Watch Clips from Cold Lasagne Hate Myself 1999 - kzread.info/head/PLQ2q_0gNMbqGe-fo-zZEaAWLJmrSCluYS

@TheOriginalDeckBoy

2 жыл бұрын

Man.. when are you coming down under.. Ah stuff it.. I'll come to Britain and see you there... Love your work Acaster..

@antoniacotoca

2 жыл бұрын

You are a comedy genius.

@johndaly9570

Жыл бұрын

Can't get this link to work

@sarcasm-83

Жыл бұрын

@@johndaly9570 Believe in yourself

@_kontingency

Жыл бұрын

NO RESULTS FOUND

16 years old, hes home alone and he drinks hot chocolate? What a good kid!

@tux1968

2 жыл бұрын

Loves his family too.

@iambetterthanu

2 жыл бұрын

I guess that's the most exciting thing that's ever happened to him. He has to scream the story so they don't fall asleep.

@Skaos87

2 жыл бұрын

Then again, he also spent a night in a bush, wearing a dress, scared of some hoodlums.

@E-A-Z-Y

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, 10 heaped teaspoons though? Maniacal.

@MrBrownnn696

2 жыл бұрын

Lmfao...

I love the physicality that he adds into his bits. Like, it would be funny without it, but with it it’s HILARIOUS.

James is proof that you can be funny without even getting close to being offensive. You just need to be talented

@thatonekid565

2 жыл бұрын

I hadn’t watched the other half of the clip-

@NotaDrDoom

2 жыл бұрын

You should watch the whole special before saying something like this lol

@emdiar6588

2 жыл бұрын

Ask a Baptist if they got close to being offended.

@thedistinguished5255

2 жыл бұрын

@@thatonekid565 in your defense, baptists dont count. we all know they arent people

@hunterfunnyguy

2 жыл бұрын

is it really offensive if its about christians? are we sure?

I'm just laying here, speechless, from the top-of-the-tea joke 😍

@venoxidae

2 жыл бұрын

Apparently not speechless...

@mikemack9701

2 жыл бұрын

@@venoxidae Typing, after all, is NOT the same as speaking.

@venoxidae

2 жыл бұрын

@@mikemack9701 Legal Definition of pure speech : the communication of ideas through spoken or written words or through conduct limited in form to that necessary to convey the idea

@mikemack9701

2 жыл бұрын

@@venoxidae The legal concept of "pure speech," also is not the same thing as "speaking," but enjoy your imaginary gotcha.

@elenawilliams32

2 жыл бұрын

@@venoxidae You'd be fun on a night out.

What I love about this is it’s a complete flip on the trans-exclusionary status quo on comedy. I see Christian conservatives getting offended in these comments and it’s like the pin never drops for them

After watching his netflix specials, hes def one of the top 5 comics out there right now. Original, funny, and doesnt resort to picking on anyone that doesnt deserve it

So glad they made this top of the tea joke a clip. Was a highlight of the show for me in the audience!

@fairy5668

Жыл бұрын

I hate it so much but god do I quote it constantly

"You better *heap* " -J.Acaster 2021

@mingycomumbus6305

2 жыл бұрын

"[...] faith" 😉

@matto809

2 жыл бұрын

*gotta

@certifiedjeanpuncher

2 жыл бұрын

Not sure how you mess up a quote of 3 words

@jssfuzz

2 жыл бұрын

*2019

I hereby declare that Mr. Acaster is the current greatest.

4 heaped teaspoons = 2 normal desert spoons = 1 flat ladle full. You're welcome!

@satanssockpuppet

2 жыл бұрын

Well, I have 3 ladles and they're all different sizes.. so naturally I'll be using the biggest one I got

@natisfreezing

2 жыл бұрын

You gotta HEAP

@ab-oh6zb

2 жыл бұрын

Nah you gotta heap

The way he ends that joke😂

@stuartr2764

2 жыл бұрын

There was a joke somewhere in this shaggy dog story?😊

I started to cringe a bit towards the end, but that recovery was perfect 👌

@riaayo5321

2 жыл бұрын

There's several gags he has in this special that are this peak design of doing something that doesn't seem all that funny or is kind of cringe, only for him to retroactively make it hilarious with how he caps the bit off. It's brilliant.

