hi Michele... I went through this the way you described. I knew all along something was off and eventually found some information on narcissistic abuse. I felt I couldn’t leave and gradually started to stand up for myself, create boundaries, and call out behaviors. I was able to get out of the relationship one year ago and started no contact about 2/3 months after the breakup. I started my journey to recovery like you said focusing on myself- why did I fall for this, why did I think I deserved so little, why didn’t I have boundaries, why did I have such little self esteem. And my recovery went very smoothly on that end, I was doing great for 7/8 months. Then something changed and I’m not sure what because nothing bad has been happening in my life. I started to feel like what happened wasn’t validated, as if it doesn’t even feel real, like it never even happened. I knew this feeling was off but I thought it’s okay since I am doing good. But then I slipped up no contact- only by looking at his socials- and realized no, this isn’t okay. I broke a boundary I had set up for myself with no contact. And now I am just confused. I think I was looking on the socials to see if I felt that what happened was real, if it was still valid.

@garycordle5295

3 жыл бұрын

Shannon it was real, and it's not your fault you bumped into a predator that can never be fixed, I had been their to, learn to stop emotional thinking about them and learn to let go of people that don't serve you, and now you're no contact work on you and just you,you will love the new you, make sure you find the real you but only a stronger you 👍 up you got this.

@shannonfilialunae1359

3 жыл бұрын

@@garycordle5295 thank you. it’s just bothering me that I am virtually blocking what happened almost in my mind.

@garycordle5295

3 жыл бұрын

@@shannonfilialunae1359 it will bother you if you let it, that's the emotional thinking 🤔 work on stopping the emotional thinking, it's not your fault.🙏 And your welcome

I Loooove this. You’re amazing. Oh I found another phrase for your list. What about this one. “Future baiting”

Dear Michele, thanks for this helpful video. 👍 ⭐ 🌟 ⭐ 🌟 ⭐ 💞🌹💝

Yeah, but IMO it can be like when your feet are cold and you go to step into a nicely warm bath. The bath isn't hot, but to our foot it feels scolding. So it's hard to enter into that core wound not just because of the pain of the past but because of the warm also feeling like it hurts because we've been out in the cold for so long. Finding that nicely warm water is nice rather than scalding, by slowly warming up our 'foot' to it, I think it takes time to warm up just like we keep dipping our foot into the bath.

I'm still stuck in the beginning, I struggle with doubt. "Am I the crazy one?", "I'm too sensitive, even my therapist says I'm very sensitive"... "maybe all my symptoms are bad luck, coming out of nowhere, maybe I'm just whimsical and ungrateful".... I can't help but coming back to those thoughts even though I absorbed tons of information and recognized my whole family in the narc description but it's still too hard to believe...

Thank you for good video clips It is still very difficult to find peace in yourself even if you are yourself show things you are a little hurt by it is just as if you do not know when to chop when you follow a track pattern it is in I sit in quicksand when you try to say no, strangely enough you do not feel good about it as if it is more important she feels good gets her will through simple things that are still difficult to handle it becomes like a compulsion to do it the other way takes a lot of energy hardest of all that you get angry at yourself there is peace but the anxiety of never knowing when you get scolded for nothing how can it be so too loving to be blown away until March ...

your voice sounds good with that mic

Thank you!! I put an end to reactive abuse.

🎯😩😑🤦💯THANK YOU Michele🙋❤.

I detoxed myself of everyone and isolated myself 2020

Thank you so much...still trying to heal 🙏

@tanyadevilliers1663

3 жыл бұрын

U are not alone. still wake up crying. cannot function as yet.

@Karlien68

3 жыл бұрын

@@tanyadevilliers1663 A lot of hugs and love honey...it will get better slowly...you are not alone going through this...We can do this 🙏

@tanyadevilliers1663

3 жыл бұрын

Thank u.💟 so much. hyperventilating as it is. kind words thank you so muchxxx 💜

@tanyadevilliers1663

3 жыл бұрын

@@Karlien68 let's stay strong as a team .... We must learn to love ourselves again. xxxx

@Karlien68

3 жыл бұрын

@@tanyadevilliers1663 Yes we do...and being mild to ourselves...not being too strong...that is why we stayed too long in a toxic situation. Getting to know ourselves, approving ourselves, healing codependancy.... I guess that's why this is happening...to save us...to have a new life. It is not a walk in the park...that is true...but we will persevere in this marathon to selflove and a new beautiful life 😉😘🙏

You looking awesome lovely

Michele ❤️❤️❤️🤗

ptsd can start years later mine wasn’t processed until 5/6 years later

Thanks & good job! What if my authentic self is a nihilistic narcissist? 🤔😕😛

I don't think I've heard of the term pacifying before. Have you made videos on that topic?

Hi Michelle, the links above aren't opening. Does it mean they're not longer available?

it is a life and death wound......................i want to live before I die.

what's Object Constancy and Personality Swapping

Why are we getting thumbs down??

Beautiful flower....your makeup or your clothes is not what make you so beautiful...it' just accentuates the beauty that has always ben there... Perfect girl...who is even more beautiful without her makeup....thank you for this...I'm putting on my uniform and my vest now and heading out to work... hoping you are safe tonight... always Don

I’ve been diagnosed with chronic ptsd. Is that the same as complex?

@prairieN

3 жыл бұрын

Yes

Whats with these photos

HOW DO I REPARENT MYSELF?:(

@andreamagyar5541

3 жыл бұрын

Check on John Bradshaw .☺

I became codependency hater, now I am going past that but now I am afraid of angry people who I am bump into everywhere

❤ XOXOXOXOXOXO