"If we want the rewards of being loved, we must submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known"

@prestong.6391

4 жыл бұрын

- mewtwo

Fun fact: This clip was uploaded like a day or two before I asked out a coworker whom I *wasn't* transferring away from, and I listened to this clip the night before and morning of the deed just to psych myself up. She said nah, but we're still chill, we talk regularly even after the job ended, and I did get that off my chest. Risked it; got like 13% of the biscuit.

@someoneunknown7655

3 жыл бұрын

Got a different biscuit, but it’s still good

Ah, yes. Justin "Memorizes riddles so he never has to hold actual conversations with barbers" McElroy and Griffin "I don't like flying because I'm afraid to tell the passengers between me and the aisle I have to go peepee" McElroy, masters of direct interpersonal communication.

@sighcantthinkofaname

4 жыл бұрын

Well to be fair, as far as romance goes all three of them have amazing wives.

@Stolanis

4 жыл бұрын

@@sighcantthinkofaname Exactly what I thought. The fact that they have weird social quirks but are still able to step up and talk to (and MARRY) a woman when it REALLY matters shows, if anything, that they are far *braver* than people who have no social anxieties.

@asmrtpop2676

3 жыл бұрын

Kaz as long as she’s not a barber or a plane passenger

@mikaelaway357

3 жыл бұрын

Well he is married and has children so apparently he knows how to hook a lady

@ALUMOX

2 жыл бұрын

travis "live among us breakdown" mcelroy

I love it when the Mcelroys are indignant on someone elses behalf

I did the dramatic declaration thing once. A friend I've known forever took me on this almost romantic sort-of date and there was this will-they-wont-they tension there and at the end we had this weird awkward hug and I left. I decided I was living in a rom-com universe, swung around, asked if we could rewrite that ending and we kissed dramatically in the rain. HUGE mistake. The guy kissed like his mouth was full of tentacles and every time I pulled away to breathe, he apologized. 😣All feelings washed down the drain. We remain platonic friends to this day.

@Druzica18

4 жыл бұрын

I think I may also have kissed this guy. I don't know how I still have a face.

@alittlerobot1469

4 жыл бұрын

I once kissed a dude who HAD to puff his lips out like a fish every time we kissed, then he'd try and stick his tongue down my throat at weird moments. He also wrote me a two page poem about how he couldnt wait to have sex with me after being together for two weeks. Glad I escaped.

@Stolanis

4 жыл бұрын

In defense of guys who don't know how to kiss properly (because I am very much one of them): how are we supposed to learn if no-one puts up with it long enough to teach us how to kiss better? Not all of us are Tom Cruise with a bunch of sisters who use us for kissing practice. The only practical experience we're ever gonna get is with a potential romantic partner - and if that partner turns you down because you don't know how to do this one thing (that ultimately says nothing about your qualities as a potential life partner) then all that tells you is 'you are a bad kisser so don't ever try again'. Because of the experiences I've had BEING a bad kisser (which made me feel really bad, BTW, because I knew I was messing up and making the girl have a bad time and I didn't like that any more than she did), I'm of the opinion that kissing is kinda weird and gross and I don't really understand why it is that people think it's hot. To me, kissing is an entirely artificial relationship test (as there are quite a few human cultures that don't do it) that I'm doomed to fail because no-one ever taught me how to do it well. I mean, if the guy is ALSO an ass then, sure, drop him, but if he's genuinely good and you've dropped him just because he doesn't know how to kiss... please think about what I've written. I'd like to think that humans at their best can see past such superficial things, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. How much is love worth?

@TheEnigmaticKasai

3 жыл бұрын

@@Stolanis As someone who got into the kissing game relatively late: When you're first learning how to kiss, LET YOUR PARTNER LEAD. Start out with those chaste little closed-lip kisses and let your (more experienced) partner lead them into something more. That is my #1 piece of advice. If you feel like you need to, there's also nothing wrong with admitting that you don't have a lot of experience in the kissing front, and straight up ASKING them to help take the initiative on that (tho hopefully you won't need to). Finally, if you really just think kissing is gross (which, valid, it IS kinda weird when you think about it), that's totally fine but is something you gotta communicate with your partner early on or they'll just think you're not into them. And not in a "kissing is gross and here's why I'm better for thinking that" way ('cause that shit will NEVER go well) but in a "this makes me hella uncomfortable and can we have an alternative" way. Maybe light kissing on the cheek or hands, forehead bumps, or something similar. Anyway, hope this helps.

@asmrtpop2676

3 жыл бұрын

i’ve had multiple declarations of love given to me at what seems random to me but just have seemed the right time to others......and each time it was so goddamn awkward and i had a panic attack

"Good news IM STILL ANGRY!"

