Part of the reason wizards study so long is to learn how to say prestidigitation. They spend years mastering that before becoming a fully fledged level 1 wizard who dies to d4 damage.

I looked up the last story: the DM was flaky, so everyone took a turn at DMing the campaign. That's the REAL horror story here.

@Metal_Horror

Жыл бұрын

Yeah I was like what? Vincent is DMing? So I went back to the beginning and it turns out they all dmed. The story is very vague on this point and kind of implies (imo) that they thought this is how it's usually done. But anyway I guess you looked it up.

@nvfury13

Жыл бұрын

I’ve done it, it works well with a decent co-DM, especially if you have a couple storylines running and each of you handles one, each has it’s own secrets and baddies which then means the ones playing that time have no special knowledge.

>wizard casts fireball >Fireball burns all the books in the room they needed >"Why are all the books burnt?!"

First Story: The f*ck... Second Story: FiRe dOnT DaMaGe pApEr... (a Decade later) GrEaT SwOrD DoNt lEaVe wOuNdS... Third Story: ME VINCENT, ME POWERFULL, ME GREAT WARRIOR GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

The guys in the first story did a campaign worth of plot leads in one session

Story 3, Vincent sounds like a guy name Vincent that used to play out our local game store until his repeated derailing, murdering, and backstabbing the party of the group he was playing with got him a ban from the DND encounters events then banned from the store the next week. The guy went as far as to email wizards of the coast to lodge a formal complaint against the DM of the game because he wasn't letting him do whatever he wanted and kill important NPC's and other party members. Spoiler: Hoard of the dragon queen, the group walks through an area with dangerous looks mushroom and fungi everywhere. After everyone rolls well and they clear the room with no issue he tells the dm, "I want to hit the mushrooms with my staff". Caused spores to spray over the entire party and everyone makes Con saves, couple members fail, one crit fails. They have a permanent effect form the spores. The group recovers a few Black dragon eggs and returns to the town. Vincent brings the egg into the meeting with the town magistrate who immediately points to the egg asking what its origin. He already suspects its a dragon egg and Vincent proudly boats his suspicions that it was a black dragon egg and it was his. The magistrate orders guards to destroy the egg as it will hatch into an evil dragon. Vincent objects, saying he is going to raise it as a pet and mount. The guards ignore Vincent and stab and smash the egg on the magistrates order. Vincent complains and wines that it was his property and they had no right to destroy it and approaches the magistrate to talk to him. Vincent's next words, I pull a dagger out as I approach and stab him. (not quoted but very close to it). He kills the magistrate and the guards in turn kill him. Cut to cries of how that wasn't fair, why did they attack me? I shouldn't be dead. You're being unfair. DM agrees to have him revived but the entire game derails to getting him to a wizard to place a curse on him so he can not murder anyone again without causing massive pain in his head. He agrees to this happening to his char so they can continue the game. During the trip he keeps trying to escape, even casting invisibility on himself and sneaking out in the middle of the night once to be captured again by the group and the DM had enough at this point and the guards transporting the group just kill his character right there and take the body back with them. Jump 2 week later, Vincent made a new character and rejoins the game. Not even before the end of the first session its reveled he is the daughter of his previous character and came to take revenge on the party for letting him be killed. DM stops the game and tells him he is not related to his other character and if he's going to keep trying to kill the party or otherwise derail the game he will be asked to leave. After a bit they return to the game for Vincent to try to kill one of the party, still claiming to be the daughter of his old character. Booted from the game. He causes a scene with threats then our store gets a notice about DM being abusive and disrespectful to a player. Yup, from Vincent. No less than a dozen people report to the store and they respond to WoTC. And that is how he became banned from the store. Still threatening the DM and now the store about how he's going to get WoTC to stop the encounters from their store. yadda yadda. Probably the same guys. Sounds like him for sure.

The first one sounds like a campaign I had been in! The whole thing with starting with two people about the undying stone, and then being tricked by the bartender using the exact same line and the DMPC coming out of a locked box If this is the same session I tried to joined, then the DM had also tried pulling in players mid session to join, which was me in this case. I wasn’t told anything about world building, and was expected to make a character and enter right away. I was midway making the character when the campaign just felt off, so I dipped. Only to later contacted by one of the people in the session saying I had the right to dip :P

That first story felt like a fever dream

I listen to this while I play a game, and after the second story ended with the words "Then and there" some random character in the game I played said "Perfect". I just thought the timing were perfect. Give your kittens some extra petting from me good sir.

