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Is Dreading Christmas When Grieving Normal?
Often people who are bereaved reluctantly tell me that they are dreading Christmas and feel guilty, ashamed and a misery for voicing their honest feelings.
In this video I explore how when we are grieving, it's normal to feel you're not looking forward to something that has the potential to bring painful waves of loss, sadness, loneliness and apprehension.
I also share some useful strategies to help you cope with the pressure and expectations of the festive season.
Remember that you are not alone .. we share the journey.
#copingwithgrief
#gettingthroughchristmas
#bereavementatchristmas
#griefandlossstrategies
#dreadingchristmas
#missingalovedoneatchristmas
Photo credit: Kate's View Photography
Music License: ZX6YF9BHKNMLRQY4
Пікірлер: 19
My husband died just before last Christmas. I went to my son’s house for Christmas and hated every moment of it as I didn’t won’t to celebrate and knew that I was making it very difficult for my grandchildren. I had to leave it was so horrible. This year my daughter will come to me. Your videos are so true to what I’m experiencing
@lifelosshope
8 ай бұрын
So sorry Sally to read about the loss of your husband.. understandable that you didn’t feel up to celebrating Christmas last year .. I pray that this year with your daughter will be of some comfort. Sending love 💕 x
My wife of 18 years (23 together) flushed me out of her life in August after falling for her therapist councillor due to the suicide of her sister in 2020. At 49 I simply cannot live alone in an empty flat, so my solution has been to move into a shared house with other people. They're all very nice and are planning a Christmas together which I'll be involved in. But I really don't know what my long term plan is. I'm just getting by day-by-day, working through the grief, loneliness, loss and desperation. Existing, not living.
@lifelosshope
8 ай бұрын
The agony of bereavement after betrayal and desertion is terrible and often a loss that is minimised because the person didn’t die which can make it more complicated I think. Glad you’re living with others now .. but as you say loneliness is still present.. sending love 💕 x
@user-zh6rw2xp2z
8 ай бұрын
My husband started meeting up secretly with a younger woman after being married to me for 36 years. I put up with his behavior for 1 year but the situation was unbearable for me. Eventually I made the decision and told him to leave our house even though it broke my heart. It’s been 1 year now and my life isn‘t the same anymore I feel as if half my heart has been ripped out 🥲 I thought we were soul mates and he was everything to me. I am dreading Xmas and it’s too much for me seeing everyone excited and happy around me but no one understands.
My husband loved Christmas and especially the trees. He passed ib January 2021. We put up my tree in November 2021. It is still up and lights on every evening. He would love it. I have.
@lifelosshope
8 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing this.. it’s very precious to have kept your Christmas tree up to celebrate your husband’s life and love ❤️
@VeldaGray
8 ай бұрын
My wife passed 11 weeks ago (41 years together). I dread not only Christmas but all the firsts next year. I don’t plan on celebrating Christmas this year. I posted a reply here to say this to you….when we lived in MS back in the late 80s there was a house on the way to church that had their tree in the window all year. What they would do is decorate it for every holiday/season. Like a red, white, and blue tree for July, St. Patrick’s Day all-green tree, etc., etc. We loved that, but it would take a lot of time and organization. Just a thought, maybe for the future, to honor his love of the tree decorating. Condolences and prayers.
@virginiadodgen2787
8 ай бұрын
@@VeldaGray I told .y daughter just yesterday that I was changing decorations after Christmas to white and gold for winter , red for February and pastel for March. Thank you for sharing. So sorry for your loss. His bday was 2 weeks after passing and our anniversary was 5 weeks. Still very hard, but counseling helped me face it and celebrate good times instead of focusing on loss so much.
Hi i hated christmas l was dreding it l had been asked from nice people and familey but just wanted to be a lone with my mories lost my little dog milo first christmas with out him he loved christmas and is presents it was just so awfull get up christmas morning feelt so sad can ot explain how l felt house so lonley and empety all l wanted to do cry all day but l was luckey realey l had visitores so it made me feel a bit better but stil greving its such a strange feeling that you can not explain to no one else stil feel that awfull emteynesthink l wil always thank youu for your lovley talk ever thing you have said is so true thank you again for your under standing x x❤
Thank you Sara.
@lifelosshope
6 ай бұрын
You’re welcome.. hopefully it brings you some sense that you’re not alone. Sending love and comfort x 🥰
I lost my adult son just 6 months ago. He isolated himself from the family as a part of his mental illness and did not come home for Xmas, but I used to send him Xmas specialities I baked, a small gift and he always thanked me from his heart. For a while I have been struggling with the thought of how to do about sending a package to his elder half- brother, my oldest son ( who lives far away) now that his younger brother is gone. But recently I came up with an idea that I could send something to a refugee couple I know that had to move to another city, and now I feel ok with it. I have also decorated a bit extra for Xmas this year (normally very minimalistic) because I feel that we should take extra care of us, me and my middle son's younger brother who always spends Xmas with me, to make it a bit extra cosy... my deceased son is present every day in my heart, and we will light a candle for him at the memorial place... I get that everybody's situation is different this is just what my life with grief looks like today. You do you, one day at a time...❤
@lifelosshope
8 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing and talking about your adult son’s death .. so tragic. I love the idea to send something at Christmas to others as it’s a way of honouring him. As you say we all need to do “us” on our unique path of grief. Sending love 💕 x
My job on Black Friday was to get the Christmas totes upstairs so my wife could deck out the house for Christmas 7 trees throughout the house, it was truly a Christmas Wonder Land., now it's all gone.
@lifelosshope
8 ай бұрын
That’s tragic Steve .. understandable your world feels empty and you’re dreading Christmas.. so sorry and sending love 💕 x
I am a new widow an some people don’t understand how I feel an don’t want to celebrate Christmas with out my love!
I found that dreading Christmas was way worse than the day itself.
@lifelosshope
6 ай бұрын
That’s an interesting point as I always feel the same.. dreading it beforehand but when the significant day or event comes it’s less bad than expected.. guess it’s anticipatory dread .. sending you love and comfort x 🥰