Thank you for providing us with quality lectures on psychoanalytic theory (hard to find on the internet). Quick idea/question: Could you please do a lecture about the Kohut vs Kernberg controversy if you haven't already talked about it in one of your videos?

@doncarveth

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks. I have already addressed the Kohut/KernBerg debate in passing in other lectures.

My wife and I enjoyed this, Don. Thank you! I hope you're well and having a nice holiday season!

@doncarveth

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you and all the best to you and yours

Good taste

Thank you for this short talk, your reference to the song which I’ve listened to on repeat for the past 2 days, and your lectures in general. I have learnt so much and look forward to learning more 🙏🏼 PS if you have an interest, I’d love to hear your psychoanalytic take on climate change and related topics

@doncarveth

2 жыл бұрын

www.yorku.ca/dcarveth/4Kolbert.pdf

Interesting song! Notice how at the end only does the you lead into an us: As frightened as you / To help us survive

I really wish you had more to say to this. Would you please point me in the direction of more of this? Especially, the inevitability of our guilt in love.

Would you say this “someone” Sondheim sings about would be somewhat analogous to Symington’s concept of the lifegiver? It seems to me to involve a choice to turn towards the other and accepting her separateness, developing a capacity for concern for the other, as well as trusting her capacity to reflect reality (about me, the other and the world) back to me. In essence, to choose to invite the other in and allowing her to love and hurt me in the name of growth of mind so I can love and hurt her.

@doncarveth

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, well said

Dearest Dr. Carveth, Mature love is love which is defined by one thing only: NEVER hurting the object of your love. Mature, adult, thrilling love, AFTER two people have been through whatever crucible(s), simply means UNCONDITIONAL love. I respect psychoanalysis (been in it for 5 years); I understand the ambiguities and I have listened to your lectures with great interest, and I read your latest book. I do not say this lightly: please try to take the time to post a longer video properly expounding upon this specific topic. This particular short post is not quite worthy of you, nor of your erudition. Kindest regards from Montreal. Much love and many, many thanks for your body of work, a small part of which we (lucky viewers) get to be privy to here on this platform.

What comes to mind is this Dean Martin song: kzread.info/dash/bejne/fn6rvMWfgqi3mbg.html 🎼

@doncarveth

2 жыл бұрын

No, this tells me what I can get out of being loved, a narcissistic matter. It doesn’t speak of the agony of being loved or of loving.

@JoshBarzell

2 жыл бұрын

@@doncarveth Christopher Bollas writes about the narcissist in his recent book, “Three Characters.” And, in it, he describes how hard it is for the narcissist to accept love. What a feeling to be loved: kzread.info/dash/bejne/pYyd1tluj5q9qtY.html

All my faves are dying. who's next, Larry David?

@doncarveth

2 жыл бұрын

No, no, we cannot do without him!

A brilliant video, Don ! Worth watching again , I quite like this though. kzread.info/dash/bejne/anV8pciThLWtmaw.html Why because it ushers in the transcendental, tremendous anguish and grief through the loss or the bearevmnet of a spouse or a broken relationship in which one invested one's soul . From immaturity to maturity ? To be fair for me, it oscillates it takes time to trust , and broken trust can spoil it completely , so we can never feel like abandoning ourselves again , for most people they dip into or stay in the paranoid schizoid place of suspicion , of reluctant defensiveness of idealism that gradually turns sour into hostile aggressive fault finding etc and then wonder why it all goes f... tits up ! As you say being fallen is a good term but if the other then adopts a justified aggression stance the relationship has nowhere to go , their minds poisoned presumably by Oedipal or pre Oedipal transference projected out onto the other , no amount of taking responsibility will work then, it tends to become a game of dominance and further blame , so it always takes two to tango both parties MUST own thier cr...a...p so to speak .

kzread.info/dash/bejne/k6Fs09SriqTagJc.html