That first story feels like the kind of D&D I used to play with a friend at age 13 making up shit as we went along

@Kfaircloth13457

Жыл бұрын

That's how we played when I was young. Went to my first official game last week knowing full well I knew nothing about the game. Was told by a friend before hand that playing a cleric would be easy and to start with one. We started at lvl 5..... Bless the DM and the rest of the table for how great they were to me!

@Michaeljack81sk

Жыл бұрын

@@Kfaircloth13457 Glad you found a nice group and your first "real" game was a good one. If you're playing 5E then Clerics are, pardon the pun godly. Between healing word, spiritual weapon and Spirit Guardians you can really make a difference in battle

Dude I was in a vent and I got fireballed by accident. My character was also Reduced in size. It was hilarious and the character that fireballed me just stayed on the floor face first out of shame.

Persuading anything to give up its eggs is asinine. Don't believe me try to convince a woman to let you have her baby and you will probably end up talking to Chris Hansen

@gnollsuwu3861

Жыл бұрын

The only time I've heard of a woman giving up a child was during the Vietnam war, there was a woman with a hog and a child, they told her she could only have one passenger and she left the child because "she could just have another later". I know it's got nothing to do with the situation that you speak of but it's the only time I've ever heard of a woman be like, "I don't need my child like I'll need food"

@demetriopedrini8201

Жыл бұрын

Actually a lots of animals are more than willing to abandon their children for their own safety. Caring for the children is mostly a thing of mammals

@Arthas30000

Жыл бұрын

Exactly. At most, the persuasion should have been "if you pass, they don't immideately attack you, believing you have benevolent intentions" followed by them attacking if any hostility is felt. Like the age old adage: "I persuade the king to give me his kingdom" DM: roll persuasion so that the king will consider NOT executing you on the spot

@williamyates7679

Жыл бұрын

@@demetriopedrini8201 all the avian species would like a word. Furthermore spiders often literally die to provide food for their young

@gnollsuwu3861

Жыл бұрын

@@Arthas30000 "Caution is nothing without Charisma. For if a man plays the fool, then it's only fools he'll persuade. But appear to be the devil then all men will submit" Edward Thatch

What the second story made me realize A BOOK has more hp then some players. You know there’s something wrong

@l0stndamned

Жыл бұрын

I've seen some rather hefty books, and some very weak players, so not too far out :)

@akmi1931

Жыл бұрын

Only in the sense that the stabbed, damaged remains of both will still exist. The only thing to change is the general usefulness of both.

@akmi1931

Жыл бұрын

@@somad6997 I realize that and was my point

"How many hit points do you think a book has?" -I laughed for a second before you went "eight" and I was like, "that wasn't a joke?" Still funny, and in hindsight I shouldn't really be too surprised.

@largeone923

Жыл бұрын

Average Human Commoner: 4 HP Some random fuckin' book on the ethics of ladders in modern society: 8 HP

@AdmiralBlackstar

Жыл бұрын

@@largeone923 I mean, depending on the thickness of the book I could see it. And now I'm wondering if heavy ones can be used as weapons.

@crunchyscorpio9186

Жыл бұрын

@@AdmiralBlackstar Where do you think the phrase "Throw the book at them" comes from? :)

@eldarhighelfhealermiriella7653

Жыл бұрын

@@AdmiralBlackstar Ever put a book on a bonfire?. They are quite hard to get consumed entirely. The fire consume the first and last 3 or 5 pages and the rest are consumed little by little from the sides. Eventually the ashes/charcoal are so much that it protects the rest 75% of the book as the fire die out. You have to grab a stick and "stab" the book while it's on fire to get ir consumed entirely.

@gramfero

Жыл бұрын

A book (tiny object, paper material) would have 2 HP and 11 AC If it's a magic book it'd have resistance to all damage

The 2nd dm probably should’ve said “are you sure” before he let the wizard casted it

@BlueTressym

Жыл бұрын

It might have been useful but no one really has any business being all surprised Pikachu face if a spell that makes a huge ball of fire and specifically notes in its description that it damages objects- damages objects. I mean, if they were new, I would say something but otherwise, it doesn't take a genius to know that a fireball in a library is a terrible idea.

About Vincent's story. Sounds like Vincent was secondary DM for a purposes of creating his OP DMPC. Apparently original DM is Vincent's Friend or just spinless guy. Vincent's OP DMPC can persuade spiders to give up their eggs, because he had something like +30 to persuasion, and DM beings a spineless friend.