I don't want people to think that the risks you should take are physical or monetary or anything. Don't put yourself or others in danger. The risk is an EMOTIONAL one. The risk is opening up and engaging with people in a direct, respectful and sincere way.

This sounds like that one guy who wrote 200 journals about some girl who worked next to him and how he’d planned out their wholes lives despite speaking like twice

@japanesemyth

4 жыл бұрын

Excuse me what???

@GYAXA

4 жыл бұрын

japanesemyth look up “our love forever vol. 1 of 221”

@alizardinyourroom1361

3 жыл бұрын

Omg I've seen those, shit of nightmares

“Listen colleeeeagues, no risk required.” - has me imagining Griffin twisting the end of his mustache that he now has for this scenario

God, I've been waiting so long for this to get clipped. Idk what it is but something aboutthe way Griffin says "is a biscuit" just fills me with joy every time

this is like, actual advice I'm surprised

“well david bowie is a beautiful man” that he is, griffin. that he is

@thanaGogical

3 жыл бұрын

was

@asmrtpop2676

3 жыл бұрын

Queen Emeticia ok carol calm down and do your homework

@thanaGogical

3 жыл бұрын

@@asmrtpop2676 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚎; 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑 𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚍𝚒𝚎𝚍, "𝚠𝚊𝚜" 𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚝

I can't believe Griffin said "all non-riskers don't get biscuits" And not "All non-riskers, don't get biskers"

Ha Travis’ instructions at 12:16 sound eerily similar to Julia Roberts’ monologue in Nottingham Hill “I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”

@AnnabellaRedwood

3 жыл бұрын

I thought the same thing!

one time i sent a girl a meme of sans flossing that said "want to be my minecraft gf bottom text" and she said yes and i had to explain it was a meme and i wasnt actually asking her out. we dont talk anymore.

@notusingmyrealnamegoogle6232

4 жыл бұрын

oh man I know some of these words

@coffin7904

4 жыл бұрын

How did you think this would end

@Despedite

3 жыл бұрын

@@coffin7904 with a "LMAO".......

At the end of 8th grade a boy gave me a note asking to date and I said I would answer at the end of the day and then I didn't and I changed schools

idk...like i half agree, but i feel like Note Man (TM) just wanted to tell this person and bolt. Maybe if hed followed up and been weird id criticize more but i think he was just tryna get it off his chest

Need a romcom with realistic, even if boring, expectations. My one (1) experience asking someone out started with me saying “I need to talk to you” and then freezing for a FULL minute - which might not sound very long in your head, but count out 60 seconds and imagine that being conversational silence. Then I said “don’t answer what you think I want to hear, please just say in a word what you want between us” and the longest three minutes of my fucking life passed (a real 180 seconds of quiet!!) while we both fidgeted around words until she said “m...more” and that was the end of the verbal interaction

“Hey listen Motherslappers i just went in the bathroom it REEKS of kisses in there” -Griffin McElroy

y'all are so negative in the comments here, damn

Lmao Soggy Biscut

holey shit ... this was actualy good advice

It is possible the guy wasn’t trying to pursue anything, but just wanted to brighten her day with a compliment and worded it poorly. I know I’ve personally had instances where an innocent compliment (from my POV) was mistaken as a cringey attempt at romance. But also maybe not

@Pomlithe

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, I really wish the brothers expanded on what Justin said when the guy might’ve just wanted to like, “get it out into the world” and knew it wouldn’t go anywhere.

@jonhalo

4 жыл бұрын

@@Pomlithe thats still completely selfish and irresponsible as it ignores any impact it may have on the note receiver and serves only the impulse of the note giver

@Pomlithe

4 жыл бұрын

Putting it into a dichotomy of either “completely selfish” or not doesn’t really serve the question. You’d probably be right to say it’s selfish, but something something paved with good intentions. Again, the guy went about it in a bad way, but it might be important to recognize that he most definitely was not trying to make her feel any worse. In fact, I’d argue that sending the note didn’t make him feel any better. He’ll regret it later on, as an “oh, that was stupid, why’d I do that” sort of deal, or it’ll come around to bite him in the ass. Getting it out there can be good, but it’s absolutely spawned from a selfish-or at least individualist-standpoint. It is as much the guy’s fault as it is the systems by which he was brought to think “yes, that was a good idea.” Then again, I don’t want to tell people to be impulsive and subject to their own feelings... but by the same token, I don’t think it’s fair to say the guy was 100% wrong in sending the note. Maybe something more, like. 70%.

@WhiteKnuckleRide512

11 ай бұрын

Thank you. This question is one of the biggest whiffs I’ve ever seen from the brothers and it’s really disappointing. By all accounts this guy read and responded the situation perfectly. He realized that she wasn’t interested in him, but still wanted to tell her his feelings without putting her in the awkward situation of having to respond to them. She reads the note, appreciates it, and both parties go on with their lives feeling just a bit happier.