@__-cd9ug

2 жыл бұрын

Yes it's a really interesting take on audience expectations, the tacit 'rules' about what he can and can't say before his jokes start to seem off. If anyone could pull it off it had to be James I can't imagine what it's like to become famous for a few appearances on panel shows and one bakeoff meme; he really had to work on his standup persona to stay true to himself I bet

@fairy5668

Жыл бұрын

​@@__-cd9ughe's been a rising star in stand-up for most of his career actually. He's won so many awards from before he ever appeared on a panel show

@__-cd9ug

Жыл бұрын

​@@fairy5668 you're right but he does address those things in Cold Lasagne, there's a difference between being a rising star/winning awards and becoming known internationally for a meme/panel show clips - some people who don't really know you come to your show expecting a specific type of comedy that definitely isn't what you usually do, and then they get angry when you don't give them what they feel entitled to

Genuinely the funniest man alive

@jamescarr4662

2 жыл бұрын

Grim

@TrentTube

2 жыл бұрын

1000

@iambetterthanu

2 жыл бұрын

I hope that was sarcastic.

@AndersWatches

Жыл бұрын

@@iambetterthanu can’t wait for your first gig must be pretty incredible

Leave it to James to make drinking tea weird.

You. Gotta. HEAP

This guy is 2016 James Acaster’s evil twin

It’s because of this I call baptists “bappos” now

Am I the only one who didn't know that James is 2 months shy of 37?? 😳 I thought he was around 28-29...

@TigerGreene

2 жыл бұрын

And he's already peaked.

@willseabury6971

2 жыл бұрын

He used to be

@Missmelencholy

2 жыл бұрын

You WHAT

@mystic7400

2 жыл бұрын

@@willseabury6971 that's true.

@mystic7400

2 жыл бұрын

@@Missmelencholy you didn't?

The only way to use Milo too XD Oh my goodness, I nearly died at the tea's true desires XD

@janemacintyre9801

2 жыл бұрын

Hello fellow Aussie :)

You are by far the most genius comic ive ever heard.

I feel somehow validated by an extended riff on the word "heaped" maybe it's because I was raised Baptist

Bless him. He’s a sweet boy.

Well... off my tea now.

Tea in a clear mug does feel wrong and I'm not even british. I have 1 or 2 clear mugs and I only ever drink water or herbs out of them, no tea, that feels wrong.

@robandtina

2 жыл бұрын

Wait... we can drink herbs? Which ones, and why, and the clear mug makes that work better? Is this like drinking essential oils? I won't make that mistake again.

@miledith555

2 жыл бұрын

@@robandtina Nah, I mean herbs like peppermint, sage, chamomile etc. I don't call that tea, cuz there's no actual tea in them. They're good for stuff like stomach ache, indigestion, sleep and stuff. And it just doesn't feel wrong drinking them out of a clear mug like it does with tea.

@thisisraveamok

8 ай бұрын

I didn't even know there was such a thing as a "clear mug". Isn't that just... a glass?

Thank you big James

I'm DYING 😂🤣😂 LOVING him so much lately!!

- Look, I don't enjoy that bit any more than you do. Well, you better not because I enjoyed it a lot.

Heap 'em high!

‘You gotta heap’ 😂 🙌🙌🙌

his evil laugh is the best in the business!!! ROFL

I enjoyed this too much! 😋🤤🤭

Can't believe he threw up after he drank to much hot chocolate 😂

@elenawilliams32

2 жыл бұрын

Multiple hot chocolates with too many heaped spoonfuls in it. I hope he made it to the bathroom.

@yoshibeats5663

Жыл бұрын

You havent???

@mcgreeniepants

5 ай бұрын

I believe it.

Peephole tea! 🤣🤣😂 oh man, I'm creasing

@iambetterthanu

2 жыл бұрын

Creasing? You mean laughing?

@xxPenjoxx

2 жыл бұрын

@@iambetterthanu yes, laughing. Maybe it's just a Scottish saying...

@4hm35319hd0h5

2 жыл бұрын

@@xxPenjoxx is it laughing so much that your face goes all creased with wrinkles?

The ‘you gotta HEAP’ was very Seinfeld😂

4:07 "You know what they say..." lmao

I swear James Acaster gets me.

I’m a Christian man I’m still watching; sorry James, gotta try harder 😂😂❤️

@mikegreen3485

2 жыл бұрын

Get out of here, Chrizzo

@LlywellynOBrien

2 жыл бұрын

But are you a Baptist?

I got an ad for handcrafted wooden mugs under this video and wonder how much that would bother James

HEAPING TEASPOONS!! HA. HA. HA. HA. This is the funniest human alive.

Are 'Chrizzos' Christians? Are 'Bappos' Baptists? Serious question.

@mikegreen3485

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, from earlier in the special

@mikemack9701

2 жыл бұрын

Obviously. That would leave "Dummies" for Evangelicals. Serious answer.

@becominghero9754

Жыл бұрын

@@mikemack9701 Why are we making slurs about people's religions now? It's not okay to do to M uslims or J ewish people, it's not okay to do to those guys either.

