Resonating so much on the first point about “try to understand before seeking to be understood”. People always have the intent to reply whenever communicating with others. It mostly ends up with “I think…I feel…I suggest”. However, listening is all about “you”. It’s also one of the most meaningful lesson that I learned this year.

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

Maybe it was the social breaks that forced us to reassess our listening skills, but honestly I’m so grateful for realizing this now and being a better listener moving forward! I’m glad to hear it wasn’t just me going on this journey ❤️

As someone without an older sister, this video was extremely therapeutic and reassuring, esp as I'm wrapping up my 20s. Love you, Jen!

This really speaks to me on so many levels. From being programed to accept what society dictated for me, mom guilt, communicating with my spouse...ALL of it. The more I go into my 30s, the more I'm able to realize and appreciate all the points you've touched on. Thank you!!!

Love that you take the time to self reflect and share with the world. I’m only 32 but totally agree 30’s are better than your 20’s.

ok but you look STUNNING for 37. omg.

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

Ahh thank you 🥰 you’re too kind

As a mother of two kids 4 and 2, and just turned 37 myself on the 12th of Dec, you couldn't have said it more eloquently! Those were the lessons I learnt thru my 30s, ive gotten so much more confident, happier and comfortable in my own skin. Thanks for the video!

I totally get the "me time" point. It's SO hard to do this as a mom, especially when we tend to put everyone else's needs ahead of ours. Me time always felt like a waste of precious time to me because I wasn't accomplishing something or being productive. I still struggle with this but have come to realize that having that time, even if it means doing absolutely nothing, re-energize s me and makes me a better mom and wife.

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

YES this right here!!! Even our mental justification is selfless because we are remembering it makes us better for them 😅❤️ But it is so important to be confident in our own identities for everyone around us too!

omg, as a Asian girl, I am so relate to your point when you said you didn't feel self worth if you were not improving yourself or learning something, I think the way our parents raised us or the societal expectation of the Asian world seeped in our mind that we always think we are not good enough and seems like we will never be! Thanks for the video, it makes me realize I have the same problem!

I’m 25 and struggling with learning how to relax 🥲 I tie my self worth to productivity too & all of my hobbies are related to work as well, so it’s really hard for me to break out of work mode and just enjoy sometimes haha 🙈 Thanks for your lessons, Jen! ❤️ Really appreciate them & wishing you a happy new year!!

I have loved all your heart to heart videos since the first one. Thanks for opening up to us. I am encouraged by you to self reflect. You have made a positive impact to me, thank you so much❣

Thanks Jen! I enjoyed hearing your perspectives and wisdom. So proud of where you are in life! I’m 26 and feel like I’ve come a long way as well. We’re always working and getting better!

OMG I so resonate so much to “vocalizing my own feelings in the moment” 😭 my life long struggle. Especially bec I feel so much shame about sharing my emotions towards the person, not only that I get numb in that moment (due to so many years of doing so) that I can’t even recognize my feelings and emotions in that moment. I usually understand afterwards what I felt, so that makes it extra difficult to vocalize in the same moment. I need some time and space to be able to process everything and then can communicate about it, which not everybody appreciates and understands. It’s still very challenging but I am making progress . Thank you for sharing this, Jen ❤️ happy new year, wish you all the best for you and your family ⭐️

On point in every topic , THANK YOU I needed this … & yes please more videos like this. Wishing You and your family many more blessings for the New Year.

hey Jen! I've started watching your channel since about 9 or 10 years ago, and... we were so YOUNG back then! so many things happened since and I am happy to follow your success and challenges all through the years ❤️

Just had my second kid and I felt like you were reading my mind. Thank you for sharing and your vulnerability

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

Congratulations on your second! You’re an absolute rockstar ❤️🤲 thank you so much for watching & listening ☺️

I love these lessons! I’m only in the beginning of my 30’s but definitely experiencing that this is the start of learning what it means to be happy. What you said about not being ashamed of what you like and who you are is one of the best lessons (for me personally). Being unapologetic. There’s no time to be someone else lol! So be who you wanna be, when you wanna be! Our timelines are unique to ourselves 💕 and the less we impose society expectations onto ourselves, the more we discover and reveal who we truly are 🥰 happy belated birthday and cheers to many more years! 😘

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

Aw thank you so much Cadence! 🥰 there really is too little time to not love what we love just because of someone else’s opinion! 👏👏👏

Thank you for your sharing and vulnerability. I’m definitely resonating with a lot of points here!