This happened to me. In high school, a girl who was sort of my friend (we were friendly, but didnt really hang out), wrote in my year book that she had had a crush on me for years, but she was going away for college, and we prob wouldn'tsee eachother again. Guess what? It made me really happy. Would it have been nice if she had just asked me out at some point in high school? Sure. But do i think what she did was creepy and cowardly? NO! I honestly dont get what the brothers' problem is on this one. Maybe its projection.

@wongledongle340

3 жыл бұрын

I think it just depends on the person a teenager in school I wouldn't think is weird, but a fully grown adult in a work environment leaving love notes then bouncing is kinda strange, and can stress a person out. It doesn't seem selfish or creepy to me but maybe a bit imature

@WhiteKnuckleRide512

11 ай бұрын

Yeah, the brothers really whiffed on this one, this guy read the situation perfectly. Interpreting this poor guy’s humility and tastefulness as cowardice and entitlement is just really gross to me. He never wanted “the biscuit”, he just wanted a girl he liked to know that for some people she made the world a brighter place.

I love the brothers. I really do. But this? Really makes me feel like shit because of my social anxiety. (With my [now ex-]boyfriend, I was going to explain my feelings for him in a letter, but he came forward about his feelings before I could give it to him. I wasn't being the bravest, but at least I was going to try. I was still going to have to see him every day if he didn't like me back though) my anxiety makes it really hard to talk to people, and I get stressed if I'm stuck in an uncomfortable situation, so I end up assuming it's similar for others.

@mikamik9839

3 жыл бұрын

I think a big part of the problem they had was that it wasn't just the note leaving but also the fact that she changed workplace. Note Guy gave all the responsibility to the Question Sender to contact him just to reject him, without even being easy to contact anymore most likely. If Question Sender was someone Note Guy was going to see again, even multiple times, it takes some of the weight off the Question Sender, who is most likely stressed out by this whole thing. (Which I have been in this situation) Basically nothing wrong with having anxiety, confessing your feelings/showing attraction to someone can be scary, but try to do it in a way that doesn't stress out the person you're interested in, which Note Guy did.

@Saveme99isawesome

Жыл бұрын

I think they only said what they did because they all are somewhat socially anxious themselves. I have really bad social anxiety, but I'd never leave a note for someone claiming that I liked them knowing that it'd be impossible to start a relationship. You just have to realize you've missed your chance at that point.

What this says to me is, don’t leave a note to let people think about things and respond but instead trap them in a physical situation so they’re trapped and forced to respond.

@wongledongle340

3 жыл бұрын

I mean I note is still kinda trapping them... The only option is to talk to them or ignore them. At least with talking to people you don't have to seek them out

@mikamik9839

3 жыл бұрын

I mean at that point you kinda have to? A person asking you out on a date deserves a response, even if it's a "No, thank." or a "I have to think about it." This just forces a person to try and find this person you were never supposed to even see again. The Brothers also acknowledged that sending a note ain't that bad if you're going to be seeing this person.

@WhiteKnuckleRide512

11 ай бұрын

@@mikamik9839 Except he’s NOT ASKING HER OUT. He is literally just telling her that she makes the world a brighter place for some people, and that he wants her to know that.

well the brothers were definitely right when they said not to follow their advice

@billydeano

3 жыл бұрын

You're right. You SHOULD leave a half-assed note to a co-worker right as you transfer offices.

If you even have an ounce of common sense you know, or you at least think it over once, and realize that leaving notes is CREEPY. Like what are we conspirators? Is being interested in a person suddenly taboo? No, just work on your confidence in talking.

This question is one of the biggest whiffs I’ve ever seen from the brothers and it’s really disappointing. By all accounts this guy read and responded the situation perfectly. He realized that she wasn’t interested in him, but still wanted to tell her his feelings without putting her in the awkward situation of having to respond to them, ESPECIALLY in person. She reads the note, appreciates it, and both parties go on with their lives feeling just a bit happier. Interpreting this poor guy’s humility and tastefulness as cowardice and entitlement is just really gross to me. This guy never wanted “the biscuit”, he just wanted a girl he liked to know that for some people she made the world a brighter place.

Some of these comments are legit like. Incels "it's only creepy if you're ugly." No dude. Also here is the thing about social anxiety, get over it. Go to therapy, learn some coping skills, whatever it takes because you can not function in Society if the thought of talking to another human being paralyzes you with fear. Get over yourself and stop wallowing in self pity.

@ripnecco5477

4 жыл бұрын

The_Ideaist disclaimer uh, in the context of flirting only though, don’t feel like you’re a piece of shit if you just don’t talk a lot, christ lol

@Saveme99isawesome

Жыл бұрын

You're right about all the incels, but telling people with social anxiety to just "get over it" and "get over yourself" is so stupid.