@alarkhar

Жыл бұрын

...Spiders are beasts, and Vincent is NOT a druid. He shouldn't be able to persuade any of them.

@muskdeer

Жыл бұрын

@@alarkhar That is why I added "... DM beings a spineless friend..." 😁

@alarkhar

Жыл бұрын

@@muskdeer Sorry, didn't get it.

That third story fucked my head, so many utterly ridiculous scenarios that most dms would just say no to lol

Lik, coment, an subscrib! DO EEET! 19:25 - "Vincent is level 30 while everyone else is level 16." WE'VE GOT A SIERRA!!!!

@spectrelead

Жыл бұрын

Yep, that's what it sounds like.

The amount of times the word "literally" was said without real reason almost gave me a greatsword heart attack.

@goncalocarneiro3043

Жыл бұрын

It almost made me "entire room unmolested by three grenades going off inside it".

A GLOCK in a medieval fantasy campaign? MILLIONS of undead Roman soldiers from a forest? You'd think that would be rather hard to hide from PC's. Story 2: Fireball isn't intelligence DUDE. It can't be just made to hit NPC's - it also damages and destroys things in the area. LOL, how can you explain sword wounds on a body and claim it's a heart attack? A great sword is going to leave a bloody mess. NO way around this. Story 3: Vincent seems AWFULLY lucky on those rolls. Vincent creeping out other players. HOW do you persuade a giant spider into giving you their unhatched babies? Animal intelligence and need to protect it's young would have prevented this. Stealing a PC's character's agency away - NOT a good thing. Vincent - bad DM'ing, bad playing and main character syndrome on steroids.

Not had fireballs used in a library before, but have had a player insist on casting it while on the gun-deck of a pirate ship they were trying to take intact. He was trying to take out some goons who were hiding behind a bunch of barrels. My history repeating story is a but less daft. Had two teams, years apart and based in different countries, trying to adopt a hydra hatchling that was just added as a trap/gimmick.

Thanks 4 all the hard work.

Happy Friday, Doge and kitties.

Yay more dnd doge

Another great video, keep up the good work.

I once had a DM and player argue with me that it's literally impossible to melt metal, when I wanted to melt gold in order to make a gilded skull (300GP spell component), and they know it's impossible because; "it's basic science, metal doesn't melt, I just got out of science class, it's an obvious fact"... One of them was a huge fan of game of thrones, and I asked them what happened to the gold Drogo dropped in the cooking pot, to which I got no answer at all and they just moved on, ended up just buying the skull from some gnome.

I'm really, really curious about "blind singer with a Glock". Like, there has to have been some crazy reason behind that, right? The party was living in a Westworld-style simulation or something?

@MaxterandKiwiKing

Жыл бұрын

Honestly, I was confused when he said "She pulled out GLOCK" , because Glock is the name a specific gun manufacturer and their popular line of pistols, I keep forgetting that many dumb people nowadays use term "Glock' to refer to any Pistol/Handgun. I'd like to know what the OP actually meant by glock in that instant, was is a muzzle-loading flintlock/matchlock pistol, was it a revolver or pepper box pistol, or was it some type of autopistol similar to what a Glock-brand pistol actually is?

@chaoticevilspacewitch

Жыл бұрын

@@MaxterandKiwiKing I mean, I definitely interpreted it as she whipped out the specific brand of pistol.

@MaxterandKiwiKing

Жыл бұрын

@@chaoticevilspacewitch I actually went to the r/RPGhorrorstories subreddit and tracked down the person who posted the story to ask them what the DM meant. According to them, the DM explicitly stated that the weapon used was a literal Glock, which is both hilarious and immersion breaking in the extreme.

@chaoticevilspacewitch

Жыл бұрын

@@MaxterandKiwiKing Nice sleuthing. That'd be a great twist from a skilled DM to set you up with something weird going on... a shitty DM, not so much.

Commenting to support you in the algorithm!

Well the title had me excited already

Gun wielding blind grannies? Lol, now that sounds like a great way to punish two murder hobo's acting out of alignment. 😆. Thanks!

First story: How was that only the first session? This sounds like a whole campaign’s worth of cringe. Good on OP for getting out of there; too many people, especially new players like OP, would have stayed in this nightmare of a game until it inevitably blew up. Second story: This is why we always read our spells before we cast them. Also, how does anyone not understand that killing someone with a sharp object is going to result in blood everywhere? Have they never been injured before? People are stupid. Third story: You’d think more than two people in this group would grasp the concept of leaving if you’re uncomfortable. Yes, it’s great that they’re making a new campaign, but why on earth are they still in this one? They clearly don’t want to play with Vincent anymore.