✨🌱This video brings me hope. I'm 35 and working a 9-5 job. However, I always had a passion for Creativity. I just started my KZread channel to encourage others to become creators. A lot of us are struggling to balance work and side hustles. I hope to grow my channel. It is never too late to start working on your dreams 🎉✨🌱

Hi Jen! Loved your mindset video. As a fellow mom, you’re actually the only KZreadr I still consistently follow…for many reasons but the foremost of them is because of videos like this one! I’m so grateful for the helpful and concise, realistic and valuable beauty videos that you share, but it’s your vulnerability and transparency about everyday life that has kept me following you for over 10 years now. Your holistic approach to beauty, internal and external, is magnetic. As someone who also struggles with “me time”, your final point made in this video made me feel very seen and understood! The hardest choice seems to be how to spend my free time-it’s like, gosh, how can I justify sitting and watching a show or reading a beauty magazine, or even watching a video of yours, when there’s a huge pile of laundry waiting for me... Or that personal growth book that’s been sitting by my bedside for a year? I don’t know if you’ve seen the new movie Encanto but there’s a song in there that has a theme around pressure and self-worth and accepting oneself regardless of how much service you can provide. The line goes “”But wait If I could shake the crushing weight of expectations Would that free some room up for joy Or relaxation, or simple pleasure?” Simple pleasures, to a mother, as you already well know, are like gold 🤣 Thank you for including that fabulous point in this video. Cheers to your 2022! Thank you for your wonderful, thoughtful, growth-minded content and for sharing so much of yourself with so many. Hope your Christmas season hasn’t been too crazy 😜 Fondly, Rebekah

Loved watching this, Jen! ♥️

Love this so much, Jen! Your wisdom and insight is so helpful ❤

Gosh these are fantastic! Im in the beginning of my 30s and definitely feel like i am also in the process of learning these things and growing and figuring things out.

You're my inspiration! I watched you for so long. Thanks for sharing your life lessons.

That was so well said!! Love it. Thank you for being so real to us~

Another fellow mom here w 2 kids under 5 and all you said here really resonated with me also ! Thank you for making this video it was really insightful

loved this so much, thank you for sharing these lessons :)

Thank you very much for sharing this. One lesson I have learned in my 30s - listen to the advice and accept support from other moms.

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

Wow this one hit me hard! This is so true. Motherhood cannot be done as an island alone. I didn’t have many mom friends before I had Aria but I rely on the mental support of my mom friends so much now!

Just about to enter my thirties. Thank you for your wisdom. I hope to continue to grow!

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

Let me be the first to welcome you into your 30s 🥰🤲

Well said I’m 39 and at a similar age in my life and I agree with all you highlighted 😀

Love these reflections ❤️

I really enjoyed this video, Jen!! Thank you for sharing! I'm close to entering my 30s now, and I really relate and connect with a lot that you've shared about being in (early) 20s and having a different mindset and perspective compared to now. I feel I learned a lot from your video, and feel much more comfortable and hopeful of the adventures and growth to come!! 😊

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

That’s so awesome! I’m glad you’ve felt the same way ❤️ I hope you can enter your 30’s with even more self-confidence and love!!!

@aerieauriea

2 жыл бұрын

@@frmheadtotoe thanks Jen!!🥰

I'm pushing 30 next year so glad to get a perspective! ❤ love ya

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

I hope you feel so embraced by your entrance into your 30’s ❤️

@usagimoon.x.o6256

2 жыл бұрын

@@frmheadtotoe thank you! 😊

I've been watching your videos for years and what really caused me to stick around for this long is videos like these in addition to the beauty videos. I'm 33 (have acne prone skin, Asian American, not a mom, acrobat-- I remember you did aerials for a while) and loved the parts about having no apologies for being myself and trusting my gut.

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

Omg I looooved aerial silks and especially lyra! I’d love to get back into that if given the chance. I wasn’t that flexible but it made me feel so strong & brave ❤️ and thank you for sharing that this is why you stuck around 🥺🥰 I’m so so honored and thankful that you relate since it’s honestly not easy sharing the deeper stuff but I know it’s at least important to those who will “get it”.