The McElroys Demonstrate A Complete Lack of Understanding of Social Anxiety

@Pomlithe

4 жыл бұрын

Imagine getting mad at someone and thinking they want to date just from “hey, here’s a compliment, wish we coulda talked more before I left” Sorry, brothers, but you got this one *wicked* wrong

@alexanderking5676

4 жыл бұрын

@@Pomlithe getting a creepy note from a guy you didn't know about how beautiful you are is creepy. That shit would creep anyone out, especially women who are subject to weird shit from strangers constantly. It is normal to assume the worst from people in these kinds of situations. Even if the note was like "I wish we got a chance talk more before I left, see ya" That's just a goodbye note and its fine. This dude including the "you're beautiful" implies he wanted to bang this person and was leering at her the WHOLE time he was there. He only valued this person for how pretty they were, and letting the person know this in a weird note is bad. Also stop doing the "it's a compliment" and "it's social anxiety" unsolicited comments on ones attractiveness is weird especially from strangers. And having social anxiety does not excuse creeping on people. Enough with this bullshit, this isn't the furries take the Mcelroys are in the right and it is incredibly disconcerting to see mbmbam fans of all people fail to understand this. This is how we get dudes sniffing ladies hair and telling them they smell nice on subways!

@rosegold2790

4 жыл бұрын

Meanwhile, Justin has LITERALLY talked about his ANXIETY so yeet off dude

@harrysonofbob

4 жыл бұрын

@@alexanderking5676 I mean, the woman who asked the question would clearly disagree with you. She seemed to genuinely take it as a compliment. And didn't seem to think it was creepy.

@kronos1794

4 жыл бұрын

The line between creepy gesture and romantic gesture is obscured by the miasma of attractiveness. Unattractive people (usually men) are doomed to doing things that are often deligated to creepy (sometimes they are) while attractive people are praised for being "bold" and "confident." As someone who can barely be out in public due to my anxiety I sympathize with the struggle.

David Bowie is not beautiful. He had a head like a half sucked mango. And that's fine. An incredibly talented man and my favourite solo artist, yes. And yes, given the chance, were he not dead, I would %104 hit that. Still, my point stands.

@jonathanferraro1159

4 жыл бұрын

GlitchKing boo this man

@rosegold2790

4 жыл бұрын

David Bowie was incredibly attractive? He’s super aesthetically pleasing?

@moingram4950

4 жыл бұрын

GlichKing Nah.

@MinaF99

4 жыл бұрын

GlitchKing you are wrong

I can say from personal experience, with the exception of woman who are fucked up and or crazy, most are too polite to properly reject you on the spot. Like I've honed my asking ladies out chops and if they are sane, under 30, and don't have kids, they do not have the ability to say they are not interested properly. So, many times, the situation is made more awkward by the lack of clarity and we both become more embarrassed as a result. If you don't want to date a guy and he asks you out say "No, thank you." Refusal but implying you appreciate being asked, don't give shit like, "I don't date coworkers." Or "I have a boyfriend" those aspects of life change, a NO is not transmutable and can only change if you say you changed your mind. The note is prefect because it is an offer, where rejection is implied by inaction, people are lazy, so if they don't act, which most don't want to, they have still given a response, he might hope for a while that she will respond but any response is pointless as he will only be disappointed.

@jacobstanchfield8452

4 жыл бұрын

Dylan Beauchamp r/nice guys?

@striker6677

4 жыл бұрын

@@jacobstanchfield8452 No I'm an asshole, and I know it.

@kropotkinnie

4 жыл бұрын

I mean, the scary thing for a lot of women is that they can give a no and they don't get an "oh alright." They get a, "Why not?" and unless they use an excuse (even then it rarely works) the guy keeps pushing until he gets a yes. So a straightforward "no" rarely ever works. Inaction should be assumed to be a hard no. Anything but a "Yes, absolutely," means no. That's just how it is. It's not on a woman to be clear about this when her safety and wellbeing is on the line. It's on the man to respect the idea that anything other than a clear "yes" is 100% enough for him to give up.

@striker6677

4 жыл бұрын

@@kropotkinnie Exactly, it took me like 2 years to realize that fearful subtext was a thing, I'd never had the courage to ask anyone out until I was like 25, and then I wouldn't understand the responses because I'm massively unsocialized. The inaction thing is a good saving grace, say like, "Hey call me if you want to go out." Then they can just not call if they don't want to. I just hate subtext, since I needed a crash course in human social interaction.

@striker6677

4 жыл бұрын

@@jacobstanchfield8452 I just realized how poorly I worded my ideas, you have made a valid burn friend. But I genuinly didn't mean it that way.