Presti... THIS is why you're one of my favorite readers. Well, this and kitties.

Everybody gangsta till the blind singer whips out a Glock.

I think the 3rd story was like everyone taking turns to DM for a bit of time before passing the torch. But that's just a guess

Alice looks so much bigger! Also that last story, I would've left long ago

I love alice's meow. it has a kind of trill or chirp to it

Oh Alice, such a lovely little tabbybaby. Sounds life for the first story the DM took some happy pills before he started the game. As to the third story with that Vincent guy (no relation) sounds like he took some happy pills too.

I ran a game where the PCs came across a group of enemies, standing on a large wooden elevator platform. The mage uses burning hands. I didn't completely remove the elevator, but they also did not put out the fire, so I had half of it burn away making it very perilous to use after that. Failure, would be a 100 foot drop.

story 2, this is why part of my opening to any campaign to my players is "Always know your abilities completely. Always think your actions through. All of your actions WILL have consequences. If you kill a shopkeeper for no reason, you WILL be arrested by the guards. if you throw fireball around, things WILL be damaged and set on fire. Think very, very carefully about what would actually happen if you take certain actions."

First Story: absolutely godawful DM: unimaginative, introduces a DMPC, anachronistic. No wonder he let the weaboo back in. Third Story: *DM put "didn't get laid" as my role* Doge: why would you care? That's a good question, why does he care?

This is the kind of shit that a 3 year old can figure out: paper burns when it touches fire; blood spatter is extremely noticeable

Yeah, prestidigitation is what I came up with immediately when the DM asked about the blood. OMFG, wtf kind of alcohol uses spider eggs?!

Good video. Funny how you used Saya on the thumbnail since anyone who watched the show knows nearly every murder she committed was justified.

@DnDDoge

Жыл бұрын

Honestly, when I look up stuff for thumbnails, it's usually just going to Google and typing things like, "anime character with sword and blood" lol

@destroyerinazuma96

Жыл бұрын

@@DnDDoge That's completely fine, in fact it only makes the videos funnier.

Oh no he had a heart attack!

The giant spiders from the last story could be acromantulas, you know, the giant talking spiders from HP. Though, those things might end up with a chaotic evil alignment

i ditch all my vids when the best doggo and cats come around for the video.

16:20 There are some spells that allow you to communicate with animals.

Wait now I'm wondering if this is the same Vincent I know

today we learn a book has more hp than a commoner human

That first of the consequences stories was something else. The DM failed to make something clear to the player, that would be clearly evident to the character, especially someone as studied as a wizard. Like at a minimum, they ought to had a chance to roll to realize the risk they were taking. Consequences brought about this way are cheap and immersion breaking. Like holding a player accountable for not being as charismatic as the character they created.

My guess is that Vincent either A) Was subbing in whenever the GM was unable to be present. Or B) There was a rotating GM schedule in place.

Ah, yes, the heartattack that lets the body split open like when youre hit with a greatsword twice, already seen that one, nothing new, I just clean up the blood and things, give me a minute.

Wow, an actual high realism game and not just the dm murdering players with germs

... clever enough to use mending on a corpse, but not clever enough to try to use prestidigitation to clean the mess? That's a little weird

I wanna see how they explain that to the maid too. "What happened here?!" "The baron had a heart attack and passed in his sleep." "And the blood!?" "It was a very bad heart attack."

I hope evryone is having a nice day;

I did eeet already Alice

"Must've had a heart attack" then why all the blood? "Oh no, I'm sorry, I meant to say _'his heart was attacked'_ "

I see 935-JP in thumbnail, I watch. Simple

That first story was a cluster flock, yeesh. As for the second story, you could reduce, not eliminate the mess by running the guy through I suppose.

That first one and last was a bit too much word salad for me, but threatening a PC does not take away agency; you have very clear agency of do this or else. Removing agency is, "your character does x," not, "you will deal with y if your character does nit do x." Seems like pvp issued should be solved out of game in this case, though.

It's all fun and games unil the interdimesnonal blind lady pulls out the blickky

@fetch9772

Жыл бұрын

I had to replay the video a couple times to make sure I wasn't trippin

Alice is the cutest 😸

Prestidigitation specifies it can only clean a single object that fits in a one foot cube

@Qwerty95ish

Жыл бұрын

Can be cast multiple times.

