I love that in her example "calling on" her uncle to be a better person, she emphasized that she still stood up to the racism. Leading by example while still giving him room to rise to the occasion.

@HollowSpecter

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah. It feels like magic. Now I've signed up for her workshop to maybe get a glimpse of how to practice this :D

@othaday54

2 жыл бұрын

GREAT TED talk! And wonderful idea. I agree that she stood up and what she stood up to was bigotry and prejudice and NOT to racism. An important, altho' seemingly minor distinction.

A TED talk so good, I watched it more than once. THIS is the kind of idea we need for humanity to progress.

@billiehummel

Жыл бұрын

Yes but I am skeptical of it working because of the new generation that has all sorts of issues with anything or anyone in authority. They do not like to take instructions or constructive criticism. They also cannot control their own emotions. No self control and lack of respect for authority is the cause of many deaths and injuries. I HOPE it will spread- its just hard to have faith in it.

Giving someone the opportunity to choose their better self is the grace we all want, too.

@credenza1

3 жыл бұрын

There is nothing gracious about setting oneself up as a dispenser of forgiveness and opportunity. What you describe is simply an exercise in ungoverned arrogance.

@MichelleIbarraMHAEdD

3 жыл бұрын

@@credenza1 I disagree. Ungoverned arrogance would be calling them out in a condescending and judgemental manner with criticism and unkindness.

@PaulaZF

3 жыл бұрын

@@credenza1 tell me more, please.

@lucaaz14

2 жыл бұрын

@@PaulaZF hahaha perfect

@postpunkhah

2 жыл бұрын

@@PaulaZF I see what you did there! :)

Love this so much ❤️❤️. One of the most powerful TED talks I’ve ever seen

@LaQuesaDeMI

3 жыл бұрын

You will love her New York Times editorial on calling in!

It was a pleasure assisting you at the hotel. I'm the bellman that had a conversation with you about smoking and the tragedy that you sadly experienced in life...you were very pleasant and I love your tedtalk! You are truly a woman of spirit! God bless you!!

What Loretta J. Ross says here is truly inspirational and it got me thinking that maybe I should try using calling in instead of calling out in my own life. “Freedom from revenge. Freedom from anger. Freedom from hatred” - these words are what we need nowadays. Thank you for saying such a powerful words and sharing with everybody such an important message ❤️

@richardhanderson2451

3 жыл бұрын

Hello Anna how are you doing hope you’re doing okay ✅

This woman is super wise…wow! What a positive and insightful person!

For over 20 years I've attempted to walk this message, even if stumbling at times. In environments where conversations were shutdown and people called out, I found it difficult to articulate the better way I knew was possible. I am so grateful for Ms. Ross and the wisdom she brings.

I want to be like her when I grow up. Great talk that we all should practice everyday and any day, we need more love and less judgement.

Loretta J. Ross, thank you! You have no idea how much your words meant to me - today, and all days.

THIS is how humanity wakes up! This is how we stop the fighting, the siding, the hatred. This is how we find love for ourselves and each other. Take note my fellow human, this is how we make Peace on this Earth. If you’re reading this, I’m wishing you and your loved ones all so much love and happiness.

Folks are so concerned with social approval they don't dare show compassion to those who believe differently than they do for fear of being labeled "one of them".

“A call out isn’t an invitation for growth, it’s the expectation that you’ve already grown”

@LaQuesaDeMI

3 жыл бұрын

Terrific line! My colleague did that exact call-out a few days ago and expressed how disappointed she was that no one had already grown.

I would love to have a friend like Loretta! Her words are beautiful and necessary for my life, as I continue to learn how to be a better human. I watched this with my daughter, and now shared with friends and family.

This is the kind of activism the world needs ❤️❤️

Thank you Ms. Ross! Powerful methods for shifting attitudes, one at a time. This is what the world needs to learn!

I had to watch this multiple times. So honored to be able to watch this and receive this message. 🙏❤️ Sending love to you and yours!

This is so beautifully done! This applies to so much when hate can be so prevalent. Thank you!!! 💕

We need more of this kind of voices. A call for love and understanding. God bless her.

I love this TED talk so much. Her delivery is so gentle and informative, and the strategy is an important way of being a social justice activist. ❤

A really great talk - what a message and how wonderful to hear something like that in such crazy times.

Bless this woman. I love the call in culture. 🙏

@richardhanderson2451

3 жыл бұрын

Hello Christella how are you doing hope you’re doing okay ✅

@Chrissyrozenot

3 жыл бұрын

@@richardhanderson2451 I am doing amazing, thank you:) . I hope you are well too. Have a nice weekend wherever you are in the world.

I so enjoy listening to Ms. Ross. Just heard her on NPR and had to look her up. She is wonderful.

@coleenkurth3798

2 ай бұрын

I just did the same! She's great.

I watch this video whenever I feel down. It's so comforting.

Loved it so much had to watch it twice! Giving the opportunity to choose who he wants to be while you feel great through your own grace

Thank you for this wisdom, Ms. Ross. Thank you even more for offering examples of what to do and how to do it. So many TED talks say "this is wrong" or "we should stop this" without giving ways to change or examples of what to do instead. Your talk was one of the most helpful I have heard thanks to your approach to teaching.