@vascularcambium

2 жыл бұрын

@@frmheadtotoe I mean I was here for the beauty and Asian American representation stuff too-- helped me navigate beauty when there was so little representation back then, but this was the stuff I remembered most. Yay for feeling strong and brave! I love lyra. Not a big fan of silks-- have muscular legs-- similar height as you. I mostly stay on the ground as a tumbler, flyer, and contortionist-- I have a disability called hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome so I am "flexible," but I struggle with stability, coordination, proprioception, injuries, etc. I am also a Christian.

I'm 26 and I love videos like these! It feels like listening to a big sister I never had! My biggest learning for the past 3 years of covid is intentional buying- I really was forced to purged buying makeup and othr things that just hang out at the house now because of the pandemic. I have to use up everything first, and if I don't have a space for it I will never buy it. Also applies to gadgets, clothing, fragrance or house decor. It makes me very contented on what I have now.

These are so interesting Jen! I'm only in my mid twenties but always curious to hear advice from people with more life experience. I'm curious if you've ever gone to therapy? A lot of the things you talked about sounded like things other YTers have also thought about but they've gotten to those ideas through therapy and I'd be curious about your experience if that's the case! Anyways, love you and thank you for sharing as always

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

Yes I have been seeing a therapist for the first time this year (I wish I had begun years ago!) and it has been so transformative! I’m so thankful for the things I’ve learned through that process ❤️

Great articulation! You taught me a lot through this content, thank you☺️

I love these types of videos so much. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. Wishing you and your family happy holidays and my best wishes for the new year! 💛

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

❤️❤️❤️ happy holidays to you too!!! I’m honored that you watched and it connected with you 😊

Yes, it was weird at first to give myself permission to have me time. No lie here. I was told young that we have to be better and do better. But I was never taught to take care of myself in health and in mind. Thank you for sharing your experiences as it resonate with me. And happy holidays all!

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

This hits me at my core. I was always told to be a counselor and giving to others selflessly but not how to speak up for myself and care for my mental well-being ❤️ and of course like you, try and be the BEST! Thank you for sharing your story as well!

I miss you, you incredibly wonderful human! Lol my first comment on YT ever too 😂 Looooved this vid, really hits home.

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

Miss you too!!!! Hahaha thanks for commenting 😂😂😂

And great video. Just turned 30 on the 14th. My baby just turned 1.

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

Birthday twins!!!! Happy birthday and kudos to you for raising your baby an entire year 🥳

I'm 23 about to turn 24 and this was super interesting to listen to your experience! I keep worrying that I am throwing my 20s out of the window since I'm almost halfway through and still figuring a ton out, but I have been seeing more videos like these that have convinced me that maybe the 30s are "where it's at," and not to worry about wasting time. 😆

@MilkyMinded

2 жыл бұрын

Just think about all the anxiety you'll feel about 'wasting time' in your 30s. Now that shits real- & will make you laugh at your 20-something-yr-old self. But then I'm sure I'll be saying the exact same thing about my 30s when I'm in my 40s. Society really drills the youth bullshit into our heads, don't they? Its exhausting!!

OMG Jen! We're just a few weeks apart in age! I feel like my 30's have been really interesting for me as well. Thanks for making this video! I love hearing your thoughts about the growth process. I think it's really important to be honest with myself too - save the time and move on!

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

You are so right!!! Wow. Being honest saves SO MUCH TIME, anxiety, worry, etc. That’s such a good way of thinking about it!

I love this so much. The lessons really resonated with me as I'm entering my 30s now. Thank you for sharing!!! I would love more videos like this.

I resonate with the first 2. I’m 35… I’m going to add to embrace our strengths. Sure validating others can be helpful to the person needing a listener but I’ve learned that I will have people who specifically use me for listening and it becomes automatic. If they need or want validation and it’s not something they are getting from me they may need to branch out and lean on others who can provide that. I wasn’t realizing that was also blocking me from your point #2. It’s asking myself, “What role am I playing in this relationship?” If I am just the listener all the time and the person taking is complaining that I am not giving them everything they want and need then I need to say, “Sorry I can’t listen anymore without saying what I think or feel. You are inviting me in on this, what’s supposed to be a conversation, not a monologue, and so I can no longer be mute for your benefit. Either find someone who can listen and validate or what I have to offer is ways to change and move forward.” It’s okay to give people options if you can’t fulfill what they need or want instead of us changing ourselves to accommodate (unhealthy use of Fe).