@ajbraxton3416

Жыл бұрын

@@Qwerty95ish doesn't matter how many times you cast it if the stain is on the floor. It doesn't clean "a cube" it cleans "an object" that can fit inside the cube.

@Qwerty95ish

Жыл бұрын

@@ajbraxton3416 like a piece of tile...

@ajbraxton3416

Жыл бұрын

@@Qwerty95ish Sure, provided the tile is small enough. Now if the floor is made of wooden planks, as would be common in a European fantasy setting...

@Qwerty95ish

Жыл бұрын

@@ajbraxton3416 one cubic foot is a pretty decent amount of space For example one cubic foot is a 12 foor 2x6.

I love this doge kitten show

Done was surprised when OP of the Vincent story didn't leave sooner. I'm always surprised when these gamers don't leave when things get bad. But I guess we wouldn't have these DnD horror stories if the people involved players and G M's were to have brains or backbone enough to leave when things get cringy.

I’ve had acid trips make more sense then the dm game.

Prestidigitation can clean the blood and the guts its needed to pick up

I do not like how my name was used as a creepy guy's alias, even though I know it's not me xD

Honestly gonna defend the consequences story. Yeah the players were dumb, but as someone who had this exact same shit happen to me a while back in a campaign my group is currently doing, this is a one way ticket to the players fucking hating you. Even though were past it now, i still hold a tiny grudge for the dm doing this shit in our game. Saying a key object unlisted on a map with a vague location gets destroyed because your aoe just so happened to overlap said vague location without realizing it, not giving any sort of do overs or even warnings comes off as such a blatantly anti-player action, and from personal experience it creates distrust over the gm, slows down the game in future sessions (for a good couple weeks/months afterwards i had to *constantly* go “will my aoe do anything if it hits here? What about here? What about here?” Because i had the notion now that if my spells were to do something my gm would screw us over without any warnings), and honestly may or may not create further issues down the line, as setting this situation up means players will exploit your previous judgements. Wether you allow it or not, you’ve laid down a situation where your players can destroy a building just by pointing at it (moreso talking about my game than the horror story here), and now you gotta deal with the consequences of either doing it and allowing the players to break your game, or going back on your word and creating more tension between player and dm. For the record, my dm is a cool guy, who makes good games. This was just a particular event we dealt with that severely hurt our relationship for a few weeks, and performing these kinds of actions poorly *will* result in issues (tbh all you need to give is just a warning or something, or decide items in obscure locations were just outside the blast radius. Its not that difficult of a fix, its just something infuriating when done wrong)

The Interplanar Roman Empire will conquer all, and come back to Earth eventually! Ave Ceasar Collum Barbatum!

How many cats do you have? Curious question from a viewer.

Hello here

Story #1 - I can only guess that this DM didn't have the slightest clue what to run, and so was randomly pulling ideas out of thin air and/or his own anatomy. I am not one who walks on games, usually, but would happily have done so on this #### very early on. Story #2 - Clever idea, using 'Mend' to "repair" the corpse. But it comes to me that 'Mend' can also be used to 'clean up' an area, so why not use it on the murder scene as well? Yeah, consequences. And basic common sense. Story #3 - Really should have taken a VERY close look at Vincent's Character sheet, because that entire Persuasion thing sounded extremely suss to me. Yet another of those cases where you have to wonder why the rest of the Players put up with this @##$% for as long as they did.

Woohoo

Anime stuff is by no mean a red flag in the first story but eeh mostly them sadly

offtopic comment; alice needs all the loves Doge. :) (give all yer mewmews luvs for us)

Saw this video in a critcrab discord server. They do not like you there, Doge. XD

@DnDDoge

4 ай бұрын

Huh, that's wierd. It's not like there's any bad blood between us narrators as far as I know.

@RioDrake

4 ай бұрын

@@DnDDoge Nah, just some fanboys being mean lol

Players not completely understanding that TTRPGs don't necessarily work like a video game isn't really idiocy. After all, in their mind they're sitting down to play a game, so what's the difference? Seriously, if it becomes obvious that this is the case, don't treat them like morons. Simply explain to them that in Table Top games, results of actions may not be limited to what a group of software developers were able to code. Maybe let things slide that time, and next time something like that comes up explain what could happen before you go and resolve it, if possible.

As i listened to your last story and that is unfair that a unworthy person to wield mutch power and also just creepy and unlikeable

Sounds like Vincent was trying to be the Alpha Male.

love your content, but i need to be that guy today. "preface", you keep using that word, i dont think you know how to say it.