I have a huge fear of being called out and calling out people, even if I made an mistake, and people have said I’m extremely remorseful. This helps me a lot! Thank you!!

This talk by Ms Ross is exactly the strategy that can and hopefully will reverse the polarization the country is dealing with today. Thank You Ms Ross.

What a wonderful way to be. To change hate to love. Thank you 🙏🏻

Am great ful for this moment that I was able to listen to her till end. Best TED talk ❤️

I love the message ❤. Calling in embodies the philosophy of using emotional intelligence to challenge someone’s thinking while not dismissing their thoughts. This is where growth happens

I get it, but also I don't owe haters niceties. Tried it for years, doesn't work with everyone. It's more about what words you use and how you word it rather than "we need to give them love". That might work for this organized group, as an individual I need to keep my vulnerabilities away from those who'd kill me for who I am.

@Kris-ce4yt

2 жыл бұрын

I feel this. I’ve read other essays from Loretta Ross where she acknowledges this. Of course there’s situations/people who are truly dangerous to us and not capable of being on the receiving end of this type of investment. No one should have to face their attackers/oppressors if they feel unsafe or have unresolved trauma that makes it impossible to do so. But you have to admit in our culture right now- we have gotten way over the top, vicious & vindictive.

*I’m going to call out abusive people. It’s impossible to call them in (I’ve tried that). That’s how it always works, actually; I start off by calling them in and then they always eventually resort to their abusive tactics and that’s when I call them out. It’s not the other way around.*

@alika207

6 ай бұрын

Use whichever approach you feel will work for your particular situation.

Loretta J Ross Thank you for sharing this valuable wisdom with us! It really resonates with me, something I've been thinking about. We need to learn how to do this! God bless you!

Preach Dr. Ross! What a united message. Thank you.

I shared this on social media, so many of my friends are at the wits end with friends, relatives. We do need leadership to regain mutual understanding, and reconciliation. The politics is profiting from division = very, very selfish and immature, terribly destructive.

Love, forgiveness, wisdom all in one beautiful soul. Inspiring.

Love Ted talks but this one opens something new in my brain and my heart. Thank you Loretta.

Yes! I took Prof. Ross' online course this past winter. So good.

Everyone, I highly recommend her New York Times editorials on calling in. They are so inspiring and remind folks not to fight amongst those who actually have similar beliefs but aren’t ‘purists’

What a powerful and inspiring message!! Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful wisdom, Ms. Ross. God bless you!! ❤️

Great video! Exercising healthier communication skills goes a long ways.

This is so impressive! I’m glad I finally found the answer to the call out culture after wondering for so long. This video deserves more views.

Incredible. Love this. Reminds me of Deeyah Khan's work. So necessary for these ideas to spread.

I absolutely adore this message💞

I've noticed that TED has had to turn the comments off on many of their videos recently. I hope they see that this is the kind of video that didn't need that, and that they invite more speakers like this.

I love this, thank you for sharing your strength

Thank you Loretta, you are so inspiring....

Brilliant Talk. I sincerely hope millions of people view it. So needed. Powerful.

Loretta J Ross is so wise and inspiring and this is an incredibly important topic.

Amazing talk. More of this in our universities and our homes, please.

@postpunkhah

2 жыл бұрын

And also, ONLINE.

I LOVE this message! It's what I've been trying to do but I didn't know what to call it. I'm looking for a way to connect with Professor Ross. Thank you!

Love this content ❤️❤️❤️ Stay safe everyone

I love this talk! She’s brilliant.

Share that humanity sister. I try to offer it everywhere I go.

Exactly what the world needs to hear. Thank you Sister!

Thank you TED and Prof. Loretta J Ross!

This is a great message, but it's missing something really important - Humility. It's missing the possibility that I might have something to learn, or that I might even be wrong about some things.

@alika207

6 ай бұрын

To me, she kind of hinted at that when she said that by having conversations, you will grow too.

Beautiful. Thank you 🙏🏻

Thank you so much for this! This is what the world needs!

God bless you, Sister Ross!

God bless her,a woman of wisdom and love

Scholar Loretta J. Ross is an inspiration 💜💜💜

Just finished a two month online class through her website: Same material she provides during her college class at Smith in terms of lectures - workshops and lists of resources. 5 dollars. Do it!

So spot on and so credible given Loretta's experience.

Yes!

Beautiful. 🙏🏼💖

Beautiful talk!

This video should be mandatory in all schools

I call people out when they're being mean, hostile and/or cruel. No elected official should keep his/her job based on their ability to bring out the absolute worst in their 'base.'. It's only in the last decade that crassness, ignorance, dishonesty and outright cruelty have become NORMALIZED. The Uncle Frank story is excellent. She DIDN'T attack him but I think she DID, very skillfully, call him out.

This is inspiring for sure... 🌻

Love it , great woman great speaker

Impressive!! Thank You 👍🏿

This is excellent and sadly underwatched. This should reach more of my fellow left-leaning friends could consider this approach. I myself often tend to act more rude on the internet and resort to calling out, rather than to engage in a more compassionate way (or not engage at all).