I agree with all of your points. I asked my husband how he feels about his 30s so far and we both agree, we are happier mentally and financially, but can improve physically. Lmao. We embrace our imperfections more than ever. You can’t win everything, if you do then great! But aiming for perfection is the killer of joy. With that being said, it’s normal to go through all the things we through in our 20s, because we learn who we are.

Would you please make an updated mlbb video? I have used up at least one of those you recommended in the mlbb video years ago. But they are mostly discontinued now. Really need another one! Thanks and merry Christmas!

Bday buddies!

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

Happy happy birthday Renee! 🥳

@reneejarrett2674

2 жыл бұрын

@@frmheadtotoe Happy belated to you too!!

Lesson I’ve learned in my 30s that’s kind of a combination of some of your points: listening to and respecting what my brain & body are trying to tell me. Example: since I was a little kid, I’ve always hated overhead lights- and because I never figured out a way to articulate the reason why, I just ignored the constant discomfort. So, when the pandemic hit and I was sent to work from home permanently, I decided to optimize my new home office- and my first investment was LAMPS EVERYWHERE. It made an immediate difference. I had far less eye strain, I could concentrate longer on my work, I was no longer squirming in my seat subconsciously trying to get away from overbearing lights, etc etc. I knew I was dyslexic and had sensory sensitivities, but I had never before actually done something to make my environment work for me in such a specific way.

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

Yesssss! It’s so important to not just hear but to listen to what your body is telling you. What a good distinction! I’m so glad you’ve taken the time to improve your workspace ❤️

About that Me Time, my doctor calls it the “super mom syndrome.” I think I know what me time is, but who has the time. That’s the old me. You have to make time. Thanks for sharing your stories and experiences. I enjoy the video.

I struggle right now with me time, self worth, mom guilt! All of it all the time!

Some advice sounds like from a therapist. Great video and sharing.

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

Therapy is SO good and has helped me grow in so many ways! I’m thankful I can pass that on in some way 🥰

Is there a LOVE button because like isn't enough.

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

SOB!!!! Thank you 🥰🥰🥰 I really feel your love!

that's the same birthday as my mum! ❤️

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

Happy belated birthday to your mom!!

@chantelloupe

2 жыл бұрын

@@frmheadtotoe and happy belated to you! 🥰

do u have a video "what i learned in my 20s" ? 🥰

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

Oh man I need to make one now! Is that something you guys would want to see?

@lifeisfullofshimmers

2 жыл бұрын

@@frmheadtotoe YES PLEASE ❤️

oh wow! Does anyone know what camera/setup she uses?

Regarding your first point, at which point do you offer advice? Do you ask the person if they wants your advice? Even then, some people aren’t always ready to hear it… idk I’ve been struggling with this one and wanted to see if you had any insight.

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

The best time to offer advice is when it’s asked for ❤️ For advice to ever be effective though, that person needs to have trust in you to not feel judged. If it’s someone you know trusts you fully, you can ask if they’d like advice first and share if they say yes

Totally turned into a me time is a wast to I need me time to stay sane after kids.

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

I say it jokingly but also with utmost seriousness, your sanity matters ❤️ especially as parents!!

Dec 30

Just beautiful Mashallah.

In my 20's until even the start of my 30's i would be SO self conscious about my facial imperfections that I would never go out without at least half a face of makeup, even if it was just for a quick trip to the shops or to pick up takeaway. Then suddenly something flipped inside my head and I just didn't care anymore. I went out to get groceries with zero make up on and felt fine to do so. It's probably because as you get older you're not in your 'prime' as you said and i just think, whats the point in trying to look like you're still in your prime, and probably because im in a stable relationship and im not trying to 'impress' anyone anymore 🙂 sry, long comment 😅

And here i am at 33 = no kids and no hubby😂 enjoying the freedom i suppose

@Tracy-uj8hf

2 жыл бұрын

Same 😘💜

Is mine happy birthday

혼자 애기하듯 올린 많은 비디오를 많은사람들이 봐주고 그 기다에 부흥해 성장한 존경♥

She looks 21 😮😮

You look 25

This woman is 37. Thirty-seven.

No way, you are 37! You look like teenager lol

@frmheadtotoe

2 жыл бұрын

Hahahaha thank you! When I was a teen I was so bitter about all the people who told me I looked like a 12 year old but now I’m very thankful 😊

You look more like 27 not anywhere near 37. I don’t believe you 😂

37? Dang girl you still look 25 to me