@mikemack9701

Жыл бұрын

@@becominghero9754 Then again, Christians are repressive, hypocritical and overwhelmingly arrogant in their evangelism. "Making fun" of them is, likely, the nicest way of dealing with them.

@AndersWatches

Жыл бұрын

@@becominghero9754 “slurs” 😂

The 'top of the tea' bit was too challenging for me. 🙈

@hweigel528

2 жыл бұрын

So long, Bappo!

@kath1626

2 жыл бұрын

@@hweigel528 Heh, if only. I'm an agnostic and was still offended lol.

@StuTubed

2 жыл бұрын

Bad luck! That's his job. He's a standup comedian, he's meant to challenge people. If you don't like being challenged, don't watch his shows. What's the matter, too challenging for ya? That's his job. He's a standup comedian, he's meant to challenge people. If you don't like being challenged, don't watch his shows. What's the matter, too challenging for ya? That's his job. He's a standup comedian, he's meant to challenge people. If you don't like being challenged, don't watch his shows. What's the matter, too challenging for ya?

@williboldt6701

2 жыл бұрын

Too CHALLENGING for ya!?! (from earlier in the special)

Takes a really unexpected turn at 3:50

The clear mug thing is true! 😂

My condolences to whoever just realised they have The World's Most Specific Fetish 😅

Symphony of random… 🙌🏻

This is so beautifully unhinged

pretty sure that's Ed Gamble laughing at 4:11

@bossman5141

2 жыл бұрын

Had to listen a few times to come to the conclusion that it might well be Ed Gamble

So long, Bappo's!

I read this as very drunk British problems.

Bloody bappos! hahahaa

You gotta heap, baby

Truth

Just think about how this is as boring as Acaster gets, his day to day is more entertaining than most comedians life work.

"There you are, you filthy top of the tea..." OM??G

The clear tea mug. Nope nope nope.

He’s so cute😂

"So long Chrizzos" Jokes on you James, I'm still 'ere, still laughing! :P

JAMES.

I hated this bit so much when i watched it (as im sure many people did) but man's tryna get rid of the Bappos and i cant hate him for it. Also I always say "top of the tea" to myself now

You gotta heap. YOU. GOTTA. HEAP.

pretty funny, but when was the show recorded?

@swiftlymurmurs

2 жыл бұрын

Late 2019, not too long before the first lockdown

What a fucking fever dream

i cant stop watching all these different videos from this night.....I've seen this like 10 times along with rando British Bake off Scenes, soooo good. Best baking guest by far...James, Keep telling the tale of the tea and get rid of those wholesome Chrizzos

its good. quite.

UNHINGED

You. Gotta. Heap.

jesus christ that sense of humor does NOT suit james... ig that's what makes it so much funnier

James- are you ok?

The scummy top of the tea is a thoroughly Southern problem. I miss having Buxton mineral straight from the tap, and all because there's no jobs North of Kettering 😪

@eleanormason2647

2 жыл бұрын

Not all south- I live in the south west and we don't have hard water. Beautiful water straight from the tap every time 😍

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"So long crisoes"??? Can someone explain what he said here? I was in tears at the top-of-the-tea bit but I don't get that part. : (

@bwkelley

Жыл бұрын

In an earlier part of the show, he says he'll do whatever it takes to get Christian /Chrizzos to leave his show.

@thegoodgeneral

Жыл бұрын

@@bwkelley thanks for that answer! I ended up watching the full show. : )

I hope the catholic priest next door to me enjoyed this bit

This is the first time I realized he says he was 16 in this story. You need to leave your kids alone by he age of 12 to learn from these mistakes. 16 is way too old. I've been rationing my Halloween Reese's peanut butter cups to myself since I was 11, cuz I learned the hard way what happens when I don't ration them when I was 10. ... You run out too soon and then you're sad.

💀💀💀🍵

Surprised he didn't get blind tipsy.

as a non english speaker, can someone explain what 'chrysos" and "bappos" are slang for? ty

@VegeMaticPragtarian

2 жыл бұрын

I believe it stands for Christians and Baptists, who are stereotypically very conservative Christians

Yeah, but were they Uriah Heaped?

@TastyChevelle

2 жыл бұрын

Ugh

If it gets bapos out the door omg

4:28 What is happening

there is nothing like too much chocolate...N then there is nothing like too much hot chocolate...could be too hot 🙄

Why does he not like Chrisos?

@askthepizzaguy

2 ай бұрын

Right wing politics that invariably remove human rights, mismanage the common funds, and induce suffering. Also a holier than thou attitude that is surly, unpleasant and quite arrogant.

Gawky English attention to detail, filtered through green pastures of absurdity and generational disappointment. He is such a typical Brit. And yet stands alone. Maverick.