Beautiful!

Probably the best thing to do is to use them approprietly in the situation. Sometimes calling people out is the best way to get people to do what you want them to. The only thing you need to realize is that while you use anger when calling someone out, this anger should just be a means and not something that governs your future responses.

This is a talk I can get behind

I'm surprised this hasn't been viewed more.

I love this woman! I’ve found watching Soft White Underbelly very beneficial in seeing the humanity in those I would have been repelled by at first.

I love this so much🌈💖👑

Wow ☺️☺️

💜

@richardhanderson2451

3 жыл бұрын

Hello Charlotte how are you doing hope you’re doing okay ✅

"Fighting hate should be fun."

@postpunkhah

2 жыл бұрын

💜

I deserve to be treated with dignity, not racist, and racism.

just beautiful

God will fulfill his promises in your life. You also have to believe in yourself and your own abilities. Trust your decisions and elevate your expectations. Bless!

@Max-jl2ie

3 жыл бұрын

🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

@ChristieTE

3 жыл бұрын

I’m so confused … I feel guilty living well when I know there’s other living extreme property. I don’t understand why some people get to be so lucky like Kylie and others have to fight just for peace.

@Gruso57

3 жыл бұрын

Take out the first sentence and you are correct

Love the sinner , hate the sin . St Augustine

♥♥♥

👏👏👏👏👏

I think Julian Edelman is a great example of what this looks like.

@postpunkhah

2 жыл бұрын

Really? How so?

One is stuck playing the impassioned protagonist in one’s Subjective Narrative of Self 🎈

@notthecoolwhip

3 жыл бұрын

Eh?

@notthecoolwhip

3 жыл бұрын

@@gamerfortynine define it a little more for me please, who’s supposedly the narcissist here??

@ikesters6697

2 жыл бұрын

@@notthecoolwhip in other words, he means most people behave narcissistically. Not that they are narcissists in and of themselves

🥰

@richardhanderson2451

3 жыл бұрын

Hello Ashley how are you doing hope you’re doing okay ✅

This must be shared. @Dababy

I came to youtube looking for the psychology of a problem im having. I always try to understand myself when inrecognize my behavior is affecting me in a negative way. I struggle with trying ro "right all the wrongs" of the world, but instead of approaching people with compassion, patience, grace, and calmness I let the fury of my righteous indignation turn me into a fire breathing dragon trying to purify the wicked with shame. Which, of course only breeds the same in reaponse. I'm left feeling defeated, exhausted. And when my partner tells me that there is no point I feel a reactivity build up in the fomr of "If I dont who will? Even if one person sees it and changes, then I did my part and I've won." But if I truly believed that, I wouldn't walk away feeling so dejected. And then I'm left questioning myself, "Do I just need to win? Do I just want to be right? Am I just addicted to beating people down?" I don't understand why this feels so much like a compulsive behavior. I don't truly believe the reasoning is self serving. I genuinely believe I'm doing something good by correcting a falsehood or calling out behavior that is problematic. Still. Why do I feel awful after? I think I'm realizing that when I fight an individual, in my mind, I'm fighting the world. Rather, I'm fighting the culture of exclusion. I'm fighting whole ideologies and systems and governments and religions and so on and so forth..but I'm not. I'm fighting one person. I think I need to remember that one person does not a system make and one person cannot fight a system alone. I am not using my energy wisely at all. I want to change. I think this video helped me understand how a bit better.

being kind is god’s word, you’re doing gods work just by being kind instead of hateful.

I'm game

🙏🏻💖🌹

@richardhanderson2451

3 жыл бұрын

Hello Ligia how are you doing hope you’re doing okay ✅

@ligiasommers

3 жыл бұрын

@@richardhanderson2451 I am doing great, thank you , and wish you the same 🙏🏻🌹

@ligiasommers

3 жыл бұрын

@@richardhanderson2451 i was you wrote me but it is not appearing here . Since I live a bit isolated in Colorado / USA most of the time the internet in not great . 🙏🏻🌹

@richardhanderson2451

3 жыл бұрын

@@ligiasommers I don’t know why it’s not appearing sorry about that kindly send me your email address so we can contact each other more often and so as to get each other massages without mistakes thanks 🙏 🌹

@ligiasommers

3 жыл бұрын

@@richardhanderson2451 this time it appeared . I am wrist new book and launching the previous one here in the US , so I am totally out of time and only come to the social media for work . If you are interested you can look me up in Facebook and we can talk through messages there. Thank you so much 🙏🏻🌹

This speech is a lovely sentiment, and I would love to agree with her, but I don't see how calling in a truly hateful person can be helpful. Answering "Death to the Jews", for example, with "That's an interesting viewpoint. Tell me more." just doesn't seem like it's going to do any good.

🔥😻🙏🏽

@richardhanderson2451

3 жыл бұрын

Hello Anna how are you doing hope you’re doing okay ✅

Our would could do better with a little more kindness ❤️🌎