Definitely cringe at the end…but everything else I’ve ever seen from him is brilliant, and hey it had a punchline and recovery. Idk what he has against baptists tho 🤔

@praguepride9350

11 ай бұрын

That's part of his opening where he says he swears now because he wants to drive way "Chrissos" aka Christians from his gigs. It's part brick joke, part political jab.

@wishingonthemoon1

11 ай бұрын

@@praguepride9350 oh that’s sad

what the.. is he the British Brian Regan or is Brian.. whos in charge here?

I think u ve just lost it since the bake off

I’m genuinely confused by James’ persona & I’m not sure if I like it.

Still drinking chocolate milk, heaps n heaps how it came to ur mind...dude take a shower n u gotta do better than that

Haven't laughed for even a split second. Just kidding. I laughed for a whopping half second at one of the jokes, actually.

@jumpydino3015

Жыл бұрын

too ChAlleNgiNg fOr yA?

To be fare Chrissos would find it funny they like a cup of tea after Sunday mass.

@stewpacalypse7104

Жыл бұрын

I heard they preferred Dicken's Cider.

Just as I worried modern British comedy had died on a massive woke dung heap of tedium.... God bless you mister Acaster our saviour, top form!

@Sammie1053

2 жыл бұрын

I'm really scratching my head over this... I'm glad you liked the clip but if you're not a fan of the "woke dung heap" I'm not sure what you're going to think about the rest of the set

@jackslaughter3233

2 жыл бұрын

@@Sammie1053 I thought the whole set was absolutely amazing. Acaster is a rare talent and has spent years of hard work on his jam; it really shows.

@devenscience8894

Жыл бұрын

"Woke dung heap?" Well, you gotta heap.

@pauldecoster

Жыл бұрын

You didn’t see the first part of the set. He renounced any “Chrisos”

@jackslaughter3233

Жыл бұрын

@@pauldecoster I've seen the whole set 😊👍 He's a hugely intelligent and talented comedian. Not somebody from a minority group who has been shoved onto the stage to tick a diversity quota box despite a relative lack of comedic skill.

I gotta give it to James his comedy is..unique..but I find him to be funnier off the stage like when he’s on game/panel show’s 🤷🏻‍♂️ I remember a while back him being on James(🤮)Cordon’s late night show n the audience(American) just not gettin it..it was a bit cringe but he powered through it.

as a comfortable AMERICAN bappo..........may i say "lol"

Tea in a clear glass cup just feels wrong and I don't like it.

:(

Yikes! That's not my cup of tea...

He said Kevin McAlister... Did he mean Kevin McCauley? XD

@cadelepski5161

2 жыл бұрын

He mean't Kevin McAllister - from Home Alone.

@Hey-Its-Dingo

2 жыл бұрын

Kevin McCallister from Home Alone, portrayed by Macauley Culkin

Thing about us Chrizos is that some of us basically pride ourselves on being unoffendable 😂. You can make fun of us all you like and we'll probably just agree saying "yep we're all sinful hypocrites who need Jesus". Make fun of God and I'll simply stop watching, but make fun of Christians and I'm laughing with you

@Dudukina

2 жыл бұрын

James, you know what to do.

@ronanmcintyre

2 жыл бұрын

I think you're not the kind he's worried about

@JackDearnley

2 жыл бұрын

Genuine question: if God is all powerful why is it bad to make fun of him? Surely he can take it. If God is all knowing and all seeing then surely he knows that the world is ridiculous and that by extension he is ridiculous for making it. And if God is all good then shouldn't he be able to laugh at himself and allow others to laugh at him too? (I'm not trying to undermine your faith, I just want to understand it)

@SmokeySmudgeStudio

2 жыл бұрын

@@JackDearnley hey great question. Can you elaborate more on what you mean when you say the world is ridiculous?

@maxbarnt3835

2 жыл бұрын

The whole chrizzos bit is more a joke on Gervais than actual bappos anyways.

How is he so funny on panel shows and then this is his standup? 🤔

@swiftlymurmurs

2 жыл бұрын

The point of the bit is he's pretending to be a senseless "edgy" comedian. It's a callback to an earlier bit where he rants about his audience having become too soft. It's very different from his earlier work

@kenlavicka

2 жыл бұрын

People like Sam showing up to complain about the comedy when he doesn't understand the comedy is so appropriate for this stupid era we live in.

@mrSam3ooo

2 жыл бұрын

@@kenlavicka Funnily just today I relistened to the opening bit of this special, the part where he mentions Ricky Gervais, and absolutely loved it! I'm hard to please when it comes to stand up specials I will admit that

@becominghero9754

Жыл бұрын

@@mrSam3ooo Yeah he has high bits and low bits.

Not as funny as I expect from him